October 2010 - She Magazine

Bicyclist Rae-Leigh Stark’s story about her summer cross-country ride to help communities in need.

ON THE COVER Columbus native Colleen McGovern hits the fashion runways.

Submitted Photo

Skinny Jeans contestants begin work toward their fitness goals.

Locals and medical experts weigh in on trendy toning shoes.

october 2010 • she magazine

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editor’s note Remember when you were young and throwing a fit at your sister’s or cousin’s or best friend’s birthday party because she was getting tons of cool presents and you sat there with nothing?

Perhaps your parents tried to calm you down or place things in perspective by telling you, “Now, Susie, it’s much better to give than to receive”; and “Bobbie, isn’t it nice to see your friend so happy? Your chance will come. We all have to wait our turn.”

Chances are their words of wisdom went right over your head or failed to quell your frustrations. However, chances are also that now — as a wise, seasoned adult — you realize they were right.

This month She magazine is all about spreading the love. Women are giving back to their communities and doing their part to make the world a better place. First meet Rae-Leigh Stark, a young city planning employee who combined her love of cycling with a passion for helping others and joined a Bike and Build team this summer.

She traveled across the southern U.S. rebuilding homes and came back with a great story and plenty of pictures. Read about her in the pages to follow.

If you’ve always wanted to do your part, but aren’t sure how, a newly formed women’s group may be your answer.

The Women’s Giving Circle of Bartholomew County is looking for members. I sat down with them to learn what they’re all about and how other women can jump on board.

In keeping with that theme, columnist Daniel Schuetz shows us the importance of the other side of giving — how to graciously receive.

Of course I like to stay well rounded, so we have plenty of other stories to soothe your non-philanthropic side, such as a captivating Q-and-A with Columbus native and fashion model Colleen McGovern.

We also look into the claims made by the ever-so-popular toning shoes on today’s market. Can we all really just slip on a pair of shoes and wa-la, J-Lo booty?

Find out in our story by Crystal Henry.

Well, let’s keep this warm and fuzzy feeling going. Get reading!

Do you have a comment about a She article or feature?

E-mail Kelsey your remark or short personal story that pertains to a topic you read about and we may publish it.

It’s all about keeping She your magazine.

Check out past issues of She magazine at

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EDITOR Kelsey DeClue COPY EDITOR Katharine Smith GRAPHIC DESIGNERS Amanda Waltz Stephanie Otte WRITERS Jalene Hahn Crystal Henry Ian McGriff Daniel Schuetz Jennifer Willhite photographerS April Knox Andrew Laker Stock Images Provided by Thinkstock

october 20, 2010 She ©2010 All rights reserved.

Published monthly by The Republic.

SEND COMMENTS TO: Kelsey DeClue, The Republic 333 Second St., Columbus, IN 47201, call 812-379-5691 or e-mail kdeclue@therepublic.com ADVERTISING INFORMATION: Call Cathy Klaes at 812-379-5678 or e-mail cklaes@therepublic.com.

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Rae-Leigh Stark helped build affordable houses while she bicycled — across the country

By Jennifer Willhite / Travel photos courtesy of Rae-Leigh Stark

Imagine pedaling 3,706 miles on your bike … in 75 days. Would you be up for the challenge?

When Rae-Leigh Stark arrived in Columbus three years ago with a degree in urban planning, the University of Cincinnati alumna had no idea that her passion for the environment and a friendship forged over coffee would culminate in a cross-country journey that not many get to experience.

When Stark met Laura Garrett, the two found that they shared interests and a social consciousness. They decided to pool their energy, time and resources to make a difference.

“Reused with Love” was a joint venture born of their shared passion for craft making and environmental awareness.

“We were so excited about all our crafts that we decided to have a booth at the market the following summer,” said Garrett. “We both

made a variety of crafts, including necklaces out of bottle caps, bowls out of records, picture frames out of magazines, bags out of Tshirts and jewelry from bike chains.”

Neither had any idea that their bike chain jewelry would serve as a catalyst for not only conversation and profit, but a unique opportunity.

An unexpected calling In the summer of 2009, Reused with Love joined other booths at Columbus’ downtown farmer’s market. It just so happened that a team of Bike & Build cross country cyclists was scheduled to pedal through Columbus the weekend of Reused with Love’s market debut.

The group stopped by the booth and bought all the bike chain jewelry Stark and Garrett had available. A casual conversation served to initiate what would become an inspiring journey for Stark.

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“

What an amazing way to push your mind, body and spirit while making a difference in so many lives.

—Stark’s friend, Laura Garrett

”

october 2010 • she magazine

Photo by Andrew Laker

page 5

“They told me about the mission of the organization and what they were doing, and it just sounded like something I had to do,” she said.

Founded in 2002, Bike & Build is an organization designed to raise awareness about the need for affordable housing for all Americans.

Open to young adults ages 19 to 25, Bike & Build offers eight, east-to-west cycling routes across the nation.

As the cyclists bike across the country, they stop in different urban areas along the way to help refurbish existing housing and construct new affordable housing for those in need.

Money raised prior to and during the trip is used to help fund the construction and refurbishment processes.

Stark’s genuine interest in the trip momentarily caught her co-workers at the city’s planning department off guard.

“We first thought she was crazy, but we were also very proud of such a huge undertaking,” said Laura Thayer, assistant director of planning. “We were also a little jealous because of what a wonderful experience this program would provide her.”

Due to her academic obligations with graduate school, Garrett was unable to join Stark on the trip but saw the opportunity as one her friend could not miss.

“When you are riding, all you can do is talk.

So we really got to know one another.”

—Rae-Leigh Stark

“I was so excited and jealous at the same time,” Garrett said. “What an amazing way to push your mind, body and spirit while making a difference in so many lives.”

After meeting the Bike & Build cyclists in June, Stark submitted her application and was accepted in November to the 2010 Southern U.S. Route’s team.

Once accepted, cyclists are given six months to raise $4,000, log 500 miles of preparatory cycling and complete a research project. They may also choose which route they would like to take.

To raise money, Stark held bake sales, hosted a cookout at Yes Cinema and sent letters to

Top: Stark and fellow cyclists work on a house in Baton Rouge.

Bottom: Stark’s mileage counter.

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friends and family.

Journey of a lifetime Starting in Jacksonville, Fla., on May 27, Stark’s journey across the southern states meandered through Louisiana, Alabama, Texas and New Mexico before ending in San Francisco on Aug. 9. During her 75-day trip, she helped sand and paint walls, dig trenches for foundations, and raise walls and position trusses for homes in cities that included New Orleans, Baton Rouge and Dallas.

The cyclists’ day started at 5 a.m., and they would be packed and on the road by 7 a.m.

The goal each day was to reach their next host spot by 4 p.m. to avoid the rush hour of commuting traffic. Even when the weather was being temperamental, the cyclists continued unless lightning flashed.

