The Drive Magazine // SpringII issue 113 by The Drive Magazine

The

DRIVE

Issue 113

& his Iron maiden

The Ironman THE UNTOLD STORY

LIFESTYLE | CULTURE | PEOPLE | TRENDS

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The

DRIVE

PAUL ST-PIERRE

Publisher

KEN STEWART

Managing Director

David Hunter

Sales Director

sabine main

Editorial and Creative Director

CONTRIBUTORS SYX LANGEMANN

Photographer

Trevor Booth

Photographer

Milana Radic

Photographer

Veronique Mandel Writer Michelle LArame Writer

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ALLEY L. BINIARZ

Writer

ELAN DIVON

Writer

Suzy Kendrick

Writer

Jen Hale

Copy editor

TINA BRIGLEY

Nutritionist

Julie ward

Love & Intimacy coach

Samantha Boulos Make-up, stylist, trend forecaster Tracey LAFORET

Hair stylist

Kelly Spinarsky

Make-up

ALLEY KAY

Model

MARNIE ROBILLARD Art director

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Contents

SPRING/summer 2018

WELCOME 6 Editorâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s letter HEALTH DRIVE Mind 8 What you perceive, you believe HEALTH DRIVE Body 10 John Mack with CrossFit

PSYCH DRIVE Lionel & Erin Sanders

SEX DRIVE The drugs love is made of

HEALTH DRIVE Spirit 13 Two minute morning MOJO SEX DRIVE 16 The drugs love is made of PSYCH DRIVE 18 Digital Mo(u)rning 23 Tackling the monster of mind stress 26 Lionel & Erin Sanders 36 Strong & Silent no more TREND DRIVE 41 Beauty DIY Fix 43 Get The Look LIFE DRIVE 48 Corey Bellemore

18 PSYCH DRIVE Digital Mo(u)rning

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TREND DRIVE Beauty Fix

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EDITOR’S LETTER

Healthy mind = Healthy body The importance of being tuned in every day to foster a healthy mind—and in turn a healthy body—is something I feel strongly about. It takes years, tears, words, emotions and a lot of thinking and feeling to grow up. Every newborn experiences what some have considered a ‘rude awakening,’ and I don’t disagree. From the warm womb of our mothers, we are yanked out, poked and prodded before, if fortunate enough, we return to the embrace of our mothers. And that’s just the beginning. Beyond being birthed, we each have our own story, unique to us. Grave or not, it’s the path we took to get to where we are today. I believe that the unforgettable moments we experience when growing up are the very ones that give shape to our blueprints and therefore, our beliefs. But what if those moments we experienced left a negative emotion, one that affects us as adults, even if we don’t realize it? How then do we take these moments, better understand them and do the work to shift them to create a positive experience and begin to transform? How many layers do we need to peel back before we get to the root of our blueprint? It’s been a beautiful journey of growth for me personally, and I know you’ve had your own. I am humbled by the thought that growth and learning does not stop until we each take our last breath. We are all students of life, should we choose to learn from what’s around us. This issue couldn’t possibly contain all the elements or content it takes to foster a healthy body led by a healthy mind. We curated a collection of articles to reach a variety of topics. We are excited to share our second re-launch issue with you and welcome your feedback on our website at www.thedrivemagazine.com/contact, or by email at editorial@thedrivemagazine.com

Sabine Main

Editorial + Creative Director

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Is your mind fixed or wired for growth? By Alley L. Biniarz

“Another round of B’s,” I sighed, evenly unimpressed and unfazed by my seventh grade report card. I looked up at my teacher, Ms. LaPorte, who seemed to be sending a similarly indifferent look my way, as if acknowledging my continued string of academic mediocrity. Indeed, throughout my years of elementary and secondary studies, it seemed my teachers were always advising I needed to try harder, and that my priorities were sprinkled thinly between sports, theatre and writing. I was reminded of this recently when I came across one of my old report cards— another in a long line of merely “satisfactory” reports, consisting almost entirely of mediocre comment after mediocre comment. Thirteen years had passed since this particular report card was issued, and yet it triggered the same kind of feelings with which I still struggle when facing new projects or challenges in life: Will I fall into the same old pattern of settling? How can I live a life above the mediocre? It often takes hours to recover and multiple positivity techniques to pull me back into the worthiness I know I deserve. Still, in the middle of a new project I will inevitably find myself at times unsatisfied. I’m constantly thirsty for another challenge before I’ve successfully completed the one at hand. Thirty years ago, Dr. Carol Dweck studied her students’ attitudes on failure and observed that what they heard others say about them invariably became what they believed to be true. Dr. Dweck’s findings helped her coin the term “fixed mindset and growth mindset” to describe how praise of one’s effort and perseverance produces a higher learning success rate than praise of one’s talents or qualities. A mindset is a self-perception that people hold about themselves. For

instance, “I am not a good student,” or “I am not a good mom.” A fixed mindset believes that these perceptions will always be true, whereas a growth mindset strives to be better. The former can quite often be an unwavering belief that stays with students well into adulthood and can hinder their transition into the professional world. Julie Fader, a mindfulness expert who owns Head of the Class Tutoring Centre, has seen students and parents walk through her door searching for answers, but feeling they need to skip steps in order to feel like they’re moving forward. “I see all kinds of kids who come to our program with this impulsivity and rush to accomplish,” says Fader. “They feel as if they’re not where they need to be, and they see themselves stuck in the middle.” Fader suggests this need to overcome issues quickly by not following every step comes from a fearful place, and is an attempt to overcome that perception that things will always be the same; in essence, fixed growth. “It all comes from fear,” she says. “It has happened to me where I’ve felt like I had missed the boat on a project. But what’s worse? If I had put the boat into the water and had no oars? Where would I go?” Now in her 10th year of business, Fader is in the middle of her own company development and in the process of discovering her own growth instinct—including riding out the bursts of momentum she experiences in her work. “As a business owner I have rushed steps in the process,” she says. “There is often a sense of immediacy and urgency, but think of the fruit that this business will bear from following all of the steps in the process, as opposed to rushing and the stresses that unfold from that. It does become a struggle, and eventually you have to pull back.” D.

