2015
published by The Republic Wedding Guide 2015
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Contents 2015 The Republic Wedding Guide
Focus on flowers . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 8 The perfect dress . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 14 Avoiding regrets . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20 Importance of communication . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 22 Duties of wedding party . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 26
Calendar countdown . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 28 Budget worksheet . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 30 Comments should be sent to Doug Showalter, The Republic, 333 Second St., Columbus, IN 47201 or call 812-379-5625 or dshowalter@therepublic.com. Advertising information: Call 812-379-5652. Š2015 by Home News Enterprises. All rights reserved. Reproduction of stories, photographs and advertisements without permission is prohibited. Stock images provided by Š Thinkstock.
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Fragrant f lourishes Flowers add natural beauty to wedding celebration By Amy May Whatever time of year you have your wedding, fresh flowers make the event more joyful, bringing aroma and color to the festivities. “Flowers make such a difference,” said Eileen McCullough, a floral designer with J.P. Parker, which has shops in Franklin and Indianapolis. “It gives people something to talk about. They are fresh and pretty, and (the bridal bouquet) is in the pictures. They only last a day, but in the pictures, it’s going to last forever.” The first flowers the bride usually thinks about are the ones she will carry down the aisle. Her bouquet should reflect her personality and be complementary to the overall color scheme, florists say. “The Great Gatsby” wedding scene has ushered in a return to luxurious romantic flowers, McCullough said. “Purples and greens were hot for a while, but it’s gone back to that blush and ivory. They want soft and romantic with a little glimmer, and also vintage and classy.” Gina Martin, of Pomp & Bloom in Columbus, agreed, saying brides want a romantic look, but not necessar-
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ily wildflowers. “They are into organic and natural designs, not tight bouquets, but letting the blooms hang on their own.” White and pale pink peonies are popular, as are garden roses when they are in season, she added. She likes mixing protea, an exotic tropical flower, with garden roses to create an unexpected look. Green is still being used in bouquets but in the form of succulents, McCullough said. Echeveria is a green plant that looks like a rose. It can be mixed with the blush and ivory flowers to create a sculptured, visually interesting element. “It’s for women who want a really natural look. It creates a focal point and an organic look,” she said. Martin said green eucalyptus and brunia, a grayishgreen succulent, are also good bouquet flowers. Pam Lucas, of Amari Arrangements & Gifts in Columbus, said she is seeing all kinds of choices. “To be honest, it’s across the board. Whatever you want, go with it,” she said. “Everything from burlap and lace to peonies
and roses and hydrangeas.” The English garden look is in, she said. This is a pretty round arrangement with wrapped satin touches. She is also seeing a return of the romantic look, which includes white, blush and ivory blooms with glittery, gold touches. Brides are also asking florists to incorporate more personal items into their bouquets, such as an antique handkerchief or an heirloom piece of jewelry, Lucas said. “I really encourage the brides to be who they are and just pick what they like, something that represents who she is.”
The maids’ bouquets Bridesmaids don’t necessarily carry bouquets that are identical to the bride’s. McCullough said most brides want their flowers to be distinct from the rest of the wedding party’s, yet with complementary colors. One of her brides wanted gardenias in her bouquet, she said. The flowers are pricey, however, so she just purchased them for her own bouquet and chose complementary flowers for the rest of the party. A trend with bridesmaid dresses is to use the same fabric and designer but allow each woman to choose the style that flatters her body type, such as strapless, halter, full skirt, A-line, etc. Their flowers can also reflect their individuality, Martin said.
Setting the table After choosing flowers for herself and the attendants, the bride must consider table settings and other décor. Martin said many brides are rejecting the identical tabletop displays, opting instead to “rotate” designs. She may put tall, elaborate arrangements on some tables and simpler displays on others. This gives the room more of a “wow factor” than if all the tables were the same, she said. “The half and half works really nice when you walk into the room,” she said. Floral table arrangements can be low and wide, using a small candle and glittery or personalized accessories, or tall and thin, with long-stemmed flowers. The most important criterion is that the guests be able to see each other across the table. The “Emma” vase is popular, Lucas said. It’s a tall, cylinder vase that’s a little dressier and fits with the romantic Gatsby look. It uses water beads with gold or silver accents. “It’s real pretty when the lights hit it. It’s sparkly,” she said. She’s also seen people using cube-shaped vases on the tables.
