The Drive magazine // Spring 2020 // Issue 127

The

DRIVE ISSUE 127

ESCAPING THE NIGHTMARE:

LIFESTYLE | CULTURE | PEOPLE | TRENDS LIFESTYLE | CULTURE | PEOPLE | TRENDS

HUMAN TRAFFICKING

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TRAFFICKERS MAKE BETWEEN $240,000 AND $260,000 A YEAR PER VICTIM PER YEAR 95% OF TOTAL HUMAN TRAFFICKING VICTIMS (SEX AND LABOUR) ARE FEMALE The average victim of human trafficking is 13-and-a-half years old 27% of all human trafficking victims had experienced some degree of physical injury Read the full article on page 32

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Sources: globalnews.ca, ctdatacollaborative.org, stats Canada, Joy Smith Foundation.

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PAUL ST-PIERRE

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KEN STEWART

Managing director

BREANNE MCGINTY

Sales

SABINE MAIN

Editorial and creative director

SHAWNA BEECROFT

Graphic designer

CONTRIBUTORS JEN HALE

Copy editor

SYX LANGEMANN

Lead photographer

MARNIE ROBILLARD

Graphic designer

LAYAN BARAKAT

Writer

ALLEY L. BINIARZ

Writer

CHRIS EDWARDS

Writer

VIVIEN FELLEGI

Writer

ABIGAIL LITTKEMANN

Writer (student contest)

KIMBERLY LOVE

Writer

KATRINA MANZOCCO

Writer

JESSE ZITER

Writer

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On the cover: Escaping the nightmare of Human Trafficking.

Three individuals who overcame the horrors of human trafficking share their gripping stories.

DRIVE ISSUE 127

ESCAPING THE NIGHTMARE:

HUMAN TRAFFICKING

Photo Credit: Syx Langemann

LIFESTYLE | CULTURE | PEOPLE | TRENDS LIFESTYLE | CULTURE | PEOPLE | TRENDS

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CONTENTS ISSUE 127: SPRING I 2020 NEWS DRIVE 9 Around Town DATE DRIVE 10 Date night in Windsor SOCIAL DRIVE 14 Ola Hassan feeds them with kindness ATHLETIC DRIVE 18 Tecumseh’s Linda Morais is world champion 24 Kara Ro is changing the boxing industry PEOPLE DRIVE 30 How three human trafficking survivors are healing through their advocacy HEALTH DRIVE 40 Eating disorders: spot the signs and symptoms in children 46 Love your body after 50 STUDENT DRIVE 51 Libro Financial contest FAN DRIVE 54 Football trip of a lifetime yields a story for the ages HISTORY DRIVE 58 Windsor before and after history

18 ATHLETIC DRIVE Linda Morais for gold

30 PEOPLE DRIVE Human Trafficking advocacy

EDITOR’S LETTER DRIVE

RESOLVE TO...

I don’t make New Year’s resolutions, but it’s not because I won’t follow through. Most are doable: get fit; spend more time with the people who matter the most; travel to a new place.

For me, the concern with resolutions is they are somewhat forced—if I want to make a change in my life, I would not wait for a specific date to make it happen. However you treat your gumption to make a change, I hope you have overcome the 21-day hump to form your new and exciting habit(s).

This issue is our first of 2020, and when we met to start putting it together, we were laser-focused on sweeping changes. We kept our team of amazing writers and photographers but started tinkering with new ideas, brainstorming all the ways The Drive could change over the next few months.

There are glimmers of that inspiration in these pages. Such minute changes might not seem like much, but it’s all part of the continual renewal process—helping us create a magazine that better meets your needs. Nothing could be more important to our team.

The issue of The Drive highlights people and stories of true resolve. People like Victoria Morrison, Timea Nagy, and Tamas Miko, the amazing human trafficking survivors who found their voice to rise against being victimized and have all zeroed in on what’s most important in their lives. They are truly inspiring. You’ll also find stories on powerful athletes like Kara Ro and Linda Morais, who defy what we expect of women in sports. We share how a healthy mind results in a healthy body, and how to take mental stock on how you see yourself after the age of 50, and much, much more.

We’ve come a long way! In 2020, The Drive magazine celebrates 20 years of strengthening our community. This year, we plan to keep altering, innovating, and challenging magazine standards. We resolve to make resolutions as we go. Our only requirement is that Windsor knows who we’re writing for. If you’re reading every issue, then this year is for you.

Enjoy great content and keep a lookout for newness and creativity all year long. Thank you for partnering with us over the years. We couldn’t have done it without you.

Sabine Main, Editorial + Creative Director

THEDRIVEMAGAZINE.COM

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Laurie lost all her teeth at the age of 26 years after struggling with blood-related medical issues since she was a teenager. A medication she was given had the horrible side-effect of compromising her teeth to the point of extraction. “I had all my teeth pulled in the hospital,” she said. “I balled my eyes out and had nightmares. Your smile is such a confidence thing.” For years Laurie was hesitant to break out an ear-to-ear grin despite a vibrant personality that lends itself to smiles and laughter. An old, poor-fitting and damaged set of dentures almost always held her back. When she bit into a chocolate bar last Halloween, her upper denture cracked completely in half.

Struggling with other bills after a recent family move to Windsor, she had to glue her upper denture back together. “I’m a waitress, I can’t be without my teeth,” she told herself.

Laurie wouldn’t eat anything during her work hours for fear of breaking her fragile dentures again. “The only thing I’d have was soup,” she said.

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LOCAL DRIVE Vene is a concept clothing store featuring a one-of-a-kind collection made up of hand-picked European clothing. We truly believe that our curated selection featuring coats, dresses, tops, and pants cannot be found anywhere else in North America. When it comes to fashion, Veneta Petrusevska, the owner, understands that the beauty lies in the details. She knows that fashion is an expression of oneself, and emphasizes uniqueness and individuality throughout her selection. We have searched long and hard to curate this collection and are extremely excited to share it with you. Our winter collection has been a massive hit around town, and we can’t wait to unveil our upcoming Spring 2020 collection. Vene Concept Store is found at 14306 Tecumseh Road East. You can also follow us on social media on Instagram @vene.concept or on Facebook: facebook.com/vene.concept.

AROUND TOWN

Welcome to our custom content page meant to highlight unique news from the Windsor-Essex region

Caught between vegetarian and vegan? Carrots and Dates in Tecumseh is expanding its brand and will be changing their name to Nourish. Same great owners and staff; just a revamped look, conversion from counter-cafeteria style to full table service and offerings extended beyond vegan into vegetarian. They will be open for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Visit them through the month to experience the transformation.

T2B goes East this year! What a wonderful evening filled with authentic colours, glitz, and glamour with a theme inspired by Moroccan, Indian, and Arabian cultures. As always, it did not disappoint raising over $400,000 towards all of T2B’s hospital programs right here in Windsor and Essex County. Their programs include various Care and Comfort programs for cancer patients and pediatric oncology.

THEDRIVEMAGAZINE.COM

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DATE DRIVE

Date Night IN WINDSOR

Linger a little longer at our favourite date spots

By Katrina Manzocco | Photographs by Syx Langemann

Valentine’s Day is almost upon us—if you don’t yet have plans for the occasion, have no fear! We’ve compiled a winning line-up of the best food and beverage spots around the city to show the important people in your life that you care. After all, what’s more romantic than ensuring they don’t have to do the dishes

THE BREWERY DATE

THE COCKTAIL DATE

MAIDEN LANE: While having opened its doors only recently in summer 2019, Maiden Lane has quickly become a destination for Windsor’s cocktail connoisseurs and design enthusiasts.

Maiden Lane’s adorable, string-lit European patio that faces onto its namesake might not be open for Valentine’s Day, but its interior is absolutely alluring. The locale could easily be Windsor’s chicest—the space features a stunning emerald green tiled bar area, complemented SANDWICH BREWING COMPANY: Old meets new in this by ultra-moody lighting and décor. The ambience mixed with Maiden west-side destination. Sandwich Brewing offers a gorgeously rustic Lane’s incredible beverage and snack program, makes for the ideal recipe environment for beer lovers and the ones they love. for intimate conversations.

The brewery is hosted in one of Windsor’s historic heritage buildings. Enjoy a shared small plate with that special someone—Maiden Lane The space boasts exposed brick walls, pressed tin ceilings, and a lofted offers a cold kitchen that specializes in charcuterie and includes a host of ceiling—all complemented by the impressively exposed brewing kit surprising additions, like Spanish tinned squid accompanied by gourmet located behind the bar. potato chips and a decadent duck terrine.

The candlelit tables and bar area offer a supremely cozy place to enjoy Sandwich Brewing’s exceptional offering of exclusive craft microbrews. If you can’t decide which brew to try, why not try them all?

Linger a little longer here over a flight or two—you’ll be glad you did.

