San Diego Jewish Journal Sept. 2015 by San Diego Jewish Journal

SEPTEMBER 2015 l ELUL 5775 â&#x20AC;˘ TISHREI 5776

L'SHANA TOVA

HIGH HOLIDAYS

Bees, honey and a new way to look at the creation story. Plus our annual list of services around town and so much more.

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CONTENTS September 2015 Elul 5775/Tishrei 5776

HIGH HOLIDAYS: The most comprehensive list of High Holiday services from South Bay to Temecula.

HIGH HOLIDAYS: As you dip your apples into honey and toast to a “sweet new year” keep the bees in mind - they could use the help.

FEATURE: Shabbat San Diego returns in early October and there are many ways you can get involved. Huge challah bake anyone?

TRAVEL: Heading north in the Czech Republic, Judith Fein uncovers more buried Jewish history in Boskovice, Austerlitz and Mikulov.

8 SDJewishJournal.com l September 2015

Income Generation in Retirement Our conversation on retirement income can help you move from “Can I retire?” to “How can I make the most of my retirement?”

ALSO IN THIS ISSUE: 32 ISRAEL:

One High Tech High alum hopes to bridge cultural gaps with blog modeled after “Humans of New York.”

59 HIGH HOLIDAYS:

A brief history of challah and where to find the bread around town.

62 HIGH HOLIDAYS:

The Reform movement is welcoming a new, “more inclusive” service this year.

64 HIGH HOLIDAYS:

The difference between forgiveness and acceptance.

73 EDUCATION:

The Jacobs International Teen Leadership Institute takes the long view with Israel program.

76 THEATER:

Meet Jacob Gardenswartz, the 19-year-old who will have you asking yourself, “what have I accomplished lately?”

81 FOOD:

Celebrate Sukkot with these stuffed grape leaves.

88 BUSINESS:

What is a life coach anyway?

Monthly Columns 12 The Starting Line 22 Parenting 24 Israeli Lifestyle 26 Dating 28 Aging 30 Spirituality 101 Advice

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Around Town 18 Our Town 20 The Scene 94 Events In Every Issue 14 Mailbag 16 What’s Up Online 85 What’s Goin’ On 90 News 93 Diversions 97 Shabbat Sheet

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www.sdjewishjournal.com September 2015 • Elul 5775/Tishrei 5776 PUBLISHERS • Mark Edelstein and Dr. Mark Moss On Behalf Of The California Legislative Jewish Caucus,

L’ Shana Tovah! Wishing You A Peaceful, Productive And Prosperous New Year.

Senator Marty Block Chair

DIVORCE-FAMILY LAW Compassionate Yet aggresive FamilY law experts

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF • Natalie Jacobs ART DIRECTOR • Derek Berghaus ASSISTANT EDITOR • Tina B. Eshel ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR • Eileen Sondak ADVERTISING & OFFICE MANAGER • Ronnie Weisberg INTERN • Jackie Cohen CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Tori Avey, Betsy Baranov, Linda Bennett, Abby Walker, David Ebenbach, Judith Fein (Senior Travel Correspondent), Michael Fox, Jennifer Garstang, Amanda Kelly, Brie Stimson, Pat Launer, Curt Leviant, Sharon Rosen Leib, Andrea Simantov, Jon Schwartz, Dave Good, Marnie McCauley ADVERTISING REPRESENTATIVES Nancy Segal (Account Executive), Alan Moss (Palm Springs) SAN DIEGO JEWISH JOURNAL (858) 638-9818 • fax: (858) 638-9801 5665 Oberlin Drive, Suite 204 • San Diego, CA 92121

• Divorce • Child Custody • Mediation • EDITORIAL: editor@sdjewishjournal.com ADVERTISING: sales@sdjewishjournal.com Spousal Support • Child “Hire Them Support • CollaboraCIRCULATION & SUBSCRIPTIONS: publisher@sdjewishjournal.com Before •Your SpousePartnership Does” tive Practice Domestic • Dis- ART DEPARTMENT: art@sdjewishjournal.com LISTINGS & CALENDAR: calendar@sdjewishjournal.com solution • Divorce • Child Custody • MeSDJJ is published monthly by San Diego Jewish Journal, LLC. Subscription rate is $24 for one year • Divorce • Child Custody • diation • Mediation Spousal Support • Child Support •subscription requests to SDJJ, 5665 Oberlin Drive, Suite 204, San Diego, CA (12 issues). Send • Spousal Support • 92121. The San Diego Jewish Journal is a free and open forum for the expression of opinions. The opinions expressed herein are solely the opinion of the author and in no way reflect the opinions Child Support • Collaborative Practice • Collaborative Practice • Domestic Partnership of the publishers, staff or advertisers. The San Diego Jewish Journal is not responsible for the Domestic Partnership • Dissolution accuracy of any and all information within advertisements. The San Diego Jewish Journal reserves • Dissolution • Divorce • Child Custody the right to• edit all submitted materials, including press releases, letters to the editor, articles and calendar listings for brevity and clarity. The Journal is not legally responsible for the accuracy of calendar or directory listings, nor is it responsible for possible postponements, cancellations or Mediation • Spousal Support • Child Support changes in venue. Manuscripts, letters, documents and photographs sent to the Journal become the physical property of the publication, which is not responsible for the return or loss of such material. All contents ©2015 by San Diego Jewish Journal. The San Diego Jewish Journal is a member of the American Jewish Press Association and the Jewish Telegraphic Agency.

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Elul 5775 • Tishrei 5776 l SDJewishJournal.com 11

THE STARTING LINE by Natalie Jacobs

EDITOR’S LETTER editor@sdjewishjournal.com

The September Issue

or national fashion magazines, September is the biggest issue of the year. It’s when the fall runway looks are unveiled and all the major houses – Prada, Gucci, Versace, Yves Saint Laurent, Marc Jacobs, etc. – debut fresh and extravagant advertisements that take up at least the first 100 pages of each book (and most of the pages after that). In the documentary “The September Issue,” cameras followed Vogue editor-in-chief and noted ice queen Anna Wintour as she put together the 2007, 840-page magazine (of which 727 were ad pages). Planning started pretty much as soon as the previous September issue wrapped. Photo shoots in Paris were conceptualized by Wintour’s creative director and longest-lasting employee, Grace Coddington, six months in advance. Wintour sat expressionless wearing black-lens sunglasses at fashion shows from New York to Milan. When the print deadline grew nearer, Wintour cut, cropped, ordered more Photoshopping and scrutinized everything – especially the cover – down to the last pixel (she used a magnifying glass to examine the faint differences in the facial expressions of actress Sienna Miller). Everything had to be perfect, according to Wintour’s exceptionally high standards. September is also the largest issue of the year for us at the Journal, but obviously for very different reasons. We get started four months in advance by emailing all the synagogues in the region to inquire about their schedule of High Holiday services. It’s not quite a photo shoot at the Champs Elysees, but it’s important work nonetheless. Shortly after that, we began conversations about what stories to cover and how to give the High Holidays’ themes of repentance, renewal, atonement, and forgiveness a fresh perspective. By July, we were knee-deep 12 SDJewishJournal.com l September 2015

in the writing process and come August it was nearly a wrap. I have yet to invest in a magnifying glass and we don’t typically have to worry about Photoshopping any unwanted curves out of the cover, but working on something so large – both physically and intellectually – couldn’t help but become all-consuming. The interesting thing is, instead of making me think my jeans are uncool or my blouse is the wrong color for the season, working on our September issue gave me four months to ponder big questions like “Am I being my best, most authentic self?” and “What can I do to make things a little bit better for the world next year?” In our coverage this year, we cast a wide net. There’s the usual listing of services at synagogues of every stripe. Then, we examine the themes of this season from what we think are very new angles. First, there’s the cover story and the idea that bees are an important part of creation (and I’ll admit, I did go a little “Anna Wintour” on the cover, but I think it was worth it). I hope the article will give you something to think about this time of year, and all the time, as our modern human life threatens their simple and oh-soimportant bee life. Then there’s assistant editor Tina B. Eshel’s history of challah which is all too easy to forget in the hustle and bustle of Friday afternoon. The Reform movement will introduce a new prayer book into services this year and contributing writer Brie Stimson spoke with Reform rabbis in San Diego and Newport Beach to get a sense of how they and their congregations are feeling about this new direction. Rounding out the High Holidays section is a personal essay by Tina about her journey to embrace forgiveness and acceptance, with help from a local rabbi who provides some religious context for the things that have been on her mind of late. No September issue is complete without a

Instead of making me think my jeans are uncool or my blouse is the wrong color for the season, working on our September issue gave me four months to ponder big questions like “Am I being my best, most authentic self?” and “What can I do to make things a little bit better for the world next year?” bunch of extra good stuff thrown in. To that end, you will find part two of Judie Fein’s travels in Jewish corners of the Czech Republic. You will also meet a 19-year-old who has already made a huge impact on the world. Plus, there’s a Sukkot recipe from Tori Avey that will leave your mouth watering. And much more. I know September is not only a big issue for us but an extremely busy time in your lives. I hope you find a few peaceful moments to spend with our stories this month, and maybe a few more quiet minutes for an ice cold beverage or some other divine indulgence. You deserve it! From our hearts to yours, have a happy, healthy and prosperous new year. L’Shana Tova! A

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we’re listening let us know what’s on your mind WINNER, WINNER Dear Editor: Thank you and the SD Jewish Journal for the tickets to see “Borrowed Identity.” It was very well done and so thought provoking. It came highly recommended by friends on the Jewish Film Festival committee, and it didn’t disappoint! Jane Zeer San Diego

HEY GOOD LOOKIN’

Send us your comments: editor@sdjewishjournal.com 5665 Oberlin Dr., Ste 204 San Diego, CA 92121

Dear Editor: This “fan letter” is a little late in coming for the previous issue [July, 2015]. I have noticed and was delighted with the “new” format you have for your photo displays. I read every issue from cover to cover, since your first publication. I thought it was about time to let you know that I am very aware when things change or are added and certainly when it is deemed necessary. So, not to ramble on further, thank you for making it easy to see the wonderful photos in your great San Diego Jewish Journal. Flora Kruitsky San Diego

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what’s up on sdjewishjournal.com ORTHODOX PRIDE

A young zionist found herself in the middle of an uprising in the heart of the Old City. She writes that it was a rare occasion when she felt embarrassed to be a religious Jew.

LIFE AT TEREZIN

WHAT’S FOR DINNER?

Researchers have uncovered the last signs of life on the grounds of the Terezin concentration camp. Seventy year-old inscriptions documented.

Try this pomegranate and honey glazed chicken for your holiday menu or anytime you’re feeling up for a challenge in the kitchen. Facebook “f ” Logo

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Hear about all our web exclusives first: Like us on Facebook.com/ sandiegojewishjournal and follow us on Twitter @sdjewishjournal.

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IRAN DEAL

Congress votes on the Iran Nuclear Deal on Sept. 17. We’ll bring you coverage as soon as possible. Stay tuned!

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The Diller Teen Tikkun Olam Awards are funded by the Helen Diller Family Foundation, a supporting foundation of the Jewish Community Federation and Endowment Fund

Elul 5775 • Tishrei 5776 l SDJewishJournal.com 17

our

TOWN BY NATALIE JACOBS, LINDA BENNETT AND BETSY BARANOV l PHOTOS BY ERIKA THORNES PHOTOGRAPHY

La Jolla Music Society Gala

On what felt like the hottest day of the year, 200 of San Diego’s most noted philanthropists and music afficionados gathered at the La Jolla residence of Joan and Irwin Jacobs for the La Jolla Music Society’s “Echoes Across a Continent” SummerFest Gala. With an expansive view of the sun setting on the Pacific Ocean, cocktails and champaign helped to keep the schvitzing to a minimum as guests congregated on the marble deck. After the cocktail hour, which included passed horsd’oeuvres of potato pancakes topped with caviar and foie gras-filled perogis by Pampelmousse Grille, guests were invited into the concert hall for a private chamber music concert featuring SummerFest artists who performed works by Tchaikovsky, Glière, Rachmaninoff, Shostakovich and others. Artists then joined the distinguished guests for a four-course meal around the pool. Proceeds from the gala benefit La Jolla Music Society’s education, outreach and artistic programs. Among the guests were fashion designer Zandra Rhodes, Conrad Prebys and Debbie Turner, Elaine Galinson, Herbert Solomon, Matthew and Iris Strauss, Peter and Peggy Preuss, Nomi Feldman, and Sheryl and Harvey White.

Anniversaries...

Happy 50th anniversary to Paul and Suzanne Schulman! Happy 50th anniversary to Sandy and Barbara Rosenthal! Happy 65th anniversary to Jan and Doug Selig!

Mazel tov...

Leah Rieger, granddaughter of Ellen Barnett, made aliyah two years ago. On June 10 of this year, she married the Israeli man of her dreams.

Clockwise from the top: Hosts Joan and Irwin Jacobs • Peter Preuss, Peggy Cravens, Peggy Preuss (Gala Chair) • Stacy and Don Rosenberg • Stephen Pfeiffer and Phyllis Pfeiffer.

18 SDJewishJournal.com l September 2015

SEACREST VILLAGE RETIREMENT COMMUNITIES at Enc i n i tas a n d R a n c h o Ber n a r d o

Chag Sameach

Seacrest Village wishes you a happy and healthy New Year! seacrestvillage.org

the SCENE

BY EILEEN SONDAK l NSONDAK@GMAIL.COM PHOTOS BY DEREK BERGHAUS

Old Globe Gala

The annual Old Globe Gala welcomed more than 300 VIP guests to the theater’s Copley Plaza earlier this summer. After the cocktail hour, the black-tie and sparkling crowd moved indoors to the Main Stage for a very special cabaret performance featuring Carmen Cusack (of “Bright Star”). That was followed by a lavish sit-down dinner and dancing back outside under the stars, to the music of the Cab Calloway orchestra. All proceeds from the gala were earmarked to benefit the Old Globe’s educational and artistic programming. Among the huge group of supporters were Barbara Bloom, Karen and Don Cohn, artistic director Barry Edelstein and his wife Hilit, Bob and Bea Epsten, Illana Friedman, Hannah and Mark Gleiberman, Frank and Lee Goldberg, Sheila and Jeff Lipinsky, Howard and Barbara Milstein, Lori and Phil Price, Doreen and Myron Schonbrun, co-chair Vicki Zeiger, and Emma and Leo Zuckerman.

Jerusalem Zoo Luncheon

The San Diego Friends of the Tisch Family Zoological Gardens in Jerusalem welcomed teenage volunteers from Israel to San Diego with a luncheon at the San Diego Zoo’s Treetops Room last month. The luncheon event, in memory of philanthropist Elaine Hirsch, was underwritten by the Arthur Rivkins and the Elliot Fuersteins. Congresswoman Susan Davis was on hand to pass out certificates to the participants and thank the large group of donors.

Clockwise from the top: Jean and Gary Shekhter • Gala Co-Chairs flanked by Globe Artistic and Managing Directors • Sheryl White, Iris Strauss, Hilit Edelstein, Karen Cohn • Teenage volunteers from the Jerusalem Zoo • Sandra Schoenkopf, Charlotte Rand, Todd Bloom.

20 SDJewishJournal.com l September 2015

She would risk it all…to save Israel!

G LDA’S BALCONY (A Play by William Gibson)

Exclusive Engagement at San Diego and Palm Desert Synagogues Broadway’s longest running one-woman show

Starring the incredible FRANCINE! This is the compelling Tony-nominated edge-ofyour-seat Broadway play about the life of Golda Meir, from impoverished Russian school girl to Prime Minister of Israel. The New York Daily News called it “RIVETING;” the New York Times called it “POWERFUL!” and Elie Weisel said “EVERYONE SHOULD SEE GOLDA’S BALCONY!”