Deck the walls Martin said flowers can also be used in hanging pots and in floral balls. She did a wedding at The Commons and was able to hang floral balls over the cake table, a spot where an arrangement would have been in the way. Lucas also uses flowers strung on a fishing line to create a hanging garland, which can go behind the bridal couple’s table to create a colorful visual backdrop that looks nice in the photos. Wedding Guide 2015
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“Hanging flowers can be done in a very different way,” Martin said. The wedding venue rules must be taken into account when choosing centerpieces and décor, she said. Some venues don’t want anything attached to the walls. Most have rules about open flames. A candle must be enclosed and/or in water. Martin said LED lights are a good substitute for candles. They come in a variety of colors, are submersible and can be used to create a variety of interesting designs. For outdoor weddings, as well as those in barns and tents, hanging garlands, flower balls and hanging votives work well. But it’s important to have a reliable water source for fresh flowers. “Hydrangeas are beautiful and popular, but they require a lot of water,” Lucas said.
Changing seasons Mother Nature can affect the floral selection, as well. Florists have to consider what’s available. They can bring in flowers from all over the world, but having to import them from South America will make them more expensive. “We can get just about anything unless something has happened with the weather,” Lucas said. Flowers with stable prices include hydrangeas, orchids and, except for a slight shortage around Valentine’s Day, roses, McCullough said. Peonies are a popular wedding flower, but they are more expensive in the late summer and fall, when they
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aren’t available locally. Gardenias are more expensive all year. The calla lily, the gold standard for an elegant wedding bouquet, is pricey at around $8 a stem. According to the wedding planning site, The Knot, Casablanca lilies, lily of the valley, tulips and lisianthus are also higher priced. Carnations and gerbera daisies are inexpensive. Decorating with more greenery and leaves is another money-saving option.
Hiring a florist Area florists say you should make an appointment as soon as possible after you have your venue selected. “We book up quick, especially for June and October,” Martin said. Lucas said she prefers six months to a year, but her shop is good about working with a person’s schedule. McCullough added that florists can work on shorter notice if necessary. “If you’re comfortable coming in a month prior to the wedding, we can work it,” she said. But with the most popular wedding months filling up fast, it’s a good idea to secure your florist’s services as soon as possible. Also, you might not be able to get the flowers you want or get them at a reasonable price, especially the popular blooms or non-local flowers that have to be shipped in, if the florist doesn’t have ample time to get them, she added. The first meeting with the florist is typically a consultation. Bring in pictures of bouquets and table settings you like. Many brides use Pinterest for helpful ideas.
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“I encourage them to look through magazines and online to get ideas and bring them with you,” Lucas said. She said she learns what the bride likes by seeing the things she picks over and over. Martin said she will remain in contact with her clients as the wedding nears, allowing for changes in the budget, new ideas, etc. The deal is usually finalized two weeks before the wedding. “I go back and forth with the brides. They come in and don’t have any idea what they want to do. This is their first major floral purchase, so we do a lot of adjusting and fine-tuning,” she said. On the day of the wedding, the florist will deliver the flowers and begin setting them up. Martin said there is often more work to do at the wedding venue than at her shop. If there are big vases of arrangements, for example, she will put them together at the venue instead of trying to transport them.
