Fearful Silence by School of Art, George Mason University

Fearful S ilence eem

Nad b hi Rag

FEARFUL SILENCE by Raghib Nadeem

FEARFUL SILENCE Copyright © Text and design 2020 by Raghib Nadeem Silent Hill ™ is a trademark of Konami Computer Entertainment Tokyo, Inc. ©1999 Konami Computer Entertainment Tokyo All Rights Reserved All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission from the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews. For information, contact Raghib Nadeem raghib.nadeem.1995@gmail.com

The fear of blood tends to create fear for the flesh. (Silent Hill, 1999)

es What li beyond 8 Darknesss De scends: Silent Hill

27 Fear and Emot ional Al chemy: Silent H ill 2

Horror: 44 Gendered 3 Silent Hill

Place the headphones hang ing on the IV drip stand over your ears to block out as much noise as possible. Press play on the cassette player.

alone. Now, you are

Something called to me.

that feeling A feeling. A something is missing and could only be found here. If I’m being completely honest with myself, a part of me isn’t even sure why I chose to follow that impulse. I just had to. But this isn’t how I imagined this town would look. There’s no one here, not on the streets and, from what I can tell, not in the buildings either. I’ve only just arrived, but I’ve been roaming the streets and see no one. That is, as much as I can see in such oppressive fog. I have never seen such thick mist, and can only see perhaps twenty feet past myself in any direction. Is this town abandoned? I’ve heard that this is a resort town, a 2

getaway for anyone wanting a peaceful vacation in a historic location. But all I hear now are my own footsteps. Not even the sound of cars in the distance or buzzing from electrical wiring eerie this interrupting are silence. I guess that’s the town living up to its name. Wait...this can’t be. Am I dreaming? This is unreal. I’m walking down this street looking for any signs of life when, to my disbelief, the fog gave way to...nothing. There is no more road. It looks as though it just...fell away into the abyss. I stand at the

edge of the schism, debris at my feet, and try peering into the chasm to reveal anything below. Nothing but fog. What’s happening to this place? I can’t believe what I’m seeing. I can’t even imagine how something this absurd would happen, it’s beyond explanation. But standing here staring into empty space won’t make sense of it. My mind is racing, but I have to continue my search, even though I can feel a sense of dread lingering in my chest. The sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach won’t subside knowing that strange occurrences in this place haven’t ceased since I showed up. Uncertainty

is gripping me as I walk away from the dead end. “Welcome to Silent Hill! Always know where you are.” Finally, something to make at least some sense of where I am. This sign looks like one that vacationers would use while roaming the town during their stay so as not to get lost. There’s a map dispenser, and would you look at that...only one remaining. Scanning the map shows that this part of Silent Hill is relatively small and easy enough to navigate. Looks like I’m in Old Silent Hill, with the central part of town just across

a bridge. The streets are small and all locations relevant to vacationers are clearly marked. First thing I do is figure out the name of the road that appeared to have vanished and draw a big X over where it stops on the map. Always carrying a pen in my jacket has yet to prove a bad decision. It looks like Bachman Road leads to the Resort Area by the lake, and— Someone’s already used this map. Or it belonged to someone before it ended up in my hands. A message is handwritten next to Annie’s Bar in beautiful and purposeful cursive: “Waiting for you...” It’s probably just

a relic of visitors past, but oddly enough I’m drawn to it, as if familiar to me. I know it was intended for someone else, and whoever that was is unlikely to be around to explain it, but I can’t seem to shake this sense of longing. And, despite it being insensible, following this message is the only lead I have to find my footing anyway. I’ll fold up this map and keep it on me, as it’s the only guiding light I possess in this shrouded town. I should start making my w—oh thank goodness. As soon as I put my map in my jacket pocket, I glanced down the street I’d be walking when the outline of a person caught my eye in the

ut y make o l e r a b n like . I ca he fog, distance t n i e . r figu by smoke t a human s a c being o I uickly s q a shadow p u h c cat re and I should ing on he cy. o g s â&#x20AC;&#x2122; t a h normal can ask w ense of s e m o s reclaim

I follow the shad ow into the fog.

