January 2024

JANUARY 2024 | TEVET • SHEVAT 5784

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Contents

PUBLISHERS

JANUARY 2024 | TEVET • SHEVAT 5784

Mark Edelstein and Dr. Mark Moss EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

Jacqueline Bull

25

33

40

ASSISTANT EDITOR

Makayla Hoppe

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR

Eileen Sondak

CREATIVE DIRECTOR

Donna D’Angelo

SENIOR CONSULTANT

Ronnie Weisberg

CONTRIBUTING WRITERS

Features 25 A Green New Year 28 The Opera Presents Something Old and Something New 30 Ohr Shalom Hosts Discussion Series on Death, Dying

and Mourning

Emily Bartell, Linda Bennett, Leorah Gavidor, Emily Gould, Judith Fein (Senior Travel Correspondent), Paul Ross (Senior Travel Photographer), Patricia Goldblatt, Pat Launer, Sharon Rosen Leib, Andrea Simantov, Marnie Macauley, Rabbi Jacob Rupp, Rachel Eden, T.S. McNeil, Sybil Kaplan.

ADVERTISING REPRESENTATIVES

Alan Moss | Palm Springs EDITORIAL

editor@sdjewishjournal.com ADVERTISING

marke@sdjewishjournal.com CIRCULATION & SUBSCRIPTIONS

ronniew@sdjewishjournal.com

Columns 11 From the Editor | Chance and Surprise 16 Israeli Lifestyle | Hiding in Plain Sight 18 Religion | The Three Steps 20 Literature | Stranger Than Truth 42 Advice | Healthy Self-Talk for the New Year: Refuse Negativity!

Departments 12 Our Town 14 What’s Up Online 32 Local Offerings 36 Spotlight: January Happenings at the JCC 38 The News 39 Food 40 Diversions

ART DEPARTMENT

art@sdjewishjournal.com LISTINGS & CALENDAR

assistant@sdjewishjournal.com SDJJ is published monthly by San Diego Jewish Journal, LLC. Subscription rate is $24 for one year (12 issues). Send subscription requests to SDJJ, 7742 Herschel Ave., Suite H, La Jolla, CA 92037. The San Diego Jewish Journal is a free and open forum for the expression of opinions. The opinions expressed herein are solely the opinion of the author and in no way reflect the opinions of the publishers, staff or advertisers. The San Diego Jewish Journal is not responsible for the accuracy of any and all information within advertisements. The San Diego Jewish Journal reserves the right to edit all submitted materials, including press releases, letters to the editor, articles and calendar listings for brevity and clarity. The Journal is not legally responsible for the accuracy of calendar or directory listings, nor is it responsible for possible postponements, cancellations or changes in venue. Manuscripts, letters, documents and photographs sent to the Journal become the physical property of the publication, which is not responsible for the return or loss of such material. All contents ©2024 by San Diego Jewish Journal. The San Diego Jewish Journal is a member of the American Jewish Press Association and the Jewish Telegraphic Agency.

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Chance and Surprise I’m not exactly sure when or how it happened, but writing this now, I’m a plant person.

As a kid, I remember being bored when my mom would drag me to the nursery to watch her ruminate on her decisions. I remember hearing her talk to her mother on the phone about their gardens. In my teens, my dad started his own garden as well with herbs and tomatoes.

There were a few summers in my high school years I spent bent over picking strawberries in the hot sun. (In those days, I was sleeping through the cooler morning hours.)

By the time I was living on my own, I tried my hand at keeping some succulents as houseplants and failed miserably. They are decidedly unsuited for the Michigan climate — even inside. I’m not sure what spurred the switch from disinterest to interest, but if I had to guess it would be that experiencing the gray walls and commutes of office culture made me crave life and color. (I also took up painting as a hobby during that time.)

The flora was one of the things that initially made me fall in love with San Diego. I think I was worried California would be the desert color palette of Arizona and I would miss the green of new leaves. My first time visiting here was after a big rain that broke a long drought and everything looked lush, happy and vibrant. Walking around you could almost feel joy radiating from the palms in the fresh air.

While I still have the occasional casualty, I’ve grown considerably in my skill for looking after plants. So much so, that actually I’m the first call in my friend group for vacation plant care or advice. (I also happily receive updates from my dad about the trees and shrubs we planted together.)

This summer, I had a pest fly on my two new additions. At one point, I was checking them twice a day and cleaning the eggs and flies off with peroxide. Sadly, I was too late and couldn’t save them. A few weeks after I had recycled them I saw the same white spots on another plant and my heart sank. This dense fern was the perfect hiding spot for the tiny bugs. I knew the only chance to get all the bugs was to cut it off at the soil and have faith

that maybe the roots had enough stored energy to send up new sprouts. I cut the plant down completely, checked the roots for bugs and waited.

In the meantime, I was trimming the excess growth of my Jade bonsai and thus had a lot of leaves that were perfectly healthy, but needed to be removed from the main plant so it would continue to get taller. I had tried (and failed) to propagate Jades and other succulents dozens of times at that point, but decided to give it another shot.

I filled an empty egg carton with soil, arranged the leaves and accepted that most of them may not propagate or maybe none of them would. In my daily plant care, I have one that benefits from humidity and daily misting, so I started misting the jades, too.

One day I saw little roots sprouting from one of the jades and then another day I saw a new leaf on a bigger piece. I’m not sure how long it took because I had resigned that I would back off and see how they did without obsessive observation and hoping. I have kept misting them and they have kept growing. Now some are big enough to re-pot and gift.

And then one day I saw a tiny green speck in my fern that I had cut away. A couple days after that there was a second green speck. And then there was, unmistakingly, a few tiny green sprouts of new growth.

There is the obvious metaphor for faith here; sometimes when you think something is hopeless or dead it can flourish again. What I was left with thinking was not faith or hope, but humility.

I’m not sure why this time my propagations worked or why my fern had fight left in it. Sometimes you do things the exact same way and get different outcomes; this happens with missing data, but also happens in the realm of chance. We are not omniscient and so when we create an opportunity to be surprised by good, it can happen.

Tevet – Shevat 5784 SDJEWISHJOURNAL.COM | 11

Our Town

by Linda Bennett and Emily Bartell

Did you know that the comic book industry was invented

by Jews? We recently attended the Mandelbaum Family Lecture Series at the Coronado Public Library, sponsored by the San Diego Center for Jewish Culture, on Nov. 15.

What a fascinating lecture presented by Isaac & Rabbi Shawna Brynjegard-Bialik, giving us a revealing history of comic books and the historical trends and Jewish traditions that are part and parcel to the comic book history timeline. Others enjoying this fun presentation were Sunny & Frank Borkat, Elaine Cohen and Stan Hoffman, Mickey & Ron Zeichick, Bill Sperling, Jean & Bill Seager, Jane Zeer, Arlene Berger, Bill, & Judy Friedel and David Friedel.

Wow! What a night, indeed! We had the most enjoyable time at “An Evening with Al Franken” on Nov. 16 in the Garfield Theatre at the JCC. The theater was jampacked with so many fans in attendance. Interviewed by Jared Arrons (Channel 10), Al Franken was absolutely delightful, discussing his vast career in comedy and politics, his writings and years of community service.

