Savvy November 2013

NOVEMBER 2013

HOW TO CREATE A SUCCESSFUL BLOG Liv Lane shares her best tips

Write Your Novel NOW!

Find Your Tribe Twin Cities writers’ groups foster talent, community

Craft a novel in just a month – we’ll show you how

mama in

WONDERLAND

Shannon Tassava found adventure and success while combining writing, coaching and stay-at-home mama duties

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in this issue 11.13 in every issue 4 letter from the editor 8 local finds

cover story 14 mama in wonderland Shannon Tassava found adventure and success while combining writing, coaching and stay-at-home mama duties.

fashion 6 cute & cozy The days are getting shorter and there is a chill in the air. Winter is upon us. Stay warm in style with any of these fabulous coats.

7 made over Mother and daughter get a special makeover from Savvy and Spalon Montage. Check out their new look.

nosh 10 the art of tea Allison Roorda shows readers how and where to find the perfect tea.

health 18 walk this way Walking is a great way to stay healthy and connected to community. One Twin Cities club is doing exactly that.

relationships

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20 ‘guy next door’ Stephanie Kotelnicki shows women how to make sure the guy you’re dating has actually read your online profile.

love & life 22 find your tribe Check out these Twin Cities writers’ groups to find

26

20

support while you hone your craft.

24 write a novel It’s National Novel Writing Month. Will you crank out a novel this month?

26 blogging Want to know how to create a successful blog? Let blogging maven Liv Lane show you how.

28 savvy sun signs Teri Parsley Starnes, a professional astrologer living in Minneapolis, tells readers what to expect from the stars this month.

30 explore your intuition Jodi Livon, author, intuitive reader and resident psychic at Twin Cities Live, answers reader questions about intuition.

savvy’s mission Savvy Magazine aims to educate and inspire a community of Twin Citiesarea women who share personal stories and real-world information on how to feel, live and look the best they can. Through original reporting, local events and journalistic integrity, Savvy is the source for how to be healthy, happy, fashionable and connected.

Connect with Savvy.mn Magazine @Savvymn

corrections

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Savvy Magazine strives to publish accurate information in every edition.

When necessary, we will correct and acknowledge errors.

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savvy.mn | NOVEMBER 2013

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editor'snote

In Support of Each Other PUBLISHER Jennifer Sorenson EDITOR IN CHIEF Britt Johnsen GRAPHIC DESIGNERS Nicole Bullock | Lindsay Gergen CIRCULATION MANAGER Ruby Winings CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Emily Abbott | Scott Fagerstrom Stephanie Kotelnicki | Jodi Livon Liv Lane | Teri Parsley Starnes Allison Roorda | Unsie Zuege COVER PHOTOGRAPHY Steve Lucas Photography CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERS Carrie Rood SAVVY EDITORIAL BOARD Britt Johnsen | Jennifer Sorenson Becky Poss | Kay Guidarelli Judy Holmquist | Wendy Kleiser Kelcie McKenney | Janelle Meier Lanae Paaverud | Becky Porspakka Karen Wolf Savvy Magazine is published monthly by Southwest Newspapers. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form by means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior consent of Southwest Newspapers, 952-445-3333, P.O. Box 8, Shakopee, Minn. 55379.

CONTACTS: CONTENT: Britt Johnsen, 952-345-6387 or editor@savvy.mn ADVERTISING: 952-345-6477 or advertising@savvy.mn SUBSCRIPTION AND ADDRESS CHANGE: Ruby Winings, 952-345-6682 or circulation@swpub.com

PLEASE RECYCLE THIS MAGAZINE

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NOVEMBER 2013 | savvy.mn

I

try not to pick favorites, but I have to say that this edition has a special place in my heart. This is Savvy’s Literary Issue, where our writers explore all things writing. The more time I spend in this industry, the more I realize how important it is to have an encouraging, supportive group of people to aid you as you develop your skills. People to give you feedback.

People to listen to your questions. People to listen to your struggles. People who deal with the same challenges you deal with.

In celebration of that fact, this month we explore this idea of finding your tribe.

Unsie Zuege looks at the various community groups devoted to helping writers connect with each other. Check out her story, and her suggestions for joining local groups, on page 22.

Some people may not feel the need to connect with other writers as much as they need a deadline. Aren’t so many writers that way? I am. I need the pressure of a deadline to motivate me; otherwise I can easily get lost in researching and ruminating but never bringing the work to fruition. Hundreds of thousands of writers in America would likely agree, as Allison Roorda tells us on page 24.

Roorda looked into National Novel Writing Month, which challenges writers to crank out a novel in just one month. How’s that for motivating pressure?

For those of you who are self-motivated and have a vision or desire to create a blog, Liv Lane – blogging maven, mama, coach, artist, and inspiring teacher – guides readers to blogging success on page 26. She gives us her best advice, and let me tell you, she is definitely the expert to be doling out these tips. Check her story out, and be sure to let us know if you decide to start a blog (and share your link on our Facebook page).

Speaking of mamas and mavens and writers and coaches, I’d like to introduce you to our cover model and super woman, Shannon Tassava. She is an author, a wellness coach, a mom, a blogger and an all-around lovely person. Scott Fagerstrom interviewed her about her book, her career track, and how she balances everything. Read her inspiring story on page 14.

Another person whose craft is definitely

worth your attention is Stephanie Kotelnicki, our relationship columnist. She’s real, she’s hilarious, and each month she shares her life stories and advice for Savvy readers.

I encourage you to not only read her column (her latest article is on page 20) but also follow her Facebook page, Stephanie’s Savvy.

Now I pass the mic to you. What do you think of what you read here this month? Do you have any story ideas of amazing women we should write about or topics we should touch on? Let us know what you think by commenting on our articles (at Savvy.mn), chatting at our Facebook page, or dropping me a line at editor@savvy.mn.

As always, thank you for reading. You make what we do possible. Hope to “see” you online in the comments!

Until next time,

Britt Johnsen Editor in Chief

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savvy.mn | NOVEMBER 2013

5

fashion | trends

1 2 3 cute 4 8 7 6 5 AND COZY The days are getting shorter and there is a chill in the air. Winter is upon is. Stay warm in style with any of these fabulous coats.