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PARENTING srleib@roadrunner.com

Note to Congress re: The Iran Nuclear Deal

y Dear Congress: As you consider the merits of the pending Iran Nuclear Deal, I urge you to think like the parents of teenagers. I realize that many of you now have adult children and enjoy the amnesiac benefits of teen-free existence in Washington, D.C. And those of you with young children might naïvely believe your little angels will never grow into wily teens. To the childless amongst you who’ve never experienced the joys of parenthood, I say buckle up. We’re about to get real!! As you know, a major component of the proposed deal relates to inspections of nuclear sites – to verify that no nuclear warheads capable of destroying our beloved children are in development. Sounds like a great plan, Congress! But please put your reading glasses on to examine the not-so-fine print. 1.) No surprise inspections allowed: The proposal outlines a Byzantine process whereby any International Atomic Energy Agency (IAEA) request to investigate must reveal the “basis for concern” and gives Iran 24 days (plus) (pending approval) to prepare for inspection. What were these negotiators smoking? Hopefully not any of the weed stashed in our kids’ college dorm rooms. Our darlings used good parental spending money to buy that stuff! But I digress. Esteemed Congresspeople, every sentient parent knows that if you give teens grounds for inspection pending a 24-day approval period that cobalt-blue, 1.75 liter SKYY Vodka bottle will disappear before you can say Halloween party – transported to a friend’s house within 2.4 minutes. Given 24 days, teens are capable of flying to Italy, staging a hostile takeover of Gruppo Campari and owning SKYY Vodka and Wild Turkey Whiskey too. Iranian nuclear scientists may be smarter than even our most gifted teens, and thus capable 22 SDJewishJournal.com l September 2015

of stashing their weapons-grade plutonium in 24 hours. Don’t “anytime, anywhere” or at least “most of the time, most places” inspections sound like a more realistic way to go? 2.) “Managed Access” only: Instead of providing international inspectors unfettered access to suspect sites, the deal relies on “managed” inspections. Managed access means IAEA inspectors are only permitted limited and supervised visits to investigate potential nuclear no-nos. Dearest legislators, if we were 16 again, we’d so be laughing up our sleeves at this clause. “You mean I only have to show Mom the parts of my room I want to show her and I get to be there the whole time she’s looking? What a total score!” As the neutered parents, we’d be reduced to the absurdity of searching all the usual hiding spots (bending down under the bed and plucking the depths of dirty laundry) while the bottle of Cuervo Gold tequila and plastic shot glasses lie safely behind toilet paper roles in the bathroom cabinet. Congresspeople, I beseech you to spare the IAEA inspectors the humiliation of participating in this type of charade. 3.) Handpicked inspectors: The deal allows Iran to veto the participation of any inspector (read: Americans). The negotiators have devised the equivalent of letting the SAE frat president select a Sigma Nu frat-dude compatriot to inspect his fraternity house for banned beer kegs (as if?!?) rather than the college dean who enforces Intrafraternity Council regulations. Hello, people! While we sympathize with Iran’s desire to preserve its dignity as a sovereign nation, we must acknowledge the country has sponsored terrorists. So I urge you (as we do with our teens) to trust but verify – and verify hard. What’s more important: Iran’s self-image or our kids’ future? Ultimately, as our teens would say, no deal is better than a bogus one. A

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Elul 5775 • Tishrei 5776 l SDJewishJournal.com 23

LIVING ON THE FRONT PAGE by Andrea Simantov

ISRAELI LIFESTYLE andreasimantov@gmail.com

The Lies We Tell Ourselves All of the reflection this month has me thinking: Most of us have probably told a white lie or two in our lifetimes. However, when the lines between truth and fiction become blurred and patently false personal narratives are proffered as fact, trouble follows. My favorite advertising campaign for a pharmaceutical product features a white-jacketed soap opera star who peers deeply into the lens and states, “I’m not a real doctor but I play one on tv.” The ability to access school and police records via the Internet has made it nearly impossible to fudge academic credentials that were not earned. So why do people continue to stretch the truth? I know a woman who shows her 30-year-old wedding album to every guest who crosses the threshold. She loves to describe finding that perfect gown and Jackie-Kennedy veiled pillbox hat. Giggling like a young girl, she admits that she was half the size she is today. Her friends clear their throats and offer half-commiserating murmurs which fill the deadly silence, attempting to stifle the awkward facts: her husband ran off with another woman four years after the wedding and never looked back. Still, she shares the album like a southern belle reliving the grand balls and fox hunts of her youth. Shades of Miss Havisham. Another acquaintance had a cameo role in a 1980 young-hoods-in-Brooklyn type film. His closest brush with fame was followed by a few 24 SDJewishJournal.com l September 2015

more years of auditions and waitering jobs that ultimately resulted in teaching high school English and working weekends in a garage. Still, he keeps his living room walls plastered with resume shots and posters from “Raging Bull,” “Goodfellas” and “The Pope of Greenwich Village.” Conversations often veer toward his once-close friendships with Paddy Chayefsky and Billie Friedkin. Maybe there’s something deeper happening beneath these white lies and inflated memories. In keeping with the theme of introspection, I began exploring my own skeletons in the metaphorical closet. But then I opened my actual closet and saw jigsaw puzzles, wooden blocks and Lego sets, vintage Barbie dolls, water paint, modeling clay and boxes of colored chalk and crayons. A plastic crate filled with such classics as “Corduroy,” “Good Night Moon,” “The Very Hungry Caterpillar” and “Ira Sleeps Over” sits atop a wicker basket filled with old wigs, ball-gowns, costume jewelry, Easter bonnets and stiletto heels; dress-up items suited for every imagination. It is the closet of a hands-on Grandma. Except that my grandchildren aren’t near enough for lazy afternoons of baking or makebelieve. So am I fooling myself with all of this memorabilia, just like the lady with her wedding album and the man with his acting memories? When lucky, I see my grandkids once a year on their turf in South Africa. The rare times

they visit Israel are when my ex brings them for a family simcha on his side. And because the relationship between us is strained, I typically only manage to squeeze in an hour or two in the local mall with my beloved babies. They came again this summer and I remained “on call” for an awkward ice-cream parlor outing or quick rendezvous in the neighborhood playground but, instead, my son-in-law called to tell me they were coming for Shabbos. Was I dreaming? Cooking, baking, laying out mattresses and reading books aloud to toddlers; my heart was so filled with excitement that I feared it might burst. It occurs to me that I hold onto these things, even if they suggest a certain air of falsity, to keep connected to the truth that I am, in fact, a grandma, and no amount of geography can really change that. Awash with thankfulness from their ever-sobrief visit, after Havdalah I kissed the children goodbye and joyfully picked up blocks, washed dishes, stripped beds. Only a little weepy, I marveled at how G-d slips perfect moments between the messy folds of life. The noise and disorder that is part of the package called “family” is a reward to be cherished and embraced with humility, resulting in appreciation for all we have. A

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Elul 5775 • Tishrei 5776 l SDJewishJournal.com 25

PLAYING WITH MATCHES by Jennifer Garstang

DATING jenscy@gmail.com

Reflecting on Romantic Worldviews

“M

en are dogs.” That was the answer a friend (I use the term “friend” here loosely) gave me when I suggested he try working on his relationship with his girlfriend, rather than dropping not-so-subtle hints that he’d like to start “something on the side” with me. Not only did that conversation start me on a long list of ways my “friend” differs from a canine (dogs have tails, can’t sweat, are known for their loyalty, etc.), but it also got me thinking about how much our worldviews impact our romantic lives. Indeed, the way we look at the world is arguably the single biggest factor in our success (or failure) at dating and relationships. It defines how we think about the people we care about, how we view ourselves as partners, and even what we consider a successful relationship. So it follows that reflecting on our worldview would be very helpful when it comes to achieving our romantic goals…and what better time to reflect than Rosh Hashanah? But what, exactly, is a worldview? We often think of it as our opinions, but it goes beyond that to include the deeper assumptions that lead to our opinions and these are not easily examined. Many of our assumptions are so ingrained in our psyche we don’t even notice they’re there. My fershtinker of a friend, for instance, knows with complete certainty that men are dogs, destined to cheat on their significant others. To him, that isn’t just an opinion, but an unchangeable fact. Worldviews also tend to be self-reinforcing. Our brains are great at noticing evidence that supports our assumptions, and equally good at ignoring contradictions. When I disagreed with the notion that all men are dogs, my “friend” automatically assumed I was a charmingly naïve girl. He was shocked to learn that I’m actually seven years older than he is, with much more experience in relationships…a revelation which he has since forgotten and been shocked to learn three more times in a matter of months. So how can you tell if your worldview is interfering with your love-life? Well, start by looking for patterns in areas that aren’t going well for you. For instance, if you find yourself perpetually dating fershtinkers, that’s a strong 26 SDJewishJournal.com l September 2015

When we think in absolutes, our brains will work to reinforce our absolute conclusions. This means that, if you don’t think good guys exist (and I assure you, they do), then you’re more likely to overlook any good guys that come your way. sign that your worldview is getting in your way. The next step is to reflect on how you think about those situations, keeping an eye out for absolutes. Phrases like “men always cheat,” “women only date jerks,” “I’m not good enough” mean you’re looking at the situation through a specific and harmful worldview. Now, changing your worldview isn’t simple, but by noticing where bias creeps into your thinking, you can start swapping in less absolute thoughts. Instead of “men are fershtinkers,” for instance, you can catch yourself and think “boy, I have dated quite a few fershtinkers!” Getting away from the absolute conclusion moves you away from a self-reinforcing worldview. When we think in absolutes, our brains will work to reinforce our absolute conclusions. This means that, if you don’t think good guys exist (and I assure you, they do), then you’re more likely to overlook any good guys that come your way. So, this Tashlich, when you stand by the water throwing your sins to the eagerly-waiting ducks, I challenge you to also reflect on all those assumptions you view as unquestionable truths. Find those deeply ingrained ideas that hold you back, and cast them away, to begin creating new more positive outlooks in the new year. A

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OLDER, WISER, BETTER by Jon Schwartz

AGING jonaschwartz@hotmail.com

Is Aging in Place Right for Everyone?

fully admit that I can be a sucker for the latest trends. In the past decade, we have seen quite a few: organic/local/ non-GMO/gluten-free food; consumer technology; “green” environmentalism. I even fall for these trends in the geriatrics category. Enter: aging in place. The Center for Disease Control and Prevention defines aging in place as “the ability to live in one’s own home and community safely, independently and comfortably, regardless of age, income or ability level.” My passion for this lifestyle choice started when I watched my grandparents age, fall ill, and then eventually pass away, all while staying in their respective homes. To do this, they brought caregivers and eventually hospice into their home when the time became necessary. Recently, AARP published a study that found 90 percent of people aged 65 and older wish to age in place. Validated, I went on a crusade to convince everyone I know that this is the best option, for everyone. To my grandparents’ credit, they did plan well and downsized to a small one-story home in their mid-60s. Plus each set of grandparents had three and four children and they were lucky enough to live close to all of them. (The children, in turn, were happy to help schedule appointments, go grocery shopping, provide transportation, manage life’s administrative duties and be constantly available for love and entertainment.) To top it off, all four of my grandparents fell ill and passed away in close proximity to their spouses, so neither was left to fend for him or herself too long. I never stopped to think that their experience was actually quite rare. And when I came to that understanding, I realized it was irresponsible of me to promote aging in place as a unilateral best option for everyone. 28 SDJewishJournal.com l September 2015

Today, most older adults I come across have lost their spouses years ago. Kids and family members increasingly live in other states or countries. Many friends and loved ones have also passed away, thus leaving the individual lonely. When driving is no longer an option, isolation becomes more concrete. Futher complicating matters, individuals living in a big house presents mobility and safety challenges. In this scenario, aging in place leaves an older adult alone to become prisoner to her own home. So is there a “best” situation for everyone? I believe the solution is three-fold and we will begin to see new trends which will provide a spectrum of options in the very near future. First, my hope is that more people become open to moving to retirement communities before they think they need to, rather than staying at home. Good retirement communities provide people with a sense of community, care, support and stimulation that is desperately needed to age successfully. Second, I hope and believe that we will start to see better retirement communities pop up. I foresee more communities basing their programs and even building residences based off specific people’s interests. For example, there will be a community that admits seniors who have a special interest in the arts. Or a community that is intended for former teachers, athletes or actors to live in. Lastly, we will see a trend toward more people able to age more safely and comfortably in their own home, if they so choose. Google will launch the driverless car, telemedicine will advance and perhaps robots could provide medical care. Homes will become smarter and easier to live in. The aging in place trend is here to stay, but as with all trends, we need to be aware that they’re not right for everyone. A

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San Diego • Tel Aviv Elul 5775 • Tishrei 5776 l SDJewishJournal.com 29

THE ARTIST’S TORAH by David Ebenbach

SPIRITUALITY ebenbach@netzero.com

The Open Future

new year means many things, but, above all, it means surprises. We just don’t know what the year will bring. We see this reflected in the high-stakes liturgy of the High Holy Days, which asks, Who will live and who will die? We can’t say; the big (and little) things of the future – personal, professional, spiritual – are unknown to us. This month’s Torah portions show the Israelites in a similar position, standing on the cusp of a new land and future themselves. They have reached the promised land but have not yet entered, and the Book of Deuteronomy is essentially a long pause that allows Moses (who does not get to enter the land) to give the people final instructions, promises, warnings, and wisdom. These Torah portions and the High Holidays liturgy both include, as you can imagine, teachings about what we can do with the unknown. First, we see that Judaism has a long tradition of reflection and self-awareness. Throughout Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur we are meant to study ourselves courageously and thoroughly; in Deuteronomy, the Israelites are instructed to consider and speak aloud their own history, including (in 26:4) the miracle of having been liberated from Egypt. Of course, it’s always possible to overthink things, but Judaism takes that chance and errs on the side of looking back before moving forward. This reflection is more than a mental exercise; it’s a lesson in how the past continues and how it doesn’t. On the one hand, we are reminded here that we are products of our histories. We carry forward what we’ve carried thus far. But this self-awareness is also supposed to produce change, specifically in the form of renewed or deepened moral obligation. Self-study throughout the High Holidays should help us commit to better behavior in the year to come, and the repeat of the Exodus story – a reminder 30 SDJewishJournal.com l September 2015

These Torah portions and the High Holidays liturgy both include, as you can imagine, teachings about what we can do with the unknown. of what G-d did for the Israelites – is intended to inspire gratefully moral and sacred acts. In our lives more broadly, an awareness of our past successes and failures should help us be, in new situations, still better than we have been. But there is an even more important lesson here: As scary as it may sometimes be, the unknown is actually a gift. It’s not an optional gift – life is unpredictable, and change happens – but it’s still one worth appreciating. In the Torah, G-d is a big fan of new directions, telling Abraham to leave his home country, making Moses give up his comfortable life with the Midianites, herding a sometimes reluctant people out of Egypt and into the promised land, and so on. In each case the restart is about pursuing new meaning, new connection, new purpose. By implication, a person who shies away from the unfamiliar and undiscovered is destined to live a small life, whereas the person who faces it is bound to grow. As you move into the new year – a gift of continuing life and the opportunity to live it better – may you be gratefully open to change and may change help you to open. A

 This

month’s Torah portions

Sept. 5: Ki Tavo (Deuteronomy 26:1-29:8) Sept. 12: Nitzavim (Deuteronomy 29:9-30:20) Sept. 19: Vayelech (Deuteronomy 31:1-31:30) Sept. 26: Ha’azinu (Deuteronomy 32:1-32:52)

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Elul 5775 • Tishrei 5776 l SDJewishJournal.com 31