Some of those we ran into were Ken Bender, Shelli & Bob Bushman, Linda & Steve Luttbeg, Lauri & Mark Spiegler, Sharon Resnick, Ruthi Warburg, Amy & Adam Jacobs, Vivien Ressler, Rochelle & Paul Treger, Nancy & Alan Spector and Dick Eger.

The 2024 San Diego International Jewish Film Festival Midseason Film Screening took place on Nov. 30 at the JCC. The screening that evening was a romantic comedy called, “Matchmaking.” Some of the many SDIJFF supporters we saw in attendance were Seth Krosner, Angela & Harris Steinberg, Itzik Rief, Bobbi & Steve Laufer, Linda & Larry Okmin, Andrea Ladmer and Bob

12 | SDJEWISHJOURNAL.COM January 2024

Silverman, Renee Zoffel, Judy Rubinstein and Sharon & Nat Koren.

On Dec. 2, Hadassah’s newest chapter, “Miriam,” held their first Hanukkah Party. It was really well done! The food, decorations and the overall joy shared by all was just lovely — thanks to the wonderful committee that put it all together. Some of those celebrating along with us were Ilene Miller, Ellen Zuckerman, Tamara Weintraub, Audrey Sivan, Andrea Roberts, Marjorie Mopper, Roberta Marks, Audrey Levine, Beverly Lachman, Lisa Guterman, Marcie Diamond and Shari Cohen.

Mazel Tov to Gabriella Miller on becoming a Bat Mitzvah on Nov. 4 in Seattle. Gabriella’s parents Katherine & Corey Miller along with grandparents Elise & Rabbi Jay Miller and Eugenia & Greg Zinger were beaming with pride.

Yom Huledets Sameach to...

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WHAT’S UP

Online

As antisemitism spikes across Europe, more fingers are pointing at Russia

by David I. Klein, JTA News When Stars of David began appearing on Jewish homes and institutions in Paris’ 10th arrondissement late last month, as well as on a Jewish woman’s home in Berlin, many were quick to bring up comparisons to the Nazi era.

But French authorities pointed to a surprising culprit: Russia.

According to French authorities, the pictures of the Stars of David first began to spread via a Russian-run news site called Recent Reliable News (RRN) before being found by others online. Shortly after the incident went viral, VIGINUM, France’s intelligence unit devoted to tracking foreign digital interference, recorded more than 1,000 bots making over 2,500 posts related to the incident on X, the social platform formerly known as Twitter.

Fizz ed: The Brooklyn Seltzer Museum tells the fascinating history of ‘Jewish champagne’

by Elizabeth Karpen, JTA News On a recent Sunday in Brooklyn, some 100 people, mostly families, gathered for a Hanukkah party that offered something a bit different. This particular holiday party took place at Brooklyn Seltzer Boys, the last remaining seltzer factory in New York City. There was a factory tour, instructions on how to manufacture a classic seltzer bottle and freshly-made egg creams.

The bustling seltzer works, which makes the so-called “Jewish champagne” the old-fashioned way, is located in the Cypress Hills neighborhood on the border with Queens and is also home to the Brooklyn Seltzer Museum.

“This is New York history, Brooklyn history, Jewish history,” fourth-generation “seltzer boy” Alex Gomberg said.

First Jewish university in South America to open in Buenos Aires next year

by Juan Melamed, JTA News South America is getting its first Jewish university next year.

The Latin American Rabbinical Seminary in Buenos Aires — which is affiliated with the Jewish Theological Seminary in New York, the Conservative movement’s flagship —obtained legal approval to establish the Isaac Abarbanel Jewish University Institute. The school will confer diploma, bachelor’s, master’s and doctoral degrees in subjects ranging from Jewish and religious studies to ethics to ancient manuscripts.

Continue reading these stories at sdjewishjournal.com

14 | SDJEWISHJOURNAL.COM January 2024

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ISRAELI LIFESTYLE

LIVING ON THE FRONT PAGE

by Andrea Simantov | andreasimantov@gmail.com

Hiding in Plain Sight I stirred awake to the sounds of supply planes, sirens and piercing whistles of the Iron Dome defense system ramming into an errant Hezbollah missile. Hunkering under the blankets, it took a moment for me to realize that I wasn’t in Jerusalem but instead, 8,500 kilometers away in South Africa. Still addled by sleep, what I’d believed were the sights and sounds of war were merely summer storms accompanied by lightning, thunder and typically endless Johannesburg traffic.

The plan to visit Africa came well after the war broke out and, to be candid, I had been torn. “Torn” is an apt description for so many of us with relatives overseas who leave the Holy Land for myriad reasons in our lifetimes. There is no one-size-fitsall descriptor for us Israeli-Anglos and while I have many friends/ acquaintances who enthusiastically await for their next visit to Target and/ or Trader Joe’s, for me these visits are difficult. Leaving Israel for a day is hard and if not for my elderly mother in Maryland and child and grandchildren in South Africa, I would be hard-pressed to leave Israeli soil. Ever.

It is particularly agonizing to leave Israel with a son on the front lines.

I know too much and I don’t know anything. He spoon-feeds accounts of certain missions and this oxygen keeps our homefires burning with patriotism

16 | SDJEWISHJOURNAL.COM January 2024

and ahavat Yisroel — love for our fellow Jews. Since the 8th of October, Ariel has been on active duty and what he shares has shifted the conflict’s narrative from newsprint into a living, breathing entity. If I didn’t recognize his mannerisms, speech patterns and favorite foods, I wouldn’t recognize this man who joins us for an occasional weeknight supper or Shabbat morning Kiddush during his rare military leaves. His language is peppered with terms that bespeak battle and defense, strategy and costs-versus-benefits. I am glued to the stories, despite not being a fan of warfilms. This isn’t Netflix and I can’t turn the channel. That’s fine. I don’t want to.

Visiting with my daughter’s friends who have become, over time, my friends, it is apparent that my presence now makes them uncomfortable. They don’t know what to ask and War etiquette isn’t covered in their school system. With the

exception of my daughter, there are no Israelis — or Jews — in her social circle.

Amara is polite and asks “How is life in Israel these days?” and I make a mistake.

Because when I become passionate with accounts of volunteerism, morality of mission, resilience of our citizens, etc., I notice her pasted-on smile, awkward with embarrassment. I’ve done that TMI thing, again.

Enveloped with sadness, again I am struck by our global isolation in the midst of the brutality and explosion of Jew-hatred that has erupted. It is ours alone.

Undoubtedly, a more convenient storyline might be that we are anxious to shake hands, make nice and stop with all of this fighting silliness. This war makes me a sloppy guest, less pristine and certainly not attractive. I would be remiss to omit that a few of the nonJewish friends, like Chris, are informed and unwavering in their support, praying that Israel does the job of freeing herself from an odious enemy.

Consequently, I prefer to remain indoors when not in Israel, reading books to small people and counting the days until my return because, when I am not in Israel, I am not anywhere. I don’t know who I am when separated from Israel. After 3,000 years, rootless is not an option. A

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RELIGION

POST-POLITICAL

by Rabbi Jacob Rupp | rabbirupp@gmail.com

The Three Steps Imagine a three-step ladder. The bottom of the ladder sits firmly in “your reality” and the top of the ladder stretches to “your ideal situation.” On each rung you’ll find that less and less people are willing to ascend.

