March 2019

March 2019

Adar I / Adar II 5779

Our Annual Simchas Guide

CHAG PURIM SAMEACH

NER TAMID HONORS Rabbi Yehuda Shabatay and Dr. Virginia Shabatay at Their Annual Gala Lebanon War Veteran and Social Worker Dany Layani on the ISRAEL GUIDE DOG CENTER

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Adar / Nisan 5779 SDJewishJournal.com 5

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Adar / Nisan 5779 SDJewishJournal.com 7

March 2019

CzONTENTS

Adar/Nisan 5779

page 44 THEATER: Cygnet Theatre is bringing parts 1 and 2 of “Angels in America" to life in Old Town.

IN THIS ISSUE

page 32 FEATURE: Ner Tamid will honor Rabbi Yehuda Shabatay and Dr. Virginia Shabatay for their decades of contributions to the San Diego Jewish community at their annual gala themed “Dancing Through the Decades.”

page 49 PURIM: Read Rabbi Jacob Rupp's thoughts on why Judaism will never die.

8 SDJewishJournal.com | March 2019

page 34 SIMCHAS: Our annual partyplanning resource will help you rock the details of any celebration from bar mitzvahs to weddings.

page 51 FEATURE: Jewish Family Service's Heart and Soul Gala will honor community members' work in Alzheimer's and immigration.

page 33 FEATURE: We interview Lebanon War veteran and social worker Dany Layani about the Israel Guide Dog Center.

MONTHLY COLUMNS

ALSO IN THIS ISSUE

12 The Starting Line 22 Personal

30 CONSERVATISM Is G-d

Development and Judaism 24 Israeli Lifestyle 26 Examined Life 28 Religion AROUND TOWN

18 Our Town 20 The Scene 60 What's Goin On IN EVERY ISSUE

liberal or conservative?

41 FEATURE Song Leader Boot Camps.

43 FEATURE Adopt a

Family Foundation's gala.

50 FEATURE SDIFF's annual Oscar viewing party.

52 TRAVEL Finding gratitude in Eastern Europe.

54 FEATURE PJ Library Books.

56 PURIM Facts, factoids and fun.

14 Mailbag 16 What’s up Online 58 Diversions 59 Food 62 News 64 Advice 65 Synagogue Life Adar / Nisan 5779 SDJewishJournal.com 9

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March 2019 • Adar I / Adar II 5779

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EDITOR-IN-CHIEF • Brie Stimson ASSISTANT EDITOR • Jacqueline Bull ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR • Eileen Sondak CREATIVE DIRECTOR • Derek Berghaus OFFICE MANAGER • Jonathan Ableson

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Don Lincoln, CFP®, CIMA® Don.Lincoln@wfadvisors.com CA Lic#0821851 #0821851 CA Insurance #0821851 don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com Don Lincoln, CFP®, CIMA® Don.Lincoln@wfadvisors.com Zeebah Aleshi CA Insurance Lic Zeebah Aleshi Don Lincoln, CFP®, CIMA® don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com Senior Client Associate

Gina Grimmer Jeffrey Liber, CFP® Investments jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com Consultant Financial Managing DirectorJeffrey RRLiber, CFP® jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com Gina Grimmer Gina Managing DirectorInvestments Gina Grimmer Financial Consultant jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com Grimmer Grimmer Gina Gina Gina Alissa Alissa W W addell addell Financial Consultant Grimmer Managin gaddell Director-Inves tments CAGrimmer Insurance Lic #0C28496 Alissa Alissa W W Managin gaddell Director-Inves tments CA Insurance Lic #0C28496 Financial Consultant Alissa Alissa W W addell addell CA Insurance Lic Gina Grimmer Grimmer CA Insurance Lic #O178195 Financial Consultant Financial Consultant Gina Grimmer Financial Consultant AVP AVP -­‐

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Don Lincoln, CFP®, CIMA® don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com

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Senior Vice PresidentInvestments Managing Director- Investments Don Lincoln, CFP®, CIMA® don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com Zeebah Aleshi Grimmer Gina Gina Senior Vice PresidentInvestments Zeebah Aleshi Gina Grimmer Senior Registered Client Associate Financial Consultant don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com Zeebah Aleshi Grimmer Zeebah Aleshi Zeebah Gina Gina G G rimmer rimmer Senior Registered Client Associate Zeebah Aleshi Managin gaddell Director-Inves tments Gina Gina G G rimmer rimmer CA Insurance LicAleshi #0821851 CA W Insurance Lic #0C28496 Alissa Alissa W addell Senior Vice President-Investments Gina Gina G G rimmer rimmer Senior Registered Client Associate CA Insurance Lic #0821851 Financial Consultant 858-523-7904 Senior Vice President-Investments Zeebah Aleshi Zeebah Aleshi Gina Grimmer Gina Grimmer CA Insurance Lic #0G75099 CA Insurance Lic #O178195 Senior Registered Client Associate Senior Registered Client Associate Financial Consultant Gina Grimmer Registered Registered C C lient lient A A ssociate ssociate Senior Registered Client Associate Patty Dutra Financial Consultant Zeebah Aleshi Zeebah Aleshi CA Insurance Lic#0821851 #0G75099 Registered Associate Registered Registered CC C lient lient A ssociate ssociate AVP AVP -­‐ R -­‐ R egistered egistered CC lient lient AA ssociate ssociate Senior Registered ClientClient Associate Patty Dutra don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com CA Insurance Lic #0C28496 CA Insurance Lic Registered Registered CSenior lient lient AAA ssociate ssociate don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com CAzeebah.aleshi@wfadvisors.com Insurance Lic#0G75099 #0G75099 CA Insurance Lic #0821851 CA Insurance Lic #O178195 CA CA i nsurance i nsurance L ic L ic # 0178195 # 0178195 gina.grimmer@wfadvisors.com CA Insurance Lic Senior Registered Client Associate Senior Registered Client Associate Financial Consultant Financial Consultant Patty.Dutra@wfadvisors.com CA Insurance Lic #0G75099 CA Insurance Lic #O178195 CA Insurance Lic #0G75099 CA Insurance Lic #O178195 CA CA i nsurance i nsurance L ic L ic # 0178195 # 0178195 Yesenia Gil CA i nsurance L ic # 0I18483 CA i nsurance L ic # 0I18483 zeebah.aleshi@wfadvisors.com Gina Grimmer Consultant Senior Client don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com Senior Registered Client Associate Financial Senior Registered Associate CA Lic #0G75099 CA Insurance LicClient #0G75099 CA CA insurance insurance Lic LInsurance ic #Associate 0178195 #Associate 0178195 Yesenia Senior Client don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com Yesenia Gil Gina Grimmer zeebah.aleshi@wfadvisors.com gina.grimmer@wfadvisors.com Eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com Yesenia Gil zeebah.aleshi@wfadvisors.com Eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com gina.grimmer@wfadvisors.com CA alissa.waddell@wfadvisors.com alissa.waddell@wfadvisors.com Client Associate Registered Client Associate zeebah.aleshi@wfadvisors.com gina.grimmer@wfadvisors.com zeebah.aleshi@wfadvisors.com CA Insurance Lic#0G75099 #0G75099 CA Insurance Lic #0G75099 CA Insurance Lic Insurance #O178195 LicAssociate #O178195 Eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com Client Associate CA Insurance Lic #0178195 zeebah.aleshi@wfadvisors.com 858-523-7904 zeebah.aleshi@wfadvisors.com CA Insurance Lic CA Insurance Lic #0G75099 Client Associate Registered Client

CA Insurance LicLic #0178195 Registered Client Associate Yesenia Gil CA insurance #O178195 Gina Grimmer Yesenia Gil Gina Grimmer CA insurance #O178195 Gina Grimmer gina.grimmer@wfadvisors.com gina.grimmer@wfadvisors.com gina.grimmer@wfadvisors.com CA insurance LicLic #O178195 Gina Grimmer Gina.Grimmer@wfadvisors.com Yesenia Gil Lic sors.com gina.grimmer@wfadvisors.com CA insurance #O178195 Client Associate Yesenia Gil Gina.Grimmer@wfadvisors.com Registered Client Associate eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com Client Associate Registered Client Associate eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com Financial Consultant Yesenia Gil Gil Yesenia

Senior Vice PresidentInvestments don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com Zeebah Aleshi Zeebah AleshiClient Senior Registered Associate Zeebah Aleshi ADVERTISING REPRESENTATIVES Gina Gina G G rimmer rimmer CA Insurance Lic #0821851 Senior Vice President-Investments Senior Registered Client Associate Zeebah Aleshi Zeebah Aleshi CA Insurance Lic #0G75099 Senior Registered Client Associate Senior Registered Client Associate Patty Dutra Registered CC lient lient AA ssociate ssociate don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com CA Insurance Lic #0821851 Jonathan Ableson – SeniorRegistered Account Executive CAzeebah.aleshi@wfadvisors.com Insurance Lic #0G75099 Senior Registered Client Associate Senior Registered Associate CA Lic #0G75099 CA Insurance LicClient #0G75099 CA CA insurance insurance Lic LInsurance ic #0178195 #0178195 Yesenia Gil Senior Client don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com Yesenia GilAssociate zeebah.aleshi@wfadvisors.com Alan Moss – Palm Springs Eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com Client Associate zeebah.aleshi@wfadvisors.com zeebah.aleshi@wfadvisors.com CALicInsurance Lic #0G75099 CA Insurance #0G75099 858-523-7904 Client Associate

858-523-7904 Client Associate Yesenia Gil Lic #O178195 Fluent in Spanish Yesenia Gil CA insurance Gina Grimmer Zeebah Aleshi Gina Grimmer Fluent in Spanish Yesenia Gil zeebah.aleshi@wfadvisors.com zeebah.aleshi@wfadvisors.com gina.grimmer@wfadvisors.com gina.grimmer@wfadvisors.com Fluent Spanish CA insurance #O178195 Zeebah Aleshi Patty.Dutra@wfadvisors.com Yesenia Gil Lic zeebah.aleshi@wfadvisors.com zeebah.aleshi@wfadvisors.com Gina.Grimmer@wfadvisors.com Fluent inin Spanish Client Patty.Dutra@wfadvisors.com Client Associate yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com Registered Client Associate eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com Client Associate yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com Senior Registered Client Associate Financial Consultant Yesenia GilAssociate Yesenia Gil

FluentGil inzeebah.aleshi@wfadvisors.com Spanish Yesenia Zeebah zeebah.aleshi@wfadvisors.com Fluent inAleshi Spanish Patty.Dutra@wfadvisors.com Client Associate yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com

Senior Registered Client Associate yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com Senior Registered Client Associate Financial Consultant Yesenia Gil Yesenia Gil Client Associate Client yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com Investment Investment and andInsurance Insurance Products: Products offered !NOT FDIC through Insured affiliates: !NO!NOT Bank Guarantee FDIC Insured !MAY !NO Lose Bank Value Guarantee SAN DIEGO JEWISH JOURNAL in Spanish in Spanish Fluent in Spanish Fluent in Insurance Spanish CA insurance Lic#0178195 #0178195 CA Associate insurance #0178195 Client Associate Investment Investment and Insurance Insurance Products: Products offered !NOT FDIC through Insured affiliates: !NO!NOT BankFluent Guarantee FDIC Insured !MAY !NO Lose Bank Value Guarantee Investment Investment and and Insurance Products: Products offered !NOT FDIC through Insured affiliates: !NO!NOT BankFluent Guarantee FDIC Insured !MAY !NO Lose Bank Value Guarantee in Spanish Fluent inand Spanish CA insurance CA Insurance Lic #0G75099 CA Insurance Lic #0G75099 CA Insurance LicLic #O178195 CA Insurance LicLic #O178195 Investment Investment and and Insurance Insurance Products: Products offered !NOT FDIC through Insured affiliates: !NO!NOT BankFluent Guarantee FDIC Insured !MAY !NO Lose Bank Value Guarantee !MAY Lose Value Client Associate Client Associate Client Associate Client Associate CA Insurance Lic #0G75099 CA Insurance Lic #O178195 Fluent in Spanish Fluent in Spanish !MAY Lose Value !MAY Lose Value Client Associate Client Associate yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com Yesenia Gil Yesenia Gil Yesenia Gil Yesenia Gil eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com Fluent in Value Spanish !MAY Lose Zeebah Aleshi Zeebah Aleshi yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com Yesenia GilFluent Yesenia Gil eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com Wells Fargo Advisors, LLC, Member SIPC, is a registered broker-dealer and a separate non-bank affiliate of Wells Fargo & yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com zeebah.aleshi@wfadvisors.com zeebah.aleshi@wfadvisors.com (858) 638-9818 • fax: 638-9801 gina.grimmer@wfadvisors.com gina.grimmer@wfadvisors.com Michelle Hasten Wells Fargo Advisors, LLC, Member SIPC, is a registered broker-dealer and a separate non-bank affiliate of Wells Fargo & Wells Fargo LLC, Member SIPC, is a registered broker-dealer and a(858) separate non-bank affiliate of Wells Fargo & inAdvisors, Spanish Fluent inAdvisors, Spanish Fluent in Spanish Fluent in Spanish zeebah.aleshi@wfadvisors.com gina.grimmer@wfadvisors.com Wells Fargo LLC, Member SIPC, non-bank yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com Company.

Wells Fargo Advisors, LLC, Member SIPC,isisa aregistered registeredbroker-dealer broker-dealerand anda aseparate separate non-bankaffiliate affiliateofofWells WellsFargo Fargo&& Company.

Fluent in Spanish Fluent in Spanish yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com Company.

Wells Fargo Advisors, LLC, Member SIPC,Associate is a registered broker-dealer and a separate non-bank affiliate of Wells Fargo & Company. Client Associate Company.

Wells Fargo Advisors, LLC, Member SIPC,Associate is a registered broker-dealer and a separate non-bank affiliate of Wells Fargo & Company.

ClientAssociate Associate Client Associate Client Associate Senior Registered Client Senior Registered Client Wells Fargo Advisors, LLC, Member SIPC, is areserved. registered broker-dealer and a separate non-bank affiliate of Wells Fargo & Company.

Company.

Client Client Associate

©2009 ©2009 Wells Wells Fargo FargoAdvisors, Advisors, LLC. LLC. All Allrights rights reserved.88580 88580 –v1 –v1-0312-2590 -0312-2590 (e7460) (e7460) Senior Client Associate yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com ©2009 ©2009 Wells Wells Fargo Fargo Advisors, Advisors, LLC. LLC.All Allrights rightsreserved. reserved.

88580 88580–v1 –v1 -0312-2590 -0312-2590(e7460) (e7460) ©2009 ©2009 Wells Wells Fargo FargoAdvisors, Advisors, LLC. LLC.All Allrights rights reserved. reserved.88580 88580 –v1 –v1-0312-2590 -0312-2590 (e7460) yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com 5665 Oberlin Drive, Suite 204 •(e7460) San Diego, CA 92121 trade name used byAdvisors, Wells Clearing Services, LLC, yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com Member SIPC. WellsFargo Fargo Advisors, LLC.Fargo Allrights rightsreserved. reserved.

88580–v1 –v1 -0312-2590(e7460) (e7460) ©2009 Wells LLC. All 88580 -0312-2590 ©2009 yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com

FluentininSpanish Spanish Fluent Spanish Fluent in Spanish Fluent inGilSpanish Yesenia Gil Yesenia CA CA Insurance Lic#0183194 #0675099 Insurance Lic #0675099 Fluent Fluent inin Spanish Yesenia Gil CA Insurance Lic Client Associate Client Associate yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com Client Associate Investment Insurance Products offered through affiliates:NO NOT FDIC Insured NO NOBank Bank Guarantee Investment and Insurance offered through affiliates:NO NOT FDIC Insured Zeebah.Aleshi@wfadvisors.com Zeebah.Aleshi@wfadvisors.com Investment andInsurance InsuranceProducts Products: NOT FDICInsured Insured Bank Guarantee MAY Lose Value Investment InsuranceProducts Products: NOT FDIC Insured Bank Guarantee yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com Investment offered through affiliates: NOT FDIC Insured Guarantee Michelle.Hasten@wfadvisors.com Investment and Insurance Products: NOT FDIC NO Bank Guarantee MAY Lose Value MAYLose Lose Value Fluent in Spanish Investment and InsuranceProducts: Products: NOT NOTFDIC FDICInsured Insured NO NOBank BankGuarantee Guarantee MAY MAYLose LoseValue Value MAY Value Fluent in Spanish Investment and Insurance Wells FargoAdvisors Advisorsisisaatrade tradename nameused usedby byWells WellsFargo FargoClearing ClearingServices, Services,LLC, LLC,Member MemberFINRA/SIPC FINRA/SIPC yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com Wells Fargo yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com Wells Fargo Advisors is a tradename nameused used byWells Wells Fargo Clearing Services, LLC, Member FINRA/SIPC (c) 2016 Wells Fargois Clearing Services, LLC All Rights reserved 1016-02995 Wells Fargo Advisors aa trade used by Wells Fargo Clearing Services, LLC, Member FINRA/SIPC Wells Fargo Advisors is trade name by Fargo Clearing Services, LLC, Member FINRA/SIPC (c) 2016 Wells Fargo Clearing Services, LLC All Rights reserved 1016-02995 Wells Fargo Advisors is a trade name used by Wells Fargo Clearing Services, LLC, Member FINRA/SIPC (c)2016 2016 Wells Fargo Clearing Services,LLC LLCAll AllRights Rightsreserved reserved1016-02995 1016-02995 (c)2016 2016 Wells Fargo Clearing Services, Rights reserved 1016-02995 (c) Wells Fargo Clearing Services, LLC (c) Wells Fargo Clearing Services, LLC All Rights reserved 1016-02995

WellsFargo FargoAdvisors Advisorsisisaatrade tradename nameused usedby byWells WellsFargo FargoClearing ClearingServices, Services,LLC, LLC,Member MemberSIPC. SIPC. Wells

Larry M. Katz Certified Public Accountant

• Income Tax Preparation • IRS and State Audit Representation • Litigation Support Services • Forensic Accounting Services • Business Consulting Services

NO Bank MAY LoseGuarantee Value MAY Lose Value Fluent inand Spanish Investment Insurance Products: NOT FDIC Insured NO Bank Guarantee MAY Lose Value Wells Fargo Advisors is a trade name used by Wells Fargo Clearing Services, LLC, Member FINRA/SIPC yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com Wells Fargo Advisors is tradename nameused used byAll Wells Fargo Clearing Services, LLC, Member FINRA/SIPC (c) 2016 Wells FargoisClearing Services, LLC Rights reserved 1016-02995 Wells Fargo Advisors aa trade by Wells Fargo Clearing Services, LLC, Member FINRA/SIPC (c) 2016 Wells Fargo Clearing Services,LLC LLCAll AllRights Rights reserved reserved 1016-02995 (c) 2016 Wells Fargo Clearing Services, 1016-02995

EDITORIAL: editor@sdjewishjournal.com ADVERTISING: marke@sdjewishjournal.com Wells Fargo Advisors is a& trade name used by Wells Fargo Clearing Services, LLC, Member SIPC. CIRCULATION SUBSCRIPTIONS: jableson@sdjewishjournal.com ART DEPARTMENT: art@sdjewishjournal.com LISTINGS & CALENDAR: assistant@sdjewishjournal.com

SDJJ is published monthly by San Diego Jewish Journal, LLC. Subscription rate is $24 for one year (12 issues). Send subscription requests to SDJJ, 5665 Oberlin Drive, Suite 204, San Diego, CA 92121. The San Diego Jewish Journal is a free and open forum for the expression of opinions. The opinions expressed herein are solely the opinion of the author and in no way reflect the opinions of the publishers, staff or advertisers. The San Diego Jewish Journal is not responsible for the accuracy of any and all information within advertisements. The San Diego Jewish Journal reserves the right to edit all submitted materials, including press releases, letters to the editor, articles and calendar listings for brevity and clarity. The Journal is not legally responsible for the accuracy of calendar or directory listings, nor is it responsible for possible postponements, cancellations or changes in venue. Manuscripts, letters, documents and photographs sent to the Journal become the physical property of the publication, which is not responsible for the return or loss of such material.

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Adar / Nisan 5779 SDJewishJournal.com 11

FROM THE EDITOR

THE STARTING LINE

by Brie Stimson editor@sdjewishjournal.com

What’s Your Tummy Ache? have a tummy ache!” she wailed while standing at the barre along with about nine other four-to-six-year-old girls attempting to do a demi-plié in my ballet class. “Do you think you can keep doing class?” I asked as I always do. Sometimes when the girls say they’re sick or hurt they’re really just looking for a little attention, but sometimes they actually are sick. “My mommy says if my tummy really hurts, I have to go home!” she answered wide-eyed. “Well, do you feel like you’re going to be sick?” I continued. “Yes!” she admitted reluctantly, slumping over the barre like a wilted flower.

“But I want to keep dancing!”