en s Desc s e n k r a

Silent Hill (1999) began as something very different from the ultimately emotionally driven masterpiece it became. Konami, the publishing company who owns the rights to the franchise, wanted a cinematic survival horror game that could compete with Resident Evil (1996), which was a popular game-changer and sales hit. Eventually the team responsible for the game, dubbed “Team Silent,” found themselves left to their own devices and opted to abandon the mandate for an action-oriented game. Instead, the team wanted an experience that would appeal to players’ emotions rather than try and

catch them off-guard with halfhearted jump scares (Silent Hill - Did You Know Gaming? Feat. Two Best Friends Play (Matt & Pat)). The final product was Silent Hill (1999), which released in February of 1999 for the PlayStation, and was an instant hit. Players take control of Harry Mason, a single father who finds himself in the titular fog engulfed town after waking up from a car crash. His daughter Cheryl is nowhere to be found, and Harry immediately begins the journey of searching for her (Silent Hill, 1999). Right from the beginning, it

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is clear how much thought and care was put into the atmosphere of the game, from the visual flare to the haunting ambient audio. Something players came to notice was the distinct lack of clarity, not only in the foggy surroundings but in the information they aren’t given. The story of the game is very much intentionally concealed throughout, and was designed to only be clear after having played through Silent Hill (1999) multiple times. To many this may come off as a cheap way of increasing the game’s replay value, but it is undeniably effective in instilling doubt in the player. Subtlety is the name of the game for Team Silent, and their brand of psychological

horror acts on the subconscious mind, therefore requiring more careful examination and thought than surface level horror tropes. What fear could be more intense than the fear of the unknown? There is more value in dread that lingers in the player than a simple and momentary jump scare. This is why Team Silent chose to create an atmosphere that is relentless in its terror. Players are incessantly bombarded with environments that on the outset don’t seem frightening or out of the ordinary, such as a school, a hospital, and a motel. But Silent Hill (1999) excels in its ability to seamlessly depict mundanity

with absurdity. Everyday locations create a feeling of uneasiness when inexplicable imagery is ever-present. Spirals appear in posters on the wall that the mind desperately wants to unravel. Religious imagery looms in every room, a reminder that a powerful presence is always watching. Words scratched into school desks that imply bullying and being made to feel like an outsider. Players donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t register these subtle touches in their conscious minds, therefore placing a terror below the surface that their unconscious minds are overwhelmed by. Throughout almost the entirety of the game, players cannot interpret why the nightmare is taking over the town or why

monsters appear as they do. It is only after understanding the final moments of Silent Hill (1999) that the reason becomes clear: it is the doing of a child. Alessa, a young girl in the story who had suffered a tortured fate for seven years (for various reasons), accidentally releases the hell she was subjected to onto the town through supernatural means (Silent Hill, 1999). After learning this, it becomes rather easy to interpret the events of the narrative and why creatures appear so grotesque. Alessa drew butterflies and read fairy tales as a child, so the town manifests a giant deformed moth

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creature and dragon that Harry must defeat. She suffered from injuries sustained from a fire, so the town of Silent Hill becomes a rusted and hellish landscape. She was bullied in her school for being considered a witch, so children appear as vicious trolls who claw away at Harry in groups (Silent Hill, 1999). The visual design throughout Silent Hill (1999) is impeccable, but it would not be as oppressive and nervewracking as it is without the genius of Akira Yamaoka. Yamaoka composed the music for the game as well as sounds effects, and was an invaluable contribution to bringing the atmosphere to life. He crafts a soundscape that effortlessly puts the player off

kilter. Industrial metallic noise in uncommon time signatures are a perfectly oppressive accompaniment to violent encounters and cause anxiety. Slow, pulsing ethereal notes fall while characters speak, a deceptively calming change in tone. Melancholic piano notes play during dramatic or heart-breaking scenes (Silent Hill, 1999). But, most haunting of all, Yamaoka is wise enough to know when the most effective music is...none at all. No one person who comes away from playing Silent Hill (1999) can go without mentioning the brilliant audio design, and is just one of the reasons it is considered a timeless masterpiece.