By Emily Abbott

1. Elle Ruffle Pleated Trench. Kohls $90. Pair this ruffled trench with pumps and pearls or your favorite winter bootie. 2. Padded Jacket. H&M $60. Stay ultra warm this winter in a padded jacket and faux fur hood. Make sure to wear it with a polka dot jersey top and booties. 3. Button Front Belted Pea Coat. Maurices $129. Infuse your cold-weather wardrobe with a richly-colored pea coat. You can dress up or down with this coat, too. 4. Navy Fur Collar Parka Jacket. Miss Selfridge $130. This navy parka defies the winter blues with its luxe fur collar and jewel tone color. This jacket is perfect for those extra chilly days. 5. Midori Moto Jacket. Northface $140. For those extra chilly days, try this moto jacket. Treated with a durable water repellent, this coat is both gorgeous and practical. 6. Paul and Joe Sister Knitted Cardi Coat. Net-a-Porter $150. This cozy cardi coat is the perfect thing to wrap up in this winter. Cinch it in at the waist to create an hourglass silhouette. 7. Quilted Down Coat with Faux Fur Hood. Burlington $59.99. Snow bunnies stay extra warm in this puffer, and the zipper pockets offer a cute place to put your mittens. 8. Womanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Mighty Lite Hooded Jacket. Columbia $140. Ditch the basic black this season and try this icy steel color instead. It will pair beautifully with everything in your closet, especially rich jewel tones.

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BY ALLISON ROORDA A new look can make you feel like a brand new person. Mother-daughter duo Pat Postudensek and Dawn Weitzel got a brand new look thanks to Savvy and Spalon Montage.

“My mother picked up a magazine as we were walking out of the library, and she saw the contest,” Weitzel says. “So then I entered us, and that’s how it came to be.”

This summer Savvy offered readers a chance to win a makeover for two from Spalon Montage in Chanhassen. “I thought it’d be fun, just as a challenge,” Postudensek says.

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This summer, Spalon Montage staff gave a new look to mother-daughter duo Pat Postudensek (bottom left) and Dawn Weitzel (bottom right).

The two women were chosen for the makeovers, which included hair cuts, coloring and makeup at Spalon Montage.

“They cut and colored and highlighted the hair, just the basic color and styling,” Postudensek says. “It was very nice. I hadn’t had a haircut for five and a half months, so it was basically shapeless.”

Weitzel says her hair looked very different after the makeover.

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stripy, so the all-over color was amazing.”

The ladies also had their makeup done by experts at Spalon Montage.

“Just getting a fresh new look was great,” Postudensek says. “We had to go out and do a little shopping afterwards.”

Allison Roorda is a writer at Savvy. Send feedback to editor@savvy.mn.

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nosh | tea

HOW TO FIND

THE PERFECT TEA

BY ALLISON ROORDA

You’ve probably heard great things about health benefits of drinking tea. People now know about different kinds of tea — green, white, rooibus — as well as herbal tisanes that promise less caffeine than coffee and positive ingredients that have health benefits.

So what is the healthiest tea?

According to Bill Waddington, owner of TeaSource, the healthiest tea is any tea that you like.

“We get the question all the time, which tea is healthiest,” Waddington says. “The healthiest tea for you is the tea you like, because then you’ll drink it all the time and stop drinking Pepsi and coffee.”

Waddington says his TeaSource stores in St. Anthony, St. Paul and Eden Prairie are very careful not to advertise teas that promise certain health cures or disease prevention. He is more concerned with helping people find that perfect cup of tea to enjoy.

Tea has become increasingly popular over the last decade, which might explain the new increase in stores like TeaSource that sell a variety of loose leaf tea.

Neal Grasdalen, co-owner of Indigo Tea Co. with his wife Annie, says there are a couple of reasons for the increase in popularity. One is health reasons; with the aging population of baby boomers, more people are looking for new ways to stay healthy. But Neal also sees a lot of young people getting interested in tea.

“I think with that group, they’ve seen it all when it comes to coffee,” he says. “I think in the tea market, we’re seeing things happening, where years ago, people were brewing tea in teabags. Now people are buying loose tea and taking it home to brew, moving more into a gourmet direction.”

Indigo Tea Co. in Burnsville has 200 types of tea available to buy or to drink in the store.

“I think it’s almost evenly split between

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NOVEMBER 2013 | savvy.mn

black teas, green teas and herbals,” Neal says. He also noted black teas still outsell everything else, partly because many people looking for tea were previously coffee drinkers and are used to robust flavors. Green teas are popular, but Neal says women tend to like flavored teas and men tend to like unflavored teas.

TeaSource has a couple ways of finding teas for customers. The stores offer tea classes to teach about customs or pairings with tea as well as tea sample days, where the store offers a deal of five cups of different teas at once. Sometimes customers will come into the store looking for a specific ingredient in their tea, Waddington says.

“We’ll help them find one that they enjoy,” he says. “They’ll say I’m looking for lemongrass tea or rosehips tea. We carry a lot of herbs. Then we can very simply point people to the herb they’re looking for. We help them find a tea they like with that certain ingredient.”

Waddington encourages customers to do their own research either by going to their doctor or other health care personnel or looking up studies from organizations like The Tea Association of the USA or The United Kingdom Tea Council. He also encourages customers to find a tea they like to drink.

“Then you don’t treat it cod liver oil,” he says. “When you do the research, it all says tea is phenomenally healthy with basically no side effects.”

Waddington says the list of health benefits from tea is so long, it’s phenomenal, but he does ask people to familiarize themselves with legitimate sources before looking for teas that promise to cure cancer.

Allison Roorda writes for Savvy. Send feedback to editor@savvy.mn.

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13

MamaWonderland in particularly stay-athome motherhood, was a little like tumbling down the rabbit hole. Once I was there, things seemed crazy and strange to me.

”

PHOTO CREDIT: STEVE LUCAS PHOTOGRAPHY

SHANNON TASSAVA

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Shannon Tassava found adventure and success while combining writing, coaching and stay-at-home mama duties.

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NOVEMBER 2013 | savvy.mn

BY SCOTT FAGERSTROM Fast track or mommy track?

It’s the gut-wrenching decision faced by millions of professional women about to give birth: Will you spend the next several years at home with the kids—possibly risking your career—or head back to work while the children are still in diapers, securing a position on the corporate ladder but forever questioning your priorities?

It’s also a dilemma that explains why so many women are inspired by the story of Northfield’s Shannon Tassava, who stepped away from a promising career as a psychologist to become a full-time parent. In Tassava’s case, the decision turned out to be not only personally fulfilling, but also launched her onto a new, even more successful career track—this time as a prominent author and sought-after life coach specializing in SAHM (Stay-at-Home-Mom) issues.

Tassava, whose daughters Julia and Genevieve are now 9 and 7, respectively, has literally written the book on successfully navigating the mommy track. The Essential Stay-at-Home Mom Manual: How to Have a Wondrous Life Amidst Kids and Chaos, was published at the end of 2011 to rave reviews.

The daughter of a Lutheran pastor and his stay-at-home wife, Tassava has always looked back with fondness at her pre-school days, spent in a loving home environment with her mom and two sisters, and wanted her own children to grow up with the same sort of happy memories.

