Unstressed: A Guide to Dealing with Life's Stressors

Unstressed a guide to dealing with life’s stressors

written and illustrated by VIRGINIA CLINE

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Unstressed a guide to dealing with life’s stressors

Copyright © 2021 by Virginia Cline All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or used in any manner without the prior written permission of the copyright owner, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

Dedicated to my amazingly supportive family and friends

Contents CHAPTER ONE ............................................ 8 What is Stress?

CHAPTER TWO .......................................... 14 Stress Awareness

CHAPTER THREE ....................................... 22 Stress Prevention

CHAPTER FOUR ......................................... 36 Stress Relief References ..................................................... 52

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CHAPTER ONE

What is Stress?

Understanding what stress is, what physical sensations combine to create the feelings of stress, and the internal physiological and chemical changes involved is an important first step towards your battle of conquering stress. In this chapter, we’ll begin by explaining what stress really is to better understand why the human race has evolved to have this natural reaction to the real and perceived dangers in our environment. We will learn about the three stress hormones and their impact in the body’s natural fight-or-flight response. This chapter will also explore how stress can actually have negative health effects on our physical and emotional well-being if left unaddressed over an extended period of time, as well as the role of stress in the modern world.

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Stress in the Brain There are three stress hormones that work together and kick into high gear when your body is under stress; they are adrenaline, cortisol, and norepinephrine. Adrenaline, commonly known as the fight-or-flight hormone, is produced by your adrenal glands and is released immediately when encountering a crisis or perceived threat.

This hormone makes your heart beat faster, gives you a surge of energy, and improves your focus.

Compared to adrenaline, cortisol is released more slowly. This hormone is a steroid that is

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also produced by your adrenal glands that helps regulate your body fluids and blood pressure and regulates body functions that aren’t necessary to react to immediate danger, such as your reproductive drive, immune system, and digestion.

Norepinephrine (sometimes referred to as epinephrine) is released by the adrenal glands and the brain. It serves a similar function to adrenaline (kind of like a back-up system), helping you stay focused and alert, triggering blood flow to muscles and away from non-essential areas like the skin.

Fight or Flight Response When you are facing an immediate threat or danger such as a car that suddenly swerves in front of you, or when you suspect there is an intruder in the house, the fight-or-flight hormone adrenaline is immediately released and kicks your body’s defenses into high gear. We can all recall such instances in our life, no doubt. Interestingly enough, it can take anywhere from 20-60 minutes for your body to return to normal levels after whatever crisis you are facing subsides. Some physical indications that you are in fight-or-flight mode include: dilated pupils which allow your eyes to take in more light and better assess your surroundings; pale or flushed skin resulting from your body redirecting blood to your muscles, legs, arms, and brain to face the threat; rapid heart rate and breathing which increases energy and oxygen to the levels needed to fight or flee, and; trembling due to your muscles being tense and ready to spring into action. The response can also cause psychological effects. All of the changes are triggered by adrenaline’s fight-or-flight physiological impacts. When we perceive a threat, our sympathetic nervous system is automatically activated by the release of hormones, causing a chain reaction throughout our body. This response

is geared toward maximizing your body’s ability to deal with an immediate threat through battle or a speedy escape. This response is completely natural and is a result of evolution. It is what our ancestors needed to survive in the wild against their fellow man or beast. However, it is important to remember that while this response is natural and automatic, it is not always accurate and is often triggered when no real threat is present.

FIGHT

FLIGHT

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Long-Term Effects of Stress The long-term effects of chronic stress on your physical, emotional, and mental health are considerable and should not be overlooked.

The fight-or-flight impact of your body’s natural response to short-term, or acute, stress serves a useful purpose in preparing your body for an immediate threat, but when prolonged, that natural response can become damaging to your health. This is because the body was not designed to handle chronic stress. The increased heart rate and blood pressure over extended periods of time can lead to cardiovascular disease, and in the worst of cases, heart attack and stroke. Those butterflies in your stomach you feel right before a “threatening” moment like a public speaking event or an interview are natural. But if the body’s threat response is prolonged, in the worst of cases, one could develop various gastrointestinal problems such as gastritis, ulcerative colitis, Gastroesophageal reflux disease (GERD), and an irritable colon. Stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline which are useful when facing an immediate threat, become problematic over the long term. Persistently elevated levels of cortisol can lead to thyroid problems and the accumulation of excess abdominal fat, which puts you at a

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high-risk factor for a heart disease. Furthermore, while your liver will produce more blood sugar to fuel your body’s need to escape immediate danger, having elevated blood sugar levels over an extended period of time is obviously not ideal, and if not resolved, can lead to Type 2 diabetes.