Located at: 3230 Sandwich St. 10

Above all else, come for Maiden Lane’s stunning and storied selection of wines and cocktails both historic and new—all of which are guaranteed to impress. Whether it’s pre- and post-Prohibition-era classics or the latest and greatest in beverage trends that you’re thirsty for, you’ll find it here. Located at: 494 Pelissier St.

DATE DRIVE

THE ROMANTIC DATE

NICO TAVERNA: Located on Erie Street, Nico’s Taverna is the quintessentially perfect date locale.

Identifiable by the fragrant smoke of its wood-fired ovens, Nico’s Taverna greets you even before you’re through its doors, and what a welcome it is. Whether seated in a table of your own or at the bar, there isn’t a bad seat in the house—the chicly lit surroundings manage to offer upscale comfort that’s both friendly and unassuming.

A romantic take on Italian classics accompanied by new culinary perspectives, Nico’s vibrancy extends through the atmosphere into its food and drink programs. Whether it’s crowd pleasers like arancini and pillowy gnocchi to visually stunning mains like grilled whole branzino, Nico’s offers a very special something for anyone lucky enough to secure a reservation.

Located at: 501 Erie St. E.

THE SPICY DATE

GRAND CANTINA: What says love like carnitas or carne asada?

Ford City’s favourite taco spot offers a fun take on Valentine’s Day. From its Miami Vice–inspired neon sign to its very chilled-out décor, Grand Cantina’s vibrant space gives us the feel of being on a vacation somewhere warm—a welcome thought during the chilly winter days here.

Grand Cantina’s menus include fresh takes on Mexican classics—think craft tequilas, a Korean-inspired gochujang chicken taco (affectionately called the ugly delicious), and even vegetarian delights like their jackfruit taco.

Whether it’s friends, family, or that special someone, show them you care this Valentine’s Day with a Grand Cantina margarita or two and some very delicious churros.

Located at: 1000 Drouillard Rd. THEDRIVEMAGAZINE.COM

D

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PARTNER

WITH SUCCESS If you’re ready to boost your sales and increase your business exposure, we look forward to meeting with you.

Contact us to start your advertising campaign with The Drive magazine today.

CONTACT US BREANNE MCGINTY bmcginty@thedrivemagazine.com

519.819.4697

The

DRIVE

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kindness

SOCIAL DRIVE

FEED THEM WITH

Local Student Launches Social Enterprise to Reduce Food Waste and Feed the Hungry By: Layan Barakat

Princess Diana once said, “Carry out a came here I thought I wouldn’t see the same random act of kindness with no expectation thing, but I noticed when I was working as a of reward.” barista that every shift the supervisor would “I love Princess Diana,” says Ola Ahmed, dump everything out even though it was her voice trailing off in adoration. She refer- packaged, healthy, and delicious. I started to ences the late royal philanthropist as her feel like this was happening everywhere.” She biggest inspiration while speaking on a panel knew it was time to do something about it and of female entrepreneurs during Women Entre- thus, Kindness Café was born. preneurship Week 2019. Her admiration goes beyond that of a regular fan; Ola walks the walk as a local entrepreneur and founder of Kindness Café, a social enterprise with a platform based on kindness, generosity, and the general well-being of the Windsor-Essex community and beyond.

THEDRIVEMAGAZINE.COM

Ola’s journey began at a young age.

Growing up in Egypt, she watched as her mother created fresh and delicious meals for her family every single day. But she also saw leftover food from the prior day being thrown into the garbage. Something about that didn’t sit well with Ola, especially as she grew up and became more observant of the world around her, seeing hunger and famine taking over communities.

Ola’s initial business model included placing refrigerators around the WindsorEssex area and having community members donate food items for those in need, similar to the idea of a free library. It wasn’t until she enrolled in the EPIC Founders program at the University of Windsor EPICentre that she pivoted her business model to what it is today: a transient restaurant with a pay-as-you-feel platform. “Kindness Café is a pop-up-driven restaurant that serves surplus and unsold food donated from restaurants, cafés, bakeries, farms, and citizens,” explains Ola. “We serve it back to the community as a meal with a pay-asyou-feel concept so people will decide the value of the food that they get. If they don’t want to pay for it, it’s okay for them to take it for free.”

After obtaining her Bachelors of Biotechnology in Egypt, Ola came to the University of Windsor to complete her Masters of Medical Biotechnology. Upon arrival, she accepted a position at a local coffee shop. “I noticed a lot of food waste in Egypt,” says Ola. “When I

According to the National Zero Waste Council, one third of all food produced globally is wasted and 63 percent of food that Canadians throw out each year could have been rescued. Ola’s platform aims to alleviate this problem within the Windsor-Essex 15

SOCIAL DRIVE

With the pay-as-you-feel platform, the menu at Kindness Café can cater to anyone’s budget. The money she does receive goes right back into purchasing ingredients to help expand her menu. “When I prepare meals, I still need more ingredients sometimes like salt, pepper, tahini, so I buy it using the pay-as-you feel fund. The money goes back into the business for packaging, marketing materials, and, of course, more ingredients.” Ola says she would like to further reduce her environmental impact by investing in biodegradable takeout containers.

Kindness Café is still in the early stages of development. Ola is currently enrolled in the Libro-EPIC Social Enterprise Program at the University of Windsor EPICentre, a 16-week accelerator program where she and three other local social enterprises are working to validate their businesses.

Despite the fact that Kindness Café is still new, Ola has big plans for the company’s growth. “I want to add a food truck, but it’s also a good idea to have a permanent location for the sake of deliveries and donations,” she explains. “So we’ll have a kitchen and either a café setting where people can eat there, or we will take it out in the food truck and go to the places where people need it most. It’s ideal in Windsor to have a mobile system because Windsor is such a small city and it’s very convenient to just drive around and serve people.”

Photograph by Syx Langemann

community by turning food surplus into the same delicious meals she watched her mother make when growing up in Egypt. “I get the unsold product, which can be anything like a box of tomatoes, three boxes of lettuce, and cans of chickpeas,” she explains. “I’ll start to think of how I can mix all the ingredients together into a delicious meal. So I’ll make salads, a hummus—it all depends on what I get as a donation.

“Someone once told me that my hummus is the best hummus they’ve ever tasted!” she adds.

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Meeting Ola, it’s apparent that the word kindness is not only synonymous with the café’s business platform, but also something that radiates through her. Her idea was born out of the immense need to make the world a better place, starting with her own community. “Because Windsor is a small city and has Although Kindness Café rescues unsold a smaller population, we can manage the situafood items, Ola is still mindful of the fact that tion here and maybe, in the future, we can her meals must be of the highest quality for her expand to other cities,” she says. customers. Any food waste that she produces For now, you can catch Ola and her volunor donated items that have passed their teers at various pop-up locations around best-before date are then donated to the local the community with menu items ranging composting company, GreenerBins compost, from fattoush salad, hummus, and traditional to either feed the chickens in their chicken Egyptian Koshari, just to name a few. sanctuary or turn into compost. “It’s a cycle— Learn more about Kindness Café people, then livestock, then soil—to help produce the next generation of food. It’s a 100 @KindnessCafeWindsor on Facebook and Instagram. D percent zero-waste plan.”

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ATHLETIC DRIVE

GOLD HABITS DIE HARD

Tecumseh’s Linda Morais is world champion

By Jesse Ziter Photographs by Martin Gabor (Wrestling Canada Lutte)

You’ve heard of Bianca Andreescu, but are you familiar with Essex County’s own women’s world champion? Tecumseh’s Linda Morais made headlines this September when she captured a 2019 World Wrestling Championship gold medal in her weight class. The Drive spoke to her about the road to glory—and how she has Tokyo 2020 in her sights.

In the middle of Kazakhstan, nearer to Mongolia than Moscow, two women stand in a small yellow circle at the centre of a great, flat sea of blue foam. In six minutes, one of them will be champion of the world.

The 26-year-old Canadian, in her grey-and-blue singlet, looks every bit the visitor against her red-clad Russian opponent, and after an uncertain opening 90 seconds, she finds herself trailing 6-0.

Watching in Canada, you can hear that familiar note of polite trepidation in the commentator’s voice.

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ATHLETIC DRIVE

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ATHLETIC DRIVE

This time, Linda Morais didn’t panic.

After besting competitors from Ukraine, Azerbaijan, and Mongolia, the L’Essor graduate is facing off against Russia’s Liubov Ovcharova for gold at the 2019 World Wrestling Championships in the Women’s 59-kilogram Freestyle division. A Tecumseh native, Morais won a bronze medal at the 2016 Championships but exited the 2018 tournament early after dropping two closely contested matches.

The referee restarts the match with just over four minutes remaining after the combatants stray to the perimeter of the ring. The CBC microphone picks up the Canadian coach, loud and clear: Let’s go! You’re still in it.

We’ve got lots of time.

