Savvy August 2013

AUGUST 2013

Love, Sex and Dating Your Ex Stephanie Kotelnicki debuts new relationship column

NETWORKED Expand your professional circle with expert tips

Switch Careers Take a leap of faith into new ventures

LIVE YOUR

DREAMS Blogger helps people find fulfilling professions

COMING into her own Jodi Mayers finds her dream career at Corset Styling and Fashion Boutique

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AUGUST 2013 | savvy.mn

in this issue 08.13 in every issue 4 letter from the editor 7 local finds

cover story 14 coming into her own Local boutique owner Jodi Mayers took a circuitous route to Corset Styling and Fashion Boutique, but she’s right where she belongs.

fashion 5 trends Earn your stripes with eight gorgeous summer grabs.

6 new boutique Minq brings luxe co-ed shopping to St. Louis Park.

nosh 8 lunching Take your business lunch to Buon Giorno in Lilydale.

10 csa How to make the most of this season’s CSA.

5

just u 12 love of learning Check out Twin Cities area classes for both fun and learning.

14

relationships 18 new column Stephanie Kotelnicki tackles dating exes in her debut column for Savvy.

20 friendships at work Staying connected professionally can boost your office vibe and reduce stress.

love & life 22 network Experts offer tips on broadening your professional horizons.

24 career changes How to switch careers while you’re managing other roles.

27 coaching for success Blogger helps people find fulfillment in their professional life.

28 savvy sun signs Teri Parsley Starnes, a professional astrologer

12

18

living in Minneapolis, tells readers what to expect from the stars this month.

30 explore your intuition Jodi Livon, author, intuitive reader and resident psychic at Twin Cities Live, answers your questions about intuition.

savvy’s mission Savvy Magazine aims to educate and inspire a community of Twin Citiesarea women who share personal stories and real-world information on how to feel, live and look the best they can. Through original reporting, local events and journalistic integrity, Savvy is the source for how to be healthy, happy, fashionable and connected.

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savvy.mn | AUGUST 2013

3

editor'snote

Turn the Beat Around PUBLISHER Jennifer Sorenson EDITOR IN CHIEF Britt Johnsen GRAPHIC DESIGNERS Nicole Bullock | Lindsay Gergen CIRCULATION MANAGER Ruby Winings CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Mollee Francisco | Kristin Holtz Stephanie Kotelnicki | Jodi Livon Liv Lane | Teri Parsley Starnes Allison Roorda | Amy Stubblefield COVER PHOTOGRAPHY Momento Images CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERS Carrie Rood WEB Steve Delmont SAVVY.MN EDITORIAL BOARD Britt Johnsen | Jennifer Sorenson Becky Poss | Jennifer Everson Kay Guidarelli | Judy Holmquist Wendy Kleiser | Kelcie McKenney Janelle Meier | Lanae Paaverud Becky Porspakka | Karen Wolf Savvy.mn Magazine is published monthly

by Southwest Newspapers. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form by means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior consent of Southwest Newspapers, 952-445-3333, P.O. Box 8, Shakopee, Minn. 55379.

CONTACTS: CONTENT: Britt Johnsen, 952-345-6387 or editor@ savvy.mn ADVERTISING: 952-345-6477 or advertising@savvy.mn SUBSCRIPTION AND ADDRESS CHANGE: Ruby Winings, 952-345-6682 or circulation@swpub.com

PLEASE RECYCLE THIS MAGAZINE

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AUGUST 2013 | savvy.mn

T

his is technically our Career Issue, but you might as well call it our Making Big Changes Edition.

Jodi Mayers is someone who has made big changes – and has taken big risks – in her life. In 13 years, she’s had eight jobs.

Amid health problems and unhappiness at her corporate job, she quit without knowing exactly what the future would hold. But she landed as the owner of Corset Styling and Fashion Boutique, which she runs with the emotional and financial support of her husband, Paul. “I felt like I’m that cartoon character with a light bulb right over my head,” Mayers says of Corset in an interview with Kristin Holtz. “All of a sudden it made sense.” Learn from Jodi’s inspiring story and takeaways on page 14.

Meanwhile, on page 24, Mollee Francisco explores how local women decide to make a career switch while managing other roles, from motherhood to corporate jobs.

Annette Hentz, owner of Carver County Flowers and Gifts, talks about how she jumped ship from her longtime spot in the financial services industry. And working momma Katie Tierney of Chaska talks about how she transitioned from stay-athome mom to working mother. “Nobody is ever going to have it all,” Tierney tells Francisco. “But I’ve got the best of both worlds.”

For those of you who are in the right place but looking to move up, or who are just curious about new opportunities, networking is key. Local experts talk on page 22 how to expand your professional network.

Or maybe you are in the place where you just don’t know what it’s going to take to make you happy professionally.

That’s where blogger and executive coach Stephanie Ross comes in. She says she commonly hears from all kinds of people about how they don’t feel fulfilled; her days are spent helping individuals, groups and organizations get in touch with their deepest, most authentic goals and desires.

Doing that leads to higher productivity and greater fulfillment, she says. “Get support and help figuring out what you really want, what the road blocks and the

blind spots are,” Ross tells Liv Lane on page 27, “so that you can work in alignment and with greater fluidity.”

If you are seeking new opportunities and looking for a good spot for dining, you can head to Italian restaurant Buon Giorno.

The popular Lilydale spot is a favorite for lunching. Allison Roorda’s feature on Buon Giorno – and delicious-looking photos, to boot – is on page 8.

As always, we want to hear from you.

How have you made career changes or other big life transitions? Did you jump over major hurdles to get to where you are?

What do you need to know to make a leap?

Tell us what you think at editor@savvy.mn or head over to savvy.mn to make comments online.

Wishing you a blissful summer full of as much or little change as needed,

Britt Johnsen Editor in Chief

fashion | trends

1 2 3 4 8 7 6 5 EARN YOUR

stripes

Give your wardrobe a bold boost with these patterns, which range from sassy to classy.

By Britt Johnsen

1. J. Crew Ponte Peplum top. $85, jcrew.com. Flirt away your summer in this sleeveless top. 2. Needful Things scarf. $18.95, needfulthingsboutique.com. You can never have too many scarves, especially with the infinity. 3. Mod Cloth wedge. $88.99, modcloth.com. Have some sassy summer fun with these wedges. 4. J. Crew long sleeve pocket tee. $45, jcrew.com. Add some casual stripes to the mix. 5. Elan striped transformable dress. $48.95, needfulthingsboutique.com. This versatile piece can be worn as a dress or a skirt.

