January 2020 by San Diego Jewish Journal

January 2020

Tevet / Shevat 5780

Women Serving Women Education Issue

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Tevet / Shevat 5780 SDJewishJournal.com 7

Tevet / Shevat 5780

January 2020

CONTENTS

page 33 EDUCATION: SDJA: Center for Learning, Kindness and Growth

page 37 FEATURE: Remembering a Jewish Cultural Icon: Gertrude Berg

page 49 FEATURE: Being a Persian Jewâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;Amir Kashfi on His Family History and LA Community 8 SDJewishJournal.com | January 2020

IN THIS ISSUE

page 57 FEATURE: Why I've Traveled 10,000 Miles to Learn About Being Jewish.

page 30 FEATURE: Sowing the Seeds of Community

CMY

page 40 EDUCATION: CHA Head of School Talks How They've Designed Their School Culture and Their Kindergarten MONTHLY COLUMNS

IN EVERY ISSUE

12 From the Editor 22 Personal

16 Whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Up Online 59 Food 61 Diversions 64 News 66 Advice

Development and Judaism 24 Israeli Lifestyle 26 Examined Life 28 Religion AROUND TOWN

18 Our Town 20 The Scene 62 What's Goin On

ALSO IN THIS ISSUE 46 EDUCATION: A Secular Education with a Judaic Foundation: Parents on Soille Hebrew Day 53 EDUCATION OP ED: Walking the Fine Line

Tevet / Shevat 5780 SDJewishJournal.com 9

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January 2020 • Tevet/Shevat 5780

jobs can bebe difficult butbut wewe areare with youyou every step of the way.way. Don Lincoln, CFP®, CIMA® JeffreyChanging RChanging Liber, CFP® jobs can difficult with every step of the Changing jobs can be difficult but we are with you every step of the way. Managin g Director-Investments Senior Vice President-Investments • Retirement Retirement Plans CA Insurance Lic #0C28496Plans CA Insurance Lic #0821851 • Retirement Plans don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com • Life/Disability Insurance

jobs can bebe difficult butbut wewe areare with youyou every step of the way.way. Donwith Lincoln, CFP®, CIMA® JeffreyChanging RChanging Liber, CFP® jobs can difficult every step of the Managing Director-Investments Senior Vice President-Investments • Retirement Retirement Plans CA Insurance Lic #0C28496Plans CA Insurance Lic #0821851 jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com • Life/Disability Insurance PUBLISHERS • Mark Edelsteindon.lincoln@wfadvisors.com and Dr. Mark Moss

Investment Strategies Gina Grimmer •  Investment Strategies Financial Consultant CA Insurance Lic #O178195 gina.grimmer@wfadvisors.com

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF • Jacqueline Bull  Investment Strategies Zeebah Aleshi Gina Grimmer SeniorWehrung Registered Client Associate Financial Consultant ASSISTANT EDITOR • Alex CA Insurance Lic #0G75099 CA Insurance Lic #O178195 ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR • Eileen Sondak zeebah.aleshi@wfadvisors.com gina.grimmer@wfadvisors.com

Life/Disability Insurance •  Life/Disability Insurance • Investment Strategies

Zeebah Aleshi Senior Registered Client Associate CA Insurance Lic #0G75099 zeebah.aleshi@wfadvisors.com

Yesenia Gil Client Associate Fluent in Spanish yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com

858-532-7904 858-532-7904

12531 HHigh igh BBluff luff DDrive, rive, SSTE TE 4400 00 12531 12531 HighCBluff Bluff Drive, STE 400 San iego, A 2130 12531 High Drive, San DDiego, CA 992130

San Diego, CA 92130 92130 San Diego, CA 858-‐ 23-‐ 904 858-‐ 5523-‐ 77904 858-523-7904 858-523-7904 12531 High Bluff Drive, STE 400 www.liberlincolnwmg.com www.liberlincolnwmg.com San CDiego, Don Lincoln, CFP®, IMA® CA 92130

Jeffrey Jeffrey RR LLiber, iber, CCFP® FP® Managing Director-‐ IInvestments Managing irector-‐ nvestments Jeffrey RDLiber, CFP® Jeffrey RRLiber, CFP® CA I nsurance L ic # Jeffrey Liber, CFP® CA Insurance DirectorLic #0C28496 0C28496 Managing Investments Managing DirectorInvestments jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com Managing jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com Director-Investments CA Insurance LicCFP® #0C28496 Jeffrey R Liber,

Don Lincoln, CFP®, CIMA® Senior VVice ice PPresident-‐ resident-‐ nvestments 858-523-7904 Senior IInvestments

DonLincoln, Lincoln, CFP®, CIMA®® ® CIMA® Don CFP®, CA IInsurance nsurance ic ##CFP 0821851 Don Lincoln, , CIMA CA LLic 0821851 SeniorVice Vice President-Investments Investments Senior Presidentdon.lincoln@wfadvisors.com 12531 High Bluff Dr, Suite 400 don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com Senior President-Investments CAVice Insurance Lic #0821851 Don Lincoln, CFP®, CIMA® CA Insurance Lic San Diego, CA #0821851 92130 don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com CA Insurance Lic #0821851 Senior Vice PresidentInvestments don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com 858-523-7913 Gina rimmer CA Insurance Lic #0821851 Don.Lincoln@wfadvisors.com Gina GGrimmer www.LiberLincoln WMG.com

CA Insurance Lic #0C28496

CA Insurance Lic #0C28496 jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com Managing DirectorInvestments jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com CA Insurance Alissa W Jeffrey.Liber@wfadvisors.com Alissa Waddell addell Lic #0C28496

Registered lient AAssociate ssociate don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com Registered CClient CA iinsurance nsurance ic 0178195 Yesenia Gil Patty Dutra CA LLGil ic ##0178195 Yesenia Don Lincoln, CFP®, CIMA® eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com Client Associate eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com

AVP -‐-‐ RRegistered jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com AVP egistered CClient lient A Associate ssociate CA iinsurance Lic Gina Grimmer Emily Saffa CA nsurance ic ##0I18483 0I18483 Gina Grimmer R Liber,LClient CFP® Jeffrey alissa.waddell@wfadvisors.com Registered Associate alissa.waddell@wfadvisors.com

Financial Consultant Registered Client Associate Managin gGrimmer Director-Inves tments CA insurance Lic #O178195 Gina CA insuranceLicLic #O178195 CA Insurance License #0I70215 CA Insurance #0C28496 Registered Client Associate eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com CA insurance Lic #0178195

Client Associate Senior Client Associate Senior Vice Fluent in President-Investments Spanish Yesenia Gil Fluent in Spanish 858-523-7904 CA Insurance Lic #0821851 Client Associate yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com Fluent in Spanish Emily.saffa@wfadvisors.com Investment offered through through affiliates: affiliates: Patty.Dutra@wfadvisors.com !NOT FDIC Insured Insured !NOBank BankGuarantee Guarantee Investment and and Insurance Insurance Products Products offered !NOT FDIC !NO yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com

!MAY Lose eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com !MAY Lose Value Value

Michelle Hasten 12531 High Bluff Dr., Suite 400 Senior Registered Client Associate San Diego, CA92130 CA Insurance Lic #0G75099 CA Insurance Lic Lic #O178195 CA Insurance #0183194 offered through affiliates: 858-523-7904 Investment and Insurance NOT FDIC Insured MAY NO Bank Investment InsuranceProducts Products: NOT FDIC Insured NO Bank Guarantee LoseGuarantee Value zeebah.aleshi@wfadvisors.com gina.grimmer@wfadvisors.com MAY Lose Investment andValue Insurance Products: NOT FDIC Insured NO Bank Guarantee MAY Lose Value Michelle.Hasten@wfadvisors.com www.LiberLincolnWMG.COM Zeebah Aleshi Gina Grimmer Wells is aa registered registered broker-dealer broker-dealer and and aa separate separate non-bank affiliateof ofWells WellsFargo Fargo&&Company. Company. Wells Fargo Fargo Advisors, Advisors, LLC, LLC, Member Member SIPC, SIPC, is non-bank affiliate ©2009 Wells Advisors, reserved. 88580 88580 –v1 –v1 -0312-2590 -0312-2590 (e7460) (e7460) Senior Registered Client Associate ©2009 Wells Fargo Fargo Advisors, LLC. LLC. All All rights rights reserved. Financial Consultant

Wells Fargo Advisors is a trade name used by Wells Fargo Clearing Services, LLC, Member FINRA/SIPC Wells Fargo Advisors is tradename nameused used byAll Wells Fargo Clearing Services, LLC, Member FINRA/SIPC (c) 2016 Wells FargoisClearing Services, LLC Rights reserved 1016-02995 Wells Fargo Advisors aa trade by Wells Fargo Clearing Services, LLC, Member FINRA/SIPC Yesenia Gil (c) 2016 Wells Fargo Clearing Services,LLC LLCAll AllRights Rights reserved reserved 1016-02995 (c) 2016 Wells Fargo Clearing Services, 1016-02995

Client Associate Fluent in Spanish yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com

Wells Fargo Advisors is a trade name used by Wells Fargo Clearing Services, LLC, Member SIPC.

Larry M. Katz Certified Public Accountant

• Income Tax Preparation • IRS and State Audit Representation • Litigation Support Services • Forensic Accounting Services • Business Consulting Services

 Life/Disability Insurance • Investment Strategies

CREATIVE DIRECTOR • Derek Berghaus

Yesenia Gil OFFICE MANAGER • Jonathan Ableson Client Associate SENIOR CONSULTANT • Ronnie Weisberg Fluent in Spanish yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com 858-532-7904 858-532-7904 858-532-7904

CONTRIBUTING WRITERS 12531 High Bluff Drive, STE 400 Emily Bartell, Linda Bennett, Leorah 12531 HighCBluff Bluff Drive, STE 400 San DGavidor, iego, A 92130 12531 High Drive, San Diego, CA 92130 92130 San Diego, CA 858-‐ 523-‐ 7904 Emily Gould, Judith Fein (Senior Travel Correspondent), 858-523-7904 858-523-7904 12531 High Bluff Drive, STE 400 Paul Ross (Senior Travel Photographer), Patricia Goldblatt, www.liberlincolnwmg.com www.liberlincolnwmg.com San CDiego, Jeffrey R Liber, CFP® Don Lincoln, CFP®, IMA® CA 92130 Pat Launer, Sharon Rosen Leib, Andrea Simantov, Managing Director-‐ Investments Senior Vice President-‐ Investments 858-523-7904 Jeffrey R Liber, CFP® DonLincoln, Lincoln, CFP®, CIMA®® ® ® Jeffrey RRMarnie Liber, Don CFP®, CIMA® CA Insurance Lic CFP® #0C28496 CA Rupp, Insurance LSaul ic CFP #0821851 Macauley, Rabbi Jacob Levine, Jeffrey Liber, CFP Don Lincoln, , CIMA Managing DirectorInvestments Senior Vice PresidentInvestments Managing DirectorInvestments Senior Vice PresidentInvestments jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com 12531 High Bluff Dr, Suite 400 Managing Director-Investments Senior President-Investments Rachael Eden, Sybil Kaplan. Insurance #0C28496 CAVice Insurance Lic#0821851 #0821851 Jeffrey R Liber, CFP® Don Lincoln, CIMA® CACA Insurance LicLic #0C28496 CA Insurance Lic San Diego,CFP®, CA 92130

CAjeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com Insurance Lic #0C28496 jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com Managing DirectorInvestments CA Insurance Alissa Waddell Lic #0C28496 Jeffrey.Liber@wfadvisors.com

don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com CA Insurance Lic #0821851 Senior Vice PresidentInvestments don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com

858-523-7913

Don.Lincoln@wfadvisors.com www.LiberLincoln WMG.com ADVERTISING REPRESENTATIVES Registered Client Associate AVP -‐ Registered Client Associate jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com CA insurance Lic Yesenia Gil#0178195 CA i nsurance L ic # 0I18483 Gina Grimmer Emily Saffa Patty Dutra Yesenia Gil Gina Grimmer Jonathan Ableson – Senior Account Executive Don Lincoln, CFP®, CIMA® R Liber, CFP® eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com Jeffrey alissa.waddell@wfadvisors.com Client Associate Registered Client Associate Financial Consultant Client Associate Senior Client Associate Registered Client Associate Managin g Grimmer Director-Inves tments Vice Fluent in President-Investments Spanish Yesenia Gil CA insurance Lic #O178195 Alan Moss – Palm Senior Springs Gina Fluent in Spanish CA insurance Lic #O178195 Gina Grimmer CA Insurance Lic #0821851

CAInsurance Insurance License #0I70215 858-523-7904 CA LicClient #0C28496 CAClient Insurance Lic #0821851 Associate yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com Registered Associate eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com Fluent Spanish CA insurance Lic #0178195 Emily.saffa@wfadvisors.com Investment and Insurance Products offered through affiliates: Patty.Dutra@wfadvisors.com !NOT FDIC in Insured !NO Bank Guarantee yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com SAN DIEGO JEWISH JOURNAL

!MAYeugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com Lose Value

Michelle Hasten Bluff Dr., Suite 400 (858) 638-9818 • fax: 12531 (858) High 638-9801 Senior Registered Client Associate San Diego, CA92130 5665LicOberlin Drive, Suite 204 • San Diego, 92121 CA Insurance Lic CA #0G75099 CA Insurance #O178195 CAInvestment Insurance Lic #0183194 858-523-7904 offered through affiliates: NOT FDIC Insured MAY NO Bank Investment and Insurance InsuranceProducts Products: NOT FDIC Insured NO Bank Guarantee LoseGuarantee Value zeebah.aleshi@wfadvisors.com gina.grimmer@wfadvisors.com MAY Lose Investment andValue Insurance Products: NOT FDIC Insured NO Bank Guarantee MAY Lose Value Michelle.Hasten@wfadvisors.com www.LiberLincolnWMG.COM

Zeebah Aleshi GinaFargo Grimmer Wells Advisors, LLC, Member SIPC, is a registered broker-dealer and a separate non-bank affiliate of Wells Fargo & Company. ©2009 Wells Consultant Fargo Advisors, LLC. All rights reserved. 88580 –v1 -0312-2590 (e7460) Senior Registered Client Associate Financial

EDITORIAL: editor@sdjewishjournal.com marke@sdjewishjournal.com CIRCULATION & SUBSCRIPTIONS: jableson@sdjewishjournal.com Wells Fargo Advisors is a trade name used by Wells Fargo Clearing Services, LLC, Member SIPC. ART DEPARTMENT: art@sdjewishjournal.com LISTINGS & CALENDAR: assistant@sdjewishjournal.com Client Associate ADVERTISING: Fluent in Spanish yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com

SDJJ is published monthly by San Diego Jewish Journal, LLC. Subscription rate is $24 for one year (12 issues). Send subscription requests to SDJJ, 5665 Oberlin Drive, Suite 204, San Diego, CA 92121. The San Diego Jewish Journal is a free and open forum for the expression of opinions. The opinions expressed herein are solely the opinion of the author and in no way reflect the opinions of the publishers, staff or advertisers. The San Diego Jewish Journal is not responsible for the accuracy of any and all information within advertisements. The San Diego Jewish Journal reserves the right to edit all submitted materials, including press releases, letters to the editor, articles and calendar listings for brevity and clarity. The Journal is not legally responsible for the accuracy of calendar or directory listings, nor is it responsible for possible postponements, cancellations or changes in venue. Manuscripts, letters, documents and photographs sent to the Journal become the physical property of the publication, which is not responsible for the return or loss of such material. All contents ©2019 by San Diego Jewish Journal. The San Diego Jewish Journal is a member of the American Jewish Press Association and the Jewish Telegraphic Agency.

