The DRIVE Magazine // Winter Issue 118 by The Drive Magazine

The

DRIVE

ISSUE 118

THESE JEANS

SAVE LIVES GIFT A PAIR

LIFESTYLE | CULTURE | PEOPLE | TRENDS

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The

DRIVE

PAUL ST-PIERRE

Publisher

KEN STEWART

Managing director

DAVID HUNTER

Sales director

SABINE MAIN

Editorial & creative director

MEL MONCZAK

Sales

SHAWNA BEECROFT

Graphic designer

CONTRIBUTORS SYX LANGEMANN Photographer ANTHONY SHEARDOWN Photographer - profiles MARNIE ROBILLARD

Art director

DARK ROAST DIGITAL

Graphic designer

SAMANTHA BOULOS

Beauty stylist, blogger

DANIELLE NICHOLSON Interior designer MONA ELKADRI

Lifestyle blogger

DR. ANDREA DINARDO Psychologist, professor, speaker ALLEY L. BINIARZ

Writer

CHRIS EDWARDS

Writer

SUZY KENDRICK

Writer

TITA KYRTSAKAS

Writer

MILLAR HILL

Writer

MICHELLE LARAMIE

Writer

VERONIQUE MANDAL

Writer

JESSE ZITER

Writer

JEN HALE

Copy editor

On the cover: A story of how one man started a movement to free lives from human trafficking Photography supplied by Outland Denim.

The DRIVE magazine is delivered direct to nearly 50,000 select homes and businesses throughout Windsor-Essex exclusively through Canada Post. Mail subscriptions available. Please email request to: info@thedrivemagazine.com CANADA POST Delivery agreement no. 43497602. Printed in Canada. Owned and operated by the Landscape Effects Group of Companies. 1125 County Road #42 RR#1, Belle River ON, N0R1A0, 519.727.4769 All advertisement content to appear are subject to approval of the publisher and the publication assumes no responsibility for content included. We do not necessarily share the opinion or views of such advertising and assume no liability of this content or messaging.

CONTENTS WINTER 2018

DELISH DRIVE Curry Potato Dish

PEOPLE DRIVE Jenn Sadai

34 CHRISTMAS DRIVE Our Gift ideas for 2018

ift ideas

WELCOME 6 Editorâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Letter TREND DRIVE 9 Local Trends DELISH DRIVE 14 Recipe from Carrots 'N Dates 19 Recipe from Oh So Mona! BOOK DRIVE 20 Keeping Up With Kindness

SOCIAL DRIVE Outland Denim - on Human Trafficking

BEAUTY DRIVE Three Holiday Make-Up Looks

PEOPLE DRIVE 23 Jenn Sadai 30 Michael Difazio CHRISTMAS DRIVE 32 A Christmas Story 34 10 Gift Ideas SOCIAL DRIVE 40 Outland Denim 50 Sole Focus Project 56 Social Enterprise: FSEAP

PSYCH DRIVE 62 Lean into Loneliness BEAUTY DRIVE 66 Three Holiday Beauty Looks HOME DRIVE 70 Holiday Styling Tips MUSIC DRIVE 73 Border City Beat-Maker

EDITOR’S LETTER

kindness begets kindness The DRIVE creative studio recently embarked on a journey to find ways to challenge our thinking, expand our creativity, and grow as a team. We are always interested in how we can improve our publication to our readers and advertisers. The results were simple yet powerful: Design with heart from the heart. Be kind and give a shit. We couldn’t agree more; it’s music to our ears. After all, it’s what The DRIVE embodies. Kindness begets kindness—it’s contagious, and it’s our theme for this issue. We expanded our reach outside Windsor in a few of our editorial pieces in the spirit of sharing how people, near and far, were demonstrating kindness, empathy, and simply put, heart. We hope you will enjoy every story, front to back. Some stories may resonate with you more than others, but no matter what your interests are, the main message remains the same: this holiday, and every day, remember to choose to operate from kindness. As Donna Cameron, author of A Year Of Living Kindly, shared with me for her article, being nice is different from being kind. Kindness asks a lot of us, because there’s risk of rejection. While rudeness and incivility can be contagious, so can kindness. So learn to pause, offer the benefit of the doubt, and be kind. Before I kindly sign off on 2018, we leave you with a word from our president, Paul St-Pierre. Sabine Main, Editorial + Creative Director

It is humbling to realize all that we have accomplished and I am truly grateful for it. The year 2018 was certainly a milestone, not only for The DRIVE but for the entire Landscape Effects Group of companies. We have achieved so much and I am so proud of the people I am blessed to work with each and every day. Specific to The DRIVE, we have built a new, loyal, and engaged audience that has become second to none in this marketplace. Our stories continue to enlighten, entertain, and inspire. Our advertisers continue to see results and are afforded a new and effective media platform in which to invest their marketing dollars. We have built not just long-standing relationships with our readers, our clients, and our contributors but also very close friendships. The community has also opened their souls to us and allowed us a sneak peak at their lives and the privilege to share it. And 2019 will be no exception. As a company we will continue to challenge the status quo constantly and strive to reach new heights. We will raise the bar higher not only for our customers but for ourselves. In both business and personal life today, a perpetual state of improvement is a necessity and we take pride in knowing this daily. As for this holiday season, our #1 core value at the Landscape Effects Group of companies is family. In everything we do we keep this in mind. We build spaces that promote family. We perform duties that allow more time for family. We have venues for family getaways and celebrations. We continue to write stories to inspire family. We celebrate wins and learn from our losses as a family. We thank you for this opportunity and this season we want to wish you the very best. From our family to yours—Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas to all! Paul St. Pierre, President.

SOCIAL DRIVE

Karma Café and Wine Bar is a place for everyone to unplug while sharing stories and cheese platters. The café also features live music from local artists on Fridays, which helps draw in a more diverse age range to the eclectic atmosphere. Located at 12205 Riverside Drive, Karma specializes in coffee, wine, and gourmet charcuterie, specially prepared to order. Their goal is to provide a unique experience for each customer. @karmatecumseh

local

TRENDS Cheers

Hot Spot

Tea Time Windsor Tea Emporium, carrying over 70 blends of tea, is sure to have just the right blend for you. Today we all need to make healthier choices and tea is certainly one of those choices that will make a difference. We believe in the power of tea so much that we recently developed a skin care collection line from our very own teas—all-natural, locally handmade, and vegan-friendly. Do your body good and start with tea. @WindsorTeaEmporium

THEDRIVEMAGAZINE.COM

Enjoy a great addition to any home bar that is perfect for entertaining during the holiday season. The ready-to-serve JP Wiser classic cocktailin-a-bottle is made with quality Canadian whisky, boasting aromas and flavours of honeycomb, orange, and spice. It’s easy to prepare: just pour over ice, add an orange twist if you like, and serve. No need to spend time muddling and stirring when you’d rather be catching up with friends and family! @jpwisers

Extra Virgin Whether fused, infused, or extra virgin olive oil, Cindy’s Home and Garden’s oil selection is a must-try. From crushing ripe olives with whole fresh fruit and herbs, to the first pressing of the olives, the health benefits of olive oil are centuries-old and are too vast to list. A few perks include strong anti-inflammatory properties, large amounts of antioxidants, potential aid in preventing strokes, and protection against heart disease. Cindy’s oil selection is one worth trying—especially during their tasting weekends. @cindyshomeandgarden D.

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PROFILE

The right advice changes everything

RBC has a different approach when it comes to commercial banking. We focus on offering valuable advice tailored to our client’s ever-changing path. We’re not just about products and services. Whether you’re looking to finance the growth of your business, or are exploring options for exiting it, being properly informed can make all the difference to your success. RBC Commercial Banking offers all of the big business benefits to our commercial clients by leveraging our extensive experts and partners, in addition to our core traditional banking products. We offer Group Benefits, Mergers & Acquisitions advice, Business Owner Planning, Your Business 360 analysis, extensive Commercial Cards capabilities, and Beyond Banking services. We’re focused on growth, technology, and mobility and provide innovative, personalized solutions for you and your business. “RBC Commercial is led by our core values to help clients thrive and communities prosper, which is why we’ve built a team of 21 industry-specialized Account Manager experts that are always on hand to help our clients in Windsor-Essex, ChathamKent, and Lambton,” said David Ochs, VP Business Financial Services. “We’re proud to have been recognized with three J.D. Power awards for client satisfaction, advice, and our mobile app, as voted by our clients. We’re confident that our award-winning advice can help the business in our communities become even more successful.” Our process starts with getting to know you and your business. We’ll help identify the risks and challenges you face, and the opportunities you see ahead. Then our advisors will work with you to build a financial strategy to help you grow, mitigate risk, capture opportunities, and plan for the future. RBC Commercial Banking works as your partner, leveraging all of the resources RBC has to offer and providing the financial advice and solutions you need for your business to achieve its full potential.

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DELISH DRIVE

Nurturing a Recipe and Finding Her Heart’s Home AFTER DIVIDING HER HEART BETWEEN TWO COUNTRIES, NEVIANA NEDELTCHEV EXPLORES WHAT “HOME”— AND COOKING—MEAN TO HER By Alley L. Biniarz | Photography: Syx Langemann

Carrots ’N Dates owner, Neviana Nedeltchev, thought about her meaning of “home.” Where was this place she called home? Who was she? There were so many homes, and so much culture wrapped up in her one self. There was no way for Neviana to choose just one place. Each home had left a special mark on Neviana’s heart, and she had no idea that each of these countries would meld with her cooking and define her from that point on. Neviana’s roots weave all the way back to her seaside birthplace of Bulgaria. Until she was nine years old, Neviana’s experience with cooking was connected to the incredible food scene of fresh fish and savoury spices. In the time of communism for most of Eastern Europe, there was no imported food—only what the land offered. Everything used was taken from their land: they grew their own, ate their own, and housed their own animals. “I didn’t know that all of these planted seeds of culture, and recipes and food, and growing up off the land would teach me so much,” says Neviana today.

Her first memories of food happened early on. She first learned by watching and working with her grandmother, who managed a company that fed over 3,000 workers. Neviana paints me a scene of tenderizing meat. Of the smells of Bulgaria. And of course, the potatoes.

it shaped a lot of me. Some for the good, husband here in Windsor, but she is constantly some for the bad, but at the end of the day, pulled back to her roots in Bulgaria. the lessons I learned there shaped me,” she And when it comes to the food at says about those pivotal teenage years. Carrots ’N Dates, it’s half Bulgarian and Still, while living in and loving South half South African. But that wasn’t her Africa, her Bulgarian culture stuck with her. intention. It was just that all of the flavours She and her family cooked Bulgarian food melted together after years of practice. The “I still say, if the world had to end, just at home, celebrated the same holidays, and two countries stayed in her heart, and were leave me with potatoes,” Neviana laughs at Neviana continues to carry this as part of now in her food. the prevalence of this vegetable in Bulgarian her identity. Neviana explains how the two nations dishes. She says the traditional Bulgarian “We visited Bulgaria this past year for an of flavours come together. “A lot of the moussaka is cooked with potatoes, and entire month, and I’ve never felt stronger in Bulgarian savoury spices like paprika, we even their grape leaves are made with dill my being than while I was there. My kids fly in. You can’t buy the savoury of Bulgaria and potatoes. learned the language, my husband opened anywhere here. And South Africa has But living with communism was financially difficult, and Neviana’s father knew their family had to leave Bulgaria. The plan had always been to move to Canada, but they first needed a point system. Neviana’s father did what seemed like the best option for his family and secured a job as a tool and die maker in South Africa. They moved from Bulgaria and soon began their next journey. As a teenager, Neviana was surrounded by food—food that she couldn’t have even imagined while growing up in Bulgaria. The first time Neviana walked into a South African grocery store, she was speechless. “There’s no way this can be true,” were her exact words. Surrounded by the sweet smell of bananas, oranges, papayas, and guava fruit, she was in heaven. These fruits weren’t easily available in Bulgaria. Neviana explains that she received bananas as a Christmas gift once because this treat was so rare for them.

up, and it was just incredible to have some amazing curries, which you can find in our alone time to just be there, in my roots,” curry lentil soups.” she says. Cooking for Neviana means nurturing Eventually, South Africa became too others. It’s a form of art and an expressive dangerous for her family due to apartheid, tool. For Neviana, cooking is an authentic and they finally made their way to Canada. experience and that’s how she likes it to be. But what should have been a dream wound “It’s almost as if the recipes download up being quite difficult for a now twice-dis- into me. If I sit down and really meditate placed Neviana. over a recipe, it just comes naturally to me. “It was very depressing for me, coming I don’t struggle with cooking,” she says. here. I felt depleted and I wasn’t sure why. It Cooking has helped Neviana heal from wasn’t until my thirties that I realized how her trauma of moving, and from the distress much leaving Bulgaria and South Africa had of figuring out who she was. left a tremendous mark on me. Having left “With moving around so much as a my extended family after being so close-knit, child, it’s easy to get lost,” she says. “I sure and to be taken away because of money— did. I got lost in my identity, in asking myself just to lead a better life for my immediate who I was and what I wanted. This happens family—I really lost my way.” so frequently, especially in Canada, where Neviana struggled to fit in, and to find so many of us have moved away from home. her place, even in such a multicultural We truly don’t know how that moving will have impacted us until we learn how to heal. nation as Canada. “It shocked me when someone would I did my healing, and I’m stronger than I ask if I had lived with elephants, or if I had was. Now that I’ve worked through the shoes, or if I even had a bed. I had travelled emotional struggle, I want to guide anyone a lot at a young age and understood the else who may be facing their own battle with world. But people who hadn’t left wouldn’t ‘home’.”