“Some days it was so windy that you were only going 5 miles per hour on flat terrain,” Stark said. “We would just keep pedaling. It was no fun waking up and starting the day in a pouring rain. If it was lightning, we’d all pull over and take shelter until the lightning had stopped.”

The hospitality that Stark experienced during her journey definitely made an impression. It was not uncommon for the organizaStark with Chelsea Flannagan and Anna Stokes at the north rim of the Grand Canyon. tions and individuals who hosted the group

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(Opposite page lower left) The group tours a home in the lower 9th Ward of New Orleans, built by “Make it Right,” a nonprofit started by Brad Pitt. (Lower right) Riding into Page, Ariz.

to provide meals and warm showers to the weary cyclists.

“We stayed at different churches, community centers, schools or any facility that was willing to house us,” Stark said. “We met some really great people along the way that helped us out.”

Former Bike & Build members and their families also offered shelter and sustenance to Stark’s group.

“We stayed at a family’s house in Carthage, Texas,” Stark said. “Their daughter had done it in 2005, and they’ve been hosting ever since then. Yeah, it was someone’s home, and we stayed in every little corner we could in this person’s home.”

Making a difference The group spent a week in New Orleans, where they helped refurbish homes damaged during Hurricane Katrina in 2005. While there, they helped restore a warehouse in the Lower Ninth Ward. Originally used to house an individual’s antique car collection, the warehouse was renovated as a grass-roots community center.

The group of 33 covered an average of 80 miles per day, often in rugged terrain. Changes in elevation would frequently challenge them mentally and physically. When traveling october 2010 • she magazine

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through New Mexico, Stark discovered that sometimes the interstate isn’t just for four- or 18-wheel traffic.

“You can bicycle on the interstates, because it is the only route that will get you through some areas,” she said.

San Francisco meant the end of the trip and three days to celebrate and relax. When Stark and her fellow cyclists arrived, they celebrated by jumping into the Pacific Ocean.

Once the excitement subsided and the champagne was gone, exhaustion settled in, and the group packed for home. Some flew,

others drove. But Stark feels that the friendships will last a lifetime.

“You make intense connections because you spend so much time together,” she said. “When you are riding, all you can do is talk. So we really got to know one another.”

Without reservation, she says she would recommend Bike & Build to anyone.

“You meet inspiring people along the way and within your group,” Stark said. “It is totally life-changing because you realize you can do anything if you put your mind to it.”

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In an uncertain world, five little facts can make a big difference. She magazine is starting its own round of Five Things I Know for Sure. Each month we’ll ask an everyday woman to share five things she knows are certain. Oprah does it, so why can’t we?

This week Columbus resident and She magazine Facebook fan April Fletcher tells us: “Five things I know for sure …”

1.

It’s OK if you don’t know what you want in life, especially right out of high school.

Once you figure it out, strive to make it happen.

2.

It doesn’t matter if you have 1,000 friends or 20 friends on Facebook. “It’s the friends you can call up at 4 a.m. that matter.”

— Marlene Dietrich

3.

I absolutely cannot color my hair with a box of dye from the store without orange hair. Thank you to all those hairdressers and stylists who give us a tissue, shake their heads and bring us back to normalcy.

4.

A group of friends, a pile of spoons and a deck of cards can definitely make for a hilariously entertaining evening.

5.

There is nothing better than going to Wrigley with my dad to watch the “Cubbies” (Chicago Cubs) play. Win or lose.

page 11

Rocker bottom shoes claim to produce firmer-bottomed women

By Crystal Henry / Photos by Kelsey DeClue With the busy lives women lead, finding time to hit the gym often doesn’t make it on the to-do list. Yet, slimming down or getting fit is usually at the top of the wish list.

So naturally, the plethora of products from ab blasters to ThighMasters — which promise to slim and tone on their own — would appeal to any woman on the go.

And the latest craze that has waltzed onto the workout scene is the rocker bottom shoe that vows to tone and slim without setting foot in a gym. But does it work? Is there a magical shoe that holds the key to thinner thighs and a better butt?

“There’s no magic pill,” said podiatrist Patrick DeHeer. “You have to put the work in.”

Although companies that make shoes such as Skechers Shape-ups publish studies boasting weight loss and other body benefits from using their shoes, DeHeer said the data is skewed. He said the experiments were conducted by doctors paid by the company and should be scrutinized.

A recent independent lab compared

rocker bottom shoes from Skechers, MTD and Reebok with a standard New Balance shoe using a group of young women. Each woman tested all four shoes on a treadmill at varying speeds and inclines.

The study measured things such as muscle activity and calories burned, and it found no significant difference between any of the shoes, DeHeer said.

Skechers also had a lawsuit filed against it for false advertisement. However, the company maintains that the data gathered from its initial studies is accurate and not misleading.

Although the independent study revealed no difference in muscle activity or weight loss, DeHeer said there was an initially positive response to the rocker bottom shoes because of the comfort provided by the thicker cushioned soles.

Comfort is key Mary Frasier, a nurse manager at Columbus Regional Hospital, said that is exactly what she loves about her Skechers Shape-ups.

“I really like them because I don’t have leg fatigue anymore,” she said. “And my feet don’t hurt.”

Frasier said she is on her feet 75 percent of the day making the rounds on her staff and patients. The other nurses convinced her to try them because they all claimed their legs felt better once they went home from a shift wearing the rocker bottom shoes.

However one of the design intentions of the shoes is also a flaw. They were specifically designed to create instability. The gait that results has been likened to walking in soft sand. That instability is supposed to use and tone muscles that don’t usually get a workout from walking in flat shoes. The new muscle use is supposed to lead to a leaner physique.

Frasier said when she first got the shoes she really couldn’t walk well in them, and her staff warned her to only wear them for an hour the first day or so. She followed their advice and then gradually increased the time until she was wearing them for her entire shift.

Other nurses who wore them for a full eight-hour shift right off the bat complained of shin splints. And shoe manufacturers have had complaints of people falling because the shoes are higher than normal.

Frasier said she was initially skeptical, so

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Brands shown from top: Avia Motion, Dr. Scholl’s Fitness Walkers, LA Gear Walk ’n Tone, Reebok Easy Tone and Skechers Shape-ups

october 2010 • she magazine

page 13

Rock on

• MBT—Called the “anti-shoe.” Made to feel like walking in sand. Disrupts stability and is supposed to maximize muscles and posture.

• New Balance Rock & Tone—Thick, firm soles. Cushioned insoles.

• Clark Waves—Slip resistance, dressier than others, rocker outsole.

• Skechers Shape-ups and Tone-ups—Different designs specifically for walking or running.

• Cogent Shoes—These don’t create unstable walking surface. They have double rocker bottom, but they are designed to stabilize the step instead of destabilize it. Orthotic or foam foot bed, bacteria and odor control.

• Sano by Mephisto—Said to be the most comfortable of all rocker bottoms. Power stimulator in heel and multi-vibration system in forefoot. Induces instability.

• RYN Shoes—Design appeals to a younger crowd.