As I like to share with people, there are about five areas of life that we can improve: mindset/relationship with self, relationships with others, spirituality, health and business/money.

Check out all of those areas and ask yourself, is this what I want? Is this what my full potential looks like? G-d put me here, gave me my life and has a vision for it: Am I living His vision with His ability to give me the expansiveness I want?

Now, for those of you happy where you are, wonderful. There might not be any reason to change anything. For those of you who look around and think to yourself, “Hmm, my life isn’t where I want it to be,” then you’re looking at the reality of your ground floor. The ground floor is a general discontent with the world in which you live.

But if you’re looking at your reality and you’re like, “I gotta do something,” then get on the ladder.

The first step of the ladder is getting help. This help can come in many forms.

It can come in the form of learning more about what you want to excel in. It can come from a trusted friend, a conversation, paying someone (a coach, mentor, or friend) to get started.

The first rung of the ladder is getting started on working on yourself. Now realize at this stage pretty much nothing changes. You’re still out of shape, your

18 | SDJEWISHJOURNAL.COM January 2024

relationship still sucks, you’re not making any money. But you’re on the path.

And realize that this stage itself is a huge win. Because people spend months, years, decades, even lifetimes wanting something else but never actually getting started. They never commited to do something.

So just doing something itself is a huge win.

Watch how many stay “stuck.” Many people talk about wanting to lose weight, getting a different job, creating a better relationship, but they don’t do it. They don’t show up. They don’t believe that they can have what they want.

And when you hit that first rung of the ladder, realize that most people will fall off it. They’ll buy the coaching package, but not do the work, they’ll sign up for the gym, but not go. They’ll start on the diet and not finish or have one date night with their spouse and that’s it.

So that’s the trip to the second step: consistency. Consistency means showing up day after day, even when it sucks, when you’re surrounded by objections, inner demons and the desire to quit hits you harder every day.

Why am I doing this? Why do I suck so bad? Why is it so hard for me? Will I ever get there? What’s wrong with me? Why does G-d hate me so much? Why doesn’t anyone help me?

And the answer is always just come back tomorrow.

And after some time on step number two, people can see results. Now, you might not be able to see it. Trust me,

I never see success in my body; I have to literally look at pictures to see the change.

But step number two is where most people get excited and complacent. They stay with the “worked out body” and maybe that 10-20K a month salary. And it’s good. It’s their new floor.

But then there is that third rung.

And this is the rung that hardly anyone reaches. That’s the rung of the ladder where you actually get what you want.

When you see that the path you are on is getting you somewhere. That you got results. And now you’re going to have to double and triple down on it and be like, “I will do whatever it takes to win.”

You don’t need to be on fire in your relationship with your spouse or with G-d. Here it’s about want. Desire. Drive.

It’s about actually striving for your potential.

And the truth is at this level, no one gives you advice. The people at your level and above give you encouragement and support. The people below you worry about it not being sustainable or that you’re going to get too greedy or hungry or never be happy.

But life on the third rung of the ladder is about relentless execution, and soon about helping others and the mission for the world. It’s about serving people from a place of real abundance because you want something and you did the inner work to be able to serve people.

That’s the third rung. And it’s for practically no one.

But if you’re wondering if it’s for you, then it is. A

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LITERATURE

WRITTEN IN FIRE

by T.S. McNeil

tremcneil1980@gmail.com

Stranger Than Truth Truth has often been said to be stranger than fiction mostly because fiction is thought to be bound by what is possible, while truth is not. Despite the ubiquity of this, there are many examples of the lines being blurred. One of the first to tell the truth with fictional style was Truman Capote with “In Cold Blood.” Going the other way, there have been fictionalized accounts of actual lives going back to Beowulf and instances of fiction written with reality in mind, especially in terms of the autobiographical type. A leading light of this last sort, often using his own name for mostly fictional protagonists was Philip Roth.

He was an alumnus of Bucknell University where he graduated magna cum laude from his undergraduate work in English and went on to a master’s from University of Chicago in English literature. He secured a job as an instructor in the undergraduate writing program soon after graduation in 1955.

Roth’s teaching career was cut short when he got close to being called for national service, signing up for the army before his name could be called. Spared the ravages of Korea by two years, his stint in the military was even briefer than his employment at the University of Chicago — a back injury he sustained in basic training deemed him unfit for service.

First published while still in Chicago, the majority of his early short works appeared in the illustrious “Chicago Review” while Roth was still a graduate

20 | SDJEWISHJOURNAL.COM January 2024

Almost all of his characters are overtly Jewish, most try to deal with the implications of being a minority in 20th century America.

student. His first published work, “Goodbye, Columbus” published in 1959, and later winning the National Book Award in 1960, consisted of the novella of the same name and other shorter stories first published in literary journals.

Taking his time on book number two, Roth’s first full-length novel, “Letting Go” was released in 1962 by Random House. Not yet to the point of naming characters after himself, the book’s protagonist, Gabe Wallach, has several characteristics and beats that bear a striking resemblance to Roth’s own experience, while also going into what didn’t happen but could have, such as, after finishing a degree at University of Iowa in the early 1950s, Gabe serves in

the Korean War, which sets the rest of the plot in motion.

Shifting gears a little, Roth’s next novel, 1967’s “When She Was Good” is set in the 1940s, during the period of Roth’s childhood, and follows one of his very few female protagonists, Lucy Nelson, as she embarks on a self-destructive mission to single-handedly reform the corrupt society around her.

By far his most successful and controversial novel, “Portnoy’s Complaint” put Roth, fairly or not, in a similar league with Joseph Heller, Vladimir Nabokov and Anthony Burgess as a fairly prolific author best known for one extremely controversial book. The crux of the issue was Roth’s unblinking portrayal of self-described “lust-ridden, mother-addicted young Jewish bachelor” Alexander Portnoy, which caused pearlclutching in the priggish America of 1969.

After a raft of fairly successful novels in the 1970s though early 1990s, including the Kafka inspired “The Breast” (1972), the ironically titled “The Great American Novel” (1973) and “Sabbath’s Theater” (1995), Roth hit his stride again in 1997 with “American Pastoral.” Nearly as controversial as “Portnoy’s Complaint” but for much better reasons, the book is part pastiche and part brutal criticism of the 1960s, particularly in terms of the Vietnam War and the American counter movement, including and especially the phenomenon of extremist student continues on page 22 >>

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Literature continued terrorists. It is also the first in what would come to be called Roth’s American Trilogy also including “I Married A Communist” (1998) and “The Human Stain” (2000).

After “The Dying Animal” (2001), Roth hit on what is arguably his most important consent that proved to be pertinent well into the 21st century. “The Plot Against America” takes a personal approach, with Roth naming the protagonist after himself for the third time in his career and deals with the fictional fallout of Charles Lindbergh’s potential win in the 1940 presidential election. Lindbergh’s victory leads to a much softer approach to Germany and Americans staying out of the war; antisemitism grows in American life, Jews like Roth are persecuted on all levels from the government on down.