In freestyle wrestling, matches comprise two three-minute rounds. Competitors are awarded points for executing maneuvers from a highly technical catalogue of actions like takedowns and reversals. A skilled wrestler can accrue up to five points in a single motion.

When time expires, the wrestler with more points wins, unless one of them is able to pin the other to the mat.

Often, things fall apart quickly. Here, the two women engage each other in a standing grapple, tight braids together like rutting elk.

Suddenly, explosively, Morais throws herself headfirst into the mat, taking the Russian with her. Holding both shoulders down, she wrenches her opponent’s right arm under her weight. The fall counts. The match is over.

Clearly, Morais can dissect her performance intelligently, with a sense of perspective and proportion. She seems, not unlike her Russian foe, eminently grounded. Principally, Morais credits her triumph to a year of focus on her mentality. She’s been working closely with sports psychologist Theresa Biano, an assistant professor of Psychology at Concordia, to learn to better regulate her emotions.

The path is not an easy one. Morais’s success at the Worlds earned her a spot in the final of the Canadian Olympic selections in Niagara Falls. On December 7, just before press time, Morais defeated 21-year-old Prince Edward Islander Hannah Taylor by fall to win the competition. This victory earned Morais a place in the Pan-Am Olympic Qualification Tournament in March. A top-two finish at that competition, which will be contested in “Every year that I compete at the Worlds, Ottawa, would secure her an Olympic berth.

I learn something new about myself,” she Morais’s previous best finish at the Pan-Am explains. “I finally feel like I’m learning the level was fifth, in 2018. mental side of sport, which was holding me Morais’s Olympic dreams are complicated back. In the past I’d always seen a world by the fact that her 59-kilogram weight class is champion as somebody who’s a superstar, but not contested at the Olympic Games. Essengoing into this tournament, I really saw myself tially, she must “move up” to the 62-kilogram on that podium. I believed that I could give a division or drop down to 57 kilograms to little bit more and be successful.” compete in Olympic qualifiers. Ultimately, In wrestling, as in most amateur sports, the she chose to wrestle at the lighter weight. “It’s World Championships represent the pinnacle going to be quite a challenge,” she notes. “I never felt quite comfortable wrestling at the of competition outside Olympic years. higher weight class as the girls at 62 kilograms This year’s tournament took place in the are a bit bigger than I am. My vision of 2020 wrestling hotbed of Nur-Sultan, Kazakhstan, became clearer as I started picturing myself the remote national capital previously known wrestling at 57 kilograms. I’m lean, and I feel as Astana. I don’t know as much as I might powerful, fast, and strong. I’m able to move want to about Russo-Kazakh politics, but my body through techniques easier than when it’s not difficult to imagine a partisan crowd I’m carrying an extra four kilograms of fat. I’m in Nur-Sultan taking in a contest pitting a confident in my abilities and I’m ready to see plucky Canadian against a wrestler from what I can do out there!”

Kazakhstan’s historically dominant neighI’m not sure anybody needs or wants to bour. Morais, who calls this year’s tournahear another straight male writer ruminate ment “the best I’ve been to so far,” permits about the way a young woman looks, but the me to imagine this scenario aloud, but can body is a difficult subject to avoid when you’re neither confirm nor deny my suspicions. a woman who wrestles for a living.

“Tecum-suh, Ontario, throwing one heck of a party tonight!” crows the commentator.

“Honestly, I don’t know at all,” she admits.

You know you’ve made it when you hear “Everything you’ve just mentioned would the name of your hometown mangled on throw me off my game. Going into the match, national television. all I could hear was my coach. That’s the “A lot can happen in three minutes,” recalls special thing about sports: you tend to zone Morais, a couple months removed. “Instead of out the crowd.” panicking, which I’ve often done in the past, I Today, Morais’s focus is on Tokyo 2020. was able to keep my cool and my composure.

When she went in for that last attack, I was “In my opinion nothing compares to the able to feel that she was off balance. Had I been Olympics,” she stresses. “That is the big goal more worked up or upset or kind of rushing, I that I’ve had for quite some time now. For an don’t think I would have caught that moment athlete to be able to peak on that one day every to capitalize on that mistake.” four years is just absolutely incredible.”

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“People look at female athletes a certain way,” notes Morais when I ask her about the public perception of what she does. “So many times, people say, ‘You don’t look anything like a wrestler.’ I’ll say, Really? What does a wrestler look like?”

Morais looks exactly like a wrestler insofar as she is one, but you can perhaps see where the incredulity comes from. Standing at about five-foot-six, Morais carries her taut, typically proportioned frame almost inconspicuously.

If you overlook the enviable muscle definition,

ATHLETIC DRIVE

People look at female athletes a certain way. So many times, people say, ‘You don’t look anything like a wrestler.’

I’ll say, Really? What does a wrestler look like?

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ATHLETIC DRIVE

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ATHLETIC DRIVE

It is a combat sport, but it’s very technical. You’re not trying to hurt your opponent. We try to win with techniques, and with finesse.

you can easily imagine her as, say, your friend’s dad always thought I was extremely strong. He just saw fight and strength in my character, daughter from Tecumseh.

“It’s not necessarily true that the typical I guess.” Sure enough, Morais joined the wrestler looks like a macho, manly dude,” she school’s “baby wrestling” program in Grade continues. “There are a lot of negative stereo- 8, quickly establishing herself as a standout at the high school level. types associated with the sport, which I’d like After graduation, Morais chose to attend to break.”

Concordia University due to the strength of It’s an admirable goal. While Windsorites its wrestling program and the opportunity have woven a surprisingly thick web of connecto train at Montreal’s YM-YWHA Wrestling tions across the WWE-style “professional Club under coaches Victor and Dave wrestling” world—scare quotes very much Zilberman and Martine Dugrenier. intentional—few would call it an amateur Currently, Morais receives Sport Canada wrestling hotbed. funding, which allows her to focus full time “A lot of people, when they think of on wrestling. She left Concordia with a Master wrestling, think of a scary, gory match with a of Science in Exercise Science with a minor lot of hitting,” says Morais, who notes that the in Education, but not before capturing World possibility of injury scares many parents away University Championship gold medals in 2016 from the sport. “It is a combat sport, but it’s and 2018. Morais is now working towards a very technical. You’re not trying to hurt your Master of Education at the University of opponent. We try to win with techniques, and Montreal, aiming to soon qualify to teach high with finesse.” school science and technology.

Morais first encountered wrestling in There is a tendency to write and talk about middle school, during an orientation day for women’s sports in terms of their inspirational incoming students at L’Essor. “It was actually potential as representative figures rather than my dad who walked into the wrestling their actual athletic success. This is regrettable, portable,” she recalls. “For some reason, he but we’d feel remiss if we didn’t ask about how immediately thought I’d excel at the sport.”

Morais’s gender has coloured her experience This hunch was not built on pure conjecture. “I was always an active child,” says Morais, who played soccer and volleyball in her youth and made a habit of beating her male cousins in arm-wrestling contests. “My THEDRIVEMAGAZINE.COM

respected by the men in the sport.” In fact, as Sport Canada funding is determined based on international performance, female Canadian wrestlers receive more financial support than their male counterparts.

While it seems strange to describe somebody born after the release of Jurassic Park as a wily veteran, Morais is approaching the point in her career where a grapple with Father Time is not a million miles away. She intends to compete through the 2020 Olympic cycle and then reassess her options. “I do feel like I’m in my prime right now,” she says. “I feel like I could continue in the sport—like I have more in me—but there is really no way of telling. I don’t know how much longer my body will be able to put up with this.”

After her athletic career wraps up, whenever that may be, Morais hopes to move back to Essex County. Wrestling doesn’t have much of an off-season, but she tries to make it home as often as she can—typically a couple times a year—to spend time with her parents, brother, and niece and nephew.

“One of my dream jobs would be to work at a high school and take over or start a wrestling program,” she notes. “So, if anybody of amateur athletics. Refreshingly, there’s not is hiring …” much of a story here. “Canadian women have If Morais bets on herself, my money is always been strong contenders on the international stage,” she notes, “and I believe that on her achieving what she envisions. Just ask because of our consistent success, we are well the Russians. D 23

ATHLETIC DRIVE

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ATHLETIC DRIVE

CHAMPION BOXER TURNED COACH Changing the way women are viewed in the industry

By Kimberly Love Photographs by Syx Langemann

Kara Ro keeps a photo on her phone as inspiration. She was working as a boxing coach in the ring with a male fighter, helping him with his sparring. The photo went up on social media, and immediately someone posted, “He has a girl padding him, haha,” as if the male fighter couldn’t possibly be very strong if he was sparring with a woman.

Little did that commenter know they were talking about the one-time Women’s International Boxing Association lightweight champion.

Now a retired boxer and working as a boxing and Mixed Martial Arts coach, training elite boxers and Ultimate Fighting Championship fighters, Ro says she doesn’t mind that people underestimate her—she enjoys using people’s expectations against them, like her secret weapon.