• Chung Shi Shoes—Work to massage your feet with acupressure points as well as weight loss, toning, etc.

• Reebok EasyTone—Balance ball-inspired technology with moving air creates micro-instability.

• Earth brand Kalso—Negative heel technology.

• Spring Boost—Claims to use Dorsiflexion technology to place the muscles in a favorable position to develop greater force.

P a g e 1 4 SHE m a g a z i n e • o c t o b e r 2 0 1 0

she asked advice from her son, who is a chiropractor. He told her the biggest benefit he sees is that the shoes teach people to walk properly from heel to toe.

She said she feels as if she is walking correctly and that her posture has improved. As for losing weight or toning, Frasier said she isn’t sure, but the comfort benefits she receives have made her a rocker bottom believer.

Adverse effects?

DeHeer said that comfort may come at a price. He believes that most people have a condition called equinus, a tightness of the Achilles tendon. And he says these shoes may make this condition worse.

“They’re essentially wearing a highheeled shoe all the time,” he said.

Although the shoe might be designed to improve posture and proper walking technique, people still aren’t getting a true heel stride, he said.

The instability of the design causes them to walk differently and pronate more, which means the arch of the foot is flattening and the feet turn in more. On certain rocker bottom shoes, the heel is elevated, and it worsens this condition.

But podiatrist Scott Benjamin said he disagrees that they worsen equinus. He said equinus is a lack of range of motion in the Achilles tendon, and people with higher arched feet typically have this disorder.

He agreed that he would not recommend them for a person with pronation, but that is only because there are better options for that condition.

Benjamin said the shoes make people use their leg muscles a little differently, and they do report a bit of soreness when they are getting used to the shoe. But he said at least 75 percent of his patients who use them really like them. However instead of toning or weight loss, he thinks it is mainly because they are comfortable.

He said the thicker sole is good because of the cushion, but they shouldn’t be used by everyone. Older patients who have balance issues are at a higher risk for falling, and people with flat feet or motion control issues also should avoid them.

It could be in the mind-set DeHeer and Benjamin agree that there are probably no significant weight-loss benefits to the rocker bottom shoes.

They said a shoe alone will not cause you to lose weight.

DeHeer said people may claim to lose weight with the shoes, but it could just be that they are walking more because they found shoes that are comfortable to walk in. He also said it could just be the power of positive thinking.

“I do think there’s some placebo effect,” he said.

The weight loss and toning marketing are a fad, he said, and recent research is helping to debunk the myths. He recommends a regular New Balance shoe for everyday walking and Asics or Brooks for running.

He said it’s more important to find a shoe that feels right and is comfortable.

And perhaps that is just the reason for the rocker bottom’s popularity.

“We’ve sold a lot of them,” said Adam Winters, a sales associate at MC Sports.

“They’ve been a big hit.”

Winters said there has been a high demand for the rocker bottom shoes, so it doesn’t look like the fad will die anytime soon.

And even if these new rockin’ kicks don’t magically glam up your gams or condense your caboose, if the shoe fits (comfortably), wear it.

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Women’s Giving Circle combines resources to benefit others

By Kelsey DeClue / Photos by Andrew Laker

Giving Circles are cropping up all over the nation, and now the philanthropic trend has hit Bartholomew County — specifically its female population.

A giving circle is a group of individuals who pool their resources and funds to donate to their community. The group decides as a unit how to delegate the combined funds.

“Women’s giving circles seem to be the most popular,” said Lisa Shafran, president of the newly formed Women’s Giving Circle of Bartholomew County.

It consists of women interested in donating their resources to women’s and children’s issues in the area. It is that common bond that brings them together. The members differ in ages, careers, family life and financial background.

“I am so impressed with this community that a wide variety of us, from all parts of

october 2010 • she magazine

our lives, have been brought together for this very common goal we all share,” said member Patty Hannasch.

The members are quick to note that strength in numbers allows for greater impact. Each member of the women’s giving circle is asked to donate at least $100, and as the group grows so will its contributions.

Seventy-five percent of each $100 donation is made immediately available for community grants. The remaining 25 percent is put into an endowment fund for future use.

page 17

The Women’s Giving Circle of Bartholomew County goes by the motto, “Ordinary Women with Extraordinary Impact.”

“Columbus has a long history of residents with deep pockets,” said member Valerie Chowning. “But there are a lot of people out there who don’t have quite the means but still want to give to their community. This gives those women the chance to connect with other women to have a little piece in that.”

Chowning said the circle is the perfect way for younger community members to give back.

With her children now in school, member Sarah Beck joined the circle as a way to start getting back into community involvement.

“Plus, my kids will see me doing this, and it is a great example for them,” Beck said.

“I’m going to get my daughters involved.”

Donations can also be made on someone’s behalf, and that person can then be an honorary member, such as a mother donating on behalf of her mother or daughter.

“It would also make a great gift,” Shafran said.

Members and potential members mingle at the Women’s Giving Circle “Chicks with Checks” kickoff in September.

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Each winter the group will make grant applications available to organizations that work with women and families in the county. A grant committee will review the applications and present those that meet the criteria to the group. Each spring the circle will vote, with each member getting one vote, on which grants to accept. Heritage Fund — the Community Foundation of Bartholomew County administers the funds.

The giving circle has been growing since January and hosted its first informational session, called Chicks with Checks, for other women last month. It plans to have a Facebook page, and members can sign up on the Heritage Fund’s website.

“It is about women banding together to fill a need,” said member Tracy Souza.

“And it’s fun.”

For more information on the Women’s Giving Circle of Bartholomew County visit heritagefundbc.org.

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Columbus’ current top model is always in fashion on the runway Compiled by Kelsey DeClue / Submitted photos

track), that hung in the Central gym until it was demolished. It now hangs in my living room. As far as I know, that record still stands, and I continue to run almost every day.

SHE: How did you get into modeling?

McGOVERN: Modeling came to happen by accident.

SHE: Tell us about your childhood and I was just out of IU, living in St. Louis, growing up in Columbus. and I went on a run with my dog at a loMcGOVERN: I moved to Columbus cal park. It just so happened that while in when I was 8 years old from Pennsylvania. the midst of our run, we were stopped, I’m always asked where I am from, and and I realized at that moment we had run my answer usually is, “Born in Hershey, through a photo shoot.

The photographer and his assistant apPennsylvania, but did most of my growing up in Columbus, Indiana — a wonderful, proached me, as I stood there with my little architectural gem in south central hair raggedly pulled on top of my head, sweaty in my running tights, and they told Indiana.”

I now consider Chicago my home as I me that they wanted to shoot me. I had have been here just about 12 years, but my a very handsome blue-eyed husky, named hometown will always be Columbus. It is Cody, and as I’ve not always been the unfortunate that I don’t get back much, sharpest tool in the shed, I thought they although my mom, Sande Hummel, still meant my dog.