Not quite to the visceral horror of Philip K. Dick’s “The Man In the High Castle” (1962) in which America was directly taken over by Nazi Germany and Imperial Japan after the war, but still deals with very similar themes.

Continuing to work well into the 2000s, publishing a further 10 novels before his death in 2018 at the age of 85, his last book, “Nemesis” was published in 2010.

Born in New Jersey to secondgeneration Jewish Ukrainian-Americans, Roth always incorporated elements of both Jewish and American identity into his work — not always flattering, but with a clear interest in exploration and understanding. Almost all of his characters are overtly Jewish, most try to deal with the implications of being a minority in 20th century America.

His most common narrator is Nathan Zuckerman, who first appears in “My Life As A Man” (1974) as an alter-ego to that book’s author protagonist Peter Tarnopol. Whether he is the main character or not, Zuckerman had served as the de facto narrator for no less than ten of Roth’s 26 novels, most famously as the narrator, but not protagonist, of “American Pastoral.” This at least partly reflects the disjointed sensation of living in America, especially as a Jewish American, at the time. A

The House of Israel has stood proudly in Balboa Park since 1948, sharing Israel’s story with thousands of visitors from around the country and the world. No other Israel organization gets out into the community as we do.

We believe there is a huge value in what we do. We invite you to stop by, enjoy our world-famous bourekas, explore our displays and exhibits, and chat with our knowledgeable volunteers. We also offer meeting space for groups and events including a full kitchen and PA system.

Please stop by the House or call with any questions.

Ruth Mastron, President 760.644.0335 ruth.mastron@gmaiI.com Cottage of lsrael.com

22 | SDJEWISHJOURNAL.COM January 2024

Tevet – Shevat 5784 SDJEWISHJOURNAL.COM | 23

24 | SDJEWISHJOURNAL.COM January 2024

FEATURE

A Green New Year

by Makayla Hoppe Coastal Roots Farm has always prided itself on its sustainability and educational efforts. The Encinitas organization practices Jewish community farming and shares its bounty with those who need it most. On Jan. 21, the Farm will welcome the new year with its ninth annual Tu B’Shvat Food Forest Festival.

Honoring the bond between nature and humanity, the festival strives to educate guests about the Farm’s food forest. Director of Philanthropy Kesha Dorsey described the food forest as “agroforestry.”

“The way we explain it to kids who come for the program is like agriculture between rows of forest,” Kesha said.

“Basically, it’s set up like a natural ecosystem. It’s not something that Coastal Roots Farm made up; we’re borrowing from ancient traditions and indigenous approaches to farming.

It’s the gold standard of regenerative agriculture, and regenerative agriculture is all about farming in a way that cares for our climate rather than just sort of extracting as much as we can from our natural resources.”

The food forest constantly cycles through seasonal crops and trees.

Currently, the 8.5-acre forest is filled with elderberry and pineapple-guava trees. For crops, the winter has brought leafy greens and beet seeds have just been sowed.

The theme for this year’s festival is “Together We Grow.” In teaching about the food forest and other sustainability efforts, the Farm hopes to show guests how the Earth gives to people and how people give to the Earth.

“Each year it always centers on the Jewish New Year of the Trees and climate, environmentalism and a connection to nature,” Kesha said. “This

idea of ‘Together We Grow’ this year was inspired by the interconnectedness between us as humans and the land.

In fact, one of the farm’s core Jewish values is adam (humanity) and adama (earth)... We at Coastal Roots Farm view that interconnectedness as being really central to who we are and sort of inspiring how we treat one another and the natural world around us.”

The festival will include tours of the food forest and activities for both kids and adults. The kids’ zone will feature holiday-themed crafts developed in partnership with local organizations Shalom Baby, Chabad Encinitas and Friendship Circle. Guests 21+ can enjoy libations if they so choose, as well as workshops and cooking classes.

Local vendors will be set up to offer food including Sabor Piri Piri, which offers curry bowls and samosas; Sinfully continues on next page >>

Tevet – Shevat 5784 SDJEWISHJOURNAL.COM | 25

Green New Year continued Sweet by Stacia, featuring pastries and other bakery items; Miss Kim’s Kitchen, which offers Asian dishes and snacks; and Maribel y Olivia Cocina, featuring tamales and other Mexican dishes.

Alcoholic beverages will be provided by Pure Project and Sipwell.

Kesha remarked how she’s worked at many different Jewish organizations, and Coastal Roots Farm’s approach to agriculture makes the most sense to her.

She hopes the message of the festival can be shared with both the Jewish community and the wider San Diego community. “‘It’s not a coincidence that apples are ready on Rosh Hashanah in the fall, and that horseradish is ready to be harvested during Passover time,” Kesha said. “There’s this inherent connection

26 | SDJEWISHJOURNAL.COM January 2024

between the Jewish calendar and the agricultural cycle. And so for people, whatever their level of observance might be, whether they’re Jewish or not, it’s sort of a nice way to experience the cycles and connect to the season, especially during this time when a lot of people are looking for grounding... All people are welcome and we’re excited to be sharing all of our values through this kind of festive day.”

She likened the Farm’s mission to the Talmudic story of “Honi and the Carob Tree.”

As Honi walked down a path, he found a man planting a carob tree. He asked the man how long the tree would take to grow.

“Seventy years,” the man said.

“Why would you plant a tree that you

will not live to see bear its fruit?” Honi asked.

The man replied, “My father and grandfather planted carob trees for me to enjoy. Today, I do the same for my children and grandchildren.”

“Environmental stewardship is really central to who we are and what we care about,” Kesha said. “So, I would say as part of this festival, we’re always trying to offer an opportunity for people to plug into that ... and understand how they might want to renew their commitment to the natural world.”

The event runs from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m.

There is a suggested donation of $20 per adult and $10 per child. This Jan. 21, celebrate Tu B’Shvat and learn how agroforestry can sustain both humans and our home. A

h future is w e J t h ig r b Ensuring a eoplehood p h is w e J l ael & globa r Is h it w g Connectin s in need w e J r o f g in Car munity m o c h is w e t & secure J n ie il s e r a Building

This is Federation.

For nearly 90 years, Jewish Federation has worked to ensure there will be a vibrant, caring, connected, and enduring Jewish community in San Diego, Israel, and around the world for generations to come. Your support is not just a donation; it is an investment in a thriving Jewish future.

To learn more or make a gift, visit

jewishinsandiego.org.

Tevet – Shevat 5784 SDJEWISHJOURNAL.COM | 27

FEATURE

The Opera Presents Something Old and Something New

by Makayla Hoppe

The classics never go out of style. For the San Diego Opera, they are pulling out a Mozart classic for the new year. “Don Giovanni” has been produced by the Opera before, but this year’s production holds a lot of firsts. Principal Conductor Yves Abel and Stage Director Kyle Lang will both be spearheading the show for the first time and their vision for the production looks to be a stellar one.

“Don Giovanni” follows the exploits and antics of our titular character as he womanizes and weasels his way throughout the town. A morally dubious protagonist, Don Giovanni’s hedonism eventually leads to a supernatural confrontation that he is unprepared for.