ISRAEL

Politics Aside

San Diego teen blogs to connect Jews and Arabs, on a personal level BY JACKIE COHEN

year ago, Max Greene spent a month in Israel as part of his Bronfman Youth Fellowship. For some of the trip, Greene stayed with an Israeli family who had a son his age. The two got to talking and Greene quickly realized that the Israeli boy didn’t have any Arab friends. “I found that a lot of Israelis, especially in Jerusalem and other parts of Israel, have limited interactions with Arabs and only sort of see Palestinians and Palestinian citizens of Israel the way they are portrayed in the media, which tends to be related to war,” Greene says as we’re talking at a Starbucks in Pacific Beach. Moved by that realization, Greene decided to take matters into his own hands once he returned to San Diego. In true Millennial fashion, he started a blog which he named Semites of San Diego. He says he followed the model of Humans of New York, a popular blog that takes a street-style approach to photography and pairs it with a poignant quote about any manner of personal things. “I wanted to create a website that kind of linked Jews and Arabs and other groups in San Diego so that hopefully some of that atmosphere of coexistence will flow over into Israel,” Greene says. In addition to the lofty goal to create mutual understanding between disparate groups here and abroad, Semites of San Diego is Greene’s ma’aseh, or action project, which is a requirement for the Bronfman Youth Fellowship. Greene runs the blog on his own for the most part although he has an advisor named Julie Geller who he “bounces ideas off of.” Geller is a Denver-based musician and an alum from the Bronfman Youth Fellowship who was assigned to Greene as a mentor. Greene says that while running Semites of San Diego isn’t too much work because he is able to set his own hours, the biggest struggle is getting people to make submissions. “It’s been a bit slow at first,” Greene confesses. As of early August, there were only five blog posts and all of them were from Jewish people in San Diego. Since Greene is Jewish, he finds it easier to get 32 SDJewishJournal.com l September 2015

Jewish contributors, whether they are from his synagogue (Congregation Dor Hadash) or from his Jewish friends. He has also posted on Facebook to promote his blog in hopes of getting people to contribute. Semites of San Diego has also been mentioned in his synagogue’s newsletter. Reaching Middle Eastern communities has been harder for Greene. He has emailed a Maronite Church and a Palestinian news website, among others, with little success. “Some of them answer my email saying that they like my idea and that they would contribute,” Greene says, but they have yet to do so. Greene also mentions that he has a few Palestinian friends who say they will submit a post, so he is hopeful for that. His next step toward expanding the blog will be his most ambitious. He’ll attend an event at Dor Hadash with his camera. His idea is to follow the Humans of New York model and ask people pointed questions about culture and community. Although his numbers remain low, running Semites of San Diego has been a meaningful experience for Greene. “So far I’ve really loved reading people’s submissions and seeing how they look at being Jewish and how they reflect on their identity in ways that I might not have thought of before.” Greene graduated from High Tech High this past year and will be attending Yale University in New Haven, Conn. He plans to continue the blog from college. “It will be a bit difficult because I won’t be in San Diego for college, but I do still plan to have some sort of connection to the city and still plan to continue the website as best I can,” Greene says. The matter of coexistence is very important to Greene and he hopes his blog can make a bond between two interconnected groups and maybe even create some mutual understanding. “I just want to emphasize that it is possible to have media through which Jews and Arabs can interact in an apolitical way and in a purely cultural and human way.” A Visit the Semites of San Diego blog at semitesofsd.weebly.com.

Semites of San Diego

If you’d like to participate in the blog, submit your responses to any of the following questions to semitesofsd@gmail.com. • How do you participate in your (Arab, Chaldean, Jewish, etc.) community? What does your community mean to you? • Which aspect of your culture (music, a specific food, a spiritual-moral value, etc.) do you appreciate the most? • Why are you proud to be ______ (Arab, Chaldean, Jewish, etc.)? • What do you want others to know about how you experience your community?

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EXPIRES 10/30/2015

34 SDJewishJournal.com l September 2015

EXPIRES 10/30/2015

5776 High Holidays Schedule of services and stories to consider for the year ahead.

Illustration By Pepe Fainberg

Elul 5775 â&#x20AC;˘ Tishrei 5776 l SDJewishJournal.com 35

high holidays 2015 CHABAD CONGREGATIONS Chabad of Carmel Valley 11860 Carmel Creek Rd. San Diego, CA 92130 Services held at the Ulam Hall of San Diego Jewish Academy chabadcv.com (858) 333-4613 Rosh Hashanah Sept 13: 6:30 p.m. evening service Sept 14: 9:30 a.m. morning service 11 a.m. children’s program noon Shofar 5:30 p.m. Taschlich 6:30 p.m. afternoon service Sept. 15: 9:30 a.m. morning service 11 a.m. children’s program noon Shofar 6:30 p.m. evening service Yom Kippur Sept 22: 6:30 p.m. Kol Nidre Sept. 23: 9:30 a.m. morning service 11 a.m. children’s program noon Yizkor 4:30 p.m. Mincha 5:30 p.m. Neilah

7:21 p.m. break the fast *All Jews are welcome regardless of affiliation. No cost, donations and reservations are appreciated. children’s program available. Chabad of Coronado Hotel del Coronado 1500 Orange Ave Coronado, CA 92118 chabadcoronado.com (619) 365-4728 Rosh Hashanah Sept. 13: 6:30 p.m. evening service followed by dinner Sept. 14: 10 a.m. morning service 5 p.m. Taschlich service at the beach 6:30 p.m. evening service Sept. 15: 10 a.m. morning service followed by dinner 6:30 p.m. evening service Yom Kippur Sept. 22: 6:30p.m. Kol Nidre Sept. 23: 10 a.m. morning service noon Yizkor 5:45 p.m. Mincha

6:15 p.m. Neilah 7:21 p.m. break the fast *Reservations are required for catered lunch and dinner. Visit chabadcoronado.com for more information and to make reservations. Chabad of Downtown 472 Third Ave. San Diego, CA 92101 chabaddowntown.com (619) 702-8518 *Call for times and reservation info. Chabad of East County 8693B La Mesa Blvd La Mesa, CA 91942 jewishec.com (619) 387-8770 Rosh Hashanah Sept. 13: 6:15 p.m. evening service Sept. 14: 10 a.m. morning service 5 p.m. Taschlich at Lake Murray Sept. 15: 10 a.m. morning service Yom Kippur Sept. 22: 6:30 p.m. Kol Nidre

Sept. 23: 10 a.m. morning service noon Yizkor 5:30 p.m. afternoon service 7:32 p.m. break the fast Chabad at La Costa 1980 La Costa Ave. Carlsbad, CA 92009 chabadatlacosta.com (760) 943-8891 *Contact office for times and schedule, and see our coverage in the sidebar on pg. 50. Chabad of La Jolla Shores 909 Prospect St. La Jolla, CA 93037 chabadoflajolla.com (858) 455-5433 *Call for times and reservation info. Chabad of Pacific Beach 4150 Mission Blvd., Suite 216 San Diego, CA 92109 chabadpb.org (619) 333-0344 Rosh Hashanah:

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high holidays Sept. 13: 6:30 p.m. Mincha followed by New Year’s dinner Sept. 14: 10 a.m. morning service and Shofar 2:15 p.m. Taschlich 7 p.m. Mincha Sept. 15: 10 a.m. morning service and Shofar followed by Mincha 7:45 p.m. evening service *Services at 4150 Mission Blvd., Suite 216. Yom Kippur Sept. 22: 6:45 p.m. Kol Nidre Sept. 23: 10 a.m. morning service 12:30 p.m. Yizkor 5:30 p.m. afternoon service 6:30 p.m. Neilah 7:21 p.m. break the fast *Service at the Bahia Resort Hotel. Chabad of Poway 16934 Chabad Way Poway, CA 92064 chabadpoway.com (858) 451-0455 *Call for times and reservation info. Chabad Scripps Ranch 10785 Pomerado Rd. San Diego, CA 92131 chabaddiego.com

(858) 547-0076 Rosh Hashanah Sept. 13: 6:30 p.m. evening service followed by community dinner. Sept. 14: 10 a.m. morning service 10:30 a.m. children’s camp and Shofar blowing 5:30 p.m. Taschlich at the Scripps Ranch Pond Sept. 15: 10 a.m. morning service 10:30 a.m. children’s program and Shofar blowing Yom Kippur Sept. 22: 6:30 p.m. Kol Nidre Sept. 23: 10 a.m. morning service 10:30 a.m. children’s program noon Yizkor 5 p.m. evening service 7:20 p.m. break the fast *All are welcome regardless of affiliation. No charge; donations appreciated. Children’s camp includes lunch and shofar blowing. Chabad of University City 3813 Governor Dr. San Diego, CA 92122 chabaduc.org (858) 455-1670 Rosh Hashanah Sept. 13: 6:30 p.m. Mincha followed by New Year’s dinner

Sept. 14: 9:30 a.m. morning service 6:30 p.m. Mincha and Taschlich 7:30 p.m. evening service Sept. 15: 9:30 a.m. morning service followed by Mincha 7:45 p.m. evening service Yom Kippur Sept. 22: 6:30 p.m. Mincha 6:45 p.m. Kol Nidre Sept. 23: 10 a.m. morning service 12:30 p.m. Yizkor 5:15 p.m. afternoon service 6:30 p.m. Neilah 7:21 p.m. break the fast *Child supervision available. Services are free of charge. No reservation necessary. Membership not required. Suggested donation of $180 per person. Chabad Jewish Center of Oceanside 1930 Sunset Drive Vista, CA 92081 jewishoceanside.com (760) 806-7765 *Call for times and reservation info. Chabad Jewish Center of Rancho Santa Fe P.O. Box 8282 Rancho Santa Fe, CA 92067

jewishrsf.com (858) 756-7571 *Call for times and reservation info. Chabad of the College Area 6115 Montezuma Road San Diego, CA 92115 jewishstudentlife.org (619) 265-0519 *Call for times and info.

CONSERVATIVE Congregation Beth Am 5050 Del Mar Heights Rd. San Diego CA, 92130 betham.com (858) 481-8454 Rosh Hashanah Sept. 13: 7:30 p.m. Erev Rosh Hashanah Sept. 14: 8:45 a.m. morning service 9:30 a.m. family tot service (preschool-1st grade) in preschool courtyard (open to community) 10 a.m. children’s program (1st-7th Grade) 7:30 p.m. Ma’ariv service Sept. 15: 8:45 a.m. morning service 10 a.m. children’s program (1st-7th Grade) 6 p.m. Minha/Taschlich at Fletcher Cove (open to community)

SENIORS CAN HITCH A FREE RIDE TO HIGH HOLIDAY SERVICES WITH ON THE GO Jewish Family Service’s On the Go program will offer seniors free rides to High Holiday services throughout the county – door-to-door from your home to synagogue and back! No one over the age of 60 should miss High Holiday services if they don’t have transportation, which is why JFS and On the Go have teamed up again this year to offer those community members a free ride to and from services in most instances. Advanced registration is required, and seniors must live within the regular On the Go service area, plus attend

services at a participating synagogue to receive a ride from volunteer drivers. In addition to High Holiday services transportation, On the Go keeps seniors moving with volunteer drivers who provide individual transportation to doctor appointments and other errands, shuttles for group transportation and organized excursions throughout San Diego and the surrounding areas. For more information, go to jfssd.org/onthego or call (877) 634-6537. Reservations accepted through Sept. 4.

Participating synagogues include: • Congregation Beth Am

• Temple Adat Shalom

• Congregation Beth El

• Ohr Shalom Synagogue

• Congregation Beth Israel

• Temple Emanu-El

• Congregation Dor Hadash

• Temple Solel

• Ner Tamid Synagogue

• Tifereth Israel Synagogue

38 SDJewishJournal.com l September 2015

Elul 5775 • Tishrei 5776 l SDJewishJournal.com 39

high holidays Yom Kippur Sept. 22: 6 p.m. Kol Nidre 1st service 8:45 p.m. Kol Nidre 2nd service Sept. 23: 8:45 a.m. morning service 9:30 a.m. family tot service (preschool-1st grade) 10 a.m. children’s program (1st-7th Grade) 11 a.m. teen session 2 p.m. study with Rabbi Cherry 4:30 p.m. Yizkor (open to community) 5 p.m. Minha/Neilah service (open to community) *Visit website to R.S.V.P. for childcare and to purchase tickets. Congregation Beth El 8660 Gilman Drive La Jolla CA, 92037 cbe.org (858) 452-1734 Rosh Hashanah Sept. 13: 6:15 p.m. Erev Rosh Hashanah service 7:30 p.m. Chai 20s/30s service Sept. 14: 9 a.m. morning service 10 a.m. family service 5 p.m. Taschlich at Kellog Park, La Jolla Shores

Sept. 15: 8:30 a.m. morning service Yom Kippur Sept. 22: 6:30 p.m. Kol Nidre 6:45 p.m. family service 8:45 p.m. alternative Kol Nidre community-wide service 8:30 p.m. Chai 20s and 30s Kol Nidre Sept. 23: 9 a.m. morning service 4 p.m. Mincha and Neilah (open to the community) 8 p.m. Chai 20s/30s break the fast Congregation B’nai Shalom 201 E. Broadway Vista, CA 92084 bnaishalomsd.org (760) 806-4766 *Call for times and reservation info. Congregation B’nai Tikvah 2510 Gateway Road Carlsbad, CA 92009 bnaitikvahsd.com (760) 650-2262 Rosh Hashanah Sept. 13: 7 p.m. evening service Sept. 14: 9 a.m. morning service 11:15 a.m. children’s service 2 p.m. Taschlich Yom Kippur

Sept. 22: 7 p.m. Kol Nidre Sept 23: 9 a.m. morning service 11 a.m. Yizkor 11:15 a.m. children’s service 4:45 p.m. Mincha 5:15 p.m. Neilah 6:30 p.m. break the fast *Service held with Rabbi Ben Leinow and Cantor Larry Kornit. Tickets for adult nonmembers are $100. Tickets for active military, active military dependents, and full-time students are $25. Children under 13 may attend the main service with a parent free of charge, and special children’s service are provided free by the Hebrew School at mentioned times mentioned above. Reserve tickets on bnaitikvahsd.com. Credit/debit cards accepted at the door if seats are still available. Ner Tamid Synagogue 15318 Pomerado Road Poway, CA 92064 nertamidsd.org (858) 513-8330 Rosh Hashanah Sept. 13: 7 p.m. Erev Rosh Hashanah evening service

Sept. 14: 8:45 a.m. morning service 10:30 a.m. K-7 youth service 4 p.m. Taschlich at Lake Poway Sept. 15: 8:45 a.m. morning service Sept. 22: 6:30 p.m. Kol Nidre Yom Kippur Sept. 23: 9 a.m. Yom Kippur service 4 p.m. Mincha/Yizkor/Neilah 7:15 break the fast *Open to the community, no ticket required. Members: included in dues. Family members under 25, $75-reservations required. Nonmembers $350-reservations required. First day of Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur child care: $20 per child 5 and under, advance registration required Ohr Shalom Synagogue 2512 Third Ave. San Diego, CA 92103 ohrshalom.org (619) 231-1456 *Call for times and reservation info. Temple Beth Shalom 208 Madrona St. Chula Vista, CA 91910 bethshalomtemple.com (619) 420-6040

A NEW YEAR’S MESSAGE FROM CALIFORNIA STATE SENATOR MARTY BLOCK Beach, and Coronado and am looking forward to continuing my Senate service in Sacramento. As the founding Chair of the California Legislative Jewish Caucus, I am so proud of what I have been able to accomplish with my Jewish colleagues across California and here in San Diego. This past year, I authored Senate Concurrent Resolution 25, which memorializes the Legislature’s continued support for research and technology between California and Israel.