But it was me they were referring to, and lives there. I do get back at least one time a year to do the Foundation for Youth Co- that’s how my career began. I signed with lumbus Triathlon. a local agency in St. Louis, which I’m no As a little girl, I remember swimming at longer with, and immediately came to the FFY and Donner Park, ice skating at Chicago, where I’ve now been modeling Lincoln Center, playing tennis at Tipton for 13 years.

Lakes (I played at East High School), and SHE: Describe what kind of modeling playing volleyball at the old Central Mid- you do. What are your favorite types of gigs? dle School and East as well.

McGOVERN: I have been fortunate My mom gave me a Christmas present about three years ago — the original enough to be represented by two of the record, set for the 1600-meter relay (in best names in modeling, Ford and Elite.

Editor’s note: Columbus native Colleen McGovern is making it big in the modeling industry, but she hasn’t forgotten her small-town roots. I sat down for a little e-mail correspondence with the extremely busy beauty and gained some insight into the world of high fashion.

october 2010 • she magazine

page 21

From top: Best friend Jeff, with friends at Chicago’s Elvis is Alive 5k and with P a g e 2 2 SHE m a g a z i n e • o c t o b e r 2 0 1 0 fashion designer Diane Von Furstenberg.

I have been with Elite Chicago, now called Factor Model Management, for five years and have had one of my most successful years to date.

You would think at age 36 my career would be slowing down, but I have regular catalog clients that keep me busy shooting out of town almost every week. I still also do an amazing amount of runway, specifically for Neiman Marcus and Saks Fifth Avenue, and I model a lot of Armani, Lafayette 148, Dolce & Gabbana, Gucci, Piazza Sempione, Diane Von Furstenburg, St. John, etc.

I just had the pleasure last week to talk with Donna Karan, whom I have modeled for for some time, and she is celebrating 25 years of designing for her own label.

Now, you might think that all the designer clothes would be the best, but give me shoes and give me jewelry, and you’ll really know what I love!

I get to model for Manolo Blahnik. Yes, I get paid to wear his shoes, just as I have in the past gotten paid to wear Jimmy Choo on “Oprah.”

How cool is it to get paid to play dressup? Yeah, pinch me. But the best, you ask?

Modeling jewelry, especially for Tiffany’s.

Last fall for the opening of the Nature of Diamond exhibit at the Field Museum here in Chicago, I was fortunate to wear a one-of-a-kind, $10 million flawless diamond necklace.

Prior to that I have modeled yet another one-of-a-kind necklace Paloma Picasso designed for her anniversary with Tiffany & Co. — an outstanding tanzanite necklace that is virtually priceless, but I would say in the millions if sold.

You’re probably wondering if I do get to keep any of what I model, and the answer is … I’m not telling, but I get a great discount!

Besides print and runway, I love shooting films and commercials. I have appeared in commercials for Miller, Budweiser, Sears, Delta, Marsh, Meijer and the films “High Fidelity” and “Carpe Millennium.”

Most recently I shot a commercial for Chevy where I was literally cast to run. It’s unbelievable to me that I get paid to do something for eight hours that I already love.

As for TV, I have appeared on every one of Oprah’s “Favorite Things” shows.

Shooting at her studio is quite awesome;

The Holidays are approaching

the end result is always amazing. I also have appeared on ABC, NBC, FOX and WGN for live fashion segments.

SHE: What are some life experiences the world of modeling has offered you?

McGOVERN: When I began modeling, my goal was to just be a working model.

I never pictured myself in the ranks of the illustrious supermodels, and I think that that perspective has kept me quite grounded. I believe now that so many people associate modeling with celebrity, and yes, I have stood shoulder to shoulder with Nicole Kidman, Martin Short, Katie Couric, Natalie Cole, Diane Von Furstenburg, Heidi Klum and Tim Gunn. (He’s one of my favorites. I’ve modeled for him for years, and he is just as nice as can be.

What you see on “Project Runway” is exactly who he is. I can’t say enough wonderful things about him.)

Speaking of “Project Runway,” I’ve been a model for designers auditioning for the show, but it never really appealed to me to be on the show. And while we’re on reality TV, I’ve been asked three times to be “The Bachelorette” and have politely declined every single time.

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I know that there are women who would jump at this in a nano second, but it’s just not my cup of tea. Finding true love, getting a proposal and exposing my family on TV seems so unattractive/unreal to me.

But when I began modeling, we were all in it to work and work hard. I am from a different genre of models who now look at the new, fresh faces with a bit of detachment. I think that there is now more than ever a sense of entitlement that just because you are beautiful you don’t have to work, which is wrong in my book.

There is a work ethic that comes with this job if you want to last. You show up prepared, on time, don’t complain about your hair and makeup if you don’t like it, keep all opinions to yourself and do the job.

That’s what a client will remember when they have to book a model: “Was she a pain or was she great to work with?”

I say it’s 50/50 — it’s 50 percent looks and 50 percent personality — that will bring you back. I may not be the most beautiful girl that a client could hire, but if they want a hardworking and nice model, I’m usually a client’s pick.

SHE: Tell us about an average day in your life.

McGOVERN: I’ll give you my day today — got up, went on a run. In an hour I have to leave to do a runway show at Neiman Marcus for the general manager’s luncheon.

Immediately following, I will model Armani Collezioni for an hour, get a break for an hour, then go straight into hair and makeup for a runway show for Fashion’s Night Out — one of the biggest nights in fashion. Fit the clothes and shoes that have been pulled for me, all designer no less, walk the runway and that concludes my day.

Hopefully I’ll wrap with a glass of wine or beer. Tomorrow I get up, go on a run and then I model for Armani for three hours and then leave for Indy to celebrate my nephew’s 9th birthday.

As for a day in print — I get up at about 4:45 to 5 a.m. (I sometimes have my mom give me a wakeup call since she’s up at the crack of dawn), shower, get on the road and drive to Milwaukee. Get into the studio, sit in hair and makeup for about an hour and 15 minutes, then get on set and shoot up to 47 different outfits, at least 22 frames taken per each outfit, and then drive home around 4 to 4:30 p.m. to sit in Chicago traffic, which puts me home around 6:45 p.m.

This is not easy. And when you are tired, Page 26

when you are mentally and physically exhausted from shooting so much, you just keep going knowing your bed is there waiting for you.

And in the midst of all of this, castings and bookings are coming at you via e-mail, phone calls for TV, print and runway. It is my responsibility to contact my agents with any conflicts as I am represented by agencies all over the U.S. If it does get too hectic, I’ll have one agent in Chicago be responsible for holding my chart and make the best decisions for me on what bookings I will and will not take.

“I never pictured myself in the ranks of the illustrious supermodels, and I think that that perspective has kept me quite grounded.”

McGovern rafting down the Pacuare River in Costa Rica

I will admit to being a control freak, so it’s rare that I let someone else take my bookings for me. I like to make those decisions.

SHE: What is something that comes with a career in modeling that most people wouldn’t realize?