The price of perfection The average price in 2013 for wedding flowers was $2,069, according to The Knot’s annual survey, “The Knot Real Weddings Study.” Most brides, McCullough said, don’t know much about the process of ordering flowers since providing floral accents for an event is not something the average
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person does. They have no idea of the cost of various flowers and decorative accents or the labor that goes into making arrangements, delivering them and having them ready for the ceremony. So the bride-to-be may be floored by the estimate for the 25 royal-wedding style centerpieces she is considering. “They don’t know, and I don’t blame them. How would they?” McCullough said. “But if (the price) is too high, I want them to feel comfortable to call me. We can look at other options.” Those may include using different flowers, cutting down on the number of centerpieces or just making an elaborate bouquet for the bride. “Some brides are very particular; others are not that interested. We address every bride as an individual,” McCullough said. “Be flexible and open to suggestions. We want to give you the look you love within the budget. We can always work with them.” You don’t have to keep up with the Kardashians to have a memorable wedding. Choose what you like and what reflects your personality, the florists advise. Whatever the bride chooses, flowers will help make the event memorable. “The flowers add so much beauty and elegance to the wedding. Without them, it’s just stale. They’re the jewelry piece. They’re the accent,” Lucas said.
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Searching for
perfection By Cheryl Fiscus Jenkins
Trends change slowly in world of wedding dresses
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Beading, lace, sleeves and straps top wedding dress trends for 2015’s fashion-forward brides. It is a classic look with a hint of sophistication and romance after spanning a long period of trendy strapless dresses. Bridal shop owners agree an A-line style that is fitted toward the hip and flowing downward also will be popular this year, which is different from the mermaid dress that flares from the knees. Styles these days are just as beautiful from the back as they are from the front, with embellishment and detail throughout that give every part of the dress a unique look.
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Terry Kutsko, owner of That Special Touch in downtown Columbus, encourages women to have an open mind when shopping for the perfect dress. With so many options to choose from, brides-tobe can always find the most flattering fit for their shape and size. “There are so many different styles that girls can really find their own look and what works for them – what fits their body and makes them feel good,” she said. “When a girl finds the dress she likes, she kind of owns it and radiates that confidence.” Brooke Dale of Greenwood visited That Special Touch about a month after getting engaged to now husband, Kevin Dale. She felt like royalty for the day there, trying on eight dresses for her mother, sister and a bridesmaid. Her second selection, an A-line with plenty of beading and a princess neckline, stole her heart instantly, and she could tell it was a good choice from everyone’s reaction. The ivory dress with a long traditional train fit perfectly for the couple’s October ceremony at St. Bartholomew Catholic Church. Dale relied on Pinterest, friends and bridal shows for inspiration on dresses, but she kept an open mind on various styles from the start. “It was the second one I tried, and I didn’t want
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Wedding Guide 2015
to take it off,” said Dale, a second-grade teacher at St. Bartholomew Catholic School. “I tried it on again, and nothing compared to it. When you know, you know.” Jessica Limeberry, owner of Sophia’s Bridal Tux and Prom on the south side of Indianapolis, said television shows such as TLC’s “Say Yes to the Dress” can give brides an idea of what dress shopping will be like, but reality TV can also overwhelm them by promoting grandiose expectations of how friends and family will react to dress choices. She recommends brides bring a couple of people with them to shop, so not to confuse the issue with too many opinions. She also said it’s OK to have a quiet reflection on the overall look of the dress. “Some people do cry and have a reaction, and some people just think, ‘This is the one,’” she said. Limeberry said ivory is definitely the top color choice over traditional white gowns. She also sells some peachy pink, pale pink blush, champagne and gold dresses plus an oyster color, which has a grayish tone. Popular now are dresses that blend one of those hues with an ivory overlay of embellishment that makes both colors pop. “It kind of gives the dimension of having all of those fabrics underneath, but it is very rich,” she said.
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Wedding shop owners have also seen changes in tuxedo trends with the guys opting away from the traditional jacket and going more casual with a tie, vest and suspenders. Gray, tan and navy blue tuxedos have gained in popularity over traditional black. Bow ties, Limeberry said, are also in style for the men with some sporting unique plaid, polka dot and striped patterns. Grooms can show individuality with bright socks or sock patterns of argyles, stripes and geometric shapes. Bridesmaids are opting for a more mismatched look with slight variations of color or dress style. Hemlines sometimes run shorter, above the knee, with chiffon a more popular and flattering fabric than satin, said Buffy Smith, manager of Prestigious Affairs in Seymour. Wedding attire trends change subtly from year to year with high waists, long gloves and veiled hats being styles of the past and scoop backs, single layer veils and even cowboy boots as the present look. Smith said Western and hunting influence has been popular with brides in the Midwest lately as they choose cowboy boots, plus burlap and camouflage embellishment in sashes and flowers for today’s weddings.