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Tevet / Shevat 5780 SDJewishJournal.com 11

Learning From Patterns

question I saw posed in a number of the articles this month was “Am I

enough?” In Rachel Eden’s column, she writes, “And no matter how much I endeavor, a voice inside of me questions if all the people who I serve feel that my efforts, skills and resources were sufficient.” Andrea Simantov questions, “Do I have enough material?” And further considers her responsibility to be worthy of the privilege of sitting in front of a microphone for her radio show. In Rabbi Rupp’s column, he and his client consider what it means to be a failure or a success. These questions and these anxieties seem to be bubbling up here for many of us and not just our writers in San Diego. On one hand, perhaps it is healthy or even admirable to hold ourselves to high standards and keep pushing to improve ourselves. On the other, perhaps this pressure or failure of self esteem is a weight that might hold us back from reaching new potentials. I’m always stuck by Rabbi Rupp’s constant insistence that our innate goodness means that we are always valuable and worthy as we are. Further on in the aforementioned article, Rabbi Rupp plainly states, “I think that just by being my kids and being alive, they are wonderful. There’s no line to cross or hurdle to jump.”

Am I doing enough? Am I the person I want to be? What do I expect for myself? These questions aren’t new and they’re probably not going anywhere any time soon. Does standing on the other side of a new decade amplify our instinct to keep score? Another pattern that has stuck out to me in this issue is the word “community.” I’m having the feeling akin to how debating the pronunciation of a word and by saying the word so many times, it stops being a word and starts becoming a sound. The word “community” hasn’t stopped being a word, but the sound of it has grown louder with repetition. This issue is one of our education issues, so that shouldn’t be a surprise that the idea of creating a communal space is on the brain and our cover story is all about women supporting women and communitybuilding. And in some ways, the project of the whole magazine is community building. It is a magazine about San Diego Jews for San Diego Jews. It is creating a context and a history; it is creating a conversation for these articles and these people in these articles to talk to us, talk to each other, so that they might be greater than just the sum of their parts. How things connect to each other has always been a personal fascination of mine. Systems of any kind–in biology, language– are satisfying in how elegantly they dance together.

From The Editor 12 SDJewishJournal.com | January 2020

Without digressing into a vocabulary or etymology tangent, the idea of the verb counterpart of community, communing, is about connecting deeply with someone (of course with many religious uses). Sharing space on common ground is powerful and a feeling of belonging is powerful. Now, I wonder if there is perhaps a reason these two concepts (being enough and community) are sticking to me this month. Is it my compulsion to create connections at every opportunity? I leave you with my hypothesis: belonging and community are the antidote to feelings of unworthiness. Or perhaps a different phrasing of that could be: belonging and community are pillars of healthy self-image. I trend toward interest in questions rather than answers (and I believe strongly in taking the counsel of those wiser than me), so take a look in this issue and see how our writers and subjects handle this question. How are they creating community? What are they finding value in? A

Jacqueline Bull

Tevet / Shevat 5780 SDJewishJournal.com 13

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let us know what’s on your mind.

Send us your comments: editor@sdjewishjournal.com 5665 Oberlin Dr., Ste 204, San Diego, CA 92121

Please consider our guidelines for Letters to the Editor prior to submitting your comments: The San Diego Jewish Journal welcomes reader responses to articles. Due to space limitations, responses to articles cannot exceed 200 words and will be edited in coordination with the letter’s author and at the discretion of the editor and publishers. For readers who wish to submit multiple letters, we require three issue months to pass between published letters so as to make space for more reader responses. All readers can comment as often as they’d like in the comments section of our website, found at the bottom of every article on sdjewishjournal.com. Magazine articles are republished on the website at the beginning of each issue month.

14 SDJewishJournal.com | January 2020

On The Cover:

The Jewish Federation of San Diego’s OPTIONS – The Women’s Event, page 30. Pictured: Jodie Graber, Lisa Pearl and Marie Raftery. Photo by Lani Conklin.

Tevet / Shevat 5780 SDJewishJournal.com 15

online @sdjewishjournal.com

Israel will hold unprecedented third election in under a year Maybe the third time will be the charm. Israel will hold an unprecedented third election in less than a year after lawmakers failed to form a government coalition. The date of the next election is set for March 10. That makes it fall on the holiday of Purim– lawmakers are expected to stay through the night to negotiate moving the election date, however. Avigdor Liberman, head of the secular-right Yisrael Beiteinu party, could have given one of the two top parties a majority, but he withheld his support for either, demanding instead a unity government that involved them all together. Neither Netanyahu or Gantz was willing to compromise over a rotating premiership either. Netanyahu’s indictment a month ago on corruption charges added complications to the unity talks. Netanyahu was unwilling to step down as party leader following the indictment. His rivals within his Likud party said if he had stepped down, they could have formed a unity government without him–since Gantz had indicated a willingness to make a deal with a different Likud leader. On Dec. 11, Likud announced it would hold a party leadership vote on Dec. 26. The results of a third election are not expected to be substantially different than the previous two.The blocs are expected to stay basically the same, with 55 seats for the right, 57 for the left and center, and eight for Liberman. With an election set for the beginning of March, the earliest that a government is likely to be formed is sometime in April 2020. This means that Israel will have spent some 18 months under a caretaker government. 16 SDJewishJournal.com | January 2020

10 years after the founding of the first Orthodox school to train female clergy, what’s actually changed? The Conservative and Reform movements have been ordaining female rabbis for decades. But in the Orthodox world, women are barred from many ritual roles and all American seminaries decline to confer the title of rabbi on them. But in 2009, Sara Hurwitz made waves in the Orthodox community when she received ordination from Avi Weiss, a prominent liberal Orthodox rabbi. The ordination followed months of rumors about whether Weiss would take the controversial step of calling Hurwitz a rabbi–a move he ultimately declined to make, instead creating the title of maharat, a Hebrew acronym for “halachic, spiritual and Torah leader.” That year, Weiss and Hurwitz went on to found Yeshivat Maharat, an Orthodox seminary that trains women as spiritual leaders. Ten years later, 33 women have graduated from the school, including eight this summer–its largest class ever. All but one of the 33 are employed, according to the yeshiva. Yeshivat Maharat has been the target of much criticism. The school was condemned by the Rabbinical Council of America and the Orthodox Union adopted a policy prohibiting its synagogues from hiring female clergy. Graduates of Yeshivat Maharat get to choose their own titles. Sarna picked “rabbanit,” the Hebrew term traditionally used for a rabbi’s wife. The most popular choice is “rabba,” a feminized version of rabbi that Hurwitz ended up taking a year after her ordination. Others go by “rabbi,” “maharat” and “darshanit.” While some Maharat graduates lead communities on their own, those who serve in synagogue roles mainly do so under the direction of a senior male rabbi. It’s unclear whether such senior positions will be open to Maharat graduates in the future. “If I were a man, that would be obviously where I was headed,” Sara said. “And as a woman that just hasn’t happened yet, and will it happen in time for that to be what I do or what my friends do?”

Holocaust Museum of Buenos Aires rededicated following $4.5 million overhaul The Holocaust Museum of Buenos Aires was rededicated after a two-year, $4.5 million renovation and expansion. The project updates, modernizes and adds new spaces to the institution in the city center. of Buenos Aires. Among the new exhibitions are an interactive video interview tool to talk with a Holocaust survivor and documents from Nazi war criminal Adolf Eichmann’s life in Argentina. Newly reelected Buenos Aires Mayor Rodriguez Larreta said the city government helped sponsor renovations because the museum “is part of the value that we are proud of, the memory, the education on pluralism. The students of public and private schools of Buenos Aires will visit the modern new exhibition to learn from this history.”

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Tevet / Shevat 5780 SDJewishJournal.com 17 12/20/19 2:24 PM

our TOWN

BY LINDA BENNETT & EMILY BARTELL

The San Diego Center for Jewish Culture held its 4th Annual Tapestry: A Community Celebration of Jewish Learning on Nov. 17 at the Lawrence Family JCC. This special event included many worthwhile sessions led by a number of our community’s well-known speakers. One session we particularly enjoyed, “Degenerate Art: The Art that was Rejected by the Nazi Regime,” was presented by Guri Stark. With over 300 in attendance, some of those seen enjoying learning were: Shari Michlovitz, Myla Kelly, Yvonne Lazar, Jonathan Kanes, Steve & Suzie Schwartz, Todd Salovey, Jacqueline & David G’mach, Eric Weisman, Jack & Carol Kuppersmith, Jacqueline & Irv Jacobs, Ed Carnot and Sharon Finzi. Many thanks to Tapestry Chair Hannah Cohen and her committee for creating such a wonderful event. Camp Mountain Chai’s 5th Annual Gala, “Celebrate the Magic of Camp” was held on Nov. 17 at the Hilton on Mission Bay. It was a pleasure listening to Dante Grace speak on his personal camping experiences. This lovely evening co-chaired by David Bark & Theresa Dupuis included the surprising talents of illusionist Kevin Viner. He was amazing! Of those enjoying the evenings entertainment, we saw Gary Kornfeld, Marcia & David Wollner, Beth & Adam Weissman, Thalia & Shanon Prum, Cynthia & Howard Fram, Barbara & Larry Sherman, Nili Mathews, Lisa & Elsa Kalal, Alan & Nanci Nevin, Deena & Todd Kobernick and Miriam Norten & Alex Stolarski. The Men’s Event Powered by the Jewish Federation of San Diego County was held on Dec. 8 at the Hilton La Jolla in Torrey Pines. It was co-chaired by Larry Katz, Seth Krosner, Danny Recht and Robert Rubinstein and there were over 600 in attendance (including women). The evening included featured speakers Marc Potash and Erez Shlain in from Israel and a special performance by renowned comedian and actor MODI. It was truly interesting to attend this event for the first time and run into many friends, including Bernardo Bicas, Rabbi Ralph Dalin, Todd Frank, Matt Graber, Jeff Grad, Milton Krasner, David Amos, Bob Silverman, Yoni Breziner, Avi Avgil, Phil Johnson, Mitch Dubick, Gary Shekhter, Alan Viterbi, Ron Zollman, Sandy Roseman, Jeremy Pearl, Sol Kempinski, Judi Gottschalk, Silvana Christy and Gary Hirschfeld.

Larry Sherman, Charlene Seidle and Jerry Turk.

Gary Kornfeld and Theresa Dupuis, Richard Dupuis (son).

Yom Huledets Sameach to…

Amnon Ben-Yehuda celebrating his 90th birthday. Hamilton Loeb celebrating his 95th birthday. Herb Lubick celebrating his 83rd birthday. Ken Ohlbaum celebrating his 80th birthday.

Mazel Tov to…

Ed & Elfriede Schloss on their 73rd wedding anniversary. Ted & Anabel Mintz on their 69th wedding anniversary. Gail & Tom Pliner on their 57th wedding anniversary. Brennan Kahn and Katie Coreas on the occasion of their marriage on Dec. 15. Brennan is the son of Pepe Kahn and Bob Kahn.

18 SDJewishJournal.com | January 2020

Todd and Deena Kobernick, Mary Lynn and Larry Weitzen.

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Carter Feinman on becoming a Bar Mitzvah this past July in Jerusalem. Parents Jessica & Michael Feinman along with grandparents Lesley & David Cohn and many proud family members looked on with pride.

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Mattan & Shiraz, granddaughters of Richard & Rhona Gordon, on being called to the Torah on Aug. 31 as B’not Mitzvah in LA. Doriane & Josie Zubkoff on being called to the Torah as a B’not Mitzvah on Nov. 23 at Temple Emanu-El. Proud parents are David Zubkoff & Amy Blum. A

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the SCENE

STORY BY ALEX WEHRUNG. PHOTOS COURTESY OF ADOPT A FAMILY FOUNDATION.

L-R: Debra Rosen and Committee Member Veronique Benchimol.

L-R: Carine Chitayat, Co Chairs and Committee Members Julie Rosoff and Robyn Rapoport.

Adopt a Family Foundation Holiday Boutique

As part of its relentless mission to help people in Israel who have been affected by terror, the Adopt a Family Foundation held its annual fundraising Holiday Boutique on Dec. 3. The money raised from the event hosted at the Morgan Run Club and Resort in Rancho Santa Fe will provide extra therapy sessions, activities and workshops to adopted families and children suffering from PTSD.

Girls from the Bat Mitzvah Club at Chabad Rancho Santa Fe.