HEALTH DRIVE Mind Body Spirit

So what can people do to switch their mindset from a fixed one to one that fosters growth? Think about your growth, and how day-to-day you look in the mirror and don’t notice major differences. Now, look at a photo of yourself from a year ago. See the difference? The same can be said about success: the baby steps may seem stagnant or nonexistent, but these steps are essential to successful growth. Write down three changes you see in yourself in the photo. Now write down three more that you can’t see. Do the same for photos of yourself in the last three and five years. Ask yourself, “Where am I now?” or “What have I learned since then?” Do you have any fixed thoughts about yourself from then until now? Change your wording from a negative question or comment to one that highlights positivity and growth. For example, instead of saying “I hate my job,” ask, “How can I feel freer?” Instead of thinking, “I need to work out,” ask yourself “How can I work with my body?” “What if I fail?” becomes “I have the chance to try.” “Am I sure I can do it?” turns into “I am lucky to be learning.” And above all, attributing fault to everyone but yourself will never fix your problems; take responsibility for what’s not working in your life, and you can move forward. When pursuing success, we are very much chasing a feeling, whether that be an A grade, or financial freedom or just getting out of the rat race in some form or fashion. However, a rush to the end goal, while certainly bringing about a burst of instant gratification, isn’t always going to get us there faster. Fader compares this “rushing” to putting a kernel of corn in the ground in the morning and then expecting to be eating its harvest by noon. Like any living thing, corn needs time to grow. And humans do too. 9

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HEALTH DRIVE Mind Body Spirit

John Mack Changing lives and enjoying the process By Michelle Laramie | Syx Langemann photography

Walking through the doors at CrossFit All Levels can be intimidating for anyone. The music is blaring, people are sweating buckets and yelling, lifting extreme amounts of weights and slamming them to the ground. Needless to say, the workouts are intense but John Mack, one of the owners, welcomes you in and inspires you to try the impossible and change your life. It’s important to continue to have likeminded people pushing themselves to be better in all aspects. Mack says that’s what gets him through the difficult times. “I hope we continue to grow and we continue to help people and change lives,” he says. “It means so much when someone tells you how much you have changed their lives.” He makes an extraordinary impact by always being there to listen at your lowest while pushing you to do better, become stronger and celebrate during your highest victories. When asked how he feels about this he takes it humbly in stride, chalking it up to “just doing what’s right.”

Corey Donaldson, 30, a fireman for Windsor Fire and Rescue, has had some very traumatizing experiences at work and credits John for really being there for him and supporting him in his physical and mental health. “I got the call at the university where the girl lit herself on fire,” says Donaldson. “I was the first one there. It was like a horror movie, and the next day I came here. On a personal level this gym is like my therapy. They really listen.” Claire Yancy, a 51-year-old wife and mother of two, is training to compete in CrossFit at a master’s level and Mack got her started. “John was the first coach I had,” she says. “He was my first impression of the sport. I have an enormous amount of respect for John. We developed a great friendship.” Yancy says that John is really able to motivate his coaches and that made her want to get her training certificate. “I really wanted to get my Level 1 and be part of this team to help break this barrier for other women coming in. I wanted people to see that it’s

possible at my age to be fit and do this.” Jennifer Stanton attributes a lot of her success to Mack and the gym. She said that she has never been anywhere where she has felt more welcomed. “I was pretty unhealthy physically and mentally,” she says. “I really wanted something that would motivate me. I never felt judged. I have lost 65 pounds and I’m not at risk of diabetes anymore. I have so much more confidence. It has really changed my life, I love it.” Although the milestones reached are amazing, Mack takes the most pride in building his gym family. He knows all his athletes individually—their names, their partners, and what their goals are. He says people need to remember to enjoy the journey. “Trust that process and enjoy the ride,” he says. “We work hard, but when I see my kids and wife come in here and enjoy themselves and enjoy all the athletes, I just look around and think wow, this is awesome, this is where I want to be.” D.

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John Mack—CrossFit Owner/athlete

“For me CrossFit is a companion on my journey. It is always there to get me through a tough day, to inspire me, to humble me. I have never been able to stick to an exercise regimen for more than 6 weeks prior to CrossFit. I started CrossFit in 2012, and at 42, I am stronger, faster and look better than I did 20 years ago. It’s not about the goal, it’s about the journey.”–Jarred Mckinlay Owner/athlete

Jennifer Stanton—CrossFit athlete Claire Yancy—CrossFit athlete

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HEALTH DRIVE Mind Body Spirit

MINUTE Morning

Mojo

By Tina Brigley | www.tinabrigley.com

“Eat breakfast.” “It’s the most important meal of the day.” “Skipping meals slows your metabolism.” We are constantly reminded that eating breakfast is important, and that there’s a direct correlation between that first meal of the day and better health. But how do you fit it in? Mornings are full of rushing to prepare for the day, and before we are out the door, we are already exhausted.

Try these delicious recipes to increase your energy, start burning fat and start your day off on the healthy track! To mix up your smoothies, experiment with different fruits. You can also add a banana and natural peanut butter instead of the berries and almond butter.

But what if there was a way to raise your energy and find time to eat a high-quality breakfast? Let’s start this day off on the right track with a perfectly balanced meal in only two minutes.