6. Beach bag. $49.99, modcloth.com. Head to the beach in style with this vegan, faux-leather, faux-suede beach purse. 7. Lulu-B striped top. $59.95, needfulthingsboutique. com. Glitter up your wardrobe with this striped gem. 8. Merona sun dress. $24.99, target.com. No summer is complete without the perfect summer dress.

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fashion | new boutique

MINQ Magic Local entrepreneur opens co-ed boutique in Edina.

BY BRITT JOHNSEN AND SARA GLASSMAN Co-ed shopping is a rare thing, especially if you want to avoid the chains.

Local entrepreneur Stacey Finnegan, who founded Il Vostro in Edina, recently opened Minq (1637 West End Blvd, St. Louis Park, shopminq.com).

For men, they offer local men’s line ScotttJames along with Ted Baker, 7 Diamonds, Moods of Norway, Velvet, Ben Sherman, Stone Rose and JBrand. Meanwhile, women can shop Hale Bob, Eva Franco, Fidelity Denim, Catherine Malandrino and Laundry.

Finnegan says she opened the shop May 19 to a warm response. She’s no longer the owner of Il Vostro, but some of her clients discovered that she opened a new store and told her they’re excited to have her back as a clothing boutique owner. “It’s been wonderful,” she says.

The serial entrepreneur had worked with Caribou Coffee and has spent more than 15 years doing business management consulting and organizational consulting. She then decided one day she wanted to open a jewelry store in Italy.

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AUGUST 2013 | savvy.mn

“We all create our own lives. I wanted to create a life that’s interesting,” she says.

But then the plan fell through and she opened an Italian clothing store in Edina instead. She’s been in the fashion industry ever since.

She’s fascinated by this industry, she says. The business is typically at the mercy of the weather, politics, stock market and more. “There are so many variables,” she says. “I grew up on a farm, so I liken it to farming. You are at the mercy of the elements.”

Finnegan and her team of seven work hard, despite any challenges they might face. “We call Minq the fashion play-

ground,” she says. “We want our customers to have fun.” They’ve got high-quality local jewelry designers, a lot of dresses and luxe men’s clothing. In other words, something for both men and women.

The couple that spends together, stays together? That’s the plan.

Britt Johnsen is Editor in Chief of Savvy Magazine. She can be reached editor@ savvy.mn.

Twin Cities-based freelance writer Sara Glassman contributed to this article. Send feedback to editor@savvy.mn.

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nosh | lunching

Art

The

of Lunch The family-owned Buon Giorno of Lilydale has been serving Italian food for 36 years.

L

unch may not be the most important meal of the day, but it is necessary.

So is finding out how to get a good lunch in the middle of a business day. The Italian deli Buon Giorno in Lilydale could be your place for lunch, whether it needs to be quick or a sit-down meeting.

Buon Giorno has been family-owned for 36 years. “My grandfather started the business in 1977,” says current owner Marc Mackondy.

Mackondy’s grandfather was Italian and spent most of his life in grocery retail.

When he retired, he decided there was a need in the Twin Cities for an Italian food

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AUGUST 2013 | savvy.mn

market.

“I was born in ‘75 so it’s always been that way,” Mackondy says. “We’re an Italian family.”

In 2002, Buon Giorno moved from the Sweed Hollow neighborhood in St. Paul to its currently location in Lilydale, just west of the 35E and Hwy 13 junction.

The deli offers a variety of lunch options, like Buon Giorno offers an easy venue for business lunches or dinners.

PHOTO CREDITS: ALLISON ROORDA

BY ALLISON ROORDA

cold or hot sandwiches, pasta or salad.

“The pasta bar is very, very popular for lunch,” Mackondy says. “It’s a pretty big selection of different ingredients, and then a chef cooks it in front of you.”

The salad bar works the same way; customers can choose what they want in their salad and wait for the chef to toss it while they watch.

Mackondy says that using local and artisan ingredients is very important to him. The breads are from a local artisan bakery, never frozen, never a day old.

The deli also sells fresh meat and sausages, as well as salami and prosciutto, all made in house.

“Ever since 2002 when we made the move to the new location, we learned a lot from our chef, and that really carried over to the deli,” Mackondy says. “We’re trying to be organic, sustainable as much as we can. Our produce as well, we source really good organic produce.”

Buon Giorno’s website offers a feature to place an order online. The deli also does catering services and has a dry goods section that sells pasta, sauces, oils and vinegars.

But a quick meal is only the beginning. Mackondy’s family also has a full Italian restaurant, called I Nonni, on the riverside of the building. I Nonni hosts a lot of business dinners and after-business happy hours. Plus, it contains one of Mackondy’s prides in his business.

“For me, I’m really attached to the wine program,” he says. “It’s been my baby from the beginning. It’s all artisan wineries, really on an organic, natural sustainable bend. It’s what I’m most passionate about.”

One of Mackondy’s favorite parts of his job is working with local food purveyors, like cheese makers or bakers. He says a lot of consumers may not understand how much care goes into choosing the best ingredients in terms of both quality and supporting local growers.

Buon Giorno 981 Sibley Memorial Highway, Lilydale (651) 905-1080 bgimarket.com Hours: Monday to Saturday 10 a.m. to 8 p.m.

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nosh | CSA

Making the most o f y o u r When Betsy Allister, now a farmer at Spring Wind Farm, was only member of a CSA (community-supported agriculture), she used to take frequent trips to the library and look at the good cookbooks, which were organized by vegetable. That way she knew what to do with the kale, beets and garlic scapes that would show up in her CSA box each week.

“Being part of a CSA is going to change the way you approach cooking,” she says. It forces you to use what you have on hand, rather than thinking of what to cook and shopping for it.

For anyone who might be new to it or still wondering how to use all the produce that arrives each week, Allister provided some tips. After all, it wasn’t that long ago

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AUGUST 2013 | savvy.mn

CSA

that she had to come up with these creative ideas of what to do with all the veggies arriving to her home.

Figure it out as you go. “You don’t need to do any recipe planning beforehand,” Allister says. Just go with what comes to your CSA box and head for the cookbooks.

It’s a new way of cooking for some people, but you’ll always find something delicious to make.

Check out a seasonal cookbook. Stumped as to where to go for good, useful recipes? She says that farmer’s newsletters often have great recipes, along with an explanation of some vegetables that customers may not be familiar with. Allister also recommends two books: Farmer John’s Cookbook: The Real Dirt on Vegetables, by John Peterson, and From

By Britt Johnsen

Asparagus to Zucchini: A Guide to Cooking Farm-Fresh Seasonal Produce, published by the Madison Area Community Supported Agriculture Coalition.

Let the veggies rest. Some vegetables, such as cabbage and root vegetables, keep for a few weeks. It’s OK to let some vegetables build up and then make a big batch of something to keep, freeze or take to a potluck.