The Boutique featured a wide variety of vendors selling clothing, jewelry, homeware, treats, holiday gifts and more. Girls from the Bat Mitzvah Club of Chabad Rancho Santa Fe donated challah bread they made as part of their Bat Mitzvah project, to be sold at the bake sale. Musical duo Yael & Vlady performed while the attendees browsed the Boutique. In the past year, Adopt a Family has also adopted a new family, provided a summer camp for 150 children, sponsored a therapeutic workshop, provided financial support to 17 adopted families over the holidays, offered a scholarship to an adopted family and invited six Israeli teens to a week-long retreat in San Diego. A

20 SDJewishJournal.com | January 2020

L-R: Brit Rubenstein, Teri Naftalin and Debbie Kornberg.

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PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT AND JUDAISM

THIS WAY TO EDEN by Rachel Eden rachel.s.eden@gmail.com

2020 Vision

often end my workday wondering if I did enough. I’ve worked in various Jewish nonprofits (with a focus on outreach and/ or education) for the past 16 years and no matter how much I endeavor, a voice inside of me questions if all of the people who I serve feel that my efforts, skills and resources were sufficient. As a school administrator, I have many customers. I work for the children, parents, teachers, my administrative colleagues, my head of school, the members of the school board and our donors. Ensuring every child is best set up for success while supporting each teacher and simultaneously serving all of the parents are goals that don’t always align. I tend to hold on to the moments when I can’t meet someone’s needs far more than the many times I can. I have been afforded a rare juxtaposition in perspective. I work as an administrator in the same school I taught. I graduated from that school and am a parent to a modest brood of children who attend that school. More specifically, I’m a preschool, grade school and middle school parent. In addition to my various roles at school, I have worked for a synagogue and paid membership to a synagogue. I have attended board meetings and sat at both sides of the conference table. I have attended Jewish retreats as a participant and as an organizer and coach. I have shared feedback (good and bad) and have received feedback (good and bad). I really am able to perceive a situation from multiple angles because my view adjusts with my different positions. 22 SDJewishJournal.com | January 2020

My husband is a rabbi and our pillow talk often centers around our family’s Judaism as well as our own. We share with each other our hopes for ourselves and our families as well as our concerns when those dreams appear thwarted by the many factors that make up our environment. As Jewish community professionals, we immediately shift into “fix” mode when we encounter these challenges. We brainstorm how to strengthen and enrich our (and our children’s) Jewish experiences. Additionally, we hear from friends and acquaintances who feel marginalized, antagonized, frustrated, and disappointed by Jews, Judaism, and the brick and mortar institutions that are built to merge the two. The “fix” mode turns on for others as well. Orthodox Jews made you feel excluded? We can fix that! We’re Orthodox Jews who don’t discriminate based on affiliation, race, age, or sexual/gender orientation. Shabbat leaves you feeling like you don’t belong to the tribe? Come for a Shabbat meal or let’s volunteer for synagogue events, so we create more opportunities to build relationships. Your children aren’t thriving at school? Let’s create a list of all the ways we can bridge social, physical, or cognitive gaps so they can succeed. The goal isn’t so much to solve anything as much as to become solution-oriented people. Perhaps I am far more immersed in these issues than most of my readers. Still, the underlying challenge can apply in all areas of life. We are all vulnerable to feelings of

despair from our work environments, our homes, and our friendships. We may not notice the internal progression from being mildly irritated to acutely miserable. Insidiously, all the (many!) corners of our frustrations can creep up until we feel drowned in a sea of misery. For this new decade of 2020, perhaps we can restore our 20/20 “vision” and clear away the negativity on our lens. What if we observe the current tapestry of our lives (so last year!) and resolve to weave a new one? The external details matter less and the perspective matters more. In fact, we all have the power to will an entirely new reality into existence well before 2021. We can train ourselves to grow into miserable or happy people. That choice is made each day, at every moment, when we answer the question: What is our focus? We have a choice to speak about others with abundant or miserly compassion. We have a choice to think about life’s roadblocks as oppressive or as an opportunity. This year, I hope to satisfy all of the big and small customers in my life and solve all the challenges that are sure to emerge. When I’m not able to change the circumstances, then my New Year’s resolution is to create my own version of the serenity prayer by replacing my worries with assurances and my question, “Did I do enough?” with a more profound statement, “I am enough.” A

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858-842-1600 Tevet / Shevat 5780 SDJewishJournal.com 23

ISRAELI LIFESTYLE

LIVING ON THE FRONT PAGE by Andrea Simantov andreasimantov@gmail.com

Better Together

ednesday night sleep is typically poor because I host a Thursday morning radio show that causes me tension in the middle-of-the-night hours proceeding the broadcast: Do I have enough material? Am I trying to accomplish too much? Am I getting too preachy? Am I too politically correct? Do my positions offend, respectively, religious Jews, secularists, gays, heterosexuals, Christians, Muslims, millennials, Sephardim and/or Ashkenazim? Station management has installed sophisticated monitoring devices and I enjoy discovering where listeners tune in from. English speaking countries like the U.S., Canada, England, Australia and South Africa comprise a large percentage of the audience, but I seem to have a regular live-following from Germany, Cyprus, South America, Nigeria, Russia, Kenya and Pakistan. These are the folks who tune into the Chat Room and personally wish me “Shabbat Shalom” in real time. In total, there are approximately 170 nations who listen to the weekly broadcasts and it seems that a good many are not Jewish. Imagine! All of the hosts are religiously observant, minimally ‘right of center’ politically (if not completely) off of the map, and a large following is Christian. Many are Messianic, Noahide, Muslim and not a few are in the process of converting to Judaism. The letters I receive are frequently inspiring, occasionally humorous (to me) and always, ALWAYS rife with passion. Some of them are very long winded and encourage me to open my heart to Christ. I answer each letter respectfully and express gratitude. After all, if I were to alienate my 24 SDJewishJournal.com | January 2020

I actually pray before each show. I ask G-d for guidance, compassion, clarity, wisdom and humility. Tall order, for sure, but sitting at a microphone is a gift, a gift to be treasured and handled with elegance. There is enough arrogance in every corner of society. audience, I wouldn’t remain on the air. Occasionally I receive a very angry note, sometimes vitriolic and designed to wound. Apparently I touched some raw nerves after my show on Poland’s defensive reaction to being labeled Nazi collaborators and the role that Poland played in the slaughter of approximately three million Jews. It mattered little that the term ‘Polish Death Camps’ was initially uttered by a quick-to-apologize Barack Obama. These notes hurt because the little girl in me is still a ‘people pleaser.’ I am not impervious to personal attacks and my style is not like the Shock Jocks that pepper the airways. I actually pray before each show. I ask G-d for guidance, compassion, clarity,

wisdom and humility. Tall order, for sure, but sitting at a microphone is a gift, a gift to be treasured and handled with elegance. There is enough arrogance in every corner of society. Mainstream Jewish media–print and electronic–point to a growing disconnect between Jews of the Diaspora and those who live in Israel. Some believe that this merely reflects business as usual but, due to the Internet, arguments and ideas are easily disseminated. Others say that the current Washington administration has fostered intolerance and hatred between neighbors and this is why schools have become armed camps and Jews cannot walk unafraid in Brooklyn, Philadelphia and on the campus of Columbia University. Upon leaving Egypt and the behest of a frantic and disgusted Pharoah, only 20% of the Jewish nation departed. The remaining Hebrews assimilated into the host culture, their root nationhood evaporating into historical oblivion. Those who crossed the Red Sea and sojourned toward the Promised Land were the best and bravest remnants of our forefathers. Any Jew alive today is a miraculous survivor of improbable odds and–instead of berating one another–it might behoove us to celebrate our magical existence, celebrate our differences and achingly strive to find commonalities that strengthen our respective bonds. Because even if we forget from where we came, there is a large, loud and angry populace ready–and remarkably willing–to remind us. Again and again.A

Tevet / Shevat 5780 SDJewishJournal.com 25

EXAMINED LIFE

OUR EMOTIONAL FOOTPRINT by Saul Levine, M.D., Professor Emeritus in Psychiatry at UCSD slevine@ucsd.edu

America’s Gun Culture: Infatuation, Fetish or Curse? Editor’s Note: This piece was written on December 9th, before the attack in Jersey City occurred.

awoke this morning to the breaking news of another shooting in America with multiple victims. People are shocked (yet again), so we can take solace that at least this hadn’t yet become “ho-hum, meh” news. But how often does this tragedy have to occur before we and our legislators honor the victims and ourselves by eradicating this social malignancy? I immigrated to the United States 26 years ago, where I’d been offered a professional opportunity. I was enthused about moving to a country which had represented idealism and been a beacon of welcome to millions of immigrants. I was also wary because America had become infamous for its “gun culture,” easily available weapons and ammunition, and frequent shootings and killings. It was unnerving that in my first week here there was a school shooting in my new home town, and I was to give a prearranged lecture on “Violence in America.” I wondered whether this was mere serendipity, or ominous synchronicity. Fast forward to the present, and if anything, gun violence in this country is even worse. Nowhere else in the world, except for battlegrounds and war zones, is there a country with such alarming numbers of injuries and deaths due to firearms. How is it possible that this singular country, with its enviable freedoms and achievements, its great discoveries in the sciences, its creativity in the arts and letters, its prodigious output and wealth, its remarkable educational institutions and record number of Nobel Laureates has a gun-caused death rate that is well beyond the realm of comparison with any other civilized countries? The following statistics are valid and verifiable, yet almost unimaginable: There were 35,000 gun-related fatalities in the U.S. last year. Americans are 10 times more likely to be killed by guns than people in all other developed countries. The Ameri-

26 SDJewishJournal.com | January 2020

can gun-related murder rate is 25 times higher and gun-related suicide rate eight times higher than in any other high-income nations. The U.S. owns half of all the guns in the world, with civilian gun ownership rates in the stratosphere compared to other developed countries. Sad to say, we all recall, with shudders, the names of schools which were scenes of mass shootings over the last few years: Sandy Hook; Columbine; Parkland; Virginia Tech; Saugus… Had enough? I could readily list many more, but this would be too painful a task, with too heavy a heart. Have we learned nothing? I ask because in 46 weeks this year thus far, there have already been 45 school shootings and 369 mass shootings in this country, all with heartbreaking personal and family stories. Thus, I cannot for the life of me understand, “WHY IS THIS HAPPENING?!” and “WHY ONLY IN AMERICA?!” WHY are/is: Guns so easily available here? Politicians so loath to regulate and control the availability/accessibility to guns? So many of our lawmakers in the sway (and pocket) of the National Rifle Association (NRA)? The Second Amendment (enabling the arming of militias) so entrenched in the American psyche? (Even so, why not keep that Amendment, but add regulations to prevent weapons falling into the hands of children, or mentally disturbed, violent, racist or other dangerous individuals?) Semi-automatic or battlefield (military) weapons openly bought and sold, and in the possession of everyday citizens? Ongoing active trainings for children in elementary, middle and high schools and colleges (and suggestions to “arm the teachers!”) for protection from the “next shooter” who

arrives? This is less consciousness-raising and protective than it is fearmongering, panic-inducing and dangerous. Physicians, epidemiologists and other scientists forbidden from pursuing federally funded research on gun violence, although this is a true Public Health Epidemic and a social Tragedy and Travesty? As a psychiatrist, I can confidently say it is not that we have a higher incidence of mental illness here. So why do we have so many guns and shooters? Is this a product of our Second Amendment? Our Wild West history? Is it our worship of individualism? Our antipathy to government control and regulations? If it is true that guns make men (vastly more than women) feel safer, more powerful or perhaps more virile, why is this valid only in America? Why then is this not the case for men in England, Sweden, Canada, Germany, Israel, Japan, China, France, South Africa, Australia...? We obviously cannot prevent all shootings, but there is strong evidence that we can dramatically reduce the numbers of these tragic occurrences. In countries which have introduced new strict regulation of firearms, there have been significant drops in the occurrence of mass and individual murders and the incidents of self-harm and domestic violence using guns. But not in America. “Only in America” used to be said with wonderment and awe. The United States has recently become increasingly at odds with previous allies and progressive nations for many reasons. The widespread uncontrolled abuse of weapons here in America is just one of many degrading aspects of our country’s recent demeanor. This regrettable part of our current culture has greatly reduced our civility and compassion and our once-inspirational leadership position. Surely, we are better than this. A

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RELIGION

POST-POLITICAL by Rabbi Jacob Rupp rabbirupp@gmail.com

Rewriting What It Means To Be A Success Or Failure

client of mine lamented that he was a failure. He wasn’t the man he used to be. He shouldn’t have the money problems he was having, and at his stage of the game his business should be somewhere else. These kinds of thoughts make me chomp at the bit. I was thrilled. As someone who is no stranger to negative beliefs, self-sabotage, and someone who desperately wants to be in charge of his thoughts, I felt I could offer him some insight through the forms of questions. What I didn’t want to do is to convince him he was wrong. Potentially, he was, as he suggested, a failure. So, I asked him what it meant to be successful. Clearly it didn’t mean (in his mind) being happily married after two plus decades, which he was. It didn’t mean being a great father (which he was), nor did it mean working for himself and making his own hours (which he did). Really all it meant was a dollar amount (which I didn’t know but he must) and a recognition that he wasn’t there. My client (let’s call him David) was taken aback. “Slow down” he protested. "I do think that success means a good marriage, a good family and doing work that I enjoy and being able to live my life the way I want." When I asked him about money, he told me that idea that a certain dollar amount is the definition of success didn’t really come from him, but from his dad. Having worked with high net worth individuals now for years, this is a common theme. People work hard to please their parents. To prove to their parents that they aren’t failures. That they would amount to something. And another com-