“We hear about his exploits with women,” Yves said, “and women of all types — rich and poor, large and skinny and in all these different countries: Italy, Spain, France and Germany. And yet, the funny thing about this opera is that he never scores. Not once.”

It’s difficult to call Don Giovanni a protagonist because you don’t exactly root for the guy, and “morally dubious” is putting it lightly. His actions that kick off the plot involve rape and murder.

However, Yves classified this opera as

28 | SDJEWISHJOURNAL.COM January 2024

a dramma giocoso, or “a drama with jokes.” He also recognizes that these topics are seen differently today than in Mozart’s time.

“In Mozart’s time, you have this guy, and he was taking advantage of these women left, right and center,” Yves said. “and it was funny in many cases because, ‘There’s this girl falling in love with him, and doesn’t she look silly, and he’s taking advantage of her,’ etc. So, there were all these kinds of themes that could be considered misogynistic today and we want to present something that, of course, makes it clear that what Don Giovanni is doing is not okay. But at the same time, it’s part of a frame [of mind] taken in time from 200 years ago.”

Some of the themes may be from a different time, but the staging and costumes reflect the opposite. Stage Director Kyle Lang has decided on a modern setting for the production. In fact, Kyle can see how this story relates to audiences today.

“Staging the show in a contemporary place and time...it’s a little more accessible to younger and modern audiences,” Kyle said. “Part of that is that there’s a lot going on in the story,

but there’s a story of danger and the element of something being wrong and... well, that’s the world we live in today...

So we kind of wanted to make the space available to explore that as much as possible.”

“Don Giovanni” has two versions: the opera that Mozart wrote for Prague and the opera that he wrote for Vienna.

Mozart was beloved in Prague and the first production of “Don Giovanni” was enthusiastically received. He was less liked in Vienna, so changes were made to adapt to the new audience. Arias were added to the score and certain story beats were cut from the finale.

Yves and Kyle have been working together to find the right balance between the two versions.

“We’ve been going back and forth despite a nine-hour time difference,” Yves said, “...for the last month or so as to what pieces of this glorious music we should leave out and what we should leave in. We’re about to come to a consensus as to how we want to present this opera. The idea is that we have to keep it moving. We have to keep the story cogent, easy to understand and keep continues on page 31 >>

Germán Enrique Alcántara DON GIOVANNI

Tasha Koontz DONNA ANNA

Alexander McKissick DON OTTAVIO

Megan Moore

DONNA ELVIRA

Ethan Vincent LEPORELLO

Yves Abel

CONDUCTOR Don Giovanni artwork by Jordi Ferrándiz

Tevet – Shevat 5784 SDJEWISHJOURNAL.COM | 29

FEATURE

Ohr Shalom Hosts Discussion Series on Death, Dying and Mourning

by Jacqueline Bull

Ohr Shalom is hosting a two day-long series of discussions titled “As A Jew, How Do I Prepare For Dying, Death And Mourning?”

They have gathered experts from a wide variety of disciplines like rabbis, funeral directors, death doulas, attorneys and therapists.

Eli and Susie Meltzer are co-chairs of the event and sat down with SDJJ for a Q&A before the event (Jan. 20 & 21).

This interview has been edited for space.

SDJJ: Can you tell me how this series came about?

Eli Meltzer: The United Synagogue of Conservative Judaism put out a notification that they wanted to generate and support a program on mental health. Our president of Ohr Shalom Marvin Yudkovitz (in the context of his father’s recent passing) met with the ritual committee and adult education committee and they submitted this program.

30 | SDJEWISHJOURNAL.COM January 2024

SDJJ: You are covering a very wide variety of topics. Was that the intention?

Susie Meltzer: Absolutely. There was a lot of discussion on the title itself and it was very clear that being Jewish there are many focuses that address these topics–everything from advance directive, hospice care, funeral planning and the rituals that surround this part of life. We feel very good that we have three rabbis, a death doula and a funeral director as part of our program who are experts in these individual topics. And it will give the opportunity to listen to them and it’s interactive so people can come and have personal questions answered.

Eli: The faculty is really extraordinary.

We are very lucky and delighted that the people that we asked volunteered. The speakers are all good teachers. We think that the discussions are going to be very meaningful.

SDJJ: Do you see many families that seem unprepared to deal with the death of a loved one?

Susie: We do. We happen to not be a large synagogue and we pride ourselves on being a close knit family, but having said that many times people are unprepared for both the dying and the death process and the ritual. Mourning in particular is one of the purposes of a synagogue and every Rabbi and community — it’s built in. That is one of the impetus for this program to help people understand that process and prepare for it.

SDJJ: What do you hope people take away from this series?

Susie: Some people may be attracted to this program on a personal level perhaps because they are facing a terminal illness and are looking for avenues to go. And along with that loving family that don’t know logistically what to do, where to go and emotionally how to prepare. We encourage the community at large that they will take away something for their own personal need. continues on next page >>

San Diego Opera continued the attention span of the audiences as much as possible.”

Yves and Kyle have collaborated before and find that they work well together. Their first collaboration together was for “Carmen” several years ago, and recently for The Puccini Duo this past year. “[Yves] is hands down my favorite conductor to work with,” Kyle said.

“Don’t tell the other conductors.

He’s just such a theatrical conductor, meaning he understands theater. He understands that his decisions affect me and my decisions affect him. So, we’re always working as a team and we’re always working with the thought of what is best for this moment in this production.”

Yves is the principal conductor, but the music wouldn’t be possible without the musicians, and this production will proudly have the San Diego Symphony playing along. To emphasize the power and strength of the instruments, the Symphony will be placed on stage along with the vocalists.

“We’re building a platform around [the musicians],” Kyle said, “and we’re

The set...is something like a rock concert meets an opera.

It has this raw feeling, which is at the heart of ‘Don Giovanni’— a raw, emotional story.” lifting the orchestra pit to stage level.

Then, I use that as an apron to stage on. The set uses a lot of projection and exposes the lights so that you arrive at something that is like a rock concert meets an opera. It has this raw feeling, which is at the heart of ‘Don Giovanni’— a raw, emotional story.”

The opera is being performed in its traditional Italian, but English and Spanish translations will be projected above the stage to be read along with the music.

For Yves, he hopes that audiences can really feel the story and take home a new perspective or thought that they maybe hadn’t felt before.

“I believe in opera,” Yves said.

“I believe in its utility, in the sense of what it brings and what music brings to people’s hearts and souls and how important it is to counteract the world that we live in–modern technology, phones, easy-to-get results. If one has to sit through an opera or a symphony, you’ve got to think about it, you’be gotta take it in … you got to feel the emotion of the characters. If you’re able to do that, you can identify with them, you can identify with the feelings of this music and search deep inside of yourself to see how that reflects the human condition.” A “Don Giovanni” plays at the San Diego Civic Theatre on Feb. 2 and Feb. 4. Visit sdopera.org for more information.

Ohr Shalom Discussion Series continued Eli: Things people need to do before they die like advance health directive, having health care clear, maybe hospice care is necessary, maybe organ donation is something they want to consider–those are things pre-death issues. Then there is the funeral planning and the cost related to it. And even after you pass: is there a legacy you want to leave? Do you want to leave an ethical will? All those kinds of topics will be covered.