Muscles will tense for a short-term threat, but if your muscles are continuously tense due to chronic stress, you are at risk for developing chronic pain and fatigue, tension headaches, and migraines.

Of course, the impact of prolonged stress is not limited to just the body; it can also wreaks havoc on your mental health and ability. In addition to exacerbating already existing conditions, if unchecked, chronic stress can also lead to depression, anxiety disorders, insomnia, and memory impairment.

migraine depression memory loss

gastritis

heart disease

diabetes fatigue

high blood pressure

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CHAPTER TWO

Stress Awareness Now that you have a better understanding of what stress is, the next step is to be aware of when you are under stress. Not all stress is health damaging. Some forms of stress can give us that extra boost of energy and alertness we need at the right moment to get us out of a dangerous situation, or amped up for an important event. In this chapter, you will learn to differentiate between good and bad stress and understand how to recognize when the stress you are feeling is starting to become damaging to your health. You’ll also learn about the four kinds of stress and the various stress triggers, and will learn how certain personality types are more likely to suffer from stress. If you identify with one of those types, the following chapter on stress prevention will be of utmost interest to you.

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Good vs. Bad Stress It seems counterintuitive to say “good stress,” but in reality, there is a real difference between good stress and bad stress. As we learned in the last chapter, stress was designed to protect us from danger and it can serve a useful purpose even in the safety of the modern age. Stress can be useful or harmful; it depends entirely on the situation, specific triggers, and even our reaction to the stressor. So let’s take a moment to explore what differentiates good stress from bad stress. Psychologists often refer to good stress as “eustress.” Since in its most basic form stress is any alteration of your homeostasis, the easiest way to think about the difference between good and bad stress is to consider how it makes you feel.

When you go on a roller-coaster ride or jump out of your seat during a scary scene of a suspenseful movie, the surge of hormones, accelerated heart rate, and quickened pulse you experience are in no way unpleasant. Quite the opposite, you feel exhilarated and have great enjoyment screaming with excitement, and reveling in the memory afterwards. This surge of hormones is not limited to surprising, in-the-moment triggers either.

The anticipation of a new child, the excitement before moving into your first house, and even

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the butterflies in your stomach before a big performance, inspires us to act. Usually short-lived, eustress improves our focus and performance by providing a boost in motivation and energy. Think of how boring our lives would be if there was never a change in our homeostasis. If every day was same old, same old without any stimulation or excitement whatsoever. We would quickly get bored, maybe even depressed, without some zest in our lives. Also, there would be no incentive to improve and challenge ourselves. Overcoming the challenges of a stressful situation gives us confidence and a sense of fulfillment. On the other hand, if we think about the kind of stress that makes us feel bad, no doubt several areas come to mind. The sense of dread going to a job you hate every day, the emotional toll and exhaustion you feel dealing with an unhappy marriage or toxic relationship, the worry of trying to make ends meet financially while bills pile up. These are all examples of bad stress, or distress, that are persistent and seemingly inescapable. Our bodies need good, healthy stress. While the feelings of acute stress may be overwhelming, when faced with a sudden danger (like a car swerving in front of you) the rush of hormones and the physical changes triggered will eventually return to a normal state. But chronic

stress, as the name implies, is persistent, never allowing our bodies to return to homeostasis. Since our bodies are not designed to deal with long-term stress, over the long haul, this can cause damage, both physical and emotional. For stress to be considered good, it must be balanced by recovery.

From Good to Bad So understanding that stress is the sensation your body feels as a result of the release of stress hormones like cortisol, which causes your heart rate to increase and your pulse to quicken, could there ever be a situation where good stress could become bad stress? Actually, yes. Just because you feel good doing something exhilarating, like skydiving, the body is being flooded with hormones regardless of whether you perceive it as good stress or bad stress. If you have large amounts of both forms of stress in your life, the end result is your body is in a constant state of heightened alert. And since the body is not designed to deal with never-ending stress, the cumulative effect could actually be healthdamaging. As with all things in life, moderation is key. Remain mindful of your body’s need to rest and be at peace — to return to homeostasis.