28 SDJewishJournal.com | January 2020

mon theme is that people who make money to prove they aren’t failures rarely get that pat on the back from whomever they were trying to impress and the validation that “hey son, now that you’ve made 30 million, you’re a worthwhile person.” As a father myself, I never want my children to feel like I don’t think they are successful. In fact, I should be the one person (hopefully there are more) who my kids can count on as always thinking they are wonderful and successful. I think that just by being my kids and being alive, they are wonderful. There’s no line to cross or hurdle to jump. They’ve been perfect since they were born and their achievements don’t impact their intrinsic worth as people. Oftentimes people who try hard to reach benchmarks for their parent’s approval won’t ever be successful because parents who can’t approve of their children aren’t doing it because they aren’t reaching benchmarks. Its because they have their own deep-seated issues, usually, that prevents them from parenting properly. So I suggested to my client that perhaps he needs to learn how to parent himself and to approve of himself instead of hopelessly awaiting his father’s approval that may never come. Circling back, I laid out an interesting scenario. I’m a failure as a Christian. I’m a failure as an Olympic swimmer. Neither of these things cause me one iota of frustration or pain because I don’t care about being Christian or about swimming. Now if I wanted to learn to swim, great. I can do that. However, my intrinsic worth isn’t attached to it. The idea that I am trying to get across to

my client, and oftentimes to myself, is that no external thing is going to dictate if we are failures or successes as people. And oftentimes, we are already succeeding at the things we really care about, because we put effort into it (because we care about it). Outside of that, the lack in our life just has to do with decisions we’ve made and we can be strategic about how we address the challenge instead of lapsing into some fatalistic and depressing perspective of how our lack is indicative of some greater failure as a person. So I told him look, you’re successful based on the demographics you set out for yourself. You want to be a good husband? Do you think you’re a good husband? Same with being a good father? He answered in the affirmative. He’s got the life he wants. He’s succeeded where he thinks it matters. Once he sees himself as successful, we can address the money challenge for what it is; a challenge and not a validation of his essence. Ultimately, this is the secret. Choose what you want to be successful in (which is what you really care about) and build your self-esteem around that. Look at everything else from a detached and strategic standpoint instead of deeming it an indication of your value as a human being. As such, you can start to attract and build the things in your life, not because you need them, but because you want them. When you want something, but you’re already a good enough and successful enough person, you can get what you want and it only serves to enhance your life instead of define it. A

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| FEATURE |

Sowing the Seeds of Community BY JACQUELINE BULL Lisa Pearl, Jodie Graber and Marie Raftery.

he Jewish Federation of San Diego’s OPTIONS–The Women’s Event is the largest gathering of Jewish women in San Diego. This year the event will be on Feb. 2 and co-chaired by Lisa Pearl and Marie Raftery. “What could be more exciting than 600 women in a room together?” Marie Raftery said. Jodie Graber is the Senior Director of Philanthropy at Federation and expressed that she feels inspired being surrounded by the dynamic and engaged women of the Women’s Philanthropy board. “And the way that they all sort of come together and work together–I’m just–I haven’t had a job like this. I’ve been working in nonprofits for 20 years. I’ve worked in the arts, I’ve worked in social services, I’ve worked for a lot of different types of organizations and 30 SDJewishJournal.com | January 2020

there is something special that happens at a Federation within women’s philanthropy that is unique and just really special,” Jodie said. “I feel like we are all working together very closely to ultimately benefit the community. And I really believe that a rising tide lifts all ships and I think that is true here,” she said. Jodie added that the event was about the power of the larger community and the many different organizations, not just about Federation. “On a personal note, I think for me, I want people to feel like they can connect to Jewish community in whatever way that looks like for them. Whether camp is their thing, whether their synagogue is their thing, or Federation, or the JCC, whatever organization or group that is for them, I really want everyone to find their own Jewish place with-

in the community,” she said. Writer, comedian and multi-hyphenate Carol Leifer is the keynote speaker. (Some of her notable writing credits include “Seinfeld,” “Saturday Night Live” and “Curb Your Enthusiasm.”) “It is going to be exciting to see her and hear from her. And her own philanthropy is really important to her, so beyond just being a funny lady, I think we can expect to hear more about what inspires her to give and why she is committed to philanthropy,” Jodie added. One of the themes of this year’s OPTIONS is Tu B’Shevat (The New Year for Trees). Co-chair Marie’s perspective on this is that it represents the Jewish people as a tree of life, with Holocaust surivors as the root or the core.

PHOTO BY LANI CONKLIN.

“I feel like a connected community is really important. One community. One Jewish community each doing individual things. Federation certainly has different aspects that it does than Jewish Family Service, but for instance, the work that they are doing with Holocaust survivors, they are doing together,” Marie said. Part of the mission of OPTIONS is to educate people on what is happening in different corners of the community and Marie hopes that people will find new opportunities that speak to them. Marie explained that having different organizations serving different age groups or stages of life for the Jewish community is vital for supporting and growing that community. From Shalom Baby, Little Mensches and PJ Library for the youngest group; the camps and San Diego Jewish

Their Take On Their Personal Philanthropy

Team Initiative for the teens; to a cohort of new leaders in their 30s and 40s doing philanthropy, “That is the idea to build a lasting community, growing community.” Fellow chair Lisa Pearl echoed the sentiment of seriously focusing and highlighting the community aspect. “This is our community event. This isn’t an event for high-level donors,” she said. She considers the event a major part of the fabric of the community of Jewish women in San Diego. The energy of all the women together in one room is “something that strikes me every year as being a really powerful experience … I always leave that event energized by that.” Energized and also humbled by it, she said, “My name is on the event. Marie’s name is on the event, but because of that feeling, I really don’t feel like it is my event. I strongly feel that the event is owned by all of those participants, all of those women that are there creating that positive energy.” A positive energy that she hopes might stimulate an appetite for a little extra. “I really hope that people come away from the event wanting more and that can be different depending on who you are. You know, more of what we will be doing in that room, on a Sunday morning in early February which to me is to bring together women to celebrate being together, to celebrate their power, collectively and individually and to inspire each other with the possibility that is within each of us … So it may mean making a mental note to attend OPTIONS next year or maybe be a table caption, it may mean deciding to surround yourself with your friends and your colleagues more this year, so you don’t only see them once a year, or it may mean getting involved and giving more of your time and treasure to Federation or other organizations that help people in need and help people build community that I think everybody yearns for.” It is a convergence of feeling a part of something and helping others. “This experience fulfills these human needs in all of us.” A

“One of the reasons I decided to serve as a board member [for Diversionary Theatre] even though obviously my job is not Monday-Friday 9-5 between the arts and fundraising and everything else, but the reason I am committed to serving on that board is because so many of my lay leaders or volunteers are so committed that I felt like, ‘How can I ask them to contribute their time and contribute their money and contribute everything that they are contributing without doing the same myself?’ So I feel really strongly about sort of I’m not asking you to do anything I wouldn’t do personally … I feel strongly about the arts and the LGBTQ community and this is my way of being able to have a foot in that world.” - Jodie Graber “I joke, but I say it is like the Hotel California, you can get in, but you can never get out because it just becomes a joyful experience. I find that giving back. I find being part of the community. I find making a little bit of a difference. You know we talk about tzedakah and we say,‘Tzedakah we’re going to save the world,’ but we’re not. We’re going to do one person, one good deed, one act at a time. That part is so rewarding and makes me so joyful and it encourages you to continue.” - Marie Raftery “Part of my own personal motivation is that I am committed to leading by example for my own family … so lately I’ve been very excited to see the seeds that we’re sowing and taking root and–not that I get all the credit for this at all–my oldest daughter Olivia was the song leader at Camp Mountain Chai last summer, and she also does the music for Friday night services at her hillel at UW Madison and also a home for seniors. And my middle daughter Rebecca, who is a senior in high school, is involved as an executive committee member at the JFS teen leadership group and she is involved in TAG (Teens About Goodness), and YAM (Youth Action Movement) and she’ll go on the March of the Living this spring. And my youngest daughter Ella is already showing her leadership stripes by singing at large gatherings of the San Diego interfaith community, and signing during services of our synagogue, which is Ner Tamid and then as well as reading torah at services which is a highly demanding and unusual thing to do at age 11 … It is like every mother’s dream and–again, not that I can take full credit for that–but I’m hoping that by engaging myself and leading by example that I’m paving the way in some sense for them to blossom as Jewish leaders in their own right.” - Lisa Pearl Tevet / Shevat 5780 SDJewishJournal.com 31

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EDUCATION

San Diego Jewish Academy: Center for Learning, Kindness and Growth BY ALEX WEHRUNG

ntrepreneur Jonny Simkin founded his first company with the intent of distributing a database of college textbooks prices, in an effort to help college students alleviate some of the financial burden of their education. After that, the Harvey Mudd graduate founded Swiftly, a company that sells software to transit professionals. Jonny said he has the San Diego Jewish Academy’s strong academic program and ethical teachings to thank for his current professional skill-set, which allowed him to start up his two companies. He refers to himself as a ‘lifer’, having attended from every grade all the way through to his high-school graduation in 2006. “I loved the school,” he said. “I had a great experience there.” Jonny got to see the school evolve, having spent time at three different campuses from years ago. The Academy was initially located at Congregation Beth El in La Jolla, before it had a high school. Jonny relocated to a temporary campus in Carmel Valley before the current incarnation of the Academy was opened. “The Jewish Academy really instilled a sense of purpose in how to learn effectively,” he said, along with a set of shared values. “I really, actually appreciate the way that the school really reinforced what it was like to be a good person. And I think that served me really well.” When Jonny was in college at Harvey Mudd, he heard a lot of stories from people that experienced bullying in public-school. “The Jewish Academy is very respectful, and

a really good place to foster relationships, lasting relationships, especially around people supporting one another,” he said. According to Chaim Heller, the Academy’s head, prescribing a sense of ethics is one of the Academy’s primary goals. “Our mission is to have our students grow, to contribute to society, to be well-rounded and healthy 35-year-olds with a deep understanding of Jewish tradition and Jewish values that helps them … not to maintain Judaism, or Jewish people as a tribe, but rather, take the ideas and live a better life because of it.” Chaim hopes that when current students become parents, they will continue to pass down the values the school has taught them. However, getting children to treat one another with kindness and respect isn’t something that just happens. The school’s social and emotional programs fight what Chaim referred to as the tyrannies of friendship and popularity, and teaches students to be allies and advocates. In short, to be kind. A valuable virtue to have, especially at a school where students come from different backgrounds. The school’s culture is diverse; over 1/3 of the students speak Spanish at home (some of the Spanish families are from Mexico City), there are LGBTQ+ families and Jewish children of color. Chaim says that they are united through a figurative language. “That’s the language of ethics, of doing the right thing, of doing the right thing even when it’s hard, even when it’s difficult, even when nobody’s looking. So there is a cultural

expectation when you come to school, of being a mensch.” To that end, students can participate in a Tamchui project, which has eighth-graders serve as proxies for one of five charitable organizations. In addition, middle school and high school students are required to perform a set number of hours for a Tikkun Olam project; this is a graduation requirement. To keep up with changing times and to accommodate the students’ needs, the campus itself keeps on expanding, which has been possible, in part, thanks to the success of the Open Door program. For those who qualify, Open Door allows families to send them to the Academy at halfprice tuition. Four of the 13 grades will be eligible this year, and Chaim hopes it will be six by next year, then all grades from then on. As it stands, the program has led to an increase in attendance at the Academy by 600 students. This is what has allowed the Academy to further develop its campus; more students equals more demand. “We need a theatre,” Chaim said. “We have a lot of students who want to be part of a theatre program, so we are in the final stages of designing a performing arts auditorium on-campus.” An innovation center–where students will be able to practice and work with augmented reality, virtual reality and other technologies– is also in development. Chaim hopes that the ground-breaking for both these projects, as well as redesigns for both the library and the student center will be complete by March Tevet / Shevat 5780 SDJewishJournal.com 33

2020, in time for the next school year. Chaim compared the campus’s evolution with Netflix’s meteoric success, noting how the company went from a DVD rental company to a streaming platform and is now a major movie studio. “They’re succeeding because they’re able to read the tea leaves and understand where the market is going. “That’s what we’re trying to do. We’re trying to read the tea leaves, trying to take long-standing Jewish ideas and values and bring them to a different population than perhaps we would need to bring them to in the 1980s, when the school began.” The Academy’s curriculum certainly sets itself apart from other schools with the inclusion of AR and VR technology. Using hardware like the Oculus virtual-reality headset, students can communicate with students around the world and interact in foreign classrooms. The Academy has incorporated such advanced technology into its curriculum in order to keep up with the changing times. Whereas students used to learn about geography and the Internet, now all that information is instantly available to them. To help make up for this, students are being prepared for the professional world by being taught “how to collaborate with each other, we’re teaching them how to work in a team. We’re teaching them how to communicate effectively with each other.” The school also puts an emphasis on “presentation and public speaking and performance; one of the reasons we need a performing arts auditorium is because we recognize that students need to be able to not just have the great ideas, but to be able to present them in a compelling way … technologically, but also personally.” Chaim noted that a significant number of graduates have gone on to become entrepreneurs like Jonny Simkin, who said if he were to

leverage any advice to current and future Academy students, it would be to push themselves. “I think the Jewish Academy has all of the raw ingredients to make students successful in whatever direction they want to grow in their life and in their career,” Jonny said, “but at the end of the day, it’s up to a student to be able to leverage what is available to them. “And so the Jewish Academy has, I’d say, the right ecosystem in place, but each student needs to learn how to take advantage of that. So I encourage people to push themselves past–maybe–the limits that they’re comfortable with.” “The teachers are there to make all of the students successful. And I really want to make sure that the students take advantage of that and really work with the staff to be able to grow in whatever direction they see fit.” As for Chaim Heller, he unfortunately won’t be able to watch the rest of the school’s ongoing development from his Pez dispenser-populated office; he is retiring at the end of the school year. When asked what he would look back on most fondly, he said one thing would be all the nice people who populate the school. “The school attracts people who are–whether it’s our faculty or parents–positive about life and positive about possibilities. It’s a very young place. “The people here, the attitudes and the approaches everyone has is very optimistic and very forward-thinking. And it’s just a joy, truly a joy, to walk into a building or a series of buildings every day and be surrounded by people who are just so upbeat and happy about what it is that they’re doing.” “It’s just a wonderful, warm place.” A