Dear Friends, I want to wish you all a shana tova. I hope that you find health and joy in 5776. This is the traditional time to reflect on the past year and think about what is in store for the future. I am pleased to continue to serve San Diego, Del Mar, Solana 40 SDJewishJournal.com l September Seotember 2015

The caucus sponsored ACR 15, an annual resolution this year proclaiming April 1219 California Holocaust Memorial Week. In addition to the memorial week, SCR 39 recognized May 2015 as California’s first Jewish American Heritage Month. The recent and shocking rise of antiSemitism in our state, including swastika graffiti on the home of a Jewish family in Mira Mesa, spurred the caucus into action. We have restored state funding for the Museum of Tolerance, assisting to fund

their Tools for Tolerance program. This program trains educators across California using immersive learning environments to build safe and respectful schools. In addition to our legislative work, the Jewish Caucus has formed a 501(c)3 nonprofit organization. Established to educate and facilitate scholarships, the foundation has raised over $50,000. I am excited for what is coming up for the caucus in 5776. Members will be traveling to Paris and Israel together in the fall to meet with leaders, discuss the growth of anit-Semitism and cyber terrorism, tour historic sites, and attend the Water Technologies and Environmental Control (WATEC) Conference. Later in the year we will be honoring Outstanding Jewish Californians including Haim Saban and Erwin Chemerinsky. Thank you for the honor of serving you. Senator Marty Block 39th Senate District

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Elul 5775 • Tishrei 5776 l SDJewishJournal.com 41

high holidays Rosh Hashanah Sept. 13: 7:30 p.m. evening service Sept. 14: 9:30 a.m. morning service 11 a.m. children’s service 4:30 p.m. Taschlich at the J. St. Chula Vista Bay 6 p.m. Mincha/Ma’ariv service 6:30 p.m. Dinner – $25 Adults, $10 Children Sept. 15: 9:30 a.m. morning service 11 a.m. children’s service Yom Kippur Sept. 22: 6:30 p.m. Kol Nidre Sept. 23: 10 a.m. morning service 11:30 a.m. Yizkor 11:30 a.m. children’s service 4:30 p.m. Yom Kippur healing service 5:45 p.m. Mincha 6:30 p.m. Neilah 7:20 p.m. break the fast *Non-member contribution $150 for High Holidays service. Tifereth Israel Synagogue 6660 Cowles Mountain Blvd. San Diego CA, 92119 tiferethisrael.com

(619) 697-6001 Rosh Hashanah Sept. 13: 6:30 p.m. Erev Rosh Hashanah service Sept. 14: 8:30 a.m. morning service 5 p.m. Taschlich at Lake Murray Sept. 15: 8:30 a.m. morning service Yom Kippur Sept. 22: 6:15 p.m. Kol Nidre Sept. 23: 8:30 a.m. morning service 5 p.m. Mincha 6 p.m. Neilah 7:30 p.m. break the fast (by reservation) *Call the office for ticket price. Childcare and youth service are available at no charge with a reservation. Active military and their dependents, as well as students are free with photo i.d.

ORTHODOX Congregation Adat Yeshurun 8625 La Jolla Scenic Drive North La Jolla, CA 92037 adatyeshurun.org (858) 535-1196 option 2 *Reservations are required. Tickets

are $195 per person; high school and college students free. Children’s programming available for children ages 3-12 for $54 per child with a maximum of $120 per family. Cost covers all services. Break the fast tickets are sold separately and cost $15 per person. Contact Annette Olson at the contact details above or visit the website for service times. Beth Jacob Congregation 4855 College Ave San Diego, CA 92115 bjsd.org (619) 287-9890 Rosh Hashanah Sept. 13: 6:40 p.m. afternoon service Sept.14: 7:45 a.m. morning service 10:45 a.m. Shofar 6:30 p.m. afternoon service 7:28 p.m. light candles Sept. 15: 7:45 a.m. morning service 10:45 a.m. Shofar 6:30 p.m. afternoon service 7:37 p.m. Yom Tov Ends Yom Kippur

Sept. 22: 6 or 7 a.m. morning service 2 p.m. afternoon service 6:20 p.m. candle lighting 6:30 p.m. Kol Nidre Sept. 23: 8 a.m. morning service 10:30 a.m. Yizkor 6:25 p.m. Neilah 7:35 p.m. break the fast *No charge for seats but reservation is required by Sept. 10. Children’s program available. Congregation Kehillas Torah 14133 Via Alisal San Diego, CA 92128 kehillastorah.org (858) 829-9648 Rosh Hashanah Sept. 13: 6 p.m. evening service Sept. 14: 9 a.m. morning service Sept. 15: 9 a.m. morning service Yom Kippur Sept. 22: 6 p.m. evening service Sept. 23: 9 a.m. morning service 5 p.m. evening service *All service are at the Residence Inn; 11002 Rancho Carmel Drive, San Diego, CA 92128. Tickets ($125)

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Elul 5775 • Tishrei 5776 l SDJewishJournal.com 43

not that “same old” rote, boring service,

high holidays are required and include both holidays. No charge for active military. Childcare available. Orot HaCarmel 4653 Carmel Mountain Rd. Suite 308 San Diego, CA 92130 orothacarmel.org *Services take place at the San Diego Jewish Academy Rosh Hashanah Sept. 13: 6:30 p.m. afternoon service 6:45 p.m. main evening service plus kids service Sept. 14: 9 a.m. morning service 10:30 a.m. kids program plus beginners service 5:15 p.m. Taschlich 6:30 p.m. afternoon service 6:45 p.m. main evening service and children’s service Sept. 15: 9 a.m. morning service 10:30 a.m. children’s program and beginners service 11:15 a.m. Shofar blowing Yom Kippur Sept. 22: afternoon service 6:45 p.m. Kol Nidre and children’s service Sept. 23: 9 a.m. morning service 10:30 a.m. children’s service and beginners program 11 a.m. Yizkor 5 p.m. afternoon service 6 p.m. Neilah 7:22 break the fast

REFORM Congregation Beth Israel 9001 Towne Centre Dr. San Diego, CA 92122 cbisd.org (858) 535-1111 Rosh Hashanah Sept. 13: 6 p.m. evening family service* 8:30 p.m. late evening service* Sept. 14: 8:30 a.m. morning family service 11:30 a.m. late morning service* Sept. 15: (not ticketed) 9:30 a.m. morning service followed by Kiddush lunch Yom Kippur Sept. 22: 6 p.m. Kol Nidre early evening service* 8:30 p.m. Kol Nidre late evening service Sept. 23: 8:30 a.m. early morning family service 11:30 a.m. late morning service* 1:30 - 2:30 p.m. Contemporary 2:45 p.m. afternoon service* 4:30 p.m. Yizkor and Neilah service* 6 p.m. break the fast 6:30 p.m. 20s and 30s Community break the fast, location TBD *Members: $200 for full ticket, or $50 per service; Nonmembers: $275, Adult; $8, children under 18; Military free; Student up to age 26, free. Single service ticket prices vary. Childcare available, must pre-register. Beth Israel’s High Holidays childcare program is designed for children from age 2-6.

44 SDJewishJournal.com l September 2015

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May You and Your Loved Ones Be Inscribed for a Year Filled with Blessings Celebrate the High Holy Days with caring clergy in a friendly, vibrant community. For more information about Temple Etz Rimon and reserving space in our sanctuary to worship during these High Holy Days, please call (760)929-9503 or email us at info@templeetzrimon.org.

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high holidays Temple Adat Shalom 15905 Pomerado Rd. Poway CA, 92064 adatshalom.com (858) 451-1200 Rosh Hashanah Sept. 13: 7:30 p.m. Erev Rosh Hashanah service Sept 14: 8:30 a.m. traditional service 11:30 a.m. contemporary service 2:30 p.m. childrenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s service 4 p.m. Taschlich at Lake Poway Sept. 15: 10 a.m. morning service Yom Kippur Sept. 22: 7:30 p.m. Kol Nidre Sept. 23: 10 a.m. traditional service 10 a.m. teen service in courtyard 1 p.m. childrenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s service 2:30 p.m. adult discussion 3:30 p.m. contemporary Yizkor/Neilah *Free to students and active duty military, $90 friend or family of current members, or $125 per person per holiday. Reservation required and deadline is 24 hours prior to the services. No childcare provided. Temple Emanu-El 6299 Capri Drive San Diego, CA 92120 teesd.org (619) 286-2555 Rosh Hashanah Sept. 13: 7:30 p.m. Erev Rosh Hashanah service Sept. 14: 10 a.m. morning service 1:30 p.m. family service (tickets required) 5 p.m. Taschlich at Lake Murray Yom Kippur September 22: 7:30 p.m. Kol Nidre service September 23: 10 a.m. morning service 2 p.m. family service (tickets required) 3:15 p.m. afternoon service 4:30 p.m. Yizkor 5:30 p.m. Neilah, break the fast Dinner immediately following. Temple Etz Rimon 2020 Chestnut Ave. Carlsbad, CA 92008 templeetzrimon.org (760) 929-9503 Rosh Hashanah Sept. 13: 7 p.m. Erev Rosh Hashanah service Sept. 14: 10 a.m. Rosh Hashanah morning service 2:30 p.m. Taschlich service at Tamarck State Beach, Carlsbad Yom Kippur Sept. 22: 7 p.m. Kol Nidre Sept. 23: 10 a.m. Yom Kippur morning service 5:15 p.m. Yizkor and Neilah followed by break the fast *No charge for members; non-member fee is $210 for all High Holidays services. Please call for reservations. There is no childcare. Temple Solel 3575 Manchester Ave. Cardiff-By-The-Sea CA, 92007 templesolel.net (760) 436-0654 Rosh Hashanah 46 SDJewishJournal.com l September 2015

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high holidays Sept 13: 7:30 p.m. evening service Sept. 14: 8:30 a.m. early service 11:45 a.m. late service 3 p.m. family and children’s service (open to community) 4:30 p.m. Taschlich and congregational picnic at Cardiff State Beach (open to community) Sept. 15: 10 a.m. morning servicew (open to community) Yom Kippur Sept. 22: p.m. early service 8:45 p.m. late service Sept. 23: 8:30 a.m. early service 11:45 a.m. late service 3 p.m. children’s service (open to community) 4 p.m. afternoon service (open to community) 5:15 p.m. Yizkor service (open to community) 5:45 p.m. concluding service with Havdalah – open to the community *All services require tickets unless otherwise noted. Contact templesolelhhd@gmail.com for ticket pricing. Childcare and youth services available. Active military are free.

As we celebrate 5776, we reflect on how far we have come and how far we still have to go to secure “justice and fair treatment to all.” At this time of reflection, we thank you for helping us to Imagine A World Without Hate®.

L’Shana Tovah, ADL BoArD AnD StAff of the SAn Diego region

SEPHARDIC Congregation Beth Eliyahu 5012 Central Ave. Bonita, CA 91902 betheliyahu.org (619) 472-2144 Rosh Hashanah Sept. 13: 6:30 p.m. evening service Sept. 14: 8:30 a.m. morning service 12:30 p.m. Shofar service 6:30 p.m. Taschlich Sept. 15: 8:30 a.m. morning service 12:30 p.m. Shofar service 6:30 p.m. evening service Yom Kippur Sept. 22: 6:30 p.m. Kol Nidre Sept. 23: 8:30 a.m. morning service (children’s program) 4 p.m. afternoon service 5:30 p.m. evening service *Nonmembers please call for reservation and info. Childcare is offered. Magen Abraham Sephardic Synagogue Inside Chabad Hebrew Academy in Scripps Ranch 10875 Pomerado Road San Diego, CA 92131 magenabraham.org (619) 277-0380 *Call for times and reservation info.

JEWISH RENEWAL AND RECONSTRUCTIONIST Congregation Dor Hadash 11860 Carmel Creek Road San Diego, CA 92130 dorhadash.org (858) 268-3674 *Cost of tickets as follows: adults, $225; YAD members and seniors, $72; students and birthright alum, $36; children under 18 and active military, no charge. Rosh Hashanah Sept. 13: 7 p.m. evening service Sept. 14: 9:30 a.m. adult morning and family service for children 4:30 p.m. Taschlich at Playa Pacifica with Ohr Shalom Yom Kippur 48 SDJewishJournal.com l September 2015

2512 Third Avenue at Laurel St. San Diego, CA 92103 619.231.1456 | Fax: 619.231.1494 office@ohrshalom.org

OHR SHALOM SYNAGOGUE Ellen Statman, Religious School Principal Scott Meltzer, Rabbi We are a unique Synagogue offering a rich cultural blend of Conservative Judaism with a diverse international flavor found nowhere else in San Diego County.

Religious School

Hebrew•Tradition•History•Prayer Ages 3 - 13 years Our Religious School prides itself on a multi-grade, cooperative environment where all children feel welcome. Teachers emphasize individual strengths, teaching Judaism and Hebrew through music, storytelling, art and drama.

“The wo rld is only saved by the breath of school children”

It begins with the right setting. Comfortable surroundings that please the eye and senses. A responsive staff for resident support needs, with a licensed nurse on-site 24/7. Professionally guided fitness and therapy for an active lifestyle. Delicious, chef-prepared cuisine. Concierge and transportation services. Enriching activities for mind, body and spirit. What happens next is up to you. After all, it’s your story. Distinctive Residential Settings | Chef-Prepared Dining and Bistro Premier Programs for Health and Wellness | Aqua Aerobics and Fitness Professionally Supervised Therapy and Rehabilitation Services

belmontvillage.com Sabre Springs (858) 486-5020 Cardiff by the Sea (760) 436-8900 Winner of the George Mason University Healthcare Award for the Circle of Friends© memory program for Mild Cognitive Impairment. Provider to the NFL Player Care Plan. RCFE License 374603231, 374603279 © 2015 Belmont Village, L.P. SDJewishJournal_9_2015_chapter.indd 1

8/11/15 10:55 AM

B’nai Shalom

Affiliated with United Synagogue of Conservation Judaism

Serving San Diego and North County

Please Join Us For Our High Holiday Services at Carlsbad by the Sea

It’s not just what you do, it’s who you do it for.

I’m here to help you plan for the future so you can continue all the good you do in your life.

(Formally Holiday Inn Windmill) 850 Palomar Airport Rd., Carlsbad, CA Rosh Hashana Service:

Sept. 13th, Sunday at 7:30pm Sept. 14th, Monday at 9:30am to 1pm Sept. 15th, Tuesday at 9:30am to 1pm at the temple

Cynthia Bolker, CLU,® ChFC,® CAP® Agent, New York Life Insurance Company AR46225/CA0574964 4365 Executive Dr #800 San Diego, CA 92121 (858) 623-8685 cbolker@ft.newyorklife.com www.cbolker.com

Yom Kippur:

Sept. 22nd, Tuesday at 6:30pm-Kol Nidre Services Conducting Services: Sept. 23rd, Wednesday its 9:30am to 2pm Rabbi Hillel Silverman 11:00 - Yiskor Cantor Vladimir Staerman 2:00 to 5:00-(Break) 5:00 to 6:30pm - Neilah

Registered Representative oﬀering investments through NYLIFE Securities LLC (Member FINRA/ SIPC), A Licensed Insurance Agency.

There will be a break the fast following Neilah Service. Our High Holiday tickets will be only $125.00 which includes the first year membership and privileges for new members only. For Full Service Schedule, Reservations, High Holiday Tickets or Event Inquiries, Please call: Gary Polster at:

KEEP

GOOD

GOING

(619)701-7370 Visit our website at:

www.BnaiShalomSD.org 201 E. Broadway, Vista, CA

Elul 5775 • Tishrei 5776 l SDJewishJournal.com 49

CynthiaBolker_107393_LL7_3-875x4-9_Mag_V_Co.indd 1

10/18/13 3:37 PM

high holidays Sept. 22: 7 p.m. Kol Nidre Sept. 23: 9:30 a.m. adult morning service 4:30 p.m. Mincha 5:30 p.m. Yizkor 6:15: p.m. Neilah 7:15 p.m. children’s candlelight 7:30 p.m. break the fast *Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur service held at different locations depending on date. Contact the synagogue for location details and to arrange childcare. Childcare is free but reservations must be made ahead of time. Call Valentina at (858) 268-3674 ext. 101.