It was amazing to me because, after years of teaching pre-ballet, I’ve found most of my young dancers would do just about anything to get out of doing the barre. It’s actual work, and compared to the other dances we do like freeze dance, the fishy dance and the obstacle course, it doesn’t have the same excitement. I try to jazz it up by calling passés flamingos and telling them to “grab snow” and throw it in the air every time they go down in a grand plié, but there’s only so much you can do to make bending your knees while holding onto a bar interesting.

That’s why it was so incredible to see this little girl who was practically doubling over the barre almost unwilling to give into the unrelenting realities of her gastrointestinal system. I, of course, made her sit down and 12 SDJewishJournal.com | March 2019

“Yes!” she admitted reluctantly, slumping over the barre like a wilted flower. “But I want to keep dancing!” rest until her mom came to get her, but I found her passion inspiring. I’m not sure I have enough passion for anything that I’d desperately struggle through severe nausea to not have to stop.

I can vaguely remember being a little girl myself, though, and being so engrossed in an activity (I was a pretty nerdy kid so I was probably reading the encyclopedia or something) that I would have practically ignored being on fire to continue what I was doing.

I think we can all recall being so involved in something when we were nine or 10 years old that it seemed like the whole world. It was the perfect mix of a strong imagination plus enough free time to see our adventures through.

But where does that passion go? I’m not saying adults don’t have passion and drive.

Of course many of us do. I know all of the writers who work for this magazine love being able to craft stories, but are we desper-

ately excited to write every day? I’ll admit I’m not. I have the best job in the world, and I feel pretty regularly grateful that I get to make a living doing what I love, but eventually, just like anything else, it becomes part of the daily grind. We start to think, “I have to write this today...” instead of “I get to write this today!”

How do we get that passion back – that feeling of being so engrossed, so in love with what you’re doing that even a robust wave of queasiness can’t stop you?

There are days when I don’t feel like teaching my dance class. I’m tired. I have other work to do. The drive up to Encinitas is long. But every one of my little dancers is always excited and ready to jeté and tendu.

(Unless she’s just woken up from a nap, then she’s crying).

Children have a lot of learning and growing to do certainly, but I think we could take a page from their zest for life. Everything is new, everything is exciting.

Luckily for us adults, it’s never too late to recapture your love for something, to remember how it used to give you butterflies and make you vibrate with excitement.

We’re all tired and we’re all stressed, but I think it’s worth taking a moment to do something that you wouldn’t stop doing even if you had a tummy ache. What’s your tummy ache? A

TAX-EFFICIENT CHARITABLE GIVING

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Use the fund for all your charitable giving and eliminate the need to save receipts. DAFs offer all the benefits of a private foundation without the bureaucracy – allowing you to focus on impactful philanthropy.

The Jewish Community Foundation is the largest grantor in San Diego. Therefore, we are aware of the community needs and innovative philanthropic strategies. You can access resources for everything from personalized research to giving techniques.

Gifts to a Donor Advised Fund are eligible for an immediate tax deduction allowable under state and federal law. The Foundation accepts a wide range of gifts, providing you with greater value and more giving opportunities.

Grants from the DAF may be made according to the timetable that is best for you, to the causes and organizations you care about, in your name or anonymously. You can also use the fund as your charitable legacy, supporting your favorite causes in perpetuity.

Unlike a private foundation, information about Donor Advised Funds is not publicly accessible. The Foundation maintains the highest standards of confidentiality.

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Proudly serving the San Diego community for over 50 years. • (858) 279-2740 | info@jcfsandiego.org | www.jcfsandiego.org Adar / Nisan 5779 SDJewishJournal.com 13

let us know what’s on your mind.

Dear Editor, My children found this poem to be inspirational. I hope your readers feel that way also.

-Renee Feinswog, La Jolla You Don’t Look 90 When I go out, I am often told You do not look 90 years old.

This melody is often sung, It’s not the outside but the inside that keeps you young.

You can use some powder, lipstick, a cosmetic kit, It will help a little bit.

When I waken in the morning this is what I say,

Today is going to be a beautiful day.

My vision is poor, it’s hard to see, But imagine my joy as I look at my peppermint tree.

My hearing is impaired and I miss many words, But my soul reaches out to hear the singing of birds.

There are other problems that I will not mention, Because being positive is my intention.

After you are born, and I think it is true.

We count your age in numbers but don’t let that define you.

So at this time in life I am having lots of fun, And I am looking forward to 91.

@SANDIEGOJEWISHJOURNAL

Send us your comments: editor@sdjewishjournal.com 5665 Oberlin Dr., Ste 204, San Diego, CA 92121

Please consider our guidelines for Letters to the Editor prior to submitting your comments: The San Diego Jewish Journal welcomes reader responses to articles. Due to space limitations, responses to articles cannot exceed 200 words and will be edited in coordination with the letter’s author and at the discretion of the editor and publishers.

For readers who wish to submit multiple letters, we require three issue months to pass between published letters so as to make space for more reader responses.

All readers can comment as often as they’d like in the comments section of our website, found at the bottom of every articleon sdjewishjournal. comMagazine articles are republished on the website at the beginning of each issue month.

14 SDJewishJournal.com | March 2019

Corrections

On The Cover:

Gindling Hilltop Camp was misspelled on the cover of the February 2019 issue.

The Hamsa Hand is a popular Jewish symbol depicting five fingers that serves as a reminder of the metaphorical Hand of God. The word Hamsa, (CHAM-sah), is an Arabic word meaning five, which is derived from the same root as the Hebrew word for five, (chah-MESH).

SDJJ regrets this error.

ARTS FOR

San Diego Center JEWISH CULTURE

San Diego Center for Jewish Culture

ARTS&IDEAS 2018-2019 S E A S O N

JACOB GOLDBERG Lectures on the Middle East

Profess or Jacob Goldberg—a former senior adviser to Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Barak— presents an annual three-day lecture series centered on the current political

landscape in the ever-changing Middle East.

MONDAY, MARCH 11, 2019 | 7:00 pm Disintegration of the Arab World: Iranian-Turkish Struggle for Leadership

TUESDAY, MARCH 12, 2019 | 7:00 pm From Carter to Trump: Four Decades of U.S. Misconceptions on the Middle East

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 13, 2019 | 7:00 pm Israeli Elections at a Critical Juncture: A Collision Course with Iran/Hizballah/Hamas and a Prime Minister on Trial

Lawrence Family Jewish Community Center • JACOBS FAMILY CAMPUS 4126 Executive Drive • La Jolla, CA 92037

SAN DIEGO

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JACOBS FAMILY CAMPUS

Adar / Nisan 5779 SDJewishJournal.com 15

online @sdjewishjournal.com

Hamantaschen Recipes for Purim Just in time for Purim, Alla Staroseletskaya of “Cooking with Yiddishe Mama” sends us four mouthwatering hamantaschen recipes.

Spike Lee Says the Jewish Character in ‘BlacKkKlansman’ Added a Lot of ‘Complexity’ to the Film “BlacKkKlansman” was based on a true story and loosely adapted from the Ron Stallworth’s 2014 memoir, “Black Klansman: Race, Hate and the Undercover Investigation of a Lifetime.” In the real story, however, Stallworth’s partner wasn’t Jewish — the screenwriters who wrote the first draft of the script decided to invent the Jewish character of Zimmerman to raise the stakes of the story.

Congresswoman Ilhan Omar Apologizes for ‘AntiSemitic’ Comments Rep. Ilhan Omar apologized last month for comments she made on Twitter, saying AIPAC buys politicians’ support of Israel. Her apology came a day after House Speaker Nancy Pelosi called the tweets ‘anti-Semitic’ and requested Omar apologize.

“Anti-Semitism is real and I am grateful for Jewish allies and colleagues who are educating me on the painful history of anti-Semitic tropes,” the freshman Minnesota Democrat said in a statement posted on Twitter. Read the full JTA story online.

Iranian Nuclear Scientist Working for the Mossad Smuggled to the United Kingdom An Iranian nuclear scientist working for the Mossad was smuggled out of the country and into the United Kingdom last month in a joint operation involving the Mossad, the CIA and MI6. The scientist reportedly was an Israeli asset for years who is said to have helped plan the 2012 assassination of Mostafa Ahmadi Roshan, a nuclear scientist and director at Iran’s Natanz uranium enrichment facility.

16 SDJewishJournal.com | March 2019

Adar / Nisan 5779 SDJewishJournal.com 17

our TOWN

BY LINDA BENNETT & EMILY BARTELL

LEFT: Bari Weiss, New York op-ed staff editor and keynote speak for JNF's annual Love of Israel Brunch.

RIGHT: Moviegoers at the SD Jewish Film Festival's opening night.

JNF Love of Israel Brunch

The Jewish National Fund held its annual event at the Bayfront Hilton San Diego. Attended by over 450 people, this sold-out brunch was truly beautiful. Karen & Bob Zeiger were the gracious chairs of this event. Speakers included Myra Shack Fleischer and Sol Lizerbram, national president of JNF. With a special musical performance by Jonathan Valverde, Founder & Director of Latinos for Israel, a lovely time was had by all. Some we saw there were Jason Bercovitch, Eric & Peggy Poliak, Jill Stone, Neil & Varda Levy, Norman & Barbara Ratner, Drew Schwartz, Jason Flam & Jacqueline Mizon, Ari & Danielle Gaffen, Ella Casuk, Jonathan Schwartz, seven-year-old Olivia Kissida with Felicia & Beverly Chamber, and of course Shari Schenk, local president of JNF. World renowned architect, Daniel Libeskind, was interviewed by NPR’s Digital Culture Correspondent, Laura Sydell, in January for the SD Center for Jewish Culture’s Arts & Ideas Series. Impressed by this informative program, some of those joining us in the audience were Eydie & Richard Kornberg, Sonia & Andy Israel, Sol & Debbie Kempinski, Leanne Knetzer and Julie & Ed Berner.

Also at the JCC, we attended Isabella Rossellini’s, Link, Link Circus. This “critter centric” program, focuses on her passion for animals. This multi-talented celebrity is touring her show while finishing up her master’s degree in Animal Behavior. Wow, what an impressive woman! Some of the others in the audience were Lucy Goldman, Sharon Hunt with 11-year-old Oliver and nine-year-old Eva, Ana Galicot, Nancy Neigus, Barry Cohen, Marcia Berneger, Carol Costarakis & Rolf Haas, Gina Farkas, Martin Greenberg, Eileen & Richard Waxman, Judy Plaut and Marc & Isobel Leverant.

The San Diego Jewish Film Festival

Always a highlight, we were so excited to attend this year’s 29th Annual SD International Jewish Film Festival. Mazel Tov to our splendid chair Christina Fink and her hard-working committees.

18 SDJewishJournal.com | March 2019

The viewing choices this year were diverse. Highlights for us were “The No. 5 War,” “Who Will Write Our History,” and “Light of Hope.” “Light of Hope” was a beautiful choice of film, in tribute to Marla Ann Bennett. With a regular flow of movie enthusiasts, some of those we saw in attendance were Rita Cohen, Sylvia & David Geffen, Arthur & Sandra Levinson, Christine & Richard Fink, Seth Krosner, Isobel & Marc Leverant, Robert & Marcia Malkus, Mark & Deborah Slonim, Lynette Allen & Larry Rothenberg, David Ellman, Renee Feinswog, Richard & Sharon Gabriel, Warren & Karen Kessler, Hillary & Jeffrey Liber, Gordon & Diane Kane, Joyce & Dave Abrams, Sondra Burke, Maxine & Arthur Gellar, David Golokow & Sarah Maltzman, Rita Heller, Bernice & Jack Clyde, Nehama & Victor Moreno, Robin Rubin and Renee Zoffel, Colin and Jane Scher, Carol Weisner, and Stephen Edelstein.

Mazel Tovs

To Mary & John Epsten on the birth of their grandson Adam Robert. Adam is the son of Michael and Rebecca Epsten and brother of Natalie. And Mazel Tov on the birth of their granddaughter Sydney Rose. Grandparents Helene & Allan Simon, join in this blessed family addition. Parents are Alana & Jared Ziman, and great-grandma to both babies is Nancy Geist.

Mazel Tov to Tatyana Dorfman & Wesley Cumberland as they welcome the newest addition to their tribe, Rosalie, born in Seattle in July. Happy San Diego grandparents are Irina & Lev Dorfman.

Mazel Tov to Ellie Nadler on the birth of her great-grandchild, Tzvi Hersch Hendeles, born in Jerusalem to San Diego native, Eli Melech and Sarah Karin Nadler!

Sarah Benner was called to the Torah as a Bat Mitzvah on January 19th at Temple Emanu-El. Sarah is the daughter of Dan and Aimee Benner.

Finally, Mazel Tov to Edith & Milt Kodmur on their 63rd wedding anniversary and Marilyn & Bob Filderman on their 57th wedding anniversary. A

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Adar / Nisan 5779 SDJewishJournal.com 19

the SCENE

BY EILEEN SONDAK, PHOTOS BY RYAN SONDAK

Erin & Corey Wyatt & Phylicia Cicalo-Aiken.

Kristi Pieper & Michele Prescott.

Jim & Ellen Moxham.

Nelly & Eric Wilson.

Rady Children’s “Glitter in the Air”

This year’s charity ball, dubbed “Glitter in the Air,” celebrated 110 years of support for Rady Children’s Hospital. The proceeds for the annual black-tie bash, held at the Hotel del Coronado recently, were earmarked for Rady’s Copley Psychiatric Emergency Department and its affiliated programs.

Almost 500 guests attended the glittery gala, which recognized extraordinary volunteer leaders and philanthropists

20 SDJewishJournal.com | March 2019

dedicated to the outstanding work done at Rady’s and the patients and families who benefit from their state-of-the-art care. The event (chaired by Gwynn Thomas with co-chair Ellen Moxham) was dedicated to the memory of John Barbey and Audrey Geisel.

The festivities began early at a pre-ball reception in the Coronet Room, with cocktails and hors d’oeuvres, before the party moved to the elegant Crown Room for a lavish sitdown dinner and dancing.A

Adar / Nisan 5779 SDJewishJournal.com 21

PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT AND JUDAISM

THIS WAY TO EDEN

by Rachel Eden rachel.s.eden@gmail.com

Move-a-Body Friends ho are you?” she asked me at the corner table of our neighborhood Starbucks as we both nursed our herbal teas. We had known one another for about seven years and were very friendly acquaintances through that time. She had seen me run community events, give classes to university students and facilitate parent meetings in school. She had seen me praying in synagogue, mothering my children at the playground and hosting her and dozens of other guests in my home for Shabbat meals. Yet here she was, feeling as though she didn’t know me.

I spent this past year feeling unhinged in a way that can best be compared to a “Freaky Friday” experience. I checked all the boxes of managing my home life and performing at my job (both of which I love), but I began to not recognize my life as my own. Every night, I wondered if I would wake up the following day feeling normal again but, if anything, these feelings grew more intense. I moved through each day with the heaviness that my life didn’t fit me the way it once did.

My Starbucks companion had invited me to her house for drinks the night before to unwind and decompress from an intense Shabbat of hosting guests and entertaining children. Something inside me stirred and I realized I could really benefit from just letting loose in the privacy of this woman’s home without fear of judgment. I spent the evening as the teenage version of myself – uncontrollable giggling included. I texted her after I arrived home that night saying, “You are a good friend. Thank you! I needed that.” Over the course of a few hours, my long-standing friendly acquaintance had crystallized into a friend.

I went about the following day feeling 22 SDJewishJournal.com | March 2019

Brene Brown refers to real friends as “movea-body friends” and describes a woman who called her to help move her passed-out alcoholic mother’s body off the sofa before the children came home. something I hadn’t felt in an entire year: understood. That evening, my phone buzzed.

My new friend texted me: “Can we talk?

Meet you at Starbucks?” I was curious and agreed to meet after the kids were asleep.

She was subdued when I saw her so we quickly ordered our teas and sat down. She didn’t waste time. “I’ve been thinking about last night. I’ve known you for years, but I didn’t recognize you last night and now I feel as though I don’t know you at all. I guess what I’m asking is...who are you?” Silence.

There it was. Three words that shattered all the understanding and acceptance I had celebrated that day. Three words that filled me with shame.

Brene Brown refers to real friends as “move-a-body friends” and describes a woman who called her to help move her passedout alcoholic mother’s body off the sofa

before the children came home. Her friend explained, “I called you because I knew you’d come right away, give me a hug, never look judgmental or disapproving or disgusted. And then you’d say, ‘Let’s do this.’”

Similarly, Judaism discusses friendship through the lens of unconditional love. One notable story (Me’am Lo’ez on Ethics of the Fathers) is of a wise man who asked his son, “How many friends do you have?” “100,” replied the son. His father said, “You cannot consider someone a friend until you’ve tested his loyalty. Even though I’m older than you, I have managed to acquire only half a friend. How is it possible that you’ve already acquired 100? Go out and test their loyalty, and you’ll see how many friends you really have.” Some time later, the son returned and told his father, “You were right. Of all the friends I have, I wasn’t able to find even one who would stand by me in times of trouble.”

We must choose to surround ourselves with people who see us as inherently good and worthy of loyalty. Our friends must be deserving of holding our darkest moments and most questionable behaviors. Movea-body friends choose empathy over judgment every time. “Who am I?” If you have to ask the question, then who I am matters too much or not enough in the context of friendship. My new relationship was exposed as not even a friendly acquaintance after all. As disappointed as I was, I did receive two consequential gifts from the experience, First, Freaky Friday was finally over.

I was shaken so deeply by the incident that I woke up feeling – for the first time in a year – that my life was my own again. Second, while I felt as though I lost a friend, in reality, I gained a lifelong move-a-body friend: myself.A

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ISRAELI LIFESTYLE

LIVING ON THE FRONT PAGE

by Andrea Simantov andreasimantov@gmail.com

Dignity & Challah or reasons of geographical convenience, Israel is considered part of Europe for an annual musical pageant known as “Eurovision.” Typically, a gaudy extravaganza that runs a close second to Mardi Gras, the acts are lavish, fun, oh-so-autre and occasionally very good. I would be remiss not to mention that when the acts are bad, they are cringeworthy: bad wigs, platform shoes, go-go dancers and enough sequins and goldlamé to envelop the Yukon. Most people I know pretend that they don’t watch and are too high-falutin’ for such a tacky experience, but you can bet your bottom shekel that every Israeli knows the words to our respective entrants’ songs.

For the record, amazing Israel has won Eurovision four times. First in 1978 with “A-Ba-Ni-Bi”, 1979 with “Milk & Honey,” 1998 with “Diva” and this past spring with “Toy,” sung by Netta.

While other female contestants typically appear to be Taylor Swift/Karen Carpenter look-alikes, Netta was, physically, a very different choice, which may have been the point of “Toy.” The song was jarring, loud, borderline vulgar and impossible to ignore.

Some equated the words with the way the world views Israel. Regardless, the squawking, screeching and pulsing rhythm of the winning tune has monopolized airways and bat mitzvah parties of our modest Jewish 24 SDJewishJournal.com | March 2019

land.

Israel pushes the envelope in everything she does. From Netta to transgender Dana International, from hi-tech, fashion and film, the Jewish state has never shied away from being front and center in any arena that demands professionalism and/or chutzpah.

While we still don’t know which act will win the coveted slot for the May contest (which, by the way, Israel is hosting this year), the televised trials have had the nation riveted, crying and cheering. A band of youngsters with special needs from the Shalva Center for Mentally & Physically Challenged Children stole the hearts of viewers, judges and naysayers. The two lead singers are blind and accompanying musicians have, respectively, Down’s and William’s syndromes. They are competitive, personable and phenomenally talented. In an age of political and social correctness, the Shalva Band would most certainly have raised unprecedented awareness about the ‘abilities’ that those termed ‘disabled’ possess. They do, however, possess one insurmountable handicap: They are Sabbath observant.

The final dress rehearsal for the internationally televised Eurovision performance is scheduled for a Saturday afternoon and no amount of cajoling could alter the ironclad rules of this 63-year-old contest. The irony

is, of course, that had these rehearsals occured in any other nation, the Shalva Band might raise questions of discrimination.

Still, all appeals fell on deaf ears.

It is the position of this writer that although the band has decided not to participate in the finals of the competition, they have attained victory. Because Shabbos comes first.

Sabbath observance reminds us that there is something to life beyond materialism.

Hollywood – and Tel Aviv – may attempt to seduce us into believing that fame and fortune indicate success, but our 6,000-yearold history teaches otherwise. With the eyes of Europe focused on the Jewish state, this band of youngsters offer morally imitable lessons of dignity and living by one’s principles.

The 19th century essayist, Ahad Ha’am, was avowedly secular. Nevertheless, he adamantly remarked, “More than the Jews have kept the Sabbath, the Sabbath has kept the Jews.”

If the only result of this sad chapter in Israel’s courtship of world love and acceptance is, merely, a discussion of whether or not it behooves representatives of the Jewish state to publically desecrate the Sabbath while wooing said adoration, the Shalva Band will have earned our esteem for decades to come.A

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Adar / Nisan 5779 SDJewishJournal.com 25

EXAMINED LIFE

OUR EMOTIONAL FOOTPRINT

by Saul Levine, M.D., Professor Emeritus in Psychiatry at UCSD slevine@ucsd.edu

The Self-Destructiveness and Futility of Hate o you happen to hate certain people without their having done anything offensive to you? If so, are you certain of the facts which justify your hatred? Have you personally experienced hatred directed at you simply because of your identity?