“I knew I wanted to be home for some time when my first daughter was born,” Tassava, a native of Moorhead, Minn., told Savvy in a recent interview. By the time daughter Genevieve came along in 2006, “there was no way I could keep working.”

But that doesn’t mean the transition was easy. Like generations of women before her, Tassava says, she quickly learned that life as a full-time mom wasn’t going to be made up of the heart-tugging scenes frequently portrayed in diaper commercials and parenting magazines.

“The adjustment was far more challenging than I had anticipated,” she says, with a smile bordering on a wince. With a bachelor’s degree in psychology from Macalester College and a doctorate in the same subject from the University of Chicago, “I thought I knew a lot about staying healthy and taking good care of myself. It was quite a surprise how challenging it was to be healthy and balanced

as an at-home mom.”

In the first place, she said, there was an overwhelming sense of isolation: Her husband, Christopher, was working long hours as a grant writer at Carleton College.

In addition, “my family was far away and I didn’t have any mom friends. They didn’t have children yet; they were off getting advanced degrees.”

Tassava also found that she’d never appreciated the built-in time constraints of a professional job: “At work, you finish a project and it’s done.” When there’s always more laundry, more cooking, more cuts and scrapes to bandage, more lessons to plan, “it’s really hard, even with a partner.”

And finally, there was the sense of shame, partly self-imposed (“One thing moms struggle with the most is giving themselves some alone time without feeling guilty about it”) and partly from the scorn generally directed at any mom who dares to publicly express frustration about diapers and drool (check out, for example, the one-star reviews of Tassava’s book on Amazon.com).

“I never for a moment doubted it was what I wanted to do. But even though I loved being home with my baby, that doesn’t mean it wasn’t crazy hard.”

In what little spare time she was able to enjoy, Tassava found solace the same way her mother did three decades earlier: Writing it all down.

“I come by my writing affinity honestly; it must be in the genes,” Tassava laughed.

Her mother, Sandy, was fairly well-known among Lutherans during the 1980s for her humorous-yet-moving anecdotes, published in the denomination’s journals, about life as a pastor’s stay-at-home wife.

“She was an English major in college … she’d taught some writing as a young adult,” so it was only natural that after giving birth to three children, she took pen in hand to chronicle the adventures of her offspring.

“Lo and behold, all these years later, I sort of stumbled upon doing that as well.”

Tassava had two advantages her mother didn’t. One was the Internet; at the time she started writing, blogging was just taking off, giving young, untested authors the potential to reach a worldwide audience, so long as they didn’t mind working for free. Thus was born Tassava’s “Mama In Wonderland” blog, a title that was both literary and ironic.

“Entering motherhood, particularly stay-at-home motherhood, was a little like

In her blog and book, Tassava borrows extensively from the latest psychological research and applies it to the job of parenting. Among her recommendations: Get Some Rest: Parenting, no less than any other job, requires time off—no matter how guilty that makes a mom feel.

Practice Mindful Parenting: The ancient Buddhist practice of focusing without judgment on the present moment, rather than worrying about the future or regretting the past, is proving to provide all sorts of health benefits, psychologists say. Tassava says it applies to parenting as much as it does to any other job.

“It doesn’t come easy to me, (but) I’ve found that when I really try to do it, I get so much more enjoyment out of my day. If I can just immerse myself in the afternoon at the pool with my daughters, and not be thinking in my head what chores are awaiting me at home, I have all that fun of those hours, and of course the chores will still be there.”

Rationality > Panic: Cognitive therapy, as popularized in the book “Feeling Good,” holds that many people have the ability “talk themselves out of” anxiety and depression. It may not work for people with actual mood disorders, Tassava points out, but in ordinary circumstances (say, a mom at home with two screaming toddlers), it’s easy to start thinking “I can’t take this!” or “I have to get out of here!” In such cases, she says, it may be helpful to consciously use the rational brain, asking oneself “What’s the most likely scenario here?” and “What will I do in that case?”

Find a Tribe: Echoing Hillary Clinton’s famous “It takes a village” comment, Tassava urges stay-at-home parents to seek out a network of supporters, or as she calls it, a “tribe.” Friends, families, neighbors, former co-workers—anyone who understands that the frustrations that sometimes come with full-time parenting.

-Scott Fagerstrom

tumbling down the rabbit hole. Once I was there, things seemed crazy and strange to me,” much as they seemed to the title character of Lewis Carroll’s Alice in Wonderland.

As for irony, “let me tell you, with a baby in one arm and another yankin’ at your knees, savvy.mn | NOVEMBER 2013

15

the phone is ringing and the diapers need to be changed, you don’t feel like you’re in Wonderland.”

The other advantage, Tassava realized, was her advanced degree in psychology, and the insights that gave her into the sort of problems so often faced by stay-at-home mothers. In addition to humorous anecdotes, “Mama In Wonderland” gave Tassava a chance to play online counselor, dispensing the wisdom of a clinical psychologist to people going through the same sorts of stress she was experiencing first-hand.

“When I started my blog, I had just spent two years as an at-home mom, and my second was about to be born. I’d had a lot of time to reflect on what was wonderful about it, what was really challenging about it. I knew that if I’d had these reactions to adjusting to this new role, then probably other women did, too.”

She certainly got that right: Among the early fans of Tassava’s blog was Margaret Colangelo, who was also a Northfield stayat-home mom with girls.

Tassava’s writing “reaffirmed that, yes, it could be horrible” going through long days with toddlers and no other adults, “yet it was exactly the right thing” for her. “The days are long but the years are short. Being with kids is so hard, but the years still fly by and suddenly they’re 12. It’s a paradox.”

Thanks to people like Colangelo, the blog caught fire, and from there, Tasssava said, the writing opportunities “grew organically,” to other blogging groups (herblog.com), newspapers (the Northfield News), magazines (Motherworlds, Macalester Today), websites (Livestrong.com and WorkItMom.com) and anthologies (P.S. What I Didn’t Say: Unsent Letters to Our Female Friends and Torn: True Stories of kids, Career, and the Conflict of Modern Motherhood).

Tassava’s writing is “very honest,” says Rob Hardy, a Carleton College Latin teacher who was a stay-at-home dad in the 1990s, when his two boys were infants.

“She’s very up front about what’s going well and what’s not going so well, it’s very realistic,” he says.

Hardy stumbled onto her blog shortly after Tassava began writing, and has been a fan ever since.

“She has two girls; I have two boys,” Hardy said. “The development of blogs has been really useful for people who have kids.

It was like someone else living my life, even

16

NOVEMBER 2013 | savvy.mn

nt though there were different details.” h The book deal, with Seattle’s Booktrope, was “a ,” dream come true for me,” d Tassava says with a broad grin. “Since I was a littlee d child, I’d always dreamed of being a published author..