scream. I want to

I want to releas e all this confusion and fear and anxiety. I don’t know how else to do that. I can feel tears we lling up in my eyes. Someone help me. Please. I can’t think I ca n’t breathe I can’t focus I ca n’t catch my breath I can’t be lieve what’s happened to me sinc e I got here. No one’s coming. I can’t hide in this garage fore ver. Think. Slow your breathin g. Sit down and concentrate. Th at’s it, long breaths. What happen ed? I found a map, and saw some one...but it wasn’t a person. I do n’t know what it was or where it ca me from, but my optimism faded into intense fear immediately. I called to it, and it stopped almo st completely

still. I didn’t real ize my mistake until I was too cl ose and could see all too well th e humanity it didn’t have. A fa ce, clothes, familiar movements. All the things I expected just...w eren’t there. Nothing but skin st retched over its entire being. Foreign skin. The way it moved. ..I’ll never forget it. It jitter ed and shook implausibly as it sh uffled towards me, like each limb wa s programmed at different speeds. The sound that came from it was othe rworldly and echoed down the road and into every cell of my being. Fe ar held me in place as I felt the bl ood leave my face, utterly unable to process what was before me. The moment I regained any mindfu lness, I ran.

Anywhere. Away from the thing behind me that didn’t make sense. I could hear more of them on the streets as I wandered for shelter. I can faintly hear them now through the garage door. Strangely enough, the moans they make are almost as pathetic and tired as they are blood curdling. I tried every door I saw. Stores, homes, the bank, anywhere I could bury my head in the ground. I could feel the panic coming to a head when I thought I had nowhere to take shelter, even momentarily. I dared not shout for help while surrounded by horrors. A home just like any other lining the streets came into view, but with the garage door slightly ajar, just enough

to slip under it. I pondered if what lies on the other side might be more horrifying than what I’ve already seen, but it didn’t last, and I scurried inside after a quick peek. I slid the garage door down as quietly as possible, not only to avoid alerting the abominations outside, but possibly inside this home as well. I waited for a few moments in case something followed me or heard me from inside, just staring at the blank door, breath held and head spinning. It seemed like I was alone, and collapsed against the wall. Okay...I’m breathing easier. Taking the time to process what’s happened helped control the waves of dread. But they’re not stopping.

the connecting door use o The st of the h e r e h t o t e garag pening lock on it. O a e v a h t ’ n s ls e do king in revea e e p d n a y l t h ived it slig It appears l . m o o r g n i v i s a l ear any sign h t ’ n o d I lain in, but rniture is p u f e h T . e f i of l h for should searc I . c i t s u r d th. an nd myself wi e f e d o t g n i someth s are the resident k n i h t t ’ n o hat I d ime soon. W t y n a e m o h ling coming g? I’m stea n i o d n e v e am I pursue a ’s home to e n o e m o s m o not r f g that I’m n i h t e m o S . m phanto while be here, all n e v e l l i w g e sur l are roamin l e h m o r f s e m I creatur this town. A f o s t e e r t s the oo real. d? It feels t n i m y m g n i p? s o l will I wake u n e h w , t o n s It it’ irling ughts are sw o h t e s e h t l Al 20

essant, loud and inc , d a e h y m in l but at king them al n i h t m ’ I d ll. n a othing at a n e m i t e m a the s st aid may have fir m o o r h t a b e e Th hing my fac s a w d n a , s oing supplie might help. G r e t a w d l o c . h wit rve-wracking e n s i s r i a t nt up the s a slow asce r e t f a y l l u f Thank e. The no one’s her e k i l s k o o l a it ight be where m . . . m o o r d e b wers master open the dra I . t p e k s i d gun ext to the be n e l b a t l l a m on the s neous f and simulta e i l e r y m o t and, in the l a revolver a e v e r , k c o but h s not loaded, s ’ t I . r e w a top dr g next ts is sittin e l l u b f o x o a b I imagined... n a h t r e i v a e It’s to it. H gun before. a d l e h r neve ang on load it and h y l l u f I . d l ing o c while search y l l u f e r a c to it