McGOVERN: This job is so unpredictable. I can be talking to you now and get a call that I have to catch a flight to Miami for a shoot in the morning, and that would wipe out all my weekend’s plans.

I can have up to three or four different bookings a day, or I could not have one for

october 2010 • she magazine

page 27

Left: McGovern and boyfriend, Scott, after surfing in Costa Rica. Right: McGovern next to “the biggest palm leaf I’ve ever seen.”

Opposite page: With her sister, Erin Galloway, and nephew, Griffin, in Egypt

a week. We have busy season, which we are in now through December, where I will be working nonstop, and then all the sudden it comes to a screeching halt. It’s not only time management, but financial management.

I have to be able to plan at least three months ahead fiscally for me to feel secure. I do have a hard time taking days off or vacation. I took off over 24 days in July and went to a friend’s wedding and immediately left for a vacation in Costa Rica. I haven’t done that in over seven years.

And the hard part about being away was knowing the bookings I missed. Do I actually take time to live or do I kick myself for missing work? That is my biggest struggle.

I have put my personal life and wants second to my career, as it could be over in a flash. I am getting better at trying to balance that because there are certain things I do want, such as marriage and a family, and time is not necessarily on my side with that.

I would consider it a massive success if I had children before the age of 40, and it may not be in the cards. I can’t regret that I’ve taken a career and made it into something fulfilling for me.

I love what I do and am so fortunate.

SHE: What are some of the most difficult

realities of being a model? How do you deal with these struggles?

McGOVERN: You must have very thick skin. And that skin must be good and clear, at that.

I have had auditions in New York where I have been ripped to shreds. It’s like you aren’t even a human being.

Casting for jobs is difficult. You never know what auditioners are looking for, and you just have to go in with a smile and take whatever they tell you. You can cry afterward.

It’s tough because you are being judged 100 percent on your physical appearance, and it is not easy to hear criticism.

There are some auditions that you think you totally blew and you are surprised when the booking comes through, and you sit and laugh. This industry is totally unpredictable, and you only get paid if you work.

Measurements. Ugh. A model is never judged on her weight. It’s the measurements that count. Ideally you want to be a 34-24-34, that is bust-to-waist, waist-tohip ratio. I am a 32-24-36 right now. This is why I run every day; this is why girls have eating disorders. The beauty industry is quite ugly, and unfortunately, models will always have to be skinny unless you are a

plus-size model.

Dating. It’s so hard. I think models are intimidating because of our height and appearance. Add on top of that a girl who is smart and witty, and it’s usually a dangerous combination.

Very rarely do I have men approach me.

I met my boyfriend through a college buddy. It’s a lot easier if you have a referral from a friend. It’s also quite hard sometimes to maintain a relationship.

Up until this afternoon I hadn’t seen my boyfriend in five days. My schedule next week is crazy, and I will be lucky if I see him more than two times.

My priority is my job, then everything else — family, boyfriend, friends, social life. It all suffers, and I have not been able to find a good balance over the last 13 years, even though I think I’m getting better at it.

SHE: What are some stereotypes about models and modeling, and how would you set them straight?

McGOVERN: Over 80 percent of the girls I model with have gone to college.

There are some massively smart women that I work with on a daily basis.

We are not all dumb and pretty. We can

P a g e 2 8 SHE m a g a z i n e • o c t o b e r 2 0 1 0

have some very heated debates politically and socially while waiting to do a runway show.

Not all runway models are print models.

Not all print models are runway models.

Not all models are actors. I happen to be among a handful of girls who do it all at my agency.

It’s much better to be diversified, yet not everyone can do this. I can’t tell you what makes me different. I just happen to fit what all those different agents are looking for. I did not grow up wanting to model, nor act.

All of this had to be learned. I began watching models move on set during a shoot, and I copied what they did. I took classes to learn how to walk. Every runway model has a different walk, as we are all built differently.

It is very rare that an agency takes a model that is under 5’8”. For runway, I am one of the shortest models in this city at 5’9”.

Height helps the clothing, as samples are usually a size 2 and were fit to a model that was 5’10” or taller.

For print, it is difficult to be over 5’10”.

The hemlines are fit to someone who is around 5’9”. Samples of the clothing are

usually between a size 6 and 8, and we are always pinned to make sure the clothing looks like it fits.

SHE: So with what little free time you have, what do you like to do?

McGOVERN: I began playing hockey on a women’s travel league here in Chicago about nine years ago, but due to my schedule, it’s a little hard to get on the ice these days.

I also play volleyball on the beach in Chicago every summer and am out on the tennis courts when I have the time. It’s nice to get that cross training in for triathlons, which I began doing in 2008.

So I’ll just continue to keep doing what I do and keep traveling. Yes, I have had some awesome vacations in the last three years, specifically with my sister, Erin Galloway, where we have gone to Egypt, Bahrain,

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page 29

Special series

P a g e 3 0 SHE m a g a z i n e • o c t o b e r 2 0 1 0

Skinny Jeans contestants begin their three-month quest

By Kelsey DeClue / Photos by April Knox october 2010 • she magazine

page 31

P a g e 3 2 SHE m a g a z i n e • o c t o b e r 2 0 1 0

Their pink shirts radiated from the back corner of the training area at Tipton Lakes Athletic Club.

The four women hustled to complete each move as trainer Ian McGriff encouraged them, perfecting their techniques as they went.

There were a few grunts, a few moans and the occasional ‘do we have to?’ look. But through the sweat there were also a lot of smiles and plenty of laughs.

The Skinny Jeans kickoff party on Sept.15.

The She Wants in Her Skinny Jeans contestants officially started their quests for healthier lifestyles last month. For the duration of the contest, sponsored by Zeller Insurance, Sun Kiss Tanning, Wellspring Pain Solutions, Vascular Partners, Bartholomew County Beverage, Renner Motors and Max Henry M.D., each of the 12 women meets with McGriff twice weekly, once for a workout and once for nutrition coaching.

The contest ends Dec. 15, and the top three winners are chosen on total body fat loss.

“Skinny jeans are simply a calling to action for these women. If they didn’t truly want to become better, they wouldn’t have applied for the contest,” McGriff said.

“Our self-image impacts every other area of our lives. When we feel better about october 2010 • she magazine

ourselves, when we fit into our skinny jeans, we can create fantastic results in every area of our life.

“They deserve every opportunity to create a great life.”

Contestants Laurie Turner, Kim Goins, Annie Romine and Jessica Mosier attended the first official group session with McGriff on Sept. 21. The four learned how to execute the basic moves in a couple of workouts he designed for them.

The women started by learning how to use the TRX system, which incorporates suspension band training that uses the individual’s body weight to strength train.

“The thing I love about TRX is that you’re working your core the entire time, no matter what move you’re doing,” McGriff ex-

page 33

Above: Contestants and families gather before the kickoff party.

Below: Kim Wischmeier signs the contest oath, and Jessica Mosier completes medicine ball squats.