The target of prejudicial hatred is an “other,” a stranger who is perceived as dangerous or inferior. He/she has likely done nothing hurtful to the hater, nothing, that is, other than merely existing. Perhaps he looks or sounds different, or belongs to a detested group which “deserves” disdain and discrimination.

These haters are zealous “true-believers” whose minds are sealed. Their hates are based on entrenched “facts” about race or gender, religion or ethnicity, political affiliation, social class or nationality. Their biased beliefs are immutably “etched in stone” and they’re supported by people with similar biases and “isms.” Presenting them with strong evidence to the contrary has no effect.

Children naturally develop affiliative feelings of comfort, liking and love, as well as antagonistic feelings of dislike, discomfort and anger. But not hate: They do not innately feel hate towards any individual or group.

Hate is not part of our genetic code: It is entirely learned. Attitudes require verbal and cognitive abilities, but inculcated hate needs repetitive didactic or demonstrated teaching.

Embracers of hate are sure their prejudices are valid because these “facts” were learned from influential teachers like parents, family, friends or from social media. When their lessons are effective, hate is soon experienced and passionately expressed by the eager learners.

Hate has hurt so many and has ennobled so few. It diminishes one’s humanity and is ultimately self-destructive and futile. It saps 26 SDJewishJournal.com | March 2019

energy and exacts an emotional and physical toll on the hater as well as the “hatee.” It stimulates the hater at first, but it eventually corrodes his innards and exhausts, controls and consumes him.

There are many words and feelings which give credence to the fact that negative feelings reside within us: intolerance, hate, anger, aggression, selfishness, exclusiveness, rejection, disdain, envy, resentment and enmity. All are variations on a theme of social antagonism.

Likewise, many words reflect our “positive” human thoughts and feelings: tolerance, liking, love, hope, respect, acceptance, empathy, embracing, altruism, cooperation, caring, nurturance and inclusiveness are all variations on a theme of social affiliation.

Words of affiliation and antagonism express our widely varied and nuanced feelings, thoughts and behaviors. The “good news” is that “affiliation-related” words and behaviors are more in line with humanity’s natural state of being than those which are “antagonism-related.”

One can easily bemoan the current state of our world and our long history of inflicted inequities, brutalities and suffering. The truth is, however, that humanity has been slowly (but surely) moving (“evolving”) in the direction of better health, education, empathy, benevolence and yes, peace.

In his extraordinary landmark book, “Better Angels of Our Nature,” Harvard’s Steven Pinker demonstrates convincingly, based on data, that our human propensity to “affiliation” is winning out over “antagonism.”

Homo sapiens have been the beneficiary of our extraordinary inventiveness, science and creativity.

Pinker shows that we are better fed, educated and medically treated than ever before. We live longer and healthier, we’re better protect-

ed from the elements and diseases are being eradicated. We are also culturally enriched, entertained and enhanced. It may be hard to believe, but there is much less violence and war than ever before in human history.

Affiliation is more congruent with our evolutionary needs and propensities, and with what has actually been happening “on the ground” on Planet Earth.

This is indeed heartening: There is now reason to be optimistic and have hope rather than to despair and hate.

That said, there are potential dangers on the horizon. As impressive and valid as the arc of progress to human enlightenment may be, it is moving at a very gradual pace. A lingering fear is that the slow nature of this positive movement can provoke vigorous opposition and conflict to interfere or negate our momentum towards humanism.

Our incremental progress can be upended by two seminal regressive influences: 1. Demagogic hotheads who may use conflict, repression and violence to address the problems confronting civilization.

2. Willful and/or ignorant deniers of global warming who will do nothing to prevent the cataclysms which may engulf our planet and species.

We hope that the enlightened progressive forces of reason and compassion will continue to overcome the regressive supporters of ignorance and hate. Homo sapiens have already demonstrated wondrous creativity and resilience, which will no doubt continue.

We can ensure the eradication of hate, its replacement by humanism, and the perpetuation of humanity. But we need a universal commitment to benevolence and tolerance, so that a Positive Emotional Footprint is imprinted on us and our world.A

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27

RELIGION

POST-POLITICAL

by Rabbi Jacob Rupp rabbirupp@gmail.com

Stop Trying to Change the World always wanted to be a soldier because I wanted to be a hero. I wanted to go somewhere, do something and be important.

That mindset or ideal is hard to let go.

I was/am operating out of a need that one thing will make me successful. I stopped writing and stopped my podcast for months because I felt like it just wasn’t getting any traction. If only, I thought. If only I could present that one speech, compose one amazing score, create that one amazing company, I could change the world, I would be happy.

I want that person to discover me and suddenly I would have made it. And that’s why most of the ideas I have and chances I could take I don’t.

Adam Grant, the youngest tenured professor at Wharton Business School shares an amazing insight in his book, “Originals.” He explains that despite what we want to think about the Steve Jobs, William Shakespeares and Johannes Bachs of the world, the people who made the biggest impact on humanity were not one hit wonders. They didn’t just put out one piece of genius work. They put out a ton of work, of which some was bad, some was OK, some was pretty good and one or two were life changing.

We get so caught up in doing that one thing that we never do anything, because why put something out if it’s not going to be amazing? If I can’t write the best book of the year, why write at all? Forget the fact that it’s good for a person to express themselves or that one person’s message will reach someone the way someone else couldn’t.

28 SDJewishJournal.com | March 2019

We get so caught up in doing that one thing that we never do anything, because why put something out if it’s not going to be amazing?

The kind of thinking that we need to be amazing and create something amazing to be valuable holds us back and makes us regret our lives and see them as inconsequential. And we know it’s not true! Making great work doesn’t make you feel great.

Some of the greatest minds in Western civilization saw their own lives as useless or inconsequential. Mozart, Van Gogh, Kurt Cobain (OK, I grouped them together, but you get it).

Judaism sees it differently. You can’t just ship off to some place far away, behave gallantly and be a hero forever. G-d gives us commandments to be done every day, often the same way and at the same time, for our whole lives. He gives us an infinite number of times to try again and again. Messed up yesterday? Great, there’s today. Messed up five minutes ago? Great, there’s now.

This idea of regular people doing regular things in order to slowly, day by day, accord-

ing to no external goal, becoming better is how Judaism views growth and heroism.

There’s no moment because there are countless moments. If you couldn’t do it yesterday, do it today. This offends our Western sense of breaking glass ceilings, but it’s doable. And, according to Adam Grant, it’s not just a Jewish worldview. It’s a truth that crosses all lines. The best people show up day by day, create day by day and amongst the millions of the things they create, there are some real gems.

And if we want to get really deep, consider this: Are we valuable because of what we do, or who we are? If we consider ourselves worthy only because of what we do, we can never love ourselves or anyone else. If I stop loving my kids when they don’t perform the way I want, or my wife when she doesn’t do what I want her to, you’d tell me I was sick.

But how often do I not love myself because of the mistakes I made or the limitations I perceive? With a mindset like this, how can you not be living in a cycle of negativity and lack instead of gratitude and appreciation?

See yourself as intrinsically valuable.

You’re already great. Don’t look for that one thing that will change your life; focus on doing the things today that need to be done.

Write because you love to write, create because you love to create and love the people in your life not for what they are doing but for who they are. If you can do that, you might change the world and love yourself in the process.A

CONSERVATISM | Jerry Kubrin

Is G-d Liberal or Conservative? ince the beginning of time Jews have contemplated the nature of G-d and what He wants from us. We are commanded in the Torah to emulate His ways and follow in His paths. So we look into the Torah to inform us as to the Holy One’s preferences. At the same time one of the most divisive of all subjects is politics.

Passions rise to boiling heights in a manner of moments when discussing politics, particularly with those on the opposite side of the political spectrum. In my anecdotal experience, I have watched in horror as friends or even family members turn on each other and make political debates personal attacks on one another equating those on the opposite side of the political divide as evil.

That is why it is with reticence that I write this article, yet feel compelled to do so for reasons that will become apparent.

Anyone who has studied Torah knows that there are any number of passages that prove G-d is a Liberal. Anyone who has studied the Torah knows that there are any number of passages that prove G-d is a Conservative. How can both be true?! Simple.

G-d is an Independent. He is not a Democrat nor is He a Republican. There are parts of G-d’s platform which align more closely with Democratic ideals and the same can be said about Republican ideals.

As an aside, I have noticed how people with a more Conservative way of thinking tend to see more Conservatism in the Torah and vice versa. I have also noticed that many liberal Jews live an extremely conservative lifestyle, which I think is intriguing.

Here’s the thing; I would like to explore some of the most important policy positions in the country today and analyze what the Jewish, as defined by the Torah, position would be. I am hopeful that people can read and think about the words before reacting.

Emotional responses tend not to be as helpful as thought-out / logic-based reactions.

In order to be successful in this endeavor, I think it is critical to separate policy positions from the politicians and political parties that espouse them. Personality is not go-

30 SDJewishJournal.com | March 2019

Anyone who has studied Torah knows that there are any number of passages that prove G-d is a Liberal. Anyone who has studied the Torah knows that there are any number of passages that prove G-d is a Conservative.

How can both be true?! ing to figure into this analysis. We are only going to look at the policy and its relative pros and cons.

And to be perfectly clear there are rabid anti-Semites on both sides of the political divide, and anti-Semitism is obviously a position that is against G-d and what He stands for. And to tackle another prickly issue; can one criticize Israel and not be an anti Semite? Yes. Can one apply a double standard to Israel, holding Israel to a different standard than any other (or every other) country and not be behaving in an anti-Semitic fashion?

No. Is it possible to act in an anti-Semitic way, but not be anti-Semitic? Who cares?

There is no practical difference to one who is truly anti-Semitic and one who acts in an anti-Semitic way. Both must be influenced to change their ways or defended against.

The following is an example of what I mean. The Torah clearly tells us to be kind to the stranger in our midst. There are special commandments to protect and help the stranger in our midst on top of those to help our own brethren. Yet, many in our country want to build a wall to secure our southern

border. Does securing the border by building a wall equate with White Supremacism, being a bigot, and even being comparable to a Nazi? Are border walls immoral?

If one listens to some politicians, one may equate wanting to preclude people from entering this country illegally to being a Kapo in Auchshwitz. Because some bigots may want a border wall due to White Supremacism doesn’t mean that all, or even most, or even a significant percentage of those who favor a secure border are racists. In fact, one can be in favor of a secured border and at the same time be in favor of a more liberal policy in admitting people to this country legally. Supporting the rule of law is not racist because the immigration laws are not racist. Nor is believing in consequences for breaking immigration laws a racist ideology.

Those that call names are doing a huge disservice, as they are muddying the waters to the degree that true racism will stop being identifiable. In fact the shrill condemnations have already deafened many people to claims of racism and/or sexism and/or homophobia, etc.

Being Jewish means that we view policies through a lens of Jewish values. Sometimes that will lead us to support one party and other times it will lead us the other way. It is to our benefit that both parties in this country feel that they must court us. And we should remember, a democracy is designed so its citizens vote according to their own best interests. That is not selfish. That is the way our system of government works.

Finally, we need to remember that every time in history a government has become overly intrusive into the lives of the citizens, the citizens invariably lose their freedoms. A society that is not free has never been beneficial to our people. That is precisely why we are so blessed to live in this country with its amazing constitution, which was written specifically to limit the power of the government and grant maximum freedom to “we the people.” A

Adar / Nisan 5779 SDJewishJournal.com 31

FEATURE: Ner Tamid Gala

‘Dancing Through the Decades’ With Ner Tamid

BY BRIE STIMSON Virginia and Yehuda Shabatay.

I

t’s really going to be a great time, a great party, a great way to honor really wonderful, humble members of our community and support our local Jewish community,” Marisa Connell, president of Ner Tamid’s board of trustees told me during our conversation about the Ner Tamid’s annual gala this month.

“Dancing Through the Decades” will honor Rabbi Yehuda Shabatay and Dr. Virginia Shabatay for their decades of contributions both to Ner Tamid and the San Diego Jewish community at large. “They’re local and members of our synagogue,” Marisa said.

“They’ve spent many Shabbats with us and we were looking for someone who’d contributed to the larger Jewish community, somebody who really, to us, symbolized where we’d like to go as an organization. Our mission statement is to connect Jews to Torah and to each other and so we thought that they really embodied that, and we just thought they were a great choice.”

She said traditionally they’ve honored people who had contributed meaningfully to Ner Tamid, but this year they wanted to expand it to someone who had “a little more presence in the larger community.”

Rabbi Shabatay has been a professor at San Diego State University for many years, focusing on comparative religion studies. “In fact, right now he just started a course at Ner Tamid, which is open to everyone, that’s comparing the Hebrew Bible to the Qur'an and the Christian Bible and his perspective of looking at these documents as literature.”

She says the rabbi has been voted most popular professor in his department more than once. “He has such an interesting life story, starting in Europe and being in part of Israel and coming to San Diego and bringing those life experiences with him,” Marisa said. “I think that perspective, and his sense of humor as reflected through 32 SDJewishJournal.com | March 2019

his teaching, really is a delight to be around.”

“I think he really leaves a spark as a teacher and that’s just the rabbi,” she added. “Ginny also is a teacher and a learned scholar and she actually also just finished a four-part series of a class on Heschel at Ner Tamid, but again also open to everyone, and my impression is that they have a wide network from so many decades of involvement in Jewish life in San Diego.”

She said the theme “Dancing Through the Decades” fits with the Shabatays because they have been contributing to the community for decades. “We are a pretty low-key synagogue, and so it is going to be a very fun party. It’s going to be catered by Charles Rubin, so there’s a kosher dinner and dessert and that’s all included in your ticket price – and dancing. There will be a DJ. There’s also a few other special surprises I won’t tell you about,” she laughed.

A small group of dedicated volunteers led by gala chairperson Nancy Bergman works for months on the gala. “They’ve put in a lot of time, from organizing whatever the theme and the entertainment side of things and the party aspect of it, but also the fundraiser aspect of it and getting sponsors and getting people excited about it so they want to come,” she said. “And they sell tickets and that kind of thing as well. So it’s a pretty big job they’ve taken on.”

“It’s really a night of entertainment and fun. It’s a great night out and a wonderful opportunity to honor these members of our community,” she added.

Funds raised from the gala will go towards synagogue operations, the Hebrew school and youth programming. A The gala will be on March 16 at Ner Tamid. Go to nertamidsd.org for more information. To R.S.V.P. call 858-513-8330 or email info@ nertamidsd.org.

FEATURE: Israel Guide Dogs

Blind Vet’s Guide Dog is More than a Mobility Aid

BY JACQUELINE BULL

D

any Layani lost his sight at 20 years old, serving in the IDF. Five years later, in 1987, he traveled to New York and received his first guide dog. Now, he is with his fifth guide dog, and considers the guide dog part of his life and himself.

“The first time that I walked with [my first guide dog], I felt real freedom. To be alone, for the first time, only the guide dog and me,” Dany said.

Before the guide dog, he was always guided by a family member or friend. Now, he starts his day with the guide dog; they go to work together, they go to the park together, they meet people together and they end the day together.

“The guide dog is part of my life, it’s part of me.The guide dog changed my life, the guide dog gave me an opportunity to be independent. With a guide dog, I feel or I felt that has pushed me to do many things to make good decisions for me,” Dany said.

“I tried to use cane, you know for blind people are more isolated, and with a guide dog, it is different because people will approach the dog. It is a good way to contact other people ... They ask them questions about the dog, they want to pet the dog, they always have something to say about the dog. If it is a pretty dog, they find something to say,” Dany said.

This is something that differs from guide dogs in the U.S. The Israel Guide Dog’s philosophy places value on the how the dog can help the client be less isolated and more social.

“That is a different philosophy from many schools take that dogs shouldn’t be approached while it’s working, which is true to a certain extent with us as well. We don’t like the dog to be distracted while working, but we do regard the dog very much as an ice breaker and something that allows the person to be part of society, so it is not a nono like some of the schools in America. We try set the rules how you can interact with public, so you are not always saying ‘Don’t touch my dog, it’s working,’” Rafi Taglicht, Senior Guide Dog Mobility Instructor, said.

The British Guide Dog School philosophy is an influence on how the Israel Guide Dog school is run.

“The British Guide Dog School has this slogan, ‘Since I got my guide dog, I never stopped bumping into people.’ Meaning that the guide dog is a catalyst for meeting people and interactions with people, and I think that is a very big truth. Because it gets the person out of the house, first of all, it gives them a mobility aid then always no one will come up to you and say, ‘What a beautiful cane you have,’” Rafi said.

Another difference from American guide dog schools is the puppy raisers.

“I think what is special about the Israeli program is very different from yours is we use mainly university students as puppy raisers. Not all of them, but a big majority of them are students in universities which is a win-win situation. The students enjoy very much having the dogs on campus with them and the dogs are very well socialized due to the lifestyle of the students. They use public transport, walk a lot and they have a very full social life, so the dogs get socialized very well,” Rafi said.

Rafi gave an example of a misconception. People believe the dog decides when to cross the street by responding to the traffic light, when in reality it is the person giving the command to cross. The guide dog has learned intelligent disobedience and will avoid going forward if there is a car approaching to communicate to the client that it is not safe to cross.

“I think many people think that guide dogs are almost – that they take control of the situation, when it is usually very much a teamwork. So they think that the person using the guide dog is passive, where the person using the guide dog is really quite a capable person,” Rafi said. A

Adar / Nisan 5779 SDJewishJournal.com 33

SIMCHAS

The Party in the Planning

Simchas Resource Guide

BY JACQUELINE BULL This March 17, BESA, the bar/bat mitzvah event services association, is having its annual expo. The expo is an opportunity for pre-bar and bat mitzvah families to meet vendors face to face and get inspired.

In this guide is a number of categorized resources for having a mitzvah, with the B indicating BESA members. A

Venues B Andaz San Diego 600 F Street andazsandiego.com (619) 814-2082 Call for quote and details B Bassmnt Nightclub 919 4th Avenue bassmntsd.com (619) 231-9200 ext 3 Capacity: 50-1000 Call for pricing and catering information B Dave & Buster’s 2981 Camino del Rio N daveandbusters.com/ locations/san-diego (619) 881-4408 Call for quote and details

B Harbor View Loft 1880 Harbor Island Drive harborviewloft.com (858) 638-0672 Capacity: 300 Room cost: call for a quote Advance booking recommended: call for estimate Outside catering allowed: No B Hilton Garden Inn San

Diego/Del Mar 3939 Ocean Bluff Ave. hiltongardeninndelmar.com (858) 720-9500 Capacity: up to 150 Room cost: food and beverage minimum of $2,500 gets free room rental Advance booking recommended: anytime, but book by June 15, and the hotel will offer a complimentary chocolate fountain

34 SDJewishJournal.com | March 2019

enough for 35 Outside catering allowed: Only for ethnic requirements, but perperson fee is applied Hilton San Diego Bayfront 1 Park Blvd. hiltonsandiegobayfront.com (619) 321-4211 Capacity: up to 2,400 Room cost: varies, call for quote Advance booking recommended: one year Outside catering allowed: No, Kosher catering available in-house

B Hilton San Diego/Del Mar 15575 Jimmy Durante Blvd. sandiegodelmar.hilton.com (858) 764-6044 Capacity: up to 400 Room cost: call for quote Advance booking recommended: 6 months Outside catering allowed: Only if dietary restrictions are required B Hilton San Diego Resort and

Spa 1775 East Mission Bay Drive sandiegohilton.com (619) 275-8912 Capacity: 50-1000 This venue has over nine event spaces. Call for quote for more detailed information.

Homewood Suites by Hilton San Diego-Del Mar 11025 Vista Sorrento Parkway (858) 523-0500 Capacity: up to 90 Room cost: varies by event date and requirements Advance booking recommended:

book early to save up to 15% Outside catering allowed: No, except for kosher events

(858) 759-5459 Capacity: 25-300 Call to speak to an event planner.