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The Kinds of Stress Another important aspect of stress awareness is being mindful of what category of stress you are experiencing. Broadly speaking, there are four types of stress that one can experience: anticipatory, situational, encounterrelated, and time-related. Let’s look at each of these in turn, and determine what you can do if you find yourself experiencing any of these types of stress. First, anticipatory. Someone experiencing anticipatory stress worries about an important upcoming event such as a group presentation, a big move, or a difficult exam. It’s a particularly damaging form of stress because it can be ever-present if you are the worrying type that tends to fixate on how a future event can go wrong. Situational stress kicks in after some terrible event, like accidentally deleting your only copy of your research paper, being laid off, choking during a class presentation, or inadvertently rear-ending another car. Encounter stress usually occurs when some kind of social event is approaching (such as an interview or meeting your in-laws for the first time). You may experience distress in the lead up to that meeting, imagining all the ways it might go wrong. Time stress surfaces when you feel you don’t have enough time in the day to accomplish

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all the tasks on your plate, especially when those tasks come with looming deadlines. Once you identify your stress type, it’s important to take a step back and develop strategies to manage the tension it causes you. This will help you feel more in control of your destiny and lead you to a path that lowers that form of stress in your life. For instance, when confronting anticipatory stress, you can try breaking down a seemingly large project into interim milestones and then focus on that shorterterm deadline, rather than continuously worrying about the overall final product. When confronted with situational stress, the best thing to do is step away, take deep, calming breaths, and then develop a plan to recover. You could even try to seek advice from someone more knowledgeable on the issue. When dealing with encounter stress, you can always prepare yourself mentally for the future encounter, but remember to remind yourself that life requires you to deal with people, conversations, and situations which may not always be pleasant; don’t take it personally. Just focus on what is in your control - namely, you! Finally, if you find yourself confronting time stress, look to delegate some of your tasks, and monitor yourself if you tend to procrastinate.

situational

encounter

anticipatory

time

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$

Identify Triggers As part of building stress awareness, it’s important to know what things in your environment are triggering feelings of stress, particularly bad stress. A good technique for tackling this task is to make a list. Start with external triggers. Typical external stress triggers include: a major life event such as death, divorce, debt, or illness; something in your environment, like your neighbor’s barking dog; unwelcome surprises, like family members who drop in unannounced and disrupt your

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day off; work-related events, including general overload, exhaustion, and crushing deadlines; or social challenges like a toxic relationship.

Repeat this process for internal triggers, which can be anything from irrational fears, unrealistic expectations, to an all-or-nothing mentality. With list in hand, develop a strategy to counter each. Be assertive, make decisions that protect your mental health, and reduce the number of stress triggers in your life. You’ll be thankful you did it.

Stress-Prone Personality You’ve likely heard of the term “Type A Personality.”

This descriptor, at times complimentary, is typically used to refer to someone who is an overachiever, always on the go, laser-focused on performance, achievement, deadlines, and the like. For extreme cases of Type A Personality, the pursuit of success and perfectionism can become all-consuming.

Their self-esteem becomes intrinsically tied to their performance, be it academic grades, athletic achievement, or career advancement.

If left unchecked, this mindset has the potential to lead many to an early grave. Type A is not the only personality type to experience higher levels of stress, however; some others include: drama queens, worrywarts, and perfectionists. Drama queens can be described as being addicted to the adrenaline of extreme emotion, often creating stress for themselves and others. Always considering the“what ifs,” worry warts create unnecessary stress by constantly imagining the worst possible outcome. At the cost of their physical and mental health, perfectionists maintain unreasonably high expectations. This chase for perfectionism inevitably leads this to disappointment and, consequently, more stress.

Chances are, if you struggle with chronic stress,

you probably recognize yourself in one of these categories. Or, maybe you know someone who is struggling with stress and would like to provide them with some tools that will help them overcome the negative effects of chronic stress. If so, being more informed on stress prevention, and stress mitigation will come in handy.

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CHAPTER THREE

Stress Prevention While stress may be an inevitable experience in our daily lives, there are many things we can do to prevent it from reaching unmanageable levels. As the saying goes, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure, and the same is true when it comes to dealing with stress. In this chapter, you will learn about steps you can take to avoid unnecessary stress in your day-to-day life. You’ll gain useful tips and knowledge about the importance of maintaining healthy life habits (such as a balanced diet, regular exercise regimen, and restorative sleep) that will preserve your physical and mental well-being. You’ll learn how to take control and the importance of carving out “you” time. Committing to these preventive measures will be your first step toward a happier, more resilient you!

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Make Time for Yourself It’s quite easy to get pulled into the hustle and bustle of everyday life. While it is normal for responsibilities to pile on or unplanned incidents to arise, if you’re not careful, you can easily find yourself feeling overwhelmed as you mentally go down your to-do list — constantly worrying about deadlines, rushing, and stressing. In this scenario, the idea of taking time for yourself might seem counterintuitive, right? How can you carve out time for yourself when you are already so overwhelmed with all the things already demanding your time

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and attention? Well, in actuality, making “me time” a priority in your life not only keeps you centered and calm but also makes it so you are better able to face daily challenges. Making time for yourself does not mean you have to completely disregard all responsibilities and commitments.