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Remembering a Jewish Cultural Icon: Gertrude Berg MARNIE MACAULEY

oo-hoo, Mrs. Bloom!” It all started with those few words. The sitcom. From a character who was quintessentially, boldly, proudly and loudly, Jewish. More, she was a Jewish immigrant. Hear those words, and you instantly know the source (assuming you’re old enough to know that a muuu muuu isn’t the sound a cow makes): Molly Goldberg! The very first Jewish character on what many consider to be America’s first sitcom who fixed everyone and everything from her family, to her neighbor Mrs. Bloom, to the world, in her broken Yiddishe “hecsent.” For over 20 years, “Yoo-hoo...” was a national buzz-phrase, muttered by Americans– from Jews and Italians in New York, to the Irish in Boston, to Scandinavians in Minneapolis (to Jews again in L.A.). America met the Goldbergs on radio’s Blue Network in Nov. 1929, three weeks after Black Friday. Jake was the husband, a “cloakand-suit operator.” There was Sammy, the son, Rosalie the daughter, and Uncle David, along with friends popping in to visit Molly in Apartment 3-B, 1030 E. Tremont Ave., the Bronx. From this unlikely location, Mol-

ly dispensed her exasperation, concern and Jewish wisdom in her often hysterically funny “hecsent” that was filled with malaprops. Molly, through her Mollyisms, or cracked Yinglish, “shmoozed” common sense, wisdom, and compassion to further her “fix-it” mission. It’s late, Jake, and time to expire. – Mollyism During the 1930’s America fell in love with this immigrant family and followed their bold nationwide portrayal of Jews and Jewish life through to 1950s television. This was an amazing feat as initially the show went unsponsored, given its Jewish theme. Yet, by 1932, “The Goldbergs” was one of the two or three most popular shows on radio. In 1936, it moved from evenings to days. After 16 years, the show ended its radio run and moved to the infant medium of television in 1949. Throw an eye into the icebox and give me an accounting. – Mollyism Unlike Molly, the character she played, Gertrude Berg was highly literate. The only child of Dinah and Jacob Edelstein, Gertrude, born in Harlem in 1899, honed her talent

at her parents’ Catskills resort, Fleischmann’s, where as a teenager she entertained guests by writing and performing skits. It was also where she met her husband, Lewis Berg, a chemical engineer. The couple went on to have two children, Cherney Robert in 1922, and Harriet, in 1926. In 1929, she submitted her script for a daily unlikely radio show called "The Rise of the Goldbergs" and so began one of the longest and most successful runs in media history. Berg went on to be not only a star, but the first female “hyphenate” as creator-writer-actor, long before the Streisands, Roseannes, Mary Tyler Moores and Goldie Hawns. Even today, few, if any, have the control she had in her executive and creative roles. Concerned about Fascism in the '30s and the welfare of European Jews, Berg was active in many Jewish groups, before, during and after World War II. More, despite intense pressure from the network and advertisers, she did take a stand against the blacklist when co-star Philip Loeb was targeted. He chose to leave the show and received a large severance package; however, tragically, he took his own life. Tevet / Shevat 5780 SDJewishJournal.com 37

And dat’s bizness? It’s slavery–just like in “Oncle Tom’s Cabinet!” – Mollyism How was it possible for a Jewish family to become not just a hit, but the prototype of a new genre, with an audience of Gentiles; for Jews and non-Jews alike to laugh with, not at her? And how did Berg accomplish this in the 1930s, when the world–and the country–was rife with anti-Semitism; where Jews had trouble getting jobs and many restaurants, hotels and clubs had “No Jews or Dogs Allowed” signs hanging in their windows? Vat’s de matter, so late, Sammy? Let me look at your hands. Playing marbles, ha? A marble shooter you’re gonna be? A beautiful business for a Jewish boy! – Mollyism “The Goldbergs,” under Berg’s brilliant direction, did what few sitcoms have managed to do since: portray Jewish life with heart, warmth, and humor, but without mockery. In creating “The Goldbergs,” she allowed Molly to speak for all first and second-generation immigrants of every ethnicity. The timing, following the second great wave of immigration to the United States, was perfect. These families, whether Jewish, Irish, Italian or Russian were struggling with the same issues: assimilation, old vs. new values and having to take the hand of their children in this new land, during a period of depression. America loved Molly because Americans knew her, or someone like her. Whether they spoke Yinglish, Italiadish, or Eiredish, it was all Ameridish. Her Jewish humor reflected their trials, hopes, compassion, common sense, and above all patriotism, making their journey personal, amenable, and funny. Is there a better way to impart knowledge of the human condition? Mr. Policeman, officer of the law, your honor, could you be so kindly if you would inform me of the location of where is 14th St.? – Mollyism American Jews were proud of Molly. Few decried the stereotypical accents and images. For the first time in history, our heritage was brought to the forefront of mainstream culture in a gentle, respectful vehicle, that was also fearless, satirical, and wise–which are the kishkes of most good Jewish humor. Through Molly, we also saw how, in the 38 SDJewishJournal.com | January 2020

right hands, the truth of our ethnicity, could entertain, inform, and strike a universal chord. Without Berg’s courage and risk, today’s Jewish comedians would be playing to an audience of 50 at the Flatbush Knights of Pythias, and a Seinfeld wouldn’t be, altogether. In the 1950s, like many immigrants, the Goldbergs “moved on up” from a New York tenement, to the Bronx, to Connectict, then to cancellation in 1956. (Berg did receive an Emmy for her work.) A generation had passed. Assimilation ceased to be front page news. The babies had boomed. As Jews “melted” into suburbia, many appearing to, and desperately wanting to turn from kugel to apple pie, the issue itself was driven underground, along with positive Jewish images. Apart from Molly, Berg also won an acting Tony for “A Majority of One” in 1959, and she worked in films and theater until her death in 1966.

End of an Era After “The Goldbergs” ended, Jews “disappeared” on air for two decades. The generic families of the Nelsons, the Cleavers, the Andersons, and the Stones reigned in Main Street U.S.A. Then, in the 1960’s, a little egg cream once again entered the Land of Vanilla. Carl Reiner created what became The Dick Van Dyke Show with a Jewish family and workplace in mind. Ultimately the only openly Jewish character was Buddy (Morey Amsterdam who had a bar mitzvah on the show!), but the heart of the show was pure kasha. Not only was the tone Jewish, but other “probable” Jews included the Helpers, Rob and Laura’s friends, Alan Brady, the thinly disguised “Sid Caesar” and Mel, the lackey brother-in-law. Then came Rhoda (played by the late nonJew Valerie Harper), Mary’s gal pal on “The Mary Tyler Moore Show.” When “Rhoda”

spun off, enlarging the role of her family, we saw a marked change in how Jews were portrayed. Sitcoms, now in their adolescence, were rife with rebellion that reflected the turbulent 1960s and 70s. Many male writers were conflicted over their Jewish traditions and traits, which they perceived as obstacles, and they got a quick laugh on the back of exaggerated stereotype. Mothers especially took the heat, or a Jewish character was the foil for the “straighter” gentile, in shows such as “Bridget Loves Bernie,” “Mad About You,” “The Nanny,” “Curb Your Enthusiasm” and even “Seinfeld” (when any parent was involved). The exception was “Brooklyn Bridge” (1991), based on producer (“Family Ties,” “Spin City”) Gary David Goldberg’s early life, the show was an authentic look at Jewish life. Sadly, it lasted only two seasons. Lately, we’ve seen indications of change. In “Will and Grace,” Grace married “in!” In drama, Jews were more “normalized” in “House,” “Law & Order,” “NCIS” and “The Good Wife,” among others. And there are numerous Jewish-themed shows on cable and elsewhere which boldly plays to our culture, from “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel” to “Shtisel.” America seems “ready” to use cutting edge humor to portray Jewish values. We’re coming full circle, and in more sophisticated vehicles, we are continuing the legacy started by an ingenious Jewish woman at the dawn of radio and television: Gertrude Berg. If it’s nobody, or anybody ........ I’ll call back. – Molly Goldberg. A

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EDUCATION

CHA Head of School Talks How They’ve Designed Their School Culture and Their Kindergarten BY JACQUELINE BULL

abbi Josef Fradkin is Head of School at Chabad Hebrew Academy (CHA). CHA is a Pre K-8 school and they are in the middle of the 2019/2020 school year. This school year marks the first year of their Dor L’Dor tuition program and it has brought in 44 new kids into kindergarten and 6th grade. Rabbi Fradkin has a macro view of the entire system of the school and believes firmly that building a child’s educational foundation at kindergarten is crucial. “Kindergarten education has a major impact on a child’s life and while it is possible to just look at kindergarten as another grade, or another age or an entry point even or part of the school in general, I think that is a little short-sighted,” Rabbi Fradkin said. In education systems or studies of education systems, it is common that kindergarten is lumped with other grades or as just “primary grades,” he explained. In 2009, Rabbi Fradkin received a scholarship for Harvard Graduate School of Education and a study that Harvard was conducting at the time has stuck with him since and informed his perspective on building a school system. The study, conducted by Raj Chetty, a professor of economics at Harvard, found that “having an above-average kindergarten teacher in a classroom of 20 will generate about $320,000 more in total lifetime earnings for each of his or her students compared to the same class with a belowaverage teacher.” Professor Chetty used data from 11,500 students in 79 Tennessee elementary schools from 1985 to 1989. “And that is a major, major impact and that had a major influence on how I came back to the school and decided to really rethink 40 SDJewishJournal.com | January 2020

how we look at kindergarten and how we think about kindergarten education,” Rabbi Fradkin said. Kindergarten is, according to him, “where students really gain their lifelong love of learning and where they gain their base knowledge. If you have a solid base knowledge, you are able to progress rapidly and continuously, but if you have holes in that foundation, then it has a greater impact. That is why you see so much remediation, and it’s not because the child is naturally unable, but because they have holes in their education and holes in their learning. And that is why later on you have to help them with fractions or something else because they didn’t have it as a solid base at the start.” Looking at the curriculum, instruction, building the knowledge base and mastery over the scope and sequence of grade to grade, he sees lacking mastery in the earliest years forming holes of knowledge for the student. “If you don’t have mastery at your lowest point, then the child is going to be stuck all the way through at every point in their education with holes that need to be remediated. The same thing is true for every grade, but if you start at your base and the base has holes–not because it is a hole on purpose, but because the teacher was in their first three years of teaching, or the program has X, Y, Z–that is pretty much the background of how this concept of how we started developing our kindergarten to a different model, than what your average kindergarten is. Your average kindergarten, great teacher, great program, common core curriculum, whatever they’re doing in their classroom, fantastic, but that is–according to what we researched–not enough.” When Rabbi Fradkin was a part of

developing what the kindergarten program looks like now, he was working with one of CHA’s lead curriculum instruction directors. She had headed a program in the public schools for many years that developed teachers. “We looked at these studies together and really broke down how these work in other environments and we said, ‘Why do we focus all of our remediation sources–our resource teachers, our math resource teachers and specialists–why are we focusing specifically in the upper grades (3rd, 4th, 5th)?’ Let’s try and move those resource specialists and attach them directly to the kindergarten class,” he said. Now their classes are not just a teacher with an aide, but every subject has a resource specialist. For example, they have had a reading specialist assigned specifically to the kindergarten classes for a couple years now. “We have every single thing that we need to ensure that the base is solid. We have flipped our remediation or resource program from being top-focused–upper grade-focused which is where you see the need–and [what] has happened is we need significantly less [remediation],” he said. They still have resources available for the upper grades, but putting the focus on helping the youngest grades has resulted in a smaller need as the students progress later on. “It is really a mind shift in how to look at education; let’s not fix a problem, let’s not create the problem in the first place,” he said. And having this macro view of multiple grades also contributes to how they have “optimized” their middle school curriculum to put their students in an advantageous position entering high school.

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Creating the Culture “I don’t know if you are familiar with this human resource saying, ‘Companies usually hire for skill and fire for attitude.’ [How] we believe is a little different … You can’t make attitude … And the attitude we are looking for is individualized care and passion for their subject area and passion for their students,” he said. When interviewing potential new teachers, he always explains that they are looking for people that are going to be invited to their student’s weddings in 25, 30 years. (And requests for taking time off for student’s weddings are always granted.) “We’re here to make relationships with these children and being remembered as being formative and such an important part of their life, we need to really utilize that for the best. And for Jewish education, we have a critical role in our people in sustaining Judaism ... We take that responsibility very clearly. Many of our staff are not in the Jewish faith, they are an expert in their field, they are passionate about the subject, they also believe in the mission of dor l’dor. We just had on the Shabbat San Diego weekend, we had a major shabbaton at school with 400 people and kids … All of the teachers were there part of it, encouraging it. These are the values that we are perpetuating. If you don’t perpetuate that in the youngest, youngest age, [it is] very hard to build later on,” he said. He sees the fruits of building these values when his former students send their own kids back to CHA or other Jewish schools. It is “a sense of knowing oneself that is very powerful.” Part of the mission of the culture of the school is creating a positive energetic atmosphere, so that the kids are happy to go to school. Rabbi Fradkin plays amateur DJ each morning, putting on music for the students and parents at drop-off. “You’ll have parents who drive from Tijuana get out of the car after an hour and a half, but they are getting out and they’re dancing, they’re having fun. The environment–when you come in, you’ve got to have a smile on your face,” he said. A common refrain he hears from parents is that their kids actually complain when they have to miss school for something like a dentist appointment. “Kids eat it up. You have discipline issues in a school when there is a lack of engagement. The solution to that is high engagement, high empathy, high care [and] high participation. Kids feel that this is their place; this is what they want to do. It is not a chore to go to school.” A