Give it away. If you can’t find the time to eat your vegetables, find someone – a family member, a coworker, a neighbor – who will take them.

Sautee (or roast) and freeze. If you’re overwhelmed by the amount of greens you receive each week, or just simply can’t eat any more tomatoes or kale, a simple method is to sautee or roast the vegetables

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Healthy kids are happy kids. and freeze them, Allister says. “We love using them all winter,” she says of the frozen vegetables. “In June, there’s only so much kale a person can eat.” She also adds that this is a simple preservation method that doesn’t involve a day-long canning venture. The sautee-and-freeze method takes maybe 15 minutes total, she says. “Learning some very simple preservation tips like that can make a big difference.”

Make soup. A stew is an easy and delicious way to use all your CSA veggies. “Sometimes making a big pot of soup (is the way) way to deal with rutabagas, turnips and cabbage,” she explains.

Using vegetables in soup is also a great way to deal with frozen vegetables, especially if the texture is in any way off due to freezing.

Drop the guilt. It’s OK to compost your food from time to time. A lot of CSA customers feel guilty if they can’t use everything, she says. But she says the farmer and the customer each benefit greatly; the farmer has a guaranteed market, and the customer gets quality local food straight from the source. The CSA customer is already doing a good thing just by being a member, she says. “I totally understand that because I felt the same way,” Allister says.

Britt Johnsen is Editor in Chief of Savvy Magazine. She can be reached at editor@ savvy.mn.

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just u | love of learning

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Digging In Where: Silverwood Park, 2500 County Rd. E., St. Anthony Time: Wednesdays, July 24, 31 and Aug. 7 Cost: $75

DIY Summer Lip Balm: All-Natural Homemade Class ID: 16705 310025 Location: Community Education Services Building, 1250 W. Broadway Ave., Minneapolis Time: 6:30 - 8:30 p.m., Wednesday, July 10 Cost: $15 for tuition, $6 for materials Summer Fizzy Bath Bombs Class ID: 16702 Location: Community Education Services Building, 1250 W. Broadway Ave., Minneapolis Time: 6:30 - 8:30 p.m., Wednesday, July 17 Cost: $15

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AUGUST 2013 | savvy.mn

FOOD AND FUN The Arboretum The Minnesota Landscape Arboretum’s series “Dinner with the Chef” puts people in touch with recipes, wine pairings and where to find the best ingredients. The lessons include a final meal and a talk from different chefs, like Curry Diva Heather Jansz and Thai cuisine chef Joe Hatch-Surisook. The dinners will be at the Learning Center at the Arboretum once a month.

Fire in the Garden: Vegetarian Variations Where: Minnesota Landscape Arboretum, 3675 Arboretum Drive, Chaska Time: 11 a.m.-1 p.m., Saturday, July 13 Cost: $45 members, $55 non-members Corner Table Dinner: Chef Thomas Boemer Where: Minnesota Landscape Arboretum, 3675 Arboretum Drive, Chaska Time: 6:30-8-30 p.m., Thursday, Aug. 8 Cost: $50 members, $60 non-members

The Minnesota Landscape Arboretum is hosting a series of summer classes, including Dinner with a Chef and Fire in For more information on these and other adult Garden. (PHOTO COURTESY MINNESOTA LANDSCAPE education opportunities at the Arboretum, visit the ARBORETUM) arboretum.umn.edu/learn.aspx.

just u | love of learning COMMUNITY ED Minneapolis Community Education Community Education in the city has a variety of different categories for community education, including a summer series on crafts. These summer crafts classes teach you how to make your own bath and body products out of natural ingredients for use at home.

Summer Face & Body Products – Lotions Class ID: 16701 330011 Where: Community Education Services Building, 1250 W. Broadway Ave., Minneapolis Time: 6:30 - 8:30 p.m., Monday, July 8 Cost: $15

Introducing

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WORK YOUR BODY The Barre (Wayzata & Edina) The Barre is a fitness studio that focuses on barre exercise classes, specifically the Lotte Berk method, perfected by a German dancer.

“It’s a very efficient and effective way of exercising,” said Rachel Warford, one of the founders. “It’s really sustainable exercise for the long term. We work through every muscle in your body, and we really focus on making it fun.” The barre has daily, one-hour classes ranging from morning and mid-morning to evening classes at their locations in Wayzata and Edina.

Minnesota

The Barre fitness studio Locations: 539 Lake St. E., Wayzata, and 3801 W 50th St., Ste 200, Minneapolis Time: see www.thebarrestudio.com/scheduling. html for daily schedules Cost: single class, $22; student rate, $15; five The barre fitness boutique in Edina classes, $105; 10 classes, $200; 20 classes, features an exercise routine that uses the $380; single month unlimited, $220. ballet barre. (PHOTO BY ALLISON ROORDA)

PLAY IN THE WOODS Minnesota Valley National Wildlife Refuge The National Wildlife Refuge covering the Minnesota River Valley south of the Twin Cities offers summer classes that take full advantage of the good weather. Learn how to hike the state trails, go bird watching or become a nature photographer.

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savvy.mn | AUGUST 2013

13

Coming

into

Her Own

BY KRISTIN HOLTZ

14

AUGUST 2013 | savvy.mn

STYLING: CORSET STYLING & FASHION BOUTIQUE

all about helping women gain confidence, Mayers says. She wants working with a Corset stylist to be like shopping with an honest, fashionable girlfriend.

Amy Copeland, a Corset stylist, assistant buyer and team lead in its wardrobe services, says Mayers’ excitement is infectious. “Even though it was a complete leap of faith to do a career change and start something different, I think her career path has been a great fit and helped prepare her for Corset.”

Plus, it doesn’t hurt that Mayers has a creative eye for fashion. “Jodi brings an excellent mix of corporate and fashion sense,” Copeland adds. *** Mayers, who has always loved fashion and accessories, graduated from the College of St. Benedict in 1998 with degrees in communications and sociology. Her first job out of school was baptism by fire as a human resources consultant with Accenture. In her early 20s, Mayers found herself training employees for NASA and Pepsi-Cola.

After four years, the job transitioned into a temporary stint at Best Buy, which gave her time to earn a master’s in human resources development.

In 2002, Mayers joined Wells Fargo where she traveled the country training new home mortgage agents. After three years, she transitioned into the field herself, which was all well and good until she met her future husband, Paul, in the office. She knew that one of them had to leave.

So, Mayers, who admits she gets easily bored, left and took a job as a sales consultant with Organizational Concepts International-Seaberry Group. Within a

PHOTO CREDIT: MOMENTO IMAGES, SAVAGE

Jodi Mayers’ resume reads a little like a career odyssey; she’s had eight jobs in 13 years.