In her new home, Neviana would have to embrace English, Afrikaans, and Zulu as the primary languages in school. It was overwhelming for her, and she even wound have known.” This cold shock to Neviana’s system up in a special needs class. But what she could understand was food. Food was a caused her to take a few wrong turns, and she wound up being a bit of a partier as she universal language. struggled to find her identity. She deeply As her mother worked nights, Neviana missed her friends in South Africa and her was left to cook for her father and brother. family in Bulgaria. She didn’t understand the knowledge that “I don’t know if anyone fully finds their she was gaining until much later, once she place after moving from another country. became a parent. You can ask anybody who has moved away It didn’t take long for Neviana to accli- from their home—you just don’t fit. There’s mate and become fluent in both English a part of you that’s always there in your and Afrikaans. She fell in love with South birthplace. And when you go back to visit, Africa. Her face still lights up at the memory. there’s just something about the place that There would forever be a print of South refuels you, calms you, and makes you feel Africa in her heart that she longs to relive. whole again.” “I have so much love for that country as Neviana lives with her kids and her THEDRIVEMAGAZINE.COM

Neviana creates such unique dishes that really could only be made possible in a multicultural country like Canada. She jokes that she wouldn’t be able to bring a curry dish into Bulgaria, but here, whether it’s Thai or curry, everything is accepted.

Each of Neviana’s recipes comes from her heart, which will always be divided between Bulgaria and South Africa. But the way she brings her heart home is through her cooking. And we’re so lucky to catch a glimpse into her heart through her incredible dishes. Neviana would like to share a dish that expresses both parts of her heart, with a curry potato dish that embodies Bulgaria with a splash of South Africa.

DELISH DRIVE

The three best parts of cooking this dish, in Neviana’s eyes, are: 1. Toasting the spices in the oil: the aroma that comes from this step is amazing. Besides the smell throughout the house, that little extra spice gives you the heat your body needs in the winter months. 2. When some of the potatoes disintegrate into the soup, the dish becomes creamy. 3. W hen the soup cools off, it should become thick and delicious. Neviana recommends smearing it on bread, and topping the sandwich with tomatoes, for an easy lunch. Potato Curry 3 medium onions, chopped 3 ripe tomatoes, chopped 1 Tbsp chopped garlic 3 Tbsps of ginger 1/4 cup avocado, coconut, or grapeseed oil 2 tsps salt 2 Tbsps curry powder 1 Tbsp turmeric 1 tsp cinnamon 6 medium yellow potatoes chopped in large chunks 3 cups water Salt to taste • Sauté onion and salt in oil until the onion is soft. Add curry powder, turmeric, and cinnamon and allow spices to toast for about one minute. • Next, add chopped tomatoes and cook down to a paste. • Add garlic, ginger, potatoes, and water. Salt to taste and let simmer until potatoes are done. (You can add your choice of meat before adding water and potatoes. Simply sauté the meat with all of the ingredients and then add potatoes and water.) When this dish cools off it becomes thick, so adding a bit of water to reheat it helps. It also makes a delicious spread on toast. Enjoy! D.

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The Holiday season is often a time of abundance. But for some families, this same season can be daunting. Many families around Windsor-Essex go without during the Holidays. The advisors at Sun Life Financial Windsor-Essex decided to do something about it. Historically, this financial centre has been known to give back to local charities and foundations. Each year, the advisors gather to decide where their efforts will be best suited. Last year, they wanted their focus to be more local – they wanted the effort to target immediate families within the Windsor-Essex community. The Sun Life Financial Windsor-Essex “Families for Families” initiative gives to four families in need. These donations are purely from the heart of the financial centre - no strings attached. It all started with an idea that sparked from the advisors, where they wanted to build Christmas boxes for families of children in local Windsor schools. The team of advisors then reached out to faculty members to see which families would most benefit from these boxes. From there, four families were chosen, and those families provided the advisors with their list of necessities. Children’s toys, clothing, gift cards for groceries: the advisors began purchasing anything that the parents would need to make their family’s holiday season a special one. This year will be the second annual “Families for Families” initiative, where four more local families, from different schools, will receive their wish list.

“Families for Families” is completely advisor-driven, and entirely advisor-funded as well. It is a special opportunity for the entire team. The advisors pick a day to all shop together, and then wrap the gifts for the families. It just takes a little time management, and a lot of Windsor love. After this holiday season, the advisors at Sun Life Financial’s Windsor-Essex will once again gather to decide where they’ll donate to the following year. They want to ensure that they’re always spreading the joy around the community as much as possible. They have spearheaded other initiatives including a turkey drive at Thanksgiving when they provide food packages for over 500 families. They also had a partnership with Sobeys to help gather over 4,500 bags of food for local families in need. In the past, the advisors have also worked with the Children’s Aid Society and the Downtown Mission. The advisors do this work because they care about our community. They feel fortunate to have the opportunity to give back to a community that they love out of the kindness of their hearts.

Windsor Essex Financial Centre 8255 Anchor Drive, Windsor 519-739-7777 sunlife.ca/windsor.essex Sun Life Assurance Company of Canada is a member of the Sun Life Financial group of companies. ©Sun Life Assurance Company of Canada, 2018.

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DELISH DRIVE

Mona Elkadri is a lifestyle blogger with a fondness for everyday living and entertaining, from sweet recipes to home decor and DIY, and everything in between.

GINGERBREAD HOLIDAY COOKIES Recipe and Photography by: Mona Elkadri

I absolutely love gingerbread cookies around this time of year—they make me instantly nostalgic for holiday seasons gone by. My own memory was growing up in my parents’ bakery, constantly stealing the Smartie buttons and then quickly hiding away to enjoy them before anyone noticed! (Looking back, I’m sure they were on to me.) It was one of many great memories from my childhood that I can’t help but celebrate every holiday season, and it makes me so happy to share my recipe with you. GET THE FULL RECIPE ONLINE www.thedrivemagazine.com/posts/gingerbread-holiday-cookies D.

THEDRIVEMAGAZINE.COM

BOOK DRIVE

KEEPING UP WITH KINDNESS By Tita Kyrtsakas | Photography: Syx Langemann

There is no such thing as a small kindness. want to position myself as an expert.” The This is what Donna Cameron, a Seattle- last thing she wanted to create was a self-help based writer, wants the world to understand. book. “I instead approached it with what I Some action that you may perceive as small observed, what I saw, the questions I asked, and invited people to customize kindness may mean the world to someone else. for themselves. I don’t want to tell other In her newest book, A Year of Living people how to live,” she explains. Kindly: Choices That Will Change Your Life Writing a book and actively being kind and the World Around You, Cameron builds may seem like a daunting project, but on the blog she started in January 2015. She Cameron had years of experience. tells me she has been actively committed to being kind for 20 years. What does that She was inspired by her lifelong career mean? Aren’t we all sort of kind? working in nonprofit organizations, and The difference for Cameron is that she’s was particularly intrigued by volunteers who actively aware of being kind. She always didn’t have to volunteer but were doing so felt wonderful around kind people. “You out of a deep need to help people. feel special. Kind people have an aura that makes you comfortable, and I thought, I want to be like that. Kind people go out of their way. They don’t care if it’s an inconvenience. They look for the kind response.”

“They loved the cause they worked for and that’s kindness in action—caring beyond the paycheque, giving your time and energy to an important cause.” She feels blessed to have had a career where she was surrounded by people all the time. When people work with each other and make the world a better place, a collaborative kindness is created where communities are built and can give goodness to the world.

For years, Cameron would say she wanted to be kinder. But those bad days would come, and the kindness would “sputter out.” Launching her blog and writing this book made her accountable. If she stopped writing or began to slack off, her Now, Cameron is using her passion and friends would notice. So she blogged every writing skill to contribute kindness to the Wednesday and increased her followers, world. And like in anything else, everyone who then encouraged her to write a book. starts somewhere. “I hesitated for a while because I didn’t 20

Cameron has written professionally for

years for her clients, but she started writing when she was young. “My parents instilled a love of reading in me,” she says, and she believes that her love of reading was a gateway to her love of writing. She thinks of her sixth grade teacher, Mr. Edward Allen, every day. “He encouraged me and said, ‘You need to keep writing, Donna. You’re good at this.’ I bless him for inspiring me to do something I love. Every Monday, he would assign a writing assignment for the week, which we had to take home to work on. It was my favourite thing. Nearly everyone else hated it. I couldn’t wait to work on that project.” It was Mr. Allen’s kindness that helped pave the way for Cameron’s career in writing. A small assignment; a world of difference. But why is it hard to be kind? Cameron explains that, “There are different barriers for all of us. It can be intimidating. We don’t know what the reaction is going to be. Our kindness might be rejected or misunderstood. It puts us out where we’re noticeable and a lot of us were raised with the admonition not to draw attention to ourselves, to just go with the flow.” There is a risk when it comes to kindness, like speaking up when others stay silent, or “standing up when everyone else stays seated.” Not to mention the world we live

BOOK DRIVE in now, with our phones glued to our hands. “Our eyes are on our handheld devices or we are so focused on our own internal drama that we don’t notice what’s happening around us—that there is somebody behind us whose arms are full and we could open the door for them, or a child who just wants some attention. There are so many easy ways to express kindness.” Another challenge is that people think kindness needs to be a sweeping, grand gesture. “We think, if my next-door neighbour is sick, I need to make her a four-course dinner and buy her flowers, but that’s not needed. You can just heat up some soup and bring it over.” This goes back to the action of a small kindness. “We neglect to do them because they’re so small. We think it’s not going to matter if I say good morning to the barista, but it does matter. Little things do make a difference. Someone may not notice if you don’t do it, but they’ll notice if you do.” Cameron, a lover of research, has found that “there have been a lot of studies at different universities about kind business cultures and the health benefits of kindness. Kindness alleviates chronic pain and social anxiety. You live longer. There are so many benefits that have been measured.” She

writes in detail about these studies on her blog, and her goal now is to spread an epidemic of kindness. “Research has found that unkindness and incivility are contagious. Like a cold or a flu, you pass it on to others. It causes us to be ruder or more unkind in our next encounters. And that explains the world right now. Kindness is a catalyst for more kindness, consideration, compassion, and respect towards people,” she articulates. The toxic behaviours of others in our world right now, politicians or pundits, “won’t be tolerated” and Cameron plans to make that understood in a kind way. Cameron knows she’s not a “paradigm of kindness.” She still gets cranky. But she stresses “no one is perfect at this, and that’s okay. You have to be kind to yourself too.” Cameron’s husband sees her at her best and worst. I wondered if he noticed Cameron being kinder, but she actually explains his own understanding that he’s kinder. “If he sees an opportunity he jumps in and helps.” She’s rubbing off on him. Kindness is contagious, and Cameron recognizes that some “people think kindness is weak. That kind people are pushovers and easily manipulated. I think kind people are

the strongest among us because they are willing to be kind in the face of rudeness.” With the holidays approaching, Cameron offers some advice on how to promote kindness during the colder, busier season: “Some may not welcome the season. We don’t know what’s going on in other people’s lives. The holidays may revive sad feelings, or make people feel left out, or they can’t afford to participate. Ramp up empathy. “Give ourselves the gift of self-care and compassion, because this time can be stressful. Forgive yourself when you can’t do everything you want. “Finally, stop keeping score. I remember two women behind me in Starbucks, comparing what their boyfriends were giving them for Christmas, comparing past gifts—gifts are not a measure of how much someone loves you. I ran into a woman who tracks Christmas cards, so not to send one out to a person that doesn’t send to her. We all keep score in different ways. Learn to receive graciously.” If we can all practise being more actively kind, perhaps we can take that mindfulness into the New Year, and well into our lives. To read Cameron’s book, find it online. D.