The Power Smoothie 1 cup of baby spinach 1 cup of frozen power berries 1 cup of unsweetened vanilla almond milk 1 scoop of unsweetened vanilla plant-based protein powder 1 tbsp of almond butter

The best way to get your motor running is to eat a high-quality meal within an hour of waking up. Shakes and smoothies that are perfectly balanced help you to boost your metabolism, start burning fat and balance out those moods. And when you drink a shake, you are less likely to have sugar cravings during the day and avoid the 3 pm crash. HEALTH TIP

By chewing your smoothie, you can activate digestive enzymes in your saliva, helping you to predigest your food and assimilate those great vitamins, minerals and nutrients.

Blend and voilà! A perfectly balanced meal with your fibrous carbs, simple carbs, protein and fats. I recommend plant-based protein powder because whey is often full of “sneaky” sugars that could cause cravings during the day while creating bloating in a lot of people. Have a sweet tooth but don’t want the extra calories? Try this amazing smoothie: The Chocolate Cherry Bomb (and it really is the bomb!) 1 cup of spinach 4 dates 1 cup of frozen cherries 1 scoop of unsweetened chocolate plant-based protein powder 1 cup of unsweetened vanilla almond milk 13

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SEX DRIVE

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THE DRUGS Candlelight. Soft music. Foot massages. Kissing. (Or just a quick romp in bed before the kids get home from school.) Foreplay and consensual sex take many forms, but they have one thing in common: sex really is a drug. The health benefits of sex are well documented for the feel-good sensation caused by the release of many happiness-inducing hormones. These cascade through your body when having a true moment of erotic connection and sexual satisfaction. The intimacy and connection couples enjoy during sex is unlike that of any other coupling, and during sex the brain releases cortisol, dopamine, endorphins, oxytocin and prolactin, causing the waves of pleasure couples feel. Cortisol is a natural stress reliever that will have you feeling comfortably expansive and deeply relaxed, causing you more heart and body openness. Dopamine helps to stimulate your brain’s pleasure centres while endorphins take the edge off any bodily aches and pains. Oxytocin will leave you in

Love IS MADE OF

a state of heightened senses, feeling lighter, seeing brighter and being more empathetic to your partner’s needs and desires. All these hormones ripple through you during sexual intimacy, with the floodgates opening wider after orgasm. In the afterglow, prolactin relaxes you further and when combined with all the other feel-good hormones, will have you blissfully sleeping like a baby in your lover’s arms. The after-effects don’t just last for a few minutes—good sex relieves stress, boosts immunity, improves sleep, heightens mood and decreases the risk of prostrate cancer, heart disease and depression. What is important to note is that by design we are wired to feel good—we are designed for pleasure. We touch on it daily in our experience of many sensory pleasures— decadent chocolate, music that fills your soul, beauty in art and nature, shared laughter, the skin-tingling affect of a lover’s tender caress. It is those moments that open you up, touch your heart and cause you to feel joy and happiness. That is pleasure.

The sweet spot of sexual pleasure is attained through intimacy. Intimacy, from Latin, means “the deepest part”—the “core,” if you will. Sex is one of the ultimate expressions of intimacy. Sexual intimacy is so much more than achieving a climactic moment of orgasm. It is a delicate, deep connective tissue that binds lovers—mind, heart, body and soul. It surpasses bodily pleasures and is a profound experience where you are fully there for each other’s pleasure in an endless moment of rapture. It is that feeling of familiarity of knowing yourselves and knowing each other, exquisitely exposed in the effortless unfolding of lovemaking. Sexual intimacy is an elusive, ever-changing intangible that drives passionate people forward, wanting more. It requires you to pull back the covers, raw and open, with a courageous heart, revealing your secret truths, sensual desires and sexual fantasies. And that is a place of great vulnerability that is as exciting as it is edgy. The promise is one of erotic and ecstatic pleasure.

To expand your sexual practice, consider these tips designed to heighten you erotic sexual play: 1. Understand more of what your partner wants and what turns them on and reciprocate by sharing your deepest desires. Be 100% responsible for your own sexual experience. What teases, titillates and tempts you that you secretly want but resist telling? Share that. 2. T alk before you are actually having sex as any strong “advice-giving” during the act may diffuse the situation quickly. If you do not like something in bed, make it known by subtly moving away and changing things up. 3. Explore sex and your partner’s body as an endless art. True lovemaking is intended to evoke the greatest pleasures for both of you. People’s needs change over time so juicy variety with spontaneity will keep your sex life vibrantly alive and hot. 4. Give consideration to the fact that men and women have very different ways of expressing their sexuality. Some polar opposition is wanted so that you can complement each other. With care, it will lead to wild abandon and ravishment. 5. M aintain eye contact while making love—it is very intimate. 6. Focus more on lengthened foreplay, for it is critical to heightening arousal, sensitivity and responsiveness. Most women hold their tension in their bodies and need help to soften up to deeply relax into sexual pleasure. Men generally seek to release their stress as sexual tension via ejaculation. 7. Experiment with becoming more sensitive to each other by slowing down so that you both can fully feel every nuanced ripple of excitement and pleasure coursing through your bodies. D. Julie Ward, an intimacy and relationship coach, offers deep insight and wisdom in a light-hearted, earthy manner. Her expertise has been showcased in Canada’s #1 magazine – Canadian Living with many other contributions to radio, TV and speaker panels. Visit her @ www.julieward.com 17

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PSYCH DRIVE

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Digital mo(u)rning How the first five minutes impact your whole day By Alley L. Biniarz