Hornblower Cruises 1800 N. Harbor Dr. hornblower.com (619) 686-8700 Capacity: 10-1,000 Room cost: price varies with custom options Advance booking recommended: as soon as possible Outside catering allowed: No

Parq Restaurant & Nightclub 615 Broadway, San Diego parqsd.com (619) 727-6789 Capacity: up to 850 reception, 250 dinner Room cost: venue rental fee depends on group size and day of the week Advance booking recommended: 3 months Outside catering allowed: Not usually, but exceptions for kosher catering

Hotel Del Coronado 1500 Orange Ave. hoteldel.com (619) 435-6611 Capacity: up to 1,100 Room cost: food and beverage minimums on top of room rental charges Advance booking recommended: at least one year Outside catering allowed: No

B Hyatt Regency La Jolla at Aventine 3777 La Jolla Village Drive lajolla.hyatt.com (858) 552-6025 Capacity: up to 650 Room cost: $50-200 per person Advance booking recommended: one year Outside catering allowed: Yes Maderas Golf Club 17750 Old Coach Rd. maderasgolf.com (858) 451-8100 Call for quote and details . B Morgan Run Club & Resort 5690 Cancha de Golf, Rancho Santa Fe

B Party Pals 10427 Roselle St. partypals.com (858) 622-6613 Capacity: up to 1,000 (inside and/or outside space available) Room cost: call for quote Advance booking recommended: extremely busy through summer, starting in May. Recommended six months in advance Outside catering allowed: Yes San Diego Botanic Garden 230 Quail Gardens Dr. sdbgarden.org (760) 436-3036 Capacity: 30-300 Room cost: $550-1900 Advance booking recommended: 15 months Outside catering allowed: No, but exceptions can be made for Kosher requirements

B San Diego Marriott Del Mar 11966 El Camino Real

San Diego Marriott – La Jolla 4240 La Jolla Village Drive marriottlajolla.com (858) 597-6384 Capacity: groups of 80-700 Room cost: $25-60 per person plus tax and service charge Advance booking recommended: short term up to a year and a half out Outside catering allowed: only if full kosher is need San Diego Marriott Mission Valley 8757 Rio San Diego Dr. marriott.com/hotels/travel/ sanmv-san-diego-marriottmission-valley (619) 692-3800 Capacity:150-550 Room cost: food and beverage minimums only, Advance booking recommended: as soon as possible Outside catering allowed: Yes San Diego Zoo 2920 Zoo Drive events.sandiegozoo.org (619) 685-3259 Call for quote and details Sheraton San Diego Hotel and Marina 1380 Harbor Island Dr. sheraton.com/ sandiegomarina (619) 692-2702 Capacity: 50-1500 Room cost: consultation required Advance booking recommended: at least one month Outside catering allowed: No Tango Del Rey 3567 Del Rey Street tangodelrey.com (858) 794-9044 Capacity: 5000 sqft with seeting up to 220 Room cost: varies, call for quote Advance booking recommended: as early as one

month depending on preferred date.

Outside catering allowed: No. Kosher-style available

B The Great Hall at UCSD ihouse.ucsd.edu/ (858) 534-0540 Capacity: 175-250 Room cost: call for quote Advance booking recommended: availability is dependent on the academic calendar. Outside catering allowed: Yes The New Children’s Museum 200 West Island Ave. thinkplaycreate.org (619) 795-1698 Capacity: 1,000 Room cost: $2,500-6,500 Advance booking recommended: availability varies Outside catering allowed: No, but exceptions can be made for Kosher requirements

B The Westin Carlsbad Resort & Spa 5480 Grand Pacific Drive westincarlsbad.com (760) 827-2419 Capacity: 100-500 Room cost: no room reservation cost, only charged for food and beverage to be consumed Advance booking recommended: six months recommended Outside catering allowed: Yes B The Westin Gaslamp Quarter 910 Broadway Circle westingaslamp.com (619) 239-2200 Capacity: 100-600 Room cost: call for a quote Advance booking recommended: as far out as possible, but availability is very flexible Outside catering allowed: Yes B UCSD Faculty Club 9500 Gilman Drive, #0121 facclub.ucsd.edu (858) 534-1924 Capacity: 50-300 Room cost: prices vary for members or non-members Advance booking recommended: Faculty Club members and UCSD organizations receive scheduling preference.Outside catering allowed: No.

PHOTOS COURTESY OF DEL RIO STUDIOS

marriott.com/hotels/travel/sandmsan-diego-marriott-del-mar (858) 523-1700 Capacity: 120-420 Room cost: varies by event date and requirements Advance booking recommended: depends on the season desired Outside catering allowed: Yes

A Parent's Perspective

BY JACQUELINE BULL Susan Pack is a mom that attended a BESA expo and connected with Lydia Krasner, the owner of Mitzvah Event Productions, and never looked back. She had Lydia plan all three of her children’s bat and bar mitzvahs.

“Nobody does what Lydia does. She gives it her all. She cares. She wants it to be a success,” Susan said.

Lydia is also the co-president of BESA and very familiar with all of the members and what they can offer.

“Once I got Lydia, it was like ‘This is what I’m looking for,’ and she would be like ‘Oh my gosh, I have the best [backdrop vendor],’ whatever it was. It wasn’t that I didn’t look elsewhere, but almost always, I went back to the BESA people,” Susan said.

To become a member of BESA, the applicant has to have a minimum of three years experience working in special events, performed at least 50 bar/bat mitzvahs and be sponsored by a current member.

“They could be the best DJ in the world, but if they don’t know the hora [laughs], then they’ve kind of blown it,” Susan said. “It’s nice to have people who are seasoned enough to know what a bar and bat mitzvah is.”

Over three mitzvahs, Lydia and Susan became happy collaborators.

Lydia remarked that she wished that Susan had more kids, so that they could keep working together.

“The other thing that Lydia does really well is the tables,” she said.

“Like each theme she takes and creates centerpieces, it is the little things that she creates. When you walk in, it is already the theme as you walk in. My daughter’s theme was around the world … Every station kind of was a different part of the world and every table was a different part of the world. I would call her from HomeGoods and go like ‘I just found this pyramid, what do you have for Egypt?’ We started to collaborate more as we got to know each other.”

With all the details, they were able to do something crafty and fitting with the theme. Susan said Lydia helps others be more creative in their thinking. She recalled working with a cake pop vendor who created cake pops in the shapes of dice, hearts, clubs, spades and diamonds for her son’s casino theme.

One of Susan’s favorite memories was the magician, Magic Mike Stilwell, who is a BESA member.

“He looks like an old Jewish rabbi. People thought he was an invited guest, who was walking around doing magic tricks,” she said.

“Somebody came up to me and said, ‘Whose side of the family is this?’ [laughs] It was this really cute funny memory … An aunt who was in her 80s was going ‘He’s such a cute man. Who is he?’ It was just hilarious. Nobody would have known he was a hired guy, he was just so natural,” Susan said.

Adar / Nisan 5779 SDJewishJournal.com 35

SIMCHAS EVENT PLANNERS/ DECORATORS

Invitations/Favors/ Judaica/Decorations

B Absolutely Fabulous!

(858) 886-6807

B Absolutely Fabulous!

At Your Side atyoursideplanning.com (619) 322-7084

B Backdrops Beautiful

backdropsbeautiful.com (858) 300-2100 Bliss Events blissevent.com (619) 252-1058 Brilliant Event Design brillianteventdesign.com (305) 588-2761 Events by Gisele eventsbygisele.com (858) 531-3181 First Comes Love Weddings and Events firstcomeslovesd.com (619) 501-1695 I Do... Weddings and Events sdweddingplanner.com (858) 405-7244

B Lounge Appeal (858) 229-9990 B Mitzvah Event Productions mitzvahevent.com (619) 548-3485 Michele Moss Events michelemossevents.com (858) 220-9011

B Platinum Rentals

platinumeventrentals.com (858) 483-7368

B RSVP Events

Rsvpsdevents.com 619-517-6395

B The Center of Attention

(619) 857-5225

B The Party Link thepartylink.net (619) 464-3800 Timeless Events timelesseventdesign.com (617) 759-0050

36 SDJewishJournal.com | March 2019

absofab.net (858) 866-6807 Products: games, lighting, glow products, furniture AFR Lounge Furniture Rentals afrevents.com (619) 208-2449 Products: furniture

B Allen’s Flowers

allensmitzvahflowers.com (619) 233-7673 Products: floral-themed centerpieces, flowers, ceremony arrangements and baskets for out-of-town guests

B A Little Scene Flip Books

alittlescene.com (619) 922-0939 Products: photo flip books

B Backdrops Beautiful

backdropsbeautiful.com (858) 300-2100 Products: digital and static backdrops

B Charm bracelets and Candy Buffet charming-expressions.com (619) 548-3485 Products: bracelets, photo frames, flip-flops, necklaces B Chris’ Custom Airbrush airbrushchris.com (858) 488-7723 Products: airbrush t-shirts B Create-A-Design at CLONE createadesign.net (858) 259-6789 Products: invitations, napkins, iPhone cases, other favors and gifts Hatikva Fine Judaica hatikva.com (858) 695-9777 Products: Judaica, jewelry, bookstore, cards, stationary and largest family-owned Jewish store in San Diego, since 1991.

B Lounge Appeal Furniture Rentals loungeappeal.com

(888) 229-9990 Products: high quality lounge furniture

(800) 610-5570 Services available: hip hop and break dancers

Pacific Events Productions, Inc./ Pep Creative pacificevents.com (858) 450-7777 Products: furniture, bars, lighting & staging, props, florals, entertainment

B Dancing DJ Productions dancingdjproductions.com (619) 980-8338 Services available: DJ/MCs, lighting effects, photo booths

Paper Moment papermoment.com (858) 531-0494 Products: invitations

B The Center of Attention thecenterofattention.biz (619)857-5225 Products: décor

ENTERTAINMENT B A New World VR anewworldvr.com (858) 761-1758 Services offered: virtual reality experiences B Benjamin Asher Productions benjaminaproductions.com (858) 790-1412 Services available: DJ/MC, party pumpers, lighting and photo booths B Bollotta Entertainment bollotta.com (619) 295-3522 Services available: Djs, dance bands, comedians B BalloonZilla 18103 Sky Park Circle balloonzilla.com (949) 427-0155 Products: balloon centerpieces, bouquets and backdrops Cirque Quirk cirquequirk.com (619) 800-1887 Services offered: clowns, performing arts

B CEG Interactive cegint.com (800) 987-0290 Services available: DJs, photo booth, green screen, graffiti wall Dance Masters dancemasters.tv

Henna San Diego hennasandiego.com (858) 752-3628 Services available: Henna tattoos Kevin Viner kevinvinermagic.com (760) 586-3947 Services available: magic, mentalism and comedy

B Maximum Impact m-i-p.com (760) 929-9669 Services available: DJs, dancers, party pumpers, lighting, sound systems, video screens B Magic Mike Stilwell magicmikesd.com (619) 660-9662 Services available: magic shows B Mr. Disc Jockey mrdiscjockey.com (760) 575-7720 Services available: DJ, party pumpers, lighting My Little Carnival mylittlecarnival.com (619) 571-7654 Services available: carnival games and prizes, clowns, jugglers, magicians, dunk tanks, rock walls, amusement rides, pony rides, balloon decoration

B Second Avenue Klezmer secondavenueklezmer.com (619) 275-1539 Services available: live music B SoCal Green Screen socalgreenscreen.com (760) 755-7720 Services available: green screens PartyPOP partypop.com (949) 939-4363 Services available: DJs, musicians, décor, airbrush and body art

B Party Pals partypals.com (858) 622-6613 Products: party rental games, arcade rental games B Republic of Music romprod.com (858) 277-8689 Services available: live music, interactive party band B Fickle Finger Airbrush ficklefingerairbrush.com (760) 644-1991 Services available: airbrush accessories (hats, bags, headbands), temporary tattoos, Henna B Funky Hair funkyhair.com (949) 500-5158 Products: funky hair, funky glow fun, posh nailz polish parties, face painting, twinkle couture, funky tattoos B ZG Productions zgproductionsonline.com (760) 722-4450 Services available: MC/DJ, dancers, lighting, video screens, photo booth B 3D Cheeze 3dcheeze.com (714) 310-5429 Services available: flip photos, graffiti wall, 3D images, flip books, magazine covers

PHOTOGRAPHY B Bob Hoffman hoffmanmitzvahs.com (858) 576-0046 Services: photography and videography Alon David photographybyalon.com (858) 699-5376 Services: photography Daisy Varley daisyvarley.com (619) 405-4780 Services: photography and videography

B Del Rio Studios delriostudios.com (760) 480-7553 Services: photography and videography Leetal Elmaleh leetalphoto.com (858) 692-3418 Services: photography

B PPI Photo Events ppiphotoevents.com (858) 947-8887 Services: photography and photo booth rental Vito di Stefano vitophotography.com (619) 822-0456 Services: photography

Lifecycle Books

BY SYBIL KAPLAN

“Beyond Breaking the Glass” Ten years ago, this book was first published, but since then, “American society and the American Jewish community have experienced significant changes,” writes the book’s author Rabbi Nancy H. Wiener. She cites the increase in rabbis officiating at interfaith marriages and changes in views toward sexual orientation and gender identity.

Rather than just “a spiritual guide to your Jewish wedding,” this book is a very user-friendly, informative resource with a wide variety of options discussed.

The sections are varied and complete. “Working Together to Create a Holy Context” includes planning with intention, Jewish history and customs, exercises to frame decision making, remarriage and more.

“Jewish Wedding Rituals” encompasses their history, the ceremony, the chuppah, the betrothal, ketubah, clergy, recessional and more. “A Holy Process” discusses the months and weeks of pre-wedding rituals and celebrations. “Non-ritual Elements” deal with the rabbi, date, location, reception and more. “Making Your Home a Holy Space” is a lovely postscript.

Appendices include: a wedding rituals checklist, planning timeline and information on a wedding booklet, chuppot, ketubot, birkat erusin variations, Sheva brachot variations and resources.

Rabbi Wiener does a good job of including information of a spiritual and practical nature for all couples planning a Jewish wedding whether they be heterosexual, same sex, interfaith or remarriage.

Although Rabbi Wiener is Reform and part of a samesex relationship personally, she is very careful to include all aspects of various rituals – even some primarily observed by Orthodox – like fasting on the day of the wedding, bedeken (a ceremony where the groom covers the bride’s face with a veil prior to the ceremony) and yichud (private time for couple after the ceremony and before the party) but adopted by others today.

If you know someone newly engaged, this would be an excellent gift because it is informative, warmly written and inclusive.

Rabbi Wiener is Clinical Director of the Jacob and Hilda Blaustein Center for Pastoral Counseling of Hebrew Union College-Jewish Institute of Religion in New York. She is also rabbi of Pound Ridge, New York Jewish Community. Reform Chavurah. A

Adar / Nisan 5779 SDJewishJournal.com 37

SIMCHAS thevideofellow.com (858) 663-4468 Services: videography, photo booth

CATERERS

Approximate price ranges when indicated; otherwise, call the vendor $ - up to $20 pp $$ - $ 20-30 pp $$$ - more than $30 pp

B Allison’s Custom Confections 11564 Winding Ridge Drive allisonscustomconfections.com (858) 395-4094 Food cost/person: call for quote Food style: cookies, cakes, candies, confections

Eco Caters 4934 Voltaire St. ecocaters.com (858) 246-6129 Food cost/person: $$$ Food style: seasonal farm-to-table Embargo Grill 3960 West Point Loma Blvd embargogrill.com (619) 786-7522 or (619) 994-4834 Food cost/per person: $-$$ Food style: Top-rated Cuban, Caribbean and Latin American Elijah’s Delicatessen 7061 Clairemont Mesa Blvd elijahsrestaurant.com (858) 353-5528 Food cost/person: $$ Food style: Jewish deli, Russian

Balboa International Market 5907 Balboa Ave balboamarket.com (858) 277-3600 Food cost/person: $ Food style: Mediterranean

Hanna’s Gourmet 2864 Adams Ave. hannasgourmetcatering.com (619) 280-5600 Food cost/person: $$-$$$ Food style: international eclectic

K Café Chabad Catering by Yakov 16934 Chabad Way (858) 451-0455 Food cost/person: call for quote Food style: Glatt Kosher

North Park Produce Poway 12342 Poway Rd. northparkproducepoway.com (858) 391-9100 Food cost/person: $-$$ Food style: Persian, deli, kosher style available also

B K Catering by Charles

Rubin of Shmoozers 10785 Pomerado Road shmoozers.com (619) 583-1636 or (619) 261-8856 Food cost/person: call for quote Food style: ethnic variety D.Z. Akin’s 6930 Alvarado Road dzakinsdeli.com (619) 265-0218 Food cost/person: $$ Food style: New York Jewish deli East West Masala Catering spicelounge.com Spice Lounge Restaurant 859 Hornblend St. Gourmet India 810 4th Ave. (610) 394-2084 Food cost/person: $$ Food style: Indian

38 SDJewishJournal.com | March 2019

Oink and Moo Burgers and BBQ 121 N. Pico Ave hstrial-oinkandmoo.homestead. com (760) 451-6005 Food cost/person: $$ Food style: Top rated BBQ, Burgers in north county, San Diego Outcast Grill 6104 Regents Road outcastgrill.com (858) 202-0097 Food cost/person: $$ Food style: Mediterranean American

B Personal Touch Dining personaltouchdining.com (858) 638-0672 Food cost/person: call for quote Food style: Full service caterer, with traditional, Mexican, Italian and vegetarian menus.

Puesto 1026 Wall St. eatpuesto.com (858) 454-1260 or (858) 3444456 Food cost/person: $$ Food style: Mexican, gourmet street food

K Ralphs “Kosher Experience” 8657 Villa La Jolla Drive ralphs.com (858) 597-1550 Food costs/person: call for quote Food style: kosher, deli, cakes K Renaissance Produce and Catering kosherfoodssandiego.com (858) 752-9311 Food cost/per person: call for quote Food style: breakfasts, sandwiches, salads, rotisserie chickens, fish and traditional Jewish B Rotisserie Affair 7313 Carroll Rd. rotisserieaffair.com (858) 578-8891 Food cost/person: $$-$$$ Food style: Rotisserie B K Shalom Catering 11860 Carmel Creek Rd. shalomcatering.com (619) 985-8202 Food cost/person: $$$ Food style: kosher K Sima’s Gourmet Catering simascatering.com (858) 205-9738 Food cost/person: call for quote Food style: Persian,

Mediterranean, gluten-free with kosher options available

B Terra Catering 11860 Carmel Creek Rd. terracatering.com (619) 993-1437 Food cost/person: $$$ Food style: customized farm-totable B The French Gourmet 960 Turquoise St. thefrenchgourmet.com (858) 488-1725 Food cost/person: $$-$$$ Food style: French K The Place Café at JCC 4126 Executive Drive lfjcc.org (858) 457-3030 Food costs/person: $$ Food style: kosher, Israeli style Toast Catering 2320 Truxton Street toastcatering.com (619) 795-9135 Food cost/person: $$$ Food style: Persian buffets, Mexican-, Indian-, Thai-themed and ethnic foods, sushi and kosher-style dairy options available Urban Solace Catering 6496 Marindustry Drive, Suite A urbansolacecatering.com (858) 264-5780 Food cost/person: $$$ Food style: California coastal/ fusion

PHOTOS COURTESY OF DEL RIO STUDIOS

B The Video Fellow

PHOTOS COURTESY OF DEL RIO STUDIOS

K Z Catering 17290 Newhope St., Suite A californiakoshercatering.com (855) 567-4371 Food cost/person: $$$ Food style: Kosher

Desserts and extras: BabyCakes babycakessandiego.com (619) 296-4173 Food cost/person: $ Food style: gourmet cupcakes and desserts

K Chocolate Haven

chocolate-haven.com (619) 993-7785 Food cost/person: $-$$$ Food style: 5-star rated and award-winning chocolate, nacho cheese and caramel fountains, mini-desserts and handmade figurines and favors

B Dippin’ Dots 2892 South Santa Fe Avenue St. Suite 112 dippindots.com (760) 801-2301 Food cost/person: $ Food style: ice cream Dolce Donuts dolcedonuts.com (619) 985-9854 Food cost/person: call for quote Food style: donuts and treats Edible Arrangements Torrey Hills ediblearrangements.com

(858) 792-9100 Food cost/person: call for quote Food style: edible fruit baskets

B Gelato Paradiso 789 W Harbor Dr gelatoparadiso.net (619) 238-0307 Food cost/person: $ Food style: gelato B Sensational Treats sensationaltreats.com (858) 776-4999 Food cost/person: $-$$ Food style: interactive dessert stations B The Baked Bear 4516 Mission Blvd thebakedbear.com (858) 886-7433 Food cost/person: $ Food style: full service ice cream sandwich bar and prepackaged ice cream sandwiches, homemade fresh daily

Lifecycle Books

BY SYBIL KAPLAN

“Celebrating Your New Jewish Daughter: Creating Jewish Ways to Welcome Baby Girls Into the Covenant” In this practical handbook, Debra Nussbaum Cohen offers prayers, blessings, poems and prose to guide the reader in creating a unique and creative welcoming ceremony for a new baby girl.

Part I gives the background and history of welcoming ceremonies for Jewish girls (dating back to the 1970s), traditional ways of welcoming girls from cultures around the world and understanding covenant and dedication. Interesting Sephardic and Italian Jewish practices, Turkish and Balkan ceremonies dating before 1492, Yemenite, German, Bavarian, Rhineland and Alsace, Polish and India are mentioned.

Part II offers some practical aspects—involving non-Jewish family members, adopted daughters, gay and lesbian parents.

Part III addresses the needs of modern Jewish families – the where, when, what.

Part IV deals with formats – how to use this guide, prayers, readings, rituals. It concludes with five sample ceremonies.

Although we made up our own ceremonies for our daughters, this would certainly have been a welcome resource because of its inclusiveness of many details and the practical guidelines for making the ceremony significant and meaningful for your family and friends.