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EDUCATION

A Secular Education with a Judaic Foundation: Parents on Soille Hebrew Day BY ALEX WEHRUNG

espite being a purely Orthodox institution, Soille Hebrew Day School prides itself on the diversity of its student body. “What’s really great is that it’s not homogenous. It’s a place in which people from different backgrounds … whether that’s different religious backgrounds ... to people who just moved from Israel or from Mexico or from the East Coast, from LA, anywhere really, they're able to come together,” said Anna Kaplan, whose two-year-old son Shai has been attending Soille since he was just a few months old. “I love that it’s a school that follows the Torah and a Torah-centric philosophy, but by the same token doesn’t do that to the extent of alienating anybody.” It goes further than just tolerance, Anna says; families bring all their different backgrounds and perspectives to a single school, which welcomes people whether or not they are Orthodox. It is an environment she says will allow her son to grow up with the best of both worlds. The preschool curriculum addresses cognitive and spacial needs through various various methods like yoga, having them draw on the undersides of desks and completing obstacle courses. “We love the fact that [Shai’s] teachers are able to go ahead and really work and nurture each kid at their level, and they’re able to do that by bringing in all sorts of amazing, creative types of projects and sensory experiences and then they’re able to marry the Judaics content with–sort of what I would say–the critical parts of just learning about our world,” Anna said. 46 SDJewishJournal.com | January 2020

“So for example, they did this amazing lesson where they were learning about the six days of creation, but they did it through a science lens.” In the experiment, the teachers placed a transparent dome over a boiling pot of water to show children how water condensated, in order to illustrate the concept of the heavens and the Earth. There’s even a smidge of home-economics thrown in; children get to learn how to safely peel and cut food, make snacks and use potatoes to make french fries. Anna is excited for Shai to eventually get to learn from the school’s STEM program, play in a competitive basketball team (his father is an avid basketball fan) and discover what it means to be a Jew. Not merely in terms of the mechanics of Judaism, but learning and exhibiting its core values. Even though she’s only been a Soille parent for about two years, Anna says her favorite part about it is seeing her son’s enthusiasm for learning. He doesn’t trudge on into the classroom, he practically jumps in. “They always have great activities that are ready for them to go, his teachers are so excited to see him. They make such a big deal out of every kid who arrives. It’s adorable. I think the part that I just enjoy is seeing him love going to school, love being part of his classroom, and as a very full-time working parent, that gives me the confidence that I know that when I’m not with my little guy during the day, he’s getting the most incredible experience and in many ways one that I could give if he was home with me.” Shai Kaplan is a second-generation Soille student; his father, board member Aaron

Kaplan, graduated the school years ago and his family has been in the San Diego area since the 50s. Anna and Aaron initially lived in Los Angeles before they moved to San Diego so Shai could get what they thought would be the best possible Jewish education. Anna says her husband appreciates that he received a high-quality secular education that went hand in hand with a foundation of Judaic studies. He went on to receive an MBA from UCLA and become an ordained rabbi. Moises Eilemberg is another Soille parent who swears by the school. He is the father of two sons (4th-grader Elie and 6th-grader Asher) that have been going to Soille since they were in preschool. “They’ve always felt incredibly welcome and safe and nurtured,” Moises said, which he says feels amazing as a parent who brought his children in as preschoolers. His sons are learning in a positive environment without bullying, for which he says he couldn’t be happier. Building this environment is baked into the curriculum. Part of said curriculum is character development, and children are actually graded on how well they can embody kindness, compassion, not embarrassing others and respecting different points of view. There’s a deliberate manner, Moises said, in which Soille communicates and reinforces with both children and their parents. Parents are encouraged to participate in a milestone event, which Moises attributes to fostering community within Soille. Every year, every grade has a milestone event that students work on and prepare for. This in-

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volves a celebration where children and parents get together to celebrate the acquisition of something, like receiving their first siddur, in addition to other happenings and academic projects that parents are invited to, such as fifth graders participating in an overnight stay at the San Diego Zoo Safari Park or dissecting an eye. “You tend to interact and develop relationships with parents and the teachers over the years,” Moises said. Like Anna, Moises feels that Soille embodies a unique community, like a microcosm of Jewish life in San Diego. Elie and Asher feel as though they’re living in a community as well. “I think their social life is sort of an extension of school and synagogue, and they certainly … I think they feel the strength of that community around them.” To encourage its students to give back to their community on a smaller-scale, middle school students are required to start reporting the number of hours of community service they’ve completed. Moises feels like this sort of emphasis on service is “absolutely” helping his children grow as individuals. Moises thinks his children’s experience at Soille Hebrew Day is unique from that of other private schools. “I think it’s part of the fabric of the school to recognize that everything we have is a huge gift.” “I think that through the community service, and through interacting with a very, very diverse community in the school, they understand that not everybody is economically fortunate, and that creates a responsibility on them that you may or may not feel if you go to your average private school in San Diego.” “I want my kids to be successful in life,” Moises said, “to go to any college they want to go to and to be valuable members that contribute to the economy and society. And I’m pretty confident that with the education … the secular education they’re getting at IN 24Hebrew HOURS. Day, they’re gonna be able to do that just as well as any other kid in any other private school.” “[Soille] is truly an incredible school where all walks of the Jewish community within San Diego I’m confident would have an incredible experience and their children would really benefit, not just in the grade in which they’re in, but would have a lifelong impact on their lives.” A

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| FEATURE |

Being a Persian Jew–Amir Kashfi on His Family History and LA Community BY ALEX WEHRUNG

hen Shah Mohammed Reza Pahlavi held power in Iran, the country’s Jewish population led relatively comfortable lifestyles, though they had little political power. The Iranian Parliament hosted a mere five minority seats, one reserved for a Jewish representative. Amir Kashfi’s great-grandfather served on this seat. Amir is a Persian Jew, a recent graduate of UCLA with a BS in Human Biology and Society and served as an intern for AIPAC. Bilingual in English and Farsi, Amir counts himself as a member of the Persian-Jewish community in Los Angeles, which was lucky to have gotten out of Iran when they did. Amir’s maternal grandfather Solomon Rastegar was an importer/exporter involved in international trade, around when the Iranian Revolution occurred in the late '70s. When Ayatollah Khomenei rose to power and instituted an Islamic theocracy, Solomon left with his wife and daughter–an emigration that Amir said was difficult.

As Solomon was involved in international business, it didn’t seem suspicious that he would have to leave the country; Amir’s paternal family left Iran in similar circumstances. For other Iranian families, it wasn’t so easy. “My friends, they had really difficult times getting their families out of Iran. I know some families that would travel by donkey to the border with Turkey, and smuggle themselves out like that,” Amir said. After leaving Iran, the Rastegars “floated” around Europe for a while, staying in England and Austria while awaiting asylum in the US. According to Amir, at the time, Israel wasn’t as easy a country to immigrate to as it is now. His maternal family wound up in Los Angeles, which has one of the highest concentrations of Persian Jews in the US outside of New York state. “I think that there was a sense of community and people wanted to stay together, so once some people came to LA or New York, other people followed.” “I’m really proud of my family for making

difficult choices and making the most out of a difficult situation. It’s not easy to move from one country to another, even under ideal circumstances, and it’s certainly not easy when you’re fleeing persecution and violence … politically motivated violence. “And it was not easy for my parents and it was not easy for my grandparents from both sides of my family, but they were able to make it work and they were able to come here and build a new life and build a family and ultimately get involved with the political process and help other Iranian Jews immigrate to the United States.” “And I think that’s something I can be really proud of and something that I can really look up to my grandpa for. Because he had a really tough life and he really made the most of it. And he still tells me to this day: It wasn’t easy for the Iranian-Jewish community to immigrate here, but we as a community really made the most of the opportunity.” During his time working with the Iranian Tevet / Shevat 5780 SDJewishJournal.com 49

American Jewish Federation–having once served as its Chairman and President–Solomon helped successfully lobby that President Jimmy Carter register the Persian-Jewish community as a protected minority group. “Everybody worked really hard to build a life and a new business and to learn a new language, and it worked out really well, thank goodness,” Amir said. The LA community, Amir said, is full of “fascinating dichotomies.” It is a community rooted in Iranian traditions but is progressive as well, willing to move with the times. “I think our community has done an amazing job, blending the best of both worlds.” Today, he said, the Persian-Jewish community is giving back by participating in some of Los Angeles’ Jewish organizations and federations, as well as pro-Israel organizations. However, bigotry has reared its head, at UCLA in particular. However, Amir downplayed such incidents, saying they do not represent the whole of the Persian-Jewish experience at UCLA. “If you’re only looking at the headlines, and you’re an observer from on-campus, that’s what you’ll see, and you’ll be put under the mistaken impression that Jewish life on-campus is way worse than it is.” Even though the university’s student government voted to divest from Israel, the UC Regents haven’t followed through on the resolution. The real danger posed by anti-Israel organizations and anti-Semitic actions, Amir said, is that they generate lingering news headlines that paint a negative picture. Otherwise, the atmosphere at UCLA is relatively comfortable for Jews, who can wear religious markers out in the open without fearing some kind of reprisal. That sense of safety is something that this one subset of the California Jewish community shares with the Jewish community in Tehran; according to a 2018 article from USA Today, what few Jews live in Tehran (around 15,000) can freely attend synagogue without fear of violence. Iranian synagogues don’t even have hired security, practically a staple feature in the US and Europe due to numerous anti-Semitic attacks. The Iranian capital has the largest Middle East population of Jews besides Israel. Of course, there are caveats to this safety. Persian Jews in Tehran can’t show any kind of public support for Israel or Zionism. Nor can they speak out against the government, which had produced a cartoon contest that lampooned the Holocaust. Anti-Semitism in Iran is very much institutionalized, and it’s part of the reason why Iranian Jews fled during the revolution 40 years ago. It’s also why Amir’s family hasn’t been back to Iran since the revolution, especially considering his great-grandfather’s involvement in politics. Ultimately, Amir says, he is grateful to the United States for taking his community in. “The most interesting part of the Iranian-Jewish community’s story is that at the end of the day, you never know what the future of a Jewish community’s gonna be like and you can never take the security of your community for granted. And Iranian Jews living under the Shah had the best it had ever been for them, before things suddenly turned for the worst. “Everything went downhill real quick and G-d bless America for taking in such a large community of Iranian-Jewish refugees and … the story really speaks to the power of communities, to come together at a time of need and to make the most out of a difficult situation. “Forty years later, forty years after the revolution, it’s great to see that everything has worked out for this community in the end.” A

50 SDJewishJournal.com | January 2020

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EDUCATION

Walking the Fine Line A tale of two educations. RABBI JACOB RUPP

y internal optimist cringes at the frequent negative tone of my writing. Why talk about what’s wrong when you can talk about what’s right? I am trying to be constructive and therefore have a poetic license (I hope) to reference two educational horror stories. Granted, they aren’t really horror stories. Horror stories usually deal with abuse and neglect and these stories are more of just a benign unfortunate waste of the precious time and resources that goes into educating children. Why is educating children so important? Because ultimately it is during these formative times that we set people on their paths for life. The first story comes from a friend of mine who went to a conservative day school. Here he learned the rites and rituals of being Jewish. He spent time learning Hebrew and learning how to lein (chant the Torah). But at the end of the day he found that most of what he learned was what he shouldn’t do instead of what he should. He started to see Judaism as a laundry list of restrictions and obligations, and as he got older he found himself largely uninterested in subjecting himself to what he felt was an oppressive religion. Net result: He was proud to be Jewish, but hardly practiced anything that he learned in Hebrew school. He felt like he had to enroll his kids in Hebrew school because it was a “Jewish thing to do” only to be shocked when his mother told him, “Take your kids out! They don’t like it!” He replied he didn’t like it either, but his mother had insisted. To which his mother conceded that perhaps she had made a mistake.

The second story involves a woman that had an Orthodox education. Now unlike my friend, she didn’t see Jewish life as a burden but as more of an opportunity, and she was happy to obey the commandments as set forth in the Torah. She practiced what she learned and was happy to send her children to learn the same way she did. So, there was joy there and a desire to apply what had been learned. Yet in the course of our consultation, she mentioned she was afraid of dying. When I asked her why, she told me that she was afraid of going to hell. This fear of hell was creating ongoing, low grade anxiety. So, no matter how she conducted her life, she was afraid that eventually she would be judged and have to suffer for not being ‘good enough.’ Before you start rolling your eyes, or scratch your head and say, “How could someone Orthodox believe in hell?” let me dispel the common misconception that Jews don’t believe in the afterlife or a concept of judgement that follows us after our lives here on Earth. We do and have for thousands of years–where did the Christians and Muslims get it from? But that’s for another article. What is important, however, is that we are not supposed to live in fear that we aren’t good enough. When education doesn’t work, as in both of these cases, it results in people either not applying what they learned (which means that the education wasn’t relevant) or it means that their lives become worse as a result of the education. We learn to enhance our lives, not to make it more difficult. It is these two goals that our education has

to focus on. The first component is how do we structure Jewish education so that people are excited to practice what they learn. How do we look at the obligations and structure of Judaism not as a bunch of irrelevant and ancient restrictions? How do we see Jewish life as an opportunity, and the commandments that we do as things that enhance our lives and make us better people? Of course, if the teachers can’t answer these questions for themselves, they will hardly be able to get that across to their students. And we shouldn’t think that this question is insignificant. Unlike math or science, Judaism is a lifestyle, and as such the teacher should reflect the material they are teaching if the institution has any hope of instilling the values into the students. You can only give what you have, and if you don’t have the core value of living and practicing Judaism because it’s good for you, you might as well close the doors of the synagogue or school because it is doing more harm than good. And down the line, when we have the benefit of time, educational institutions should look at their students. Are they embodying the ethics and practicing what they learned? And if not, why not? Schools should be focused not on just checking the boxes, but asking the hard questions of what are we trying to get across, and are we actually doing it? On the flip side, even if we are successful in getting the students to enjoy the Jewish lifestyle, do they like themselves? At the core of Jewish practice has to be a healthy sense of self. A person who sees themselves as bad, pathetic, or just marginally decent will hardly live the type of life that Judaism wants us to Tevet / Shevat 5780 SDJewishJournal.com 53

live. How can you stand up for what you believe if you don’t think you’re valuable? How can you live a Jewish life with joy if you aren’t joyous? Perhaps one could argue that it’s not the school’s job to build the self-esteem of the student. It’s the job of the parents, the therapist, etc. But again, Judaism isn’t just a subject. You could hate yourself and be great at math. You can’t hate yourself and ever hope to grow as a person. And because children spend so much time at school, and the natural relationship between teacher and student is one of admiration, it is incumbent on the teacher to foster and enhance the internal dialogue of the student. Habit two of the seven habits of highly effective people is to begin with the end in mind. As a parent, teacher and Jew, my end is always that my kids should love themselves and their Judaism. To facilitate that, we need two things; a) a less demanding focus on structure and b) a more intense focus on the children’s inner world. I am not saying don’t teach Jewish law, or that structure isn’t important to Judaism. It is! But it has to be presented in a way that modern people can relate to it, which is that Jewish life is an opportunity, not a liability and that it enhances our lives, not restricts us. And secondly, teachers have to become mini therapists, keeping their finger on the pulse of their student’s self-esteem and how they treat each other. And to the inner student and child in all of us, if you don’t love Judaism, or you don’t love yourself, slow it down a bit. Maybe it’s not your fault, nor is it reality. Maybe you just didn’t have the proper education. And while at one time in your life you had to rely on others to teach you, now you can teach yourself. And when you take on that responsibility, your ability to impact become limitless. A