My morning routine starts with the simple act of making coffee. It doesn’t take long for the coffee beans to awaken, and in that time I let my eyes slowly awaken with them. I breathe in the sweet cocoa and cherry notes and take in how I feel this morning. My hand twitches its way to my phone, but I resist for another two minutes. The grinds set into their place, and I settle into mine. When feeling this itch of sorts to get to work, I pick up my watering mug and begin filling my plants with their fuel for the day. This visualization of fuelling something else helps me tune in to how I can fuel myself. Today I could see an old friend or read an enchanting article— anything to make me feel unordinary and help me gain something new. Once I’ve set this intention, I migrate back to the kitchen to rejoice in my morning cup. I can sit down at my computer and am ready to take on my day. I feel full, and it only takes five minutes. Our beginning moments are filled with routines that are perfect for us, and something that works for me isn’t necessarily going to work for you. But there is a common thread found in many of our mornings: the urge to check our social media pages. They have become a fabric of our daily routines—for some, they are part of their jobs—making them harder to ignore first thing in the morning. The dependency on social media as a ‘rise and shine’

routine is affecting our mental health and preventing us from finding those successful mindful minutes. Instead of spending five minutes mapping out our days or focusing on our healthy breakfasts, we are disengaged and staring down at our screens within seconds of fluttering our eyes open. We all complain about the ‘lack of time’ in our days, but how much of that time is spent avoiding what is right in front of us, and escaping into the social realm? We don’t feel the effects of social media right away, thinking it only takes up a few minutes of our morning routine. But as the first dose wears off, we find ourselves craving more. It’s a trickle-down effect, and as it drips further into our systems, the hungrier the monster gets. Swansea University explored the effects on the human body when pulling away from social media and found that similar to those who use sedatives or opiate drugs, there was an increase in heart rate, blood pressure, reduced mood and increase of anxiety as people tried to withdraw from their technological addition. There is a physiological response to the lack of social media when it has been used throughout the day. The more we use it, the more dependent we become on it. Though the conclusions are still unclear, the prevalence of these withdrawal symptoms is hard to ignore. 19

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PSYCH DRIVE Letting the social media candy into our daily routine is inevitable, but just as we’ve been taught that we shouldn’t have candy before dinner, letting social media in before we’ve taken some time for ourselves to rise naturally could be a recipe for hopelessness. An Italian study suggests that an early dose of social media can drip into all the wrong emotional spaces, making us more susceptible to negative feelings throughout the day. Even though social media was created with the intention to be a connecter—a medium through which we can speak to anyone in the world at any time—it has become a space of social comparison. Why am I not on vacation like he is? Why are my friends out without me? We are trying to fulfill the basic human need for social connection, but instead are finding that the more time we spend on social media, the more we perceive ourselves to be socially isolated. If seen as a useful business tool or a “sometimes treat” like candy, social media is a wonderful addition to our lives—but does not serve as a meal or social replacement. In connecting with ourselves earlier in the day, we can kick-start our sense of productivity and find time for those meaningful in-person connections. Incorporating a strong morning routine will increase life satisfaction and help provide us with the tools to guide ourselves through the tough moments in our days. We are all busy, and the majority of us rely on the spare moments we have. So, how do we find a balance in our morning practice to connect, to fuel ourselves, and feel like we’re spending our time wisely? The answer is, it doesn’t take long. Just the equivalent of three Facebook Messenger checks and an Instagram scroll. I sat with Teresa Mazzella, a busy entrepreneur who works as a soulful business strategist at Create a Soulful Life, who supports women to rediscover the essence of their soul to build their business foundation. She feels the same productivity tug-of-war within seconds of waking. Teresa wakes with the intention to journal or meditate, but there are mornings where she wants to abandon her practice too. “I send emails, post on Facebook, check off my to-do list…” Her mind buzzes, but she stops herself, resets her focus and reminds herself, “How can I talk to other business owners about taking time for themselves, and not do it myself? “It doesn’t have to be this 30- to 40-minute practice but it can be about setting that intention early in the day. If people do want to check the time or email, there’s nothing wrong with that. Just make the conscious choice after that to make time for yourself. I still have to work

at it, and it’s a conscious effort. Even someone with a strong morning practice will have to work at it. There are some days where you will get sidetracked by life. “Once I bring self-alignment into my day, I feel centred. Only when I am done my morning practice, I check my emails and go about my day.” Social media can wait, but these five mindful morning minutes can’t. In the morning, our minds have hit the reset button, and aren’t tapped out yet. When we fill our early productive brain with excessive stimulants from social media, we open ourselves up to external triggers—ones that we may not be able to cope with. Understanding what our triggers are, how to manage them, and how to replace them with what serves our higher being is the most important learning moment in a morning practice. We can’t completely control what others post, but we can control how we choose to feel when we see those posts. Filling our space with lovely mindfulness techniques is one way to learn about ourselves, according to author Jeffrey Brantley of Five Good Minutes: 100 Morning Practices to Help You Stay Calm and Focused All Day Long. He helps visualize the difference that five minutes can make for our days and motivates even the busiest people overwhelmed with responsibility to be mindfully present for a short period of time. The book’s effectiveness is found in the way Brantley targets the masses, because everyone has a different way of starting their day. So what do you already do in your day that brings you joy, or that fuels you? What can make you feel like you can take on your day in just five minutes? Is it checking off the one item you have looming over you the second that you wake? Is it organizing your week, and setting yourself up for success? Do what serves you first thing in the morning and with intention. This shift in perspective is sometimes all that we need to find purpose in our early moments. When we find what works for us and understand what both drives and depletes us, we will strive through our day. How will you fuel yourself in your first five minutes? D.