Ro’s start in the industry came as almost a fluke—when her boyfriend made it onto the Florida Panthers and was encouraged to take THEDRIVEMAGAZINE.COM

up boxing, she learned it with him—but once she started training, she immediately loved it.

She says there is a certain chess match strategy that comes with boxing and she loved the mental game of strategizing her moves to get a win.

When she arrived on the scene, she was one of the only females on a team of males.

It is hard for any woman in her position to go up against men because, as she explains, it’s as if men don’t expect you to be any good or be able to keep up to them. She was determined to prove herself and show the men in the industry that she had earned her right to be there. “There is extra pressure on a woman to perform,” Ro explained. “I had to be better every single day. I wanted to look as talented technique-wise as the guys did.”

The only fight that she ever lost in her career was one where she didn’t believe in herself, she says. That loss, during her amateur career, has followed her into her career as a trainer. She works to makes sure that her 25

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Find a role model that you can believe in and ignore the rest. If you can’t find a role model, then you need to be that role model.

fighters not only believe in their abilities but also become the best at what they do. Ro has excelled not just because of her sparring techniques, but because she’s tough as nails. In a professional career of 17 wins and 0 losses, she also boasts an astounding 150 to 200 underground fights under her belt where she was matched with fighters up to 200 pounds who perform with very few rules. Being in the arena of underground fighting is not for the faint of heart, but it was something that not only strengthened Ro’s skills as a professional fighter, but gave her more confidence as one.

she earned the respect of the people around her when they saw what she could do during training sessions, things the students had never learned before. “Once you start making people better, you get instant respect,” she says.

“I desire to show my fighters their potential and I want them to be better than they think they could be.” Ro even trained as a coach while she was pregnant, holding pads and cornering her fighters when Fight Night arrived.

Like in many industries, when you are the only female, you have to work twice as hard to earn respect because others will think so much less of you in the beginning. When she first arrived as a trainer, she discovered that students and other trainers expected her to work with women only. But Ro wanted to show the world that she could train a man just as well as the male trainers could. As soon as the others saw her working with the male fighters, any perceptions they had that she wouldn’t be good enough were quickly dashed.

the comment that bothered her—she could handle that—but the idea that the commenter was taunting women. Seeing comments like that one remind Ro that she and other women in the any male-dominated field still have a long way to go. A colleague of hers says, “She knows her stuff and that’s all that matters,” and Ro hopes that type of opinion of women in sports will become the norm.

Ro remembers a time when a young girl approached her after seeing her train a fighter and told her, “I never thought I would see a girl teach a boy how to box.” Moments like this one make it all worthwhile, Ro says, especially as she herself tries to raise her daughter to be strong and confident. “One of the best moments that I had was when I walked in on my daughter flexing in front of a mirror,” she laughs. Ro has raised her daughter and son around the gym, and they often will watch from the sidelines during coaching sessions.

She took that confidence into her new career as a coach in the early 2000s. She hung up her boxing gloves and brought her passion for the sport into training other fighters. Her first fighter was a local one, Mary Spencer, who throughout her career won World titles and earned her place in the Olympics. Ro trains fighters in both Canada and the United States—it’s clear when you see her working that One thing that she hopes to change the fighters that she trains hold her in high And that’s why Ro keeps that photo on in the industry is the assumption that a esteem. When I asked her how she managed her phone as inspiration. It wasn’t so much girl in the ring holding pads must be “the to get that level of respect, she explained that 26

ATHLETIC DRIVE

One thing that she hopes to change in the industry is the assumption that a girl in the ring holding pads must be “the girlfriend” or the fighter’s chiropractor.

girlfriend” or the fighter’s chiropractor. Ro faces this often and finds it frustrating that some people perceive her in this way instead of the professional and multi-talented trainer that she is. A man training a fighter in the ring would never be questioned in that way, she says. “One day,” she adds with a smile, “I’m going to be known around the world.

And then maybe people won’t be surprised to see a girl in a fighter’s corner.”

Ro is moving into the training world full time and growing more as a coach with both boxers and MMA fighters. She wants to become more well-known all over the world in order to change the way that women are viewed in sports.

“Find a role model to look up to,” she says.

“Don’t succumb to the no’s around you or the naysayers. Find a role model that you can believe in and ignore the rest. If you can’t find a role model, then you need to be that role model. Be the first person that takes the step forward for others to follow you. That’s your job now.” D THEDRIVEMAGAZINE.COM

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PEOPLE DRIVE

FROM TRAUMA TO TRIUMPH How three human trafficking survivors are healing through their advocacy

By Vivien Fellegi Photographs by Syx Langemann

Victoria Morrison was on autopilot the day she escaped. As her john pulled up to the curb, her body was seized with the urge to run.

She sprinted to his car, jumped in, and begged the driver to take her to the police station.

“He’s gonna kill me!” she shouted.

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PEOPLE DRIVE

“What? Is there someone in there?” her of dependence, the predators slough off the client asked.

Romeo act and pimp out the girls for their The john was confused. He had never met own profit.

Canada has a Canadian Anti-Human Trafficking Awareness Day, every February 22.

On Tuesday, July 30, 2019, Project OnRoute was launched as Project Maple Leaf by Courage For Freedom at the Trenton South OnRoute on Highway 401 in Quinte West, an initiative to create more awareness about human trafficking and its effects.

Heather Ellis is the Project Maple Leaf's co-lead and said the campaign is to create awareness about human trafficking, and will be rolled out nationally and on social media.

To report incidents of human trafficking, sexual exploitation or forced prostitution, call the Canadian Centre to End Human Trafficking hotline at 1.833.900.1010 #knowhumantrafficking

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Morrison’s captor, and had always assumed she Labour traffickers perpetrate a different was servicing him voluntarily. kind of hoax. They target poverty-ridden men Nothing could be further from the truth. from foreign countries, luring them here with Far from being a free agent selling herself for offers of lucrative work. Once they arrive in quick cash, Morrison had been kidnapped by Canada, alone and unable to speak English, a human trafficker, forced into prostitution, the traffickers bully their victims into working and kept in line with violence. She was, essen- for free, or at best a fraction of the agreedupon salary. tially, a slave.

This entrapment in abuse can lead to Morrison’s john isn’t the only one who’s trauma, a condition that emerges when clued out. Many Canadians would be our coping strategies are exhausted by an hard-pressed to explain the difference between overwhelming threat. Since victims’ brains voluntary sex work and human trafficking. can’t fully integrate the experience, it can While some women choose to ply the come back to haunt them long after they’re trade, most are prisoners toiling to line physically safe. their captors’ pockets, says Joy Smith, presiVictims may react differently to the same dent of the Joy Smith Foundation (www. forces.

Many respond to their betrayal by joysmithfoundation.com), which advocates losing faith in others and withdrawing from on behalf of trafficking victims. And the sex society.

The traffickers’ systematic degradation trade isn’t the only target of these predators— can wear down victims’ self-esteem and erode human traffickers also leech off foreign-born their ability to act.

As their options dwindle, labourers. Coercion is the common denomimany succumb to depression.

Others escape nator in both rackets. mentally by switching off their feelings and Both sex and labour trafficking are becoming numb. As the stress chips away flourishing in our backyards. According to at their being, victims’ identities can come Statistics Canada, there were 340 incidents unglued until they lose sight of who they are. of human trafficking in the country in 2016, While recovery patterns vary, many can and these numbers have been steadily rising rebuild the pieces of their “shattered self,” says over the last decade. Two-thirds of victims Linder.

Self-compassion—taking stock of your were recruited domestically. (Due to underneeds and nurturing them—is the first step reporting, however, these numbers underestitowards wholeness.

A therapist can help survimate the prevalence of the practice.) vors access buried emotions and then process Although public awareness of modern-day them. Building a supportive network is crucial slavery is increasing, there’s still a long way to to help survivors regain trust in humanity. go. “Human trafficking is such a shocking, Speaking out about their experiences alien concept,” says Jacqui Linder, a registered puts survivors in charge of their narrative, psychologist and Executive Director of the while listeners’ empathic reactions can help Chrysalis Anti-Human Trafficking Network them feel human again, says Linder. Eventuin Edmonton. Overwhelmed by the gravity of ally, survivors need to find a new sense of the issue, people often turn away. purpose to steer their emerging identity, says Meanwhile, experts are honing in on Linder. Advocating against human trafficking traffickers’ tactics. Sex traffickers target is one way to transform their suffering into predominantly young girls (ages 12-14) who something meaningful. “That can help to heal may have low self-esteem and are easy to the wounds,” says Linder. manipulate, says Smith. “When a young cute Meet three human trafficking victimsguy promises them the world, it turns their heads.” Once they’ve isolated victims from turned-crusaders whose advocacy is helping loved ones and caught them in the clamp them heal.