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PEOPLE DRIVE

Page Turner: Author Jenn Sadai’s Extraordinarily Ordinary Journey HOW ONE WINDSOR WOMAN IS WRITING A BRIGHTER FUTURE—FOR HERSELF AND READERS AROUND THE GLOBE By Jesse Ziter | Photography: Syx Langemann

Jenn Sadai seems happy. It’s a calm Saturday morning, and one of Windsor’s busiest writers is perched attentively on the corner sofa in her Walkerville living room. Everything appears to be in its right place in the lovely, ordinary home, which she shares with her husband of 12 years and their two black labs: Thunder and Brewin. A self-described “crazy dreamer,” Sadai is a remarkably prolific author. Since 2014, she’s written and published five books, all of which are currently available as trade paperback and eBooks from Amazon and Indigo. Sadai’s oeuvre spans genres and often resists categorization, but the author herself often divides the works into informal “series”: self-esteem-focused non-fiction and “The Survivor Series” of novels. All of the works are relatively slight volumes with simple, stock-photo covers and idiomatic titles. Superficially, they’re brisk, easy reads, but their approachability often masks a heart of darkness. Refreshingly, “Author Jenn Sadai” makes conversation notable for its surprising lack of pretension. In person, Sadai is warm and personable, but frequently deferential 22

or even bashful. “Grateful” is probably the sales and hospitality jobs. “My uncle was best word. diagnosed with leukemia. The first day I You can imagine that once upon a time, went to go see him in the hospital, I asked about what was going on with him, but he things would have been different. kept turning it back on me: Why are you so Sadai debuted with the memoir Dark stressed with your job? You’re supposed to be Confessions of an Extraordinary, Ordinary a writer. Why are you doing this? Woman in 2014. The incredibly honest “I quit my job the next day.” book traces its author’s knotty path out of violence, crime, and addiction. Writing had been at the back of Sadai’s mind since childhood. By grade eight, she Here as elsewhere, Sadai writes in had been invited to attend an exclusive clean, tidy prose, largely free of affect writer’s workshop with a local author; the and punctuated with a number of vivid experience produced a short story, which details and achingly specific memories. was put in print and catalogued in the Nakedly, almost shockingly confessional, local library system. “I don’t know if it was Sadai’s snappy, declarative sentences are maybe an innate gift that I had, but writing typically organized into short, neat passages was important to me, and something that marshalled in unconventional bursts by italiI excelled at,” she relates. “At a very young cized single-sentence paragraphs. age, grade three or four, I remember writing The book chronicles Sadai’s parents’ a poem that a teacher put on the wall. And divorce; her upbringing by an immature, when you feel that you do something well, emotionally absent, and overworked young you want to pursue it.” mother and her abusive, obnoxious partner; Sadai initially turned to Elance, an a free-range childhood that saw her dipping online staffing platform that facilitated into her father’s alcohol cabinet by age 11; a connections between businesses with preteen friend’s alcohol-poisoned convulsing specific needs and freelance contractors. “I fit; flirtations with low-level drug dealing; had used it a year and a half prior to make two close brushes with guns; and the birth a little side money doing copywriting,” she of a longstanding cannabis addiction—all explains. “When my uncle inspired me to before the protagonist’s 17th birthday. do this, I went online and bid on 12 jobs. It gets darker, still. By the next morning, I’d landed six. And We witness two suicide notes; a bout by the next day, I had two more. So, I had with severe hyperthyroidism portending some work pending, and thought ‘this is Graves’ disease and congestive heart what I’ll do.’” failure; a problematic relationship with At the same time, Sadai was engrossed food and body shaming in light of wild by Elizabeth Gilbert’s memoir Committed. weight fluctuations; and several long, “It reminded me of my own story—what I contemplative treks down Riverside Drive. went through and how that could possibly At one stage, the narrator’s heart stops in a help others,” she relates. “I got the idea that Las Vegas hotel room. I wanted to tell my story, and it snowballed.” Much of the book catalogues a confiSnowballs don’t always roll easily, dence-shattering seven-year tryst with though; it’s important not to elide Sadai’s “Shane,” a mentally ill addict and abuser hard graft. In a world where almost anybody wrought with paranoia and delusions of can put their name on a softcover, being an grandeur. The reader endures episodes of author is harder work than ever. For entreescalating domestic violence bordering on preneurial, workaday writers like Sadai, attempted murder. Since 2003, Sadai has bookselling is all about the hustle. been entirely free of him, save for passing Not coincidentally, Sadai has a him at a bus stop, like a lingering ghost from background in buying and selling. She her past. studied business marketing at St. Clair We’re getting ahead of ourselves, though. College and worked in advertising for a spell. Sadai didn’t become a published author until In that world, her success as a copywriter led well into her fourth decade of life. Then, in to success in the sales world—a regrettably 2012, she took a leap of faith. more lucrative line of work. She’s also spent “I was totally not pursuing writing and some time as the food and beverage manager hadn’t written in years,” relates Sadai, who for a golf course. Currently, during the day, estimates she was putting in 60 or 70 hours she’s an industrial buyer for an industrial a week at the time working a handful of distribution company. THEDRIVEMAGAZINE.COM

Starting with her debut, Sadai has enjoyed what she calls a “blended publishing” arrangement with Little Creek Books, an imprint of the small Tennessee-based press Jan-Carol Publishing. The humble woman-run publishing house specializes in stories of female empowerment. It’s fair to say it would be nigh impossible for Sadai to do what she does without the marketing muscle afforded by an online presence that spreads out across Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, Goodreads, and even YouTube, where her “flawed fitness” series is building momentum. “You’ve got to constantly put yourself out there,” she stresses, “because selling books is not easy. I’d be lost without social media.” Today, about 80 per cent of her sales are in the U.S., and she has a loyal local following, but Sadai’s prose has flown as far afield as Australia and China. Her 4.68-star average on Goodreads, across 130 reviews, is legitimately impressive by any standard. While her books are available at Storytellers Book Store on Ottawa Street and Indigo in Lakeshore, much of her local sales are mediated the old-fashioned way. To this day, Sadai keeps a few boxes of paperbacks in the trunk of her car. She has some deliveries scheduled after our interview. In 2015, one year after her first book, Sadai penned and published Dirty Secrets of the World’s Worst Employee. Another memoir, it traces the years before Sadai found writing. “It delves into the many mistakes I’ve made, the countless challenges I’ve faced along the way, and the priceless lessons I learned,” says the author. In 2016, Sadai continued to write from her experience with Cottage Cheese Thighs, a self-help study in body positivity with a large helping of autobiography. The 2017 novel Her Own Hero represents Sadai’s first foray into fiction. The book tells the story of a down-on-her-luck showgirl who becomes embroiled in a torrid relationship with a Spanish stranger who is not quite what he seems. No Kids Required, released earlier this year, is a non-narrative self-help volume that profiles 20 women who’ve chosen not to have children—including some of the author’s friends and family members. It’s marketed as “an honest and insightful story about respecting one another’s choices and living life on your terms.”

'CHICKS WITH STICKS' floor hockey team

Sadai hopes to have a completed manuscript for her next book, Her Beauty Burns, ready for editing by the time you read this. Assuming a typical two-month turnaround time, it should hit shelves in February. Her sixth volume, it marks a return to the fictional world assembled for Her Own Hero. “It’s more of a psychological thriller,” notes Sadai. “It follows the character Kaitlyn; the only thing we know about her is that she has scars from a fire. So now I’m writing her entire journey, from high school. I’ve had to create this entire character, this life.” A lifelong reader, Sadai cites among her influences Elizabeth Gilbert, the American author best known for the wildly successful 2006 memoir Eat, Pray, Love. “I tend to read a lot of crazy memoirs,” she explains. “I like finding books from lesser-known authors and exploring the challenges that they overcame—things that are going to make me pumped up to write similar stuff.”

for having doubts and insecurities. Let’s overcome them and move forward. The goal is not to silence those thoughts but learning how to proceed in spite of them. I think an empowered woman is one who, despite all those things going on inside her head, still has the courage and confidence to act.” Since releasing her life’s story into the world, Sadai’s noticed it’s a lot more ordinary than she once might have expected. She’s received correspondence from well over 100 readers—the vast majority of them women— hoping to share their similar stories with a sympathetic soul. To the best of her ability, Sadai encourages them to seek conversations and connect with community resources. “I try to show them life can be so much better,” she stresses. “I use myself as an example. If I knew that this life was possible back then, it would have been so much easier to fight on and continue. I try to give them hope.”

In one way or another, all of Sadai’s While this guidance from a distance is writing investigates female empowerment. often invaluable, some readers inevitably Much of it takes on a certain new resonance fade back out into the wider world; the in a post-#metoo world. emails dry up, the stories unresolved. “That “As women, we are inside our heads a used to upset me a lot, if somebody stopped lot,” Sadai reasons. “We have these doubts, responding,” says Sadai, “but I’ve had to these insecurities, and we second-guess learn to be okay and to simply hope she’s ourselves. We have so much going on inside safe; I can’t get so emotionally invested in that makes us hesitant and slows us down. every person who messages me.” What I’ve done with my books is taken all While her mother struggled somewhat those thoughts from my head and put them to come to terms with the release of the first on paper. There’s nothing wrong with you book, the response from Sadai’s friends and 24

family was, eventually, positive. “Over time, the book actually opened up a lot of dialogue I didn’t expect,” recalls Sadai. “Even some family members and close friends I’d known my whole life reached out to me because they were going through something similar to my experiences. I had no idea. I didn’t find that people were judgemental or embarrassed by the things I shared. It opened up conversations that I think were necessary. The first book introduced me to a whole survivor community. I made a whole new group of friends and essentially gained an advocacy network.” Part of writing is advocating for oneself. At one evocative point in her first book, Sadai pulls into a parking lot, having fled the scene of an attack, to write poetry. Then, as now, writing comes to represent the best available form of therapy. “I think the books have helped me more than anybody else,” she shares. “I used to have a lot of nightmares, flashbacks, and paranoia about the past, but I can’t remember the last time I freaked out the way I used to. It’s kind of like I needed to get it all out there, and writing was my way of letting it go. A lot of that stuff doesn’t bother me at all anymore. And that’s what I hope it does for other people too. “There were definitely some harder sections to write, which brought out some memories,” she recalls. “My technique for the really hard parts was to start with bullet points. I would just jot down the facts of