*Service will be held at Redeemer Presbyterian Church at 1831 South El Camino Real, Encinitas. Call for ticket prices and reservations. No children’s programming. Rosh Hashanah Sept. 13: 7:30 p.m. evening service Sept. 14: 9 a.m. morning service 5 p.m. Taschlich at Moonlight Beach, Encinitas Sept. 15: 9 a.m. morning service Yom Kippur Sept. 22: 6:30 p.m. Kol Nidre Sept. 23: 9 a.m. morning service 3 p.m. Mincha 5 p.m. Neilah

Shir Ha-Yam 4618 Rueda Drive San Diego, CA 92124 sandiegojewishrenewal.org (619) 251-4618 *Shir Ha-Yam community members are welcome to attend High Holy Day service with The Elijah Minyan or other service.

HUMANISTIC

The Elijah Minyan 3207 Cadencia St. La Costa, CA 92009 sandiegojewishrenewal.org (760) 943-8370

Kahal Am: The Humanistic Jewish Community of San Diego P.O. Box 927751 San Diego, CA 92192 kahalam.org (858) 549-3088 Rosh Hashanah Sept. 13: 7 p.m. in the Encinitas Community Center Sept. 14: 10:30 a.m. Taschlich at San Dieguito County Park near lower entrance Sept. 19: 10 a.m. children’s celebration at Oak Crest Park,

Encinitas Yom Kippur Sept. 23: 5:30 p.m. Yom Kippur break the fast at the Encinitas Community Center. *Registration and payment requested by Sept 9. Ticket prices include both holidays: adult guests - $45; young adults 16-28, $25, under 16 free. R.S.V.P. by Sept. 10. There is no charge for Tashlich or the children’s celebration.

POST DENOMINATIONAL AND UNAFFILIATED Chavurah Kol Haneshama Historic Temple Beth Israel 2455 Heritage Park Row San Diego, CA 92110 (619) 573-4216 Rosh Hashanah Sept. 13: 6 p.m. evening service Sept. 14: 10:30 a.m. morning service Yom Kippur Sept. 22: 8 p.m. Kol Nidre Sept. 23: 10:30 a.m. p.m. morning service 5 p.m. Yizkor 5:45 p.m. Neilah *Fees are $200 per adult for both Holy Days, $125 per adult for one

Holy Day (either Rosh Hashanah or Yom Kippur), and $50 for children 5-17 years old. If you’d like to participate, send an e-mail to marshall.voit@gmail.com by Sept. 10. Jewish Collaborative of San Diego 5927 Balfour Court, Suite 203 Carlsbad, CA 92008 jcosd.com (760) 707-7111 Rosh Hashanah Sept. 13: 6 p.m. evening service Sept. 14: 11 a.m. morning service followed by lunch and Taschlich at the beach Sept. 15: Rosh Hashanah Second Day Sampler featuring a variety of High Holiday themed classes. Yom Kippur Sept. 22: 7 p.m. Kol Nidre Sept. 23: 11 a.m. Yom Kippur service followed by breakout groups (meditation, text study, art, etc.) 4 p.m. Yom Kippur afternoon service including a healing service 5 p.m. Yizkor 6:30 p.m. break the fast *Tickets are free. Space is limited so priority will be given to JCo members and guests first.

High Holidays Retreat with Chabad La Costa For this year, imagine experiencing the High Holidays, staycation style. Chabad of La Costa has secured extremely reasonable rates at one of the finest hotels in the country, the La Costa Omni Resort, for those who want to experience the High Holidays and stay in luxurious accommodations walking distance from synagogue. “At Chabad our philosophy has always been to make people comfortable where they are and to invite them to become more observant and to invite them to explore how to enhance the amount of Judaism in their lives,” says Rabbi Eilfort. “This retreat will be extremely comfortable, elegant, upbeat and enjoyable while also being meaningful. One key component is that we got a phenomenal deal from the Omni Resort. It’s extremely convenient and our new shul is beautiful, friendly and warm.” Traditional, gourmet Holiday meals will be offered and are included in the price of the retreat. All meals will be served in Chabad at La Costa on fine china with real silverware. In addition to the holiday dinner and lunch, which will be served each day of the holiday, there will also be a continental breakfast, tea room, and prepared hospitality bags (one per room), for all guests. All food will be under the supervision 50 SDJewishJournal.com l September 2015

of Rabbi Yeruchem Eilfort, Director of Chabad at La Costa and member of the Vaad HaRabonim of San Diego. All meats will be Glatt Kosher, all dairy products will be Cholov Yisroel, all baked items will be Pas Yisroel, and all cooked items will be Bishul Yisroel. Imagine a High Holiday experience that is as invigorating for your body as it is for your soul. This retreat is open to all members plus a an additional 50 guests. To book your room at the special Chabad rate, call toll-free 800-854-5000 or book online at omnihotels.com/hotels/ san-diego-la-costa/meetings/chabad.

Sunday, September 13th -‐ Tuesday September 15th Please join us for Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur Services at Orot HaCarmel – The Modern Orthodox Community of Carmel Valley

Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur Services will be held at the San Diego Marrio< Del Mar 11966 Camino Real, San Diego, CA 92130 Our congregation, previously known as Kehillat Ahavat Yisrael (KAY), is a warm and welcoming one, that has been providing minyanim, Torah learning, exciting community programs and events, for over twelve years. Orot HaCarmel is home to almost 100 families, it is a unique community made vibrant through the diversity and integrity of its members.

For more informaHon and Hckets please visit us at – www.orothacarmel.org ; email to mail@orothacarmel.org Or call us at (858) 633-‐0181

Tuesday, September 22nd -‐ Wednesday, September 23rd Elul 5775 • Tishrei 5776 l SDJewishJournal.com 51

high holidays TEMECULA CHABAD Chabad of Temecula 41789 Nicole Lane, Suite B7 Temecula, CA 92591 (951)234-4196 jewishtemecula.com Rosh Hashanah: Sept. 13: 7:30 p.m. evening service Sept. 14: 10 a.m. morning service 11:45 a.m. Shofar unity Taschlich and family experience including Mincha at the Duck Pond 7:30 p.m. evening service Sept. 15: 10 a.m. morning service 11:45 a.m. Shofar Yom Kippur: Sept. 22: 6:27 p.m. Mincha and candle lighting 6:45 p.m. Kol Nidre and evening service Sept. 23 10 a.m. morning service noon Yizkor 5:20 p.m. Mincha 6:20 p.m. Neilah 7:21 p.m. break the fast *Service are free and no reservations are required. A children’s program will run from 11 a.m. until the end of service.

TEMECULA CONSERVATIVE Temple Beth Sholom of Temecula 26790 Ynez Court, Suite B Temecula, CA 92591 tbstemecula.org (951) 679-0419 Rosh Hashanah: Sept. 13 7 p.m. evening service Sept. 14 9:30 a.m. morning service Sept. 15 9:30 a.m. morning service Yom Kippur: Sept. 22: 6 p.m. evening service Sept. 23: 9 a.m. morning service 4 p.m. Yizkor followed by Mincha and Ne’ilah, break the fast at conclusion of service after blowing of Shofar *No child care provided. Tickets for non-members $75 per person and may be applied toward membership. Active military and children under 18 years of age are free.

TEMECULA REFORM Congregation Etz Chaim 16911 Gunn Stage RoadZ Ramona, CA 92065 etzchaimramona.org (760) 789-2781 Rosh Hashanah: Sept. 13 8 p.m. evening service Sept. 14 10 a.m. morning service Yom Kippur: Sept. 22 8:30 p.m. evening service Sep. 23 10 a.m. morning service

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HIGH HOLIDAY SERVICES BEGIN SUNDAY SEPT. 13, 7PM

This High Holiday season Cantor Svetlana Portnvansky from Newport Beach joins our Rabbinical team, Rabbi Marc, Lay Leader Steve Epstein, and Student Rabbi Josh Ginsberg-Margo. Cantor Svetlana received her training at The Jewish Theological Seminary in New York and her concerts have earned her international acclaim. To view Svetlana online use this link: http://youtube/WMfrUcyxZLE

Please call for a complete schedule & to reserve your tickets.

NO CHARGE FOR HIGH HOLIDAY TICKETS Contributions are appreciated

Join us Erev Rosh Hashanah for a special Oneg sponsored by Rabbi Marc & Marjorie

bnaichaim.com 951.677.7350 29500 Via Princesa, Murrieta, CA 92563 52 SDJewishJournal.com l September Seotember 2015

xhnt xie Ohr Ami - The Jewish Hospice Program and LightBridge Hospice & Palliative Care wish you and your loved ones a good and sweet year.

TheJewishHospice.com (858) 458-3602 6155 Cornerstone Court East, Suite 220 San Diego, CA 92121

We pray that 5776 will be a year filled with goodness and blessings for all.

THE HIGH HOLY DAYS

Since 1958, the Jewish Community has come together to Remember, Reflect, and Renew, at Temple Beth Shalom of Chula Vista. We invite you to join our welcoming congregation in observance of Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur.

Special Community Event

Yale Strom performs music of The High Holy Days,

Friday, September 11 at 7:30 pm. Contact Gloria 619-942-6212 or Arlene 858-344-5632

May you be inscribed in the Book of Life, and may God grant you good health, prosperity, happiness and lots of laughter in the coming year.

L ’shana Tova! Rabbi Leonard Rosenthal Jerry Hermes, President

TEMPLE BETH SHALOM (619)420-6040 208 Madrona Street • Chula Vista

Also visit our webpage for information on upcoming events and classes!

www.bethshalomtemple.com

6660 Cowles Mountain Boulevard San Diego, CA 92119 • 619-697-6001 www.tiferethisrael.com Elul 5775 • Tishrei 5776 l SDJewishJournal.com 53

high holidays

Sweet and Sour San Diego beekeepers and a Jewish program developer call attention to natureâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s pollinators in their time of need. By Natalie Jacobs

54 SDJewishJournal.com l Seotember September 2015

oney is a Rosh Hashanah staple and while we use the divine nectar to wish ourselves and our loved ones a “sweet new year” this month, it’s worth keeping bees – the ones that make honey but also those that just pollinate flowers – in our holiday blessings too. They could definitely use the help. Each year around the world, except in Australia, commercial beekeepers are reporting, on average, 40 percent losses of their bee populations. One mature colony consists of 30,000 bees and a commercial beekeeper maintains 1,000 or more colonies. That means at least 12 million bees are dying per commercial operation per year. This problem goes by the name Colony Collapse Disorder and it’s increasingly attributed to a specific class of insecticide known as neonicotinoids, which are systemic pesticides that have been built into the DNA of various plant species or embedded directly into soil varieties since the 1990s. Studies by the Harvard School of Public Health and others are proving links between the neonicotinoid pesticides and the growing bee problem but pro-chemical capitalists are finding other things, like mites and other predators, at which to point their fingers. In the meantime, bees continue to die at record rates. Hilary Kearny has been a beekeeper in San Diego for five years. She got interested in bees in college at UC Santa Cruz when she happened upon a book about the curious creatures that live in matriarchal colonies and accidentally make it possible for the world to eat fresh fruits and vegetables. When Kearny moved back to San Diego, she started a company called Girl Next Door Honey which eventually grew into a fulltime job. Kearny is an industrious entrepreneur who is immensely passionate and knowledgeable about nature’s pollinators. For her business, Kearny maintains more than 50 bee colonies, but instead of keeping them on one plot of her own land, she has host residences spread throughout the city and county. She drives around constantly to check on, maintain, and harvest the honey from each hive. Unlike those of commercial beekeepers, Kearny’s hives are experiencing what she calls “relatively normal” losses. She attributes this to the strict standards she requires of her hosts – no pesticides allowed on their property – and to the care she takes not to stress out her bees. The no-pesticides rule can be particularly difficult, she notes, because many plants bought at

superstores like Home Depot or Lowes come pre-treated with the neonicotinoid chemicals, so even well-intentioned homeowners wishing to plant a pollinator garden may inadvertently cause harm. “The pesticide weakens the bee’s immune system and that opens them up to all sorts of other things,” Kearny says. “Any stress that the bees would normally be able to overcome is a huge taxing stress on them because their immune system has been compromised. “The other thing it does,” she continues, “is it scrambles their neurological system so that they’re not able to navigate to and from their hive as efficiently, they’re not able to collect as much food. So they’re also weakened nutritionally just because of that, because they have to work harder to get less food because their brains are scrambled. That makes them weaker too, so it’s like a one-two punch.” Along with an increase in pesticide use, the drought is making food sources harder for San Diego’s more than 4,000 bee species to find. “Everyone shouldn’t be a beekeeper because we don’t have enough food to support that many bees,” Kearny says. “If everyone had a hive in their backyard [the bees] would starve because there’s not enough flowers.” Kearny says some of her hosts are interested in having a hive because fruits and vegetable plants will produce better tasting food, and more of it, when a hive is nearby. Others are interested in the honey, which Kearny sells to her hosts at a deep discount. But most, she says, just want to help the bees. When consulting with new hosts for her hives, Kearny offers a list of native flowering plants that require little water, explaining that the best way to help bees is to provide reliable food sources. “We did a survey of the city and we ranked really low [compared to] other large cities in terms of how many flowers we actually have,” Kearny says. “A lot of our landscaping is waterheavy landscaping like grass lawns and shrubs that actually aren’t supportive of the pollinators at all, and are not useful at all. If you start looking around, you’ll notice all the plants that don’t flower.” Aside from residential landscapes, canyon spaces around the county have historically been fertile ground for pollen, but those areas are now barren as far as bees are concerned because the plants don’t get enough water to flower. And as

regions that used to be open spaces, like Mission Valley, are mowed over and turned into dirt lots for condo sprawl, opportunities for native bees to find food continue to dwindle. While dipping apples in honey during Rosh Hashanah is something of a good luck gesture for the coming year, the sweet nectar has a long and reverent history for cultures throughout the world. There are stories of honey jars excavated from ancient Egyptian tombs, the nectar inside still perfectly edible. Because of its preservative qualities, the ancient Egyptians also used honey as an emblaming liquid. Egypt, Greece, Italy and Israel were known to keep bees for their honey up until the collapse of the Roman Empire. And both the Egyptians and the Greeks used honey in offerings to various G-ds, but the ancient Greeks also viewed honey as a medicinal healer. Plus, one of the first alcohols – mead – is made with honey. For Carole Yellen, head of Jewish Family Service’s North Coastal Jewish Connections programming, bees themselves are important to consider this time of year as Jews revisit the creation story. “I used to be a Sunday school teacher at Temple Solel,” Yellen explains. “I would teach the third graders that creation is on-going and we have a responsibility to help support it. If that means that we need to plant pollinator friendly flowers to keep the bees around, I think that could be a really interesting lesson as well.” To explore that lesson, Yellen developed a High Holidays program focused on the importance of bees. Families were invited to The Leichtag Ranch for a few hours in late August to “take a closer look at why honey is one of the themes [of the High Holidays] and what does it mean to us more agriculturally and ecologically.” Hilary Elul 5775 • Tishrei 5776 l SDJewishJournal.com 55