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56 SDJewishJournal.com | January 2020

| FEATURE |

Why I’ve Traveled 10,000 Miles To Learn About Being Jewish BY YANA LEVIN

always knew I was Jewish, but before I came to Israel with Masa Israel Teaching Fellows (MITF), my Jewish identity meant almost nothing to me. My parents fled anti-Semitism in Belarus in the late ‘80s and early ‘90s. My family is active in the Russian Los Angeles community and we’ve always kept a lot of Russian traditions. We speak Russian at home, eat Russian foods, and celebrate the New Year in true Russian style–complete with a New Year’s tree, a large family party and presents at midnight. Judaism, on the other hand, wasn’t really part of my upbringing. We did our best to celebrate some of the major Jewish holidays in our own little ways, but I never attended synagogue or Hebrew school. Jewish holidays would mainly consist of a family dinner with traditional foods, but always lacked a deeper meaning. Ordering Chinese food and going to the movie theater on Christmas was the extent of our Jewish traditions. It wasn’t that my parents rejected Judaism; acting Jewish in the Soviet Union would have meant certain death, so the culture and the tradition got lost over the generations. I think my experience is fairly typical among Russian Jews. Growing up in L.A., the Jews around my Russian classmates and me seemed more Jewish than we were, culturally and religiously. And then two things happened. First, my sister took a DNA test and it came back 96% Ashkenazi Jewish. This concrete affirmation of my Jewishness launched

me on a journey to explore my identity and discover a different perspective than the one my parents lived with for so long. A journey that ultimately led me to MITF. Second, I went on a 10-day organized trip to Israel. Suddenly, I was experiencing a whole new world. I tanned on Netanya’s dazzling beaches and enjoyed the thrumming bustle of Tel Aviv. I met women my age who were fighting to protect our homeland. And I met and connected with a whole new set of relatives. Observing the locals of Israel made me feel like part of something bigger. Those 10 days felt like a teaser, and they whetted my appetite for more. I felt Israel pulling me back, but not as an American tourist. I wanted to stroll through Machane Yehuda and haggle over pomegranates. I wanted to get to know the regulars at every café in Tel Aviv. I wanted to dance at my “new” cousin’s wedding. That’s why I signed up for MITF. Now, as an MITF English teacher in Netanya, I have a chance to immerse myself in the land and its people. In Israel, I feel completely safe being Jewish. Even though L.A. and San Diego are full of Jews, they still harbor so much anti-Semitism. But Israel is our safe place, the land of our people. It represents both a history we remember and a place we can go and be at home. Children have no pretenses and are part of the heartbeat of a nation. Through teaching English to Israeli children, I’m forging a deeper connection with the people of Israel–my people.

While I’m here, I also hope to learn more about my Jewish identity. After I returned from my first trip, I shared what I learned about Jewish history and culture with my younger siblings and with others. But there is only so much I could learn in 10 days. Now, I have a full 10 months. After spending the better part of this year in Israel with MITF, I want to go back to America equipped to take my place in the Jewish community. I want to keep teaching people who were deprived of the opportunity to learn about their Jewish heritage. A

Tevet / Shevat 5780 SDJewishJournal.com 57

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Winter Soups Winter Soups

I love soup–well, most kinds–and as the cold winter of Jerusalem has started. So far I have made chicken vegetable, French onion, pareve vegetable and creamy pureed Jerusalem artichoke soups. Jerusalem artichokes are by far the most interesting. In North America, they are called sunchokes and look like ginger roots. Despite the name, it is not an artichoke–although it tastes like it–and it has no relationship to Jerusalem.

Cream of Jerusalem Soup 3-4 servings

8-10 Jerusalem artichokes 2 tbsp. butter or margarine 4 cups water ½ cup milk or non-dairy creamer 4 tsp. pareve chicken soup powder or

vegetable soup powder 1 tbsp. dry chives Salt and pepper to taste Directions: Slice artichokes into ¼-inch thick slices. Heat butter or margarine in a saucepan. Add sliced artichokes, water, milk, soup powder, chives, salt and pepper. Bring to a boil. Cook for 15 minutes. Pour soup into a blender and blend. Return to saucepan and heat. Serve.

Caryl’s Squash Soup 8 servings

Caryl was an acquaintance who lived in San Francisco. 3 tbsp. margarine 1 cup minced onions ¼ cup minced carrots

2 medium cubed potatoes 2 pounds cubed squash 4 cups pareve chicken or vegetable soup Salt and pepper to taste ¾ cup non-dairy, no-sugar whipping cream and ¼ cup water or ½ cup creamer and ½ cup milk Directions: Melt margarine in a frying pan. Add onions and carrots, cover and cook until tender, about 10 minutes. Add potatoes, squash, soup, salt and pepper. Cover and simmer over low heat for 25 minutes. Pour into blender and puree until blended. Pour into a pot. Add whipping cream and water or creamer and milk. Serve in mugs.

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by Sybil Kaplan Tevet / Shevat 5780 SDJewishJournal.com 59

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60 SDJewishJournal.com | January 2020

| DIVERSIONS |

This Portuguese Jewish community couldn’t afford a rabbi. Now it made a $1 million movie coming to Amazon. VIA JTA NEWS

decade ago, the tiny Jewish Community of Porto didn’t have enough money to hire a rabbi or even fix the roof of its synagogue. Today, this Orthodox congregation of 400 people in northern Portugal has enough for both, along with a kosher hotel, a ritual bath, a cantor, security guards and a new museum. As of this month, it’s also in show business. “Sefarad,” a 90-minute melodrama produced by the community that tells its history, began streaming on iTunes earlier in November. The film will launch on Amazon Prime next month. According to a former community official, the film cost $1.1 million. A Los Angeles-based publicist hired to promote it said a “private benefactor” paid. The Porto community is tight-lipped about how it came to have that kind of money. Requests for comment from the Jewish Telegraphic Agency were declined. But the spending spree roughly coincided with a 2015

law that granted citizenship to the descendants of Sephardic Jews expelled from the Iberian Peninsula during the Inquisition. The law, which preceded similar legislation in Spain, tasked the cast-strapped community in Porto and its counterpart in Lisbon with vetting thousands of citizenship applications, for which they charged handsomely. Whatever its funding source, “Sefarad” is probably the costliest film ever produced by a Jewish community in Europe, and perhaps beyond. Featuring dozens of extras in medieval costumes, elaborate cinematography and a backdrop set in a real Portuguese castle, the film is worthy of any Hollywood period drama. It opens with a dramatic Inquisition scene, then cuts forward several hundred years to tell the story of the Porto community’s 20th-century champion, Artur Carlos de Barros Basto, a captain in the Portuguese Army. A

Tevet / Shevat 5780 SDJewishJournal.com 61

| By Eileen Sondak

PHOTO BY AARON RUMLEY

what’s goin’on?

Blooomsday Cast. (Front) Hunter Saling & Rachel Weck, (Back) Martin Kildare & Jacquelyn Ritz.

It’s a brand new year–and a brand new season for the Old Globe. It all begins on Jan. 18, when “August Wilson’s Jitney,” originally produced by Manhattan Theater Club, takes over the Main Stage. Wilson, an American master and twotime Pulitzer Prize-winner, had a close relationship with the Globe and this exciting work returns to the Globe stage directed by one of Wilson’s foremost interpreters–Ruben Santiago-Hudson–for a welcome stay through Feb. 23. The play is about unlicensed cab drivers and their fight to save their business in 1970s Pittsburgh. Wilson’s dramatic thrust and use of language is thrilling, but the play comes with a warning for its strong language. The San Diego Symphony’s Fifth Annual January Festival, titled “Beethoven: Iconoclast, Innovator, Genius,” celebrates the composer’s 250th birthday. On Jan. 10-12, Edo de Waart conducts a program featuring pianist Emanuel Ax. The program includes Beethoven’s Leonore Overture No. 3, his Piano Concerto No. 1, and his Fourth Symphony. Beethoven’s Symphony No. 5 is the centerpiece of the Jan. 17-18 concerts. Leila Josefowicz will perform John Adams’ Violin Concerto. The program also includes two other works by Beethoven. “Beyond the Score: Beethoven’s 5th Symphony” is slated for Jan. 19. “Beethoven’s Pastoral” is on the docket for Jan. 24-25. Haydn’s Symphony No. 92 is also on the program. “Mozart’s Piano Concerto No. 9” is next on the schedule. The program, set for Jan. 31 and Feb. 2, features Benjamin Grosvenor on the piano and Jun Markl on the podium. Broadway-San Diego is featuring “Dear Evan Hansen”–a Tony Award-winning musical–at the Civic Theater through Jan. 12. The play is a deeply personal and profoundly contemporary musical about life and the way we live it. The San Diego Repertory Theater is ready to unveil “The Humans,” a Tony Award-winning play that has been described as “hauntingly beautiful,” and “relentlessly gripping,” while packing a lot of laughs. The story revolves around a family Thanksgiving celebration that brings tensions to a boil. “Humans” will be on stage at the Lyceum Jan. 9 through Feb. 2.

62 SDJewishJournal.com | January 2020

North Coast Repertory Theater is ready to unwrap “Bloomsday,” a San Diego premiere by Steven Dietz. The winsome tale–set among tourists exploring the pubs of James Joyce’s “Ulysses”–is funny, touching, and chock full of wit and emotional depth. “Bloomsday” will inhabit NCR’s Solana Beach home Jan. 8 through Feb. 2. Cygnet Theater is offering a Southern California premiere on Jan. 22. “The Great Leap,” directed by Rob Lutfy, deals with an American basketball team that traveled to China for an exhibition game in 1989. The drama goes even deeper than the strained relationship between the two countries and focuses on two men with a past and one teen with a future. The play is driven by fast-paced dialogue as it explores the cultural and political risks of speaking up and standing your ground. The show will stay on at the Old Town Theater Jan. 22 through Feb. 16. The Lamb’s Players will introduce the West Coast premiere of “Babette’s Feast” on Jan. 10. This adaptation of Isak Dinesene’s story (an Academy Award-winning film) deals with a French cook who takes refuge in a rural Norwegian community and finds a wonderful way to show her gratitude. You can see this play at the Lamb’s Coronado home through Feb. 16. Moxie Theater will bring “Red Bike,” penned by Obie Award-winning playwright Caridad Svich, to local audiences Jan. 24 through Feb. 16. The play, directed by Lisa Berger, takes us on a dangerous journey through a small town in America.

PHOTO BY MATTHEW MURPHY

“Jitney.”

The Museum of Art is showcasing “Bouguereau & America,” an exhibition that includes 40 canvases depicting modern interpretations of classical subjects by the French artist. The show will remain through March 15. “Abstract Revolution”–settled in through Feb. 23–will re-evaluate the development of Abstract Expressionism. The newest exhibition at the Museum of Art, “Nick Roth: Fates,” is a three-panel animation and computer programming representing life, destiny, and death. The show will continue through March 1. Birch Aquarium is highlighting “Turtleversary,” the fifth anniversary celebration of the arrival of a rescued Loggerhead sea turtle. “Seadragons & Seahorses” is a permanent exhibition. “Hall of Fishes,” which also serves as a working laboratory, is also on view. Birch has an installation on light by scientist Michael Latz, and another exhibition that helps you understand Scripps’ expeditions to discover and protect the planet. “Expedition at Sea” includes a 33-foot long projected triptych and hands-on learning opportunities. Another interesting exhibition at the Birch is “Research in Action: 100 Island Challenge,” an exhibit that explores the way reefs are adapting to our rapidly changing planet. Also on display is “Oddities: Hidden Heroes of the Scripps Collection,” a comic book-inspired exhibit that highlights amazing adaptations of ocean species. The Reuben Fleet Science Center will be showing a new film, “Cuba,” a fascinating look at the island nation, along with “Turtle Odyssey” (narrated by Russell Crowe), “Superpower Dogs,” (which showcases the bravery and prowess of some of the world’s most remarkable dogs) and “Volcanoes: The Fires of Creation” (which examines the contribution of volcanoes to the wildlife ecosystem and their impact on humans). Also at the Fleet is the “Renegade Science Project,” which escorts visitors through the park for a 90-minute exploration. Its newest exhibition, “Sun, Earth, Universe,” is an interactive exhibit that explores the world of space science and astronomy. “Pause/Play,” an immersive experience for mind and body that uses science in a com-

Cast of “Dear Evan Hansen.”

pletely new way, will close on Jan. 5. The Fleet is offering “Dream, Design, Build”–an exhibition that explores the museum’s collection of interactive engineering activities, and “Taping Shape 2.0,” which uses hundreds of rolls of packing tape to create a world of translucent spaces and tunnels. The Fleet has several other permanent exhibitions, including “Don’t Try This at Home,” “Studio X,” “Block Busters,” and “Origins in Space.” The newest is “It’s Electric,” an interactive show that explores the fundamentals of electricity. The Natural History Museum is captivating audiences with “Escape the Nat”–an escape room experience that dares you to solve puzzles and save the world. The 3-D films include “Hidden Pacific,” “Ocean Oasis,” and “Conquest of the Skies. “Hidden Gems” is another attraction. “Coast to Cactus in California,” and “Unshelved: Cool Stuff from Storage”–a display of specimens from around the world–are also worth checking out. “Living Lab” (featuring our creepy, crawly neighbors) is on view, along with a photographic exhibit titled “Insects Face to Face.” Both are expected to remain at the Nat through September. San Diego Air and Space Museum is featuring “Space: Our Greatest Adventure.” The New Children’s Museum has a colorful interactive textile environment to amuse the small-fry set. Dubbed “Whammock!” the intricate installation (designed by artist Toshiko Horiuchi MacAdam) invites kids to climb, play, and have fun. The San Diego History Center is featuring the first exhibition in Balboa Park exploring San Diego’s LGBTQ+ community. The History Museum’s permanent exhibition, “Placed Promises,” chronicles the history of the San Diego region– and the America’s Cup Exhibition, highlighting the sailing race held in San Diego three times since 1988. The Museum of Man (open during a seismic retrofit) is showcasing “Cannibals: Myth & Reality” and “PostSecret.” A Tevet / Shevat 5780 SDJewishJournal.com 63

the news

Israeli Doctors Dispatched to Measles-Stricken Samoa Secular Cultural Judaism Rabbi To Host Seminar at Kahal Am Rabbi Adam Chalom will be visiting San Diego on Feb. 1 for a “Being Jewish and Doing Jewish” seminar, which will discuss the tenets of the Cultural Judaism movement. Chalom serves as the head rabbi of the movement and is the dean of its training institution, the International Institute for Secular Humanistic Judaism. “Being Jewish in the 21st century is a question many denominations of Judaism are grappling with,” said Beverly Zarlow of Kahal Am. “Our movement of Cultural Judaism has an approach to this dilemma that is unconventional; it is a blend of universal human values and Jewish cultural identity that goes beyond the traditional religion.” From 9 a.m. to noon, Chalom will discuss what Jewish identity entails and from 1:30 to 4:30, he will talk about the meaning behind ‘doing Jewish.’