P a g e 3 4 SHE m a g a z i n e • o c t o b e r 2 0 1 0

plained as they attempted their first set of TRX push-ups.

Many of the moves work to incorporate multiple muscle groups at the same time, maximizing calorie burn and allowing for the results of a full-body workout in a shorter amount of time.

Turner, Goins, Romine and Mosier especially had “fun” with the cable chop, during which they hold a medicine ball and slam it toward the ground as if they were chopping wood, and seated medicine ball twist.

“Man, I really feel that,” Turner said, as she executed a cable chop. “Even in my hamstrings.”

“I’m excited. I’m excited,” Mosier said, at the end of the workout. “I want to know it all right now, but I know I have to be patient.”

A few days before the first training session, the contestants and their friends and fami-

“Our self-image impacts every other area of our lives. When we feel better about ourselves, when we fit into our skinny jeans, we can create fantastic results in every area of our life.”

—Ian McGriff lies gathered on the tennis court at TLAC for an official kickoff of the challenge. The women received their pink T-shirts and a packet containing exercise moves, lists of healthy food choices, explanations of how the body builds muscle and burns fat, and motivational worksheets, all catered to the female body and mind.

“We developed an incredibly intricate format for their 14 weeks with us,” McGriff said. “From Day 1 to the finale, they have a plan on paper that they signed an agreement to stick to. This way we made sure that we did everything we could to allow them to be as successful as they could be.”

At the kickoff, TLAC clients also gave heart-warming and motivating testimonials about their weight-loss experiences with McGriff. Contestants received a few

october 2010 • she magazine

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inside tips regarding the workouts coming their way.

“It’s gonna hurt,” said TLAC client Amy Mueller. “But that’s OK. Do what Ian tells you to do, and soon you’ll learn to love that feeling.”

Contestants have been granted unlimited access to Tipton Lakes Athletic Club until the contest ends.

On the days they don’t meet with McGriff, many of the women coordinate times to work out with each other, putting in time on the cardio machines or attending TLAC classes.

“I want to get my body back,” Turner said.

The mother of two was in superior shape as a teenager. “I’m already starting to see a difference in my waist.”

P a g e 3 6 SHE m a g a z i n e • o c t o b e r 2 0 1 0

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shape - up

By Ian McGriff Patience is a virtue. A virtue that I am helping the 12 women in the Skinny Jeans Contest develop.

I knew that they would be eager and want as much information as possible, hence the manual I created. However, I did not realize that I needed to have every bit of information ready to give them on Day 1. It has been an awesome experience thus far, and it’s just getting started.

We have covered so much material and information already, and we still have a lot to do. From our first workouts to our nutrition breakdowns and grocery store tours, we have been arming these women with the knowledge and know-how to develop good habits and lifestyle choices that will last a lifetime.

So how can their success be yours as well?

Follow us along throughout this contest and start on your own as well. Perhaps you applied and weren’t picked, or maybe you thought about how you want to make a change for yourself.

There’s no better time than right now.

Make the most of today. Putting it off till tomorrow, till Monday, or “next month when things settle down” is just a way of saying I won’t.

What’s wrong with right now? What’s wrong with today? You will never get this moment back, so let’s make some magic happen.

First, just start moving. I’ve had people say to me, “I’ll come and work out with you after I’ve lost a few pounds.” That’s like saying you’ll go to the doctor after you start feeling better.

Come on, get moving! It doesn’t have to be a lot at first. It also doesn’t have to be at 5 a.m.; just find the time to fit in 15 minutes at first and build progressively from there.

Little by little a house is built, little by little a family is made, little by little we become who we are. Take it one step at a time, and

soon you will be able to do more and more.

Second, tell someone what you want to achieve. Do you want to fit into a jean that’s a size smaller? Tell a friend, a family member, someone who is going to hold you accountable and encourage you to do your best.

Maybe you’ll inspire them to do something for themselves as well. If they laugh at you when you tell them, they probably aren’t a very good friend. That’s a hard truth to realize, but anyone who is going to make you feel bad about what you want in life doesn’t have your best interest at heart.

Find those people who love and support you no matter what, share your dreams with them and ask for their help. When you have someone to answer to — to hold you responsible — you get much better results, and they become a larger, stronger part of your life.

Third, be a devoted learner. Try to learn a little bit more about your new efforts every day. Do you want to walk in a 5K, run a half marathon, be able to ride a roller coaster again? Whatever it is, take the time to learn a little bit more about it every day.

How can you prepare yourself for your task? How can you get into better condition and get your mind sharper for your task? What can you consume to fuel your body better? Proper preparation produces peak performances.

Fourth, don’t play it safe. When we play safe, we play scared. When we throw ourselves into something fully, we expect to win and accept nothing but success. When you commit, truly commit, you don’t allow yourself to back out and revert to your old ways.

If you are at least moving, you can always figure out where you want to go later. Take action and commit. You are doing it for yourself after all, not anyone else, and if you don’t take care of you, who will?

P a g e 3 8 SHE m a g a z i n e • o c t o b e r 2 0 1 0

Ian McGriff is the fitness director at Tipton Lakes Athletic Club.

Photo by April Knox

october 2010 • she magazine

page 39

cash talk

Caring for aging parents starts with talking

By Jalene Hahn Recently I had the privilege of watching four generations pick apples from a tree at their family farm.

It struck me how blessed that family is to have longevity genes. As I observed the great-grandmother delighting in her brood, I wondered how much longer she would be with them and how they would manage her care. Her mother lived to be almost 103 and lived at home alone until she was almost 100.

The woman I was observing has already been in assisted living for six years. Her savings along with her memory dwindle a little more each year. I can just imagine sometime in the future her children will be juggling the costs of nursing home care, college, saving for their retirement or longterm care, as well as day-to-day expenses.

Many families find it difficult to talk about money and end-of-life issues. It is much harder to make smart choices when there is an emergency or crisis.

Planning will allow time to research and evaluate options before you have to make major decisions.

Starting a dialogue between generations can be difficult. Understanding your parents’ preferences, resources and existing plans will help ease transitions.

“Sesame Street” always told my kids, “Asking questions is a good way to find an answer,” so ask away. Be alert to situations or comments that could open a discussion.

If you notice things out of place or something out of character, ask what’s going on. Use examples from the news.

Talk about your co-worker’s father who can’t afford his prescription drugs, or a

news story about an older person who owes more on a mortgage than her home is worth.

It may be easier for parents to open up if they think they are not the only ones dealing with a situation. Don’t try to get all of the answers at once.

Let your parents know that you care, how much their help has meant to you and that you would like to help them. Let them know your concern or curiosity is not about them not being capable, but a sharing of information and support.

The goal is for parents to provide their children with critical information, including the whereabouts of bank accounts, insurance policies and legal documents. When conversations fail, sometimes it is easier to write a letter.

You also need to plan for financial commitments you may experience as your parents age. You may not be responsible for direct care costs, but you may experience travel expenses, increased trips to

check on mom or dad, airfare and hotel if they are a distance away.