It’s one of those things I just assumed could never happen. I still pinch myself sometimes.”

Tassava now faces another transition—and with it, another opportunity to offer a psychologist’s perspective on the issues faced by professionals who’ve chosen to be full-time parents. “ W ith parenting, there’s always a new phase. Last year was the first time that both my daughters were in all-day school. Boy, was that a change.”

Like others in the same position, Tassava found herself wondering, “Is this when you’re supposed to go back to work? Is it not? What are your choices at this point? Is it OK to be at home fulltime if your kids are at school?” On the one hand, there’s the feeling of responsibility to once again bolster the family finances with a second income; on the other, “there are new demands on you: Volunteering at the school, incorporating choir and sports … your social life changes as your children’s social life changes.”

For Tassava, having kids in school means new opportunities to balance family and career.

Much of her time is still spent in traditional family-matriarch roles: “I’m currently focusing on my family. I feel very passionately about volunteering in my daughters’ classrooms, and I very much love running my household. It’s important to me, for instance, to cook healthy meals from scratch, and those things take time.”

On the other hand, Tassava has found herself tiptoeing back into the professional world. Her blog and book have made her a recognized expert on healthy lifestyles,

particularly when it comes to empowering stressed-out women. When people seek out her advice as a life coach, she can now occasionally accommodate them.

Life coaching incorporates aspects of psychological counseling, but “it’s not therapy focused on clinical disorders,” she said. “It’s more focused on learning to be healthier in one’s life.

“Any number of things might fall under that umbrella: Time management, self-care, nutrition. It’s just getting more and more popular. People are finding me through word of mouth, or from my book or website.”

And of course, there’s always the possibility of another book.

“I do think there’s an opportunity to write about, and talk about, the transition to being the mom of school-aged kids. In the back of my head, this is all an idea for Book No. 2.”

Scott Fagerstrom is a Twin Cities-based freelance writer. Send feedback to editor@ savvy.mn.

Join Savvy Magazine For Two

Fabulous Literary Events TWIN CITIES MYSTERY FANS UNITE! Date: Thursday, Oct. 17 • Time: 6 p.m. to 9 p.m.

Cost: $10 per person Place: Smith Douglas More House – Dunn Bros. Coffee 8107 Eden Prairie Rd Eden Prairie, MN 55347 The first of two Savvy events celebrating Minnesota writing, three celebrated Minnesota mystery authors will read from their books, talk about their work and take questions from the audience.

Participating speakers Judy Borger • Rich Thompson • Mickie Turk Snacks and beverages will be provided. You’ll also get a chance to win door prizes.

GET PUBLISHED!

Date: Thursday, Oct. 24 • Time: 6 p.m. to 9 p.m.

Cost: $15 per person Place: Turtle’s Bar & Grill, 132 1st Ave E, Shakopee The second in two Savvy events celebrating Minnesota writing, three local publishing professionals will show you how to make your dreams of becoming an author a reality.

Participating Speakers Tom Kerber, Chief Publishing Executive, Beaver’s Pond Press

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Heather Bouwman Twin Cities-based children’s author

Snacks and beverages will be provided. You’ll also get a chance to win door prizes.

Visit Savvy.mn for more information, click on events to purchase tickets.

For questions, contact Lisa at lkalkes@swpub.com savvy.mn | NOVEMBER 2013

17

health | walking

Walk Way TWIN CITIES VOLKSSPORT WALKING CLUB DRAWS ENTHUSIASTIC PARTICIPANTS.

BY ALLISON ROORDA Walking can be great exercise, and a club in the Twin Cities has found a way to take full advantage of it. The Twin Cities Volkssport Walking Club is one of the Volkssport clubs across America, organizing seasonal and year-round walking events.

“Volkssporting is a noncompetitive walk,” says Rita Holland, a member of the American Volkssport Association. “It started

18

NOVEMBER 2013 | savvy.mn

in Germany; it’s a sport of the people. They just decided that they needed healthy things.

They’re all over Europe now. It came to the U.S. by way of American servicemen.”

Volkssports walking routes are typically 5K to 10K, and they often take place over a scenic or historic area. Anyone can join a volkssport event, but one of the draws is that walks can count towards credit.

“If you want, you can keep track of your walks in a book, you get a rubber stamp,”

Holland says. “You can get a pin and a patch and a certificate for the first 10, then 25, and for mileage.”

“The people that are active in it, they’ll have an event book and a distance book,” says Ken Johnson. “There was one woman who walked all 50 of the state capitols.”

Johnson is the president of the Twin Cities Volkssports club. The club sets up walking routes in and around the Twin Cities, and people are free to walk the routes

at their choosing. Walk boxes are located at the routes with maps and forms to fill out for members of the club in order to get their credit.

“Normally you have a three- to fourhour window,” Johnson says. “We’re working on one in 2014 in Hastings. We did one in Excelsior, where we have the map and the sheet and also lists of historical sites along the way.”

One thing Johnson likes about the Volkssports method of organized walking is that it still leaves the amount of time and effort up to the walkers.

“That’s the nice thing about it, if you decide you’re going to go and something comes up you don’t have to,” he says.

“You’re kind of on your own.”

“We have walk boxes at hotels and SuperAmericas,” Holland says. “You can get in and get the directions and do the walk on your own.”

In addition to walking events, Twin Cities Volkssports has events for skis and snowshoes in the winter, as well as some biking routes.

“I would recommend that [newcomers] go on a traditional walk so someone can see them through how it works,” Johnson says.

For $5, someone can get a membership in the club, two walk books and coupons for three walks.

“People are welcome,” Holland says.

“We’d love some new folks.”

For more information, visit the American Volkssport Association’s website at ava.org.

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19

relationships | dating

The ‘Guy ‘Guy The y Next Door’ Door’ Next Experiment Experiment

BY STEPHANIE KOTELNICKI

20

NOVEMBER 2013 | savvy.mn

eDATE

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profile is less than 270 words broken down into eleven answers to eleven questions. That’s one or two short sentences each,” I replied.

“That’s fair,” he resigned. “So what’s been coming in?”

“Mostly the same superficial crap that makes a woman want to punch a guy in the face.”

Most common are the following: “Hi there, beautiful princess!”

“Hello, how are you doing? You look very gorgeous.”

“Hey beautiful, how are you? Want to chat?”

Next, the blatantly sexual pieces: “Let me just start off by saying that I find you very attractive and am interested in

the possibility of meeting you. We’re both mature people so I’ll get right to the point.