You may wish to start small at first. You can commit to doing something relaxing for five minutes in the beginning and end each day. For example, in the morning, you could incorporate into your regular routine five minutes of stretching and

deep, restorative breathing. At the end of the day, you could pick up a book you’ve been itching to read. The most important thing to remember when incorporating this practice into your lifestyle is consistency. If you are only giving yourself a five-minute break every other week, it will not do much to ease all the stress you have accumulated in-between. To fully reap the benefits, regularly carve out some time for yourself and learn to relax.

Consider your personal interests. What makes you happy? What are your hobbies? What is something that you have always wanted to do, but never seem to have time for? Schedule time to do the things that are important to you and bring you joy. Dedicating effort and time to your profession and responsibilities is important, but the same consideration should be given to your personal life as well. If you don’t make that balance a priority and never focus on taking care of yourself, life will have a way of piling more and more responsibility onto your shoulders until your life is completely out of control. Make yourself a priority in your own life. As mentioned in previous chapters, taking on too much of anything can seriously damage your emotional and physical well-being. Therefore, don’t feel guilty about prioritizing yourself. We all deserve a break. Schedule “me” time into your

weekly schedule just as you would work or school.

Don’t allow others to encroach on that time. Let them know you are unavailable during that time so they don’t try to schedule you for this or that errand. It is important that you enjoy whatever it is that you have chosen for your “me” time — a weekly manicure, long bath, or something as simple as a trip to your local bookstore or antique shop. Make yourself a priority!

Healthy Diet When under stress, the body responds by producing the hormones cortisol, insulin, and ghrelin which increase cravings for unhealthy comfort foods such as sugary treats and junk food. We’ve all been there, up against a deadline, overwhelmed by competing priorities, and desperately wanting to hit the vending machine or the nearest drive-thru for a quick fix. However, while this may be tempting, it is vital that you don’t give in to these temptations. Far from lowering stress, junk food ultimately wreaks havoc with your hormones and mood. Sure, these indulgences might feel like “just what the doctor ordered” — a much-needed boost to get you through a tough moment. However, such unhealthy foods

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only trigger a counterproductive, downward spiral of blood sugar spikes, increased stress, and poorer sleep quality. To make matters worse, they further produce hormones that feed this vicious cycle, leading to decreased metabolism, weight gain, and more cravings. Conversely, by maintaining healthy eating habits, you counteract these hormonal disruptions and the cravings they produce. Instead of reaching for those tempting treats, try healthy foods in moments of stress. Ideal stress-moderating options include: chamomile tea, dark chocolate (in small quantities), complex carbs, fatty fish, nuts, vitamin C-rich fruits, leafy greens, and of course, plenty of water. These nutritiously powerful foods help maintain consistent bloodsugar levels to prevent sugar spikes and crashes; counteract stress hormones that induce cravings, leaving you feeling satiated and balanced; and help to maintain higher and more sustained energy. Additionally, a protein-rich diet (including foods such as turkey, chicken, beef, eggs, milk, and legumes) is a great option as it is proven to boost your mood by releasing dopamine, a chemical in the brain that produces positive feelings. All of these healthy alternatives have the additional benefit of helping with weight management — which can be a major stressor in and of itself.

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Drop the Addictions We all have our vices. Some, however, can actually exacerbate anxiety and stress. Common addictive vices include alcohol, caffeine, and nicotineladen tobacco products. While an occasional glass of red wine (rich in antioxidants) is fine, excessive reliance on alcohol is not a healthful strategy for battling stress. Excessive drinking can have long-term health impacts, including impaired memory, heart disease, and depression.

Meanwhile, caffeine is a mixed bag. While it helps perk you up in the morning, it also triggers the release of cortisol, the stress hormone discussed earlier. When used excessively, caffeine results in constant spikes and drops in mental alertness, greatly stressing the body. Nicotine, like caffeine, is a stimulant and incredibly addictive. It releases the hormone, dopamine, which trains the body to repeat the behavior of taking the drug. Usually delivered by health-damaging products such as cigarettes, the long-term physical damage caused by smoking has been well documented. However, when it comes to controlling anxiety and managing stress, smoking actually only offers temporary relief; soon, smokers feel withdrawal symptoms, triggering anxiety and physical discomfort. This constant cycle of fleeting relief followed by the

stress of withdrawal is counterproductive to stress management. Additionally, while the dopamine boost brings immediate positive reinforcement, over time, it damages the brain’s ability to produce its own dopamine naturally, leading to an increased usage of nicotine to boost dwindling dopamine levels. Therefore, it is important to limit your consumption of these vices. Better yet, reach for more healthy options, such as water and herbal teas. With these alternatives, you can avoid cortisol spikes and stay better hydrated.