If you are the close sibling, you may have additional food and utility costs when siblings are in town. If your children are young, you may have increased child care costs. Use this as motivation to establish or keep an emergency fund available.

Women tend to be primary caregivers, and sometimes hidden costs may come in the form of time demands. How will you allocate time between caregiving, work, children and travel? Discussing expectations in advance will help reduce stress and feelings of resentment.

Jalene Hahn is a certified financial planner with Warren Ward Associates.

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Medical care decisions: What are their wishes, and who will carry them out? Who will speak for them if they can’t? Primary and secondary. Put it in writing.

Financial planning: What assets do they have and how can their assets be protected if they need expensive care?

Estate planning: Do they have all of the necessary documents (e.g., wills, trusts)? How will things be divided? Does everyone involved know the details? What about personal items—“Who Gets Grandma’s Yellow Pie Plate?” Sometimes it is the non-monetary items that cause the most resentment.

Expectations: What do you expect from your parents, and what do they expect from you? october 2010 • she magazine

page 41

cuisine

By Niesha Lofing / McClatchy Newspapers MCT photos

For football fans, weekends and Monday nights get a lot more exciting in the fall. The blitzes, the touchdowns, the cheers, the chili.

Preparing food in advance of the game is a great way to guarantee time with friends. A crockpot full of white chicken chili can be made the day before and kept warm in a slow cooker, allowing guests to serve themselves.

Or assemble a tray of green enchiladas even weeks before, freeze them and pull them out to bake right before the big game.

Need simpler? Stock up on brats and have an array of condiments, like homemade sauerkraut, for friends to choose from. Don’t get hung up on complicated hors d’oeuvres. Finger food like wings and nachos is fine, just rework them.

A menu as exciting as the game itself? That could help you score a culinary MVP.

(Additional recipes on pages 44-45)

P a g e 4 2 SHE m a g a z i n e • o c t o b e r 2 0 1 0

PEANUT BUTTER FUDGE BROWNIES Prep time: 15 minutes | Cook time: 18 to 20 minutes Makes about 18 medium-size brownies. The texture lands somewhere between fudgy and caky; remove 2 minutes earlier for slightly fudgier brownies.

A little oil or butter for the pan, if it’s not nonstick ½ cup (1 stick) butter, softened 1 cup good-quality smooth or chunky peanut butter 1 cup (packed) light brown sugar ½ cup granulated sugar 4 large eggs 1 teaspoon vanilla 1 cup unsweetened cocoa powder 1 cup unbleached white flour ¼ teaspoon salt (omit if using salted peanut butter) 1¼ cups semisweet chocolate chips ½ cup finely chopped peanuts (optional) Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Lightly grease a 9-by-13-inch pan (unless it’s nonstick).

Cream together the butter, peanut butter and sugars in a medium-large mixing bowl with an electric mixer at high speed. Turn the speed down to medium and add the eggs, one at a time, and the vanilla, beating well after each. Stir in the remaining ingredients and mix by hand until everything is uniformly blended.

Spread the batter in the prepared pan and bake on the center rack of the oven for 18 to 20 minutes, or until the top feels firm and a toothpick inserted all the way into the center comes out with just a few crumbs attached.

Cut into squares while still hot, but let them cool in the pan for at least 30 minutes before serving.

Serve warm, at room temperature or cold.

october 2010 • she magazine

page 43

WHITE CHICKEN CHILI Prep time: 15 minutes | Cook time: 50 minutes | Serves 8 to 10 1 tablespoon butter, more if needed, 1 tablespoon olive oil, more if needed 5 boneless, skinless chicken breasts (about 2 pounds), ½ teaspoon salt or to taste ½ teaspoon pepper or to taste, 2 large onions, chopped 8 tablespoons unsalted butter, divided use, ¼ cup all-purpose flour, ¾ cup chicken broth 2 cups half and half, 1 teaspoon Tabasco, 1½ teaspoons chili powder 1 teaspoon ground cumin or to taste, One 15- to 16-ounce can white beans Two 4-ounce cans whole mild green chilies, drained and chopped 1½ cups grated Monterey Jack, ½ cup sour cream Heat a large skillet over moderately high heat and put in some butter and oil. Meanwhile, coat the chicken with salt and pepper and maybe some chili powder. Place chicken breasts in the skillet and resist the urge to turn them over. Leave them for five minutes, or until nicely browned, then flip them. Brown the other side, then flip them every few minutes until they are cooked through and no pink remains.

Remove the chicken from the pan. When the chicken is cool enough to handle, shred it with your fingers and set aside.

While waiting for chicken to cool, cook the onion in the same pan with 2 tablespoons of butter until softened.

In a heavy pot large enough to hold all the ingredients, melt remaining 6 tablespoons of butter over moderately low heat and whisk in flour. Cook the roux, whisking constantly, for three minutes. Stir in the onion and gradually add the broth and half and half, whisking the whole time. Bring mixture to a boil and simmer, stirring occasionally, 5 minutes, or until thickened. Stir in Tabasco, chili powder, cumin, salt and pepper. Add beans, chilies, chicken and cheese, and cook over moderately low heat, stirring occasionally, for 20 minutes. Add sour cream. May be served immediately or the next day.

CHUNKY BEAN DIP Prep time: 25 minutes | Makes about 12 cups One 15-ounce can black beans, One 15-ounce can pinto beans One 11-ounce can yellow corn 1 small purple onion, chopped One 4-ounce can sliced black olives 1 yellow bell pepper & 1 orange bell pepper, cored and chopped One 16-ounce jar salsa, 2 tomatoes, chopped, 1 avocado, chopped Salt and pepper, to taste Drain and rinse black beans, pinto beans and corn. Combine in a large bowl. Add onion, olives and yellow and orange pepper and salsa and stir gently to coat. Refrigerate overnight.

Before serving, add tomato and avocado, and season with salt and pepper.

P a g e 4 4 SHE m a g a z i n e • o c t o b e r 2 0 1 0

CHELSEA’S BLACK BEAN AND ROASTED CORN SALSA Prep time: 45 minutes | Makes about 9 cups 2 ears corn, husks removed, 6 vine-ripened tomatoes 1 Walla Walla onion, 2 to 3 jalapenos, ½ bunch of fresh cilantro Two 15-ounce cans black beans, rinsed and drained well, Juice from 1½ limes Salt (may substitute Johnny’s Seasoning Salt instead), Pepper Wrap ears of corn in foil and grill until plump. Remove foil and grill a little longer to give kernels a smoky flavor. Set aside and let cool.

Chop tomatoes and onion so they are about the same size as the corn kernels and combine in a large bowl. Drain excess liquid from bowl, if any.

Remove seeds from the jalapenos and finely chop (wear gloves). Add to bowl.

Cut corn off cobs and add to bowl.

Add cilantro, black beans, lime juice and salt and pepper to taste.