the rest of the house. Th e master bathroom is close by. I go straight for the cabinet under th e sink. The first aid kit is no surprise but...a health drink? I’ ve never seen one before...looks ju st like a pill bottle but full of fluid. I’ll take what I can get. I take both and place them on the bed next to the bullets. The next bedroom over ... looks like a kid’s room. I don’t suspect I’ll find anything useful here. But I will need so mething to carry things in, my co at won’t hold a box of bullets easily. There’s a backpack laying on the floor next to a beanbag. It ’s full of papers that look like school

work...and now it’s not. It’s not ideal, but enough to hold the supplies. I could check fo r a knife in the kitchen, so I can conserve bullets for when I have no other choice, but I would need so mething less close-contact. I’ll grab the knife anyway. I remember seeing some tools in the garage , there might be something I coul d carry among them. Stepping back into the garage reminds me that th ere is a world full of demons beyo nd this house. I was happy to forg et, even if for a few minutes. I sp ot a lead pipe amidst the saws and wrenches scattered on a table. It’s the only thing hefty and long enough to keep my distance while causing some damage. I’ll stow the gun 21

in my coat pocket so I ca n carry the pipe. I feel anxiety building inside me again, it’s da wning on me that I’ve already be en here too long and that I have to step out into the fog again. I take out the map to see where I am and where I need to go. I have n’t gone too far off course, fort unately. Looks like the backyard fe nce has a hole in it, some fenc e boards are missing. It would prob ably be safer and quieter to le ave this way. Sliding the backdo or open sends shivers down my bo dy as a warm breeze hits my face . I carefully walk across the backyard, keeping nois e to a minimum. The backpack is heavy on

my shoulders, as is the pipe in my hand. I turn sideways to slide through the gap in th e fence, turning my head away so I don—oh god. There’s someone stan ding in the window...of the hous e I was just in...watching me. I can’t move. My heart stopped. I start running.

I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t look back.

Fear an d Emoti onal

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“A sense of fear sustained by silence. That silence lying within each individual,” is how Team Silent’s screenwriter Hiroyuki Owaku describes the horror present in Silent Hill 2 (2001), and his choice of words could not be more fitting (Making of Silent Hill 2). Players take control of James Sunderland who, after receiving a letter from his wife claiming she is waiting for him in Silent Hill, ventures into town to look for her. There’s only one caveat: Mary, his wife, died of an unnamed disease three years prior (Silent Hill 2, 2001). The truth is uncovered slowly as the story progresses and, similar to Silent Hill (1999), only truly

comes together in hindsight after completion. Just as players take the journey to uncover the full narrative, James must come to terms with his past deeds as they are revealed. “Sex and death” in unison are the driving force behind the fear in Silent Hill 2 (2001). Masahiro Ito, the designer behind the creatures of the series, took this theme and brought it to life (Making of Silent Hill 2). The “Lying Figure” is a humanoid being in a makeshift straightjacket, its arms wiggling inside the skin the creature is wrapped in. Certain body parts are sexualized and exposed, and it shines as if

lubricated or as the texture of a condom (Birlew 2001). “Lying Figures” can also been interpreted as repressed memories that James must overcome, due to their trapped and faceless appearance. They cough and writhe on the ground when attacked, similar to a bedridden hospital patient going through their death throes, ala Mary in her final moments. The “Mannequin” creature is made up of two bottom halves of mannequins with no other notable human features, just two pairs of legs joined at the waists, symbolic of James’ sexual frustration. “Abstract Daddy” is a monster consisting of two figures in what could be seen as a bed or door frame. The dominant figure is

laying atop a smaller one in an overpowering pose and walks on two legs. “Abstract Daddy” represents the sexual molestation another character in Silent Hill 2’s (2001) narrative repeatedly suffered at the hands of her abusive father, and perhaps even brother. “Bubble Head Nurses” are faceless female creatures in nurse uniforms that convulse wildly and are sexualized through the appearance of short skirts and exposed cleavage (Birlew 2001). James suffered from sexual deprivation while his wife was hospitalized, and during his visits would continually see attractive hospital personnel whose faces became blurred.

