Reinforcing Social Skills While Social D i s t a n c i n g Many parents are expressing concern about their children's social development at a time when socializing is limited. Understandably so since developing social skills is linked to success in school. But before they can learn academics, children need to know how to interact with others, control and express their feelings, and take care of basic tasks independently. Developing social skills prepares children for a lifetime of healthy interactions in all aspects of life. Social skills are the skills we use to communicate and interact with others, both verbally and non-verbally. They facilitate interactions through tone of voice, volume of speech, body language, and gestures. Social skills can be taught, practiced, and learned with effort, and helping children refine these skills requires a different set of strategies in each stage of their development. This process of internalizing and learning (or teaching) the norms and ideologies of society is called socialization, and it is paramount for the overall wellness of our community and culture. Many variables can influence the development of social skills in children; gender, birth rank, number of children in the family, and whether they attend daycare or preschool all influence social development. The pandemic has created yet another challenge no one saw coming-social distancing. How do you teach and practice these social skills when social interaction is limited?
games you can buy that target critical social-emotional learning skills. However, you may already have some that actually require a lot of social thinking skills. Games such as Apples to Apples (the way better and cleaner version of the game Cards Against Humanity) requires perspective-taking skills. It is a game in which players take turns being the judge. The judge gives a one-word prompt, and players have to pick from a set of cards in their hand which one best matches the prompt based on who is judging each round. Players have to think about what they know about the judge to predict how they will react and choose their favorite answer. It requires turn-taking and encourages asking for clarification, accepting/rejecting an idea, and accepting rejection. Choose games that involve communicating, sharing, and turn-taking. Talk your child through the steps of tolerating frustration and rejection. A child that can learn to lose gracefully will be a lifelong winner.
Although opportunities to be physically near others are limited, opportunities for socializing are everywhere. Because of the need for physical distancing, it does require more effort than arranging a playdate, but with an open mind and some outside-the-box thinking, you can help your child keep working on their social skills. Even while distancing, parents can continue to build on these skills by filling the voids and looking for teachable moments. For example, family members can be great teachers for conflict resolution and negotiation.
Perhaps as beneficial as play, reading is a great way to teach children about different social situations, empathy, and social problem-solving skills. Reading is known to improve focus and concentration in academics. That same focus is also essential to social interaction. Children are not born with the ability to feel empathy. They learn this skill through social interaction with family, friends, and society. Some research has shown that reading fiction can increase empathy by putting the reader inside the mind of another person. It allows the reader to feel what the
Play is important work. For young children, playing is how they learn to think, problem-solve, and investigate the world. It is through play that children discover that learning is fun and become enthusiastic lifelong learners. Playing requires a lot of social thinking skills, sharing, and turn-taking. Take the opportunity and designate at least one night of the week as a game night with your family. There are plenty of good
character feels and understand their thoughts and emotions. Reading immerses children in every emotion, triumph, and adversity of their favorite characters. In addition to learning empathy, books provide examples of situations and social interactions that teach effective – and ineffective – ways to handle conflict. It allows children to experience a range of moods and emotions in an environment that allows for space and time to think about how they might react in a similar situation. Start a family book club and talk about characters, what they felt and how their actions affect other characters in the story. Talk about different social situations and encourage your child to share how they might react similarly or differently. You may be surprised to hear that television-when used correctly-can also be a great tool to help children understand emotions and behaviors. Explaining sarcasm, irony, and humor may be difficult for them to grasp, and understanding social cues take practice for kids. Using television is a fun way to observe social interactions that are often exaggerated to make a point. Actively watch a show with your child and point out social cues and appropriate behavior. Practice how they read and respond to other people and explore these interactions. Discuss empathy and talk about how they might feel if faced with a similar situation. Children that learn to associate certain words with emotions can use those words to express their own feelings. This transition from interpreting feelings to talking about feelings can help them communicate effectively and avoid acting out in frustration. Television can be a tool that helps children and adolescents better understand themselves and others. Continued on Page 8
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