As bees continue dying from Colony Collapse Disorder and the drought continues to limit California’s flowers, honey production dwindles. “It’s completely out of my control how much honey I get,” Kearny says. “That’s up to Mother Nature and the bees, and the weather.” Kearny was there to play games and give an overview of how bees live, how honey is made, and also to help kids overcome any fears of bees and bee stings. “I think it’s an interesting way to look at creation as including all of our living beings and how they interconnect. And to continue creation in reality,” Yellen says. “Bees are creation,” says Bill Tall, owner of City Farmers Nursery, which, among many other things, is home to a bee colony. “Without bees there would be no food, or there would be very little food.” Tall started City Farmers 43 years ago when he was 16 and a student at Madison High School. In the decades since, the City Heights nursery has become a valuable resource for professionals and hobbyists in need of everything from organic apple trees to hydroponic growing supplies to chickens. Tall has always seen his nursery as a place to connect people so when a group of customers about seven years ago approached him with the idea to host a beekeeping Meetup group on the property, he was more than happy to provide the space. Three or four people attended the first few meetings and now the group boasts more than 600 members. In keeping with the rising interest in residential beekeeping, the city of San Diego legalized the practice in 2012. As bees continue dying from Colony Collapse Disorder and the drought continues to limit California’s flowers, honey production naturally dwindles. “It’s completely out of my control how much honey I get,” Kearny says. “That’s up to Mother Nature and the bees, and the weather.” Even though her company is called Girl Next 56 SDJewishJournal.com l September 2015

Door Honey, Kearny doesn’t rely on the product as her main source of income. “I’ve been talking to beekeepers who have been beekeeping in San Diego for 30 years commercially. This one guy told me that he used to pull 400 pounds of honey per hive every year. Now he’s lucky if he sees 40 pounds per colony. “That’s my experience,” she continues. “If I get 40 pounds of honey off one of my colonies I’m like yessss. But it used to be a lot more reliable. Even just from when I first started beekeeping to now, [I get] so much less honey.” Tall agrees that commercial beekeepers across the country are experiencing severe declines in honey production, but here in San Diego, he says he’s had a “decent year collecting honey.” He attributes the decline for hobbyists to the drought. His bees are feeling ok because his 1.5 acres offer plenty of food options for them, and he’s careful to keep the food available yeararound. Tall’s personal interest in beekeeping came about when he was exploring the possibilities of making a larger change in his life. That change: he wanted to stop going to the grocery store. “Part of my not going grocery shopping was having my own garden, [thus] having my own bees. “With my hives, I get 300 pounds of apples off my [five] trees,” he says, listing off the ways he’s been able to survive without a weekly shopping ritual. “That’s a lot of apples. We sell a bunch. I dehydrate so I can eat them during the winter. We make apple sauce. I’ve made hard apple cider,” he goes on. “But [apple trees] don’t flower until spring. So what do you do in the winter? You start planting different plants that flower in the winter so that

[bees] have a [food] source.” Now, Tall has to tell customers to please keep their kids from picking the fruit off the trees that line the nursery. “That’s my food!” he says. It’s part of a greater responsibility Tall believes we all owe to each other and the world we share. “In life I feel what you leave on Earth is what you helped Earth do. Whether it be mankind or people planting gardens.” He recalls a time when he heard a Holocaust survivor speak at a local synagogue. “The moderator asked him if there was any kind of message he would like to leave for the world when he passes. He said yes, there’s three things. Number one, people should never forget. Second thing is that we’re all created equal... nobody is better than anybody else. The third thing (which I live by and I think it’s the most true thing in the world), the world would be a better place simply if people just helped people. That’s it. That’s all. People helping people. “When I look at what’s going on nowadays,” Tall continues, “I don’t get mad at it like some people. I just look at it [thinking] how stupid some of this stuff is. [We should be] getting back to people helping people.” Now if we just add helping bees to the list, there may be hope for us yet. A Interested in hosting a hive? Contact Hilary Kearny and learn more about all the services she provides at girlnextdoorhoney.com. If you’re in the market for pesticide-free plants, gardening supplies, or a walking encyclopedia, visit cityfarmersnursery.com. And learn more about San Diego’s thriving beekeeping community at sandiegobeekeepingsociety.com.

Starter Guide to Residential Beekeeping Be weary of buying equipment you don’t need. Bees are afraid of two things: bears and fire. When harvesting your hives, wear light colors. If you need to slow the bees down for a moment, blow smoke in the hive. When you harvest the honey, leave some for the bees. That’s their food too! And harvest in the spring and summer, when the honey is plentiful.

Native flowering plants bees, butterflies and hummingbirds love • Various Manzanita varieties

• California Wild Lilacs

• Milkweed

• California Penstemons

• Desert Willow

• California Currants and Gooseberries

• Daisy varieties

• California Buckwheat

• Many-flowered Bush Mallow

• Yarrow

• Lemonade Berry

• Rabbit Brush

Don’t open the hives in the middle of the day. Bees are generally calmer in the early morning or evening when the weather is cooler and the light is dimmer.

• Laurel Sumac

• Gray Blue Bird Bush

• Scarlet Bugler

• Butterfly Mint Bush

• White Sage

• Pine Bee Flower

Don’t wear perfume or cologne when working with the hive – they will confuse you with a flower and swarm.

• Various Salvia varieties

• Elderberry

• Desert Mallow

• California Figwort

• San Diego Sunflower

• Golden Rod

• California Fuchsia

• Hedge Nettle

• Multiflowered Snapdragon

• Snow Berry

Bees need water, so if your hive isn’t near a water source, put one nearby.

Check the hives often. Keeping regular tabs will help you notice if bees are becoming weak or developing disease. While residential beekeeping is legal in San Diego, it’s a good idea to tell your neighbors that you’re bringing in a hive. Consider putting up a sign about the hive so that when meter readers and other people come to your house, they’re aware that the bees are there on purpose.

• Morning Glory

• Woolly Blue Curls

Keep the hives up higher than where people walk – bees fly into their homes in a straight line. If their house is high, they are less likely to run into people on their way home. It takes a colony in a fresh hive about one year to mature and produce honey. Both City Farmers Nursery and Girl Next Door Honey offer beekeeping classes to get you started.

Elul 5775 • Tishrei 5776 l SDJewishJournal.com 57

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high holidays

Loaves of Love Investigating the magic of challah – hint: it comes from the soul BY TINA B. ESHEL

hen it comes to the king of bread, is there anything more golden, fragrant and delicious than challah? Three, four or six strands, traditional, round or shaped like a ladder, challah rises to each occasion, and nothing tops it except perhaps poppy seeds, cinnamon sugar or chocolate chips. With the High Holidays upon us, it’s a perfect time to take a deeper look at the history of this sacred food with help from the bakers who keep its traditions alive. It turns out, challah is not really challah, according to Lang’s Bakery of San Diego, which has been in business since 1984, and is now exclusively a wholesale bakery located in the College area. The business is managed and operated by Orthodox observer Bill Retin. “Challah is not the bread we eat, it’s the portion that is taken,” Retin explains. “It’s the part that is separated from each batch by the rabbis. We call the bread challah, but challah is the part that was used as a sacrifice in the Beit Midrash.” Lang’s Bakery products are strictly kosher and Pas Israel, which makes Lang’s the only bakery in San Diego and Orange County to comply with this very strict interpretation of the laws of kashrut. But, the majority of Lang’s customers don’t keep kosher…and they aren’t even Jewish. In fact, I’ve gathered lots of anecdotal confirmation that when it comes to challah, some of the biggest fans aren’t Members of the Tribe. “We have about 300 items and sell to super markets, schools, hotels and restaurants. A lot of restaurants use our challah for french toast. Sixty percent of our clients are non-kosher … they like our products for french toast, brioche and stuffing at Thanksgiving,” Retin says. Breaking bread, Jewishly Challah has different kinds of significance, says Rabbi Scott Meltzer of Ohr Shalom, a Conservative synagogue near Balboa Park that serves a spiritual community of about 360

An at-home chef finishes up the last of her braids. Next, she’ll let the loaf rise before baking.

families. “There’s the issue of the origin of challah and it [goes] all the way back to the Temple in Jerusalem when loaves of bread were baked, a pinch of the dough (of course it’s a prescribed quantity, not a pinch) was left in the oven as a form of a thanksgiving offering … for the dough and the bread. “It became a tradition even after the temple stood,” Meltzer continues, “that every time one baked bread … a small amount of the dough was left in the oven and was baked or burnt to a crisp and for us now, it’s no longer a sacrifice, it’s a reminder of the Temple.” Meltzer also says Jews view challah like brisket

or kugel, as quintessentially Jewish soul food. Breads baked with egg are sweeter, and what would Shabbat be without challah? “For most of the Jewish world, [challah] has become so traditional … that if you were to put a good, fresh loaf of whole wheat or rye or sourdough in place of the egg bread, people are up in arms…challah has become so significant in terms of Jewish soul food that in some ways it’s become indispensible for Shabbos.” There’s also a tradition that links dough to females. “It’s both sexist and beautiful,” depending on your viewpoint, says Rabbi Meltzer. “There are three mitzvot associated with women, and one Elul 5775 • Tishrei 5776 l SDJewishJournal.com 59

high holidays Where to get Kosher and Non-Kosher Challah) Lang’s Bakery of San Diego is the only kosher bakery in town. Since they are a wholesale market, you have to purchase their baked goods at select grocers that carry their products. Try Keil’s, Albertsons, Windmill Farms, Ralphs, Vons and Haggens. During the school year, you can also preorder and pick it up at Soille Hebrew Day, Chabad Hebrew Academy, the Jewish Academy, and some synagogues such as Ohr Shalom and Temple Solel. Many grocery stores and markets around the county sell challah, kosher and not. Check with your local vendor to confirm availability. STORES THAT SELL KOSHER CHALLAH Albertson Many locations Barons Markets All locations Bristol Farms 8510 Genessee Ave San Diego, CA 92122 (858) 558-4180 of them is taking the challah, doing the dough offering because women did most of the baking at home and then it becomes associated” with something else. “You start off with dough and it rises to fluffy, delicious bread…that becomes parallel, actually, with pregnancy. There are associations with how the bread rises and how a woman’s belly should rise. This all gets tied up with traditions about the home, family … Shabbat dinner connected with the feminine.” The round shape of challah at the Jewish New Year is also, of course, significant. “The interesting thing is,” Meltzer says, “as much as we tend to think of the passage of time as linear, yesterday’s behind us, tomorrow’s in front of us, much of tradition thinks of the passage of time as cyclical. We come back to the [autumn], we come back to Rosh Hashanah. We bake a round challah [for Rosh Hashanah] to be symbolic of the cyclical nature” of life and the year. Rabbi Avi Lipman of Congregation Beth El says that digging into the challah is his favorite moment other than blessing his children on Friday nights. “I love challah because I think it’s one of the most beautiful symbols of our tradition. “And the roundness in particular on Rosh Hashanah is also a beautiful symbol that is meaningful to everyone. So it’s a symbol of the fullness of life, the circle of life, and it’s also a reminder of the simplicity of life. Sometimes we tend to overcomplicate things but sometimes life is just very simple and in the moment at the Shabbat table … the deepness and richness of life all come together when all generations can partake of the very same symbol we call Challah.” A

60 SDJewishJournal.com l September 2015

Frazier Farms 225 Vista Village Dr Vista, CA 92083 (760) 758-7175 Haggen Food and Pharmacy Many locations Jimbo’s Naturally! All locations Keil’s Foods 7403 Jackson Dr San Diego, CA 92119 (619) 667-2750 Ralph’s “Kosher Experience” 8657 Villa La Jolla Dr La Jolla, CA 92037 (858) 597-1550 The Spice Way 260 N El Camino Real Ste B Encinitas, CA 92024 (760) 634-9709 Trader Joes All locations Vine Ripe Market 8191 Fletcher Pkwy La Mesa, CA 91942 (619) 462-7800

Vons Many locations Windmill Farms 6386 Del Cerro Blvd San Diego, CA 92120 (858) 223-0553 NON-KOSHER BAKERIES/ DELIS THAT SELL CHALLAH Bread and Cie 350 University Ave San Diego, CA 92103 (619) 683-9322 Charlie’s Best Bread 1808 Garnet Ave San Diego, CA 92109 (858) 272-3521 Village Mill Bread Company 3545 Del Mar Heights Rd San Diego, CA 92130 (858) 794-4994 DZ Akins 6930 Alvarado Rd San Diego, CA 92120 (619) 265-0218 Elijah’s Delicatessan 7061 Clairemont Mesa Blvd. San Diego, CA 92111 (858) 455-1461 Con Pan Rustic Breads and Cafe 2750 Dewey Rd San Diego, CA 92106 (619) 224-4344

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Elul 5775 • Tishrei 5776 l SDJewishJournal.com 61

high holidays

The Reform Movement Ushers in New Prayer Book San Diego synagogues join others throughout the U.S. in embracing change BY BRIE STIMSON

he Reform movement is by its nature diverse, and their new High Holidays prayer book is a strong reflection of that. Take a moment to think back on the big news stories of the Hebrew year 5775: The Supreme Court legalized gay marriage, Bruce Jenner became Caitlyn Jenner, police nationwide came under fire for their racist and sometimes murderous tendencies, and Israel navigated through a tense relationship with the U.S. With all of that, interfaith marriages hardly seem noteworthy anymore. Americans’ views are changing and the Reform Movement’s new machzor hopes to reflect that. Last year, nearly 300 congregations across the country piloted the new prayer book, and many additional synagogues will use it for the first time this year. Alongside traditional scripture, contemporary writers offer analytic interpretations, G-d is sometimes referred to as “she,” some prayers are augmented to decrease standing time for disabled people, and all prayers are LGBT friendly. Hebrew passages are also transliterated. Several Southern California synagogues will be using the new book for this year’s High Holiday services. Most Reform rabbis feel it will be a positive but definite change for some congregants. “It’s brand new and it’s presenting some ideas that are untraditional and experimental,” says Rabbi Michael Berk, senior rabbi at Congregation Beth Israel in San Diego. “And it will be interesting to see how it works.” Rabbi Gersh Zylberman, senior rabbi at Temple Bat Yahm in Newport Beach says the new book will be the starkest change to his High Holiday services. “The big change is the introduction of the new prayer book which is something that happens every few decades. It’s a demonstration of the vitality of our movement that we continue to 62 SDJewishJournal.com l September 2015

evolve and change over time,” Zylberman says. “We are a congregation that reaches out and meets the needs of diverse groups of people.” Rabbi David Frank of Temple Solel in Cardiff agrees the new machzor will liven up this year’s services. “Temple Solel is very excited about Mishkan HaNefesh. It is full of engaging readings, poetry, text, and explanations,” Rabbi Frank says. “It is the most complete and richest machzor the Reform Movement has ever produced.” Hand-in-hand with the new book, many congregations have their own changes planned for this year’s services. “We are introducing new music, availing ourselves of new English readings, and giving more opportunity for individual study and reflection,” says Rabbi Frank. Both Rabbi Berk and Rabbi Zylberman plan special services for children and young adults during Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. “We are likely to have a reception for young adults before an evening service just for them to be together and connect and maybe that way no one walks into the service alone, theoretically,” says Rabbi Berk. Temple Bat Yahm offers child friendly High Holiday services and special programming for kids. Beth Israel plans to bring in video screens to its High Holiday services this year to help those with poor eyesight. Rabbi Berk is also hoping to give a sense of “feeling at home” to his congregation. “One of the things we’re doing is on Rosh Hashanah we will have … a coffee shop gathering spot for people to have a snack or to have a cup of coffee or tea or something to make them feel like you’re at your home. A place where you belong and feel connected to.” Rabbi Zylberman, who plans to keep his services mostly the same, feels the book will be adjustment enough for his congregants.