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She has seen individuality this year with several brides wearing champagne or pale pink dresses, and two recent brides each wearing red and purple. Smith agrees the ivory vintage A-line look is still most popular among brides today, but she said the halter style and higher necklines, as seen in bridal magazines, will eventually make their way to the area. “In our area, we are about a year away from what we see in the bridal magazines,” she said, adding that not too many brides have asked for the look yet. She said brides are choosing long dresses for the ceremony with part of the ensemble detaching for the reception, and many women like the keyhole back with a slight opening. Kutsko said she can fit most brides’ budgets from $99 and up, sometimes ordering elegant bridesmaid dresses in white or ivory to save on cost. Recent bride Dale advises other brides-to-be to relish the dress shopping experience, even though it can be overwhelming, and to rely on shop stylists to find the best look. “I really didn’t know what would look good on my body,” she said, adding that Kutsko helped her find the perfect dress. “They made me feel like a princess.”
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Regrets? Brides have had a few. How to prevent them or let them go
By Nara Schoenberg n Chicago Tribune (TNS) For Holley Simons, it was the bridal party. She chose her oldest friends, including one who didn’t seem particularly enthused: “She didn’t want to participate in any of the activities the maid of honor had put together, and I just wish at the end of the day that maybe she would have been more honest with me and said she didn’t really feel like being a bridesmaid.” And then there was the newer friend who really stepped up as the wedding approached, even hosting a shower. “I didn’t think about including her in my bridal party, but looking back, I wish I could have honored her in some way,” Simons says. It’s a rare bride who doesn’t have a regret or two about her wedding, from a missed photo op, to a silly splurge, to Uncle Jerry’s unfortunate third drink. Brides, experts and online wedding forums highlight a broad range of potential pitfalls, from clumsy amateur wedding photos to overpriced venues to being so stressed out about getting the details right that you forget to savor a once-in-a-lifetime experience as it actually unfolds. Some brides regret spending too much time greeting guests, others say they wish they’d spent more time. Still, if there are no right answers, there are some general guidelines. “What I say to brides is, become clear on the three to five things that you must have correct, that must be done a specific way, and make sure that happens, and let go of the rest,” says Allison Moir-Smith, author of “Emotionally Engaged:
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A Bride’s Guide to Surviving the ‘Happiest’ Time of Her Life” (Hudson Street Press). Maybe your three big priorities are a handcrafted cake, a silk-satin designer dress and a mandatory playlist. That’s fine, but remember that the groom is also entitled to his three to five must-haves. One of the most common regrets is scrimping on photography, with blog editors saying that professionals offer real advantages over wellmeaning relatives, even for budgetconscious brides. “Unless you’re steeped in the wedding industry, you don’t realize how skilled wedding photographers are, how much time and effort and talent goes into what they do,” says Simons, an editor at Weddingbee. com. “That’s something I’ve seen time and again, brides wishing they’d put a little more money into that aspect.” Catherine Clark, an editor at Offbeatbride.com, says videography can, similarly, be a source of regret. “(Married women) see those popular wedding videos where there’s beautiful music and scenes from all the different things that happen,” she says. “They see those and they get jealous.” Wedding coordinators, who handle logistics on the Big Day, are also a hot topic at Offbeatbride.com, with some brides saying they wish they had made that investment. For roughly $250 to $750, a coordinator will function as your go-to-person, doing set-up, herding friends and relatives, and making sure the ceremony and reception run smoothly. Bridal party choices are also a
recurring theme, with Clark saying that weddings bring out strong emotions, which, in turn, can lead to tensions and rifts. Among her suggestions for brides-to-be: Choose only your closest friends of all time to be your bridesmaids, not your close pals of the moment; resist being swayed too strongly by the opinions of wellmeaning relatives, and offer your bridesmaids the chance to opt out without guilt. If a friend is, say, living far away or financially strapped, your sincere understanding will head off stress and frustration on both sides. Sometimes, newlyweds are just moving into a new stage of life and developing new friendships and, a few years down the line, they wish they had chosen different bridemaids or groomsmen. In those cases, Clark takes a philosophical approach. “It’s like getting a tattoo,” she says. “At that time in your life you wanted that tattoo and, five years later, it’s OK because it’s a marker of that time in your life. You can kind of look at your wedding party that way: ‘That’s who I was in my 20s and 30s and now I’m someone else, but I can look back fondly on that.’” Some wedding regrets are bigger than others. Paul Suggett, 40, says that he and his wife, who are now getting divorced, got married in a Colorado courthouse. He had moved to the U.S. from London to be with her and, on the advice of their lawyer, who wanted to prevent visa complications, they got married almost immediately. “It wasn’t exactly the dream wedding. My parents couldn’t be