Cohen is the New York correspondent for Haaretz and a contributing editor for The Forward. A

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Adar / Nisan 5779 SDJewishJournal.com 39

Studio40 Fitness has hit the town in Poway.

Glace is passionate about helping and empowering women around her because she truly believes anyone can achieve the best version of themselves if they have the right tools to work with. That’s why she created Studio40fit, a stpace where every team member is valued and encouraged to empower their mind and body in whichever facet that may be. She wants to share her knowledge and passion to help her clients go further on their health path and get full alignment of your mind and body. She envisioned having highly-capable, charismatic instructors to lead the classes and motivate every client to reach their full potential.

Taking a Lagree class for the first time with a friend, and then trying it again under the guidance of Sebastian Lagree, the founder of Lagree Method in Los Angeles, Glace says she got hooked. She immediately fell in love with the method. It was exactly what she was looking for. And from then on, the rest is history.

Classes at Studio40 will last, as its name implies, for 40 minutes.

Glace mentioned that clients can expect to walk away feeling like they got a solid workout, while also craving more. The workout is super intense and done with slow and controlled movements through resistance. You can expect to work your core like you’ve never had before.

The Lagree Method uses the Megaformer which is a spring-based resistance machine adjustable to all levels of fitness and fuses key elements of Pilates providing a high-intensity, low-impact workout, adaptable for men and women of all ages, body shapes and fitness levels. You can expect some body shakes along the way because you will be using muscles you have no idea you had. It’s super powerful! If you’re shaking, you’re doing it right.

This new studio focuses on building and strengthening the community by connecting the body and mind. Glace believes a strong mind leads to a strong body! “The body achieves what the mind believes.”

The workout strengthens the body, tones and elongates the muscles, improves endurance, jump-starts metabolism, increases flexibility and postural alignment, and restores the body’s natural balance,” she said. “Studio40’s goal is to help your mind and body reconnect with your spirit, so you can live a life that inspires you to be the absolute best version of yourself.

Curious about what Studio40fit has to offer? Come chat with Glace or one of her instructors, or just check out our new space.

Owned by Glace Ziperovich, the studio blends different forms of exercises included in the Lagree Method, which fuses Pilates and Unaffiliated other forms of physical fitness such as strength training. The studio in yoUr time of need i'm yoUr rabbi offers yoga and hip hop classes. It will be the first studio of its sort in Poway, located at 13557 Poway Road.

Glace grew up in Brazil and has a Sephardic Jewish background.

Coming to San Diego has reinvigorated Glace’s connection to the faith and was blessed to link with Jews from different faiths and backgrounds.

More information: Studio40 Fitness 13557 Poway Road. Poway, CA 92064 T: 858-987-4840 Info@studio40.fit

www.studio40.fit

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FEATURE: SLBC

Inspiring More Jewish Music A Close Up of SLBC With Singer Rick Recht

BY JENNIE STARR

C

an you imagine the Shabbat table or the medura/campfire without Jewish music? Jewish music is a huge draw, perhaps second only to exceptional Jewish food. Programs with Jewish music appeal not only to listeners, but to many who play, sing or sometimes take the lead. Nearly one third of San Diego’s 30 plus indie Jewish experiences involve Jewish music. Not just a concert, but an activity in which you can contribute to, sing, or play Jewish music. How might we inspire people to enrich Jewish experiences with their music passion and skills? To find out, we’re bringing together singers, musicians and Jewish music enthusiasts of all kinds to learn and make music with singer/song leader Rick Recht.

A Full Day of Jewish Music.

The Workshop, Concert & Havdalah Are you the one who gets people singing, the drummer, guitar or piano player, the Jewish camp song lover, a volunteer or Jewish educator? Rick Recht began his Song Leader Boot Camps (SLBC) to inspire anyone who can hum, sing and/or play an instrument to create Jewish magic moments. Rick and SLBC will be hosted at the Hive in Encinitas, San Diego’s coworking space, which focuses on professional growth and Jewish cultural events. Rick is the spokesman for the PJ Library, founder of Jewish Rock Radio and offers concerts and workshops nationwide (and in Mexico too). Participants will learn a wide repertoire of classic and contemporary Jewish music with local friends and musicians and improve leadership skills. Bring your voice, your instrument, your energy. The workshop runs from 9 a.m. to 3:30 p.m. on March 31 and is rich in Jewish music and singing.

SLBC for Teens and the Teen Song Leader Fellowship One of Rick’s SLBC faculty, Craig Parks, has inspired locals for years through his music programs and he encourages participation in SLBC. Hannah Green was raised in San Diego, attended SLBC and participated in Craig’s programs. Today, she is a student at Santa Barbara and the president of Hillel where she sweetens services with Jewish music and prayer.

Songleader Hillel “Hilly” Ruben, was similarly inspired by Craig and SLBC and will serve as the mentor for the new Teen Song Leader Fellowship supported by the Jewish Teen Initiative. Hilly, currently a San Diego State student, enthusiastically agreed to help train the next generation, describing the importance of Jewish song leaders as key in helping craft “the soundtrack of our Jewish lives.”

The Teen Song Leader Fellowship includes discounted SLBC registration, an internship and two meetings with Hilly to mentor their work. Darren Schwartz, Federation’s chief program officer shared,

Rick Recht and the group.

“We have been doing a lot of work in the Jewish Teen Initiative to identify opportunities they want to do Jewishly. We believe SLBC, the Jewish Teen Fellowship and internship is an amazing leadership opportunity for our local teens and something very different from other local offerings.“ Teens may participate in SLBC without committing to the Fellowship.

Free Concert & Havdalah at the JCC The SLBC experience will continue with a free concert and Havdalah as part of Family Day at the JCC from 5:30 to 7 p.m., featuring Rick, Kavannah, Solel’s Jewish teen band and SLBC participants.

Betzy Lynch, chief executive officer of the Lawrence Family JCC of San Diego remarked, “This collaboration to bring Rick Recht to the stage was a fabulous opportunity! Rick’s talent to take parents back to the magic of Jewish summer camp, and bridging the excitement for young children to hear the contemporary songs of our tradition, makes him a perfect fit for Family Day at the J sponsored by the Viterbi Family Foundation. Don’t miss the chance to hear Rick and future song leaders of our community!” A Learn more and Register: tarbuton.org. Jennie Starr is CEO and Founder of Tarbuton & Startup18, a 501c3 founded in 2006, that supports independent Jewish and Israeli community builders creating new entry points for Jewish life in San Diego. SLBC and the Teen Song Leader Fellowship are generously supported provided by Jewish Federation of San Diego County and the Jewish Teen Initiative , the Lawrence Family Jewish Community Center, the Leichtag Foundation and the Barnik Tarbut Foundation.

Adar / Nisan 5779 SDJewishJournal.com 41

in Israel is to help save its victims.

The San Diego Marla Bennett Memorial chapter of AFMDA (American Friends of Magen David Adom) announces the reactivation of its chapter under the leadership of Dr. Mark Moss.

Planning is underway for a 2019 Gala Dinner this June.

Magen David Adom, Israel’s largest and premier emergency medical response agency, saving Magen David Adom, largest and premier emergency medical response agency, has has beenbeen saving We thank theIsrael’s community for it's past before 1948. supporters provide MDA’s 27,000 paramedics, EMTs, civilian liveslives sincesince before 1948.

AndAnd supporters like like you you provide MDA’s 27,000 paramedics, EMTs, andand civilian and future support of AFMDA. Guardians — more of Moss them volunteers — with the training, equipment, rescue Life Life Guardians — more thanthan 90%90% of them volunteers — with the training, equipment, andand rescue Please contact Dr. Mark vehicles need.

Sowe as celebrate we celebrate Israel’s independence, make a difference in health, the health, welfare, vehicles theythey need.

So as Israel’s independence, make a difference in the welfare, 619-990-9984 security of Israeli the Israeli people to MDA. Please today. andand security of the people withwith youryour gift gift to MDA. Please givegive today.

Mark Moss730@gmail.com.

AFMDA Western Region AFMDA Western Region Wilshire 65056505 Wilshire Blvd.,Blvd., SuiteSuite 750 750 Los Angeles, CA 90048 Los Angeles, CA 90048 • western@afmda.org • western@afmda.org Toll-Free 800.323.2371 Toll-Free 800.323.2371 www.afmda.org www.afmda.org

With Israelis grappling with nearly daily acts of terrorism, you can help ensure that those injured don’t join the list of those killed. Your support of Magen David Adom, Israel’s national EMS service, provides the equipment, supplies, and on-going training to keep MDA the preeminent mass-casualty medical response organization in the world. Your donation saves lives.

AFMDA Western Region 6505 Wilshire Blvd., Suite 750 Los Angeles, CA 90048 Toll-Free: 800.323.2371 western@afmda.org

26th Anniversary Season 2018-19

Balanchine Masterpieces

Works by George Balanchine Genius in Motion with the City Ballet Orchestra

Spreckels Theatre March 8-10 Includes:

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FEATURE: Adopt A Family Gala

Adopt a Family Foundation: Helping Terror Victims in Sha’ar HaNegev

BY EMILY GOULD

D

espite being born and raised in Geneva, Carine Chitayat has always felt a strong connection with Israel; but her physical and emotional proximity to the country was strained when she moved to San Diego. It wasn’t until she met the mother of an Israeli terror victim that Chitayat found a way to bridge that gap. Hearing the heart-wrenching tale of a mother suddenly and violently ripped away from her child, Chitayat felt gutted, but inspired to create a positive change in this woman’s life and others like her. From there, Adopt a Family Foundation was born as a way to sponsor survivors of terrorism financially, and provide them the emotional support needed in the wake of losing a loved one.

Since its inception in 2002, Adopt a Family Foundation in San Diego has “adopted” 17 families, predominantly from Sha’ar HaNegev, Israel. “It’s interesting what we do, because it’s not just writing a check,” Chitayat explains, “we are there to lend a hand and be there for them.” By pairing Americans and Israelis based on similarities in family members, ages, children and interests, the foundation lays a strong groundwork on which the two families can build their relationship. The families are put in communication with one another, but they are not just pen pals; San Diego families send aid to their Israeli counterparts in the form of therapy, toys, clothes and gifts on holidays. They also provide an emotional outlet by lending an ear to listen.

One new Israeli family is adopted each year and treated to a vacation in San Diego, hosted by their American adopters for a week-long break from the stresses of their daily lives. “We try to do what nobody does,” says Chitayat. “If they have a passion, we offer classes or anything to help them get back on their feet.” Healing does not come solely from sitting in a room and being therapized, it is about returning to “normal” life; therefore, the Foundation sponsors music, sport and animal therapies for their families.

Chitayat is not just the CEO of the company, she is also heavily involved with communications. “There’s lots of WhatsApp going on,” Chitayat chuckles. “I have three of my own adopted families because we started small … Once they come meet me, then I go visit Israel. How can we not be in touch?”

Chitayat has been to Sha’ar HaNegev several times to check in on her adoptees. “They are so generous: they host me for Shabbat dinner, I stay in their homes, I play with their children.” Chitayat, her American colleagues and the adopted Israeli families all try to keep up with each other’s current events: good and bad alike.

Most of the families in this region have never lived in peace, so the foundation requires volunteers who are understanding of their situation. Chitayat insists that it’s not easy for them to leave the area, not only economically and physically, but emotionally.

“You cannot pack up and leave to Tel Aviv just like that.” This place is home to these Is-

raelis and has been for generations. The land is a part of them, even with all its dangers.

In order to raise awareness and resources for their cause, the Adopt a Family Foundation holds several annual events, including an upcoming gala. This fundraiser will boast special guests from Israel, musical entertainment by Shanee and guest speaker and Israeli journalist, Almog Boker. “Our purpose is not political,” Chitayat says. “We are focused only on victims of terror, civilians, so our proceeds go directly to help them and our programs,” including summer camps for kids at Kibbutz Or HaNer and music workshops in Kibbutz Nir Am. The full scope of the foundation’s reach is immeasurably important, in part because these families are adopted for life. The purpose of this lifetime commitment is to ensure the survivors’ full recovery: “even if you help one specific person, it is really helping everyone in the family. If a father is suffering from trauma, he cannot be a good father,” explains Chitayat. However, “we don’t look at the situation as if we are their saviors, we are on the same level. We are hand in hand.

They give us back so much, they are keeping us alive.” A The Adopt a Family Foundation’s Annual Gala will be held on March 31, 2019 from 6-10 p.m. in building 177 at Liberty Station. For more information on events, donations, and volunteering, please visit www.adoptafamilyfoundation.org.

Adar / Nisan 5779 SDJewishJournal.com 43

The Ever-Relvant, Mammoth 2 -Part The Ever-Relevant, Masterwork Mammoth 2 -Part Returns:

Masterwork "Angels in America" at Cygnet Returns:

Theatre "Angels in America" at Cygnet Theatre

BY PAT LAUNER

BY PAT LAUNER

J

ews, WASPs, Mormons, angels, ghosts and global warming.

“Angels in America: A Gay Fantasia on National Themes” has it all. And a whole lot more.

The first part of the masterwork by Tony Kushner won the Pulitzer Prize in 1991 and garnered Tony Awards for Best Play in 1991 and 1993 for each of its two mammoth halves: Part I “Millennium Approaches” and Part II “Perestroika.”

When “Millennium” premiered in 1991, Newsweek called it “the most ambitious American play of our time.” Frank Rich, of the New York Times, said, “Mr. Kushner has written the most thrilling American play in years.” Ten years after its premiere, Washington D.C.’s Metro Weekly labeled it “one of the most important pieces of theater to come out of the late 20th century.”

Nearly 30 years after it first opened, “Angels in America” is as brilliant and timeless as ever. Kushner’s magnum opus is a multi-layered masterpiece, equal parts fanciful, political and philosophical.

Kushner is intellectually and analytically Talmudic in his approach to life and humankind. His New York Jewish smart, neurotic ambivalence is perhaps most keenly represented in the character of Louis Ironson, whose boyfriend, the funny and flamboyant Prior Walter, has just been diagnosed with AIDS. It’s the mid-‘80s, the midst of the Reagan presidency, and the AIDS epidemic is swallowing up numerous young lives, especially in New York.

But there are other Jewish characters in the play, most notably, Roy Cohn, the ruthless New York lawyer who helped put Ethel and Julius Rosenberg in the electric chair in 1953 for spying for the Rus44 SDJewishJournal.com | March 2019

sians. A cold-blooded, closeted homophobic and anti-Semitic Jew, Cohn was also a mentor of Donald Trump, according to the New York Times. (He was also Joe McCarthy's chief counsel during the McCarthy hearings). When Roy is on his deathbed, Ethel Rosenberg comes back to haunt him.

With seven hours of total playing time (the two parts run in rotating repertory at Cygnet Theatre), and issue upon issue piled on, it’s hard to wrap your mind around this work of genius.

Why this play? And Why Now? Cygnet founding artistic director Sean Murray calls it “an all-encom-

PHOTO BY RACHEL ESTHER TATE.

THEATER | Cygnet |

Cygnet Angels Cast.

Top: Kevane La'Marr Coleman, Debra Wanger, Rosina Reynolds, James Newcomb. Bottom: Rachael VanWormer, Connor Sullivan, Wil Bethmann, Alex Bodine.

passing undertaking. I was doing a lot of musicals. I wanted to scare myself, to shake myself up. Those were my personal motivations.”

The planning for this season took place during the 2016 election.

“This seemed like the perfect response to what was going on,” he says. “We didn’t realize how incredibly relevant the piece would be.

Donald Trump and Roger Stone were both ‘Roy Boys’ who got from him an entrée into society, into the right places.

“Trump learned everything, all his tactics, from Cohn,” Murray continues. “In the play, Roy talks about his tactics and techniques: ‘Attack first. Deny everything.’ Karma does eventually show its face.”

When he was originally considering producing “Angels,” Murray says, he wasn’t trying to make a statement.

“I was surprised by how relevant the play is today. There are mentions of global warming and the ozone, climate change and how the government is falling apart, helmed by a self-centered narcissist. This play broke open the conversation about AIDS. It had an immediacy then, in the era of the plague; now the diagnosis of AIDS is not a literal death sentence. Now there are drugs and therapies, and people are living with HIV for years. But that doesn’t diminish the importance or the urgency of the story. If you didn’t live through that era, you can’t really grasp the horror of what it was like to be a gay man at that time.”

Murray was in the thick of it.

“In 1987, my partner died. He was diagnosed in 1986. He was 28; I was 26. I get the terror of what those characters are going through and doing the best they can. I was in school in North Carolina. I stayed in school. I made the Louis choices; I was too terrified to know what the right thing was.”

In the play, Louis abandons Prior; he can’t deal with the illness and the caregiving. He takes up with a married, conflicted Mormon man.

“I understand,” says Murray, “that people can be blinded by fear and emotion. My partner was in hospice for several months. I spent every day, all day with him.”

Louis is a fascinating character to Murray: hyper-verbal and hyper-intellectual.

“He’s funny when he gets going, but he doesn’t know he’s funny.

Ultimately, all his struggle has to be endearing. You have to root for him. He’s got to be one of those smart, neurotic, annoying friends that’s also fun to be around.”

Louis is played by Will Bethmann, like Murray and his associate artistic director Rob Lutfy, a talented alumnus of the University of North Carolina School of the Arts.

“The thing about this play that makes it so beautiful,” says Murray, “is that the characters are really rich and really flawed. They’re all struggling. They go outside their bounds to change. Roy is depicted as one of the most evil persons, hospitalized under the care of a gay AIDS nurse who hates him. But that nurse, Belize, arranges for Louis to say Kaddish for Roy.” Acclaimed local (and Shakespearean) actor James Newcomb plays Roy, a role that has been ferociously attacked by Ron Leibman, who won a Tony for the original Broadway production; Al Pacino, who garnered one of 11 Emmys for the HBO miniseries; and Nathan Lane, who snagged a Tony for the 2018 Broadway revival.

“Roy doesn’t change fully,” says Murray, “but he and Belize come to some kind of understanding. Roy is a terrified man facing mortality. He and Ethel even find some humor together. He defends his choices, says he hates traitors and communists. He thinks he did the right thing.”

Adar / Nisan 5779 SDJewishJournal.com 45

The Importance of Empathy What’s crucial in working on this play, says Murray, is “not to judge the characters. You have to try to understand and have empathy for them. Roy is backed into a corner, facing his own death. He has to justify himself.

I understand that. On his deathbed, my dad told his whole life story. Everyone wants to be remembered. At his end, Roy was alone, completely distrusted, disbarred, terrified.

You have to look for the humanity.

“A lot of the anti-Semitism in Roy’s life has fueled his behavior. It held him back. There were country clubs he couldn’t get into. He became a fighter and took revenge on his perceived enemies. What’s the point of him if we don’t see the human heart inside? It reminded me of Nixon, alone in the Lincoln Room talking to the paintings just before his forced resignation.”

Ethel, says Murray, serves as Roy’s conscience. “She’s come back to watch him die a horrible, painful death, just as she did. That’s her revenge. He says he’s proud of sending her to the electric chair. His ability to twist the story to his benefit is what is happening in the White House now. ‘I am not a homosexual,’ Roy says. ‘I’m a straight man who sleeps with men. Gay people are men without clout.

I have clout. Therefore, I’m not homosexual.’

“If there’s something that always haunted you, you go to the furthest extreme to defend it. Is Ethel a ghost torturing him? Or is he torturing himself? That’s for the audience to decide.”

But nothing is cut and dried in this play.

“Ethel’s hatred of Roy is so intense. She’s just gloating over the fact that he lost his law

license before he died. She wants to be the first to tell him. But when he starts to become vulnerable, she softens and sings to him. She goes from pure hatred to giving him the comfort of a mother in the end.”

At the beginning of the play, a Rabbi (played by Meryl Streep in the 2003 TV miniseries and by local favorite Rosina Reynolds at Cygnet) is giving a eulogy for Louis’ grandmother.

“He asks who we are as Americans,” says Murray. “He calls this ‘the melting pot where nobody melted.’ Later, the Angel tells Prior that we humans need to stop moving: Stay home. Stay put. Stop intermarrying. Just be happy. But Prior rejects that idea. Humans are imbued with curiosity, ambition, drive.

They’re always moving forward – to invent, create, progress. They can’t stop.

“We’re always talking about the future.

Nobody ever says ‘Things are working fine.

Let’s just leave them as they are.’ The American energy is always looking forward.”

Having recently found, from DNA testing, that his genes are three percent Jewish, Murray is fascinated by “the energy of Jewish thought” he finds in the play.

“He’s analyzing big themes, like justice and democracy, love and compassion and how to apply them in daily life. Each character goes through a crisis of the soul, descending to really dark places. And they all come out the better side of it.”

Twice, Murray has seen the two parts of “Angels” on the same day. Cygnet will also be offering a ‘marathon’ like that once a week.

But he insists you see “Millennium” first.

“There’s something hypnotic and power-

• • • • •

ful about that marathon. It’s like a live version of binge-watching a TV show. You get drawn in. Isn’t that what we want and need?