SDJJ: We avoid talking about death, do you hope these discussions help destigmatize it?

Eli: The more you prepare for it, it becomes less scary. We know what steps you need to take ahead of time and what the issues are going to be and you can make arrangements then there is a peacefulness that can be created by that knowledge base.

How do I attend?

Susie: One of the things that is unique about this program is that it is the opportunity face-to-face to talk with professionals about all of these different aspects rather than having to deal with at the moment which is so difficult.

The event will be held in-person at Ohr Shalom synagogue at 2512 Third Avenue.

The event is free, but registration is required. Attendees are asked to RSVP by emailing office@ohrshalom.org which day/s they would like to register for. You may also register to participate via Zoom (with the same email). A

Tevet – Shevat 5784 SDJEWISHJOURNAL.COM | 31

Local Offerings

BY EILEEN SONDAK

OCEANSIDE MUSEUM OF ART oma-online.org The Oceanside Museum of Art will feature “Listening to Unheard/ Drawing the Unseen: Meditations on Presence & Absence in Native Lands, Drawings by John Halaka,” through Feb. 18. “Deena Altman: Female Rising” is being showcased through Feb. 4. Also on display is “Artist Alliance Biennial.” This show is slated to remain through Mar. 31.

LAMB’S PLAYERS THEATRE lambsplayers.org The Lamb’s Players will launch its 2024 season on Jan. 6 with an Irish tale titled, “Outside Mullingar.” The story deals with love, family and a property dispute and features one of San Diego’s favorite theater couples — Robert Smyth and Deborah Gilmour Smyth. The play will continue at the Lamb’s Coronado home through Feb. 18.

32 | SDJEWISHJOURNAL.COM January 2024

“Intimate Apparel” at North Coast Rep. PHOTO: AARON RUMLEY

NORTH COAST REP northcoastrep.org North Coast Repertory Theatre will start the year off on Jan. 10 with “Intimate Apparel,” a powerful American story about a Black seamstress in 1905 Manhattan. It’s a story of heartbreak, humor, and resiliency, and it will continue at NCRT through Feb. 4.

BROADWAY SAN DIEGO broadwaysd.com Broadway-San Diego will feature the Broadway-bound production of “The Wiz” Jan. 9–14. This delightful take on “The Wizard of Oz” marks a unique opportunity for San Diego theater buffs to see a show before it returns to the Great White Way, so don’t miss it during its brief stay at the Civic Theater.

THE LA JOLLA MUSIC SOCIETY theconrad.org The La Jolla Music Society starts the music off on Jan. 18, with Peter Hillary sharing “70 Years of Everest,” followed on the 19th by Tatiana Eva‑Marie & Avalon Band. Pianist Tony Siqi Yun will perform on Jan. 21, and Lucas & Arthur Jussen will share the stage on keyboard Jan.25. Lakecia Benjamin & Phoenix are slated to round out the month on Jan. 28.

Karole Foreman as Billie Holiday at Cygnet.

Tatiana Eva-Marie at LJMS.

CYGNET THEATRE

THE OLD GLOBE

cygnettheatre.com

theoldglobe.org

Cygnet Theatre is gearing up to unveil “Lady Day at Emerson’s Bar & Grill” on Jan. 24. The show tells the life story of the legendary Billie Holiday — with local songstress extraordinaire Karole Foreman in the leading role.

The play will continue through Feb. 18.

The Old Globe will kick off its 2024 season on Jan. 27 with “English,” a witty and compassionate play about foreign students preparing for an English proficiency exam — and contemplating the life they leave behind. The play snared the Pulitzer Prize in 2023, so check it out before it pulls up stakes on Feb. 18.

Tevet – Shevat 5784 SDJEWISHJOURNAL.COM | 33

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Freda Goldstein – San Diego Eli Salsberg – Solana Beach Steven Abrams – Evanston, IL William Weiner – San Diego Morris Nachtomi – La Jolla Lucille Zemlick – El Cajon Victor Rozenfeld – San Diego Linda Simon – La Jolla Eric Whinston – San Diego Sofiya Nisman – San Diego Ruth Harris – San Diego Joseph Cohen – Poway Douglas Behr – Menifee, CA Gayle Benn – San Diego

Aleksandr Polyakov – La Mesa Ilan Samson – La Jolla Albert Avenaim – Scottsdale, AZ Sheila Swartz – La Jolla Betty Kornreich – San Diego Farid Meshkati – Scottsdale, AZ Steven Lincoln – San Diego Laura Radchik – San Diego Steven Ross – Poway

May their memory be a blessing.

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SPECIAL TO THE SAN DIEGO JEWISH JOURNAL

Dispatch from Adopt a Family Foundation On October 7th, following the brutal attacks in Israel, Adopt a Family Foundation, a San Diego based organization under the leadership of Co-Founder and CEO Carine Chitayat, immediately took action. The families were instantly contacted by Carine and their adopters here in San Diego to assess and support their needs.

Adopt a Family Foundation is committed to adopting and providing both emotional and financial support to individuals and their families in Israel dealing with the aftermath of terrorism.

The majority of these families are from the Gaza Envelope, Sderot and Sha’ar Hanegev areas.

Tragically the families in the South were right in the line of fire.

Fortunately, they were able to escape from the onslaught physically unharmed, hunkering down in shelters and safe rooms for hours until they were able to relocate to safer areas in Israel. The loss of friends, neighbors, children and elderly among them is incomprehensible.

Adopt a Family Foundation jumped right into action. An Emergency Fund was opened and funds collected are

by Robyn Rapoport

Adopt a Family Foundation provides emotional and financial support to individuals and their families in Israel dealing with the aftermath of terrorism. being used to respond to the needs of all of their families and to bring support to the south of Israel. The Foundation reached out to their social workers who remain in constant contact with them as they continue to monitor the needs of all of their families.

During this crisis, Adopt a Family Foundation has assisted their families with accommodation, provided financial aid, provided assistance to Kibbutz Kfar Aza (which was destroyed by Hamas terrorists) as well as assistance to the residents of Kibbutz Nir Oz. Adopt a Family Foundation also continues to provide ongoing support to the

Resilience Center in Sha’ar Hanegev.

Their families continue to receive a variety of different therapies needed to cope with acts of violence, as they suffer acutely from PTSD. Since October 7th, many people in the San Diego community have reached out to Adopt a Family Foundation to enquire about their organization. The Foundation needs all the support it can get particularly now and in light of the fact that more families will be adopted into their program with the plan that each family in Israel will be permanently matched and paired with a San Diegan Family.

If you are interested in becoming a committed and long- term adopter, please contact adoptafamilyfoundation@gmail.com Please give generously to their Emergency Fund at www.adoptafamilyfoundation.org

Tevet – Shevat 5784 SDJEWISHJOURNAL.COM | 35

SPOTLIGHT

January Happenings at the JCC

by Makayla Hoppe On Jan. 7, the San Diego International Jewish Film Festival will be showing trailers in the David & Dorothea Garfield Theatre. Known as “Sneak Peek Day,” this will be the 34th year of SDIFJJ previews at the LFJCC. The films set to play in February include drama, documentary and animation. The event is free and will offer light refreshments for guests. Please note that reservations are required.