PEOPLE DRIVE what happened, and slowly, when I’d be editing through, I’d start forming them into sentences. And the next time I’d kind of build it more. So, it grew slowly into it, so I wasn’t deep into the moment.” Sadai’s writing process, in general, is as deliberate as it is successful. She doesn’t really do writer’s block. “I do set deadlines for myself, but I’m very fortunate,” she acknowledges. “I’ve never even known where the inspiration comes from; I start writing, and it just goes.” That said, finding time for this spontaneous outpouring can still be tough. Sadai authored her first book, and about half of her second, while on something of a self-created sabbatical from work, but she no longer enjoys the luxury of writing during business hours. “I make time for downtime,” she articulates. “I’m very persistent about that, because I have to be very disciplined. The first 10 years my husband and I were together, before I started writing, the kids were here 24/7, and it was chaos,” recalls Sadai, whose husband brought four children, all of whom are now over 18, into her life. “You learn to juggle a million things at once.” While the current phase of Sadai’s life appears calmer, certainly, it still manages to skirt conventionality: at 39, she is an empty nester. At the end of the workweek, Sadai now enjoys what she calls “Friday Night Writes”: while her husband is out of the house on a regular bowling date with his mother, she seizes the opportunity to bang out a few pages. She also tries to fit in a couple hours of composition after her Saturday morning coffee. On Sundays, she steals a moment or two in the afternoon to retreat into her mind on her backyard patio, or, in the colder months, in the living room recliner I’m currently occupying. “I have an official-looking writing studio upstairs, but it’s more of a hard chair,” she laughs. “I like to be comfy.” Sadai expects to be more comfortable in the future. As you’d expect, she has a plan. Still in her thirties, she intends to maintain her current book-a-year pace until her 50th birthday. “By that point, I retire from my day job and I pursue this full time,” she shares. “I’m working with an investor and everything so I will have a nice nest egg. Then, maybe two books a year!” This is not hyperbole. Sadai insists she’s already begun book seven in earnest, and she has working sketches for her eighth, ninth, tenth, eleventh, and twelfth volumes. THEDRIVEMAGAZINE.COM

PEOPLE DRIVE Her next nonfiction volume, book seven, will be titled Women Ready to Rise. Sadai plans on profiling well over 20 women from around the English-speaking world, each of whom has survived a physically or emotionally trying challenge. So far, the nascent volume’s subjects include a gun violence survivor and gun safety advocate and a young woman living with multiple sclerosis. To me, also a sort of writer, the self-belief such a pursuit must require is remarkable. But Sadai’s outward strength does conceal some amount of writerly self-torment; she is an author, after all. “I have doubts before each new book comes out, even when I know that the one before did well,” she reveals. “I think I call myself ‘extraordinary, ordinary’ because I didn’t ever really think that my story was unique or would be successful. It’s growing that way, I think, because it’s so relatable. It is unfortunately very common that people go through experiences like I have. I realize even more so now that the books are out that this is a sad reality for young women—and young men.”

J. Amlin Photography

When Sadai isn’t writing, you can often find her running, but no longer from anything. In 2009, Sadai was 50 pounds overweight and in the throes of a half-pack-a-day cigarette habit. Within six months, she crossed the finish line of her first half-marathon 20 pounds lighter and smoke-free. One year later, she’d worked her way up to a full marathon, shedding 20 more pounds in the process. “That started building my confidence level,” recalls Sadai, who continues to keep fit by running and playing floor hockey, both of which help to offset her enthusiast’s interest in craft beer. “That feeling of doing something that’s so challenging, that so few people have done. It was also about getting healthy and feeling better about myself.” She could easily be talking about writing; such is the unique sort of delayed gratification and very specific relationship between pain and pleasure with which every author and runner is all too familiar. “When you’re putting in all that work, training, and effort,” muses Sadai, “you never really have any idea whether you’ll be successful. You have to believe in what you’re doing and want it badly enough to follow through and make sure you’re successful.

Gather

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“That finish line is not a guarantee.” @jennsadai

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be the eye-drawing supporting beam of a bar. Have any old, unwanted doors lying around? He’ll fix them up and bend them in half to form a coffee table. It started on a random day: Michael Difazio was driving down an average Windsor street, but instead of seeing the curbside garbage as trash, he couldn’t help but see possibility. Sitting in front of him were discarded items with an untold story, a history that deserved more than this anticlimactic end. His gateway drug was window frames. “I just loved the patina of them,” says Difazio. “I remember bringing them home to my mom’s house, where I lived at the time, and she yelled at me for collecting junk. I had only three tools to my name, but I had an idea.” patina (pron. pƏ'ti:nƏ) • the surface appearance of something grown beautiful especially with age or use The unwanted window frames were given some TLC and turned into window mirrors, with reflective glass installed behind the original frame. Difazio, a first-year student at St. Clair College’s woodworking technician program, held an art show to unveil his creations to the world. Only one sold, but he did earn his first commission job. “From there, everything started happening really fast,” Difazio says.

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MICHAEL DIFAZIO GIVES UNIQUE NEW LIFE TO CASTOFF FINDS By Suzy Kendrick | Photography: Syx Langemann

Every year, around the holidays, you’ll often catch the 1964 classic Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer playing on TV. In this stop-motion animated special, Rudolph finds himself on the Island of Misfit Toys, where unloved or unwanted toys live. Their ruler is a winged lion named King Moonracer, who brings the toys to the island until he can find homes and children who will love them.

a reclaim artist • someone who builds furniture and art pieces out of older materials that which no longer serve the purpose in which they were originally built for

The old adage “one man’s trash is another man’s treasure” couldn’t be more applicable than to the creations that are dreamed up and brought to life inside Difazio’s Drouillard Street studio. Giving life to the unwanted and forgotten, this space is where the spoils Michael Difazio is the King Moonracer of of hours spent “alley surfing” come to discover Windsor, but instead of toys, it’s trash; instead their new purpose. Difazio has transformed an old bathtub of children, his customers are reclaim enthusiasts, including billionaire Barry Zekelman. into a quirky couch. He manipulated a bike to 30

Getting nostalgic, Difazio remembers his first woodworking shop. It was in his Nonno’s dilapidated garage on the west side of Windsor. While the room was rent-free, he laughs recalling that he had to compete for space with the squirrels living in the attic. As business feverishly picked up pace, Difazio was eventually driven to lease an entire building in Ford City. He had grown up not far from the area and always had an underlying desire to have a presence there. The address 1023 Drouillard Road became the new home for Michael Difazio Reclaim Artistry; not just the business but also the man himself. Difazio lived upstairs in one of the two apartments. A self-proclaimed busybody, when he wasn’t working on commissioned jobs in the shop below, he completely gutted and renovated his 1200-square-foot apartment above. Difazio received many accolades and congratulations for his progress and growth, but he also had to deal with confused looks and constant questioning about his choice to move into Ford City in the first place. “Ford City used to be in the news all the time and not for good reasons,” he says. “If you were walking around on the street, gangs would jump you. It was gnarly down here. It was like the Wild West.”

Fear never being a deterrent and risk a concept absent from his mind, the troubled past and unknown future of Ford City only intrigued him further. “The neighbourhood is actually amazing,” Difazio says. “This is my own little slice of heaven and so much different than what people expect.” Much like his creations. The self-proclaimed “loudest” person to invest in the area, Difazio says he believes Drouillard Road has come a long way from those crazy, crime-filled days. The biggest problem in the area currently, he believes, is negligent landlords who have no vested interest in maintaining or improving their properties. He’s on a mission to change that as part of the Ford City Neighbourhood Renewal.

“In a nutshell, the essence of creativity is to look at the world around us, see how it is and imagine other possibilities that are not immediately present or based on our immediate personal experience. Creativity is seeing the possibilities and then trying to make those imaginings into material reality.” —Agustín Fuentes, The Creative Spark: How Imagination Made Humans Exceptional In the book The Origins of Creativity, Edward O. Wilson writes that creativity is “the unique and defining trait of our species.” It’s an inherently human characteristic that separates us from all other living beings on earth. Wilson defines creativity as “an innate quest for originality.” If that’s the case, Difazio should adopt it as his tagline, especially when it comes to his “Elephant in the Room” Projects. “The goal is to create something wild and crazy every month,” says Difazio. “We’ve always had the same idea to create one-of-a-kind unique pieces that people design the room around. You can’t ignore the elephant in the room and people will remember your house because of it. It’s a talking point.”

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But, no matter what he creates, Difazio says he likes to build furniture that people can put their feet on without fear of marking it up. “Markings to me tell stories,” he says. “A brand new table has no past. That’s why I love what I do. I love history.” What is usually the most frequently used and lovingly marked-up piece of furniture in the home? The dining table. Fitting that they are Difazio’s favourite pieces to design. “It’s the heart of the house,” says the Italian-raised Difazio. “You had the bad times and good times there. You’d do your homework. Eat there. It’s the centre of home.” Many of Difazio’s motivations can be dated back to his childhood, including his passion for recycling. He says he’s always felt a responsibility to reduce his carbon footprint. Even in high school, he used his own money to put recycling bins in the building. What teenage boy do you know who would use their own cash to fund the greater good? It takes a special soul to see beyond oneself, especially at a young age. “Back in the day, things were built so well so you wouldn’t have to buy it again,” he says. “The economy now is based on throwing things away. I’ve always just had this weird sense to do something about it. That’s why my creations are built to last.” Want to check out some of Michael’s work in the wild? He’s done projects at Frank’s Brewery, Parks & Rec Gastropub and Sports Bar, and Grand Cantina. Online you can see his full portfolio, including commissioned projects via www.michaeldifazio.ca. In real life, visit his storefront and workshop at 1023 Drouillard Road. D. THEDRIVEMAGAZINE.COM

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The Christmas of 1932 was a snowless one, and not as cold as one would expect at that time of year. In mid-afternoon of Christmas Eve, my brother Joe, my sister Olga, and I were sitting on the front steps of our rundown house, which was badly in need of a paint job, doing nothing in particular except talk about Christmas. When I mentioned I hoped Santa Claus would bring me a hockey stick and a Snakes and Ladders game, Olga piped up, “Santa Claus doesn’t come to poor people’s houses.” By Stanley Scislowski Photography Roberto Nickson

This shook me to the core. “How come?” I exclaimed.

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CHRISTMAS

CHRISTMAS DRIVE

“Because,” Olga answered, “He just doesn’t come to poor people’s houses.” Blunt, but true. Our father had died earlier that year, and money was tight. Strangely, for a lad as young as I was (nine) I thought about it for awhile, and then came to terms with it. “If that’s the way it is, then that’s the way it has to be,” was my outlook. While we sat there in cheerless conversation, a truck drove up and stopped in front of our place. A man came up the sidewalk and thrust out a clipboard with a sheaf of papers on it for Olga to read. He pointed a finger at a name on the top page and asked if this family (ours) lived here at 1554 Parent Avenue, to which Olga nodded assent. The man turned around and hollered to the two men standing amidst a load of bushel baskets, “Okay, fellows, let’s go!” Three men carrying two bushel baskets full of groceries, candies, and other Christmas goodies, along with a large basket of meat and a plucked goose, started up the sidewalk. With the excitement only kids our age could display at being handed something good and special, we followed Olga as she directed the men around to the back entrance. The largess was deposited on the kitchen floor, to the surprise and tearful enjoyment of my mother. The Goodfellows of Windsor had come through at the last minute and had delivered Christmas to the Scislowski/Hedgewick household, precisely when the prospects of a Merry Christmas appeared so bleak. Some kind soul in the neighbourhood had submitted our names to the Goodfellows, and we were well on the way to having a Christmas celebration that would be enhanced by events in the wee small hours of the morning when we were tucked away in our feather-tick beds sound asleep. Since Olga had said Santa would not be stopping at our house, I had no intention of waking up bright and early on Christmas morning. We had no tree set up and no decorations anywhere in the living or dining rooms. It would be just another day for us except for the traditional Christmas goose dinner with all the trimmings my mother could now prepare. And so, on Christmas morning while I was deep in some dream long since forgotten, my brother Joe brusquely shook me awake, “Stan, Stan, come and see what Santa brought you!” It took a few seconds to get my wits about me before I leaped out of bed, almost ran into the Quebec heater (an upright wood and coal stove), and entered the front room, as we called it. Before my dancing eyes floated balloons and multicoloured garlands hanging from the ceiling. But best of all, there was a three-foot decorated Christmas tree set up on a table in the corner, with brightly wrapped boxes of gifts from Santa around it! I nearly jumped out of my skin when I spied the hockey stick standing by the table with my name on the tag, “To Stanley, from Santa.” And, yes, there was also a Snakes and Ladders game. To say our household was filled with excited shouts and squeals of delight and merriment was to describe it in the mildest of terms. It was joy beyond joy and it had arisen out of adversity. The Christmas tree, the presents, and decorations had come from the hearts of my oldest sister Annie and my oldest brother Peter, both of whom somehow put enough nickels, dimes, and pennies together from their meagre earnings—Annie from her housecleaning jobs and Peter from his door-to-door selling of Persian rugs and Kirby vacuum cleaners, and what he made at his caddy jobs in the summer. When they talk about the magic of Christmas, I imagine this scene is what they mean. Stanley Scislowski was born in Windsor in 1923. He has written extensively on his war experiences and life in Windsor during the Depression. His book, Not All of Us Were Brave, was published in 1997 by Dundurn Press. D.