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Unquestionably the most recognizable creature of the entire Silent Hill series, “Pyramid Head” acts as a mascot of sorts for Silent Hill 2 (2001). Ito wanted a monster without a face, and used the idea of a metal pyramid because of its painful appearance and suggestion (Making of Silent Hill 2). “Pyramid Head” is not particularly large in his stature, but is imposing and oppressive nonetheless, representative of male dominance. He is seen handling other more feminine creatures throughout the game like objects, and carries a giant sword which he drags along on the ground behind him. He is burdened with enormous weight,

symbolic of the guilt James must carry. But “Pyramid Head” serves a larger purpose. He chases and torments James repeatedly, and it is revealed near the end of the story that he was manifested by James’ own subconscious desire to be punished for his sins (Silent Hill 2, 2002). Yamaoka took a departure from the first game’s soundtrack when crafting the music for Silent Hill 2 (2001). It still has its share of industrial pounding and disturbing whines, but a heavier emphasis was put on beautiful, melancholic melodies. Silent Hill 2 (2001) is usually the soundtrack that comes to mind when people

think of music from the series, which is unsurprising given this new approach. Isolated, almost tortured piano notes fall in tragic fashion. Sad and mysterious melodies with strong drum beats echo the loneliness of wandering the town in isolation. These calming compositions work so well because, in a way, Yamaokaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s music breathes. It pulsates with rising and falling notes, coming and going, reflective of the doubt and uncertainty plaguing all characters in the game. Like the ever-present mist hovering over Silent Hill, it floats and lingers, ever-changing and weightless (Understanding Silent Hillâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Soundtracks). Yamaoka was also responsible for monster noises and sound effects heard in Silent

Hill 2 (2001). His goal was to craft sounds that get under the skin by being unexpected, challenging the imagination and causing physical apprehension in the player (Making of Silent Hill 2). Similar to the monster noises in Silent Hill (1999), recordings of insects and animals were pitched and deformed in numerous ways to produce audio that is truly off-putting. Silent Hill 2â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s (2001) soundtrack is considered one of the greatest musical achievements in video games, a shining example of how music can sit perfectly within the context it is made for and stand equally as a masterpiece on its own.

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war ll i t s is n u g The

It lays by my side on the ground. I feel the worst physical pain I’ve ever felt in my left leg as I try to hold the bl ood in with my hands. I remember li mping hastily into this alley and si tting against the wall. Before th at I remember leaving the house on Levin Street after seeing a silh ouette, and then running. Everyt hing between that feels like a bl ur. A blur of being caught in hell and barely surviving. I don’t know how it happened...I was ru nning towards the street when I sudd enly thought my eyes were closing. I thought I was losing consciou sness. I came to a complete stop in the middle of the street when I realized it was neither. It was getting dark.

Quickly. As if nigh t was falling before my eyes in a matter of seconds. Before I could process what had just happen ed, I began to faintly hear a siren blaring off in the distance, but getting louder. Eventually it was all I could hear, and my head began pounding as if so mething was trying to break out of my skull.

I dropped the pi pe and clutched my head wi th both hands as I fell to the ground on my knees, but it didn ’t help the agony. I couldn’t keep my eyes open. Every time I tried to open them, something lo oked different about the world. St reet lights shut off and became rusted. The

rned to nelt on tu ren cement I k When the si . e s l e g n i h somet ciating id the excru d o s d e d i o s b su finally able t s a w I d n a , e headach ow, I ooking back n L . s e y e y m d n ope ok around an o l I . t ’ n d a atch wish I h en while I p p o s r a e y m keep d kit The first ai . d n u o w y m uld up godsend. Sho a g n i e b p u ended e this r a cut lik o f h g u o n e to be t know what ’ n o d l l i t s one. I scape ellish dream h e h t f o k thin od back me when I sto d e t i a w a t a ing h t felt everyth d n a w a s up. I world t, as if the f i h s e m d n u aro by some kind e m o c r e v o g n n’t was bei footsteps did y M . e r a m t h g i of n cement, as walking on w I e k i l d n u und o s d down I fo e k o o l I n e h and w ng on I was standi . t ’ n s a w I t ou