Sunday, Jan. 7 at 11:00 a.m.

Visit lfjcc.org/cjc/sdijff.aspx for more information.

This Jan. 16 will mark the 16th season of the Jewish PoetsJewish Voices readings. Three Jewish San Diego poets will present their work and an open mic will be provided for attendees to participate. A reception will be held after the event to allow guests the opportunity to meet and speak with the poets. Held in the Astor Judaica Library, the readings are presented in collaboration with the San Diego Center for

36 | SDJEWISHJOURNAL.COM January 2024

Jewish Culture and the JCC’s Senior & Adult Dept. Please note that attendance is free, but reservations are required. A Tuesday, Jan. 16 at 7:00 p.m.

Visit lfjcc.org/cjc/poets.aspx for more information.

Thursdays in January will have “Coming to our Census: History, Demography, and the Latest San Diego Jewish Community Study.” This is a three-session course that delves into Jewish community surveys and what we can learn from them. Dr. Joellyn Zollman will be leading the event and exploring what the community has to say. Dr. Zollman received her Ph.D. in Jewish history from Brandeis University and has taught at San Diego State University and UCSD. Thursday, Jan. 11, 18, and 25 at 10:30 a.m.

Price: $54, JCC Members: $43.

Visit my.lfjcc.org/13796 for more information.

Jan 24 - Feb 18, 2024

By Lanie Robertson Directed by Wren T. Brown In Association with Ebony Repertory Theatre

Experience Billie Holiday’s life story through the songs that made her famous. With her poignant voice and moving numbers, one of the greatest jazz singers of all-time shares her loves and her losses.

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THE

NEWS The Butterfly Project Seeks New Leadership Since 2006, The Butterfly Project has taught the community about the Holocaust through storytelling and the arts; ceramic butterflies are painted to remember the 1.5 million children killed.

For the first time, the Project is looking to hire a full-time, paid Executive Director. The Project has been a volunteer-led effort, and they are looking toward the future to find long-term sustainability and responsibility.

Cheryl Rattner Price served as co-founder and Executive Director for 18 years. She will continue working with the Project to provide guidance and support.

Contact edsearch@thebutterflyprojectnow.org for information about filling the Executive Director position.

Free Community Engagement From The Old Globe The Old Globe’s 11th annual Powers New Voices Festival is a three-day, free event that features 10 new American plays from up-and-coming playwrights. The event runs Jan. 12-14 and will be held in the Sheryl and Harvey White Theatre.

The festival will include four new full-length play readings: “Emerson Loses Her ‘Miand’ ” by Laura Winters on Jan. 13 at 4:00 p.m.

Emerson Greenblatt may be having a grand time at her bridal party, but uncomfortable conversations about interfaith marriages appear after one too many bottles of wine. The absurdity of bridesmaid culture comes to a head in this comedy about life, love and the world of weddings.

Globe-commissioned “Pleasant” by Inda Craig-Galván on Jan. 13 at 7:30 p.m.

A self-described “capitalist by profession,” Mary Ellen Pleasant rose to the top of the ladder during the 19th century. You’ve likely never heard her name before, but this powerhouse of a woman dominated real estate, entrepreneurship and abolitionism to become the first African-American millionaire.

“The Hispanic/Latino/Latina/Latinx/Latine Vote”

by Bernardo Cubría on Jan. 14 at 4:00 p.m.

University professor Paola Aguilar is in desperate need of some cash, so when the Political Party offers her a hefty paycheck to help them understand the Hispanic/Latino/ Latina/Latinx/Latine vote, she can’t say no. Will she be able to help others learn about a culture other than their own, or do her morals matter more than the politics?

38 | SDJEWISHJOURNAL.COM January 2024

Globe-commissioned “Empty Ride” by Keiko Green on Jan. 14 at 7:30 p.m.

Having lived abroad in Paris for a bit, Kisa returns to Japan and her small hometown of Ishinomaki. She takes over her father’s taxi cab and discovers new people and places, as well as herself while navigating the streets haunted by the 2011 tsunami.

On Jan. 12, Celebrating Community Voices will present six 10-minute plays in addition to the full-length readings.

Local San Diego playwrights MG Green, Marie Vasari Hislop, Eliza Hugee, Ms. JHawk, Brian T. Josten and Ric Scales will be featured. This event is presented by the Globe’s arts engagement programs, Community Voices and coLAB. “The Powers New Voices Festival enters its second decade as one of the most compelling and unique celebrations of American playwriting,” said Erna Finci Viterbi Artistic Director Barry Edelstein. “For 10 years, the Globe’s investment in new work for the American stage through commissions, workshops, and productions has resulted in major contributions to the national repertoire. Year 11 once again brings brilliant writers to San Diego, telling urgent and exciting stories that inject new energy into our art form. The plays in this year’s Festival cover a huge range of subjects, genres, styles, and cultures.”

Full-length play readings require reservations. Visit theoldglobe.org for more information

Food

Sunchoke-Cauliflower Soup From “My Kosher Jerusalem Kitchen,” by Sybil Kaplan When the temperatures go low, the first thing that comes to my mind by the recipe files are warming soups.

Look beyond the potatoes, carrots and winter squashes and consider red cabbage, shelled edamame, celeriac or parsnip as additions.

INGREDIENTS

PREPARATION

Soup:

1.

Melt 4 tbsp. margarine in a soup pot. Add celery and onion and cook for 6 minutes. Add pareve stock and pareve milk then cauliflower, sunchokes, and thyme and cook for 30 minutes.

Discard thyme sprig.

2.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Mix 2 tbsp. of pareve margarine with garlic. Spread garlic butter on baguette slices, place on cookie sheet and bake for 8 minutes.

3.

Puree soup in batches in a blender and then return to the soup pot. Season with salt and pepper. (Editor’s Note: If desired, you can reserve some of the pieces of the sunchoke and cauliflower before blending to get a more varied texture.)

4.

Ladle into a soup bowl and garnish. Serve with garlic bread slices on the side.

• 4 tbsp. unsalted margarine • 2 celery stalks (minced into ribs) • 1 small, minced onion • 4 cups pareve chicken stock • 1½ cups non-dairy milk • 2 lbs. 1-inch cauliflower florets • 12 oz. peeled 1-inch sunchoke pieces • 2 sprigs thyme • Sunflower sprouts or parsley (for garnish) Bread: • 2 tbsp. pareve margarine • 2 small minced garlic cloves

SERVES 8

• 8 ¼-inch thick baguette slices • Salt and pepper to taste Tevet – Shevat 5784 SDJEWISHJOURNAL.COM | 39

DIVERSIONS

‘Curb Your Enthusiasm,’ HBO’s especially Jewish comedy, to end after upcoming 12th season

by Andrew Lapin, JTA News A decades-long era of Jewish comedy on television will come to an end next year, as “Curb Your Enthusiasm,” Larry David’s HBO comedy, is set to end after its 12th season.

The imminent conclusion of “Curb” has been rumored for several seasons now, but a poster and press statement from David this week confirmed that its 12th go-around, premiering Feb. 4, will indeed be the show’s last.