To really feel, and to be asked to think?”

The play, Murray is quick to point out, is also very funny.

“You can focus exclusively on the human side of the stories: the life, comedy, love.

Watching the characters evolve is amazing.

The whole sweep of the narrative is amazing.

“The production itself scares me more than the play. It’s so enormous, and we’re trying to do it on a budget. It’s a monster schedule,” he says of the four-week rehearsal period to stage two plays.

“It’s a combination of knowing exactly and precisely how it’s to be staged, and being open to collaboration and taking a side road if need be. Like taking a road trip; you have a map, but you have to be willing to go off the plan for side roads.”

What still thrills and delights him is that “characters that shouldn’t have anything in common find common ground. Even adversaries find common ground. At the end, everyone is mending and pulling together.

Maybe we need to find our way together in our own tough times.” A Part 1 “Millennium Approaches” and Part 2 “Perestroika” of “Angels In America: A Gay Fantasia On National Themes” run in rotating repertory at Cygnet Theatre in Old Town from March 6-April 20.Tickets and information: 619-337-1525; cygnettheatre.com. A Note: There are explicit sexual situations in the plays, as well as nudity and adult language.

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Celebrate home, celebrate Seacrest!

Seacrest Village Retirement Communities is celebrating 75 years of being a lifeline in the community. In this time, the Seacrest doors have not closed, not even for one night. Whether you choose our vibrant beach paradise in Encinitas or our welcoming inland community in Rancho Bernardo, you are home.

We offer senior living, independent, assisted, memory support, adult day services and healthcare, all in the warmth and friendliness of a Jewish environment.

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BY RABBI JACOB RUPP

W

e were facing complete destruction—our entire nation was to be wiped off the face of the earth in a single day. The plot of Haman was different than the Holocaust, which was a grueling, many-year process that at its zenith was still limited in scope to the Jews of Europe.

The jurisdiction of King Ahasuerus was 142 kingdoms, which was the entire civilized world. So, our destruction would be complete. There was nowhere to run. And it wouldn’t be a long process; every one of us would be slaughtered on a single day.

When faced with the enormity of such a situation, imagine the good fortune, the ultimate trump card, of Queen Esther being Jewish. The Talmud relates that it wasn’t clear if all of the Jews or just Mordechai knew Esther’s Jewish origin, but either way there seemed to be light at the end of the tunnel.

Imagine how you would approach Esther if you were him. How much reverence would you show? How much would you beg her?

How much glory and honor would you say awaited her if she’d just stand up and risk her life to save her people?

But instead, Mordechai said this to Esther: “Do not imagine that you will be able to escape in the King’s palace any more than the rest of the Jews. For if you persist in keeping silent at a time like this, relief and deliverance will come to the Jews from some other place, while you and you fathers house will perish.

And who knows whether it was just for such a time as this that you attained the royal position.”(Megillas Esther 4:13-14) Shocking. Mordechai had no doubt that the Jews would be saved. But he was sure that if Esther didn’t seize the opportunity to do what she could, her destruction was assured.

Let’s start at the top. If Esther didn’t do her part, the Jews would still be saved. Somehow.

The Jews are an eternal people, a promise stated by G-d to Abraham that we are literally indestructible. In Genesis, He is explicit that there would never be the need for a new covenant (another word for covenant is testament), and that we would be his people forever. From Pharaoh to ISIS, the total destruction of the Jewish race is an impossibility.

Not to say people haven’t tried. This one prophecy has been tested more than any others. But as we say on Passover, “In every generation they try to wipe us out and G-d saves us from their hand.” Despite all the pogroms, Holocausts, anti-Semitism, and the statistic impossibility that over the thousands of years we, a tiny people exiled from our homeland, survived the wars, the assimilations, cultural migrations, etc., I’m still here writing this article and you’re still here reading it. And all that was guaranteed thousands of years ago.

Go figure.

So, what was Mordechai telling Esther? It’s not up to you to save Judaism or the Jewish people. We don’t need saving. Rather it’s up to you to recognize that if you don’t do your best efforts to put yourself on the line to help your nation, you will lose out, not the nation.

It harkens back to a conversation I had with a friend in college. He came to me during those awkward and difficult days when I was the crazy frat guy experimenting with Orthodox Judaism, and like many, threw down the gauntlet of questions that I wouldn’t be able to answer until years later. He told me to convince him not to marry his non-Jewish girlfriend. He had made a careful calculation that even if he didn’t think his kids would be

Jewish, it was worth it because he was only one guy and he didn’t think it was fair to ask him to give up true love to save Judaism.

First of all, never try to convince anyone of anything. It never works. I had enough sense not to try that. But the above quoted passage is what to consider as a response to my friend. Judaism will never die because of anyone’s decisions. And trying to save Judaism by changing it, or broadening what it allows also won’t help, because Judaism was never in danger and so it never had to be altered. But what does happen is that when we don’t see ourselves as having the power and the obligation to strengthen ourselves and live the lives that G-d in the Bible lays out for us, it is us and our descendants who wind up finding ourselves removed from this ancient and holy religion.

And finally, Mordechai shared that maybe this moment was why everything had happened to Esther. She never wanted to be queen. She was snatched from the peace of her home by an evil and disgusting despot and put into a role and life she didn’t want. Think more “Game of Thrones” than Cinderella here. The king was a wicked man and Esther was a holy woman. But Mordechai told her that despite being put in what seemed like a horrific situation, it was this very situation that could be her greatest opportunity. This was her moment. A famous life coach named Tony Robbins sums this up; Life doesn’t happen to you, it happens for you. When you see yourself as a victim, there’s always room to be bitter, even if you are a queen. If you see the things in your life, no matter how hard they are, as potential opportunities to grow or help others, greatness and success are the only outcomes that follow.A

Adar / Nisan 5779 SDJewishJournal.com 49

FEATURE: Oscar party

Going Off Script: SDIFF’s Annual Oscar Viewing Party Raises Funds to Bring Educational Films into the Classroom

BY BRIE STIMSON

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lash bulbs. Couture dresses. Sitting poolside with a glass of champagne and the most delectable hors d’oeuvre. It’s just another day for the San Diego International Film Festival (SDIFF) who held their annual Oscar viewing party last month at a private $19 million home in Rancho Santa Fe. “It’s quite an elegant evening and it’s a lot of fun,” Tonya Mantooth, CEO and artistic director for SDIFF says.

The exclusive soiree included a red carpet, multiple flat screen TVs and catering from some of San Diego’s best chefs.

The black tie optional evening benefits the San Diego Film Foundation’s FOCUS on Impact education program, which brings festival films into the classroom.

“We’ve developed a partnership and also received endorsements both from the San Diego County Office of Education as well as the San Diego Unified School District,” Tonya tells me. She says the first two films they brought into schools were about homelessness and the environment.

“I was able to get [the films] in front of high school students, and really share with them kind of what are some of the really important global topics going on,” Tonya adds. “We bring the filmmaker in so we get a chance to do a question and answer peri-

50 SDJewishJournal.com | March 2019

od with them and the students are able to dive deeper into the material.”

Tonya says there are so many things that divide us these days. “Using film as an opportunity to come together and explore a topic is really important cause we feel until we can find our common ground, it’s going to be difficult to solve any problems,” she says. “And we see these high school students as really kind of the next generation. I mean they’re the next generation of change makers. They’re the ones going on to college and eventually making laws, starting businesses, doing urban planning.

So they need to start to recognize they have to be part of the solution.” She says the county and San Diego Unified have been very supportive of the program along with SDIFF’s patrons. “That’s what the Oscar party is about, it’s about helping us fund that so we can continue taking that out to more and more schools.”

As far as the Oscars, Tonya says the festival was fortunate in getting to screen several nominated films last fall. “We opened with ‘Can You Ever Forgive Me?’ which is up for three Oscar nominations as well as ‘The Favourite,’” she adds. “We also screened ‘Boy Erased.’ And all are up for nominations.” SDIFF also screened

“BlackkKlansman” and “One Small Step,” an animated short.

Starting last month, SDIFF is hosting their annual Film Insider Series that continue through July. The monthly screenings feature not-yet-released films, ranging from features and documentaries to foreign films. The films include pre and post-viewing cocktail parties with champagne and dessert and often a discussion with the filmmakers after the showing.

“That gives us a chance to keep our kind of film community together,” Tonya says of the series. “It’s our patrons and it’s our VIP pass holders. I’ll curate a film either before it goes out into theatrical release or a film that’s just still in its festival run, so it might have just premiered at Sundance or just premiered in Cannes, but now we have it. Very often I’ll bring the filmmaker down, or we’ll bring a film critic in and talk about the film so it’s a wonderful evening.”

“Something we’re so passionate about is like ‘Let’s get people together and let’s have a conversation. Let’s get back to talking to each other.’ And I know we all love to binge watch Netflix, I do too, but it’s also good to kind of get out and have those intellectual discussions, and I think film really can incite that.” A

FEATURE: JFS Gala

Magical Moments at the 2019 Jewish Family Service Heart & Soul Gala Honoring community members’ work with Alzheimer’s and immigration LEORAH GAVIDOR

A

t 32, Scott Schindler is the youngest director of the JFS Board and a chair for the annual Jewish Family Service Heart & Soul Gala. Grandson of Holocaust survivors Rose and Max Schindler, known in the San Diego Jewish community for being powerful advocates of Holocaust education, Scott got involved with JFS after attending law school and working for a few years at a La Jolla law firm. Six years later he was asked by the Gala committee chairs to join them.

“They invited me to bring what they called young blood and energy,” he laughed. “Originally, it was the Heart & Soul Gala that solidified my involvement with JFS, so I was honored and immediately accepted the opportunity.”

Two of the Gala honorees for 2019, Ilene Mittman and Aviva Saad, have been bringing their energy to the Balboa Avenue Older Adult Center for over a decade. Ilene has been volunteering there for 10 years and Aviva has run the center for 11. The BAOAC provides meals, games, hugs and comfort to those living with Alzheimer’s.

“Some of my earlier involvements were through Embrace-A-Family, supporting Somali refugees, and later, Holocaust Survivors who really needed help. It hit home for me that JFS is open to everyone – no matter what religion, race, or ethnicity,” Ilene reflected.

The ACLU of San Diego and Imperial Counties will also be honored at the gala for their work launching the San Diego Rapid Response Network. The celebration is timely: the city council recently voted to allow JFS to lease an old courthouse to shelter migrants in partnership with SDRRN. An interfaith organization that responds to the immigration crisis in San Diego, SDRRN helps care for the basic needs of the people housed at the shelter, and also helps them navigate the immigration system. JFS aids with funding for shuttles to court dates, supplies and operations.

“As many of us were former immigrants ourselves,” Scott said of the Jewish community, “we have an innate responsibility to help those who are trying to immigrate to this country.”

“Regardless of where you stand politically on immigration, these asylum seekers would be living on the streets without the Rapid Re-

Rose and Scott Schindler.

sponse Network and JFS. It’s better for our community to help these immigrants get to their families and immigration hearings than allowing them to roam the streets of San Ysidro.”

Scott grew up in Del Cerro, attending Patrick Henry High School and being a Bar Mitzvah at Temple Emanu-El. For him, the most rewarding part of being involved with Jewish Family Service as an adult is the opportunity to give back to the community that has done so much for his family since they moved here from New York in the 1950s.

“The gala is an amazing event where we reflect on the year of work for the Jewish and non-Jewish community, a great time to connect with friends and meet the movers and shakers of our town. But more importantly, it allows us to support what is, to me, the most important cause: helping the less fortunate.”

“It’s truly amazing to see how wide ranging JFS’s programs are, and they always highlight their work in such profound and moving anecdotes,” Scott said of attending past galas.

In its 26th year, the 2019 Heart & Soul Gala takes place Saturday, April 4 at the Hyatt La Jolla Aventine. Honorary Chairs Evelyn and Ernest Rady help make the annual event a success. Organizers expect about 600 guests for “Captivating stories, magical moments.” Scott is excited for this year’s entertainment: a magician and illusionist.

After the presentation, video montage, and delicious food (“I know it’s good, I got to do the tasting!” Scott assured), make sure to stick around for the dance party.

“Last year,” Scott added, “Rose Schindler—my grandmother—was the first and last on the dance floor.” A Adar / Nisan 5779 SDJewishJournal.com 51

TRAVEL: Eastern Europe

J

Rich Leib pointing out his family name at synagogue in Brasov, Romania.

52 SDJewishJournal.com | March 2019

ewish Baby Boomers, now in our mid-50s to early-70s, serve amongst the last primary-source heirs to our Eastern European-born grandparents and great-grandparents’ legacies. We remember their quaint Yiddish accents and phrases; the tangy-sweet apple strudel our bubbes (Jewish grandmas) prepared from memory; and the shadows of anti-Semitic traumas lingering deep in the creases around their eyes. Their stories, both told and untold, lurk inside us.

The Old Country voices I remember from childhood popped into my middle-aged brain with increasing urgency, beckoning me to Eastern Europe. This fall, my husband, sister and I answered the ancestral call and traveled to Poland, Ukraine and Romania to bear witness, trace family roots and shape fuzzy memories into narratives to pass down to future generations.

We understood this journey would be a reckoning with death and devastation — no easy ride down memory lane. We spent months customizing the trip with the assistance of Warsaw-based Taube Jewish Heritage Tours and the American Jewish Joint Distribution Committee’s (JDC) network of staff and local guides in Ukraine and Romania. JDC’s presence in Eastern Europe serves as a lifeline to the former Soviet Bloc’s enduring Jewish communities and provided us the priceless experience of forging connections wherever we went.

Our first stop: Debiça (Dembitz in Yiddish; population 47,000), the township in Poland’s southeast Galicia region my stunning, red-headed maternal great-grandmother fled in 1905 at age 16. Our guide led us to an unobtrusive black, granite memorial at the edge of Dębica’s forest inscribed in Hebrew and Polish “Here lie buried 500 Jewish victims murdered by Hitler’s bastards July 10,1942.” The anonymous skeletons of distant relatives beneath my feet brought me to tears.

Then we headed farther east to Ulanów, a charming village of 1,500 on Poland’s San River, that my maternal great-grandparents wisely departed in the 1890s, before anti-Semitic pogroms and the Nazis decimated its Jewish population. We strode through prickly sting-

Broken headstones transformed into memorial at Debiça’s Jewish cemetery.

ing nettle to Ulanów’s desecrated Jewish cemetery and viewed scant remnants of its once-thriving Jewish presence in a cramped museum maintained by the town historian.

We headed still farther east, our van jolting down deeply rutted Ukrainian roads into the architecturally magnificent western Ukrainian city L’viv. Blessed by its proximity to the European Union, L’viv boasts a thriving café culture and established tourist infrastruc-

Marker on edge of DebiZa’s forest demarcating site Nazis gunned down and buried the town’s Jews in a mass grave.

ture. From there, we flew through Kiev to Odessa, the once lustrous Pearl of the Black Sea now fading and economically ravaged by Russia’s persistent military threat to Ukraine.

My paternal grandfather, the son of a prosperous Jewish family, grew up 93 miles northwest of Odessa in Ananyiv (population 8,500).

His immediate family survived pogroms where, as a young boy, he witnessed a dozen male relatives massacred by Russian revolutionaries.

After years of deprivation, he made it to the U.S. in 1927 at age 15.

As we drove into Ananyiv, we saw farmers tilling the rich, black Ukrainian soil with horse-drawn plows. Small, thatched-roof farmhouses dotted the landscape. I felt we’d time-traveled back 90 years. I imagined our Grandpa Fred as a teenager fishing in the Tyligul River bordering the town. After our emotional visit with an elderly Jewish woman – one of ten remaining Ananyiv Jews supported by the JDC, we returned to modernity in Odessa.

Then we boarded a flight to Romania to trace my husband’s paternal grandfather’s roots in Ploiesti, a city of 210,000, located 35 miles north of sprawling Bucharest. The female head of Ploiesti’s Jewish community greeted us with warmth and platters of pastry at the city’s lovingly restored, onion-domed, pale pink Marea Synagogue.

She showed my husband a ledger with entries recording the deaths of Ploiesti’s Jewish community from the early 1900s to the present. His eyes widened when he discovered a page of Leibovicis – his family’s pre-Americanized name. Long-obscured family history became present reality.

While walking our ancestral Eastern European lands, we unearthed stories bubbling like black tar just below the surface. Memories of our beloved grandparents and great-grandparents welled up and comforted us. My husband, sister and I, blessed to be native Californians, feel forever grateful to them for making it out of Eastern Europe’s killing fields to our free-spirited, sunny state. Our travels forged an unforgettable link to the past and equipped us with the knowledge to pass our ancestral stories down to generations to come. A Adar / Nisan 5779 SDJewishJournal.com 53

FEATURE: PJ Library Books

Who is Harold Grinspoon and why should we care about him?

BY PATRICIA GOLDBLATT

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or readers, especially early readers and toddlers who love to snuggle close to their parents, a book is so much more than words on a page. Incredibly, more than 200,000 books that focus on Jewish life, holidays and relationships are mailed monthly in the United States and Canada, with a total of 12,306,738 books.

The Harold Grinspoon Foundation PJ Library was created 25 years ago through partnerships with philanthropists and local Jewish organizations, welcoming all Jewish families, whatever background, knowledge, family make-up, or observance and is free to subscribers.

These charmingly illustrated, well told missives represent a wide spectrum of Jewish families. A great deal of thought goes into which books will arrive every month, some even having won prestigious awards such as the Caldecott Medal and the Sydney Taylor Book Award, others as finalists for the National Jewish Book Award. As well, the foundation is also open to new writers.

Focused on children between six months and eight years of age, the committee responsible for the book selection is guided by some of the following questions: -Does the book contain a message of strong Jewish values?

-Will children want to return to this book again and again?

-Does the book reflect historical Jewish life, contemporary Jewish life or some valuable aspect of the Jewish experience?

-Will this book prompt family discussions about Jewish topics and lead families to consider making Jewish choices?

The books purport to positive and life-affirming messages and concepts, avoiding issues of the Holocaust, death and grieving with a focus on the joy of being Jewish. With the intent of stimulating conversations and piquing interest, PJ Library books aspire to embed Jewish practices and ideas that resonate with their young readers’ daily lives.

For example, “First Rain” tells the story of Abby who has moved to Israel. In spite of eating delicious falafel and floating in the Dead Sea, she longs for her grandmother, particularly how they enjoyed splashing together in puddles on rainy days. In “All Kinds of Strong,” Sa54 SDJewishJournal.com | March 2019

die Rose tackles an incident in her tight-knit immigrant community.

Throughout these tales, a shared literary canon, an insight into how a mensch behaves is communicated to children the world over as each home receives the same title and a common understanding has been forged.

My niece, who has been receiving the books for her children for two years, picked up on the theme of cherished intergenerational dynamics by commenting, “on the nice emphasis concerning the grandparent-grandchild relationship ... ‘Bubbie’s Got the Beat’ was really good because you don’t always see a whole lot [of that kind of bonding] in modern children’s literature. My son is really close with his bubbie and zaydie, and we like to foster that relationship so those books are close to our hearts.” She continued, “I’ve also noticed that the people in a good number of the books aren’t all just the usual presentation of Jewish people as uniformly Caucasian. We received one called 'Jewish Faces' that shows people of diverse backgrounds celebrating Jewish holidays and events. So, too, there are a few pictures of children of East Asian descent lighting Shabbos candles." Pensively, she reflected, “Other [PJ Library] books also show kids with disabilities participating in Jewish activities… as someone who used to teach kids with disabilities, I think [that portrayal] is good.”

My own daughter described her children’s reactions. “Remy’s favorite book is called ‘Say Hello, Lily!’ about a shy little girl who visits a nursing home with her mother and gets to know the residents there.

She loves them so much she decides to celebrate her birthday party with them. Remy just loves it I think because she can see herself in Lily. Another favorite of Remy’s is 'Purim Masks.' That one she keeps beside her bed and she loves reading about the Purim characters."

All of the stories are very relatable to children. There’s one story about Kayla and her dog, Kugel, who causes all kinds of trouble at Passover; and Rhett, (Remy’s older brother), loves that one. The stories have colorful pictures and they keep the kids’ attention spans.”

In this way, Jewish holidays become not merely rich settings for val-

ued exchanges, but in themselves special treasures of traditions and a meaningful way to highlight diverse ways Jews live in our contemporary world. With humorous touches such as a dog named Kugel and lively drawings, these books become mainstays in their owners’ homes and hearts. Books from PJ Library are written in Spanish, Russian, Hebrew and English and are sent worldwide, finding new homes in Singapore, Uruguay, South Africa, Spain, Russia, Saskatoon – wherever there are Jews anxious to particiPJ Library Books pate in a reading community and willing to educate their children about the values of living a good Jewish life.

Inspired by Dolly Parton and her program to give books away to children ages 0-5, Grinspoon discovered that the U.S. government allowed his foundation to mail one pound, the books typically weighing about half of that.