“The vast majority of the music will be unchanged and I think people will feel at home very quickly with this new prayer book. On the other hand there will be some things to get used to.” All of these innovations are hardly shocking to a movement that has always been changing and evolving, and has very often taken the lead throughout history. Reform Judaism has long been a supporter of gay rights. In 1965, Women of Reform Judaism fought for the decriminalization of homosexuality, and the movement has continued to support LGBT equality since. LGBT Jews may be ordained as rabbis and cantors, and most Reform rabbis happily perform same-sex marriages. Reform Jews have been at the forefront of civil rights as well. Kivie Kaplan, a vice-chairman of the Union of American Hebrew Congregations (now the Union for Reform Judaism) served as chairman of the NAACP from 1966 to 1975. Along with Martin Juther King, Jr., police also arrested a number of Reform Jews for “unlawful assembly” in St. Augustine, Fla., in 1964. One of the editors of the new machzor said in a story on the Reform Judaism website that they are not so much creating a book as straightening out a set of problems. The seven rabbis who put together the new book wanted to create a source of comfort and guidance for Jews who live in this century and need counsel relevant to their lives. “I think change is something that we all inherently both are excited by and approach with some trepidation,” Bat Yahm’s Rabbi Zylberman says. A If you go to a Reform service this year, we’d love to hear what you think of the new machzor. Thoughts are always welcome at editor@sdjewishjournal.com.

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Elul 5775 • Tishrei 5776 l SDJewishJournal.com 63

high holidays

Is Forgiveness Enough? Or, how to take what we learn in the High Holidays and apply that toward becoming our best self. BY TINA B. ESHEL

or the past 18 months I’ve been in an intense group-coaching program that’s allowed me to see myself in a new way, through my patterned inclinations which may not be acting in my own best interest. If you’ve read any self-help books or taken any personal growth courses then you know the stuff of which I speak: ego trips, defensiveness, faulty thinking, bad habits, killer beliefs...that sort of thing. What I’ve learned is that I’m a pretty cool person who has a boatload of things to work on, which is to say, I’m pretty much just like everyone else. In the spirit of the season, I’m contemplating forgiveness from these new, hopefully clearer lenses. It is wonderful that we have a dedicated time to reflect, repent and ask for forgiveness for our transgressions – against others but also those we perpetrate onto ourselves – but this year I’m stuck wondering is forgiveness always enough? Consider this: Can a woman ever completely forgive her rapist? Can parents really forgive the drunk driver who killed their child? What if you are going through a divorce and the mediation is long and contentious? In these and so many situations, there’s a realization that on some fundamental level, forgiveness is limited and, as I am learning to understand, asking for it can have a selfish intent. Consider the rapist or the murderer who asks for forgiveness for heinous actions. One motivation of asking for forgiveness is really absolution and a relief of their guilt about the deeds committed. The upset may still be there, the woman’s fear ever present, the child’s absence ever felt, and no apology will completely erase her memories or soothe the loss. Am I then anti-forgiveness? No, I don’t think so. Maybe I’m just pro-acceptance. And there is a meaningful Jewish difference. “Exploring the Jewish concepts of acceptance and forgiveness is a tough thing,” says Rabbi Josh Burrows, co-founder of the Jewish Collaborative 64 SDJewishJournal.com l September 2015

of San Diego. “Those words are so heavy in English, and they don’t necessarily translate easily in Hebrew.” The difficulty in distinguishing the two terms comes from the fact that they can be applied differently to different scenarios. “In the mourning process,” Burrows explains, “forgiveness can lead to acceptance. In repentance, acceptance is necessary for forgiveness.” Both applications are heavy on my mind this year. I find myself with an accidental laundry list of seemingly small things that have added up to large grievances in strange ways over the past year. And, I’ve been mourning the loss of my father since November. So by this point in my personal development, my head sometimes spins. Getting rabbinical perspective really helps. “In Judaism, acceptance and forgiveness are part and parcel of Teshuvah. In English the word Teshuvah means ‘repentance’ – but what it really means is ‘turning’ or ‘returning.’ The idea here is that repentance, in Hebrew, connotes a type of returning to one self,” Burrows says. Thus, the process we embark on in the coming days starts within ourselves. “Necessary for forgiveness is an admission of guilt, in Judaism. Thus, most High Holiday Jewish liturgy is about the wrongs that we committed, not the wrongs that were committed against us,” Burrows says. “In this sense, accepting our own wrong-doings is an important step for both giving and receiving forgiveness. We accept that we have sinned, and so we are encouraged to forgive others.” What I’ve learned these past 18 months is that my best self isn’t defined by what has happened to me or what I’ve accomplished, but is a reflection of my conscious responses. I’m not suggesting in any way that I’ve reached the level of enlightenment that allows me to be my best self at all times. But I’m getting there, one choice and response at a time. Burrows suggests that is the difficult process

we all need to go through. “Not all Jewish minds agree on the role of forgiveness and acceptance in this process [of becoming your best self ]. But I think the gist of it will be, however acceptance and forgiveness leads you to your best, most ethical and powerful self, define them and assign them importance however you must!” Therein lies the most difficult part. The work I’m putting in and the questions I have can really only be answered within myself. “Unlike the other Abrahamic Faiths here, we Jews don’t have a ‘historical’ character to model ourselves after on the themes of acceptance and forgiveness,” Burrows explains. “Christians, for example, will follow the example of Christ in their practice of forgiveness and acceptance. Muslims will do so for Mohammed. But us Jews? Our heroes are often unforgiving and unaccepting. Think about Moses’ quick-to-anger personality. Our takes on acceptance and forgiveness have to be inferred.” But we still have each other, and the High Holidays also remind us that, while our struggles are individual, our support system reaches far and wide, if we’re willing to open ourselves up to it. A

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Elul 5775 • Tishrei 5776 l SDJewishJournal.com 65

FEATURE

Last year’s Shabbat San Diego challah bake had 1,500 attendees. This year, that number is expected to double.

The World’s Largest Shabbat Celebration Returns to San Diego Here’s what you can expect from the festivities BY ABBY WALKER AND NATALIE JACOBS

habbat San Diego is a countywide celebration that represents our city’s participation in a worldwide celebration of Shabbat. The jam-packed annual threeday event will return for the second time this October with an assortment of activities for everyone in the Jewish community here. The International Shabbat Project, which encompasses more than 500 cities in 35 countries, encourages people to come together 66 SDJewishJournal.com l September 2015

and observe Shabbat as both a local and global community. More than two million people worldwide participated in last year’s event and more than 6,000 San Diegans took part in the inaugural local festivities. This year’s event takes place Oct. 22-24. “The event is for everyone,” says Robyn Lichter, co-chair of Shabbat San Diego. “All differences are set aside. The community becomes unified across all denominations and those that

are unaffiliated, as we respectfully enjoy the beauty of Shabbat and its rituals together.” There are 18 committees working within the Shabbat San Diego umbrella to bring out all 50,000 Jewish households in San Diego County. All area synagogues are involved along with more than 100 local schools and organizations. Throughout the week, Shabbat San Diego will feature a variety of cultural events, including a massive challah baking class, a music-filled

IDF soldiers and civilians joined in on the Havdalah last year. This year, Shabbat San Diego hopes to see more diverse groups at events around town.

Havdalah celebration and other special events. “While we encourage observing a traditional Shabbat, we are hopeful that each individual has their most personally meaningful Shabbat experience yet,” Lichter says. “We request all participants get unplugged for 24 hours from electronics, daily routines, distractions and demands and plug into the beauty of Shabbat in an inclusive, authentic and connected way.” The three days of festival focus on the traditional aspects of Shabbat observance, but the scale of the city- and county-wide programs also emphasize the importance of community. This year, Shabbat San Diego says their goal is to help the community “rediscover our heritage, get unplugged from the burdens, distractions, demands and pressures of daily life, and plug into renewing ourselves, emerging spiritually, emotionally and physically invigorated.” Here’s how they’re going to do it: Meal prep Since there are so many options available when creating a Shabbat meal, there will be several cooking classes held the week before the Oct. 23 Shabbat. These classes will introduce common recipes and ideas for healthy alternative dishes. The Leichtag Foundation, one of several event sponsors, will host a program for the event in which participants will select fresh ingredients straight from their organic farm in order to create fresh spreads for their challah. This hands-on program will also discuss Jewish traditions.

Thursday: Mega challah bake One of the highlights of Shabbat San Diego is the huge challah making class, which had 1,500 attendees last year. The class includes a hands-on workshop that teaches the variations of braiding this traditional bread and the significance it holds in ancient and contemporary tradition. This year’s Shabbat San Diego challah class has expanded to allow even more participants at two locations – one in North County (at the San Diego Jewish Academy) and one in East County (at Tifereth Israel Synagogue). Both classes will take place on Thursday, Oct. 22 before the official start of the Shabbat event. About 4,000 people are expected to attend the two workshops. Friday: Shabbat dinner The big idea for Shabbat San Diego is to connect unaffiliated Jews with their Jewish heritage. To facilitate this, Shabbat San Diego will pair participants with Shabbat dinners in their area. Guests may be placed in a private family home or with a larger meal at a synagogue or other community location. Following services at participating congregations throughout San Diego County on Friday, Oct. 23, organizers are expecting more than 150 community and privatelyhosted Shabbat dinners. These meals will begin traditionally with a lighting of candles and reciting the kiddush and other blessings above two loaves of challah. Hosts will be encouraged to utilize the tips and tricks they learned in the cooking classes for the Shabbat meals that follow.

Saturday: Unity Havdalah celebration In observance of Shabbat, participants are encouraged to read and discuss Torah, attend synagogue for prayer, spend time with family and friends and rest. To cap off this year’s festivities, there’s a special Havdalah ceremony on Saturday evening at the Town and Country Conference Center in Mission Valley. Shabbat San Diego organizers say this new venue is larger and more centrally located than last year’s venue (which had to cap at 1,900 guests) This year, the venue has space for up to 5,000, so everyone is invited. David D’Or, a world-renowned singer, songwriter and composer, will provide the entertainment after the Havdalah service. Come together with Shabbat San Diego Choose one or all of the community events to celebrate Shabbat in a new and exciting way this year. “Our unity is so vital in a time with antiSemitism so rife and by us sharing in Jewish life and ritual, our connectivity will be enhanced,” Robyn Lichter says. “It is unique and wonderful being part of this grassroots community organization with so many talented volunteers from so many backgrounds with incredible experiences. We encourage anyone interested in being involved to be in touch with us.” A You must register for each event you would like to attend, and space is filling up fast. Visit shabbatsandiego.org to read more about the events and to register for the ones that speak to you. Elul 5775 • Tishrei 5776 l SDJewishJournal.com 67

Ohr Shalom Synagogue invites you to a

Selichot Service Saturday, September 5, 8:00pm Selichot Service with the Ohr Shalom Choir. Changing of daily Torah Covers to the white festival Torah Covers in preparation for the High Holy Days. Dessert Reception to follow.

Best wishes for a sweet and healthy 5776! Scott Meltzer, Rabbi • Ray Sachs, President 2512 Third Avenue at Laurel • San Diego, CA 92103 619.231.1456 • office@ohrshalom.org • www.ohrshalom.org

68 SDJewishJournal.com l September 2015

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TRAVEL

Revisiting Jewish Prague

Part Two

Heading north, Judith Fein uncovers more buried Jewish history in Boskovice, Austerlitz and Mikulov BY JUDITH FEIN

or architecture buffs, a visit to the Tugendhat Villa while traveling in Prague is de rigeur. Designed by famed European architect Ludwig Mies van der Rohe, it is a spectacular Functionalist house, with many technical and design innovations, and it was built for the fabulously wealthy Jewish couple, Fritz and Grete Tugendhat. They lived there for seven and a half years before they had to escape to Venezuela because of World War II. Boskovice is 40 kilometers north of Brno (where we spent most of our time in Part One of this series, featured in the August issue of the SDJJ). The first written record of Jews living in Boskovice dates back to 1343. After Jews were thrown out of royal cities like Brno, they established a Jewish community in the northern city. At the turn of the l9th century, it housed a famous yeshiva and was a center of Talmudic studies. By the middle of that century, the 2,000 Jewish residents comprised one third of the population. Before the war, the Jewish quarter had 13 streets and 138 houses. A surprising 79 of those buildings have been preserved, and they include a former school, bathhouse, hospital, rabbinate, mikvah, ghetto

gate, fountain, and a Baroque synagogue with magnificent frescos and stained glass windows. This year marked the 23rd annual July festival in Boskovice, where proceeds go to saving and restoring the Jewish quarter. A local man who works in the synagogue information center told us that “when Jews were thrown out of royal cities, the castle owners in Boskovice were not so against them, and let them settle here. Most of the Jews actually came here around 1850. In 1942, 458 adults and children were deported to Terezin and then concentration camps in Poland. Only 14 survived.” A synagogue wall panel lists the 458 names. He pointed to a house on the temple street that dates back to the 1500s and still has the remnants of a mikvah in the basement. On the stairs we climbed down to reach it, people had left coins as offerings, presumably for good luck. In the surrounding streets, the former houses are repurposed as an antique shop, a restaurant, and private residences; they are painted vibrant colors like pink and tangerine. An evocative row of Jewish meat shops with double wooden doors is left intact. In front of one ochre-yellow house with Elul 5775 • Tishrei 5776 l SDJewishJournal.com 69

PHOTOS BY PAUL ROSS

Assistant Mayor of Mikulov, Marie Leskovjahova (center), honors the dead at an old Jewish cemetery; Street entrance to the former mikvah, Boskovice.

a conical tower-like structure, the Jews were rounded up for deportation. Today, Czech kids play there, and young parents walk by, wheeling baby carriages. On the outskirts of the town is a Jewish cemetery on two levels; a light wind blew through the weeds and grass and, as everywhere else in the town, there was the presence of Jewish ghosts. Austerlitz is famous for Napoleon’s 1805 battle, which directly and indirectly resulted in 30,000 deaths; it was a year before he crowned himself emperor. No Jews are left in Austerlitz today, but Vaclav Vitoul, the housekeeper of the tall, elegant, off-white and brick synagogue, acted as our impromptu guide. He said the original building dated to the l6th century, but

70 SDJewishJournal.com l September 2015

it was rebuilt, enlarged and renovated in the l8th and l9th centuries. A plaque dedicated to the 124 souls extinguished in the Holocaust tells a now sadly familiar story. Today, the synagogue is used by locals as a funeral chapel; the death theme did not seem inappropriate. “Where the torah used to be, I added a tree as decoration,” Vaclav explained. “It looks like the tree of life,” I commented to the respectful Gentile man. He showed us a few relics from the Jewish community. One was a small brass plate with an inscription saying that the man was the third to be called up to the torah. “Did you hear about the Holocaust growing up?” I asked him. He shook his head no, and said

that under Communist occupation no one talked about it except for his grandmother, who told him that Jews were rounded up at the train station and transported in horrible conditions in cattle cars. One of the highlights of the trip was Mikulov, an hour’s drive from Austerlitz; it’s a graceful, beautiful town with cobblestone streets, ivycovered houses, and a magnificent castle built into a limestone hill. Inhabited by Jews since 1369, it once had 12 functioning synagogues. Today Mikulov is one of the ten towns in the Czech Republic with a renovated Jewish quarter. An information plaque says that the Maharal of Prague, Rabbi Loew, was the chief rabbi of Moravia from 1553-1573, and Mikulov was the seat of the rabbinate. The old Jewish houses on Husova Street – that are now stores, restaurants and private residences – are identified with plaques on the exterior walls. Most of them had shops or artisan workshops on the ground floor and the upper floors served as living quarters – #30 was a Jewish merchant’s house, with a Renaissance core and vaulting; #32 was once a passageway from one street to another; #48, which has a lion over the doorway, was a Jewish boys’ school from 1645 to the l860s. During the Enlightenment, schooling was mandatory, starting at age 5. The small and charming Temple Hotel, where we stayed, once housed a long-gone shul. On a nearby street is the upper synagogue, the only remaining one. Inside, the sanctuary includes lush, salmon-andgold colored baroque columns and four cupolas. The building has graceful ornamentation, elegant

Walking along the cramped streets in Boskovice’s former Jewish Quarter.