there, because they were in England, and they couldn’t afford to fly over for a 20-minute ceremony,” he says, “so none of my family was there.” His wife had five relatives in attendance, one of whom was a screaming 2-year-old. “We’re still good friends and everything, but I think that was one of the things that set us off on the wrong track, just doing everything so rushed,” Suggett says. Other wedding regrets are almost vanishingly small. “I wish I hadn’t noticed the mistakes at my reception,” says MoirSmith. “The Porta John tent sides were up so you could see (them) from the reception site. Does anyone else who went to my wedding — 120 people twelve years ago — remember that? It’s just a ridiculous thing for me to remember from that magical day.” You can’t regret-proof your wedding, but you can take steps to ensure you fully appreciate it. Don’t
look for mistakes. Everyone is doing their best, and life isn’t perfect, she says. Enjoy the gaffes. Moir-Smith was horrified when the disc jockey played Kenny G during the cake cutting, but then she burst out laughing — a moment that yielded her best wedding photos. Share what’s special. Don’t expect
everybody to notice all your special touches. If you have friends who would get a big kick out of details like your monogrammed dance floor or handmade place cards, then tell them what to look for. “You have to ask for it — don’t be a princess expecting other people to see the details,” Moir-Smith says.
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Daily dialogue Honest conversations are integral part of all marriage planning By Greg Seiter Newly engaged couples have many decisions to make prior to getting married. But industry experts say there’s much more involved in planning a wedding beyond determining a location, selecting colors and decorations, picking out a dress and mailing invitations. “When planning a wedding, you’re planning for your hopes, vision and dreams,” said Elizabeth Mellencamp Johnson, clinical director and owner of Stillpoint Consultants in Greenwood. “A couple must determine what they want to experience and what they want their family to experience, and the challenge in pulling that off is in answering the ‘how’ questions. Those answers aren’t typically available in a standard wedding plan.” According to Johnson, communication is a key element throughout the planning process, but both the bride- and groom-to-be must also be open to seeing things from the other’s perspective.
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“When you’re in a long-term standing relationship like marriage, you’re in a long-term conversation,” she said. “You’re challenged every time you speak to have a different perspective, and it’s very important to take the other person’s views into consideration. It’s really a challenge for each person not to take a position, but that’s exactly what they must do. The real challenge is in figuring out how to stay in these conversations.” To do so, both parties must be involved in the planning process. “When I first meet with a couple, I usually ask that the groom come to at least two of the sessions,” said Marie Frey, owner of FCCI Weddings in Indianapolis. “After all, it’s his wedding too, and there are really a lot of things he can help with. When I see a couple working on everything together, from the beginning, it indicates to me that they have a good chance of making it and that
they’ll have a good marriage.” Johnson agrees. “I think guys are getting more involved because they understand this is about their home and family too,” she said. “They’re realizing their opinions count. Men are now valuing the process of the ceremony. They care about whether or not their family’s heritage will be represented.” Of course, even before the planning begins, budget should be a primary conversation point. “Sometimes, they just don’t understand how expensive things are,” Frey said. “They need to speak with a planner so they’re not shocked to find out how much a photographer and DJ is going to cost.” Johnson is also quick to point out that financial discussions are about much more than just dollars and cents. “Money in our culture also represents power, lack of power, control and lack of control,” she said. “You need to talk about how much you’re going to spend and what you’re going to spend it on. It’s a collaborative effort.” Johnson also said that unfortunately, disputes can arise when parents become monetarily involved in organizing a ceremony and reception. “When parents contribute financially to a wedding, oftentimes they feel like they have a certain degree of control over the planning process, and that should not be the case,” she said.