Story provided by: Chris Edwards is the owner of Walkerville Publishing, along with his partner Elaine Weeks; their latest book is 5,000 Ways You Know You’re From Detroit. https://www.detroit5000.com

CHRISTMAS DRIVE

1 Clyde Hatch Women’s Sleepwear Sleep is better when it’s comfortable! P.J. Salvage is a California contemporary-lifestyle brand specializing in luxury essentials and the pursuit of a comfy, casual lifestyle. Starting at $99 352 Manning Road, Windsor. 519. 979.2828

ift ideas

Pure Day Spa: Gift Card Give the gift of ‘self-care’ this holiday season. Join your friends or allow them a day of peace and calm. The most elegant present for everyone on your list. 1614 Lesperance Rd., Unit E1, Tecumseh. 519.735.0101 3001 Dougall Ave, Windsor. 519.915.8070

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Ocean Bottom “Holiday Survival Pack” Get through the many dynamics of your festivities with our Holiday Survival Pack. Includes: 7 custom essential oil blends packaged in our sustainable packaging. $54.99 1614 Lesperance, Tecumseh 226.676 0228

BVogue Boutique: Oblique Creations Leather Necklace Escape your comfort zone and let this exclusive “Oblique Creations” necklace bring a leather edge to your holiday look. Be bold. Be brave. BVogue. $130.00 1614 Lesperance, Tecumseh 226. 676.0105

CHRISTMAS DRIVE Yoga Life With Gina: Yoga and More... A perfect gift for that special someone in your life. Work with Gina and learn how you create a life that fills you up mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

La Rucola Enjoy time with family and friends this holiday season. Stop by for traditional Italian fare, brick-oven pizzas, delicious desserts, and a fine wine selection. A perfect gift when quality is the gift you want to give.

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At Ease Men's Apparel 100% Baby alpaca scarves Get wrapped up with the perfect winter gift. These incredibly soft scarves are imported from Peru. Over 50 colours and designs to choose from. $95 on sale, available until Dec. 31st.

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Frank Brewing Company Straight-up beer: choose our custom six-pack carriers. Perfect for the craft beer enthusiast in your family. Handmade right here in our brewery. $24.95, available Dec 1st.

7 On The Green There are a 1,001 reasons to give a gift but only one reason to give “The Gift of Golf”: you care. Gift cards can be used for simulator golf, mini golf, volleyball, food, drinks, and even golf lessons! Various prices. 354 Croft Drive, RR #1 Tecumseh 519.735.9558

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The Cheese Bar: Medium Charcuterie and Cheese Platter with Hummus Enjoy a selection of four different local artisanal cheese, charcuterie, fresh and dried fruit , dark chocolate, and pickled veggies along with Cedar Valley Selections’ award-winning hummus. $75 29 Amy Croft Dr., Windsor 226.348.5277 THEDRIVEMAGAZINE.COM

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PROFILE

When Anna Raymond was young and working in the childcare field, she couldn’t help but think to herself, “I could do this differently.”

The Toy Box Establishing trust and creating space for children to flourish

In 2002, she and her husband took a shot and opened The Toy Box on Howard to provide her vision of early childhood education to Windsor and surrounding communities. With the idea of providing childcare for 45 children, The Toy Box would include classes for toddlers, infants, and preschool-aged children. It didn’t take long to fill their Howard centre, and for The Toy Box to expand to their new McDougall location. Their original plan had been to close their first location; however, by the time the new centre had been built, there were still waiting lists at both locations so they had no need to close. The Toy Box established a reputation in the childcare industry, and Anna continued to expand through the years to accommodate the needs of children. Now, Anna celebrates her new Walker location and being able to hold over 200 children in one space. This location has been called “The University” due to its size, but Anna wants to let new clients know that though this location is larger, it is built with the same love and community feel. “We’re not a big-box daycare. Whether we’re talking about the original 45 kids, or the 700 we care for now, we always offer the same quality of care,” says Anna. This location is priced the same as other locations, as Anna’s goal has always been to provide parents with premium care at an affordable price. “I have four children of my own, and I know that if the children are comfortable with the adults they are around, they will leave here and be ready for ‘Big School.’ They learn a wide range of age-appropriate tasks and skills that make up the basics of early learning. We do everything to make sure that they are prepared. If we can do that, while respecting each child’s uniqueness and individuality, we’ve accomplished what we set out to do,” says Anna. Many of Anna’s staff members have been with her since the very beginning and are a large part of her success. Her senior managers, Sarah Minello and Melissa Morgan, follow Anna’s formula in running The Toy Box efficiently. “My girls are doing anything and everything for these kids—they love them. That’s the highest compliment that we can receive—that our staff treat the children in our care like their own, and parents feel that when they walk in,” says Anna.

The Toy Box Early Childhood Education Centre 3940 Walker Rd, Windsor, ON 519.966.2727 thetoyboxece.com

Anna and her team have maintained reputable highquality childcare that parents can trust. From the initial walk-through, parents can see The Toy Box’s high-end facilities, which are built with state-of-the-art security systems, and where the meals are cooked fresh in-house and accommodate all religious and dietary needs. The Toy Box’s premium “extras” also include a gym area with climbers, libraries with computers, and educational programming that helps children’s early learning flourish to the next level. Sponsored by The Toy Box Early Childhood Education Centre

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SOCIAL DRIVE

PEOPLE DRIVE

DENIM MAKING A DIFFERENCE…

RESCUING TRAFFICKED WOMEN ONE PAIR OF JEANS AT A TIME By Veronique Mandal | Photography: provided by Outland Denim

When Canadian entrepreneurs Lauren and Mike Purkis attended an event for CEOs in New York two years ago, little did they know their lives were soon to be changed by an encounter with a friendly Australian. Nor could they have known the newest Duchess in the British royal family would also play a role in their lives. Their story begins in New York City. “We were at the Women’s Wear Daily conference and really knew nobody, but somehow this Aussie and the Canadians found each other, had a beer together, and chatted,” Lauren recalls, smiling at the memory. They liked James Bartle but, more importantly, they were intrigued by the story he told them about his product, Outland Denim, and the reason he brought it to market: his mission was to help save women and girls from the sex and labour trafficking industry in Cambodia. Bartle was at the conference looking for information about the American market for his denim brand, which he had started in 2011. “We were impressed by what he had accomplished over the past six years but were not sure how we could get involved, only that we knew we probably should. We told him we needed to see the product to make sure it was a quality we could get behind,” said Lauren. “We also told him we would help him make sure he got to all the right people to help him in Canada.” James Bartle - Denim factory in Cambodia

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SOCIAL DRIVE - FEATURE Lauren and Mike returned to Toronto. They ordered the jeans, tried them on, and approved of their cut, styling, and quality. They still had not decided how or if they wanted to become involved with the project. But, remembering the stories they’d heard from Bartle about human trafficking and doing their own research, they were beginning to understand how important this enterprise could be in the lives of so many abused human beings.

Bartle returned to Australia to confer with his wife Erica who backed his plan completely. So, this Mount Tamborine native with a welding business decided to set up a sewing operation to make jeans in Cambodia. He had a steep learning curve. “I knew nothing about the fashion world, but I wore lots of denim and I knew denim was a staple in everyone’s wardrobe,” said Bartle. “I also knew that for this to work we had to produce a quality, premium product. That meant learning everything about making jeans from pattern-making to sourcing raw material, to setting up a manufacturing process and learning how to make it commercially valuable. If it doesn’t make money, it isn’t sustainable.”

The story about how James Bartle came to devote his life and career to an anti-trafficking mission is one he tells passionately, leaving no doubt about his dedication and sincerity. Over a lengthy cellphone call while sitting in an airport in New Zealand, waiting to travel home to Australia, he is energized Bartle also wanted to ensure the jeans as he explains how he became involved with they produced met the highest possible the cause and how it is shaping the lives of environmental standards, which is him and his family. something many manufacturers are working His first encounter with the sordid towards in the industry. He says while the world of human trafficking started when fashion brands still have a long road ahead he watched the movie Taken, starring Liam to meet those standards, he is pleased to see Neeson—it’s the story about a CIA agent so many of them striving to change. who searches across Europe for his daughter “The plan is not to reduce the footprint who has been kidnapped on a trip to Paris. of our business, but how to solve the “This movie rattled me because women problems we’ve created. I believe the fashion and children can be so vulnerable,” he said. industry has the power to change and make “Then I was at a music festival in 2011 and a profound impact,” said Bartle. “We are met some people working with an anti-traf- working on innovative ways to do that with ficking group who told me about the awful a number of partners, including Queensland stories they were hearing. I knew I had to University of Technology, where over a do something.” 12-month period they developed a plantBartle decided he needed to learn more and travelled to Thailand and Cambodia where he says he saw firsthand the effects of human trafficking, and how the traffickers prey on young girls. “I saw a little girl about 12 or 13 for sale and I had two young nieces at the time, and I now have two young daughters, and it was clear to me that I couldn’t ignore the problem. I also realized after visiting with the agency Destiny Rescue that once people are rescued from a situation like this they need a lot of psycho-social care, but they need more than counselling. Handouts work only in the short term, but they can be just a band-aid solution. What these women need are training and skills, they need a place to live safely, and they need a wage that gets them out of poverty, which is one of the greatest contributors to human trafficking.” Some statistics, says Bartle, suggest the number of people who are lured back into the murky life of being trafficked could be as high as 80 per cent. This makes it all the more important, he says, to make sure what is being done to help them is sustainable. 42

based filtration system. These types of partnerships will change the trajectory of where the fashion industry is going.” The Outland Denim business model involves working with rescue agencies such as Destiny Rescue. People in the agency find women who are being trafficked and offer the women the counselling services they need to survive. Once the women have dealt with the horror they’ve endured, they are referred to Outland Denim to begin training to develop sustainable skills.

Our campaign ‘50 for the frontline’ sees $50 from every pair of jeans we sell going directly to the frontline agencies.” Today, there are two Outland Denim plants in Cambodia—a facility for cutting and sewing and a finishing factory. Bartle says his company maintains the highest ethical standards and work diligently to ensure their supply chain is free from forced labour, including having signed the Make Fashion Traffic Free protocol. This ensures Outland Denim is free of slavery and child labour. He was creating a new model for doing business—one that is, he says, fair, conscious, and sustainable. The company uses vegetable dyes, recycled zippers and rivets, and ethically sourced cotton. They also ensure that no contamination ever reaches local waterways. Outland Denim has several major components, according to Bartle. Those include training women on all aspects of jean making—from design to material sourcing and production. It also includes education in language, finances, and health care and ensuring a living wage. He also found support from the two Canadians he met in New York. Back in Toronto, Purkis and her husband kept talking about their encounter with Bartle. They were impressed and intrigued by what he was trying to do but weren’t sure they wanted to get involved financially. They were happy with where their multigenerational family business— Caulfeild Apparel Group Ltd.—was and at first were leaning away from signing on to the Outland project. But there was this nagging little voice taking them in a different direction.