It’s little wonder that in her mid-30s Mayers found herself in a mid-life-career crisis.

Bogged down by long hours, too much travel and health issues, Mayers faced a daunting decision: stay in a well-paying corporate gig that made her unhappy or leave in the middle of an economic downturn without any clear plans for the future.

She chose the latter.

Mayers ascribes to the belief that everything happens for a reason, and somehow all the twists and turns along her career path led her to wander into a forsale fashion boutique on a wintry afternoon in 2010.

“I felt like I’m that cartoon character with a light bulb right over my head,” Mayers says. “All of a sudden it made sense.”

Since purchasing Corset Styling and Fashion Boutique two and a half years ago, Mayers has found her niche.

Her marketing, consulting and human resource experiences have all converged at the upscale boutique and styling service in Edina where she’s discovered what she truly loves: empowering women to look and feel their best.

“There’s nothing better than a woman dressed in a look she loves,” Mayers says.

“You see a transformation happen…I just love that.”

Best known for its personal customer service – whether in the boutique or an in-home closet consultation – Corset is

MAKEUP AND HAIR: CHRISTOPHE PRATHER, EXTRADOS SALON & SPA

Local boutique owner Jodi Mayers took a circuitous route to Corset Styling and Fashion Boutique. But she’s right where she belongs.

I felt like I’m that “cartoon character with a light bulb right over my head. All of a sudden it made sense.

”

JODI MAYERS

couple of years, a client lured her away to work for a crop insurance company, which was perfect at the time since it allowed her and Paul to winter in Florida.

But that familiar urge for change returned when Cargill came knocking.

At first, Mayers enjoyed her job at Cargill working in global sales and marketing, but when her boss left and the team experienced a shake-up, the long hours and travel began to wear on Mayers. She lost 30 pounds in three weeks and decided it was time to focus on her health (she has since been diagnosed with Crohn’s Disease). But she didn’t have a clue what was next. *** When Mayers came home in December 2010 and broached the idea of buying Corset Styling, she recalls that her husband “looked at me like I had three heads.”

Paul admits he was surprised by the proposal, but having seen her unhappiness, he was supportive.

“He said to me, ‘You’re important to me. I believe in you. I think we can grow this to what I need it to be. I’m willing to take this risk with you,’” Mayers recalls.

It hasn’t been easy. While former owner Carrie Leum agreed to stay on as a consultant for several months, Mayers didn’t know anything about running a business and most of the couple’s investments were tied up in retirement accounts. By the time Mayers took over the business, Leum had sold off most of the inventory and fixtures, leaving a client list and an empty storefront in Hopkins.

Mayers says she’ll never forget the first day a $25,000 credit card bill arrived in the mail. She was already dealing with guilt, having left her steady paycheck and benefits at Cargill. Plus, there was that master’s degree seemingly sitting on the shelf.

But Mayers understands that building a business takes time, and thanks to her husband’s support and her Corset team, she’s

Jodi Mayers is the wardrobe stylist for Twin Ci es Live. PHOTO CREDIT: GLENN GRIFFIN

willing to work for it. She’s also humble enough to admit she doesn’t know everything and has surrounded herself with a strong team, including a board of advisors who assists with the technicalities of running a business.

“I think every member of our team is fully invested in the business,” says Copeland, who has been with the boutique since 2009. “That’s something that Jodi is really fantastic at, using her team and all their various strengths to really move Corset forward.”

*** Mayers has finally found a job that requires continual change to keep the boutique fresh and interesting.

In September 2012, Mayers relocated Corset from Hopkins to 46th and France in Edina, after spending months searching for a more upscale space. The new location has been ideal, with good foot traffic and more centralized in its target market. She’s also rebranded the business and bolstered Corset’s media presence with continued appearances on Twin Cities Live, KARE savvy.mn | AUGUST 2013

15

That’s something that Jodi is really fantastic at, using her team and all their “various strengths to really move Corset forward.”

AMY COPELAND

11 and local fashion shows.

“She has a nonstop work ethic, always trying new ideas,” Paul says. “That’s why this has worked out so well, because there are so many facets.”

Eventually, Mayers would like to grow Corset so that she can focus more on the media and PR instead of dayto-day operations. Ideally, she’d love to expand her men’s wardrobe styling,

open a second store in Florida (giving her family reason to winter in the South again) and do more for her employees, such as provide health insurance.

Mayers, who has never been a 40-houra-week girl, admits she still works too much, but these days, it’s for her. “At least now, every single hour I pour into my company is coming back to me and that’s important to me,” Mayers says.

Because she knows when you’re doing something you love, the money will follow and the investment of effort will be worth it.

“It doesn’t even feel like work,” she says.

“It just comes easy and natural when you’re doing something you enjoy.”

Kristin Holtz is a Twin Cities-based freelance writer. Send feedback to editor@savvy.mn.

Above: Jodi Mayers and her husband, Paul, are in this business ownership together. She says he’s been very suppor ve. Right: Mayers and her Corset team work well together, blending strengths to move the company forward. PHOTO CREDITS: BRITT JOHNSEN

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AUGUST 2013 | savvy.mn

savvy.mn | AUGUST 2013

17

relationships | stephanie kotelnicki

L

ast year a girlfriend of mine instructed that one should approach the rekindling of romance with an attitude of casualness.

“You’ve got to forget about everything that came before and just pretend like it’s all the first time,” she said. “You’ve got to be casual about it.”

For me, this advice came on the eve of my third breakup with a guy who was in and out of my life for more than two

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AUGUST 2013 | savvy.mn

years. At the time, her advice seemed like the solution that could have saved the relationship. Of course, almost 48 hours of no sleep, nonstop crying, and an inability to eat tends to make almost any advice sound like the Holy Grail of all relationship problems.

So I took her suggestion and pocketed it.

Cut to today. I revisited the possibility of dating another ex-boyfriend. While he wasn’t as troublesome as the aforementioned ex, I noticed these “casual” relationships had something in common: a lack of

commitment in addressing real issues.

In both cases, after a litany of honeymoon phase promises, these guys immediately checked back out, no matter how carefully they were approached with some of the core reasons the relationship did not work out the first time around.

Initially I tried to approach their reappearance in my life gently, with a hint of casualness, such as my friend had suggested: “Sure, I’ll drive over to your place after my two-hour work commute...”

“It’s okay if you are still playing around on Match.com. We aren’t exclusive...”

But over time I felt it was important to be honest and open: “ You know how you lecture me if I stress about the four hour commute each day between work and your place, but then you mope and whine about everything else? That feels very one-sided.” “ You know how you told me you weren’t on any online dating websites, but you still are?

That really affects my ability to trust you.”