Interestingly enough, according to Johnson, guest seating is also a very important thing to consider when planning for things like a rehearsal or wedding dinner. “It sounds like you’re trying to create a seating chart, but it’s much bigger than that,” she said. “You’re really talking about how you will sit people so feelings won’t be hurt and how you’re going to position old, unresolved
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Preparing for the unexpected Planning for a wedding can be stressful and timeconsuming, but couples should also actively engage in conversations about their future together while considering specific marriage-related ceremonial details. “During the wedding planning process, you also have to talk about your hopes and dreams and how you plan to stay committed to one another, even when your expectations aren’t met,” said Elizabeth Mellencamp Johnson, clinical director and owner of Stillpoint Consultants in Greenwood. “How will we support one another and how will we each work to change our perspective?” According to Johnson, frequent and open conversation about the future is very important during the engagement stage. “You should talk about family planning and what will happen if an unexpected child comes along,” she said. “You also need to be prepared for tragedy and things like the loss of a job or the loss of a child.” Self-inventory must also be taken.
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“Are you prepared to be divorced? Because if you’re not prepared to be divorced, you’re not prepared to be married,” Johnson said. Money also should be a topic of discussion. “You should also determine who the spender is and who the saver is and then determine what financial security will look like in your marriage,” Johnson said. “If you don’t discuss money before you get married, you’re stupid. You have to talk about debt and savings and determine who is comfortable doing what. What will the signals be that things are OK and what will signal that they aren’t? “The bottom line is that you have to stay engaged in very courageous conversations and remember the conversation you’re having at any given moment isn’t always exactly about what’s being discussed. No matter the subject, you must have commitment, strength and perseverance to turn around and not just take the position of being right or wrong.”
Daily dialogue family issues that haven’t been discussed or resolved. Basically, you’re managing feelings.” Johnson and Frey believe the feelings of all those involved in the wedding planning process can best be managed through open and honest dialogue with selfless intent. “My daughters were married four months apart from one another, and even though they both had very nice weddings, it was hard because I couldn’t be mom and the planner all in one,” Frey said. “I always tell mothers they can’t be their daughter’s planner. It’s not going to work because they’re way too close to what’s going on. You’re going to have disagreements and hurt feelings if you try to run the show.” Johnson encountered a similar learning process when her daughter was married this past October. “I saw firsthand that it’s not just a production,” she said. “The planning process takes a tremendous commitment from the kids and their family members, and ultimately, everyone must be willing to stay in conversation throughout. “You may think you’re talking about the cake, but you’re really not, so you must be willing to listen in order to determine what’s really important. A lot of spiders will be crawling through your process. I had to stay present to my daughter, and I had to remember that it
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was her wedding.” Frey also emphasized how important it is for an engaged couple to allow for downtime as they plan for their wedding. “You need to plan for date nights and to think about what you’re going to do, as a couple, for Valentine’s Day leading up to your wedding,” she said. “Make sure you’re still spending time together, not just focusing on the wedding. You have to continue to do things as a couple.”
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Roles of wedding party
Participants Maid of Honor
A wedding can be a wonderful and memorable experience for all of those involved. That’s why you ask friends or relatives to share in the event and serve in your wedding party. Your offer is a wonderful honor, one that carries with it varying degrees of responsibility depending on the role each person will be playing. To help you decide who to ask to be in your wedding party, here is a list of titles and responsibilities for each participant’s role.