His aim was to offer a great story with great Jewish content. In addition to the books, Tzedakah boxes accompany a deck of ‘kindness’ cards that teach children about the idea of Tzedakah (charity).

My daughter further explains how the cards have impacted her son, Rhett. “I have to say it was really nice to teach them about Rhett, playing the Tzedakah card game. the importance of Tzedakah and ways we can be kind to and help others. Then too, The Kindness Card games really reinforce suggestions for honoring elders, being a friend, being kind to animals, etc.”

Although even very young children today receive immediate gratification on their iPads, there is something very special about the anticipation of a gift that arrives through the mail: an offering excitedly anticipated by families, particularly children once a month. A second niece of mine expands on that idea in her comment, “Yes, the kids get PJ Library books. They really enjoy them. Of course the surprise factor of ripping open a package to find something new inside is part of it.”

She continues, “Some of the books have become favorites. There is one, ‘Something From Nothing,’ which is modeled on a classic Jewish folktale, which both kids are addicted to!” Here too, Jewish legends,

bubamisces, Hasidic tales, bits, songs, Bible stories, lessons, and tales from our history and literature is retold or reimagined, hinted at or embedded into the narrative. So past and present are aligned, demonstrating to readers that Judaism offers an enduring dynamic presence in their everyday world.

In The Forward in 2017, Jake Romm interviewed Grinspoon, who grew up in the throes of anti-Semitism, hassled and bullied by his peers at public school. He recalls, “I started out as a very poor boy in a two-family house. I always knew that if I ever made any money, I would give it away ‘Jewishly.’ My thinking was affected by the fact that one third of the Jewish people were annihilated by Hitler. My father left Ukraine in 1908 at eight years old, and I think in some way, this project is a memorial to all those Jews who died from anti-Semitic persecution … That creativity and development that contributed to my success wasn’t just happening overnight, it happened over centuries of scholarship and learning.”

Grinspoon, an entrepreneur, knows the importance of implanting books into the Jewish communal experience and has invested over $200 million in Jewish philanthropic causes. He has even signed Warren Buffet and Bill and Melinda Gates’ “Giving Pledge,” a commitment to dedicate at least half of one’s wealth to philanthropy. Grinspoon’s foundation’s other main direction is awarding money to local college students with strong entrepreneurship initiatives – not to fund just a specific project or idea, necessarily, but to recognize ambitions, curiosity and creativity and help start them on the path to leadership. Over the last 15 years, the foundation has given more than 825 awards and $630,000 directly to students.

Environmental incentives are also integral to Grinspoon’s vision.

He donates heavily to a number of new initiatives that include the Partnership for Excellence in Jewish Education, to seed day schools and the Birthright Israel Foundation, underwriting trips for young Jewish adults. He and his wife, Diane Troderman, a former Brookline High School teacher, have established programs to aid Hebrew teachers, defray costs for Jewish camp and school tuition and match charitable contributions teenagers make from their bar and bat mitzvah money.

PJ Library (PJ stands for pyjamas) had its origins in a family Passover seder, when Grinspoon observed his grandchildren delight in the kind of Jewish books the 88-year-old philanthropist never had growing up poor in Newton, Maine.

“When you start a family, that is the moment when a lot of people stop and think: ‘What traditions and values am I passing on to the next generation?’” observed Sandler Grinspoon, Harold’s daughterin-law, to the Boston Globe.

The comments of my daughter and nieces, all tech-savvy in their professions and homes, address the enduring importance of books, especially books with Jewish content, in their children’s growth and development as future citizens in our world today. How wonderful that there are people like Harold Grinspoon willing to tackle the challenge of ensuring Jewish children find themselves in books. A

Adar / Nisan 5779 SDJewishJournal.com 55

PURIM FACTS, FACTOIDS AND FUN

ILLUSTARTION COURTESY PEPÉ FAINBERG

PURIM

BY MARNIE MACAULEY

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urim is upon us! This fun-filled holiday, celebrated on the 14th of Adar (secular: Purim 2019 will begin in the evening of Wednesday, March 20, and ends on the evening of Thursday, March 21) celebrates our salvation in ancient Persia from the evil Haman, thanks to Esther’s Yiddishe kop! We Jews take such joy from besting Haman – for many it’s a “Jewish” Mardi Gras!

In the spirit of the holiday, here are some fascinating and fun facts to share while “shikkering” (drinking).

THE GREAT DEBATE Oreos vs. Hydrox, the chicken vs. the egg, building a big wall vs. not. For centuries, we Jews have debated, deliberated and gone meshugge, asking which/who/what is best, bester, bestest? On Purim should it also not follow, that we get to the core of yet another meritorious debate? Which is better: The LATKE vs. the HAMANTASH? This critical issue became “official” when, in 1946, the University of Chicago made the debate virtually a yearly event. Other academic institutions, including Harvard, MIT and Princeton have followed suit.

According to Ruth Fredman Cernea, in “The Great Latke-Hamantash Debate,” the event “provided a rare opportunity for faculty to reveal their hidden Jewish souls and poke fun at the high seriousness of everyday academic life.” The debate is also said 56 SDJewishJournal.com | March 2019

to have arisen from a tradition of spoofing Talmudic study during Purim. Of course, in the academic demand for primary sources, both “subjects” are gobbled afterward.

It gets better. If you think this is just some foolishness, you’re right (vs. maybe not right). Brilliant minds have entered the fray.

Nobel Laureates, PhDs, professors, philosophers and other machers have lent their unique perspectives, striding into the halls of learning in academic regalia to the tune of “Pomp and Circumstance.” No doubt they bravely wish to get in touch with their inner Jackie Mason, which, face it, takes more raw guts that futzing with quarks. (You think it’s easy to apply cosmic significance to “Haman’s ear” through applying Hegel, Freud and Plato to the mishegas?)

Here are a few examples of such rigorous, wild and crazy analysis over the years: • “A latkedikh or a hamentashenlikh personality is determined by mother’s breast-feeding behavior during the first two weeks of life” – Psychologist Kenneth Kaye citing.

• Freud’s “Constipation and its Discontents” and “The Goy and the Yid.” • “The hamentaschen’s superiority is proved by the epicurean significance of the “edible triangle” in light of the literary “Oedipal triangle.” – Former Princeton president, Harold Tafler Shapiro.

• “The hamantaschen is a womb equivalent,

worshiped in early matriarchal societies.” – Professor Wendy Doniger.

• “Which is Better: The Latke or the Hamantash?’” is an invalid question, as it is culturally biased, implies gender specificity, exhibits geographical chauvinism, and appeals to special interests.” (Simply, this question would not pass scrutiny on an SAT test and worse, is Politically Incorrect.) – Professor Isaac Abella posited.

• “The whole thing is a conspiracy theory involving Sigmund Freud and the Manischewitz company” – posited by Professor Allan Bloom.

• “The latke is increasing the United States’ dependence on oil.” – Professor Alan Dershowitz.

Personally, I feel the wrong question is being asked. Rather than comparing the proverbial “apples vs. oranges,” a far more important issue is “THE HAMANTASH: PRUNE VS. POPPY SEED.” It’s my contention that while the poppy seed more accurately resonates with our real and metaphorical issues with Haman (may all Hamans get them under their bridgework), the prune relates more authentically to our Jewish belief in the health benefits the importance of proper colon regulation.

A history of these debates by Ruth Fredman Cernea was published by the University of Chicago Press in 2006.

A BISSEL PURIMS? About 100 Little Purims (Purim Katan) are celebrated annually in various parts of the world to commemorate a time when local Jews were saved from enemies. For example: Place/ Est. Algiers, 1540 Baghdad, 1822 Belgrade, 1822 Cairo, 1524 Castille, 1339 advisor Prague, 1620 II Rome, 1793 Vilna, 1794

Observed 4th of Cheshvan 11th of Av 19th of Sivan 28th of Adar first of Adar

Event saved in Spanish-Algerian wars ending Persian oppression saved during Turk-Serbian war saved from extermination saved after accusations by the King’s

14th of Cheshvan saved under auspices of Emperor Ferd. first of Shevat 15th of Av

ghetto saved from attack saved during Russo-Polish war

DON’T IGNORE NICANOR! If “Festivus is for the rest of us,” according to George Costanza’s father on “Seinfeld,” “Jews shouldn’t ignore Nicanor!” This long-forgotten holiday, occurring the day before Purim, was originally observed as a festival. But by the seventh century, it all but disappeared, replaced by the Fast of Esther. Nicanor Day marked the anniversary of Judah the Maccabee’s defeat of Syrian general Nicanor in 161 B.C.E. – by beheading. We Jews eat Haman’s ears on Purim, I shudder to think what we’d be nibbling on Nicanor.

THE PURIM PLAY’S THE THING Medieval Jews added humor to the elaborate plays based on Biblical stories in celebration of Purim. Clowns would lead processions

through the streets to the play itself. Four types of Yiddish comedians evolved: • Nar or Lets: pure slapstick comics • Payats: recited the Prologue, gave stage directions, or recaptured a bored audience by spouting puns or standing on their heads • Marshelik: class acts; master of ceremonies • Badkhen: sharp-witted wedding commentators These late medieval plays became the seed corn for the modern Yiddish Theater in the late 1800s and early 1900s which, thanks largely to the work of producer, playwright, and manager, Abraham Goldfaden, were filled with hysteria – in geshreis and laughter – by Yiddish comedians and actors such as Sigmund Mogulesko, Aaron Lebedoff, Ludwig Satz, Max Bozyk, Michel Rosenberg, the Burstein family, Jacob Jacobs, Leo Fuchs, Henrietta Jacobson, Molly Picon, Menasha Skolnik and Muni Weisenfreund a.k.a. Paul Muni!

WACKY WACKY & MORE WACKY Purim is the most playful of holidays with “naughty” tricks and treats. For example, during one Purim in Israel, the national television station presented the news – upside down. Another year a major radio station announced that a huge amount of crude oil was discovered under central Tel Aviv, and a major daily paper came out with a phony front page. On Purim, a bissel carousing is “recommended” by a higher authority. Talmudic law suggests one drink enough not to know the difference between “Blessed be Mordecai” and “Cursed be Haman.” However, if you start mixing up your “blesseds and curses” you’ve had one too many! A

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Adar / Nisan 5779 SDJewishJournal.com 57

DIVERSIONS: “Untogether”

BILLY CRYSTAL PLAYS A RABBI FOR THE FIRST TIME IN THIS INDIE DRAMA

BY STEPHEN SILVER, JTA NEWS Billy Crystal in “Untogether.”

O

n the surface, “Untogether” is a drama about a pair of young women struggling to come into their own as adults in contemporary Los Angeles. While that setup may sound mind-numbingly familiar to fans of American indie film, “Untogether” — which debuts Friday in theaters in several cities as well as on demand — is different from the norm in a couple of key ways.

First, the film is very Jewish for the genre, both in theme and cast.

Second, it represents the anticipated film debut of Jewish writer Emma Forrest, the British-American journalist and novelist who wrote an acclaimed memoir, “Your Voice In My Head,” back in 2011 (it covered, among other things, her relationship with movie star Colin Farrell). She wrote the “Untogether” screenplay and directed the movie.

Real-life sisters Jemima Kirke (best known for her role in Lena Dunham’s “Girls”) and Lola Kirke (best known for roles in “Mistress America” and “Mozart in the Jungle”) play the main characters. Jemima’s character is an ex-junkie and aspiring writer who is dating a doctor-turned-war-memoirist played by “Fifty Shades of Grey” heartthrob Jamie Dornan. Her sister, a masseuse, is dating a much older rock star (Ben Mendelsohn, to whom Forrest was formerly married), but soon finds herself drawn to a liberal rabbi played by Crystal, who’s even older.

While Crystal may have sounded very rabbinical while eulogizing at Muhammad Ali’s funeral back in 2016, and has told numerous rabbi jokes throughout his long career, “Untogether” marks the first time he has ever played a rabbi in a movie.

In addition to Crystal, “Dirty Dancing” star Jennifer Grey has a small role in the film, as does Scott Caan (son of Jewish actor James Caan).

The Kirke sisters have a Jewish mother and Israeli grandmother.

Several scenes are set in a synagogue, and at one point, one character suggests that another has “copy-edited the Torah.” The rabbi character, Forrest said, is inspired by an “amalgamation” of Los Angeles rabbis, including David Wolpe, Mordecai Finley and Sharon Brous.

While the film is Forrest’s first to be produced, it was far from her first screenplay. In fact, she’s spent several years in Los Angeles as a screenwriter, and had two different films for which she wrote screenplays fall apart shortly before production. She was able to get the film financed, with herself as director, by agreeing to a low budget and by getting Dornan, then in the middle of the “Fifty Shades” series, on

58 SDJewishJournal.com | March 2019

board to star. She described it as “a small film, just with people talking in rooms.”

The London-born Forrest became a music journalist when she was a teenager, later writing three novels and then her memoir before getting into screenwriting. “Untogether” isn’t 100 percent autobiographical, but Forrest did incorporate various inspirations from her own life.

“Yes, in the sense that I take things that have happened to me, or I wish things that had happened to me, or things that happened to me where I wish I could change the ending,” she said.

One big thing that inspired her was her Jewish background. Raised in a Jewish family in London, Forrest wrote in her memoir about how affected she was, at a very low moment in her life, by a synagogue sermon delivered by the well-known Rabbi David Wolpe, of Sinai Temple in Los Angeles. She described Wolpe as “a real moral force” and added that “certainly Billy’s character is the one in the piece who has the strongest moral clarity.” “[Being Jewish] is a massive part of who I am,” she said. “In the time of my life a long time ago when I didn’t like myself, it was one of the things that I did like about myself … When you’re struggling with how to stay alive, it’s helpful to recognize [that you are] singing the same songs that people had sung a thousand years earlier. And part of that choosing to stay alive was carrying on a bloodline.”

Crystal at first passed on the part, but a rewrite ultimately got him on board, and Forrest said she got valuable input from him, which “really enriched the script and the film.”

As for the Kirke sisters, Forrest knew that she wanted real sisters playing sisters. She also praised the acting the Kirkes do, particularly with their faces. “[They] have really lively, interesting faces. It has to be a face that you want to stay with. It means a face where you can feel what’s happening underneath the surface,” Forrest said.

She also compared Jemima’s acting style to that of the prolific Jewish actress Rachel Weisz.

As for the line about copy-editing the Torah, Forrest said that came from her own observations about how, as the character says in the film, “there are too many ‘and’s’” in Jewish prayer texts.

“I think that’s from me,” she said. A

FOOD | Yael Aires

MY PRIVATE PANTRY with Yael Aires yaelaires@gmail.com

I was born South Africa. I emigrated to San Diego In 1990. I started My Private Pantry 2012. Baking biscotti, granola and desserts made to order, I am happiest on my own and baking up a storm in my kitchen.

I grew up in a house where my mom did all the cooking and baking. She taught me to bake and cook, and at first I had to do everything by hand, the old fashioned way. Slowly I was allowed to use the electric hand beater and then later the stand mixer as well as other electrical appliances.

I especially loved watching her bake everything so carefully and with such love. She always told me that baking is a science! You have to follow the recipe exactly and you can’t bake in a hurry! Cooking is much more forgiving!

She can be found at: www.myprivatepantry.com, Facebook and Instagram.

Bernice’s Poppy Seed Cake This cake can be made parev by substituting non-dairy milk and margarine. It is a very delicious old fashioned cake and a must bake for poppy seed lovers!

Ingredients: 1 cup butter 1 1/4 cup sugar 4 eggs 1 tsp Vanilla 1 tsp orange rind 2 cup flour 2 1/2 tsp baking powder Pinch salt 3/4 cup milk 1/2 cup poppy seeds

Directions: 1. Heat oven to 350 degrees.

2. Cream butter and sugar.

3. Add eggs one at a time.

4. Add vanilla and rind.

5. Add sifted dry ingredients alternately with the milk.

6. Add poppy seeds.

7. Bake 45 minutes.

8. Cool in tin for 10 minutes before turning out onto a cooling rack.

9. Place a baking sheet under the rack.

Glaze: 1/2 cup + 2 tbsp orange juice 6 tbsp honey 6 tbsp sugar

Glaze 1. Boil together 1/2 cup + 2 tbsp orange juice, 6 tbsp honey, 6 tbsp sugar 2. Pour over warm cake.

3. Scrape up the glaze that has dropped onto the baking sheet and pour over cake until it is all used up.

Adar / Nisan 5779 SDJewishJournal.com 59

what’s goin’on?

| By Eileen Sondak

San Diego Opera presents “Three Decembers.”

Cygnet Angels Cast.

The La Jolla Playhouse unveiled its world premiere of the musical “Diana,” recently – under the direction of Christopher Ashley. The story of this fairytale princess and her troubled marriage features a contemporary score by Tony Award-winning composer/lyricist David Bryan. “Diana” will captivate audiences through April 7, with its emotionally charged plot and strong production values. The Playhouse will also showcase “Light Years Away,” a POP production that has been touring the schools for the past two months.

This show will be performed March 9-10.

Fourth Symphony. On March 9-10, the orchestra will perform Beethoven’s Piano Concerto No. 2. Robert Spano will conduct the three-piece program, with pianist Jorge Federico as guest artist.

The Old Globe will continue to bring “Familiar” to the Main Stage through March 3. “Familiar” is an engrossing black comedy that promises subtlety and insights on marriage, tradition and what it means to be an American family. The Globe’s sister stage, the White Theatre, is presenting the West Coast premiere of “Tiny Beautiful Things” through March 10. Based on a bestseller, the play follows the relationships between an anonymous advice columnist and the many real-life readers who pour their hearts out to her. The dramatic work is touching and uplifting, but it’s not recommended for children.

The Globe is ready to unwrap the U.S. premiere of a new musical, titled “Life After.” This bittersweet story of a young girl’s grieving and questioning the death of her famous father will be on the Globe’s Main Stage March 22 through April 28. Barry Edelstein will direct the witty and life-affirming musical.

The San Diego Opera will culminate its season with one of the most popular operas of all time, “Carmen.” The Bizet masterwork, about the fiery gypsy and the naïve soldier who sacrifices all for his passion, features dramatic music and stunning production values. It will occupy the Civic Theater March 30 through April 7, with Ginger Costa-Jackson in the title role.

The Fox Film Series will present F.W.’s Murnau’s “Sunrise” on March 14, with Russ Peck on the organ. Following on March 22-23 is Puccini’s “Glorious Mass,” with three guest soloists performing with the San Diego Master Chorale. Along with the Puccini piece, Maestro Speranza Scappcci will lead the orchestra for Haydn’s Symphony No. 88. The Family ConThe San Diego Opera continues its Detour Season at Patrick cert Series will round out the month at Symphony Hall on Henry’s Phame Theater with “Three Decembers.” The op- March 31 with “Peter and the Wolf: The Prokofiev Classic.” era explores truth and lies in an intimate meditation on the Broadway-San Diego’s charming production of Disney’s “Aladfamily we wish for – and the family we end up with. This din,” the hit Broadway musical, will end its run at the Civic fascinating work, conducted by Adam Turner, will be per- Theater on March 3. The stunning production has songs by formed March 8-10. award-winning Alan Menken to propel the plot.

City Ballet will perform “Balanchine Masterpieces” on the stage of the Spreckels Theater March 8-10. This is a rare opportunity to experience the stunning designs of one of ballet’s greatest choreographers. The program includes “Apollo,” “Rubies” and “The Four Temperaments.”

The Irish Rovers will return to the Balboa Theatre on March 9 with a rollicking performance, followed on March 16 by “Randy Rainbow Live,” when the comedian/singer delivers his brand of political spoofs and song parodies. On March 24, “The Official Blues Brothers Review” (a group hand-picked The San Diego Symphony continues its first season under the

by Dan Aykroyd and the original director, Paul Shaffer) will new music director on March 1 & 2 with “De Waart Conducts perform at the Balboa.

Mahler 4.” The concert features soprano Joelle Harvey in a

program that includes a work by Barber as well as Mahler’s

60 SDJewishJournal.com | March 2019

“Tiny Beautiful Things” will be at the Old Globe until March 10.

The Fox Film Series will present F.W. Murnau’s “Sunrise” on March 14

North Coast Repertory Theatre is focusing on the West Coast premiere of “Gabriel,” a haunting tale of wartime drama that promises to keep audiences on the edge of their seats. This award-winning off-Broadway play will run through March 17 at the troupe’s Solana Beach home. Variety Nights return on March 4, when Impro Theatre’s “L.A. Noir UnScripted” performs at NCR, followed on March 5, by “Men are from Mars – Women are from Venus LIVE!” a comedy starring Ryan Drummond. On March 11, the troupe will host a “Cabaret,” followed on March 18 by a solo show titled “Pete Seeger,” written and performed by Randy Noonjin.

Ukulele Orchestra of Great Britain at the Balboa Theater on March 29 to cap off the month.

San Diego Repertory Theatre will continue its staging of Hershey Felder’s one-man show, “Beethoven,” through March 24. Felder takes on the persona and performs the music of the iconic composer in the show. Felder inhabits two additional characters as well in this very special production.