Immediately, the break-up excuses began: “I’m not emotionally equipped for a relationship...”

“I haven’t been in a relationship in so long.

I don’t really know what I want...”

“I guess I don’t want to be tied down.

My idol is Barney from How I Met Your Mother, for crying out loud...”

In hindsight, part of me wishes I had

just come in, guns blazing: “Remember your pre-ejaculation problems? You must have forgotten all about that when you sent that text to your friend saying how ‘crazy’ and ‘amazing’ the sex was between us. Well, your little issue didn’t rock my world, but it sure as hell rocked our relationship because you refused to talk about it. Remember that? ‘Cause I do!”

I broke up with the latest ex for good. I concluded that if a man refuses to talk about his inability to sexually satisfy you there is a good chance that what you two have won’t translate into a lifelong companionship.

While having fun with your reappearing ex can be nice, it is almost always the least casual of all encounters. When it involves intimate history, perhaps it’s best to turn up the heat on the pressure cooker and ask a guy to work for you and work with you - to heal the respective damages.

“I’m really proud of you,” a good friend told me after the breakup. “You didn’t settle for less.”

“It still sucks,” I said.

“It does,” he said. “But don’t worry.

The right guy will recognize your worth, and trust me, he’ll work for it.”

As he should.

Stephanie Kotelnicki is truly terrified that someday she will be “that old lady with cats.” Not because she is afraid of being old, or lonely, but simply because she does not really care for cats. She thought it made sense to write this column because she is one of many single women traversing the complicated terrain that is dating, love, sex and life. In the short amount of time she’s spent on this planet she’s learned the following: It isn’t fun to date boys who don’t like it when you win at card games. Friends are your best resource for support and fun but they can also drive you a little crazy. People will always ask, “Why?” after you ask them, “What is your astrological sign?” And finally, no matter how tenderhearted Stephanie may be, her foot almost always ends up in her mouth.

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19

relationships | friendships at work

Stay Connected at the Office

Office relationships bring professional, personal benefits

BY ALLISON ROORDA According to the U.S. Bureau of Labor, the average person spends 8.8 hours a day working or at work-related activities, which is more than the average time a day spent sleeping. With so much time devoted to work, it helps to have a friendly environment.

But what can friends in the workplace really do for you?

For one, office friendships can have benefits, both personally and in the office environment.

“Positive relationships are always identified as a basic human need,” says Theresa Glomb, McFarland Professor of Organizational Behavior in the Carlson School of Management at the University of Minnesota. “We are social beings and the need for relatedness does not stop at the office threshold.”

With so much of the day spent in the workplace, friends can potentially make the day go faster. Kris Howland, public relations director at the Chanhassen Dinner Theatres, says she can’t imagine going to work at a place where she wasn’t friends with her co-workers.

“I think that friendships in the workplace have everything to do with happiness in the job. The relationships you build with people make your job a pleasure.”

Positive relationships, Glomb says, are a key element of successful organizations. That connection between co-workers has been invaluable for Sarah Koehn, an administrative assistant at Shakopee Public School District. While the school district has gone through some transitions at the administrative level, Koehn says the friendly attitude in the office has made the changes easier.

“We’ve had a fair bit of administrative change in the last few years so maintaining and developing friendships has made transitions easy,” Koehn says. “As we’ve brought in new people, I think they felt welcome and we laugh a lot. That’s pretty obvious

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AUGUST 2013 | savvy.mn

around here. It’s not a team that only has a certain amount of members; we’ll take anyone as long as they want to have fun.

We’ll be able to maintain the friendships past the separation.”

Transitioning isn’t the only situation in an office environment that friendships can help make better. Howland says being friends with her co-workers has made even personal crises less terrible.

“When you are friendly with the people you work with, it means when your going through a diff time, your coworkers are like your family and rooting for you. That’s what makes the workplace such an important place for me to be,” she says.

Howland credits the friendly environment at her work as one of the reasons she’s been with the same company for 36 years.

“If somebody is going through a health crisis, people just rally around that person, anything from bringing meals to organizing different things for that person,” she says. “It’s not just only during times of crisis, as human beings we really thrive on the caring and compassion of others, and that’s what makes work relationships so special.”

More than just reflecting a positive attitude toward work or making a bad day better, friendships in a working environment can be healthy, too.

“Positive relationships have been linked to increased life satisfaction, health, longevity, and also job related factors like job satisfaction and lower likelihood of turnover,” Glomb says. “In addition, there are physiological changes that occur when we have positive interactions with others.”

Jina Schaefer, wellness guide and founder of The Happy Healthy Truth, focuses on establishing a healthy lifestyle for her clients. She says stress is the number one goal-killing for people, whether they’re trying to lose weight or establish new habits. Stress at work, though, can be combated by the simple act of having friends.

“I think anytime having friends or

Jina Schaefer, founder of The Happy Healthy Truth, says having a solid social network reduces stress.

having a social network, it’s a source of comfort, it’s an outlet, and all of those things lead to less stress,” Schaefer says.

“And less stress is good for you not only mentally but also physically.

“When you have friends, you’re most likely talking and laughing,” Schaefer says. “Then laughter releases endorphins, it produces higher productivity and better work relationships whether you’re friends or not.”

Koehn said her office has organized fun events together, even while at work. As a pool, they have followed TV shows like “The Bachelor” and “The Bachelorette.”

They have had themed potlucks during the summer when it’s harder to leave the office for a regular lunch hour.

“We work hard, and we play hard, and we laugh a lot,” she says. “We like a really light office. We support each other and we communicate with each other.”

The sense of support and family, Koehn says, not only makes it easier to come to work but also affect the office’s work in a professional way.

“I think you’re able to be so much more productive because you work as a team,” she says. “That’s how closely we work. You can see it and you can feel it when someone else needs help.”

Allison Roorda is a staff writer for Savvy Magazine. Contact her at aroorda@swpub.com.

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love & life | network

HOW TO EXPAND YOUR NETWORK

EXPERTS OFFER TIPS ON BROADENING YOUR PROFESSIONAL HORIZONS

BY BRITT JOHNSEN At some point in your career, you might find yourself in a rut. You might need some inspiration, some advice, or a change of directions.

Whatever you need, your professional network is key. You might even find yourself in a place where you’re unemployed and looking for a job. Your contacts can help

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AUGUST 2013 | savvy.mn

you in a time of need.

Angie Whitcomb, president of the Shakopee Chamber & Visitors Bureau, and Cari Vollmer, Twin Cities-based life coach and business owner, recently spoke with Savvy about how you can expand your professional network -whether you need the contacts now or down the road.

love & life | network

Get Out of Your Comfort Zone

Know What You Want Most people are willing to help.