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The maid of honor is a role typically filled by a sister or a very close friend. It is the equivalent of the groom’s best man. The maid of honor’s role, therefore, is typically very involved. Among her many responsibilities, the maid of honor accompanies the bride on shopping trips for her wedding dress while also planning the bridal shower, bachelorette party and coordinating the bridal party gift for the bride. Also, the maid of honor helps the bride get dressed on her wedding day, holds the groom’s wedding ring during the wedding and may also help in the writing of invitations. The maid of honor will also typically act as a witness to the wedding and dance with the best man at the reception. If the woman you’re asking is married, her title will be matron of honor.
(Story by Metro Creative)
Best Man
Perhaps the most well-known responsibilities of the best man are organizing the bachelor party and giving the toast at the reception. But the best man, who is typically a brother or best friend of the groom, also has a slew of other responsibilities. In addition to helping the groom choose his tuxedo and get dressed before the wedding, the best man coordinates the couple’s gift from the groomsmen and takes care of the newlyweds’ transportation to the airport after the reception or the next morning. The best man may also hold onto any payment that’s due to the reception site or the donation for the house of worship, and take care of any final financial details. He also holds the bride’s wedding ring during the ceremony.
Parents of the Groom
The groom’s parents should host a rehearsal dinner prior to the wedding. They may also choose to contribute to the wedding if they desire. In most cases, the groom’s parents have limited responsibilities, but can be involved as much as the wedding couple would like. Traditionally, the groom’s mother confers with the bride’s mother on what color gown she is wearing, so as not to go with the same shade. The groom’s parents may walk down the aisle in advance of the rest of the wedding processional and take their seats.
Flower Girl
If the bride has a sister who is especially young, that sister typically fills the role of flower girl. Since most flower girls are very young, their responsibilities are generally limited to carrying a basket of flowers during the processional and, depending on the bride’s preference, tossing flower petals on the ground to mark the bride’s entrance.
Parents of the Bride
Ring Bearer
Like the flower girl, the ring bearer is a very young member of the family, only the ring bearer is a male. The ring bearer’s role is to carry a pillow with the rings sewn on it during the processional. Some couples choose to have the ring bearer and the flower girl walk next to one another during the processional.
The bride’s parents may be responsible for hosting the wedding, if they will be completely financially responsible for the event. In some cases, the father of the bride escorts his daughter down the aisle alone, but in other instances or in religious ceremonies, both parents may accompany the bride. In all cases, it’s her preference. The mother of the bride may help fund or contribute to the planning of the bridal shower if the maid of honor needs assistance. These parents may also foot the cost of an engagement party or dinner to meet the groom’s family.
Groomsmen
Groomsmen are the male equivalent of the bridesmaids, typically having nearly identical responsibilities. Sometimes, groomsmen can act as ushers for guests arriving at the ceremony. Groomsmen walk in the wedding processional and attend and help organize the bachelor party, as well.
Bridesmaids
Along with walking in the wedding procession, bridesmaids attend the shower and contribute to the bridal gifts. Bridesmaids, who are typically sisters or friends of the bride or groom, also dance with the groomsmen during the reception. To be further involved, each can be given specific roles, like reading a religious passage at the ceremony, providing assistance with choosing wedding vendors or helping to address wedding invitations.
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Countdown to the Big Day
Story by Metro Creative
To help you get a better understanding of how to plan a wedding and when you should be making certain decisions, here’s a time frame you can follow that should ensure that your wedding goes off as smoothly as possible.
10 to 12 Months Before
If you haven't done it already, this is a good time to announce your engagement and introduce your respective families. Since most reception halls and churches have busy wedding schedules, it is also important to book both as early as possible, preferably at least a year in advance of your wedding day. It's also a good idea to start putting together a guest list around this time and ask your parents whom they'd like to invite as well. Also, since your budget will determine just about every aspect of your wedding, sitting down and determining what you can spend and developing a savings plan should be first and foremost.