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PSYCH DRIVE

Tackling the monster of mind stress By Elan Divon

Stress is lethal—it messes with your body and can disrupt how you feel and function. It can cause everything from breakouts and bleeding gums to strokes, heart disease, stomach problems and for men, erectile dysfunction. Stress can make you forgetful, more fickle and agitated. It will make you gain weight, lose hair, disrupt sleep (which leads to all kinds of other side effects) and generally is an impediment to your happiness and wellbeing. So why don’t we do more to tackle this monster? It’s important to understand what kind of stress you have. There is stress that comes from your mind, and there is a stress that originates from your heart. For now, let’s focus on ‘mind stress.’ Eckhart Tolle says that “All stress comes from resisting the present moment”— namely, wanting to be somewhere else

or do something other than what you are doing right now. And all this resistance to the present moment happens in your mind. Maybe you are sitting in traffic and thinking about all the places you’d rather be—like at home with your kids or on the couch watching Netflix and eating nachos. That’s agonizing, but it’s your mind that’s causing the stress. Or maybe you are thinking about someone who ticked you off at the office, or about a family squabble, a work deadline, or why your husband (or wife) isn’t doing more around the house. Or maybe you wish you were in a different job, or living in a different city… Your mind is constantly thinking, comparing, judging and analyzing, and this takes you away from enjoying what could otherwise be a pleasurable moment. Roughly 90% of your daily stress arrives in this way. And it’s totally unnecessary. 23

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PSYCH DRIVE You have to learn how to give your mind a break, a mini-vacation. As the street artist Banksy put it, “One of the simplest ways to stay happy is letting go of the things that make you sad.” Let’s discover how to do just this. We intuitively know how to deal with stress. In fact every human pastime from sports, to spending time in nature, listening to music or dancing comes from the human desire to transcend the mind and get back into the heart. This is because the heart is the seat of life. It represents your core, your being and the place from which your life energy flows. We are not supposed to live in our minds, which is why every ancient civilization pointed to the heart when referring to the mind. We love vacations because the novelty of our new surroundings gets us out of our mind and into the experience. Vacations force us to live in the now and to escape our usual overthinking. Why do people drink alcohol? Simple: alcohol numbs the thinking part of your brain and connects you to spirit and the feeling aspect of your being. Similarly, sex puts you back in touch with your physical body and gets you out of your neurotic, analytical mind. Try thinking about the boss or your sales targets when you are about to orgasm. Bungee-jumping and extreme sports offer another kind of escape. People love pushing themselves to the edge by standing on a cliff or jumping from an airplane or skiing down a mountain slope. Why? Because the closer you are to death, the more alive you feel. As Joseph Campbell put it, “You and I aren’t looking for the meaning of life. That’s not it. What we are really looking for is the experience, the feeling of being alive.” And so although we are born without an analytical mind, the purpose of growing up is to return to that same place, that same free-flowing state of no-mind, albeit with the understanding, wisdom and knowledge we gain through the world of experience. So if you are feeling overwhelmed by life right now and are experiencing very high levels of stress, here are 11 tips to get you out of your mind and into the moment. Choose any three of these tips and act upon them for at least three weeks (the amount of time it takes for your brain to rewire itself), and you’ll begin to notice real changes.

Nature: By chilling with other beings that are just being, you learn to do the same. Take a walk in the park, or at the beach, or in the forest.

2 Animals: They don’t think; they just are, which causes us to relax when we spend time with them. As a result, cat owners enjoy a 30% reduction in heart attack risk, while stroking a dog boosts the immune system.

Dance: Like nobody’s watching and something beautiful will happen. Your mind will stop dancing and become perfectly still as your body moves to the music.

Sleep: It’s amazing what a good night of sleep can do for you. Your mind needs it. It needs to shut off from the conscious analytical part of your brain in order to reboot. Make sure to invest in a comfy bed and get curtains to block out sunlight so you can sleep longer and deeper.

Laughter: Stress relief from laughter? It’s no joke! Laughter forces you to be in the moment. It’s like a mini–mind vacation. Try laughter yoga, or surround yourself with people who tell great jokes and are lighthearted. It’s contagious.

6 Service: When you serve other people you automatically shift your point of reference from yourself (the mind) to someone else. You are not thinking about your own predicament, but feeling a sense of compassion and empathy toward someone else.

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Sex: Get more of it. Sex will get you out of your mind and into your body fast. (but hopefully not too fast!)

3 7 Music: Close your eyes, put on your favourite track and let the music take you somewhere out of your mind and into a feeling of nostalgia or inspiration or love. There’s simply nothing better to get out of your mind than music.

Exercise: It releases endorphins that are comparable to sex. Get your heart rate up for at least 10 minutes a day, and you’ll start to become more grounded and less neurotic. Physical movement is one of the best ways to manage stress.

4 Meditation: The whole point of meditation is to get you out of your head by concentrating on one thing—and ultimately, nothing. Start by focusing on your breath as you inhale and exhale for a minute a day. Just watch and notice your breath as it goes in and out. Then do this for two minutes, and then three. Simple!

Your quality of life depends not on what you think, but where you live emotionally, day to day. You quality of life is in your heart, not in your mind—it’s how you feel. So if you want to crush stress, you have to start shifting your centre of gravity from your mind to your heart. Stop thinking about your life and start living it. Enjoy it. Because trust me, you will never be as young as you are now.

11 Social media cleanse: Put your cell phones away after 9 or 10 pm each night, and don’t turn it on immediately after you wake up. The Instagram pics of people’s puppies, or yoga poses or yogurt bowls can wait until after breakfast. And if you are really up to the challenge, turn your cell off for a full day on the weekend. It’s what filmmaker Tiffany Shlain calls “technology Shabbat.” Make it a ritual.