But Vollmer says you have to know what you’re looking for first. When you have this clarity about what you want, it will be much easier to introduce yourself, hold a conversation and seek out requests for help. When you know what you want, Vollmer says it will be more productive and fun to ask people out to coffee or join professional organizations.

If you don’t know what you want, you might want to take some time for introspection - or what she calls the “know thyself journey.” “It really is that process of digging, (and asking) who am I, what do I really want?”

For most people, she says, getting that clarity leads to confidence, which then makes it easier to ask for what you want in your network.

Who Do You Know?

Whether you’re starting a business, wanting to move up the ladder in your career or needing a job change, Vollmer says it’s useful to ask people who they know. That way it will be easier to connect with someone who you don’t know personally -someone who could provide invaluable career or business advice. And there are plenty of “connectors” out there, people who love to connect people.

Keep it Simple Show up every day at work doing the best you can. People will remember the way you dress, speak and behave, as well as your attitude, your ethics, the work you did and how efficient you are.

“Earning a D is not going to get you anything,” Whitcomb says.

Vollmer says you need internal courage, and the ability to ask and reach for what you want.

“Make it known, (then) show up and add value,” Vollmer says.

Whitcomb says it comes down to effort. “It’s not magical,” she says.

“You have to put the work into it.”

Meet People In Person

Whitcomb says everyone has a different style when it comes to networking. But ultimately, it always comes down to being willing to do what you’re uncomfortable doing -- or leaving your comfort zone.

That means talking to new people, asking questions you’ve never asked before, making small talk even if you hate it, and speaking up about what you want or need. “If you never get uncomfortable, you will never grow,” Whitcomb says.

This is where you might really be stepping out of your comfort zone. But it’s absolutely key to meet people face to face.

“Nothing will sell you like eye contact and a nice handshake,” Whitcomb says.

Seek a Mentor A mentor can be very valuable in a person’s career, but Vollmer says this is again where it comes back to clarity. Before finding a mentor you have to know what you want to learn. But when you have that solid sense, then go to places like professional organizations or ask around while networking, she says. The mentor-mentee relationship can also be highly rewarding for the mentor, who can feel great when they see their mentee growing. “It’s just so delightful to see them thriving,” she says.

Leverage Social Media Whitcomb says sites such as LinkedIn are tremendous resources.

But they have to be used wisely. Every day she guards her LinkedIn contacts.

She gets many requests from strangers, but she only wants to connect with people she personally knows.

“It’s building that trust and that relationship,” she says.

Britt Johnsen is editor in chief of Savvy Magazine.

She can be reached at editor@savvy.mn.

savvy.mn | AUGUST 2013

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love & life | career changes

G N I C N A L A B THE SWITCH how to switch careers while you’re managing other roles.

by mollee francisco

here was a time when it was entirely reasonable for one to spend all of their working years with the same company, toiling away until retirement. Not anymore. The era of the lifer is over and many people will not only change companies in their working lifetime, but career paths as well.

In some cases, it’s easier dreamt about than done. But Savvy talked with two local women who successfully made the switch – and survived to share their stories.

T

FROM FINANCE TO FLOWERS Annette Hentz had been thinking about opening up her own floral shop for years. With nearly three decades of work in financial services under her belt, retirement was on the horizon.

“At that point, I was 55 and starting to think about what I wanted to do in retirement,” she says. “I knew I didn’t want to just sit around with my feet up.”

Hentz started planning early. She struck a deal with an antique shop in downtown Carver that was willing to rent her space in their back room to get started. She kept her job at a tax accounting firm and only worked nights and weekends at the floral shop, but she loved it.

“I would come here after work,” she says. “It was exciting.”

Hentz interviewed other florists for advice about going into business and even went to floristry school with the idea that the floral shop would be a perfect place to spend her retirement years.

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AUGUST 2013 | savvy.mn

“The plan was to keep working, establish this slowly, get some savings and then retire to do this full-time,” she explained.

But the plan didn’t quite work out that way.

“I got laid off, which was a shock,” she says.

“I went back and sat at my desk and then realized I don’t have to work here anymore,” Hentz recalled. “I was mad for about 45 minutes, but it was a huge relief.”

Too young to collect any retirement benefits, Hentz then had to decide whether to pursue another job in finance or throw her full weight behind the floral shop.

“I talked to my husband – the most amazing man ever – and he says ‘I’ll support you,’” she recalled.

“It was a hard, hard decision,” Hentz added. “I was two-thirds of the family income.”

Hentz jumped in to the flower business with both feet. To make it possible, they refinanced their house and made a strict budget, cutting out “every extraneous expense.”

Carver County Flowers and Gifts became her new full-time gig. Hentz stayed in the back of the antique shop for several years before the opportunity came up to buy the building last June. Hentz submitted a low bid for her offer and it was accepted. She has since expanded her shop and now rents space to vendors.

“The only challenge is financially,” says Hentz. “It’s still a struggle, but somehow the bills are getting paid.”

Hentz has no regrets. “I love being part

of somebody’s life,” she says. “It’s a time to help them express who they are via flowers.”

WORKING MOMMA Before having kids, Chaska’s Katie Tierney was part of a rare group of women working in the software world. “I was a software architect.”

It was just where the Texas A&M graduate wanted to be, but Tierney knew it wouldn’t last forever. She knew that when she started having kids, she would quit work to raise them.

“I was always going to do it,” she says.

“I wanted the flexibility to take them to the zoo, the park, etc.”

But even as a stay-at-home-mom, Tierney wasn’t good at staying at home. While raising four kids, she kept busy with everything from starting a mom’s club to running a mayoral campaign to joining the board of her homeowner’s association. “I can’t sit still,” she explained.

Tierney also stayed in touch with her former employers. “I’m very good at keeping in touch with people I worked for in the past.”

That contact would help her to reenter the working world four years ago when her oldest was 8. “I got a phone call,” she says.

The offer was for a low-stress, part-time job.

“I thought, why not?” she says. “Worse comes to worse, I don’t like it and I quit.”

The job wasn’t necessarily in Tierney’s primary area of expertise - instead of creating software, she was marketing it and later

love & life | career changes

TIPS FOR SWITCHING CAREERS: > Network > Do your homework > Look for ways your previously learned job skills can translate to your new job Sources: Annette Hentz and Katie Tierney

selling it - but she figured it out along the way. “I hate to say it, but sometimes you have to keep trying, (and) fake it ‘til you make it.”

The transition from stay-at-home mom to working mom was made easier by the fact that initially, Tierney was able to work from home.

“I was always there,” she says.

Over time, that changed as the job evolved into a full-time position that included travel. They tried a live-in nanny, but that was “disastrous” so they now rely on neighbors and friends to lend a helping hand with their brood.