“We decided finally that we wanted to be part of something that was bigger than us. We have five children (ages 3 to 17) and we know anyone could be put in those situations because of poverty,” said Purkis. “We know that human trafficking is a big problem across the world, including here “Our circular business model allows our in Canada, and it’s time we started to do seamstresses, staff, and customers to partic- something about it.” ipate in creating a better world not only for To confirm they were doing the right themselves but for the next generation by thing and investing in Outland Denim, Mike stopping the cycle of abuse, exploitation, and poverty through opportunity and personal went to Cambodia to visit the factory and see empowerment,” Bartle says with some firsthand how it was making a difference to measure of pride. “We source the finest, the lives of the women working there. environmentally-sound raw materials from “It was pretty profound because there around the world while offering training he could see for himself the looks on the and employment opportunities to women seamstresses’ faces and the level of energy rescued from human trafficking, sexual there,” said Purkis. “Mike found it to be a very exploitation, and other human rights abuses. special place. Bartle wanted to fix a problem

by finding a solution and we know people’s lives and spirits are being changed. You can’t put a price on changing a person’s life and future. We decided to invest with Bartle and to get Outland Denim known in Canada. I also think people will be touched by the message on the inside of the jeans—each pair comes with a personal message of thanks from a woman who has been saved.” Purkis says their older sons are also learning a great deal about giving back from their many long conversations with Bartle. As part of their role, the Purkises’ goal was to get Canadian retailers to sign on to their vision and the product. After some negotiation, meetings, and recommendations for “tweaks” on the jeans, Holt Renfrew agreed to stock the jeans for women and Harry Rosen took the jeans for men. At their soft launch of the jeans, Harry Rosen’s sales were uninspiring. Soheil Mann, who is in charge of the denim department at Harry Rosen, said they sold probably three or four pairs. However, when Bartle visited the store several weeks ago and brought his passion for the product and the project, it was like an explosion. They sold 27 pairs of the high-end jeans—average price $235—in a single day. “He is so passionate about what he is doing he had several of the women in the store in tears,” said Mann. “He told all of the sales associates the story behind the jeans and that made such a difference. They really bought into it and were able to relate that story to customers.” Mann said the philosophy behind the Outland brand is in sync with the Harry Rosen efforts to address the ethical sourcing of materials. Harry Rosen associate Nathan Sollman said Outland jeans are now carried by all Harry Rosen stores across Canada. He said awareness about the brand is growing and he had a customer come from Vancouver who bought several pairs because they “fit so well.” While the price tag may seem high to some, the cost is on the low end for premium jeans, said Sollman. “We now need a big name guy to wear the jeans.” Bartle says it is exciting to be growing the brand in Canada, with Sporting Life and several different independent stores carrying the jeans. They are also available online. He says in order to get jeans to customers around the world they use delivery services that minimize environmental impact.

THE UGLY TRUTH ACCORDING TO THE UNODC 2016 GLOBAL REPORT ON TRAFFICKING

AN ESTIMATED 3.8 MILLION ADULTS AND 1 MILLION CHILDREN WERE VICTIMS OF FORCED SEXUAL EXPLOITATION.

MORE THAN 7 IN 10 VICTIMS WERE EXPLOITED IN THE ASIA AND PACIFIC REGION.

THE INTERNATIONAL LABOR ORGANIZATION ESTIMATES FORCED LABOUR AND HUMAN TRAFFICKING IS A $150 BILLION INDUSTRY WORLDWIDE.

THE MAJORITY OF HUMAN TRAFFICKING VICTIMS ARE WOMEN AND GIRLS YOUNGER THAN 25.

A 2018 REPORT FROM STATISTICS CANADA SHOWS A RATE OF ONE INCIDENT OF HUMAN TRAFFICKING FOR EVERY 100,000 PEOPLE, THE HIGHEST INCIDENCE RATE EVER IN CANADA.

MOST PEOPLE CHARGED WITH THE CRIMES ARE MEN BETWEEN 18 AND 34.

The federal government has committed $2.9 million a year to establish a national human trafficking hotline to report cases to police, connect victims with help, and collect data on the problem. 1-888-373-7888 or Text BeFree (233722) 44

SOCIAL DRIVE - FEATURE The proof that this business model is working is evident, he says, when you hear stories about how the women are making new lives. One that touched him deeply was hearing how one young woman in the program was able to make enough money to buy her sister from traffickers. Bartle spends many weeks of the year flying around the globe. His recent visit to Cambodia was cut short when news broke that Meghan Markle was wearing Outland jeans during her 16-day tour of Australia, New Zealand, Fiji, and Tonga with husband Prince Harry. A selection of the jeans had been sent to the couple and the gift paid off. In total, the Duchess has worn her skinny black Harriet-style jeans at least six times. The news created a media frenzy. The design sold out within 48 hours—increasing sales 640% and, says Bartle, making it possible to add almost two dozen new seamstresses to their 50-plus workforce. The significance of one of the world’s iconic figures wearing the Outland brand is not lost on Bartle. “This is having a huge impact,” says Bartle. “We are grateful she loved our product and the story behind it and chose to wear it. And she’s pregnant, which speaks to the comfort level of the jean. We’re just so happy her wearing the jeans coincided with the couple’s tour of Australia. It makes a world of difference and we could not have wished for a better person to be wearing the jeans because of the commitment she and Prince Harry have made to so many charities that help improve people’s lives.” In Toronto, Lauren Purkis echoed Bartle’s delight that a member of the British royal family was wearing their jeans. “This has been unbelievable, a crazy time,” she said. “Her wearing the jeans really puts them in the spotlight. It really gets the brand out there and gives the product an incredible boost. We truly believe that this is a new business model that is meaningful. You can have a successful business but it is also possible to do it and have an impact on people’s lives, for the better.”

Meghan Markle wearing Outland jeans during her 16-day tour of Australia, New Zealand, Fiji, and Tonga with husband Prince Harry. Image by Getty Images

operation led by the FBI in the U.S., the RCMP in Canada, and police services in Cambodia, the United Kingdom, Indonesia, Thailand, and the Philippines. Two-thirds of human trafficking offences reported by police between 2009 and 2016 were reported in Ontario. In early January, Windsor police charged a 27-year-old Quebec man with trafficking following an assault investigation involving an 18-year-old woman. At a forum in LaSalle in July, Senior Const. Harbinder Gill told the audience that traffickers use coercive relationships to trap people into forced sex work, labour, and even organ harvesting.

Trafficking is a global problem and in mid-October the Windsor Police Service Morality Unit partnered with the ChathamKent, LaSalle, and Amherstburg Police Services and the OPP Essex County Unit to participate in Operation Northern Spotlight. This was a coordinated national law enforcement outreach program aimed at reaching vulnerable people in the sex Pascale Colucci, 35, is a local advocate trade industry who might be at risk of being for vulnerable women who have the potentrafficked. The program was part of an tial to be trafficked or have been rescued THEDRIVEMAGAZINE.COM

from sex and labour traffickers. Colucci recently spearheaded the A21 Walk for Freedom in Windsor. The A21 Campaign is a non-profit organization that works to fight human trafficking by rescuing victims through working with police, providing services for victims, and using events like the Walk for Freedom to create awareness. Through her work volunteering with the Lazarus Outreach Centre, Colucci says she encountered many woman with addictions who were working as prostitutes. “These are vulnerable women who are easy prey for a trafficker,” she said. “I have met some women who have been in the trade so long they absolutely refuse to be helped because they cannot see a way out. It’s heartbreaking. The goal is to get to women before they reach that low point. But

SOCIAL DRIVE - FEATURE it is really important we have something to sustain them once they’ve been rescued.” Colucci applauds the business model developed by Bartle. She would like to see more business ventures that include a plan to employ rescued victims without stigma. At the Walk for Freedom she introduced the more than 100 participants to Jennifer Devoe, a 42-year-old woman from Nova Scotia who had been trafficked for 21 years. “I developed a prescription drug addiction that led to a worse addiction and I lost everything,” said Devoe. “I divorced an abusive husband and lost access to an income. The man who started giving me money for drugs trafficked me, tattooed his name on my neck, and I eventually lost my children. I was servicing his gang of friends and sleeping in a basement on a gravel floor. There was no way out.” Devoe did ultimately get out with help from a counsellor who introduced her to someone who was starting a shelter for women. She advised Devoe to get out of Nova Scotia and sent her to the Welcome Centre Shelter in Windsor. Now two years clean, Devoe is advocating for other vulnerable women and found employment at the Meal Prep Company. “They welcomed me and there was no stigma from the moment I walked through their door,” said Devoe. “My hope is that there will be more companies willing to step up and be willing to give people like me a chance. Those who do have no idea what a life-changing experience it is. It gives us back a life. My children were at my graduation from the Centre and I am getting to know them. It is so important to give rescued people a second chance so that they have a purpose in life again.” For James Bartle, his project has become very personal. He and Erica see this as their life’s mission and want to make sure their daughters Emily and Isabelle, who are five and two years old, appreciate the importance of making a difference in the world. “I spend most of the year travelling and they all sacrifice a lot,” said Bartle. “I took them to Cambodia for three months because it is important for them to learn and see what that sacrifice is for. One thing is for sure, there are no other options now. This has to work because so many lives depend on it. I don’t think I can ever allow it to end and we will always adapt to make sure it doesn’t.” D.

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Clockwise from top left: Kim Willis, director of communications and mental health promotion at CMHA and CMHA Ambassadors: Christina Foreman, Jasmine Jasey, Greg Gnyp.

SOCIAL DRIVE

The Many Faces

OF MENTAL ILLNESS FINDING YOUR PATH ON THE JOURNEY TOWARDS MENTAL HEALTH By Alley L. Biniarz | Photography: Syx Langemann

What does “mental health” mean to you? Is it seeking help from a professional? Taking medication? Maybe it’s a friend who motivates you. Maybe it’s your family. Or maybe it’s yourself.

Schizoaffective disorder is schizophrenia with a mood component, which can often be unpredictable. Christina has lived surrounded by mental illness for the majority of her life, as she The journey towards mental health isn’t watched her mother experience a similar linear, just as mental illness isn’t visually unpredictability in mood. Even though her mother can be aggressive one day, and calm apparent. the next, Christina sees her mother for who The following three CMHA (Canadian she is: strong and persistent. Mental Health Association) ambassadors want you to know who they are, and to Growing up with her mother has instilled a help them fight the stigma of seeking help— passion in Christina to show the public that whatever that may mean to you. Below, “just because you’re diagnosed, it doesn’t you’ll see the face of schizoaffective disorder, make you a monster or dangerous,” she says. depression, and anxiety. But you wouldn’t know that, because what you see below are Supports came flooding through the gates just faces. And off me came all the weights People. Once I accepted the help I needed CHRISTINA FOREMAN

Self-love, security, and trust were seeded

with reality, and had no hope at all. She gave up on herself and thought she’d never get better. “Without all of the help I’ve received from CMHA, I wouldn’t be in this place. It’s been the biggest gift of my life,” she says about the occupational therapy she has received. Christina’s treatment includes one-on-one meetings with her nurse case manager, where Christina addresses if she’s received any messages from her TV, seen any hallucinations, or if she has had any thoughts of self-harm. Aside from CMHA, Christina taps into her creative outlets to help her work through her racing thoughts. She uses the many emotions that have come with having schizoaffective disorder and portrays the feelings in her writing and poems.

I fought this disease with all the strength in me Every day for Christina is a battle, but she Stigma is defined as a sign of disgrace or discredit, Then and now, I don’t find it easy says she can win that battle just by being alive. When she’s in a dark place, she Which sets a person apart from everyone else I realized this disease is only going to make me remembers that “loving herself” comes first, Stigma, drove me to think I was a monster, stronger and that she needs to believe in herself. She Anyone but myself is constantly saying “I am worth it.” No Especially when I fought it, longer and longer This is the first stanza of Christina In 2018, we are still judging others for matter what anyone says, she knows that Foreman’s poem that she read for a CMHA needing assistance, whether that be she deserves the help. event last March. Christina fights the stigma therapy or medication. Christina puts it of mental illness by looking beyond it. And into perspective, saying that if we have a she invites others to see beyond the label of friend who has diabetes, and they needed It’s a forever fight that you can win “schizoaffective disorder” that both she and to take their insulin, would we say to them, And when you do, life can begin her mother have been given. “Is that really good for you? Are you really I needed to forgive myself for the past This has been one of Christina’s main going to take that?” Medication helps struggles: labelling herself based on how them, and they need it to survive. It’s the Now when I look back, I can see the contrast she thinks others view her. Instead, Chris- same with mental illness. I want everyone to know that you are not insignificant tina reminds herself that she is more than her diagnosis. She is: Creative. Warm. When she was beginning her treatment with It is the most beautiful thing that you are all so CMHA, Christina was feeling disconnected different Giving. Empathetic. THEDRIVEMAGAZINE.COM

SOCIAL DRIVE GREG GNYP You may have heard his distinct voice while listening to 93.9 The River, and feel like you know Greg Gnyp. But would you have known that he lives with depression?

