Remedies

We have discussed what anxiety is, how it functions, and how it manifests within you. Now onto the fun part, managing your anxiety. This is the action phase of your journey. There are many different methods to help control the disorder, whether that is through medication or simply a new mindset. This is where your research and self-analyzation come into play. I highly encourage following the remedies in the order they are listed. Start off slow, focus on self-care and mindfulness. Then if necessary, move onto therapy and then to medication. I just want you to be sure that your treatment is the right choice for you. Working your way through the remedies starting with the least intense to the most will help you learn what you need to put your anxiety at ease. It’s all about what feels good for you. Be intentional, listen to your body, and advocate for your own needs.

Self-care

A fundamental habit to form when you have anxiety is proper self-care. I know this seems obvious, but self-care tends to be the first thing thrown out the window when anxiety takes the wheel. No matter which way you choose to treat your anxiety, self-care should always come first. That is why I highly prioritize routine. A routine helps me feel in control of my life by letting me accomplish my self-care practices while also tending to all my other responsibilities.

By the way, when I say self-care, I mean extremely basic practices. No, not bath bomb and face mask self-care - actual, genuine care for yourself. Such as getting enough sleep and eating nutritious meals. I know I’m not the only one guilty of losing sleep to finish homework or picking up fast food to save time on cooking. These seem like great alternatives to ease stress in the moment, but in the end, they hurt you more than they help you. I have grown to love and crave healthy foods because they make me feel good. Not to mention that according to Dr. Fionnula McHale, 90% of your serotonin lives in your stomach, meaning that what you eat can make a big difference in your mood (qtd. in Foran 200). I also may be mocked for my early bedtimes, but the thing is, I know my body and I know what feels good for me. When I am well rested and nourished, I am in a good mood, which greatly diminishes my anxiety and stress. You can’t leave a plant in a closet, never water it, and expect it to flourish. Just like that mistreated plant, you need to take care of yourself in order to grow. Making decisions like sleeping enough, eating nourishing foods, and taking the time to prioritize basic care is key. Without these foundations, it is difficult to progress in your anxiety journey.

There are many other self-care habits that you can bring into your life to help control your anxiety beyond these core practices. One of my least favorites would be *dramatic pause* exercise. Going on a run is probably at the bottom of the list of things I want to do. The good news is, McHale, claims that running and other high-intensity exercises are not always the best for managing anxiety. Consistent low-stress exercises, such as yoga, are much better for managing stress as they help bring your overall levels of cortisol (stress hormone) down (qtd. in Foran 203-204). I have to admit for someone who hates exercise, I love yoga because it’s a mixture of both exercise and meditation. Each yoga session is like a reset to my body and mind, making it one of my favorite morning rituals.

Another practice that can be extremely rewarding for those who have anxiety would be mindfulness. I have mentioned the idea of mindfulness throughout this book and it’s certainly a modern buzzword. But, what the hell does it even mean? You hear the word a lot when researching methods for controlling anxiety, but you hear less about the core idea of the concept. According to Gina Biegel, MA, LMFT, “mindfulness is noticing your thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations in the present moment without harmful judgment” (2). Mindfulness exercises are great to help put your mind at ease and are often recommended to help ground someone experiencing a panic attack. The biggest and probably most well-known mindfulness practice would be meditation. I love meditation, it is the practice I go to the most to help with my anxiety. Meditation has this magical power of letting your brain rest, which for someone with anxiety never seems to happen. Now, I’m no expert on the practice, so I usually enjoy doing guided meditations. There are many free resources out there on YouTube, but another one I recommend is the Headspace app. There are also a multitude of mindfulness exercises you can do on your own.

“Anxiety happens when you think you have to figure out everything all at once. Breathe. You’re strong. You got this. Take it day by day.”