“They’re hugely essential to what we do,” says Tierney. “They’re a built-in support structure.”

Tierney also credits the support of her husband with making the career transition work. “I married really well,” she says. “I would never be able to do this without him.”

Though there are milestones she misses now as a working mom, Tierney is happy with her busy life.

“Nobody is ever going to have it all,” she says. “But I’ve got the best of both worlds.”

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Mollee Francisco is a regular contributor to Savvy Magazine and is a full-time writer for the Chaska Herald, which shares a parent company with Savvy.

savvy.mn | AUGUST 2013

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love & life | local bloggers

COACHING FOR

Success

Blogger helps people find fulfillment in their professional life.

BY LIV LANE If you regularly end your workdays wondering why you don’t feel more fulfilled, you’re not alone. In fact, it’s so common that executive coach Stephanie Ross’s calendar is filled with sessions and workshops for individuals, groups and organizations longing to get back in touch with their most “authentic goals and desires” – leading to a greater sense of fulfillment and productivity.

Ross says it all comes down to alignment. In the same way people might visit a chiropractor when their bodies feel out of alignment, Ross’s clients come calling when their work feels out of synch with their personal values and goals.

“I help them get in alignment with what it is they really want, as opposed to what they think they want or what they think they should want,” Ross says. “My clients say they’re worried about wasting precious time, thinking ‘I’m not where I thought I wanted to be,’ ‘I want to make my mark,’ ‘I want to matter,’ ‘I want my life to be meaningful.’”

In December 2012, Ross launched a blog as an extension of her consulting website (stephanierossconsulting.com/blog/), eager to offer her insights and information to a wider audience, but in “bite-sized portions.” The blog has become a great resource in her coaching work, since she can point people to particular posts that address their specific needs, from creative time management to coping with conflict.

And blogging has become a very fulfill-

Stephanie Ross works with individuals, groups and organiza ons to get in tune with their aspira ons, goals and desires. PHOTO CREDIT: SUBMITTED.

ing aspect of her own work. “I find it to be a wonderfully creative, invigorating, intellectually stimulating activity,” Ross says.

In fact, Ross typically has over a dozen blog post drafts in the works at any given time, inspired by articles, business books, emerging trends and client conversations.

She also features interviews with clients and leaders who are willing to share their stories about working through change.

Since inspiring and sustaining change is at the heart of Ross’s work, she calls her blog Increase Awareness, Impact Outcome.

“I honestly think that’s what it’s all about. When it comes to change, step one is increasing awareness,” she says. “It might be subtle or it might really profound and dramatic. But once you increase your

I help [people] get in alignment with what it is “they really want, as opposed to what they think they want or what they think they should want.”

STEPHANIE ROSS

awareness – about your patterns, behaviors, values – it can start altering the way you do things, which impacts your outcomes.”

In her client work and on her blog, Ross likes to think of herself as a tour guide. Consider how much more you see and learn, she says, when an expert is leading you through a new city or attraction. The same goes for working with a coach as you explore new terrain in your career – and your life.

“Get support and help figuring out what you really want, what the road blocks and the blind spots are,” she says, “so that you can work in alignment and with greater fluidity.”

Liv Lane calls herself a Human Sparkler, devoted to helping women define and ignite their inner sparks the traits, talents and passions that light them up from the inside out. She has mentored hundreds of bloggers around the world, and profiles an inspiring local blogger in each addition of Savvy. Find her online at LivLane.com.

savvy.mn | AUGUST 2013

27

love & life | astrology

savvy sun signs

28

ARIES MARCH 21 - APRIL 19 You have the opportunity to really slow down this month, but will you?

You’ve been pushing yourself into new areas for a while. This expansion is exhilarating but can also be exhausting. Other people may be telling you to get more in touch with your emotions. This is good advice.

There is a burst of mental energy at the beginning of the month, and then you find yourself wondering why your message is not easily reaching others.

The three-week Mercury retrograde period that begins on June 26 invites you to work on communicating from a deeper place. Perhaps the patience you will be forced to develop will help you focus better.

TAURUS APRIL 20 - MAY 20 You understand the need to balance resources. When others around you are frantically losing their heads, you keep a steady pace. This quality of yours has been tested over the past few months but you get support at the time of the Full Moon in Capricorn on June 23. The entrance of Jupiter into the sign of Cancer a few days later is a burst of energy. You can be a rock for others but need to bring more beauty into your life for your own pleasure. Enhance your home. This is a project that usually delights you.

Other people seek your eye for beauty.

GEMINI MAY 21 - JUNE 21 The desire to learn and connect with others is stronger than usual because Mars, the planet of action, is in Gemini all month. In addition, Jupiter, the planet of expanding opportunity is completing its year-long transit of your sign. Time to think back over the year; what new things have you begun? The temporary setbacks and challenges you experienced taught you valuable lessons. You can take that wisdom into communication and relationships. The New Moon on June 8 is a perfect opportunity to reflect on the future you want to create. On June 26, your ruling planet, Mercury, stations retrograde. Time to slow down and be careful with the details. Learn to trust your emotions.

CANCER JUNE 22 - JULY 22 You are having a big month that could translate into a big year too. Jupiter leaves Gemini to enter Cancer for one year. You might be involved in caring for others in some way, but also take this opportunity to care for yourself and dare something new. Your emotional instincts are strong and others will see you as a source of strength.

Watch out for doing too much for others. The Full Moon on June 23 is a great time to notice how to balance home and work. June 26, Mercury stations retrograde in your sign. The next three weeks will be an opportunity to notice your expectations for communication in relationships.

LEO JULY 23 - AUGUST 22 Lately, you’ve become tired of feeling so sensitive about whether other people truly appreciate you. However, the internal work you are doing will help you get your gifts out into the world. Does your home life support your creativity in the way it could?

What changes can you make? Mars, the planet of action, is your ally of inspiration this month. Be bolder about your ideas and let yourself run with them. You may find that you are less self-critical when you focus on helping others. On June 27, Venus, the planet of love and beauty enters your sign for almost one month. This could be a delicious time for romance as well as creativity.

VIRGO AUGUST 23 - SEPTEMBER 22 After a year of being over-stimulated mentally due to Jupiter’s transit of Gemini, you welcome a chance to focus on simple pleasures. But first, you have one more month of being very busy and needing to cope with lots of new input and projects. Emotionally, you understand that you need to slow down so you can take better care of yourself. The time around the New Moon on June 8 may be a stressful one, but by the Full Moon on June 23, things have calmed down for you.

Pay attention to miscommunications and travel mix-ups as your ruling planet, Mercury, stations retrograde for three weeks on June 26.