San Diego Junior Theatre will present Disney’s “Moana Jr.” March 1-17.

Cygnet Theatre is staging “Angels in America,” Tony Kushner’s “Gay Fantasia on National Themes” in rotating repertory. Part one, Titled “Millennium Approaches,” will alternate with Part Two: “Perestroika” March 6 through April 20.

The play is recommended for adults only, but it is considered one of our finest contemporary dramas. Sean Murray is set to direct.

The Lamb’s Players will unveil “Chaps!” on March 5 at its Coronado home. The comedy (set in London during World War II) is about the frenzy surrounding a live broadcast, when some singing cowboys are late for the show. “Chaps!” is described as “Monty Python meets the Wild West,” so take the whole family to enjoy this hilarious romp. It will stay put through April 14.

La Jolla Music Society has an eclectic slate this month, starting on March 8 at the Civic Theatre with a performance by the acclaimed Joffrey Ballet. Violinist Bomsori Kim will perform on March 10 at TSRI, followed on March 26-27 by the ever-popular Alvin Ailey American Dance Theatre, performing at Symphony Hall. The Society will feature the

Malashock Dance will hold its 3rd annual fundraiser on March 23. Dubbed “High Fashion Meets Modern Dance,” the event promises to deliver entertainment, culinary arts and experiences to “wow” the senses.

San Diego Musical Theatre is offering a pre-professional production of “Freaky Friday” March 22-31.

JCompany continues its 26th season at the La Jolla JCC with “Madagascar Jr.” Weekends from March 9-24.

More than 1,000 singers, representing a litany of choral groups, will come together at the Spreckels Organ Pavillion on March 23 for a free concert.

The Museum of Art is featuring works by Mexican sculptor Javier Marin. His fascinating pieces feature human body parts, heads and powerful naked forms to explore the meaning of humanity.

Birch Aquarium is highlighting “Hall of Fishes,” which also serves as a working laboratory. Birch has an installation on light by scientist Michael Latz and another exhibition that helps you understand Scripps’ expeditions to discover and protect the planet. “Expedition at Sea” includes a 33-foot long projected triptych and hands-on learning opportunities.

The newest exhibition at the Birch is “Research in Action: 100 Island Challenge,” an exhibit that explores the way reefs are adapting to our rapidly changing planet. Also on display is “Oddities: Hidden Heroes of the Scripps Collection,” a comic book-inspired exhibit that highlights amazing adaptations of ocean species. In addition, Birch will feature visits to a local tide pool (throughout March) and Whale Watching Cruises (through mid-April).A

Adar / Nisan 5779 SDJewishJournal.com 61

the news

35th Annual Mission Federal ArtWalk Hosting Surfboard Art Auction This year’s Mission Federal ArtWalk in Little Italy will feature a Surfboard Art Auction in partnership with Rerip, a nonprofit organization that specializes in repurposing surfboards to minimize waste.

The auction will benefit ArtReach, Mission Federal ArtWalk’s nonprofit partner that delivers visual arts education to underserved K-8 schools throughout San Diego County. In celebration of Mission Federal ArtWalk’s 35th anniversary and to recognize San Diego’s iconic beach culture, Rerip has provided 35 upcycled surfboards for artists to transform using various mediums including painting, mosaic, woodwork and more. The artfully transformed boards will be auctioned off through a silent auction online and in the Piazza della Famiglia during the event. singer-songwriter, Jason Mraz, is participating and has been creating his own one-of-a-kind surfboard that will be available for auction online and in person at Mission Federal ArtWalk, where the surfboards will be on display. Mission Federal ArtWalk will be located between Ash and Grape Streets in San Diego’s Little Italy neighborhood. The event will run from 11 a.m. to 6 p.m. on Saturday, April 27 and Sunday, April 28. Attendance is free.

Jimbo’s Donates Nearly 1,500 Pounds of Smart Chicken to Jewish Family Service Jimbo’s…Naturally!, the natural grocer, and Smart Chicken donated more than 1,490 pounds of fresh chicken last month to Jewish Family Service of San Diego. Smart Chicken pledged to donate one pound of chicken for every 10 pounds of chicken sold at Jimbo’s in November 2018 for the “Smart Giving, Smart Chicken Program.” This is the 16th consecutive year Jimbo’s and Smart Chicken have partnered to help feed those in need.

JFS CEO Michael Hopkins said the donation will be a part of over 5,500 meals in Hand Up Food Pantry and Corner Market.

62 SDJewishJournal.com | March 2019

Israel’s First Moon Mission Will Conduct Scientific Measurements After nearly a decade, the Israeli unmanned Moon mission “Beresheet” (“Genesis” in Hebrew), which launched Feb. 21, should land on the moon around two months after takeoff.

Prof. Oded Aharonson, of the Weizmann Institute of Science’s Department of Earth and Planetary Sciences, is head of the international science team, and will be watching closely as the craft approaches the moon and initiates the scientific part of the mission.

The cost of planning and building the spacecraft was $100 million, most of it contributed by private donors, led by the president of SpaceIL, philanthropist Morris Kahn. The project is an independent initiative started by the three founders of SpaceIL, who had two main objectives in mind: to land the first Israeli space vehicle on the Moon and to inspire a new generation of students to study science and technology. The three, Yariv Bash, Kfir Damari, and Yonatan Winetraub, had entered Israel into the Google LunarX Prize competition. Although the competition officially ended in March 2018 with no winners, SpaceIL announced that it would continue working toward the goal of landing on the Moon.

Since the establishment of SpaceIL in 2011, the mission of a lunar landing has become a national project, receiving support from many quarters. Israel Aircraft Industries has been a full partner in the project from the beginning. Other supporters include government-owned companies and academia, most prominently the Weizmann Institute of Science, the Israel Space Agency, Israel’s Ministry of Science, Bezek Communications and more. Private donors include Dr. Miri and Sheldon Adelson, Sylvan Adams, Sammy Segol, Lynn Schusterman and Stephen Grand.

Ladies Rock San Diego Hosts Second Annual Program Ladies Rock San Diego (LRSD), a rock empowerment camp for women 18 and older, returns to San Diego Friday, March 22 through Sunday, March 24 at A Reason to Survive (A.R.T.S.) in National City. At the three-day intensive program, participants form a band, learn an instrument, write an original song and perform live in front of friends, family and the community in the Voodoo Room at House of Blues on Sunday, March 24. LRSD is a collaborative and inclusive program where women encourage, empower and inspire each other while rocking out! All proceeds from LRSD support Rock n’ Roll Camp for Girls San Diego, a nonprofit organization that brings the community together to empower girls through music. This year, the girls camp will be held from Monday, July 22 through Friday, July 26 at A.R.T.S.

Jewish-Owned Fun Center Expanding, Adding Laser Tag, More Games and Changing Name

Nickel City Fun Center on Miramar Road, plans to expand to include space for the new games, including, laser tag, a laser maze and Time Freak, a fast-paced one-on-one competition game requiring quick hand-eye coordination.

Local Jewish businessman Steve Krongard has owned Nickel City since 2008 when it was in Carmel Mountain. The center was relocated to its current location on Miramar Road in 2014 and expanded to include more games, a kitchen, mini bowling and four party rooms. Krongard says the customer service focus will not change.

“It’s all about the guest experience; we want our customers to have fun and build lasting memories. We greet and treat you like family.”

The center also has mini bowling, Connect 4 Basketball, and video, driving and pinball games.

Meetings and Events for Jewish Seniors Jewish War Veterans of San Diego, Post-185 Contact Jerome Klein at (858) 521-8694 March 10, 10 a.m.

Veterans Association of North County, Post-385 Contact Marsha Schjolberg (760) 492-7443 Jewish War Veterans meetings March 10, 11 a.m.

North County Jewish Seniors Club at the Oceanside Senior Center Contact Josephine at (760) 295-2564 March 17, 12:30 p.m.

JFS Balboa Ave. Older Adult Center Contact Aviva Saad (858) 550-5998 March 21, 10 a.m. Purim celebration with Megillah reading, games, lunch, dancing and entertainment. Cost is $27, RSVP requested.

On the Go Excursions Contact Jo Kessler (858) 637-7320 Mar. 24, 1 p.m., Transport yourself to Berlin in the 1930s, you are invited to leave your troubles and step into the Cabaret at Coronado Playhouse. The show is promised to be immersive and intimate. RSVP by Mar. 10, cost is $45.

Lawrence Family JCC Contact Melanie Rubin (858) 362-1141 March 27, 10 a.m. at the JCC’s Garfield Theatre “Lives Well Lived” film screening & discussion.

Free; RSVP by March 20.

Torah High School Celebrates 20th Anniversary With Celebration at Beth Israel Torah High School will be having its 20th Anniversary Celebration / Casino Night on Sunday evening, March 10 in the Social Hall of Beth Israel. It will be an evening of fun and friendship in support of Torah High and will include cocktails, dinner and entertainment. Please go to torahsandiego.com, call 858-558-6880 or email torahhs@yahoo. com to make reservations or to purchase raffle tickets.

Adar / Nisan 5779 SDJewishJournal.com 63

ADVICE

ASK MARNIE

by Marnie Macauley asksadie@aol.com

BAR MITZVAH BURNS halom, San Diegans: Who doesn’t love Simchas? There are few cultures that are as emotionally colorful as we Jews in good, in bad and in so-so times. We laugh when we’re miserable, cry when we’re happy and show it. Throughout our history, we’ve become experts at suffering. We have more words for “suffering” and “fools” than Alaskans have for snow. Who among us doesn’t need a “Simcha” break to “break up” our constant suffering? But even Simchas can involve suffering. Are you confused yet?

Let’s look.

DEAR MARNIE: My wife and I want your opinion. Last week we had a fantastic bar mitzvah for our only son. Most of our friends and associates are not Jewish, but there were a few Jewish relatives. So, the entire party was carefully orchestrated by my wife. The theme was show business, as she’s creative and loves to perform. She produced and directed a film about our son’s life for the party. She wore two theatrical gowns (changed during the festivities). We hired magicians, mimes and dance leaders, among others, for the children. All was timed. Everything was fine until my sister made a speech, toasting our son. We did not really want speeches, but gave in. My sister, who is seven years older, is a known publisher of Jewish children’s books and gives talks all over the country. We told her about the time problem. Yet, she went on, talking for almost 15 minutes about Judaism, as well as relating family anecdotes. Naturally, this caused a scheduling problem. I was livid!

64 SDJewishJournal.com | March 2019

We told her about the time problem. Yet, she went on, talking for almost 15 minutes about Judaism, as well as relating family anecdotes.

Naturally, this caused a scheduling problem.

I was livid!

During the weekend (we live in different cities), I told her how annoyed we were and how she showed no taste or manners.

I added that our relationship was further damaged. I felt she was selfish and self-absorbed! After all, we were the hosts! We would like to know your take on this. – Burned Bro, La Jolla MARNIE SAYS: My dear Burned Bro: You may wish to toss the chopped liver replica of your son in my face, but your baby sib-envy is showing. Your fault? Hers? Your parents’?

Who knows? But that babe is alive and notso-well in or between you. The giveaway?

Your extensive use of !’s. Your fury over an extra five minutes. Your implication of “fur-

ther” damage. Worse, between the mimes, the acrobats and the movies, you had a real “celeb” in your midst – and you missed it (and messed it up).

GETTING IT! YOUR PERSONAL STRATEGY: First, the particulars of your question re: a breach of “taste” and manners. Yes. There was a breach. (I’m still ducking). Yours. The “festivities” make the Liberace Museum look haimish. Then again, I may be loopy from O.D.ing on ice swans, photo montages from sonogram to soccer, birdcages descending with the bar mitzvah child, hacking my way through fake jungles and being entertained by a Tarzan flinging around like the Flying Wallendas. This is a bar mitzvah, a rite of passage, not the Cirque du Soleil. While you want your guests to have fun at the party, to nix a heartfelt touch of Judaism, especially when most of your guests weren’t Jewish, because the Sprockets were waiting in the wings tells me the affair was more about appearances than a rite of passage.

Know you’re duking it out over old sibling grievances and gripes. When “competition” rules, it becomes about “winning” or “losing.” The result is you both lose. Talk it out calmly. If need be, get a savvy counselor (assuming you can find one). Your values may differ, but if you let the best in each of you inform the other you will elevate your siblinghood to a loving duo. But more, you will elevate you when you act, not from childhood anger, but from genuine loving admiration.A

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“For Your Consideration” with Tifereth Israel

March 10, 2 p.m., 6660 Cowles Mountain Blvd., San Diego, CA 92119 As part of the TIS & Braun Library Film Series, “For Your Consideration” is a comedy following three actors who get award-season buzz. Visit tiferethisrael.com for more information.

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March 12, 9 a.m., 1910 Harris Mill Ave., Chula Vista, CA 91913 Torah and Tea is a women’s discussion group. Enjoy a lesson, camaraderie and hot tea. Visit jewishchulavista. com for more info.

Erev Purim Celebration at Beth Israel

March 20, 4:30 p.m., Beth Israel, 9001 Towne Centre Dr., San Diego, CA, 92122 Beth Israel is hosting an “Oscars” with Schloscars, preshow drinks (21+), a Megillah reading, a “family-friendly Purimshpiel” and a unique oneg to make a special Purim.

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Purim Carnival with Temple Solel

March 24, 11 a.m., 3575 Manchester Ave., Cardiff by the Sea A Purim carnival with food, rides and games. The carnival raises money for youth temple programs. Cost is $1.25/ ticket, or $40/wristband for unlimited access to most rides.

Visit templesolel.net for more information.

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Proudly Serving Jewish Families For Over 38 Years.

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Family Owned and Operated for Three Generations.

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Serving all Jewish Families, Orthodox, Conservative, Reform.

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Affiliated or Unaffiliated with a Synagogue.

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We can assist with At-need or Pre-need funeral planning. Purchasing cemetery plots or burial arrangements anywhere.

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We are here to help, call or email with any questions.

Michael S. Duffy, D.O.Medical Director 858-263-9700 At Pacific Bay Recovery, we specialize in compassionate treatment and personalized rehabilitation for individuals struggling from substance abuse disorders and/or chronic pain. With our assistance, you can take back your life!

(619) 583-8850

6316 El Cajon Blvd., San Diego For a list of currents services and additional info:

www.amisraelmortuary.com Members of the JFDA- Jewish funeral directors of America, KAVOD - (Independent/Family owned Jewish funeral directors) Consumer Affairs Funeral and Cemetery division

www.pacificbayrecovery.com

CA, Lic. #FD-1320

Ruth Weiss - San Diego losif Kravets - Poway Sadie Lantry - San Diego Leonard Milner - San Diego Rebecca Nejathaim - Vista Diane Gerson-Rymer - San Diego Marilyn Feldman - San Diego Max Landau - El Cajon Gertrude Benovitz - Skokie, IL Melvin Weiner - Poway Ilene Casper - San Diego Leonid Fasman - San Diego

Serving Southern California

1501 Fifth Ave., Ste. 201, San Diego, Ca. 92101

Lic # 370136AP.

May their memory be a blessing.

Pacific Bay Recovery_0417_.25.indd 1

Everett Biegeleisen - San Diego Charlotte Moskovitzs - San Diego Ann Young - Prescott, AZ Bette Zucker - San Diego Robert Fromm - San Diego Michael Sussman - San Diego Harold Hoffman - Oceanside Charlotte Weitz - San Diego Peter Friedenberg - Hasting on Hudson, NY Ruth Sax - Chula Vista Esther Ahronee - San Diego

On behalf of AM Israel Mortuary, We extend our condolences to the families of all those who have recently passed. The families of those listed above would like to inform the community of their passing.

5/24/17 8:53 A

AM ISRAEL MORTUARY We Are San Diego’s ONLY All-Jewish Mortuary Serving the community for over 40 years.

(619) 583-8850

Members of the JFDA- Jewish funeral directors of America, KAVOD - (Independent/Family owned Jewish funeral directors) Consumer Affairs Funeral and Cemetery division

6316 El Cajon Blvd., San Diego For a list of currents services and additional info:

www.amisraelmortuary.com CA, Lic. #FD-1320

Adar / Nisan 5779 SDJewishJournal.com 67

JEWISH COMMUNITY

EVENTS

Cantor Deborah Davis

Welcoming babies and families to San Diego’s Jewish Community

Custom Wedding Ceremonies

ARE YOU EXPECTING A BABY OR DO YOU KNOW SOMEONE WHO IS?

Let us work together to create a wedding ceremony that reflects the joy of your special day.

As Humanistic Jewish clergy I focus on each couple’s uniqueness and their love for each other. I welcome Jewish, interfaith and same-sex couples. I also perform all life-cycle ceremonies.

For further information please contact

Deborah Davis • 619.275.1539

Shalom Baby is an innovative program designed for San Diego families to celebrate the arrival of their Jewish newborns to affiliated, non-affiliated and inter-married families as a welcome to the San Diego Jewish Community.

To receive your Shalom BaBy BaSkeT and for informaTion conTacT: San Diego .............. Judy Nemzer • 858.362.1352 • shalombaby@lfjcc.org North County......... Vivien Dean • 858.357.7863 • shalombabyncounty@lfjcc.org www.lfjcc.org/shalombaby • www.facebook.com/shalombabypjlibrarysandiego Lawrence Family Jewish Community Center, JACOBS FAMILY CAMPUS, Mandell Weiss Eastgate City Park, 4126 Executive Drive, La Jolla, CA 92037-1348

www.deborahjdavis.com

JESSICA FINK JUDY NEMZER VIVIEN DEAN

The Joyous Music of Tradition and Transition.

Let the award-winning

l

Second Avenue Klezmer Ensemble

Direct Line: (858) 362-1352 E-mail: littlemensches@gmail.com

provide your wedding or Bar/Bat Mitzvah with lively, authentic music. Tradition has never been so much fun!

www.lfjcc.org/shalombaby/littlemensches l

Lawrence Family Jewish Community Center JACOBS FAMILY CAMPUS 4126 Executive Drive • La Jolla, CA 92037-1348

For information call Deborah Davis: 619-275-1539

To hear samples, visit our website: secondavenueklezmer.com

Fabrics for Fashion and Home

Visit our Giant Store & Warehouse 907 Plaza Blvd. • National City

619- 477- 3749

9 locations in SD County

Family Owned and Operated since 1953

It’s MORE than just a magazine.

IT’S A LIFESTYLE CALL Mark Edelstein 858.638.9818

marke@sdjewishjournal.com • www.sdjewishjournal.com

SINGLES

ARE YOU THE ONE FOR ME? ME: Young-at-heart, unpretentious, playful, educated, financially secure woman looking for LTR. I am trilingual, fascinated by other cultures and languages, love the arts: politically liberal. 69, 5’7”, trim and fit.

YOU: Financially secure, emotionally intelligent, good communicator, sense of humor, San Diego County resident, healthy lifestyle, 62 – 75. Brings out the best in me (and I in you). Give yourself a gift for 2019 and let’s connect! Tell me about yourself.

C/O BOX M, SAN DIEGO JEWISH JOURNAL, 5665 Oberlin Drive, Suite 204 • San Diego, CA 92121.

68 SDJewishJournal.com | March 2019

FINANCE

RESTAURANTS | CATERING

Serving Cuban-American Food Est. 1976

NOWNOW SERVING BREAKFAST, AND DINNER SERVING LUNCH LUNCH AND DINNER Open Daily: Daily: 811am am–10 pm Open - 10pm PALM SPRINGS (760) 325-2127

1596 N. Palm Canyon Drive • Palm Springs, CA 92262

KORNFELD AND LEVY

HEALTH

Certified Public Accountants

Rafael James Psychotherapist

2067 First Ave., San Diego, CA 92101

Bringing Sensitivity to the Mental Health Needs of the Jewish Community

Bankers Hill

p: 619.563.8000 f: 619.704.0206

Depression Anxiety Couples Therapy

gkornfeld@kornfeldandlevy.com

Gary Kornfeld Certified Public Accountant Call for a free consultation

REAL ESTATE

Family Therapy Older Adult Issues Eating Disorders

8400 Miramar Road, Suite 200 San Diego, CA 92126 858 282 6117 rafaeljames@thepowerofpeace.com www.rafaeljames.com LCSW #70535

Coldwell Banker Royal Realty

Raul Ontiveros REALTOR Bre: 01498610

861 Anchorage Place Chula Vista, CA 91914

619 981 4704

raulontiveros68@gmail.com www.coldwellbankerroyalrealty.com

ADVERTISING/GRAPHICS

derek berghaus advertising C 858-598-7304 w www.dbdesign.com @ derek.berghaus@yahoo.com | print | digital | social media |

Adar / Nisan 5779 SDJewishJournal.com 69

70 SDJewishJournal.com | March 2019

seduce CARMEN

March 30–April 7, 2019

struggle THREE DECEMBERS

astonish March 8–10, 2019

ONE AMAZING NIGHT May 15, 2019

sdopera.org/SDJJ | (619) 533-7000 Financial support is provided by the City of San Diego.

PHOTO: JULIETA CERVANTES

Love is a gypsy child

TICKETS ON SALE NOW