Heralded by Deepak Chopra as an emerging spiritual leader for the next generation, Elan Divon is an author, social entrepreneur, speaker and mentor. His approach blends ancient wisdom with proven personal development strategies into a unique system called Initiation. Learn more at www.elandivon.com or follow him on Facebook or Twitter. 25

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PSYCH DRIVE

The ironman

his AIron Maiden DREAM TEAM By Veronique Mandal | Syx Langemann photography

The love story between Windsor’s Ironman finish each other’s sentences and there’s and his wife almost seems like a modern-day a kindness in their demeanour when they speak to each other. Sitting around their take on any number of classic novels. kitchen table in East Windsor on a cold, Lionel Sanders is one of the world’s March morning, they happily share their extraordinary physical humans—an Ironman. story, taking one on an interesting journey It wasn’t always that way—in fact, he might with two young people who are building cringe at being referred to in such a manner— a relationship that evolves with every chalbut few would dispute that description of lenge they face. him. He has weathered personal storms Their lives, now so entwined, took very that would fell lesser mortals, especially those who wander into the wilderness of different early paths. Erin grew up in a closeaddictions from which many never return. ly-knit family, graduated and prepared to Those who do and create a better life for start a lifelong career as a dental hygienist. themselves never do it alone. They need that As a teenager she had good friends and special partner who not only loves them, but there was nothing that set her on a path to who has that unique ability to help create a destruction. But while Erin was leading a partnership that is enduring, withstands all calm, “normal” life, the same couldn’t be obstacles and brings out the best qualities said for Lionel. in each other. Lionel Sanders found that Now one of the top 10 Ironman athletes person in a smart, charming, petite blonde in the world, his early life was consumed he met online. When you meet Lionel and his wife Erin by his addiction to drugs. Growing up in it is obvious they are a team. As people who Harrow, a small community 45 minutes truly understand one other often do, they south of Windsor on Lake Erie, there wasn’t

a lot for teenagers to do but they had plenty of access to drugs. He began smoking marijuana in Grade 8 and increased his use of the drug throughout high school. Despite his drug use and lack of real interest, during his years at Harrow District High School he was a successful runner and captain of the Harrow Hawks cross-country and basketball teams. At the University of Windsor, he enrolled in the environmental science program, having turned down a seat in the human kinetics program, which today he says would have made more sense. He was smoking pot daily and soon graduated to cocaine. He ran for a short time at the university but didn’t make the cut for the cross-country team. A coach—Matt Gervais, who had watched him run in his younger years—told him one day he would be a world champion. “I was a terrible guy—smoking cigarettes and pot and all this crap and this guy said 27

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PSYCH DRIVE this,” said Lionel. “At the time it went in one ear and out the other." Years later, Gervais told Lionel that even then he knew the young man had that unquantifiable It Factor. His drug use caused him drop out of school in second year. He also stopped running. He took odd jobs to pay for drugs and alcohol and worked on the line in an auto plant. When he couldn’t afford cocaine, he popped any form of pill he could get his hands on and sniffed glue and gas. Those were hard days and he made many unsuccessful attempts to get clean. But it was running that would ultimately lead him down the path to sobriety and becoming a super athlete. On a warm November day in 2009 he laced up his running shoes and for the first time in many years, put his body in motion. He looked up the date of the next Ironman race—August 2010 in Louisville, Kentucky—and decided he would be a participant. Some would have thought it foolhardy and even he knew he wasn’t ready, but it was a goal and he was determined. He ran every day and was getting stronger. Then, three months after getting sober, he relapsed. He felt utterly defeated. He didn’t know how to move on. So great was his shame of letting himself down yet again, suicide seemed an option—but standing in his garage during that very dark time he says he thought about his mother. Their bond is really something special. “I knew she’d blame herself if I went through with it and I couldn’t bring myself to do it.” He then knew he had healed enough to be able to pull himself back from the brink. Having moved in with his father, Lionel put the Ironman back on his agenda and started training again. Despite having the odds against him, he completed the course in 10 hours, 14 minutes and 31 seconds. It was truly a new beginning. That new beginning meant continuing a lifestyle change. He was getting more and more serious about triathlon, training a lot and not going to bars where a typical 23-year-old guy would meet women. “I didn’t find anyone in the real world I could connect with. I was just getting out of partying and wasn’t really running into anyone I was super compatible with because I was sort of in limbo.” During a training camp in Tucson, Arizona, in 2011 he logged on to the free dating site Plenty of Fish and entered his profile. Mostly, he said, as a joke with no expectations. In Windsor, another 23-year-old had entered her profile on the same site. Neither of them was attracted to the first people who contacted them. Then one day they found each other. “I messaged him first because he said something about napping. I was 22 at the time and liked napping. And, I thought he was cute and fit,” said Erin, laughing at the memory. “Then, we added each other on Facebook so I thought, okay, he’s real. We talked every day for a month online before we met in person.”

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I didn’t feel any awkwardness whatsoever. The silence was comfortable– it was just nice to sit and just be.

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During those long conversations, Lionel was up front about his past life and addictions. He held nothing back and shared everything with Erin. “Everything was laid out right from the beginning. He was completely honest with me and had nothing to hide,” said Erin. Preparing for that first meeting in person was nerve-wracking for Erin. She told her friends she was going to meet a strange man, and they were worried. They told her she would get murdered. She went anyway. “That first night I went to the house he was living with three other guys on Askin Avenue near the St. Denis Centre,” said Erin. “They weren’t there at the time. We ordered pizza and watched a movie. I felt kind of shy and awkward.” That’s not how Lionel saw it, however. He knew he had found someone very special. “I didn’t feel any awkwardness whatsoever. The silence was comfortable—it was just nice to sit and just be. I really liked her. She is such a sweet girl, kinda shy, and I really liked that.” For their first “official” date, Lionel went all out. “We went to the casino, booked a room and went to The Keg for dinner. I had just finished second at the U.S. national duathlon championship—run-cycle-run—and had my first paycheque of $1,250. I spent the whole thing on an outfit, dinner and the hotel room. Easy come easy go.” A week after that date Lionel moved to Caledon, Ontario, for a summer-long training camp. They began the long-distance romance dance. It did not go well. “I literally called my mom a couple of weeks later crying and telling her, ‘I have to go home, I have to get home to see her,’” Lionel recalls. “But I had no transportation, so Mom drove all the way to Caledon to pick me up and then we drove right back.” It was clear to them both that this long-distance experiment was not going to work. Lionel decided to enroll in classes at McMaster