GREEN ENCHILADAS Prep time: 40 minutes | Cook time: 45 minutes Serves 6 to 8 Note: The enchiladas can be prepared the night before, refrigerated, and baked up to 24 hours later. They also may be frozen before baking. Simply defrost in refrigerator, or add about 30 to 40 minutes to cook time.

One 16-ounce or 20-ounce can green enchilada sauce, mild or medium 1 pound cooked chicken, shredded, without skin or bone (store-bought rotisserie chicken is fine) ¾ pound pepper Jack cheese, shredded One 12-ounce container sour cream 1 cup milk 10 to 15 flour tortillas One 4-ounce can mild green chilies, diced Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Take all ingredients out and form an assembly line near the stove and place an empty plate and a lasagna pan on the counter.

Arrange the following ingredients near the plate: enchilada sauce, chicken, cheese, sour cream, green chilies.

Spread about ½ cup of enchilada sauce, or enough to coat, in the bottom of the lasagna pan.

In a skillet big enough to fit a tortilla, warm the milk over low heat (but don’t let it scorch; it should just be warm to the touch).

Run one tortilla through the warm milk and then place it on the plate. Spread a small palmful of chicken, about ¼ cup, toward the top of the tortilla and top with a sprinkling of cheese and a dollop of sour cream. Wrap up the tortilla like a burrito and place in the lasagna pan. Repeat these steps until the pan is full.

Top with enchilada sauce enough to cover the tortillas, but not so much that they’re swimming in sauce (you may have sauce left over). Sprinkle the remainder of the cheese on top of the enchiladas and top with green chilies.

Cover the pan with foil and bake for 45 minutes. october 2010 • she magazine

page 45

view

mars

By Daniel Schuetz

P a g e 4 6 SHE m a g a z i n e • o c t o b e r 2 0 1 0

I would like to take this opportunity to tell you about some very nice things that I have done over the last several months. Oh, I know it may seem a bit immodest to engage in such self-congratulatory behavior.

If I don’t tell you about it though, how else will you know what a swell fellow I’ve been?

You may be wondering how Mrs. View From Mars puts up with me. I often wonder about this, myself. Trust me, though.

Once she finds out about this, she will be so … well … angry and embarrassed, probably. However, you are assuming that she reads what I write.

But you! Yes, you, faithful reader! You can now read and judge for yourself just how magnanimous I have been.

In no particular order: • I borrowed gasoline for my lawn mower from my neighbor without asking (come to think of it, Bill may not even know about this … so … “Thanks, Bill”).

• I allowed a practical stranger to give me a ride to work.

• I indulged one of my younger siblings in buying me a beer and one in giving me a bottle of wine.

• I permitted several of my friends to listen to my pointless whining about something-or-another.

• I accepted a variety of completely undeserved gifts from a couple of different people.

Now, I know what you are thinking: “Yes, you are super-nice. But did you have to be so … so … boastful?”

This is a common reaction, and I understand your point. Maybe the reporting of such gestures ought to be left to the beneficiary. I should have filled this space with quotes from my neighbor such as: “Heckuva guy — he barged right in like he owned the place and took stuff without asking!”

Obvious, right? Except for the biggest jerks among us, I would guess that most of us derive some pleasure from helping out a friend or loved one — sometimes even a stranger. Here’s the thing, though: If we never accept … then no one ever gets to give.

I know that my neighbors want me to feel free to borrow certain things without asking, and they know that they are free to do the same. It is a wonderful level of trust and friendship that should be exercised. If no one ever acts on it, it is a mere formality.

Accepting a ride? (As an aside, this was from another neighbor and not really a stranger.) This was a very generous offer — and it was indeed a great favor to me — but without the acceptance part, it was merely another missed connection.

Acquiescing to offers of lunch, drinks and the like? Receiving gifts graciously?

Opening up about one’s feelings on a particular topic? All opportunities to connect with those around us. To need and be needed. To give and to take. Critical elements of a robust and meaningful human experience.

There is a certain vulnerability to saying “yes.” Perhaps we will feel obligated or indebted. Perhaps we like to believe that we are completely self-sufficient and need no assistance. Perhaps we do not want to admit that we need something from someone else. Giving in to someone else’s generosity is part of the joy of life, I say.

Accept an invitation. Take someone up on an offer. Be a little vulnerable.

Say, “Yes, thank you, that would be great.”

Daniel Schuetz lives in Columbus with his wife and daughters. He is an attorney with Eggers Woods.

Or, perhaps, I should be kind enough to stop writing here, avoid insulting your intelligence and let you draw the conclusions. I’m not that nice, though, nor do I have the self-control to leave it at that.

Of course, the point is that one of the things that makes me feel best about myself is when I offer something to someone, and they accept my offer. I like feeling helpful, and I like doing something nice for someone else.

october 2010 • she magazine

page 47

just a

Minute Landscape logic Fall is the best time to fertilize a lawn.

However rainfall has been inadequate to take advantage of a September fertilizing as most lawns have been dormant. If your lawn has greened up in October because of adequate rainfall, you can make your application of fertilization.

If your lawn has not greened up in October, a late fall fertilizing in November is another important time to fertilize for next year’s growth.

— Extension educator Mike Ferree

Healthy habits Lunch meat is a healthy alternative to greasy burgers and fried chicken fast food, but the numerous processed, high-sodium options can make finding healthy deli meats difficult.

Boar’s Head deli meats are certified by the American Heart Association and American Diabetes Association and are low in sodium and contain no filler, no byproducts, no artificial colors or flavors, no trans fat and no gluten.

In Columbus, you can find Boar’s Head meats and cheeses at Bertie Jean’s Foods inside Dags Ice Cream in West Hill Shopping Center.

beauty bits Plump it up! Do lipsticks that promise to also plump up thin lips really work?

Yes and no. While the new lipsticks that promise to plump your lips really do work, the effect is temporary.

Here’s how it works: Some formulas use a traditional lip-plumping ingredient, such as MaxiLip, which stimulates collagen and boosts hydration. Others use ingredients that help lips retain moisture, which gives them the appearance of being fuller.

Choose a product depending on the intensity you’re looking for.

— beauty.about.com

Recommended reading “I’d Know You Anywhere,” by Laura Lippman. $25.99.

When Elizabeth Lerner was 15, she was kidnapped by a serial killer and became the only kidnap victim he did not murder. Now 23 years later he is attempting to reach her as he approaches execution hoping to twist her recollections into a version that might save him.

Eliza begins to question herself. Why was she alone saved? Did she turn into an unwilling accomplice? Did her passivity help lead to the death of another girl? Lippman goes deeply into the complicated relationship between captor and victim in this gripping novel.

— Viewpoint Books P a g e 4 8 SHE m a g a z i n e • o c t o b e r 2 0 1 0

Save the date 16th Annual Bridal Show January 23, 2011 Noon –4PM Columbus Holiday Inn

love. learn. celebrate.

To participate as a vendor, contact Kathy Burnett (812) 379-5655

Local Vendors • Planning Tips • Announcements • Wedding Style

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