I’m only interested in a regular NSA/FWB sexual relationship. That doesn’t mean it would just be sex and we couldn’t do other things as well, but sex would be the main part of our ‘relationship’. If you’re interested in something like this I could send you a picture of myself and take it from there.”

Finally, the most insulting advances of them all: “Will you give me a BJ?” Oh, DonDraper16 and 12inchfootlong, if only you had read my profile. You’d know that I write columns about these kinds of travesties and will happily share your pitiful

ILLUSTRATION CREDIT: COMBINED EFFORTS OF NICOLE BULLOCK, LINDSAY GERGEN, AND THINKSTOCK

“I read your profile and I liked what I saw. Let’s get creative! If your ex-boyfriend ran up to me and only had time to tell me two things, what would they be?” said a message in my online dating inbox.

The user, UndiIscovered, had a profile with one photo that showed some guy with his back to the camera, looking out over the ocean while the sun was setting.

Annoyed, I replied, “What would he say? He’d say: If you don’t read her profile she’ll know, and if you had actually read it you’d know why. Oh, and she doesn’t like liars.”

UndiIscovered was one of many browsers who hadn’t read my profile. How did I know?

Simple. I had stealthily applied an old job application trick. In the body of my profile, I noted: “Please write ‘Guy Next Door’ somewhere in your message so I know you read at least some of this.”

This idea originally started as an experiment to gauge how many messengers were reading the contents of my page. After all, when a devoted vegetarian gets an immediate dinner invite to one of the top steak houses in town, she can’t help but wonder.

As time went on the ‘Guy Next Door’ experiment became an incredible filtering system. No ‘Guy Next Door,’ no cigar! Especially if the message in my inbox started with, “I read your profile” and then followed with commentary that suggested all my value lies in my physical attributes.

“But if your profile is really long you can’t expect a guy to read it all,” a friend argued when I told him about my screening strategy.

“One. Yes, I can. Two. Don’t think I didn’t already anticipate that kind of excuse. My

messages (and screen names).

In a dating medium that consists of carefully chosen keywords to exemplify our qualities and stats that display the characteristics we seek in a partner, there is no room to tolerate this “men are just visual creatures” excuse. Reading a potential partner’s profile prior to engaging in conversation isn’t demanding; it’s respectful. It’s a first impression that should never be taken lightly, by either gender.

If you agree with me, I encourage you to implement and holdfast to a filtering system. Or at the very least, catch opportunities to prevent future gender shortcomings from those around you.

“What am I supposed to say in my message to this girl?” asked the same friend after creating his first online dating profile.

“Did you read her profile?”

“No, but her pictures are cute.”

“There is no ‘but’ in this conversation,” I told him. “If you want to become one of those guys then, out of respect for women everywhere, I won’t help you navigate this.

This isn’t rocket science. Read her profile, and message her if you have something in common or if her tone sounds appealing. Stop acting like one of those online trolls and start behaving like a guy next door.”

Stephanie Kotelnicki is truly terrified that someday she will be “that old lady with cats.” Not because she is afraid of being old, or lonely, but simply because she does not really care for cats. She thought it made sense to write this column because she is one of many single women traversing the complicated terrain that is dating, love, sex and life. In the short amount of time she’s spent on this planet she’s learned the following: It isn’t fun to date boys who don’t like it when you win at card games. Friends are your best resource for support and fun but they can also drive you a little crazy. People will always ask, “Why?” after you ask them, “What is your astrological sign?” And finally, no matter how tenderhearted Stephanie may be, her foot almost always ends up in her mouth.

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21

love & life | community

Find Your Tribe Y o u could w r ite the next 50 Shades of Grey. Or a romantic zombie thriller that will make everyone forget the Twilight series altogether (“Stephanie who?” people might say.)

Or perhaps you’ll be scribbling notes for a memoir that friends say would be even better than Eat, Pray, Love.

But something’s holding you back. That annoying voice in your head that whispers, “You? A writer? Ha. Get over yourself.”

You can silence that voice. Replace it with the encouraging voices of fellow writers who, like you, want to write, write better, and have readers hungry for their next blog post, cozy mystery, science fiction adventure or true crime thriller.

Improve your writing skills, storytelling skills, grammar, vocabulary – anything, you name it – by joining a writers group. There are many of them out there. They range from writers just starting out to writers ready to polish manuscripts and find a publisher.

The key is to try out a variety of groups, to find the one or two that suits you best.

Twin Cities writers’ groups foster talent and community.

BY UNSIE ZUEGE

One way to take the plunge is to check out the Loft Literary Center in downtown Minneapolis. The Loft is a nationally recognized and highly regarded Twin Cities literary center that offers myriad writing classes, workshops and conferences for writers of all abilities and genres. Instructors include local and nationally published writers representing many genres including, memoir, poetry, young adult, science fiction, romance and more.

If you’re more of a nonfiction writer who wants to write for your club newsletter, sharpen your writing skills for your business’s blog, or freelance for magazines, there are plenty of classes in those areas, too.

group of like-minded writers closer to home. Check out your local libraries and community education programs for classes or workshops. The Carver County Library system also offers several groups for writers at its branches.

Waconia Library Writers Workshop • Meets on the first Saturday of the month at 10:30 a.m. in the library’s fireplace area. Writers may drop in on this informal group as often as they like. The group’s purpose is encouraging one another as everyone fulfills the “writer within.” Located at 217 South Vine St., Waconia. Call (952) 4424714 for more information.

Chanhassen Library Writers Group and Authors Collective • Meets the third Saturday of every month GET LOCAL from 10 a.m. to noon. This group of aspiring Maybe you’d rather meet with a small

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• The Authors Collective meets the fourth Saturday of every month from 1 to 3:30 p.m. The meetings enable authors to gather and share a wealth of knowledge on topics including legal issues, marketing and much more. For more information, contact Dan O’Brien a dobrienmn@yahoo.com or Laurel Means means005@embarqmail. com. Chanhassen Library is located at 7711 Kerber Blvd., Chanhassen, (952) 227-1500.

Writing class series with Rosanne Bane from The Loft, at Chanhassen Library Rosanne Bane is a creativity coach and author of “Around the Writer’s Block: Using Brain Science to Solve Writer’s Resistance” and “Dancing in the Dragon’s Den.” In more than 20 years teaching at the Loft Literary Center, University of St. Thomas, University of Minnesota and other adult education programs, she has given thousands of writers the tools to bust through blocks, build effective writing habits and achieve their writing dreams and goals.

Saturday, Nov. 2, 1-3 p.m.

“Find a Writing Kickstart” Whether you’re an experienced writer launching a new writing project or an aspiring writer wondering how to get started, beginnings can be both exciting and a little daunting. Learn how to get your great ideas for stories, articles, essays or a book out of your head and onto the page. You’ll practice brainstorming, clustering, freewriting and other ways to get your writing off to a good start. You’ll also complete an interest inventory and learn about habits that will sustain your writing in the future.