JASMINE JASEY

Jasmine Jasey become involved with CMHA two years ago, after the first time she posted publicly about her mental illness on Facebook. Along with a single photo of No, he says, because you don’t look at somebody herself, smiling happily, she wrote, “This is my picture of mental illness: panic attacks and know what depression looks like. and anxiety. You don’t always know what’s Greg says that he wasn’t necessarily in a place behind a photo.” of “I want to die.” But, there were moments where he would sit on his beautiful porch Seeing her speak openly about her mental with his dogs, with a glass of whiskey in health, CMHA contacted her to become an ambassador for educational purposes in hand, and just not care if he was alive. schools and in the workplace. He asks me if that makes sense, but mental illness doesn’t have to make sense; it just is. For Jasmine, speaking to younger ages was crucial. “If I had known what was wrong, Greg expressed his depression to others over or what was happening to me in the fourth Facebook, after the suicide of Chris Cornell, grade, it could have helped me sooner. At the lead singer of Soundgarden. He posted, the time, I felt so alone. So isolated,” she “I have always been the DJ who just smiled, says. Jasmine hadn’t worked on this healing laughed, drank, and made others laugh, until she was in her twenties. So, she jumped while I saw a strange blank slate in front at the opportunity to provide early intervenof me. Last year, that slate boxed me in for tion in schools. four months…” Growing up, she didn’t think people would In response to his post, someone believe her if she spoke out, if she said she commented, “Just go out there and smile!” couldn’t breathe. But now she knows, that’s Well, that’s what Greg always did. It was his not how to handle a child with anxiety. job to smile through the pain every single Instead, Jasmine says to them, “I believe that day. He explains it as someone telling you you’re feeling this way. I’m going to help you to paint a wall, but the wall is still decaying, figure out the steps that you need. That must it’s just covered up. feel awful.” “Depression is such a great liar—it’s one of By validating these feelings and allowing the ultimate liars in the world. You can have them in instead of blowing them off, a big house, a beautiful family, an amazing Jasmine helps children get through it. car, and everything you’ve ever wanted. But “You need to imagine how they’re feeling. depression tells you that you don’t deserve it. They truly feel that they can’t breathe. They No. It’s the mental illness you don’t deserve. feel dizzy. Having someone who is patient, You do deserve everything else,” he says. kind, loving, and positive in their life can Greg kept his depression hidden for so long help them work through it sooner.” that he couldn’t even admit to it himself. Now, Jasmine knows what she needs on But now, working alongside CMHA and a daily basis to help her get through, and Bell Media with the “Bell Let’s Talk” initiasometimes that’s just to complete one small tive, he uses his voice and humour to bring challenge a day. Sometimes it’s as simple as listeners even just one moment of happigetting in the car and driving to the store. ness each day. He says that everyone has to She sets a goal for herself, and she just has to put down the jazz hands that cover up the make it halfway. If she only gets three items conversation, and just talk about it. at the grocery store, she knows she can go He talks to his friends, his sister, and the public. back the next day to get the rest. Whatever Greg says he finds hope from this same she does is enough. flower that pops through the crack in his And she always makes sure to speak kindly cement. There’s been salt and weed killer to herself. She can always do more the sprayed, but every year that flower still following day. She needs mental wellness in comes out. The flower says, “Screw you, it order to be a good mother, a good wife, and rained and now I can grow. mostly just for herself. “You can be like that flower,” he says. For her, as for all of us, mental health “Just get through the cracks, and there’s is everything. something nicer on the other side.” 52

n CMHA launched the “Sole Focus Project” in 2017 to educate, enlist, and engage the community. By letting everyone know which resources are available to them, they hope to address the stigma of mental illness. This social media campaign is about engaging the thousands of community members so they know where to go, who to talk to, and to become better informed. Statistics say that 1 in 5 will experience mental illness in their lifetime. Kim Willis, director of communications and mental health promotion at CMHA, says that this statistic is on the low side. She has seen about 1 in 2. “It’s an illness just like any other. Brain health is equally as important, as there’s no health without mental health. It’s important to know the resources found within the community.” Check in with yourself every day, figure out which outlet works for you, and always seek help. You are not alone. We hear you. Let’s talk about it. Sole Focus Project solefocusproject.ca/ All Windsor-Essex community resources: windsoressex.cmha. ca/wp-content/ uploads/2018/07/2018-Community-Resources.pdf Windsor-Essex mental health resources: windsoressex.cmha.ca/mentalhealth/suicide-prevention/ mental-health-resources/

n Join the Sole Focus Project movement and take a stand for mental health as we collectively create a legacy fund to further enhance and distribute mental wellness education, awareness, and training in our community, and ensure the sustainability of programs not funded by our government. • 1 4 people die every day in our community

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n • 9 0% of people with depression will never seek treatment • 1 1 people die by suicide every day in Canada • 10 will attempt suicide

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Moir Crane Service Ltd Built by gernerations of experts

Moir Crane Service Ltd 1855 Manning Rd Unit #3 Tecumseh, ON N8N 2L9 519.737.6101 moircrane.com

A team of horses and a dray wagon were the humble beginnings of a family business that dates back to 1890 and now has the fifth generation involved in its operations. Incorporated as Moir Cartage Ltd. in the 1920s and having progressed to motorized trucks from teams of horses and wagons, the firm had among its many jobs of distinction the first commercial load to cross the Ambassador Bridge on November 8, 1929. To this day the firm still provides service to the historic structure for maintenance and upgrades. It also hauled components for the construction of the Detroit-Windsor Tunnel. Now called Moir Crane Service Ltd., the company has survived wars, the Great Depression, and recessions. “Name a major project in Windsor and Essex County over the past 100 years and odds are Moir was involved,” says fourth-generation owner Randy Moir. Ford, Chrysler, and GM. Construction of EC Row and Herb Gray Parkway. Solar farms and wind farms. New home construction, apartment buildings, and office buildings, including the new Windsor City Hall. The Flag project at Riverside and Ouellette and Windsor Casino. Over the years Moir also provided its resources and expertise to preservation projects such as the moving of 5588 to its final position on Riverside Drive. Under the supervision of thirdgeneration owner James Moir, the firm moved the Lancaster Bomber down Ouellette Ave to its perch at Jackson Park. In later years the firm lifted down the Bomber for restoration and put up the replica planes now on display. James was also instrumental in the preservation of many historical structures that were moved to Heritage Village and the Canadian Transportation Museum on the Arner Town Line where he was a longtime member. Randy’s son James and daughter Shannon represent the fifth generation of Moir’s involved in the business. James operates the firm’s mobile cranes with capacities up to 200 tonnes, and boom lengths in excess of 300 feet. Shannon is operations manager. A sixth generation could be in the wings, although proud grandfather Randy says it’s a little too early to tell. “Whether it be a large or small project ours is a competitive business,” says Moir, “but our customer base represents the best of the best in their fields and they recognize that cheaper isn’t always better. We consistently strive for safe, reliable service with professional operators and never lose sight of the fact that our customers have a choice! We thank them for consistently choosing us.” Sponsored by Moir Crane Service Ltd

Reaching beyond family

A SOCIAL ENTERPRISE, KIND TO ITS CORE By Michelle Laramie | Photography: Syx Langemann

Pulling into the parking lot of Family Service Windsor-Essex, you might not have the slightest inkling of the benefits, opportunities, and support that are hidden inside this modest industrial building. As you push through the front doorway, you are greeted by a welcoming brunette. She kindly takes you in, offering a beverage. The TV is comforting, a calming background noise. The room is filled with people from your community: your neighbours, your coworkers, friends, and family. They all have similar hopes, questions, and worries. Life is so hectic and difficult. We all need a little support, direction, and reassurance from time to time. Maybe, just maybe, the answer you are looking for is beyond the next door. Family Services Windsor-Essex, which has served the Windsor and Essex communities for almost 60 years, has combined their social activism, support, and service to the Windsor-Essex community in the most epic of social enterprises with the implementation of the Family Services Employee Assistance Program. The building houses one of the most thought-out community collaboratives in Windsor-Essex County. Family Services Windsor-Essex is the biggest employer in the building but they also share space with some critical community partners that help to streamline the services they offer. You can access Financial Fitness Services, the Sexual Assault Crisis Centre, a bilingual legal clinic for legal services in both English and French, and a VON nurse practitioner for health needs. These partners are just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the treasures just inside the walls of the unassuming building. â&#x20AC;&#x153;A lot of the families that come in need help with these things and we can do a lot of referrals back and forth in real time having all these partners here,â&#x20AC;? said Judy Lund, the strategic development and communication manager for FSWE and FSEAP.

Beth Anne Ternovan, Manager of Counselling & Employee Assistance Program Joyce Zuk, Executive Director

There are two main streams of services offered at FSWE. One is counselling, where the focus is on mental health and wellness needs. Then there are the support services such as the Housing First team. This team reaches out to

SOCIAL DRIVE the homeless and helps them reconnect with as a not-for-profit to be more sustainable in and employers are finally recognizing.” Steve Brown the system by having easier access to support the long run. Which makes us a very strong Sellick says it is hard to quantify and counselling they may need. not-for-profit corporation,” said Zuk. the ripple effect FSEAP has had on his “Before it was, we are going to help Dave Sellick, vice president of Sellick surrounding community because their people with their addiction or get them to Equipment Ltd., a forklift manufacturing employees span from Wheatley and start eating right, and on top of all that, company located in Harrow, Ontario, has Windsor to Amherstburg and Harrow. But find housing, all while staying in a shelter, been a FSEAP contract holder for many according to Zuk, FSEAP provides service said Lund. “It’s just not realistic. The goal years. Sellick Equipment Ltd. has been in to a thousand unique workplaces, which is to find them housing first, then work with business for 50 years and currently has 84 represents 600,000 lives across the country. them on other issues.” employees. When Sellick saw his employees “But that doesn’t include their families, Since the 1940s Family Service Agencies struggling many years ago, he and his team and add in the ripple effect of that because has been in the business of delivering decided to seek out an employee assistance of the social enterprise of it, and you can employee assistance programs—now FSWE program and found FSEAP. now help the friend, the neighbour, and so is turning a service they were already offering into a social enterprise. They sell employee assistance program (EAP) contracts to workplaces, companies, and unions on a one- to three-year basis to help their employees and members. In turn the revenue that may be generated from those contracts goes back into Family Service Agencies so they can deliver counselling and support to people in the community who may not be able to afford it. What is an EAP? It is part of a group benefit that either the employer or the union purchases that goes along with the employee’s health and dental benefits. It allows employees to access professional counselling services that will help them work through issues to allow them to be productive in their workplace and with their families once more. FSEAP was the first provider of EAP services in North America. “Having a social enterprise is a critical way for us to deliver our counselling across the board to anyone. It gives us a source of revenue,” said Joyce Zuk, executive director of FSWE and FSEAP. “If you worked at the hospital you would know that your employer bought a benefit for you that also gives back to the community. So, it’s a win-win.” The services offered are so many and keep these women on their toes. The women say people often wonder why they work tirelessly to help keep FSEAP current and growing for future needs in the community. They offer a crisis intervention response team, on-call emergency response, workshops, and “Lunch and Learn” programs delivered right to the workplace among many other benefits with the FSEAP. According to Zuk and Lund, it is a lot of work to keep this social enterprise wheel spinning, but it’s all worth it.