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Prioritize Rest No doubt you can remember several times when you were under pressure at school or work and would come home, exhausted. You experience a fitful sleep, tossing and turning throughout the night. You wake up the next morning feeling tired, cranky, and go about your day in a fog. Or worse yet, facing a looming deadline, you pull an all-nighter, completely disrupting your sleep cycle for days. Sleep deprivation leaves you more susceptible to stress. When you are under stress, your body has elevated levels of cortisol, which raises your heart rate and blood pressure, keeping you wide awake, and blocking your body’s ability to release melatonin, a hormone which prepares your body for a good night’s rest. This can become a vicious downward spiral of ever-increasing fatigue, which then becomes another source of stress. So, how can you combat the stress-sleep deprivation challenge? Prioritize sleep, budgeting it into your daily schedule as you would any other important task. Create an atmosphere that is conducive to sleep. This includes turning off electronics and engaging in quiet activities. If you have a television or exercise equipment in your room, remove them; you want to psychologically associate your bedroom with calm and quiet. You

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could take a warm bath, do some light stretching, or read a book. You can also try taking melatonin supplements as a sleep aid. Not only does this supplement help you fall asleep faster, studies show that it can improve sleep quality as well.

There are many strategies you can try to improve your sleep quality. A good night’s sleep will do wonders for your mood, concentration, and overall ability to handle life’s challenges, so prioritize sleep as a sound stress prevention measure.

Move Your Body Another way to improve the quality of your sleep and reduce stress at the same time is to incorporate regular physical activity into your daily life. Engage in at least 150 minutes of moderate-intensity aerobic exercise a week, broken down into 30-minute sessions, five days a week, for maximum benefit. It is also highly recommended to include strength training into your exercise regimen at least twice a week. So how does exercise help with stress? For one, when you are exercising, you tend to focus more on the physical activity you are engaged in, how your body is performing, and your surroundings. Exercise gets you “out

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of your own head” and away from the worries and anxieties that lead to your stressed state. The rhythmic nature of your movements can put you in a relaxing, almost meditative trance, leaving you feeling calm, clear, and mentally alert. Additionally, the feeling of accomplishment at the end of a good workout session can leave you feeling empowered and self confident. You have probably heard about “runner’s high.” This euphoric feeling comes from the release of endorphins which are neurochemicals released by your brain to relieve stress and pain. As you exercise, these “feel-good” hormones are released into your bloodstream, resulting in feelings of exhilaration, euphoria, relaxation, and overall well-being. In addition to these benefits, exercise improves blood flow and enhances your body’s ability to use oxygen efficiently, both of which have a direct positive impact on your brain’s functioning. The physical exertion of exercise relieves tension and boosts your mood. With all these positive benefits, you could easily designate physical activity as part of your “me” time. When choosing an exercise regimen, pick something you enjoy to improve your chances of being consistent. Perhaps you could start out with something easy like a brisk walk five days a week. Pack a pair of well-fitted

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(but comfortable) shoes and stop at a local park on your way back from work. Try running, swimming, biking — whatever you enjoy. Before you know it, your stress will fade away!

Time Management As you begin to devote more time in your schedule for healthy meal preparation, exercise, and proper rest, developing stronger time management habits will be important for keeping you on track and preventing unhealthy stress. By exercising effective time management, you avoid feeling overwhelmed as work and life demands pile up. There are many resources and strategies available to assist in time management, such as planners (available at most office supply stores) or online task management trackers. It is important that you keep a list of tasks and deadlines, highlighting those that are of the highest priority so you focus on them first. Assess each day to ensure you have sufficient time to complete your work by the prescribed deadline.

If not, consider if you are able to delegate any tasks to other co-workers or those lower on the totem pole. If after exhausting all options you determine the time allotted is insufficient, notify your leadership chain and seek an extension. If you

notice a pattern of continuous over-tasking, have a candid conversation with your leadership about the problem and discuss options for aligning some tasks to other work units, or requesting additional manpower to match the workload. Be sure that work is being evenly distributed amongst your co-workers. Do not allow a situation to develop where an inconsiderate employee tries to pass their work off to you. Most importantly, do not fall

into the habit of working long hours to make up the difference between workload and manpower.

Practicing time management is not reserved only for your professional life, however. Make sure to organize your personal priorities alongside your work deadlines. Remember, you owe it to yourself (and your health) to protect your “you” time, which includes time to rest, exercise, and participate in hobbies you can enjoy doing after work.