was ting. The sky a r g l a t e m d e rust o more There was n . k c a l b h c t i p could ess, and I n k r a d y l n o fog, re. The s than befo s e l n e v e e e se erced me mor i p w o h e m o s silence ntil I That was, u . e r o f e b e n tha from somewher g n i h c e e r c s to heard a was too dark t i t u b , e m d behin start ere. I had to h w y l t c a x e ed e se ately I notic i d e m m i t u b , moving ements one of my mov y r e v e d u o l g how tallic clan e m a , e m o . I had bec very footstep e m o r f g n i t a reson ut I had here to go, b w w o n k t ’ n d i if I d there, even m o r f y a w a to go . couldn’t see ut me my wits abo t p e k I nct to on my insti d e i l e r d n a se to keeping noi , d n u o r a get

a minimum. I don’t know what would have happened if I hadn’t stumbled into that antique store. I couldn’t recognize anything as even remotely earthly. Barbed wire wrapped around benches and street lamps. Everything became damp, worn down, and blood colored. Doors became cages and buildings turned to sheets of metal. Was I hallucinating? I don’t know if I can even discern what’s real and what isn’t anymore. I thought my sanity was slipping away before, but now I’ve lost hope of holding on to it. What was hospital equipment doing inside that antique store? Why was there a religious sigil on the wall? The only reason I was drawn to

it was because a flickering light caught my eye. It was the only light I could see anywhere. Turned out it was an old military-style flashlight laying on its side on the counter, clearly illuminating the haunting sigil. I picked it up and examined it until it stopped flickering, not knowing something was in that store with me. I pointed the flashlight towards the backroom door to see what made that horrible screeching, lead pipe raised at my side. I didn’t even hesitate to fully see what it was, I just threw the pipe at it to buy myself some time to escape. It worked, but the flashlight was still flickering, and my leg got caught on barbed wire outside the

door. Tr apped, I could he creature ar the moving c loser. I fire the had to gun. I s hot unti empty, fl l it was ashlight in one h fell to t and. It he ground , still w inexplic rithing ably, but I couldn’ to reloa t wait d. I fr eed myse hurried lf and away.

no shelt er to be found. I softly, constant tread l y of what m staying ight be c wary hasing me checking while my map routinel looked l y. It ike the a wasn’t fa n t i q u e store rf led to An rom Bachman Road, which nie’s Bar . I kept until I c The only m o o u ving ldn’t bea things v l r o me were n t g o e w r i a , sible to lk much which wa whatever s conven when I sp illumina the flash iently o tted this ted. light Nothing c I r up gave a s m h p u e ffl d alley. ed in fa it me hope. lit r enough clear of horror. Just une t o steer being see I kept w nding n and con andering the flash an injur cealed despite light. A ed leg, s quietl mostly b could, I think my y e cause I popped op as I adrenali en the fir ne was s kit. My I just n s o h t a eeded to high. nds are aid still sh I’ve nev get some could ke aking. where I er fired ep safe a gun be and quie hated the could loo fore. I t so I feeling. k at my m Before I ap and ga proceed bearing t in some any furt could o reality her howe felt a fa . But the v er, I miliar he re was adache, o caused m ne that e to low er my he ad and 39

I opened shut my eyes again. When rned. The my eyes, the fog had retu the town darkness had lifted, and worldly appeared to be made of lieved, materials again. I was re eeding. but my leg was still bl g up the I’m almost finished tyin use in bandages. There’s no ing down wiping the tears stream they’re my face. I don’t know what t pain, for anymore. Not withou I should but I’m able to stand. w while reload the revolver no s left, I’m safe. Not many bullet e now. I and it’s my only defens e health almost forgot about th A few drink...I hope it helps. the pain sips later and...I feel tually, being slightly numbed. Ac ted too, I feel a little rejuvena 40

my way enough to continue making to Annie’s Bar.

Thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s no turnin g back now.

ed Ho

er end

o rr

In Silent Hill 3 (2003) you play as Heather, a 17 year old girl who looks, acts, and speaks like an ordinary teenager, as expected when the player is first introduced to her. She wakes up in a fast food restaurant after having a vivid nightmare, and a sunset can be seen shining through the window. The color of the sunset is intentionally more intense than a sunset usually displays. This is Team Silent’s way of indicating to players that a story about blood awaits them (Making of Silent Hill 3). As the narrative of Silent Hill 3 (2003) unfolds and more is revealed about Heather’s

character and past, it becomes increasingly apparent that one of the dominant themes running through the game’s veins is the fear of sex, specifically of pregnancy. In all facets of the game’s design and presentation, this theme is abundant and is in many cases the source of the uneasiness the player feels subconsciously (Making of Silent Hill 3). Early on in one of the first levels of the game, an enemy Heather must overcome is the “Numb Body”, a slow wobbling creature with only a phallic body supported by a pair of slender legs, which is covered in visible veins. Undoubtedly, this pathetic monster that squeals and attempts to attack Heather’s

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legs is a bipedal penis. Another much larger monster Heather faces at the end of the same level is called a “Split Worm”, a massive worm like creature whose tip of the head splits open to reveal a pair of jaws and sharp teeth. The flesh beneath its outer shell is bright pink and dripping with fluids (Birlew 2003). It lunges towards Heather as it crawls in and out of giant holes in the surrounding walls, its repeated entrance and exit into and from the openings inherently sexual in nature. The “Closer” is a large humanoid monster with large clumps of meat in place of arms

or hands, and a head that is made up of nothing more than a chunk of meat with a vertical slit, unquestionably resembling a vagina (Perron 43). It is also clad in a white apron or dress and has bandages wrapped around its limbs. It lumbers towards Heather clumsily as its vaginal head quivers uncontrollably, and through the removal of its hands, serves as a disturbing reminder of female masturbation (or the inability of). Much later in a different level, the player must avoid a monster called “Pendulum”, which is named so for the way it moves and attacks with its bladed limbs. It has two visible heads, one atop its body and one hanging

below it, the lower head being adorned by a long, sharp blade (Birlew 2003). The addition of a second head in the genital area causes the creature to resemble a woman giving birth, and the inclusion of a phallic blade blurs the gender of the creature, further presenting the possibility of pain for Heather (Silent Hill 3, 2003). These anxieties coalesce into a general fear of sex and of pregnancy. Heather must fight her way past monsters which give these fears flesh. She quite literally is confronted with the fears common to herself and all other women and must overcome

them if she wishes to see the end of her arduous journey. Through the sexual imagery of the monster designs, Heather is forced to constantly feel the horror of being overpowered by phallic creatures who remind her of her own sexuality, as well as the pain and suffering that could come from her physical and mental violation. Composer Akira Yamaoka propels these ideas forward by choosing to have a female singer on Silent Hill 3â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s (2003) soundtrack, a first in the series (Making of Silent Hill 3). The lyrics are full of angst and confusion, longing for affection and certainty. The breathing, pulsing melancholia of past soundtracks makes a welcome

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return, along with strong beats that ride along scenes perfectly. Industrial noise tracks are accounted for as well, but to a lesser degree in favor of more variety. For example, Yamaoka recorded a low, rumbling voice akin to Mongolian throat singing and included it in scenes where he wanted players to feel anxious (Making of Silent Hill 3).

Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve let myself suffer...

...ever since I began this journey. I’ve bled and shot a monster... if they truly even are monsters. Maybe I am. I risked going into someone else’s home just to find things to keep me going. I still haven’t fully caught my breath, even now as I walk on a wounded leg. Somewhere along the way, without realizing it until now, I abandoned hope of finding a way back out of this town. All this... for what? Something that eludes me, and perhaps was never here. What if I get to Annie’s Bar and find nothing waiting for me? What if the nightmare takes over again and I run out of bullets? None of it matters now. 54