It is important to offer benefits that promote the well-being of the workforce, according to Sellick. He feels if his employees have problems, they are not going to be productive. He says that it is important to offer great benefits and contribute to the overall well-being of his employees.

“It’s a family culture in our small company,” said Sellick. “I had a case a few years ago where the secretary came to me about one of our employees in the plant who seemed suicidal. I picked up the phone and called Family Services and talked to Beth Ann [Ternovan, the manager of counselling at the employee assistance program]. Right away, she says ‘Can you get the employee in an office by themselves right now and let me talk to them?’ It was addressed immediately. The response was phenomenal.”

There are many reasons why mental health and wellness have come to the forefront. Those at FSEAP are helping to highlight the importance of paying attention to the needs of others and removing some of the stigma surrounding it.

“First, it is one of the benefits of social media,” said Ternovan. “There have been prominent people coming forward with courage and wisdom to tell their stories about their struggles with mental health concerns. Because of that it has caused people to engage in the conversation more readily and with a little bit less stigma. Another reason is because of the Mental Health Commission of Canada and the psychological safety standards in workplaces that we are all mandated to adhere to. So, According to Ternovan, besides being all of those ideas go into how we are hearing available for phone interventions 24/7, about those issues in the workplace more FSEAP’s Critical Response Team has gone and how we can support one another.” into a workplace within an hour many times over the years to provide psychological first When you talk about mental health it aid in the event of a critical incident. is not an all-or-nothing situation. It is an “Psychological first aid is a critical tool illness-to-wellness continuum. At any point that workplaces need to be able to offer in time we can move from one end of that their employees in the event that something illness to the other depending on what is traumatic takes place,” said Ternovan. “It happening in our personal life, work life, is meant to reduce any of the maladaptive and physical and medical health. symptoms that can arise if somebody is not “So, we can move from a diseased state responded to quickly in the event of a trauma. to an optimal health state and we can move “We are having a very full conversation back and forth across that continuum over about mental health now,” she continued, time,” said Ternovan.

“and when we are looking at an individual’s health, in the past we have only looked at their physical health but now people are noticing that a mental health issue is the number one reason that people will be away from work. People not getting the treatment and support they need to deal with their mental health is the prime reason we are “The nice part about providing our seeing folks not achieving healthy lives, not own revenue stream is we are not relying taking part, not going to work, not going on government funding, and that helps us to school. So, it’s something that companies THEDRIVEMAGAZINE.COM

forth,” said Zuk.

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PROFILE

In 1988, Norbert Bolger started Nor-Built Construction. He was the sole employee doing trim work, renovations, and framing for clients—skills he’d learned from his father, who did renovations and handiwork. “I used to work between 80 and 100 hours a week. I worked 40 for one job, and then I would come home, grab dinner, and go back to work until one or two in the morning,” Bolger said. Bolger worked a lot trying to get ahead. He slowly hired a few people, built his first house in 1991, and has grown Nor-Built into a company that values quality craftsmanship and service.

NOR-BUILT Construction Building dreams since 1988

Over the years, the buildings Nor-Built Construction oversaw became more complex. More staff was needed. Bolger estimates that well over a hundred people have worked for the company over the years. Besides the Nor-Built team, Bolger’s wife and daughter provide him with great support. His daughter, who has cerebral palsy, inspired the company to build accessible homes and apartments when Bolger wanted her to be able to get around the house easily and to be independent when she lived on her own. “I’m very proud to say that she has moved into one of our accessible apartments last spring and is doing fantastic,” he said. Recently, some of Nor-Built Construction’s projects have featured a winery, a 7,000-square-foot plaza, two apartment buildings, and a new subdivision with 140 single and semidetached homes. The company held a news conference to announce the creation of a new hotel along with other commercial pads that will be constructed at the corner of Simcoe and Meloche Streets in Amherstburg. The hotel will feature 60 rooms, and the company hopes the project will be completed by 2020. “We did the first study for a hotel in 2010; it was not feasible at the time. Now we think it’s time.”

NOR-BUILT Construction Main Office/Showroom 1000 Alma St. Amherstburg, ON 519.736.1892 norbuilt.com

Bolger has so much confidence in his staff that they all bear his name in their work attire. NorBuilt Construction’s goal is to try to make everybody as happy as they can. “When people ask my customers, ‘Who built your house?’ I take that very seriously. That is one of the reasons I put my name in the company name. A lot of people call me Norbuilt.” Previous customers of Nor-Built often run into Bolger at a grocery store and thank him and his team for a service they did years ago. As for the future, Bolger is planning to continue the business. “I started when I was 20 years old, I am 51 now. As we continue to grow and evolve, I look forward to many years ahead of us.” Sponsored by NOR-BUILT Construction

PSYCH DRIVE

LEAN

into loneliness By Dr. Andrea Dinardo | Photography: Sasha Freemind

When we feel a painful emotion, our first instinct is to pull away. To numb the pain. To hide from the intensity. This was the case for Sarah and Jack, two unique individuals with vastly different circumstances. But they each experienced the same emotion: loneliness. An emotion that is heightened during the holidays. SARAH Sarah was a 42-year-old recently divorced woman who was about to face her first holiday season alone. Living in a new town, miles away from friends and family, she was waiting to begin a new job in January. Hours felt like days. Days felt like months. Sarah had tried everything to fill the void inside. The mistake she made was running away from the one thing that would help get her to the other side: loneliness itself.

Knowledge is power 1. Understand the emotion We need to first understand an emotion before we jump to the conclusion that it’s either good or bad, because in reality, emotions are almost entirely physiological in nature. There’s not a negative or positive to them. It’s in our mind that we make it one or the other. This concept is supported by Schachter-Singer’s theory of emotion: EVENT

PHYSIOLOGICAL RESPONSE

COGNITIVE INTERPRETATION

EMOTION

The theory of emotion explains why two people can experience the exact same event and have completely different emotional reactions to it. What matters most is the person’s interpretation of an event, not the event itself. After all, as they say, one person’s glass-half-full is another one’s glass-half-empty. In Sarah’s situation, she interpreted her physiological response to idle time as loneliness, while another person might label it as much-needed relaxation. Ultimately, Sarah has a choice. One interpretation debilitates; the other empowers.

2. Witness the emotion Now that Sarah understands the interpretative power she holds over her environmental triggers, the next step is to witness loneliness in a neutral, curious state rather than fighting it at every turn. In doing so, Sarah neutralizes the intensity of her emotions, allowing them to flow through her, rather than getting stuck in a repetitive loop of pain. Here are four simple ways to create space between triggers and responses: 1. Count to 10 2. Take a long deep breath 3. Make three wishes 4. Look up at the sky Taken one step further, each time that Sarah experiences a challenging emotion during the holidays, rather than running from it she needs to lean in and ask that emotion, “What are you trying to teach me?” 3. Reframe the emotion The final step for Sarah is to learn how to reframe the situations that trigger her loneliness, and understand why sometimes she overreacts, while other times she lets go without a second thought. Solitude is perceived as isolation by one person and freedom by another. Reframing exercise: 1. I dentify a situation that triggers loneliness. 2. Imagine the best-case scenario: “This situation is temporary.” 3. L ook for evidence of the best-case scenario: “The longest I’ve been single is two years.” 4. D escribe the worst-case scenario: “I will be alone forever.” 5. N ame the benefits of the worst-case scenario: “I am free to do what I want.” 6. Finally, ask for help in reframing triggers, especially when feeling overwhelmed. Once Sarah learns how to change the story “behind” the story, her instinctive loneliness lessens. And her ability to choose a higher thought improves.

PSYCH DRIVE JACK At 55 years of age, Jack was also feeling the pangs of loneliness. His wife of 25 years died suddenly of a heart attack two years ago. Unexpected was an understatement. They had run in three marathons together and had spent their weekends sampling new vegan restaurants in their local community. Ever since his wife had died, Jack struggled to face the holidays alone. Jack’s story is as much about him as it is about the family around him. His family and friends’ automatic response was to feel sorry for him, a response that compounded his feelings of disconnectedness and misunderstanding. Jack did not want people to feel sorry for him. He was a proud man who was ready to move on.

Get out of your own head

1. Meet with “experienced” widowers As much as Jack missed his wife, he also missed his ability to connect authentically with friends and family. Having been treated with kid gloves since his wife died, Jack longed to be seen as a victor rather than a victim. As such, I encourage Jack to connect with like-minded individuals who had been through a similar situation: widows and widowers. Specifically, ones who had been on their own for several years. The benefits were twofold. One, Jack would learn new ways of relating to friends and family. And two, he’d be given the green light to grow and acclimate to his new circumstances. 2. Connect with others in unexpected, low-pressure ways The other component missing in Jack’s life was fun. Simple, cheerful, good-time fun. Everything had become so serious since his wife died, with almost every conversation beginning or ending with his wife’s death. There was no doubt that he missed her with all his heart. But equally, he longed for moments where he could be free of the loneliness and pain. I recommend that Jack reintroduce sports into his life. Something non-competitive that would get him out of the house on a Wednesday night. Better yet, if it involved people that he had never met, it would allow him to continue his journey of reinvention and rediscovery. Equally therapeutic for Jack would be joining a cinema group or regular euchre meetup—both would offer him a chance to be in the moment and enjoy the simple pleasures in life. 3. Honour the old, create the new Finally, I advise Jack to examine the memories and traditions that he wanted to keep alive during the holidays—and, equally, the ones of which he was ready to let go. Jack took the practice one step further. Declaring December a month of renewal and reinvention, he revived a strength and peace inside that radiated out to his entire family. When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. Jack and Sarah have a lot to teach us about loneliness and how important it is to honour the unique ways in which we process adversity. One size does not fit all. Fellowship and fun were vital for Jack’s growth and recovery, while Sarah needed a more analytical approach to processing difficulty. • Lean into loneliness. • Approach it with openness and curiosity. • Make space for the lessons beneath the suffering. D. D.

Visit DrAndreaDinardo.com to learn more about her TEDx talk and positive psychology workshops. Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. To protect the privacy of individuals, names and identifying details have been changed.

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PROFILE

Fox D Consulting Inc.

Mary Katherine Fox, CEO and Chief Consultant of Fox D Consulting Inc., started in the local cannabis industry around 2013. “A family friend from the Leamington greenhouse area had reached out to me looking for a medical professional to help with a commercial cannabis application,” said Fox. Prior to her involvement in this industry, Fox worked in psychology. Unsure about the future of her current career, she took on this one job and it quickly became a whole new career. Now she has worked on close to 70 cannabis applications and has obtained licenses for 16 Canadian Licensed Producers to date. “Our main focus is submitting applications to the federal government here in Canada; taking care of all required documentation, communication with Health Canada from a compliance perspective as well as quality control perspective, and GPP/GMP compliance.” The majority of her clients are located across Canada, but she also services companies in the United States and certain European Union countries. As of October 17, 2018, the recreational cannabis market came into play in Canada under the new Cannabis Act. Fox admitted she had no idea this industry would be what it is today when she entered it. “I ended up taking on multiple clients and applications in a few short months and thought hey, I have the ambition and the industry knowledge to start my own consulting firm—now, five years later, here we are.” Fox has developed her consulting firm into a service that draws clients from around the world. However, she still faces the stigma that lingers with cannabis when people ask her what she does for a living. “The funny thing is, I still don’t tell people what I do; I tell them I own a consulting firm and often I will leave it at that. I don’t normally bring up the cannabis factor because it does get frowned upon.” In Fox’s office, there are framed American propaganda film posters of Reefer Madness and Devil’s Harvest. These films, released in the 1930s and 1940s, feature the words “sin” and “vice” next to marijuana on the movie posters.

Photography by: Heike Delmore Fox D. Consulting Limited 226.345.7737 foxdconsulting.com

“These films were marketed and created to teach a tale of morality to the public about the dangers of cannabis,” she explains. “They then resurfaced as satire among cannabis policy reform advocates in the 1970s. That is why I frame them; because it is phenomenal to me to see how far we have come from then to now. “Leamington is no longer going to be known as the tomato capital of Canada; it will soon be the cannabis capital of Canada.”