—Karen Salmansohn

Grounding Techniques

Grounding techniques are one of the many approaches people can introduce into their lives to eliminate unwanted worry and stress. These tools are great because you can do them independently if you are experiencing distracting or persistent anxiety. They are also good to practice consistently to help tame your anxiety long-term (Foran 147-148). The following is a list of techniques I use to ground myself. This is a little more personal to what I know works for me, so try and make a list for yourself to refer to when you find something that works for you. • Listen to music • Go outside • Exercise • Journal • Talk to a friend

Anxiety Exercises

Along with grounding techniques are many exercises specifically meant for controlling haywire anxiety. The following are the two that I turn to the most to help me get back on track, however, there are many that you can find online as well. These exercises are my own personal practices but have been inspired by a combination of sources I have consistently gone to for guidance. Including; Yoga with Adriene on YouTube, the Headspace app, and the books Owning It by Caroline Foran, and Be Mindful & Stress Less by Gina Biegel. Similar to my grounding techniques, these exercises are useful in keeping your overall levels of stress regulated, even if you aren’t experiencing overwhelming anxiety in the moment.

Breathing Exercise

To get started, place yourself in a comfortable seat and relax your body. I like to close my eyes when I do this, but you can also keep them open. I want you to imagine a square. Each side of the square will represent the time you give to your breath. Slowly take a deep belly breath in through your nose and start to imagine a line climbing up the side of the square for four seconds. Hold at the top of the breath and imagine the line continuing across the top of the square for another four seconds. Slowly exhale through your mouth for four, still imagining that line as it drops down the other side. Then, hold for four again at the bottom of that breath as the line crosses back to its starting point. Imagine, you are breathing the stress out of your body. Even verbally making a noise as you exhale can bring a calming effect. You can be forceful about it, but try not to be tense. On each exhale soften your body further and allow yourself to sink into the earth. Continue this cycle until you start to feel yourself settle down.

Mindfulness Exercise

Wherever you are, stop what you are doing and take a moment to begin recognizing your environment. Gradually wipe away lingering thoughts and begin to sense what is around you, notice how you really feel. Focus on each five of your senses. Pick out as many objects as you can for each one. For example, for sight, I notice my computer, my desk, my water bottle…and so on. Give your full attention to this moment here and now. Continue to wipe away any intrusive thoughts that pop into your mind. Proceed on to what you can feel, hear, smell, and taste. Continue the practice until you feel calm.

Therapy

It wasn’t until college that I started to seriously explore anxiety treatments. This would be my first time attempting a treatment method that didn’t involve medication. With a little research under my belt and a little more understanding of my anxiety, I decided to go to therapy. My experience with therapy can be described as “lackluster.” That doesn’t mean it was bad, it had more to do with the fact that traditional talk therapy is just not my jam. As someone who struggles greatly with expressing my emotions it gets to a point where, sometimes, I am not even aware of what I am feeling. Every time I would go into therapy, my therapist would start the session by asking how I’ve been. But, I could never think of a single thing to discuss with her. I could have been robbed, lost my dog, or fallen down the stairs the night before and my mind would still be blank. 24/7 there is a tornado of thoughts spinning through my head. Until someone asks me how I’m feeling. Then, all of sudden, my brain goes radio silent. It’s not surprising that I didn’t get much from my experiences with this type of therapy.

However, I have great interest in trying more integrative therapies such as art therapy or Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT), both of which employ more activity-based approaches and objective work that would help me explore my mind in a different way, rather than just talking. According to Arlin Cuncic, MA, CBT is a very popular choice in therapy for anxiety because it has proved to be effective in more than just one type of anxiety. Through CBT you work on analyzing your thought patterns and focus on what is causing your anxiety. You then learn techniques to combat anxious thoughts and tendencies

from interfering with your life (Cuncic, “Therapy for Anxiety”). Art therapy, while not studied as much, is another helpful approach to anxiety. The great thing about this type of therapy is that it does not rely on vocal communication. Instead, it focuses directly on art to help you work through your difficulties (Cuncic, “Therapy for Anxiety”). If you find your grounding techniques and other anxiety management practices to be particularly hands-on or introspective, these therapies might be good options for you as well.

Therapy is a tool that has been proven to be highly effective in helping people manage their anxiety (Cuncic “Therapy for Anxiety”). Finding the right therapy can be tricky because you don’t know what works for you until you try it out. I only discussed three, but there are many different types of therapy. A simple Google search and you will be presented with any type of therapy you could possibly think of. Along with the different types, who you have as your therapist is important too – they also have different personalities. Another issue I found through my experience, is that my therapist never seemed to push me deeper, making a lot of our sessions surface-level. As someone who struggles to explore the depths of my mind, I now know that I need a therapist that will bring this out in me. That’s not to say she was bad, I am positive that there are plenty of people that would have gotten a lot out of her soft, kind nature. But, it just goes to show that therapy is trial-and-error. There is no harm in continuing to test out the waters until you find that perfect fit. I wouldn’t give up on therapy if your first time around wasn’t perfect. There is a wide variety and you really have only gotten a small taste of what’s out there.