PEOPLE DRIVE

“Be careful, there’s a loser outside, he’s screaming and yelling,” a Toronto waiter tells human trafficking advocate Timea Nagy as she enters a pub on a sweltering summer day. Instead of heeding the warning, she goes outside and finds the homeless man picking up cigarettes. He stops, embarrassed.

brash alter ego she called “Allison,” someone who could tough her way through anything.

Nagy did eventually flee. But it took years before she forgave herself for the “poor choices” that had almost destroyed her. An article about human trafficking finally broke through her self-recrimination and let her She looks him in the eyes. “Are you OK?” shift the blame onto her abusers. “I became a survivor when I was first able to comprehend “Why the fuck would you care?” what happened to me.”

“I’m sorry, but I do—you look sad. Can I Her new self-compassion kindled a drive to get you anything?” assist others. Nagy began sharing her story to “No, but thanks for asking.” boost public awareness of human trafficking.

Nagy feels the man’s plight viscerally. The talks revived her buried feelings and “I was invisible too; I was a ghost.” Her restored her stifled voice. Caring listeners also recently published memoir, Out of the eased her alienation. “I realized that it’s not Shadows, relates her harrowing ordeal as a that society didn’t want me; it’s that they didn’t know what was going on.” victim of sexual trafficking.

Nagy’s growing advocacy generated a Nagy’s journey began in 1998 when the mission for her maturing new self. She started then-20-year-old Hungarian was close to finanteaching police how to spot and speak to frightcial ruin. Her mother was the only one who ened trafficking victims, and branched out to might have rescued her, but Nagy couldn’t educate schools, the tourist industry, banks, bear disappointing her habitually disparaging and other institutions intersecting with predaparent. So when Nagy read a newspaper ad for tors and their targets. Nagy’s efforts have even a well-paying babysitter position in Canada, she changed some of Canada’s human trafficking rushed to the recruiter and signed the contract. laws. These successes have reinforced her It was a snare. After arriving in Toronto, dedication to victims. “That’s my purpose—to Nagy discovered that the agreement, written in change the world for the next generation.”

English (a language she didn’t speak) specified Nagy’s crusade has already redeemed her “exotic dancer” rather than nanny. Moreover, own life. In 2010, the RCMP asked for her her “agents” insisted she fulfill her obligation assistance with recently released Hungarian in order to work off fabricated expenditures. labour trafficking victims. As she translated Anxious and alone, the perpetual people for the starved, scared men, she saw herself in pleaser didn’t question them. their eyes and knew intuitively what they were A nightmare followed. Nagy was held at going through. And, for the first time, she a cheap motel, fed only one meal a day, and recognized that her suffering had meaning— forced to dance in stiletto heels and little else it had equipped her to care for others. Nagy for up to 19-hour shifts. She was also tasked drew on this compassion to reconcile with her with “entertaining” VIP visitors at all hours of own flawed but fragile mother.

Today Nagy continues to leverage her the day or night. Leaving was not an option, as empathy in the service of human trafficking her traffickers threatened to harm her family victims.

“I want to see them like nobody should she try to escape. saw me.” Nagy employs them in her social Her captors’ mind games also kept her in enterprise, Timea’s Cause (www.timeascause. bondage. Nagy, accustomed to her mother’s com), which supplies educational consultants criticism, absorbed labels like “you’re a nobody,” and produces a line of handmade beauty and or “you’re a loser,” and allowed the traffickers bath products. The work teaches the girls life to sell her body. But with each violation, her skills and bolsters their confidence. Nagy gets shame mounted and weakened her will. a high every time one of them succeeds. “I Nagy’s only refuge was her mind. She shut love seeing them achieving their goals—it’s away her “good girl” self and turned into a just absolutely amazing.”

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TIMEA NAGY

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TAMAS MIKO

There were two options: either you get badly beaten up or you do this

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Tamas Miko was terrified as he approached the stately courthouse in Hamilton on a cold day in 2012. As the wind buffeted his skinny frame, he started to shake. He turned to his friend. “Let’s get out of here,” he said. “No, you can do this,” she replied.

He got his chance. Christmas 2009 was the last straw for Miko, who spent the holiday working until 3 a.m. without a break. “We were freezing to death; they were sitting inside the house having fun.” A few days later, Miko exposed his situation to a contractor, It turns out Miko had good reason for fear. who called the RCMP. Shortly afterwards, a The brutes who had used 19 Hungarians as constable took him to a shelter. slave labour in their construction business But though he regained his freedom, had hired a hitman to knock off the crown Miko was no longer the easygoing extrovert attorney, two RCMP officers, and Miko—the star witness against them. Luckily the assassin he’d once been. Not only has he become suspicious of others, but he also berates was caught before leaving Hungary. himself for his guardedness.

Miko doesn’t know what gave him the A few special people have broken through courage to defy the largest known human his barriers.

Timea Nagy, summoned by the trafficking ring in Canadian history. But when the judge convicted all 22 of the accused, RCMP to help the men, was one of them. he was glad he stuck around. “I knew these Nagy translated for the group, bought them people won’t hurt anybody else,” he says. “I clothes, and made them feel human again. felt really good.”

“Because she had a similar experience, she Miko’s ordeal began with a promise. 100% understood what’s going on.” She even Unemployed for months, he was desperate introduced him to WeFight, an initiative by for work and welcomed the acquaintance who Legal Assistance of Windsor that aids victims showed up on his doorstep offering a construc- of human trafficking. tion job paying thousands of dollars a month WeFight social worker Shelley Gilbert at her brother-in-law’s Hamilton company. became another trusted ally. Gilbert helped Miko had worked odd jobs for the “nice” Miko with material needs, and later, after he woman from his small town in Hungary, and didn’t question her sincerity. “OK, I’m mastered English, she offered him counselling and guidance. coming,” he told her.

Miko has also benefitted from painting The dream rapidly turned to dust. The and music, which have become outlets for unsuspecting Miko found himself enslaved by a ruthless family-run crime ring. His trafficker self-expression. took away his passport and ordered him to His own advocacy is another route to pay off his airfare as well as the fee for his recovery. Encouraged by Gilbert, Miko has recruiter. But though he toiled from dawn to dusk, the debt didn’t budge and he never given several talks on labour trafficking, which have earned him praise. More importantly, the earned a penny. crusader is comforted knowing he’s making a Miko and his fellows were crammed into difference. “I’m sure I saved some people by a dark, unfinished basement, fed only one sharing my story,” he says. “I feel good about it.” meal a day, and were even instructed to clean Today Miko’s life is far from ideal. He still their captor’s “big-ass house” while the owners partied and drank. “They saw me like a piece struggles with anxiety and mistrust. But he’s of bread—a thing, not a person.” tilted towards the future, working midnight The mobster didn’t brook dissent. “There shifts at a Kitchener bakery and saving up for were two options: either you get badly beaten college. In the long run he hopes to become a professional videographer. The creative up or you do this.” process yanks him out of his painful past and But beneath his compliant surface, Miko was quietly hunting for an escape hatch. I’ll do positions him facing forward. “It keeps my what I have to and find a way to get the hell out of mind not thinking about other stuff,” he says.

“I love doing it.” here, he thought.

PEOPLE DRIVE

Victoria Morrison’s soft voice rings with conviction as she addresses police and other human trafficking advocates at the Winnipeg police headquarters this past fall. Drawing on her own therapeutic encounter with the Winnipeg police force, she highlights the need for compassion when dealing with traumatized trafficking victims. When she looks up, she notices a few burly men furtively wiping away tears. One of them tells her afterwards, “You’ll teach a lot of officers a lot of good information that they will carry through their careers.”

An unfamiliar emotion washes over Morrison: pride. “These are the same people who helped save my life; now I get to give back,” she says. “It’s a full circle moment.”

No one could have predicted this trajectory. Morrison grew up close to her middleclass family, worked hard at school, and enrolled at the University of Windsor. But a whirlwind of parties swept her from her studies and got her hooked on drugs. Her burgeoning addiction cost Morrison her job at a strip club, and she became homeless and hopeless. “I thought I was going to be doing drugs until I died.”

That’s when Morrison met the man who swooped in like a saviour. Her future trafficker offered her rent-free lodging and romance.

“He was nice to me—he would laugh and joke.”

But it wasn’t long before the criminal with the hair-trigger temper began to assault her.

When she tried to break up with him in May 2018, he whisked her off to Winnipeg, miles from anyone who cared.

A hellish existence ensued. Her trafficker advertised her sexual services, listening behind the bedroom door as she gratified one man after another. He kept her in line with ever-evolving tools of torture: hot-iron burns, electrocution, and even confinement in a freezer.

The relentless punishment chipped away at her volition and plunged her into apathy.

Even in public places, when she might have escaped, she didn’t try.

As her defences dwindled, Morrison absorbed her pimp’s dehumanization. “Being trafficked, that was my purpose… I had no self-worth.”