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PSYCH DRIVE University in Hamilton and took Erin below par, Lionel hoped to join the Varsity with him. swim team at McMaster. But, at the end of a year he had made small improvements “We had been together only three and never did make the team. It was also months and here I was loading up a becoming obvious to him that schoolwork U-Haul with her dad. She really took a leap was keeping him from focusing his time on of faith in me. I was in school again, pretty the thing he loved best: triathlon. During the much a lifelong student at the time. She three years they were in Hamilton he spent became a self-professed sugar mama.” And two months in training camp and was away more laughter. Erin explains she had been competing in races in Arizona and Spain. covering a maternity leave and had nothing to keep her in Windsor. She got a job in “I couldn’t go because we couldn’t afford Burlington and became the breadwinner of it. Lionel was getting OSAP and there were the family. people paying for him to go to the races,” said Erin. “I always felt really bad when I Lionel’s choice of classes was eclectic. couldn’t go.” Between the years he spent at the University of Windsor and McMaster, he studied Lionel’s greatest asset, besides Erin, was environmental science, psychology, neuro- Barrie Shepley, another Harrow native who science and behaviour, math and sociology. had attended the same schools in the town Extremely well read, he often peppers his as Lionel… 25 years earlier. Shepley had conversation with references to include started a triathlon club in Harrow in the Nietzsche and other modern philosophers. late 1970s with 100 people. He says some He and Erin enjoy reading together and of the best athletes in the country came out often read to each other. of those early races. In university, Shepley started the provincial triathlon associaTriathlons require strong swimming— tion—Triathlon Ontario—and was its first knowing his swimming was weak and far founding president, running it out of his

residence room. He also started the Kids of Steel triathlon series, where athletes like Simon Whitfield and Andrew Yorke got their starts and eventually went to the Olympic Games. Shepley became Canada’s first Olympic coach in 2000 and Whitfield won the first Olympic gold medal in the sport. “That gave me a chance to understand sponsors, media and such for Simon and that experience has been invaluable for helping Lionel and Erin,” said Shepley. He has done TV commentary and for more than 20 years has also called major live race coverage all over the world, including Ironman. He has been to all five Olympic Games for triathlon and says he has seen every athlete, from the time they were teenagers to the top of their careers. Lionel, he says, is unique. “Most start as kids in the sport and go through junior ranks, then to developing pro if they are good enough,” he explained. “In Lionel’s case, he had no junior triathlon, very little development

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“I don’t know anyone else who could do what he’s done. It would be like Wayne Gretzky not having played youth hockey or junior hockey but then jumping into the NHL and beating everyone. He is truly, truly exceptional and unique.

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time and essentially raced for fun for 18 months and then straight into long-distance pro. I don’t know anyone else who could do what he’s done. It would be like Wayne Gretzky not having played youth hockey or junior hockey but then jumping into the NHL and beating everyone. He is truly, truly exceptional and unique.” Shepley also had the advantage of observing Lionel during his high school days.

“His running coach, who was my old chemistry teacher, called me and asked me to assist him in Lionel’s training program as a runner,” said Shepley. “He has incredible energy and talent but was not completely focused on using his gifts as he is now. My impression was a very self-determined young man who had incredible willpower and needed some guidance to help his immense talents shine.” Lionel wanted to be a full-time triathlete, but he needed a way to survive financially. Little did he know that kind of help had been set in motion during his race in Spain—a race he didn’t win, ironically. Watching the race that day was Essex County dentist Richard Kniaziew, who had already

sponsored two other talented athletes. Having been involved in the triathlon sport since its inception in the area, Kniaziew was always on the lookout for exceptional young athletes. He saw one of those on the track in Spain.

Shepley told Kniaziew it would take one year to improve his swimming to triathlon level.

“When I consider sponsoring young athletes I look for motivation, attitude and drive. Lionel had tremendous motivation, the right attitude and his drive was phenomHe watched as the athletes continued enal,” said Kniaziew. the six-loop bicycle race. Kniaziew noticed that by the third loop Lionel was three Kniaziew met with Lionel and told minutes behind. “When he appeared, he him he would provide him with a salary of was bleeding and you could see he had $1,000 per month and said he could keep crashed. This is where most people would anything he won in races. But there would quit,” said Kniaziew. “But this kid never gave be stipulations in the sponsorship contract up. He continued the race, then he ran to they signed. the finish line and I thought ‘Wow, this kid has stamina.’” “I told him he had to stay in school and finish his education, be drug-free and Unbeknownst to Kniaziew at the time, stay with Barrie as his coach,” Kniaziew he already had a family connection to explained. “We would provide him with Lionel—Kniaziew’s son-in-law was Lionel’s the best equipment in the world and my former coach, Matt Gervais. son-in-law would provide technical support. When Kniaziew returned to Essex Lionel agreed and has done that, and I am County he called Shepley, who filled him in really proud of him. He has done well and on Lionel’s story. It would be a year before once he started getting noticed, many other he saw Lionel in a bike store and asked him sponsors came on board.” But while Kniaziew was pivotal in what he would need financially to become a pro and what equipment he needed. He Lionel’s career, he is quick to emphasize that knew Lionel’s weakness was swimming, and success belongs to his young protégé. 31

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PSYCH DRIVE “I feel blessed and happy to be able to help someone who is so committed. I remember seeing him in the last four miles of the 26-mile Ironman in Hawaii and I felt his pain. He led most of the way and when he fell back I felt so sorry for him. He worked so hard,” said Kniaziew. “Now he has Erin and she is looking after him and doing a wonderful job. Lionel is one of the best and he should win Ironman next year.”

going on with him. For those who want every statistic and number, they can find it in the meticulous detail he provides on every race, being a numbers junkie himself. Erin is in charge as their social media manager, playing an essential role in communicating with their public and family. She periscopes races so that people can watch them in real time. Lionel is teaching her the elements of coaching and training so that she can write training plans. She is also laying the groundwork for starting their own YouTube channel. They want a more effective way for Lionel to continue helping at clinics with young kids who look up to him.