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Learn to Say “No” Now that you have started exercising good time management, learning when and how to say no is the next step. If you’re the type of person who has a tendency to take on too much responsibility, this can be particularly difficult. Here are a few things to consider. If your plate is full, saying no will allow you to devote the proper attention to your existing commitments. Plus, when you try to do everything, you may be denying someone else an opportunity. Sometimes, people get in the habit of going to the same person for certain tasks, such as organizing an office farewell party or going on a coffee run. Just because you’re good at something or have done it consistently in the past, doesn’t mean you are obligated to continue doing it forever. Consider your current commitments and be committed to preserving your “you” time. If the request doesn’t align with what is important to you, simply give a polite refusal and say you do not have the time. Make sure that you are firm and clear.

You may have to repeat the refusal for particularly pushy people. Even if the request is related to a worthy cause, don’t feel guilty about refusing to take it on personally. Simply compliment the cause and explain your situation. Remember, you should never feel ashamed for taking time for yourself.

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Build a Support System One of the best ways to manage stress is to maintain a strong and supportive social network. A social network may consist of your family, friends, co-workers, neighbors — essentially people with whom you have a relationship and maintain regular, close social contact. Human are social animals who require meaningful connections to maintain a positive outlook and have purpose and meaning in their lives. Someone who is isolated and who feels disconnected from their family, lacks friends, and has no real meaningful relationship will have

a much harder time dealing with stress and is at higher risk for suffering from anxiety, depression, and other mental and emotional problems. With no outlet to share negative feelings or experiences, an isolated person will tend to dwell on and magnify the problems in their life. Someone who has developed and nurtured meaningful relationships, on the other hand, can always reach out and call a friend or family member; they always have someone from whom to seek comfort and advice.

Just knowing there are people in your life you can

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turn to in times of need makes all the difference.

Maintaining a strong friend circle also benefits our mental and physical health. In addition to helping us deal with stress, cultivating supportive friendships promotes brain health, encourages us to make better lifestyle choices,and can even help us recover faster from diseases and illness.

Friends also make us laugh. While this may seem insignificant — laughter is actually an incredible stress reliever. Laughter stimulates circulation of oxygen into our body, decreases stress hormone levels, releases endorphins (the “feel-good” hormone), and can even aid in muscle relaxation.

In terms of mental health, friendships can also boost our self-esteem and self-worth. Bonding with others provides us with a sense of calm and security because we know someone is there for us. Additionally, the “give-and-take” of a healthy relationship naturally builds self-confidence, repelling feelings of doubt, self-hatred, and isolation. For these reasons, it is important to take the time to connect. Remember, the best way to make a friend is to be a good friend. Be there for others, and, in turn, they will be there for you when you most need them. Just be careful to nurture relationships with positive people. The last thing you need when trying to manage stress

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is to have toxic people in your social circle. Some signs that you are in a toxic friendship include: you feel exhausted and frustrated in their presence; they bombard you with negativity and constantly put you down; you neglect your own emotional needs because the focus is always on them. If you recognize any of these signs in your own friendship, parting ways may be the healthiest thing for you to do.

Practice Positivity When you are stressed out, having someone tell you to practice positivity might come off sounding a bit trite. But you will be surprised at how effective positive thinking can be in the fight against stress.

Here are some simple techniques you can try out.

Even if you do only a couple of them consistently, you will begin to notice the difference in your mental outlook. First is affirmations. An affirmation is a short, positive statement that you can repeat throughout the day to lift yourself up. It can be something simple like “I’m a good person” or “I am enough.” Another technique is to focus on the good things. We all have something in our life that puts a smile on our face. Maybe it’s a happy memory or an activity we enjoy — tap into

that. Change your computer screensaver to a family photo or have a coffee mug of something you enjoy. You will get that happy trigger each time you look at it. Try practicing generosity. It’s easy to focus inward on our own sorrows, but nothing breaks down those walls quicker than doing something nice for another person. You could volunteer at a homeless shelter or visit an elderly person in a nursing home. Any kind gesture will benefit you just as much as the recipient. Another trap involves

focusing on past traumas or on a future event that stresses you out. Whenever you notice yourself doing this, pull your focus back to the present because the present is something you can control.

Lastly, surround yourself with positive people.

As mentioned prior, it is nearly impossible to practice positivity if you have a toxic person in your life constantly bombarding you with negativity.

Choose your friends carefully and distance yourself from those who consistently put you down.