Register by calling (952) 227-1500.

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“Six Stages to Successfully Complete the Creative Process” Getting words on the page is essential,

but there’s a lot more to the writing process beyond that. There are six stages in the creative process and in only one of the six do you have fingers on the keyboard or pen on the page. Find out what these six stages are and what you need to do in each of them to complete the creative process with a piece of writing you’re proud of.

Saturday, Dec. 14, 1-3 p.m.

“Please Don’t Feed the Saboteur! Recognizing and Responding to the Inner Critic” The saboteur can be a harsh inner voice that never stops criticizing you. But the saboteur has a variety of disguises: pseudo protectiveness, fantasy that everything will work out without any effort on your part, distraction, accidents, and self-destructive habits are just a few. Don’t let the saboteur run (and ruin) your life. Learn to recognize the five forms and the four characteristics of the saboteur and arm yourself with strategies to respond appropriately so you feed your creative spirit, not the saboteur.

MEETUP GROUPS

pointers, and positive feedback. No hardand-fast rules except “Do your best and don’t feel guilty.” The writing group should be enjoyable, the discussion leader points out. It shouldn’t be a chore.

Find Encouragement: Writer Power is an encouraging and growing community of writers and authors. It takes a positive approach to writing and setting goals.

Is this you?

• Want to start writing but have not • Have an idea of a story, article, book and want to take the next step • Have an article, story, book in progress but have not finished it • Have such finished but do not know what to do next • Want to get work published • Want to meet with others in a positive environment • Want to brainstorm what to write next • Want to meet other writers and authors • Want to meet as writers in a positive, encouraging environment Writer Power is a positive group that is supportive and recognizes that people are each unique with different styles, time tables and talents.

Explore Your Inner Artist: Channel your inner artist with the Artist’s Way Meetup. This group is passionate about enlivening natural creativity and exploring ideas in Julia Cameron’s book, The Artist’s Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity.

So there you have it – some easy ways to ease into writing, polishing your prose and making some new friends. What are you waiting for? Find a group and get busy.

Have you heard of Meetup? It’s described as the world’s largest network of local groups.

With Meetup, you can find your “tribe” of like-minded writers. It also provides an easy way to create your own group of people with similar interests. Visit meetup.com/ writers, then sit back, look and marvel at all the groups out there. There’s one that will fit your needs.

Each site has a link for schedules, locations, and contact person.

Here is a sampling of current Meetup writing groups and their personalities: Get feedback and improve: Western Suburbs Writers Group helps you learn to Unsie Zuege is a staff writer for Savvy and be a better writer. Turn in submissions for Southwest Newspapers. Send feedback to review by others in the group for praise, uzuege@swpub.com.

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23

t u O t I k n a r C Hundreds of thousands of Americans will write a novel this month. Will you?

BY ALLISON ROORDA

S

ometimes it helps to have a goal to aim for. But what about the goal of writing a novel in a month?

That’s what the participants of National Novel Writing Month commit to each November. National Novel Writing Month, often abbreviated NaNoWriMo, sets the challenge of writing 50,000 words in the 30 days of November. It started in 1999, founded by Chris Baty, and is now run by the Office of Letters and Lights, a non-profit organization based in Oakland, Calif. In 2011, NaNoWriMo had 256,618 participants across the United States and internationally, with 36,843 of them reaching the 50,000-word goal, which is about the equivalent of a 175-page novel.

Anna Masrud was part of an online group of writers on Facebook in 2009 when she first heard about the month-long challenge. When one of her Facebook friends said she was planning to participate, Masrud’s group ended up all joining the writing challenge together.

Masrud won the challenge of 50,000 words that first year and set precedence for herself. “I kind of have this standard now where I don’t want to lose,” she says.

During her first year of participating in the challenge, Masrud also met other people in the area who were also trying to write a novel in a month. National Novel Writing Month offers Write Ins, or scheduled meetings for participants in the same geographical area. Masrud

24

NOVEMBER 2013 | savvy.mn

attended a Write In at TeaSource in Eden Prairie, where she met Reesha Rugroden.

Rugroden was one of the participants last year, but it wasn’t her first experience.

“I think I just saw it by following random people on the Internet,” she says. “It looked like an interesting program and I thought I’d give it a try. This was back in 2006. That first year, I wrote a couple thousand words.”

In 2011, five years later, Rugroden wrote 100,000 words in the 30 days of NaNoWriMo. “Third year, I had a 50,000 word outline and I wrote 100,000 words, and since then I’ve always tried for more than 50,000,” she says.

Masrud says the community of writers is why she has stayed with the challenge four years in a row.

“Honestly, the Write Ins have been the reason I’ve been doing it year after year,” she says. “It was that community that really pulled me in. Everyone was in the same boat as me.”

Participants in National Novel Writing Month sign up on the website, nanowrimo. org, where they can create an account. The website includes a daily goal and a chart for keeping track of the progress made towards the 50,000-word goal. Writers can validate their novel, proving they made the 50,000-word goal, during the last five days by uploading their novel to the website. No prizes are awarded, other than the feeling of accomplishment.

“I think its appealing to people because they know they need a kick in the pants,” Rugroden says.

“People say someday I’ll write a novel, but I’ve never had the time. It’s a way to give themselves permission to just go all out.”

Rugroden has tackled the same novel for the past two years, writing 100,000 words in her fiction in 2011 and then rewriting the draft in 2012.

“My fifth (attempt) is probably the most important one I’ve ever written,” she says. “I’m hoping to have that edited by December and ready to start submitting to editors.”

Masrud says she loves the novel that came out of her first year of NaNoWriMo. After winning the 50,000-word challenge, she kept writing and ended with a 90,000-word fantasy novel.

“That’s probably what I am doing this year’s NaNo is just editing that and trying to get it published,” she says.

The community of writers is important to Masrud, who now works at TeaSource as well as at a publishing house, Spencer Hill Press.

“I wanted to get experience editing and also gain connections and relationships with

WRITE INS One of the features of NaNoWriMo is the opportunity to meet up with other people in the same area who are participating in the same challenge. Write Ins are scheduled

by Municipal Liaisons, people who moderate forums and events for a region, such as the Twin Cities, or by regular participants by communicating through online forums.

“I’m excited this year,” says Reesha Rugroden. “I’ve formed a writing group in my church, and we’re going to meet at TeaSource Monday night.”

Rugroden’s current Write In meets at TeaSource in Eden Prairie on Wednesdays from 4:30 to 8 p.m. and is open to participants and those just looking for a scheduled time to work on writing.