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VICTORIA MORRISON 35

PEOPLE DRIVE Eventually, the stress crumbled her very identity until she couldn’t think for herself anymore. “I had no opinions—I was always just there.”

But something in her still kept fighting.

One day in August 2018, after her trafficker had beaten her black and blue, he told her she was useless for work and then threatened to do away with her damaged body. Morrison knew he was serious. She thought to herself, The second he turns his back I need to get out. That was the day she fled.

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And started healing. Shocked by the extent of her injuries, the police sent her to hospital, where they brought her snacks and guarded her door. These first acts of kindness were reparative. “I saw how the police responded to me, and I thought I am worth it, I am worth being saved.”

Morrison has been piecing together her shattered self ever since. Back in Windsor, WeFight’s Gillian Golden referred her to a rehab program. Afterwards, the worker found Morrison a therapist who furnished her with tools to manage her moods.

Morrison has also wrested back her stolen power. Impressed with her rapid progress, Golden encouraged her to try public speaking.

At one of her first talks, Morrison teamed up with Miko at a Windsor panel marking Human Trafficking Awareness Day. Telling her tale has sped her progress from victim to survivor. “Everyone tells me how brave I am and that reiterates how I feel about myself.”

Morrison included these victories in her victim impact statement presented at her trafficker’s trial. “I wanted him to know that in this situation I’m empowered and he is not.”

Assisting other survivors gives Morrison a purpose and an anchor for her emerging new identity. “I’m doing so much good with the bad that happened to me.” Morrison volunteers at WeFight’s support group for survivors, where her firsthand understanding fosters their participation and her “comeback” tale gives them hope.

Morrison’s story is already changing lives. Several human trafficking victims have reached out to WeFight and asked for help after hearing one of Morrison’s interviews in the press. “It feels amazing that I can potentially save people’s lives,” says Morrison.

“That’s all I want to do.”

Human Trafficking hotline 1.833.900.1010 36

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HEALTH DRIVE

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HEALTH DRIVE

WARNING: EATING DISORDERS AHEAD How parents can spot the signs and symptoms in children

By Katrina Manzocco

If your child had an eating disorder, would you know it? Most parents would like to think that they would. After all, who should know their child better those who raised them?

The truth, however, is more complicated. Eating disorders develop earlier than many would anticipate, driven by a host of factors, many of which are situational, acutely psychological, and hereditary.

Jennifer White, a local family-based therapist specializing in trauma and disordered eating, shares her findings of potential triggers in young people and the important signs for which parents should remain vigilant.

CANDIDATES FOR EATING DISORDERS White recalls that her first role out of graduate school was within a disordered eating unit inside a community health centre. The experiences she had in this role were incredibly impactful; years later, she continues to provide highly specialized counselling to clients with eating disorders and the psychological challenges that accompany them.

The crossovers between mental health issues such as OCD, trauma, depression, and eating disorders are common, says White, particularly in female clients. Males are typically less likely to identify eating disorders in themselves and seek treatment, but the pressure on boys and men to adhere to a certain body standard is definitely increasing.

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HEALTH DRIVE “The male images seen in the media are more and more outside the range of normal in the same way the female images are unrealistic,” says White.

White cites that boys are more likely to do things like use steroids and seek out other methods that are unnatural or unhealthy to try to attain a physical ideal. In this way, many boys are at risk in the same way girls are.

THE CAUSE OF DISORDERED EATING It should be noted that eating disorders themselves are a psychological disorder. Weight, culture, and socioeconomic status are not factors in determining who will develop disordered eating—these illnesses do not discriminate.

The legitimate risk factors that determine who develops an eating disorder are multifaceted. White says that the most challenging part of identifying the causes of eating disorders is their variability: the same exposure to the same factors and experiences are likely to impact individuals differently.

Considering image and the ideals that society presents to us, it’s easy to see social media as a scapegoat—especially with the rise of the filtered, edited Instagram models of recent times.

“The internet is a tool that can be used positively and destructively—it allows us to find community, which, depending on the situation, could be healthy or unhealthy. Kids are very media literate and if parents aren’t able to police their activity fast enough, what they see can influence their self-esteem before they can be shielded from it.”

Social media isn’t the only source of concern when it comes to developing disordered eating. Environment is a large contributor to the potential development of disordered eating.

precursor to what would eventually become an eating disorder. “The earliest I can remember feeling that I needed to lose weight was a doctor’s appointment in fourth grade. I was told that I was in the 95th percentile for age and weight, meaning I was on the obese side,” says McKay. “Nobody seemed to consider how active I was or what my muscle mass was—they just looked at my BMI chart. I didn’t think there was anything wrong with me before this, but something in me changed. I felt like I was wrong, and this feeling didn’t go away.”

with my parents; the possibility of a restaurant not having any ‘safe’ foods made my anxiety flare.”

“Diets often start with young people wanting to feel better, so they cut sugar. Then they eliminate processed food, and then might decrease portions, and eventually skip entire meals. None of these young people ever intend to have an eating disorder and don’t realize that it could happen from a diet. They figure diets are everywhere, how could they be harmful?” White says that ‘lifestyles’ of specific eating practices walk a fine line between being healthy and unhealthy.

they used to enjoy and you address this with them, an emotional reaction from them could be a major tell,” says White.

“Another behaviour to note would be them making food they used to like and serving it to others, but not partaking themselves.

Be watchful if children suddenly opt out of wanting to attend food-related events, like birthday parties or family dinners.”

“When you take ‘clean eating’ behaviours and these diets to the extreme, they can become a form of orthorexia,” says White, referring to a disorder whereby someone begins to display obsessive behaviours and anxiety when it comes to eating. “If the diet is unsustainable and doesn’t allow for normal socializing, we see it as restrictive and problematic as it can create an unhealthy relationship Family can also serve as an area of concern with food.” surrounding development of eating disorders.

Studies have shown that genetic loading is SPOT THE SIGNS a significant contributing factor in eating Some traits can serve as indicators of who disorder manifestation. A 2017 study in particmight be at risk for developing eating disorular illustrates that the risk of developing an ders.

One that White cites is perfectionism. eating disorder has a considerable ancestral component—inheriting copies of damaged McKay echoes this sentiment in sharing genetics exacerbates the risk of developing her own experiences. “My eating disorder these illnesses. reached its peak in my junior year of Beyond genetic loading, family dynamics high school—influenced by the stresses of and behavioural patterns also play a role as competing on a demanding swim team and a risk factor for the development of eating preparing for university applications. I felt disorders—family stressors can act as a major overwhelmed, and my eating and exercise trigger for those already susceptible to devel- were the two areas of my life I could control.”

For parents curious about how they can spot oping them. signs and symptoms in disordered eating in children, White notes that there are certain WHERE TO DRAW THE LINE BETWEEN HEALTHY surprising tells that we should all remain AND HARMFUL HABITS watchful of in young people.

Triggers can seem somewhat innocuous, “If children are seen to be self-isolating, something as simple as a diet—a major reason becoming more withdrawn and less social why White is not supportive of young people after making diet changes, this could be a participating in them. warning sign. If a child begins cutting out food

Histories of trauma and bullying are major contributors—not necessarily through what has happened to us, but more how traumas might change our view of ourselves and our world.

One child might be resilient to a traumatic McKay shares that as her eating became experience, whereas another might deeply disordered, what could be viewed as ‘healthy internalize it. habits’ from the outside were anything but— Emotional sensitivity and temperament something even her parents were unable to can be the key differentiators in whether or detect. “I hid what I wasn’t eating under the not these situational factors materialize as guise of ‘vegetarianism.’ This generally allowed causes of eating disorder development. me to opt out of eating things that I felt were Chloe McKay, a graduate student in fattening—basically I was eating ultra-healthy her mid-twenties, recalls the first time she to the point where I didn’t touch anything I felt dissatisfied with her body as a child, a deemed ‘unsafe.’ I stopped going out to dinner 42

McKay adds, “Pay attention to the foods your kid is eating, not just if they’re eating.

Eating disorders don’t always look the way you expect them to.”

If ever in doubt, the safest thing to do is seek medical attention—particularly if you notice rapid weight loss in your child.

HEALTHY EATING HABITS START AT HOME White urges parents to encourage the type of healthy behaviours they want their kids to

HEALTH DRIVE exhibit—this begins with holding up a mirror to their own habits.

She implores parents to not body shame themselves in front of their kids, who are incredibly perceptive. Parents should refrain from demonizing food or celebrate dieting—moralizing what foods or good or bad is more nefarious than many of us would expect.

Instead, White encourages parents to frame healthy foods as options we want more of, in contrast to less healthy foods we want less of.

Removing the stigma surrounding certain foods can take away the power they wield over those trapped in dieting and disordered eating cycles.

The male images seen in the media are more and more outside the range of normal in the same way the female images are unrealistic.