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CHAPTER FOUR

Stress Relief So far we have learned what stress is, how to differentiate between good and bad stress, identify our individual health triggers, and take preventative steps to remove, or at the very least, diminish the stress in our life. With this knowledge in hand, it’s time to focus on in-the-moment techniques that help reduce those sources of stress we cannot avoid.

In this chapter, you will learn and practice simple strategies and exercises that will help you feel more relaxed and in control. Each is relatively simple to pick up and quick, so there are no excuses! Try each and see which one works for you. And remember, as always, consistency is key. With regular practice, you’ll become more comfortable using these techniques and will derive maximum benefit as a stress-resilient individual.

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Triangle Pose The Triangle Pose (also known as Trikonasana) is a basic standing pose used in many styles of yoga. This pose allows for a full-body stretch that can help relieve not only stress but physical discomfort as well. The pose also can improve one’s overall balance (both physical and mental) and promote greater flexibility in the joints of the hips.

Benefits Eases tension in the neck and back Strengthens and stretches muscles in the legs, knees, arms, and ankles

Tips If you are not flexible enough to reach your ankle, use a yoga block

2 min

Stretch

Directions 1. Stand on an even surface with your feet slightly more than a shoulder-width apart. Rotate your right foot outwards 90 degrees.

2. Inhale deeply as you extend out both your arms. Lift them so they are parallel with the ground.

3. Without leaning forward, bend from the hip to tilt your upper body over your right leg.

4. Exhale slowly as you extend your right hand to the ground and touch your ankle. Your left arm should reach straight up to the ceiling.

5. Tilt your head up to focus your gaze up towards your left hand.

6. Hold this pose for 30 seconds, return to the starting point and then repeat on the left side.

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focus gaze on raised palm

full extend arm

lengthen spine

straighten leg

rotate 90°

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Eagle Pose Eagle Pose, or Garudasana, is a standing balance pose for relieving stress and improving overall stability in the body. This pose is a great stress management tool as it requires your to concentrate on a single point rather than on external stressors. It also alleviates tension in the head, neck, and shoulders — common areas where stress tends to build up.

Benefits Promotes feeling of calm by quieting a busy mind Improves balance and flexibility

Tips If struggling to hook your foot over your leg, rest your toes on the floor gently to use as a kickstand.

2 min

Balance

Directions 1. Stand with your hands at your side, toes facing forward, and spine extended.

2. Bend your knees and place your right leg over your left leg. Squeeze your thighs together as you hook your right foot behind your left calf.

3. Bring both arms to the front of your body. Wrap the right elbow under the left — keep wrapping until the back of the palms are touching.

4. Bend your elbows so that your upper arms are parallel to the floor and forearms are raised up to the ceiling.

5. With your shoulders and hips squared to the front, focus on your fingertips as you breath slowly.

6. Hold this pose for 30 seconds before returning to a standing position. Repeat again on the other side.

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gaze forward

raise elbows

straighten back bend knees

wrap foot around calf

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Visualization Also referred to as guided imagery, visualization is a stress management tool that allows you to escape to your happy place with your mind. This exercise utilizes your senses and brain’s imagination to create calming, peaceful imagery to guide attention away from stress and tension and enter into an immersive state of relaxation.

Benefits Decreases frequency of headaches Reduces feelings of anxiety, pain, fatigue, and depression

Tips Practice this exercise in an area that has little to no distractions

10 min

Visualize

Directions 1. Sit in a comfortable position in a quiet area. Close your eyes and inhale slowly through your nose.

2. Think of a place or scenario that is calming to you.

3. Use your senses to recreate the image of the scene as accurately as possible. Recall the smells, sounds, tastes, colors, and textures.

4. Allow yourself to explore the setting. It’s okay to drift or zone out during the exercise, just refocus your attention back to the sensations of the place.

5. After 10 minutes, slowly exhale and open your eyes.

Allow yourself to adjust to your current environment.

Take this time to reflect on the exercise and which sense was utilized the most.

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PMR Progressive Muscle Relaxation, or PMR, is a whole body, deep relaxation exercise which systematically tenses and relaxes different muscles in the body. When stressed, our muscles tense, which leads to stiffness in the neck and back. This technique combats this by promoting awareness of these muscles so you may isolate and control tension throughout your body.

Benefits Improves sleep quality Combats negative emotions, thoughts, and beliefs

Tips Tap points on both sides of your body as you repeat the process

15 min

Relax

Directions 1. Before you begin, put on loose clothing and remove shoes. Then, assume a comfortable position.

2. Starting with your right foot, slowly tense the muscles, squeezing as tightly as possible (without pain or cramping) for 10 seconds.

3. Exhale and relax the tensed muscles completely.

Concentrate on the tension flowing away until your foot feels limp and loose.