6 to 9 Months Before
This is the time when you want to start booking some services, such as a florist, caterer, a DJ/band and a photographer. However, some of the more experienced DJs and bands, as
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well as photographers, might have their schedules booked a year in advance, so this might be something you'll want to consider doing shortly after you get engaged and choose a date. Also, this is a good time to inform any guests who will be traveling significant distances of the date of your wedding. The earlier your guests can book a flight, the less expensive that flight will be. This is also a good time to order gowns for both the bride and bridesmaids, as some manufacturers require a few months to ship to bridal shops. You might want to ask someone, such as your priest or rabbi, to be the officiant of your wedding. And much like out-of-town guests will save travel dollars the earlier they learn of your wedding date, you will likely save money, too, if you book your honeymoon around this time.
4 to 5 Months Before
This is a good time to decide on wedding invitations, of which there are many styles to choose from. Also, now is ideal to start hunting for a wedding cake by sampling a number of different bakeries’ cakes before ultimately making a decision. Just to be sure, confirm that all of the bridesmaids have ordered their gowns and start looking for a tuxedo for the groom as well as the groomsmen. If you haven't done so already, purchase your wedding rings and let any other people you'd like to participate in your wedding (ushers,
readers during the ceremony, etc.) know of your intentions.
2 to 3 Months Before
Finalize your guest list and mail out your invitations. If your guest list includes a considerable amount of people who are spread out geographically, mail the invitations as close to 12 weeks in advance as possible. This is also a good time to finalize your menu choices for your guests, and find all your wedding accessories such as the ring pillow, candles, etc. Also, since it is tradition to provide gifts for those in the wedding party as well as the parents of the bride and groom, this is a good time to decide on and purchase those gifts. Just to be safe, confirm that all groomsmen have ordered their tuxedos and finalize all transportation, both to and from the wedding and to the airport for your honeymoon.
1 to 2 Months Before
1 to 2 Weeks Before
3 to 4 Weeks Before
The Day Before
Schedule the first bridal-gown fitting. Also finalize the readings you'd prefer during the ceremony and mail them out to anyone who has agreed to do a reading. If your family prefers to host a small gathering for close family and friends after the wedding rehearsal, the night before the wedding, this is a good time to order any food or drinks you might want to serve that night, or make a restaurant reservation.
Confirm your honeymoon arrangements and see if your wedding rings are ready. This is also when you should get your marriage license and check the guest list to see who has and hasn't RSVP'd. For those who have yet to RSVP, you might want to contact them so you can get a closer idea of what the head count will be. You should also prepare and order your wedding program around this time.
Get a final attendance count and submit it to the caterer as soon as you know of it, while also providing a final seating chart. Pick up the wedding gown and tuxedo. Make sure the wedding party picks up their attire. Also, finalize your vows and confirm all wedding-day details such as transportation, photo schedules and addresses. And don't forget to pack for your honeymoon.
This is mainly when you rehearse for the ceremony and make any final confirmations you might have to make. Also, make sure to get some sleep so you'll look good in all of your wedding-day photos.
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Wedding Budget Worksheet Ceremony
Location fee Officiant fee Marriage license Rings Pillow Total Ceremony
Reception
Reception site Food Drinks Rentals Cake Favors Total Reception
Attire
Gown Headpiece/veil Undergarments/hosiery Shoes Accessories Jewelry Makeup Hair Tuxedo Shoes Cuff links Men’s grooming Total attire
Music
Ceremony musicians Band/DJ Extra musicians Total music 30
Wedding Guide 2015
Total Wedding Budget
Flowers
Ceremony Bride’s bouquet Bridesmaids’ bouquets Corsages & boutonnieres Reception centerpieces Flower girl basket Bathroom arrangements Total flowers
Photography
Photographer’s fees Videographer’s fees Total photography
Transportation
Limousines Buses/transport for guests Total transportation
Stationery
Invitations Calligraphy Postage Thank-you cards Total stationery
Gifts
Wedding party Parents Other Total gifts
Honeymoon
Accommodations Food Total honeymoon
Wedding Guide 2015
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Wedding Guide 2015
812-375-9100 or slandwerlen@dorahotelco.com