-Allison Roorda

other people who liked writing,” she says.

But writers aren’t the only ones who can benefit from a crazy goal like National Novel Writing Month. Rugroden says she has some friends who have taken the same basic concept and applied it to a different goal.They take a month when they dedicate all their free time to one goal, even if it seems ridiculous.

“It not only gives people permission, but it’s a great community of writers,” she says.

“Also, just the idea of what could happen, what if? A lot of people don’t think they can be writers. But in the back of their minds is the question, ‘What if I tried this?’”

Direct permission, as well as an extra boost of motivation, are what Masrud finds unique about the challenge.

“I honestly think what is for me is that when you’re so busy with things in your life, you keep putting off writing,” she says.

“NaNo provides a unique opportunity to write and to meet up with people who write. And then it also gives that deadline and the kick in the pants. You do it anyway because you want to show people that you can. I always seem to write the most during NaNo.”

Allison Roorda writes for Savvy. Send feedback to editor@savvy.mn.

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25

love & life | blogger

HOW TO Create a Successful

BLOG

A

nyone can start a blog. But not everyone has what it takes to make that blog meaningful, rewarding and sustainable. If you love to tell stories, give advice or share knowledge, blogging is an awesome outlet for your creativity and wisdom.

But it takes more than compelling writing to keep a blog afloat.

The Internet is littered with millions of abandoned blogs. In most cases, they were started by people who jumped into blogging with stars in their eyes, expecting to gain huge exposure, credibility, fans, revenue or personal fulfillment. In fact, Wordpress – one of the leading platforms for bloggers – reports that it helps launch 100,000 new blogs every day.

When success doesn’t come overnight, most of those new bloggers will grow disillusioned – and many will quit cold turkey.

Even published authors often falter when it comes to building and maintaining a blog that keeps them and their readers engaged.

Why? Because it’s not just about the writing.

In the rush to establish their online presence, most people overlook the three things that are most critical to their blogging success.

rreaders’ lack of response. With so many blogs to choose from, readers have a right to be picky. They gravitate to authentic, compelling content written by people who clearly have a passion for the topic.

So choose a theme you’re genuinely excited about and have been for years. This will help ensure you stay motivated and that your to a blank screen, take some time to think passion shines through. about your reasons for blogging and what kind of content you consistently want to PATIENCE put into the world. What’s the primary Be honest with yourself about why you focus of your blog? Is it about life as an want to blog in the first place. If the enjoyartist? Muddling through mamahood? ment of writing about a topic you love isn’t The trials and tribulations of working in enough to sustain you for a while, you’ll your industry? The more focused you are struggle to stay motivated in the long run. on the theme and essence of your blog, Building an audience takes time, persistence the easier it will be to stay engaged and and a willingness to consistently engage with attract a following. your readers and other bloggers.

Every month, 70 million Americans Once you gather those three essential read blogs. So there are bound to be plenty ingredients and stir in your unique stories and of people who’d want to read about life insights, you’ve got the recipe for a blog with a as you know it. Embrace who you are, bright future. Here’s to your success! where you’ve been and what you’ve learned.

Consider what makes you and your stories are unique, and then make sure each post Liv Lane calls herself a Human Sparkler, devoted to helping women define and reflects that.

ignite their inner sparks – the traits, talents and passions that light them up from the PASSION Bloggers who write for others first – writing inside out. She has mentored hundreds of what they think people want to hear instead of bloggers around the world, and profiles an PURPOSE what comes straight from the heart – typically inspiring local blogger in each edition of Rather than just add random musings get bored with the process and frustrated by Savvy. Find her online at LivLane.com.

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love & life | astrology

savvy sun signs

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ARIES MARCH 21 - APRIL 19 Your growing edge this month: dealing with uneven power dynamics between people. Not everyone sees things the way you do; isn’t it always a shock when you remember that? You wise up this month, and that is good. You are especially energized to follow through on commitments on the 8th. Life gets busy on the 13th and 14th; but that’s OK with you. With your ruling planet in Virgo, it feels good to tidy up the details. Just remember to take it one day at a time. At the Full Moon on the 17th, notice your strength and confidence. Thanksgiving feels bigger than usual with family and feelings taking center stage.

TAURUS APRIL 20 - MAY 20 Your growing edge this month: finding new sources of strength and inspiration. Life is surprising you and you are surprising yourself. Your ruling planet, Venus, is busy creating opportunity for you. What do you really want right now? Take a chance and assert yourself on the 15th through the 17th. The Full Moon on the 17th is in Taurus. You feel powerful and maybe just a little scared of new responsibilities. Take advantage of this energy to create more stability and structure. On Thanksgiving, you are tempted to over indulge. That’s OK; make sure you invest in the pleasures that serve you.

GEMINI MAY 21 - JUNE 21 Your growing edge this month: discerning when to speak and when to keep quiet. You like telling others what’s on your mind, but sometimes that can get you into trouble. From the first of the month on, you are in the thick of things.

Enjoy the stimulation even as you try to get yourself out of misunderstandings.

Things shift for you on the 10th when your ruling planet, Mercury, stations direct. You get to apply the lessons you’ve learned for the previous three weeks. At the Full Moon on the 17th, make a promise to be honest with yourself. That is a powerful commitment.

You are feeling expansive and social this Thanksgiving.

CANCER JUNE 22 - JULY 22 Your growing edge this month: tapping into deep resources you didn’t know you had. You’ve been developing a sixth sense about other people. You are being liberated from needing to control how others feel about their lives; however you may be tested by relationships in the three days leading up to the Full Moon on the 17th. Notice what works best to create more harmony.

Speak your mind on your power days: the 20th and 21st. If you’ve made a new commitment to let others handle their own problems, you might enjoy Thanksgiving more this year. However, don’t forget to show appreciation for your loved ones too.

LEO JULY 23 - AUGUST 22 Your growing edge this month: accepting emotional complexity and variability.

You are given lots of choices this month and most of them are good, but underneath all the excitement an undercurrent of self-doubt shows itself. You love being in the creative flow, but what happens when the flow is disrupted? You are learning to stick with your intentions in spite of ups and downs. With Mercury moving retrograde through Scorpio, it is good to be mindful of hidden feelings and fears that arise in communication snafus. Let your soul searching help you set long-range goals on the Full Moon on the 17th. Expect creative insights on the 23rd and 24th.

VIRGO AUGUST 23 - SEPTEMBER 22 Your growing edge this month: developing more patience with others.

There’s a lot going on for you, and the probability for mistakes and misunderstandings are high. You have high expectations for achievement now. Your patience is tested. Fortunately, your desire for excellence and your stamina are at a peak too. When Mercury, your ruling planet, turns direct on the 10th, take advantage of more clarity. On the Full Moon on the 17th, you experience a surge of productivity and are immersed in learning new skills. The days leading up to Thanksgiving (the 25th, 26th, and 27th) are excellent times to get organized for the holiday.