Since I first walked into Silent Hill, I felt something compelling me, urging me to find it. I just wish I knew what or who it was. The urge was so strong that I put up with whatever came my way, however hellish it was. I’ve never felt fear like I have today, but the desire to survive and find the truth kept me going. Walking towards the bar now, I lament that I may have gotten used to this town, though I’ll never get used to the hair raising noises always just beyond the mist. I glance again at the map in my coat pocket. “Waiting for you...” The handwriting still offers me some comfort. It’s not much farther now, I’m close. What

happens after I get there? I guess I’ll find out, one way or another. “Annie’s Bar.” The sign above the door looks faded and depicts a key next to the name. I stand silently staring at the door, waiting for something to happen because of my presence. Nothing happens. While gazing at the bar, it suddenly washes over me: for the first time since arriving here, I feel how tired I am. I’m on the verge of collapse, actually. It feels as though I walked into Silent Hill just a moment ago, and at the same time it feels like I’ve spent days searching. It doesn’t seem like anyone’s inside. Every step towards the door is heavy

and slow and purposeful. The door handle feels warm somehow. I still haven’t brought myself to pull the door open, even with my hand on it. I take a breath in. The door creaks loudly and it feels like eternity swinging it open. Eternity...

What lies beyond the doorway fills me wi

Bibliography Birlew, Dan. Silent Hill 2 Official Strategy Guide, BradyGames, 2001. Birlew, Dan. Silent Hill 3 Official Strategy Guide, BradyGames, 2003. “Making of Silent Hill 3 - HQ.” Youtube, uploaded by Fungo, 17 July, 2011, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KiH4wOkSzGs. “Making of Silent Hill 2 - HQ.” Youtube, uploaded by Fungo, 17 August, 2011, https://www.youtube.com/E1VKvED76WQ. Perron, Bernard. “Characters’ Nightmarish Delusions in a Resort Town.” Silent Hill: The Terror Engine, University of Michigan Press, Ann Arbor, 2012, pp. 33–64. JSTOR, www.jstor.org/ stable/j.ctv65swb6.6. Resident Evil. PlayStation, Capcom, 1996. Silent Hill. Playstation, Konami, 1999. Silent Hill 2. Playstation 2, Konami, 2001. Silent Hill 3. Playstation 2, Konami, 2003. “Silent Hill - Did You Know Gaming? Feat. Two Best Friends Play (Matt & Pat).” Youtube, uploaded by DidYouKnowGaming? 2 Nov. 2013, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S-IQ_1Ws7n4. “Understanding Silent Hill’s Soundtracks.” Youtube, uploaded by ThorHighHeels, 9 Sept. 2011, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BHAcJhcEOCQ.

Image Credits [1.1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Silent_Hill_(video_game) [1.2] https://www.tombraiderforums.com/showthread.php?t=183666 [1.3] https://aminoapps.com/c/silent_hill_amino/page/item/midwich-elementary-school/42QZ_kQxHvI bRove3a0Jdodp0eBqgjDGWze [1.4] https://silenthill.fandom.com/wiki/Mumbler [1.5] http://arkanonephilimimagenes.blogspot.com/2006/01/habitacin-de-alessa.html [1.6] https://silenthill.fandom.com/wiki/Akira_Yamaoka [2.1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Silent_Hill_2 [2.2] https://www.seekpng.com/ipng/u2w7a9y3w7e6t4q8_yingfigure-silent-hill-lying-figure/ [2.3] https://www.pngitem.com/middle/JTiT_clip-art-silent-hill-2-mannequin-silent-hill/ [2.4] https://silenthill.fandom.com/wiki/Abstract_Daddy [2.5] https://ya-webdesign.com/image/silent-hill-2-pyramid-head-png/360933.html [2.6] https://www.gamestar.de/artikel/silent-hill-2-enhanced-edition-mod-horror-meisterwerk schoener-denn-je,3354411.html [3.1] https://silenthill.fandom.com/wiki/Silent_Hill_3 [3.2] https://silenthillpage.tumblr.com/post/121081432352/silent-hill-3-red-sunset [3.3] https://silenthill.fandom.com/wiki/Numb_Body [3.4] https://silenthill.fandom.com/wiki/Split_Worm [3.5] https://www.wattpad.com/781715385-silent-hill-3-characters-monsters-book-3-closer [3.6] https://silenthill.fandom.com/wiki/Pendulum