As a professional, Lionel won his first race in Muskoka in September 2013 and earned $3,000. They celebrated. The next race taught him nothing is a sure bet. Erin and his parents were watching him in the U.S. national championship in Utah in May But Lionel is the business and his perfor2014 when he finished 18th—10 minutes mance on the world stage is why people behind the winner. want to know him. He is an icon in the “I got a flat tire and tasted adversity,” sport because of his triathlon successes and Lionel said. “It was pretty humbling, and his character. It’s something Lionel takes I began to rethink things. Then I went to very seriously, and it does not go unnoticed. a race in Raleigh, North Carolina, in June “Lionel is determined not to cut corners, 2014. Erin sacrificed time off work and drove 12 hours nonstop in her old Pontiac not to take the easy way,” said Shepley. “He G6. I came in second and won $2,000 gets up early, does his training, and tries to and I gained a bit more confidence.” become better today than he was yesterday. Then he adds with a laughs, “On the way Most people, once they have gotten to his home the windshield broke and cost us a level, back off and enjoy being very good. He wants to be the best and that means, sacrichunk of the money.” Lionel realized he did not want to run fice and doing the right things consistently.” any more races without Erin watching. Lionel spends many hours in his baseIn almost 40 races, she has missed only two. “I'd much rather have her there. It’s ment “torture chamber,” where he often hollow when she isn’t, and I don’t want to runs in a room heated to excessive temperago without her. I like to look up and make tures that mimic the heat of Hawaii. In a sure she’s there. It always feels better when specially insulated room Erin clocks him in I know she’s watching. Erin does most of the 17 x 8–foot pool where he is working on the work helping me get ready and I do the overcoming his swimming weakness. They work when the gun goes off.” In May, he will will often work outside with Lionel running and Erin pacing him on her bike. again run the Utah. Lionel and Erin returned to Windsor in 2014 to begin the next phase of their lives and to work on the “business.” They are learning how to do that together, more in sync than ever. Erin’s role is becoming more defined. At home she takes care of his nutrition. She helps answer fan mail, media requests, takes care of his schedule, connects with sponsors and together they brainstorm new ideas, always looking for more opportunities. To understand what drives Lionel and his commitment to his profession, it’s all laid out in his very personal blog. He takes his commitment to his fans very seriously and makes sure they know everything that’s

Erin’s role in Lionel’s life professionally and personally is critical to his success now and in the long term, according to Shepley. He calls them equal partners and says he has seen great athletes fail because of lack of support around them and partners who don’t understand the fatigue, stress and environment required to be great. “Erin is an A++ champ,” said Shepley. “She gets it 100 per cent and knows Lionel’s needs better than he likely knows them. By interpreting what is required to reduce his fatigue and stress, she allows him to train that one per cent harder and recover that

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PSYCH DRIVE one per cent more than his competitors. They are truly a team and the wins on the field by Lionel come significantly from the great support and behind-the-scenes work that Erin does for their team. It’s as good as anyone I’ve seen in 30 years. She does dozens of things that others don’t see so that he can become the best in the world. She understands it’s 50 per cent training, 50 per cent business. “It would have been impossible for Lionel to become as successful as he is, as quickly as he has without Erin.” Erin’s commitment to understanding what Lionel needs is so strong, she did an Ironman with him to experience what Lionel’s work is all about. It’s something she says she will never forget. In 2015 in Montreal, Erin did her hair, took a bottle of water and set out on her bike in the punishing race. Within hours she was crying and laughing and “losing her mind.” She peed her pants and had spit flying all over her face. After nine hours on the bike she couldn’t feel her crotch. Her inappropriate bra was chafing her. She never gave in. Lionel looks at her with admiration and says when he realized he wasn’t going to win in Montreal because he had

“ ”

two flat tires, he thought of dropping out. At would be in trouble,” said Lionel. “I have about that time he passed Erin on the route. so grown in that department and removed from it, it could be taken away and I now “She was crying and I just wanted to ride know I would fine. Even if I don’t win Kona, with her. I had wanted to quit and then I it’s not the end of the world for me.” looked at her doing her best and suffering. On June 29 they will celebrate their I couldn’t do it,” said Lionel. seven months of marriage with family and Erin persevered and was joined on the friends. They are both grateful for the expelast leg of the race by Shepley and his wife riences and good fortune that’s come their Caron, a yoga teacher. It was getting dark way. Lionel’s take on the world is mixed with and they had to wear glowing necklaces philosophy and spirituality. around their necks. “I am thankful to wake up every day, “I officially finished last in that race. so happy and blessed. The worst day in Lionel was there to hand me my medal. an athlete’s life is when you have no one I was hallucinating because I thought to thank. The world is a magical place. we hugged and I fell off my bike,” said Triathlon saved my life. I just want to be Erin. “If I ever did another race I would part of it, to experience it all,” Lionel says. certainly be more prepared. It was brutal.” And what does Erin see when she looks As they prepare for another season of at her husband? She pauses. races, especially Kona in October, and “I see a handsome face, dark hair…” She building their brand, they take nothing for granted. Because of his past addictions, falters, and her eyes fill with tears. Lionel is dedicated to his growth as a person “I see the love of my life. I could not live and making sure his foundation is solid. without him.” “In the beginning I substituted a negaLionel reaches for her hand. “I feel the tive addiction with a positive addiction. Then one day I realized what I was doing same way,” he said. “You have made me a and knew if it was taken away from me I better person. We’re a team.” D.

It would have been impossible for Lionel to become as successful as he is, as quickly as he has without Erin.

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PROFILE