—Jennifer White

The most effective way for parents to combat the development of eating disorders in children is to have a good relationship with their kids.

During early years, through to puberty and into adolescence, it’s essential to teach young people to appreciate what their bodies do—their capabilities and what they allow us to experience.

“Gen X and millennial parents want to have a new conversation with their kids. Rather than having appearance-focused conversations about what is and isn’t good enough, a value-based perspective on kindness, working hard, and what our bodies can help us do is the better approach.”

If parents are worried about their kids’ exercise levels or potential to be overweight, the solution is to make sure healthy opportunities and options are available to children.

“Does the kid have access to fun, active activities they enjoy? Does the kid have access to a wide variety of healthy foods? These are the responsibilities of a parent,” says White.

“The best practice for those outside of the growth curve is to grow into their weight instead of dieting. If something, including bodily appearance and weight, isn’t a problem to a kid, then don’t worry too much about it or make an issue out of it.”

White shares that the first step in helping kids develop resilience to the things that might trigger an eating disorder is for parents to create an environment of trust and acceptance. This includes being sensitive to your child’s stress level and knowing when they’re overprogrammed, making sure you have downtime for them to relax, reflect, and recharge.

“A household where it’s okay to talk about emotions, feelings, and needs and give voice to emotions is essential—knowing parents will listen and validate is a big protective factor for kids.” D THEDRIVEMAGAZINE.COM

Jennifer White, family-based therapist

Photograph by Syx Langemann 43

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HEALTH DRIVE

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HEALTH DRIVE

LOVING YOUR

body

50 AFTER

Why are older women enduring the same body image issues they went through as teenagers?

By Katrina Manzocco

As a society we’re led to believe that the insecurities and self-consciousness of our younger years were, thankfully, a passing phase. Throughout our adolescence we’re assured that we’ll come into ourselves as we age, shedding our self-doubt and emerging confident, secure, and free of bodily worries.

The realities of this can be very different for some—recent findings demonstrate that body image concerns can be a very present concern for women in their fifties.

Often classified as a decidedly youthful concern—and particularly a concern of women— struggles with our appearances don’t fade with age. Quietly, a significant number of women are suffering from acute body image issues that continue into their later years.

As we age many of us gain the confidence and self-assurance our younger selves longed for.

So what is it that would prompt a reversal of this progress?

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HEALTH DRIVE

A body image problem is a brain problem, not a body problem,” says White. “It all comes down to how we think we should look compared to how we actually look. We’re really not that great at self-evaluating.

—Jennifer White

AN AGELESS CONCERN

it’s because older women typically feel more comes down to how we think we should look Body image problems are, unfortunately, ashamed to talk about these concerns and as compared to how we actually look. We’re common. It is estimated that at least 92 a result, have been historically less likely to really not that great at self-evaluating.” percent of women will experience a body image come forward.

White mentions nearly all of her clients problem at some point in their lives, and take Many women continue to feel their weight agree that their perceived body image shifts measures to correct it through diet and exercise. and shape play a moderate to important role faster than our bodies could possibly change— It is also estimated that 2 to 3 percent of these in dictating their ability to self-love; it’s a large how else could we explain being seemingly fine women will develop an eating disorder. part of their identity over which they feel they with our bodies one day, and then disgusted by them the next?

The general consensus in the past has been have less control, particularly as they age. that young people are the most susceptible to Women in their fifties find themselves this—pressures from peers, social media, and in an age of change, as they transition into hormonal changes are the usual scapegoats. another role in their lives. When children This idea doesn’t capture the entirety of become more independent, with some leaving body image issues, which are often discussed home, many mothers struggle to redefine or but not completely understood. Jennifer White, re-evaluate themselves. Some individuals who a family-based therapist in Windsor, shares wanted children but did not have them may that body image issues are not limited by age, also go through a transition of the end of their childbearing years, as that chapter in their despite what we commonly see represented. lives comes to a close.

“We know that body image improves “Any time of transition can set us up for through our twenties and into our thirties, but mental health challenges if we’re not mindful then dips again after the age of 55, and are and purposeful about who we want to be as we seen more commonly now in women experigo through it,” says White. encing menopause. Approximately 70 percent of women over 50 are actively trying to lose “We as a society don’t have a lot of converweight or dieting, and view their appearance sations about the challenges of these changes as very influential in their self-worth.” for older women, or the importance of our Medical professionals report seeing an own value systems and making sure not to uptick in reported body image concerns overvalue things like appearance.” for older generations, demonstrating a greater range in age groups than previously observed. Why has this notion been previously unknown? In part, White explains, 48

She also explains that these body image challenges often boil down to emotional discomfort or physical discomfort. Any time a client is experiencing challenges facing body image, White urges them to realize that it really isn’t about how we look.

“I encourage people to ask themselves, ‘Am I anxious, uncomfortable, physically stressed, or tired? Am I retaining more water than usual?’ These are the real things happening,” says White. “Here’s a solution to some of those specific issues: change into comfier clothes and try to worry less.”

When questioned about how age changes our specific body image concerns, White explains that it doesn’t really. She shares that the body image issues her female clients struggle with do not discriminate. “Ninety-five percent of the time, regardless of age, shape, weight, or height, women will say their problem BRAIN VS. BODY ISSUES areas are stomachs, hips, and thighs. These are “A body image problem is a brain problem, the complaints across the board. These tend to not a body problem,” says White. “It all be what women really are upset about.”

HEALTH DRIVE

FIVE THINGS HEALTHY PEOPLE DON’T DO White shares several of tell-tale signs that body image issues might be prevalent, negative behaviours that should be avoided, and what to remember if troubled by these concerns.

1. COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHERS It’s a no-win game, says White. “We compare ourselves to people who meet our standard. If you set out to compare yourself, you’ll end up feeling worse.”

If you find yourself going down the compare-and-despair route, stop yourself.

2. PICKING YOURSELF APART Body image dissatisfaction includes self-scrutiny even before actually seeing ourselves in the mirror. “When we go looking for something, we’ll find it, even if it’s not really there. We’re not pieces and parts; so don’t reduce yourself to these. Evaluate yourself positively.”

3. ENGAGING IN NEGATIVE BODY TALK White has trained everyone she knows to be kinder to themselves. “I will overhear conversations between women. They’ll compliment others and put themselves down.” White urges us to redirect our topics of choice. “Negative body talk is toxic and serves nobody. Find a new topic—or, if this is inescapable due to your social circle, find new friends.”

4. HIDING Sometimes we need to fake it until we make it, but we are naturally drawn to confident people, so we should strive to exude that same confidence. “Stand up straight, smile, and have confidence. Whatever you got, you’ve got to own it. Be unapologetic and people will respond positively.”

5. DIETING “Don’t delude yourself into thinking you’ll be happy at X pounds. You’ll be happy when you treat yourself best.”

COMBAT THE RETURN OF BODY IMAGE ISSUES Menopause happens around the same time as other physiological changes, as well as family and job structure changes—it’s a major transitional era.

These dramatic lifestyle transitions can feel like loss, and this often prompts the return of psychological challenges, including body image issues. According to White, the key to managing body image concerns during the transitions we all encounter in our later years comes down to growth and security in who we are.

“Instead of having these external labels as ‘mother’ or ‘professional’ defining our identity, it’s important to know yourself and go into these years not with the framework of loss, but a growth mindset,” says White. “Think about who you want to be.

Define yourself outside of the label of wife, mom, and what you did in the workplace. ” As we come into this next phase of life, it’s important to be mindful and purposeful about coming to terms with who we really are and who we want to be.

“We all have inner strengths, traits, and qualities that have gotten us through tough times—we need to recognize what makes us each special and unique. This will prepare us for the challenges ahead and allow us to continue to thrive as we move forward.” D

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49

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STUDENT DRIVE The Drive magazine in partnership with Libro Credit Union is challenging high school students taking grade 12 English to write an essay focused on their day-to-day lives. Once a school is selected, the top five articles chosen by the teacher are further reviewed by our editorial team and the winner receives a $500 RESP from Libro Credit Union, along with publication of the essay in our issue.

Congratulations to Abigail Littkemann from Holy Names Catholic High School for being our February winner! We are proud of all the participants and will continue to support our community through continued literacy and a path to higher education.

LET'S TALK PRESSURE The roller-coaster ride of getting into post-secondary education By: Abigail Littkemann | Photograph by Syx Langemann

Adolescence is a very tumultuous time in a person’s life. When faced with multiple decisions regarding the future, the pressures and expectations are often overwhelming. Individuals in this age group (15-24 years of age) are more likely to experience mental illness and substance abuse than any other age group. This has led to a surge in mental health problems, many of which stem from the pressures of high school.