Medication

I started receiving treatment for my anxiety around the age of 15. My alleged childhood shyness turned quickly into what was obviously anxiety. I don’t remember the specific timeline of talking to doctors about my issue, but I do remember my story not being taken seriously. As an awkward teenager suffering from anxiety, this probably was the worst way a doctor could have reacted to my plea for help. Subconsciously, I absorbed this reaction into my own way of thinking about the problem. If my doctor doesn’t think it’s a big deal, then I shouldn’t think it’s a big deal. Even though I was suffering, I did my best to ignore the problem. I would have panic attacks sitting in class for literally no reason, but no need to worry, right? After visiting my doctor again, and emphasizing the issues I was having, she decided to hand me a sheet of paper bearing 10 questions on it. They were straightforward, asking me, “how often would you say you feel nervous in a day?” or “how often do you worry that something bad is going to happen?” You know basic anxiety questions. I finished and handed the test back to her. “Yup, you have anxiety,” she responded. I thought to myself, “yeah bitch, that’s what I’ve been trying to tell you.” Of course, I didn’t dare say that out loud. I was talking to a “respected” healthcare professional. Surprised, I questioned if this was really the way that doctors are diagnosing people with mental disorders. BuzzFeed quizzes ask more questions than that. I was disappointed, to say the least.

She decided to prescribe me an antidepressant to control my anxiety. I was happy to finally receive something that could help me. After some time taking the medication, I began to realize it was not for me. The anxiety disappeared, don’t get me wrong, but

so did every other emotion. I felt like a robot. My grades started dropping and all I wanted was to be alone. Feeling like an empty shell, I didn’t care about anything. So, what did I do? Probably the worst decision someone on medication for their mental health could do. I stopped cold turkey. DO NOT DO THIS. Seriously, doing that is extremely dangerous. At the time, I did not know this because I was so misinformed about everything surrounding my anxiety. This is me telling you if you are on an antidepressant or another medication for mental health do not abruptly stop. There are methods you can follow to safely ease off of the medication. You should also always discuss weaning off your medication with your doctor before making any sort of executive decision. Stopping cold turkey can be extremely damaging to your mental health and can cause people to feel suicidal.

Getting back to my story, I made a poor decision in stopping my medication, but I didn’t know what else to do. Seeing myself from the outside quickly spiraling into a depressive state, I saw it as my only way out. Going back to the doctor again, my situation was met with more negativity. I explained to my doctor my reasoning for stopping the medication but was given a confused response. She acted as if my reasoning wasn’t valid and then continued to talk badly about me to the nurse, right in front of me. Feeling stupid for recognizing how my body felt, the train wreck that was this interaction influenced me to retreat back into my little cave of anxiety ignorance.

I should note that not all doctors are like this. There most definitely are fantastic doctors out there who are super understanding and helpful. I’m not saying to stop going to the doctor. After all, they are the ones who went to school for a million years to be able to give you the help you need. Just please note that there are doctors like this out there. If you are ever feeling disrespected or invalidated, it is important to advocate for yourself and find a new doctor. In the case of anxiety, going straight to a psychologist can be life-changing.

I know that was a long and mostly negative story about anxiety medication. However, I don’t want my ordeal to put it in a bad light. Just because I had a bad experience does not mean you will. Especially, if you are at a point where you have tried everything else, and nothing seems to be working. If it is of interest to you, there is no harm in talking about the possibility of starting with a psychiatrist. I would, however, recommend that if you choose to take medication, that you also stay in consistent contact with your therapist, doctor, or psychiatrist to ensure you are supported throughout your treatment.

“Some days, doing ‘the best we can’ may still fall short of what we would like to be able to do,

but life isn’t perfect—on any front—and doing what we can with what we have is the most we

should expect of ourselves or anyone else.”

—Fred Rogers