“As ‘Curb’ comes to an end, I will now have the opportunity to finally shed this ‘Larry David’ persona and become

40 | SDJEWISHJOURNAL.COM January 2024

the person G-d intended me to be — the thoughtful, kind, caring, considerate human being I was until I got derailed by portraying this malignant character,” David’s statement reads. “And so ‘Larry David,’ I bid you farewell.”

Now 76, David has over the years populated “Curb” with a wealth of Jewish characters and plotlines, including the time he posed as an Orthodox Jew in an effort to weasel out of donating a kidney to a friend; the time he went behind his Jewish community’s back to dine at a Palestinian chicken restaurant;

the time he accidentally arranged a meeting between a Holocaust survivor and a contestant on the reality show “Survivor”; and the time Mel Brooks cast him in “The Producers” on Broadway.

“I’ve had every ethnicity, every race, stop me on the street telling me how much they love the show. It’s the truthtelling that we do — that we basically say all the things that people are thinking but are afraid to say,” Susie Essman, one of the actresses on the show, said. A

Aliyah: It's your move.

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ADVICE

ASK MARNIE

by Marnie Macauley, M.S. | marniemacauley@gmail.com

Healthy Self-Talk for the New Year: Refuse Negativity!

My dear San Diegans: I admit it. I talk to myself. True, it can be a little creepy at times, but I’m one great little listener — to myself. I talk in the car. I talk in the bathroom. I talk in the kitchen. I talk to things. My negative self-talk (and cursing) had completely ruined my relationship with my computer and phone, among other things that torture me with spam, updates, hang ups, and daily misery.

In looking at this realistically, I’ve come to realize my thinking is incorrect and possibly the source of these mishaps.

Perhaps it’s a self-fulfilling prophecy! (“Of course your stupid phone will die.”)

Boom! Or perhaps I’m so busy believing the negative and personalizing it, I’m handling these devices incorrectly.

Finally, I ordered a new phone and had a tech expert fix the computer.

The reality is, we all talk to ourselves ( just not necessarily, like me, aloud).

We use our beliefs, our fears and even our negativism, all of which both demonstrate and fuel our moods and reactions. We also use homilies, aphorisms, quotes and samplers to reinforce our beliefs.

A critical aspect of getting out from under negativity is acquiring new positive beliefs and a new way of reacting. Changes to our self-talk are critical when trying to keep things real and positive. After decades of practice,

42 | SDJEWISHJOURNAL.COM January 2024

I’ve come up with the following Strategic Self-Talk: Principles And Strategies. They may surprise you. Here are a few.

Incorrect 1. “ ‘Success’” As a Goal, May Be Your Biggest ‘Failure’.”

Those who push “success” as the goal of life may well find themselves cursing fate and your so-called incapacities. What is success anyway? Beats me. It’s too often defined by what others think.

MARNIE’S STRATEGIC WAY asks the question, what is your definition of purpose? Purpose that comes from passion fascinates and makes you feel good about yourself. Goals may take time. (It took Einstein 11 years to present E=mc^2 to the world.) The Strategic Way encourages setting your own goals and personal standards, Replaces the ”usual” meaning of “success” with determination, persistence and the ability to see failure as a learning experience.

Incorrect 2. The Most Limiting Words in Language Translate as “I Should” Or “I Must.”

The most fulfilling lives involve finding personal passions, not what “should” or “must be.” As implied above, it’s your life, you’re a custom-job. Whatever you choose, fall at least a little in love with the journey, whether it’s creative,

family-oriented, career...or risk getting lost in the ill-fitting choices of others.

Be careful not to “choose” what’s trendy or expected. When we march to others’ drummers (and that includes family) we often lose passion and feel unfulfilled and miserable.

MARNIE’S STRATEGIC WAY asks you to look at what you enjoy, return to, offers fulfillment, fascination and curiosity?

If you’re not sure, explore many options through studying different subjects, volunteering, traveling or even taking an aptitude test. My beautiful cousin Dinah, after raising two wonderful children, and writing a cookbook, decided she wanted to find a new passion. She took an aptitude test and it turned out she’d make an excellent medical engineer. She did. With a PhD. in hand she went into research and loved it. (We had different grandmothers,)

Incorrect 3. “Anxiety Is The Metastasis Of Emotional Stagnation:” Anxiety and worse, panic attacks keep us stuck in mental and physical horror.

The difference between anxiety and worry is reality. The doctor shows you a problematic X-ray. You’re worried. That’s reality. You get your annual physical and you’re hysterical, that’s anxiety.

continues on next page >>

Advice continued MARNIE’S STRATEGIC WAY: These very real feelings and reactions can be devastating and limiting. When you feel them coming on there are things you can do on the spot to help get past them: (1) Don’t avoid! Know you’re panicking/ anxious. Also change your self-talk to “I know what this is. It will pass and there is no real basis in my fear.” (2) Switch the thought to a positive, relaxing real image. (3) Look around you, focus on different things and count them; (4) Divert in other ways, e.g: breathe, get active, soothe yourself with music, a game, a YouTube video. (5) Delay. Recognize it, then put it in a box, lock it. Say, “I have no time for you now. Later I will be anxious for 10 minutes. Not now!”

My traditional favorite: “In the matter of constructive criticism —‘Shut Up!’” To all of my readers, be safe, be healthy, be you. With all my love, Marnie.

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Ohr Shalom Synagogue presents two days of learning:

AS A JEW, HOW DO I PREPARE FOR DYING, DEATH AND MOURNING? Saturday & Sunday, January 20 & 21, 2024

Interactive discussions, with Jewish experts, focused on planning for, and living through, death – one’s own or that of a loved one.

Who will benefit from attending this important program?You?Your aging parents? … Everyone.

Saturday, January 20, 1:00pm Embracing Grief & Preparing for the Inevitable Alex van Frank, Attorney, Death Doula, Meditation & Yoga Therapist.

Hamakom Yenachem: Finding Comfort During Times of Loss Rabbi Aliza Berk, LMFT Licensed Psychotherapist, Jewish Spiritual Director.

Sunday morning, January 21, 10:00am Planning Ahead for End of Life Issues Rabbi Ralph Dalin, Jewish Community Chaplin, Jewish Federation of San Diego, and Rabbinic Director, Ohr Ami, The Jewish Hospice Program.

Saturday evening, January 20, 7:00pm What Do I Do When a Loved One Dies?

Rabbi Scott Meltzer, Rabbi, Ohr Shalom, SDSU Lecturer in the Study of Religion.

How to Alleviate the Emotional and Financial Burden on Your Survivors When Your Time Comes Peter Krantz, Licensed Funeral Director, Am Israel Mortuary, and Vince Storniolo, Licensed Pre-Need Insurance Specialist, Am Israel Mortuary.

These events are made possible through a generous grant from the United Synagogue of Conservative Judaism (USCJ).

Free to the Public

Space is limited, Please RSVP to the Ohr Shalom office by January 14. Office@ohrshalom.org All events are in-person at Ohr Shalom and on ZOOM. Zoom (link sent upon registration).

Ohr Shalom Synagogue • 2512 Third Avenue • San Diego 92103 • (619) 231-1456 Tevet – Shevat 5784 SDJEWISHJOURNAL.COM | 43

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