NOVEMBER 2013 | savvy.mn

love & life | astrology Teri Parsley Starnes is a professional astrologer living in Minneapolis. Her monthly horoscope is written exclusively for Savvy readers. Learn more about Starnes’ business, Starsdance Astrology, at starsdanceastrology.com.

Read more in astrology online at savvy.mn

LIBRA SEPTEMBER 23 - OCTOBER 23 Your growing edge this month: discerning how much to control and how much to trust in the realm of resources.

You like the finer things but need to figure out how to sustainably maintain this lifestyle. When Venus, your ruling planet, enters Capricorn on the 5th, get serious about your life goals. Venus spends more time than usual in this sign so you can expect a shift in how people see you professionally. Opportunities are coming if you work for them. You feel a power surge at the Full Moon on the 17th. Claim it. Thanksgiving sparkles with sociability and beauty that continues through the 29th.

SCORPIO OCTOBER 24 - NOVEMBER 22 Your growing edge this month: embracing your destiny. The Solar Eclipse on the 3rd in your sign brings a new focus.

Very likely, it will have something to do with your life purpose. Even if the task seems impossible, say yes. While Mercury moves retrograde through your sign until the 10th, think of communication miscues as messages from your guiding spirit. What is it telling you? Important relationships teach you about balancing your intensity with an appreciation for stability and security at the Full Moon on the 17th. Thanksgiving is a time to come from the heart. A sense of hopefulness can bring healing.

SAGITTARIUS NOVEMBER 22 - DECEMBER 21 Your growing edge this month: appreciating the wisdom of your elders. As a forward thinker, you tend to overlook the help that comes from those who have gone before you. Who are the trailblazers from the past you most admire? You are inspired on the 4th, 5th, and 6th. Since you are on the verge of a new outlook, use this inspiration to move forward. A bothersome selfcritical attitude shifts at the Full Moon on the 17th. You realize that creating a little order in the chaos is a good thing.

On the 21st, the Sun enters your sign and you jovially look forward to the holiday season.

CAPRICORN DECEMBER 22 - JANUARY 19 Your growing edge this month: enjoying your success. People tend to admire you for your integrity. That quality shines this month. It helps if you realize that not everyone has your surety about the right course of action. As people confront their own fears, you can be a supportive example to them. The 5th, 6th, and 7th are peak days for you to take stock of your blessings. With Venus entering Capricorn for a longer time than usual, you are able to appreciate life more. What will you give back to others in appreciation for your gifts?

Consider doing a gratitude practice as Thanksgiving approaches.

AQUARIUS JANUARY 20 - FEBRUARY 18 Your growing edge this month: learning to appreciate secrets. Not being in the loop can be terribly frustrating to you.

With Mercury retrograding through secretive Scorpio, we are all learning that communication runs deeper than we think; so cultivate discernment. The month starts with revolutionary zeal and you are probably at the center of creating change. You are in your element on the 9th and 10th. Communication gets easier. Adjustments need to be made on the 14th, especially in the realm of relationship. At the Full Moon on the 17th, you feel like standing your ground.

Thanksgiving is a time to appreciate these relationships as teachers.

PISCES FEBRUARY 19 - MARCH 20 Your growing edge this month: keeping up with inspiration after inspiration.

Your brand of intuition is just what the doctor ordered this month. You don’t mind getting lost, discovering something new, and then finding your way again. This talent of yours will be especially called for on the 10th, 11th, and 12th of the month. You may contradict yourself but notice how the paradox reveals insights to a problem you’ve been facing. At the Full Moon on the 17th, seek to balance compassion with action. Keep open hearted at Thanksgiving, especially toward yourself as you practice forgiveness.

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love & life | intuition

Explore

YOUR INTUITION with Jodi Livon

J

odi Livon, author of The Happy Medium, intuitive coach and resident psychic at Twin Cities Live, says everyone is intuitive.

Each month readers ask Livon about their questions around intuition and all things supernatural. In this month’s edition, readers ask about a young teenager’s intuition, health matters and unemployment.

In your book, The Happy Medium you discussed how it’s hard for you to be in crowded places like shopping malls because you can’t tune out all the energy from those that have passed on. My 13-year-old daughter has been this way for some time, avoiding malls and crowds, and is overwhelmed by the “chaos” of them but can’t tell me why. Could she be experiencing the same type of energies? She is highly aware of her surroundings at all times and seems to be absorbing too much of something? Also, she seems to be highly intuitive about dangerous things. Help!

Growing up can be a noisy experience, especially for highly insightful children. I’m not certain if what your daughter is going through is exactly what I went through, but I do know she is blessed to have a mom who isn’t afraid to ask questions. Encourage her to surround herself in white light and let her know that what she’s experiencing is something many children do. She needs to

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feel safe, so let her know that she is. Prior to being around large groups, make certain she has eaten enough and that she loves what she’s wearing. This will help her stay focused and make her less likely to absorb the energy around her.

My mother was recently diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. For the past few months she’s spoken a lot about my dad. He died 10 years ago. She said he visits her and claims they cook together but I know she cannot cook in the nursing home she lives in. Do you think my mom is seeing my dad or has she lost touch?

It sounds like she’s working something out about their relationship. This is a healthy step for her soul, and if she’s comforted by her experience, it’s even better.

Many people in our society view visits from spirits as ‘weird’ or ‘crazy’ but it is truly a natural occurrence and nothing to worry about. In her altered state, she may likely be seeing him. What is most important is that you are as open as you know how, and show her the love you have in your heart for both of your parents.

I’ve been looking for employment and have been out of work for almost a year. I’m a computer support specialist and want to start my own business but need a secure income. I don’t know which direction to

go, work for myself or someone else. Could you help me?

What have you done so far to move in the direction of setting up your own business? If you have not done much, you’ll probably do better with the structure an existing organization provides. A wonderful way to employ your own gut instincts is to ask yourself how you feel when you think of what it will take to generate clients. Do you feel energized or drained? Move in the direction that energizes you. Measure the facts and use your instincts when making decisions and you significantly increase your chance of success.

Send your questions for Jodi Livon to Savvy Editor in Chief Britt Johnsen and your question may appear in an upcoming edition of the magazine. Livon can’t answer every question but she’s grateful to receive all of them. Johnsen is at editor@savvy.mn or (952) 345-6387.

Jodi Livon is an author, resident psychic at Twin Cities Live, and she’s an intuitive coach for the business sector. She also offers readings for individuals. Her website is TheIntuitiveCoach.com.

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