City Council Approves Homeless Initiatives that will Benefit Father Joe’s Villages On Dec. 10, the San Diego City Council voted unanimously in favor of expanding Father Joe’s Villages’ temporary bridge shelter at Golden Hall. 138 beds will be added in order to serve more families and transition-age youth. “[The] City Council’s decision to expand the temporary bridge shelter will provide desperately needed near-term options for people on the streets today and will allow us to connect them to our integrated services at Father Joe’s Villages including healthcare, substance use disorder treatment, dental, vocational training, employment services and housing placement,” said Bill Bolstad, Father Joe’s Villages’ chief operating officer.

64 SDJewishJournal.com | January 2020

The Sheba Medical Center dispatched a team from the Israel Center for Disaster Medicine and Humanitarian Response to address an epidemic of measles in Samoa. The team worked at Tupua Tamasese Meaole Hospital in the capital of Apia to save those afflicted with the disease. 71 people have died, with many victims including children and pregnant women. “In this particular mission, we did not need to deploy our field hospital or bring measles vaccinations to Samoa, but rather, to bring hands and heads to the affected areas,” said Professor Elhanan Bar-On, who serves as director of the Israel Center for Disaster Medicine and Humanitarian Response. “The Samoan healthcare system has been dealing with the situation admirably, but after two months of working at their limits, they really needed help and the Israeli team joined a coalition of medical teams from around the world in an effort to help the local teams and save lives.” Vaccination efforts were increased in the wake of the late-October outbreak, with the percentage of the Samoan population vaccinated against measles rising from 31 percent to 91 percent. The Council also approved a proposed budget for a $2 million Flexible Funding Pool, in order to fund a program that aims to both prevent and end homelessness in the area. “This pool provides vital funding to support people at risk of becoming homeless due to common issues such as the need to pay a double deposit to rent a room and to help others who are otherwise falling between the cracks in our current homeless services system,” Bolstad said. He commended the Council and San Diego Mayor Kevin Falconer for taking action on the issue.

Meetings and Events for Jewish Seniors Jewish War Veterans of San Diego, Post-185 Contact Jerome Klein (858) 521-8694 Jan. 12, 10 a.m. Veterans Association of North County, Post-385 Contact Marsha Schjolberg (760) 492-7443 Jewish War Veterans meetings Jan. 12, 11 a.m. JFS College Avenue at Temple Emanu-El Contact Bret Caslavka (858) 637-3257

Masa Israel Journey Educates Israelis About Diaspora Masa Israel Journey launched the first program to raise awareness of the Jewish Diaspora in Israeli schools. From Dec. 15 to 19, Jewish professionals from around the world toured 30 schools to share their stories with around 20,000 students. Masa Israel Journey is an immersive, long-term educational experience aimed at adults ages 18-30, teaching Israeli culture, politics, society and history. For the past nine years with the support of Israel’s Ministry of Education, Masa Israel Teaching Fellows has been bringing in hundreds of Jews to teach Israelis English.

Jan. 16, 12:45 p.m. to 1:45 p.m. Rabbi Dorsch “Kosher 101” lecture presentation. Free. On the Go Excursions Contact Mia Elenes (858) 637-3012 Jan. 19, Depart 1 p.m., return 4:30 p.m. “The Humans” at Lyceum Theater. Pay $70 by Jan. 8. Jan. 26, Depart 11 a.m., return 3 p.m. “Mama Mia!” at JCompany. Pay $25 by Jan. 16. Lawrence Family JCC Contact Melanie Rubin (858) 362-1141

“Diaspora Week is an extremely powerful way to build the relationship between Israel and the Diaspora,” said Masa’s acting CEO Ofer Gutman. “Our program will impact both the fellows and the students who will exchange their unique stories and increase their understanding of one another’s communities.

Jan. 20, 10:30 a.m. “30 Years of Freedom” presentation by Marketa Hancova. Cost is $8 for LFJCC members, $10 for non-members. Sign up by Jan. 13.

“This is a golden opportunity to listen, to see, and to experience the diversity and richness of global Jewry. By building these bridges, we are connecting the Jewish people and strengthening our mutual Jewish future.”

North County Jewish Seniors Club at the Oceanside Senior Center

San Diego Minimum Wage to Increase

Contact Josephine (760) 295-2564 Jan. 23, 12:30 p.m.

Employees in San Diego or the surrounding area who perform at least two hours of work a week in one or more calendar weeks of the year will see their minimum wage increase from $12 to $13. This increase is in accordance with the City of San Diego’s Earned Sick Leave and Minimum Wage Ordinance. The ordinance applies to all businesses and industries without exception; tips and gratuities do not count towards this wage increase.

Tevet / Shevat 5780 SDJewishJournal.com 65

ADVICE

ASK MARNIE by Marnie Macauley asksadie@aol.com

Habits From Hell

halom my dear San Diegans: All of us come into marriage with our personal very own quirks. For example, my late husband was a Senior Editor with The New York Times. So far? Normal enough. Until I discovered I married a newspaper hoarder. He subscribed to every publication, including Liechtensteiner Vaterland–and saved every single one, should Alois, Prince Regent of Liechtenstein fall down a mountain and break his leg. The problem with his “habit” was where to put this stuff. He chose neatly stacking them by type and date–on kitchen chairs. No matter how many “gently used” chairs I purchased from Craigslist or eBay … little by little he managed to fill each up. What this meant was, in 30 years, I never once sat down in my kitchen. I moved them, he moved them back. I bought shelves, he moved them back. I put them in the garage … don’t ask! I gave up and stood. Some women collect dolls. Some men, trains. OK, we’re still on the Planet Earth. But what happens when your mate is offered a starring role in the cable show: “HABITS FROM HELL.” Let’s look. GUY IN A STY DEAR MARNIE: What do you think about a guy who loves mess?! I’ve told him repeatedly how important it is to me. I am not talking clutter here! I am talking DIRT. Wherever he goes, I need a derrick. I can’t clean myself, although I have offered to help. But when he finally breaks down and does it, but he waits so long it is a Herculean task. He is wonderful, sensitive, intelligent, motivated, considerate and a joy–except for 66 SDJewishJournal.com | January 2020

this. Am I wrong to think there is something deeper here? Any suggestions? – K Bird from SD. MARNIE SAYS: I couldn’t wait to swoop down on your e-mail, which I did after I flew over 12 empty Diet Coke cans and landed on moldy Oreo “middlestuff.” I realize your guy’s dumpster life may seem a “slop” in your face. But don’t take your Porky personally. Getting It! Your Personal Strategy: * Tell yourself it’s not you. The making of a slob starts early. Have you seen his childhood stable? Does it look like a set for “Babe”? Or maybe Mom disinfected the plastic slipcovers, elevating her rebellious son to Prince of Pig. * Quit hounding him! No one has ever been tortured into “clean.” Plus you’ll remind him of his mother, thereby deepening his muck on all fronts. * Get strategic. Barter! Trade off your chores and rotten habits. If you’re a nail biter, you leave a thumb unchewed, and he leaves a sink unclogged. On the task front, he tunes up your car, you delouse his sofa. Bartering turns the battlefield into a fair playing field. Finally, like “The Odd Couple,” don’t expect your Oscar to become a Felix. We all come burdened with messes from our youth. You say your husband is wonderful, sensitive, intelligent, motivated and a joy. Well, in my vast experience, ’tis far better to sanitize a sink than deodorize a skunk. PRACTICAL JOKER IN PJ’S DEAR MARNIE: My husband tries to

sneak pictures of me in bed while I’m sleeping. I don’t like it because I’m overweight. He thinks it’s funny. What do I do? – In need of Sanitizing in San Diego. MARNIE SAYS: Honey, if this guy thinks Polaroids of his unconscious, overweight wife with her tongue flapping in the breeze are funny, you’ve got a bigger problem than a tacky photo album. Apart from the fact that the man’s got the sense of humor of Fred Flintstone, let’s talk about “funny” and relationships. “Funny” should (ideally) consist of more than one person dancing around with a lampshade on his head. Like the Tango, it takes at least two. Getting it! Your Personal Strategy: * He’s clueless. He doesn’t get it. More, he doesn’t get you. Make him. Tell him the boudoir photos are as amusing to you as ... well, his mother telling that joke about how he missed the potty until he was nine. Ask him how that felt and have him describe it in detail. * Now ask him to imagine how you feel when you’re caught on camera when you least expect it. If he has a problem making the connection, let him know exactly how it hurts you, violates your privacy and disregards your wishes. * No Pix Without Permission. Allow no argument. Humor is in the eye of the victim. And so is safety. Now, I’m loath to add fuel to this conflagration, but are we quite sure this is merely juvie humor? Or ... might your pix wind up in “comforting” some Somalian over the net in the night. Find out. * Even if it’s in the eye of the Bozo behold-

er, tell him it’s costing. The price is showing caring in this marriage. If he keeps “snapping,” you will, too–at him! Insist Ingmar Bergman refocus his sense of humor and get another hobby. BF IS THE STINKPITS DEAR MARNIE: My daughter is dating a very nice mensch. Here is the problem. He passes wind and belches a lot. He’s been checked out by a doctor and he’s OK. It’s quite funny to hear about it, but not so funny to be around (though he thinks it is). She wants to keep seeing him. Is there any advice you can possibly come up with? – Sandy’s Mom MARNIE SAYS: I’m convinced that somewhere along the Y chromosome there’s a wayward chunk of DNA that enables some gifted males to put straws up their noses, tell The Three Stooges apart and pass more gas than Exxon! So let’s get ... feminine. Getting it! Your Personal Strategy! * Tell your daughter to purchase a box of Gaviscon the size of a tractor and 12 travel-size bombs of air freshener. * She’s to put them in a charming, decorative gift basket filled with heather, nosegay and potpourri. * Help her to wax lyrical. Enclose a short card with a poem, for example: “This small token shall help you mend, And make sure your ‘backfires’ shall not offend!” Yes, he’ll rib, tickle and taunt–at first. But if he’s passed gibbon on the evolutionary scale, he’ll get the message and even appreciate her gloved humor. Most especially if, in her bag, she drags a travel size canister of Lysol. A

SYNAGOGUE LIFE EVENTS Congregation Beth Am Annual Gala

Jan. 11, 7 to 11 p.m., 5050 Del Mar Heights Road, San Diego, CA 92130 Join Beth Am for its disco-themed gala. Cost is $150, more with underwriter options. Visit betham.com for more information.

Musical Kabbalat Shabbat at Ner Tamid

Jan. 24, 6:30 p.m. 12348 Casa Avenida, Poway, CA 92064 A soulful Kabbalat Shabbat with contemporary songs infused into prayer experience. Visit nertamidsd.org for more information.

Men’s Club Casino Night/Horse Racing with Temple Adat Shalom

Jan. 25, 7 to 10 p.m., 15905 Pomerado Road, Poway, CA 92064 Play poker, bet on horses and bid on a silent auction for Adat Shalom’s annual fundraiser. Cost is $36 per person, and $20 for $200 worth of poker chips. Visit adatshalom.com for more information.

Tifereth Israel Community Orchestra Performance

Jan. 28, 7:30 to 10 p.m., 6660 Cowles Mountain Boulevard, San Diego, CA 92119 Listen to works by Beethoven, Sibelius, Kabalevsky and Tchaikovsky. Tickets are $20. Visit tiferethisrael.com for more information.

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Flippin’ Pizza Community Fundraiser Night with Temple Solel

Jan. 29, 5 to 9 p.m., 215 S. El Camino Real, Encinitas, CA 92024 This free event at Flippin’ Pizza Encinitas will include a pizza party with pizza flipping. 50 percent of sales are donated. Visit templesolel.net for more information.

Family Camp 2020 with Congregation Beth Israel

Jan. 31-Feb. 2, 4761 Pine Hills Road, Julian, CA 92036 Reserve your space now for a special and memorable two-night retreat at Camp Marston. Cost is $180 age 8 and up, $150 for children. Visit cbisd.org for more information.

Tevet / Shevat 5780 SDJewishJournal.com 67

EVENTS

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