AUGUST 2013 | savvy.mn

love & life | astrology Teri Parsley Starnes is a professional astrologer living in Minneapolis. Her monthly horoscope is written exclusively for Savvy readers. Learn more about Starnes’ business, Starsdance Astrology, at starsdanceastrology.com.

Read more in astrology online at savvy.mn

LIBRA SEPTEMBER 23 - OCTOBER 23 You may feel a bit weary of needing to put out the fires of misunderstanding around you. The tension in relationships might be high and you are wondering what you can do about it. As the natural peacekeeper of the zodiac, you are being challenged to find the point of balance between extreme positions.

With Mars moving through Gemini, another air sign, you feel bolstered by a renewed ability to communicate.

However, not all is simple, as you will be tested by the Mercury retrograde that begins on June 26. The real test will be to let your emotional awareness lead you. Develop your intuitive skills to solve your most perplexing problems.

SCORPIO OCTOBER 24 - NOVEMBER 22 Saturn, the planet of responsibility, is moving through your sign, giving you the feeling that everything important in your life has become hard work. You get help this month, not to lighten up exactly, but to rely on spiritual states that inspire you to undertake these important projects with a new sense of meaning. You are making a breakthrough in understanding yourself and others. Keep an open mind, as it is easy to form judgments about others.

Now is the time to act with compassion too. Extend that concern towards your own heart as well. You are developing new healing powers even if you don’t know it yet.

SAGITTARIUS NOVEMBER 22 - DECEMBER 21 You may be provoked this month as Mars moves through Gemini, the sign opposite your Sun. Watch out for arguments. Other people have an opinion about how you run your life.

Perhaps you are also wondering why you feel so restless and what your life is all about. As Jupiter, your ruling planet, enters the sign of Cancer for the next year, you will be pulled between home and adventure. Adjustments need to be made to ensure that you are taking care of your responsibilities. However, honor your way of moving through the world. Use your excellent sense of humor to roll with the miscommunications sure to arise during the Mercury retrograde starting June 26.

CAPRICORN DECEMBER 22 - JANUARY 19 Relationships show you another side of life. You’ve been on a mission to gain more stability and authority and you have the skills to do this but it feels like something is missing. With so many planets moving through the sign opposite yours, you have plenty of opportunity to soften your stance and listen to what those around you also need. The Full Moon on June 23 is a time to open up to what others are telling you. As Mercury stations retrograde in Cancer a few days later, you will have at least three weeks to listen and respond in new ways. Patience brings clarity.

AQUARIUS JANUARY 20 - FEBRUARY 18 You are eager for more freedom. It might seem like everyone around you is trying to play it too safe. An emphasis on security goes against your natural instincts to rebel. Others in your life are asking for more emotional connection and confusing communication makes it harder to understand what they are asking you to do.

When you feel like you’ve reached a dead end, do something new and unexpected. You may want to spend time alone and then come back to the issue. Even though it can be challenging, someone else’s perspective teaches you important lessons. Take note of the role emotions play in solving community issues.

PISCES FEBRUARY 19 - MARCH 20 Tune out the busy world and make time for yourself. With a heart as big as yours, it is easy to get overwhelmed.

Energetic Mars is moving through Gemini this month, increasing the probability of distraction, so seek calming activities to maintain your focus. Saturn, the planet of structure and Neptune, your ruling planet, are in a very supportive relationship with each other. You will benefit from creating new order in your life, whether it is a spiritual practice or a reorganization of your workspace. Jupiter’s entrance into Cancer for the one year is a boost of energy. Trust your instincts. You feel more resourceful.

Your intuitive gifts can help sort out miscommunication.

savvy.mn | AUGUST 2013

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love & life | explore your intuition

Explore

YOUR INTUITION with Jodi Livon

J

odi Livon, author of The Happy Medium, intuitive coach and resident psychic at Twin Cities Live, says everyone is intuitive.

Each month readers ask Livon about their questions around intuition and all things supernatural. In this month’s edition, readers ask about intuition and sports, making big decisions and how to get out of your own way.

How can I use my intuition during sporting events?

What a great question. I coach clients who work in professions such as law, education, or music for example and they have similar questions. My suggestion is to do the following, starting months, days and/ or hours prior to an event. The first step is to have your basics covered. Make sure you are well-rested, well-fed, and wellhugged. Next, allow yourself some quiet time before the event. Listen to the sound of your breath for five minutes and ignore random thoughts that pass through your mind. During the next five minutes, think of five things that you are grateful for. The energy that emanates from you while in a calm and grateful space is powerful. Picture yourself achieving, in detail, what it is you wish to accomplish during your sporting event. It is important that you focus on how you will feel once achieved. Ask that it be for the good of all and maintain grate-

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AUGUST 2013 | savvy.mn

ful, focused energy. This is powerful stuff, of your intuitive voice. No worries about intuitively speaking. pushing your insights away, that’s just your ego trying to take over out of fear. The How do you make an intuitive deci- ego says it will go my way, or no way. The sion when you’re attached to an outcome? voice of intuition never judges. So when From what I understand, the attachment you hear a negative voice, simply ignore makes it harder to follow your intuition. it and it will dissolve in time. Insights are The first thing to do is put yourself in born out of love so put yourself in a loving neutral by asking that whatever transpires place by recognizing all that is good in be for the good of all. When you do this, you and around you. This helps align your dissolve attachments and open yourself up thoughts and your soul. The soul, when for so much more than your one wish. It is, it is aligned, moves forward. Remember, after all, not necessarily the outcome people learning the language of intuition is an are attached to but rather the feeling the out- art. Art should not be judged and neither come produces. When you think of the end should you, especially as you learn to trust result you wish to manifest, how precisely do your instincts. you feel inside? Remember, it is that feeling you are after, so there is no need to microSend your questions for Jodi Livon to manage the outcome. When you put your- Savvy Editor in Chief Britt Johnsen and self in neutral, you gain the ability to move in your question may appear in an upcoming the direction of your soul’s purpose. As this is edition of the magazine. Livon can’t answer achieved, manifestations of this worldly plane every question but she’s grateful to receive all display themselves, seemingly effortlessly. of them. Johnsen is at editor@savvy.mn or (952) 345-6387.

When I receive information, answers or insights, I immediately push it away thinking, “That can’t possibly be right.

Jodi Livon is an author, resident psychic at Twin Now get rid of that nonsense and get yourCities Live, and she’s an self ready for the real answer.” I hate when intuitive coach for the I do that and love when I just receive the business sector. She information easily, sort of playfully, withalso offers readings for out judgment. Do you have any advice on individuals. Her website is how I can get out of my own way?

TheIntuitiveCoach.com.

What a blessing that you’re conscious

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