4. Stay in a relaxed state for a moment while taking a few slow, deep breaths. Move to the next muscle group.

5. Progress slowly up your body, contracting and relaxing, with breathing pauses in between. Continue this process until you reach the top of your head.

6. After completing the sequence, count backwards from 5 to return your focus back to the present.

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throat

face

chest arms + hands stomach

hips

thighs calves

feet

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Body Scan Similar to PMR, a body scan is a targeted meditation exercise that focuses on identifying and releasing tension in the body. This technique involves mindfully scanning yourself, from head to toe, to focus your attention back on your physical body. This allows you to pinpoint and ultimately release uncomfortable physical sensations of pain or tension.

Benefits Promotes body awareness Improves mindfulness, focus, pain tolerance, and quality of sleep

Tips If running low on time, do an abbreviated version, only noting places holding tension or pain

20 min

Meditate

Directions 1. Sit on the floor or in a comfortable chair to perform this exercise. Close your eyes — focus on your breathing and the weight of your body.

2. Take three deep belly breaths. Then start with your feet, mentally noting any tension, heaviness, aching, or pain. Concentrate on the sensation, then “breathe through it,” mentally visualizing you are causing the discomfort to evaporate.

3. Continue downward, focusing on each body part to identify any tension or pain. Gently breathe through it.

4. Repeat until you reach the tip of your toes. Slowly inhale as you open your eyes. Take a moment to readjust to your surroundings before returning to your normal gaze.

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sit upright close eyes

breathe deeply

relax muscles

feel the weight of your body

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Belly Breathing Breathing exercises are a great way to relax you are under considerable stress. Belly breathing is one of the easiest of these exercises to perform. When you breathe correctly, it has a calming effect on your entire body, leaving you feeling as relaxed as when you first wake up in the morning or are about to fall asleep.

Benefits Counteracts stress-induced rapid breathing and quickened heart rate Increases energy and stamina

Tips If you find this exercise too difficult sitting up, try it from a prone position

5 min

Easy

Directions 1. Sit in a comfortable position with your back straight.

Place your dominant hand on your chest and the other hand on your stomach.

2. Take in a deep and slow breath through your nose.

You should feel your hand on your stomach rise as it fills up with air.

3. Hold that breath for 3-5 seconds.

4. Contract your stomach muscles and breathe out through pursed lips until all of the air is expelled from your abdomen.

5. After exhaling, take 3-4 normal breaths.

6. Do 3-10 slow repetitions of this exercise. Take note of your improved mental state after you finish.

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Tapping Also referred to as emotional freedom technique (EFT), tapping is an alternate psychotherapy treatment for reducing stress and physical pain. Inspired by Chinese medicine, this technique involves lightly tapping 9 acupressure points while focusing on a certain stressor in order to release pent-up emotions and balance energy in the body.

Benefits Improves sleep quality Combats negative emotions, thoughts, and beliefs

Tips Tap points on both sides of your body as you repeat the process

10 min

Calming

Directions 1. Close your eyes and identify a stressor you would like to focus on. Rate the intensity of your anxiety on a scale of 0 to 10.

2. Compose a short phrase to repeat throughout the exercise, such as “Even though I have (concern), I believe in myself.”

3. Begin tapping the karate chop point while repeating the phrase.

4. Move on to the following body points: TOH, EB, SE, UE, UN, CH, CB, and UA. Use 2 or more fingertips when tapping. Tap each point a minimum of 5 times.

5. At the end of the sequence, rank your anxiety level again from 0-10. Compare your results to your initial rating, repeating the exercise until the intensity reaches 0 or an equilibrium.

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top of head (TH) eyebrow (EB) side of eye (SE) under eye (UE)

chin (CH)

under nose (UN)

collarbone (CB)

under arm (UA)

karate chop (KC)

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About the Author Virginia Cline is a graduating Senior at George Mason University majoring in Art and Visual Technology with a concentration in Graphic Design and minor in Web Design. Based in Stafford, Virginia, she has always been attracted to the arts, exploring various mediums to include drawing, photography, digital media, and motion design. She strives each day to perfect her creative thinking and skills to develop a better viewer experience with a focus on design.

Ease stress with techniques that get you out of your head Let’s be honest —we all deal with stress, sometimes acutely so. And while there is no escaping it, that doesn’t mean we can’t deal with it. With a little effort, we can educate ourselves on what stress is and identify our individual life stressors. Then, we can set about eliminating them and fortifying ourselves and learn how to manage those stressors that cannot be avoided.

UNCOVER the biological underpinning of stress and its long-term effects on the body and mind

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