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STUDENT DRIVE Grade 12 is a very demanding year. It asks students to push themselves further than ever before. It asks students to manage their time effectively and to devote long hours towards studying. Students are to decide what they’d like to study in their undergrad and to apply to universities and colleges. It requires students to be patient while the institutions decide who to accept and who to deny. This stress begins very early, according to Holy Names High School’s Guidance Counsellor, Rob McIntyre.

“Stressors with deciding what program to go into starts in grade 10. We have to show them the marks necessary to get into their program of choice, which can be very competitive.”

Winner: Abigail Littkemann from Holy Names Catholic High School

Jelena Adzic from Libro Credit Union

Kathy Oglan, Abigail’s teacher

52

Stressors can take shape in many different forms including injuries from sports, such as football. Jake Heydon, the former quarterback for Holy Names, chose to stay a fifth year because of the injuries he sustained on the field. “During my grade 11 year, I was facing a lot of challenges [due to] my concussions.

It held me back [in my education], and so I had to drop [many] essential classes.” Jake describes the trickle effect that it had on his future plans. “I had to take time to recoup myself and to make sure that I can make the leap from fifth year to university.” The choices regarding applying to post-secondary are overwhelming. From which program to study, to what school to study at, there is an alarming array of options available to students.

However, once the choices have been made, it does not mean that the stressors become elusive. Valentina Bashir, a first-year student in Human Kinetics at the University of Windsor, expressed how the stressors have only magnified. “Family life, homework, mental health, but most importantly, time. I don’t have enough time. I don’t have time to focus on myself, and to have self-care.” Self-care is vital in an individ-

ual’s life. It is through self-care that someone can recharge, devote time towards themselves, and prevent mental illness.

These stressors can have profound effects on an individual’s physical and mental health. Jake describes how his physical health has suffered as a result of his injuries due to football. “I have a lot of physical symptoms from my concussions, which range from pounding headaches that are constant, lack of sleep, and another being passing out. When I pass out I don’t remember the three minutes leading into it.” He also describes the repercussions it has had on the relationships in his life, “I’ve lost a lot of friends, as well as [contact] with my family members [due to] everything I’ve been through.” Valentina expresses similar effects due to her stressors, “These things have caused me to become more anxious, degrading my mental health, and decreased socialization with my friends. My marks are dropping because it’s just so much due to my heavy courses.”

Thankfully, many students have developed coping skills; elements that help individuals persevere through challenging times. These coping skills vary depending on each person.

Some may seek external help, whereas others may rely on their resources. Valentina finds that watching an episode of a television show helps to distract her from her worries, “I don’t think about school and [my] personal life issues. It puts me in a different world and headspace.” Jake seeks external help from his friends, “Knowing that I can get a good laugh out of them, and just them being my friends is [more] than enough. [When] I don’t know what to do, I have to reach for a bigger help, like teachers.”

McIntyre gives his students advice on how to cope with this pressure. The best way to be successful is to build a strong foundation in grades 9 and 10 and to carry those work habits through the remaining school years. “That is something that puts stress on students, to attain the marks necessary to get into their program of choice, but if we help students become proactive in the earlier years, this may avoid unnecessary stress.”

Stress and pressure are inevitable parts of life. They challenge individuals in ways they never thought they’d be challenged. It is also through them, that they may accomplish their greatest goals. However, building your toolbox is the key to success. There is no greater achievement than overcoming hurdles. D

FAN DRIVE

Photograph by Syx Langemann

WINDSOR ‘WOO CREW’ GOES VIRAL Football trip of a lifetime yields a story for the ages

By Donald McArthur

It was the woo heard ’round the world—and a shivering, shirtless crew of Windsor-Essex football fans became its viral face. When their phones started exploding midway through the Seahawks-Packers game, Windsor’s “Woo Crew” had no idea frustrated football fans back home and around the world thought they were the jerks ruining the game for a television audience of millions.

Check. Twitter? Boom. USA Today shared with its four million followers a picture of the four locals atop a story highlighting the ire of fans. Even though Smith, Joe Clark, Glen Mills, and Jordyn Mills were nowhere near the scene of the incessant wooing picked up by a crowd mic, they will forever be associated with it because their picture went viral along with the story.

“When your picture is trending, you know you’ve gotten big,” “My phone is dinging and just blowing up. It’s one text and one says James Smith, one of four Windsor-Essex residents caught up in message after the other: ‘You guys are the woo guys!’ What are they a social media maelstrom that continued to percolate long after the talking about? We don’t know,” says Mills, the coach of the Essex NFC Divisional playoff tilt. “It was incredible. It was surreal.”

Ravens. “I pull out my phone and it’s a picture of us on USA Today.”

Google ‘Green Bay Woo Guy’ and there they are. YouTube?

54

It’s a great picture and it screams playoff football. Clark, Mills, and

FAN DRIVE

Smith are naked from the waist up save for toques to ward off a northeast wind that was whipping through Green Bay’s Lambeau Field.

Jordyn, Mill’s adult daughter, laughs and points at the camera. She’s decked out in Seattle colours, cheering on LaSalle’s Luke Willson deep in the heart of enemy territory.

It sure looked like one of them could be the woo guy screaming on the Fox TV broadcast every time Green Bay had the ball, but they swear they were up in their nosebleed seats when the wooing ignited Twitter outrage.

The photo had been taken before the game when they were fieldside for the warmup. A dare from football friends back home had them “joking about doing something crazy to get on TV,” says Smith, so they took off their shirts and whooped it up for the players and cameras, bitter Wisconsin winter be damned.

“It was madness. It was hilarious. It became a running joke. ‘You guys are the woo guys,’” says Jordyn. “There are still messages saying you are the woo crew. It was not us.”

Smith, a special education teacher and autism advocate, is using his story as an example to his students about how quickly things can spiral out of control online and how they need to be alert and aware.

He says a trip to Lambeau Field in the playoffs is a football fan’s dream come true and that it came courtesy of Willson, who never forgets where he came from and who always helps out charitable causes when he comes home.

Willson has visited the kids in Jordyn’s classroom, which has a playoff bracket on the wall and where children sometimes sit in a circle and take turns speaking, passing a football around like a conch.

“It was nuts. It was a crazy atmosphere. Players were laughing. They were high-fiving us. Even the Green Bay fans were going crazy,” says Mills. “They were taking pictures and videos. They were loving it.”

“He’s the most incredible guy you would ever want to meet. Taking some old coaches and bringing them out to Lambeau. It doesn’t get much better than that,” says Smith. “It was an amazing experience.

Trip of a lifetime doesn’t even begin to describe it.”

Jordyn streamed the frigid festivities live to Facebook. She heard her father and his friends talk about going shirtless on the eight-hour road trip to Green Bay, but she never thought they’d go through with it. Not in January and not in Green Bay—on a day when you could see your breath.

James Smith was honoured when Seattle Seahawk GM John Schneider shook his hand before the game and gave him a 12th Man flag. Smith is on the local leadership council of Autism Ontario and Schneider, who has a son with autism, has set up a program for children with autism in Seattle.

“It was freezing cold. It was ridiculous,” says Jordyn. “People were dying with laughter. They were just cracking up.”

They threw their clothes back on after about 20 minutes and went back to their seats, but, before the first half was through, their phones began buzzing beneath multiple layers of clothing. Their 15 minutes had arrived. The press had snapped their picture and they were the faces of a sound so annoying it became a bit on Jimmy Fallon.

THEDRIVEMAGAZINE.COM

“I was head over heels,” says Smith. “It was amazing.”

Smith, a special education teacher since 1997, sets up booths at Spitfire games and events like Bright Lights Windsor to build awareness about autism. He is organizing an event involving American professor and autism advocate Temple Grandin on March 31 at the Caboto Club. He will be profiled in the March edition of The Drive. D 55

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HISTORY DRIVE

1929 2020

Purity Dairies Ltd., 1501 Howard Ave., southwest corner at Shepherd (built in 1929) Sir Harry Gignac was a member of the Sandwich Fire Department, then worked for the Neal Baking Company before establishing his own bakery, producing Butternut Bread in 1915. His business became one of the most successful bakeries in southwestern Ontario. Gignac sold his share of the bakery to launch Purity Dairies in 1929, and this beautiful structure was built for the new company by local architects Nichols, Sheppard & Mason. Sir Gignac is best known for his community service: he was president five times of the Windsor Branch of the Canadian Red Cross; founder of Goodwill Industries; and founder of the United Appeal, now called the United Way.

In 2020, the building is now home to the Downtown Windsor Business Accelerator and Shadowbox Theatre. Though altered, the distinctive turret (clad in copper several years ago) remains intact, and the building’s interior boasts 16-foot high ceilings and exposed steel beams.

From Windsor Before and After: a new book from Walkerville Publishing Inc. Release date: Fall 2019. WPI is owned by Chris Edwards and Elaine Weeks.

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THE DRIVE

LIFESTYLE | CULTURE | PEOPLE | TRENDS

ISSUE 127