The gold capped, pink marble columns of the Mikulov synagogue indicates the former community’s wealth; More lovingly-restored homes in the old Jewish Quarter.

arches, and an exhibit about Mikulov’s Jewish history in the upstairs women’s section. At the local Jewish cemetery, our guide was the town’s assistant mayor, Marie Leskovjahova. As a child, she saw a film about a man who had been in Auschwitz and had no one alive to say kaddish for him. It made a deep impression on her. In 1976 she was taken to Auschwitz and Terezin on a school trip, and was horrified and shocked. She learned more about Jews, and today is as knowledgeable as she is respectful. She explained that many Polish Jews came to Mikulov after a pogrom in 1748, and that the Jewish quarter’s most famous resident was Josef von Sonnenfels. He was a court adviser to the female ruler of the Hapsburgs, Maria Theresa, and, in 1776, he was instrumental in getting her to abolish torture. Marie’s cemetery tour included an exhibition of Jewish ritual and ceremonial artifacts, the opulent ceremonial hall where they prepared the bodies for burial, the garage that still houses an antique funeral carriage, and the lodging for the caretaker or gravedigger. And then we walked up a hill to the burial area, which has 4,328 stones. Marie said they are not sure about the actual number of burials, so that some people who want to be buried here cannot, because there may be bodies interred in empty spaces. The sensitivity of Marie to Jews is very moving. She says that every July, people of all nationalities make a festival in Mikulov, and they cook their special dishes. She makes Jewish food. Her daughter studies Hebrew. As we walk through the cemetery she honors all the headstones – rich ones and poor ones; stones that crumble; black,

He showed us a few relics from the Jewish community. One was a small brass plate with an inscription saying that the man was the third to be called up to the torah.

shiny headstones; legible and illegible ones; decorated or plain; with text and with symbols. The oldest are made from limestone, but the 19th and 20th centuries saw the advent of granite. The earliest legible stone dates to 1605. Marie takes us to a special section reserved for rabbis, which contains a metal box with candles to light at their tombs. She tells us about Chassids who won’t enter the cemetery; they stand outside and look through grating and a window, so they can pray to the rabbis. Marie says she is drawn not to religion, but to individual Jews. “It is unbelievable they are not here any more.” As we talk, I become more and more fascinated by Marie. Her father, who is 85, is not happy about Marie’s dedication to Jewish things. He is afraid she will have problems. But Marie said she is proud of her connection, and she confides that a rabbi from Bratislava came to the cemetery and offered to convert her. “Maybe it will happen one day so I can be buried here,” she said. A

If You Go: Aria hotel in Prague: a 5-star, romantic, wonderfullylocated music-themed hotel. It’s a symphony for the senses: ariahotel.net/default-en.html Hotel Royal Ricc in Brno, charming, comfortable, clean, very well located near the historic city center: royalricc.cz/en/ Guided tours of the mikulov cemetery: info@ ckmerlin.cz or +420 519 512 368. Juidith Fein is an award-winning travel journalist, author, speaker, blogger, and workshop leader. With her photojournalist husband Paul Ross, she sometimes takes people on culture-immersive exotic trips: GlobalAdventure.us.

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EDUCATION

Stuck in the Middle with You Lots of programs bring San Diego teens to Israel, but only one brings young locals together with Israelis and Arabs their same age and encourages them to talk about big issues. Here, one teenager shares his JITLI experience and the founders offer their reasoning behind the program.

“I

’ve been hearing about the conflict, obviously, pretty much all my life,” says Gabriel Bloch, a 17 year-old who goes to a public high school now after attending the San Diego Jewish Academy for k-8th grade. That change opened Gabriel up to a wide range of opinions on the State of Israel and the Jews who run it. “A lot of my friends who I never knew were paying attention to the conflict in Israel were actually kind of involved in it. They have very extreme perspectives. Some of them are very proIsrael, some of them are very anti-Israel. ... I’ve always had only a one-sided view.” Conversations grew louder amongst his peer group during last summer’s month-long battle between Israel and Hamas, especially when it became clear that many civilians were caught in the crossfire. “Seeing the anti-Israel perspective was very interesting for me,” Gabriel says diplomatically. “I always wanted to see [the conflict in Israel] first-hand and not be spoon-fed information... just kind of get in there and talk to both sides and really make my own mind up on what’s happening there.” By midway through his high school career at North County’s Canyon Crest Academy, two of Gabriel’s friends had gained that first-hand experience in Israel with the Gary and Jerri-Ann Jacobs International Teen Leadership Institute (JITLI). From what they said of their experience with the year-long program (which culminates in a trip to Israel for American Jews, Israeli Jews and Israeli Arabs), it seemed to address some of the

Gabriel Bloch (center) gets to know five JITLI participants from Segev Shalom, an Arab town in Israel, on his recent trip.

PHOTOS BY YIGAL BEN-ADERET

BY NATALIE JACOBS

new questions which, up to that point, Gabriel had been stuck asking himself. JITLI was created by the Qualcomm heirs in 2000 in conjunction with the San Diego Jewish Federation. It started as a business proposition. Jewish donors in San Diego were concerned that the money they gave to Federation was sent from San Diego to the national organization that then passed the donations along to various agencies in Israel that finally spent the money on projects of their choosing. Donors here wanted a “closer connection to Israel,” Gary Jacobs, who is managing director of Jacobs

Investment Company, says. In Federation fashion, a delegation was sent to Israel to explore the options. From a helicopter ride atop the country, the group saw Shar HaNegev, a small and struggling Israeli border town with a few kibbutzim running along the fence between them and Gaza. “This is 1999, 2000,” Gary says, “Camp David is about to happen. Peace, in theory, is around the corner. So our idea was to get all the teenagers in the area together so that when the fences came down they’d want to go to each other’s homes and interact with each other.” Elul 5775 • Tishrei 5776 l SDJewishJournal.com 73

The theme of the trip, was “mix” says Gabriel Bloch. On their 16 days together, Arab, Israeli and American teens discussed everything from technology to religion.

Of course, peace didn’t happen and the fence still stands, but so does the program that the Jacobses and their Federation fellows devised. In the 15 years since it began, JITLI has gone through many logistical permutations but the basic idea is the same – get young people, neighbors who otherwise have little to no interaction with each other, together in a safe place that encourages debate and the open exchange of ideas. And then throw Americans into the mix in hopes of creating a more wellrounded connection to Israel for diaspora Jews. The first three JITLI groups included 10 American Jewish teens, all juniors in high school, 10 Israeli Jewish teens, 10 Bedouin participants, and 10 Palestinian teenagers from Gaza. In 2004, Hamas took over Gaza and the program hasn’t been able to have those teenagers involved since. But, Jerri-Ann says, some of the Arab participants who live in Israel consider themselves Palestinian, who, in some cases, come on the trip to “validate their hatred of Jews.” “But once they’ve been on [the trip] and they start to interact, you can see the change happening,” Gary says. In San Diego, the application process involves a written submission and an interview with JerriAnn and a panel of program alumni. “We’re looking for the leader that can influence their peers. We want this to be viral, in their terminology,” Gary says with a laugh. “The Americans are still in San Diego so they can spread the word to their friends,” Jerri-Ann says, explaining how they decided to open the program only to juniors in high school. “The Bedouins still have another year of school and they can tell their friends what they did this summer. They’re also not so young so they can understand a little bit more, but not too old where they’re already set in their ways.” “They’re old enough to understand the issues and young enough that the adults haven’t completely corrupted them,” Gary adds. When we speak two months before he departs for Israel, Gabriel Bloch explains the line he’s walking along as a Jewish teenager in a secular school with a variety of friend groups and family members with a host of opinions. “I don’t have any specific perspective on it right now,” he says. “I’ve been told things, but I 74 SDJewishJournal.com l September 2015

haven’t really seen it first hand so, I dunno. That’s the whole reason why I want to go. I am kind of expecting to come back with definitely very different ideas than what I’ve thought of here.” Maybe it’s the jetlag, but when we speak four days after he’s returned from the trip, Gabriel’s voice sounds different, lacking the youthfully enthusiastic lilt it had before the trip. He’s pensive, still digesting the trip and he chooses his words like a young politican might, carefully but with sincerity. “My experience was very...different...I think,” he says. “For me, it wasn’t just about the connections I made with other people there, it was also about how I as a person grew and how my inner-self changed while I was there.” Gabriel has family in Israel, so he’s been many times. But he says his Israeli family-members are “super-patriotic Israelis” so they painted a very specific picture of who and what Arabs are. On the JITLI trip, Gabriel co-habitated with real Arabs for 16 days. “To go in and to see what is actually happening first hand with my own eyes and be amongst it was really cool because I didn’t have to listen to anyone, I just had to look and listen and I could shape my own opinion based on what I was experiencing and not through the filter of other people.” Both Gary and Jerri-Ann are realistic about the impact of the JITLI program, but idealism manages to creep into our conversation once or twice. “In my view, I believe more in opening up communication between neighbors who don’t usually meet each other. Which will hopefully have an end result of...I’m not going to use the word peace because that’s not...” “Well,” Gary chimes in as Jerri-Ann stops herself short of an elaborate tangent, “this is also a long-term investment because they’re juniors in high school. As we tell them, horny teenagers are not going to solve world peace in two weeks or three weeks. The idea is, let’s create these connections, let’s get them to understand each other’s stories so as they grow into a leadership role, they’ll have a different perspective on what’s going on.” “I could talk a bunch about how I think a lot of things are messed up in Israel,” Gabriel says

during our post-trip talk. “Obviously everyone knows a lot of things are messed up in Israel. But what I want to talk about more is how Israel is affecting the lives of its citizens. That’s what really matters. It’s not Israel, it’s the people. That’s what I got on the trip, I got to experience the people. I got to talk to a diverse group of people – extremists, kind of, on both sides.” The first days of the trip are spent on icebreakers and getting-to-know-you activities meant to help the kids remember that they’re kids and although they live on opposite sides of the world, or a fence, with different traditions and years of conflict that stand between them, they actually have a lot in common. As the trip travels from the north into Jerusalem, the topics heat up and the kids, who have arrvied at some common ground with each other, start to get into the details of what separates them. Namely for Gabriel’s group, religion. “There was a lot of tension there because half the group was Islamic and they are very strict about their religion,” Gabriel says. “One of the kids, which surprised me, said he would die for the Quran. It’s just insane because I don’t think any one of the Jews would have died for their religion on the trip.” Gabriel considered most of the American Jews secular, the Israeli Jews slightly more religious, and the Bedouins “religiously religious,” as he put it. “But my ideas about my religion were not changed,” he says. “I was not pushed or persuaded in any way to think differently about Judaism. Definitely my perceptions of Islam changed a lot. I didn’t know anything about the religion before and everyone always said terrorists and these things. You hear so much that it becomes truth and then you’re there and they’re such peaceful, loving and caring people and you’re like where did this go wrong? Where did this information go wrong coming to me?” When we spoke, Gabriel had already begun preparing to for next year’s JITLI program, where he’ll serve as a counselor. A To learn more about the JITLI program, visit jitli.org.

As you and your loved ones gather around the Holiday table, please remember San Diego families in need.

To a Sweet, Happy, and Prosperous New Year!

‫שנה טובה‬

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Elul 5775 • Tishrei 5776 l SDJewishJournal.com 75

THEATER

How to Make an Impact On and Off the Stage A multi-tasking wunderkind teaches teens to battle bullying BY PAT LAUNER

o, what were you doing in high school? Jacob Gardenswartz was busy starting a theater company and winning a President’s Volunteer Service Award and a Diller Teen Tikkun Olam Award (one of 15 recipients nationwide). The $36,000 award was applicable to any project, and he spent most of it on Impact, the anti-bullying organization he founded. At the same time, he was on the surf team, served as managing editor of his school magazine and president of the school chapter of Young Democrats. He had an internship with the San Diego Union-Tribune and published short fiction in San Diego CityBeat. He also won grants from Chelsey’s Light Foundation and Abercrombie & Fitch. And he attended the Anti-Defamation League’s Manhigim Institute, a Jewish leadership program for high school students which teaches how to combat anti-Semitism and fight all forms of bigotry. “I’m definitely someone who tries to fill up my time,” admits Gardenswartz, now 19. “I’m much more efficient if I have a lot scheduled.” The talented and articulate powerhouse spent this past summer working full-time on Impact. It all began in middle school, when he was involved with an organization that used theater to educate students about bullying. When the organization 76 SDJewishJournal.com l September 2015

(Teen Connection) lost its funding, Jacob and the founder, Sharla Mandere, pursued the concept with Theatre of Peace; Jacob was its student director throughout his high school years. “I was content going off to college and letting the shows continue without me. While I was applying for college, I also applied for a bunch of scholarships, and much to my surprise, I won a lot of them. Francis Parker has a great scholarship database,” he adds, ceding credit to his alma mater. Those scholarships, put him in touch with “people in the nonprofit sphere. They said my project really had potential. I never intended to start a nonprofit, but with all this encouragement, I decided to keep it going. “With two other incredibly dedicated students, Alexis Newman and Larissa Garcia, we decided to move forward. The week of my high school graduation, we filed for 501(c)3 status, with the help of a lawyer at my father’s firm.” For Jacob, Impact was “the perfect combination of theater and service, my two main areas of interest.” Theater + service Impact’s mission is to promote social change through the use of live theater. The program is

Jacob Gardenswartz

by students, for students, and the focus is broad. “We have about 25 scenarios, from cyberbullying to issues of discrimination based on race, religion, sexual orientation, athletic capability or disability.” Jacob describes the in-school programs as “interactive and in-your-face. Students are asked to participate. All the actors are roughly the same age as the students they’re performing for. Students can connect better to a peer and a small-group interactive scenario than to a police officer or psychologist talking about bullying in an auditorium.” The Chronicle of Philanthropy praised Impact as “Gen Z-ers who are making a difference.”

Jacob and his Impact team teach anti-bullying tactics at schools around the county.

Here’s how the program works: The team presents 8-10 four or five-minute scenes, each set in a different location (“We lead students around their campus, no more than 30 students participating at a time”). “Every performance is different,” Gardenswartz says. Each presentation is tailored to the particular school’s needs. “A lot of research went into the program,” Gardenswartz, whose mother, a teacher, is Impact’s Director of Educational Programming, asserts. The primary goals are to raise awareness of what constitutes bullying and to make students feel more comfortable and confident in standing up for themselves and others. “With the mini-attention span of most kids, we knew it had to be kinesthetic education. People are more likely to retain information if they’re moving while learning. So nobody sits down during our performances. They move from scene to scene. If someone’s on a cellphone during a performance, we call them out. We’re forcing them to be in the moment.” Early in the summer, I attended an educators’ preview event for school principals, counselors and teachers. Impact’s Title I grant is targeted for 20 schools this year. (The school cost ranges from $900 to $1,300, depending on the number of students involved). Impact collaborated with local videographer Christopher Short to create a video tackling the important issue of cyberbullying that will be shown during all upcoming school programs.

A proprietary curriculum is provided to each school before and after the presentation. The first program component is “purely awareness,” Gardenswartz says. “Sometimes kids say things they don’t even know are offensive.” The pre-program material specifies, among other things, the appropriate language to use in discussing these issues. “We prefer the term ‘target’ to ‘victim.’ In cases of bullying, the majority of people are ‘bystanders.’ Our program aims to turn ‘bystanders’ into ‘upstanders.’ There was a big study showing that the majority of students say the best way to combat bullying is for peers to step in and say, ‘That’s not okay.’ “We know we’re not going to eradicate bullying,” he concedes. “But if we make people more likely to stand up, we can reduce bullying a bit. Beyond school, we know that bullies have a high incarceration rate. If someone only hears negative, aggressive communication at home, that’s what he or she will learn.” The Impact program shortcuts their three-step instructional method using the acronym ICE: Interrupt Bullying. Compliment the Target. Escape. Pre-and post-program surveys will help determine how much bullying is seen by students and how comfortable they feel stepping in. “Our end-goal is to create a culture of kindness, compassion and diversity,” Gardenswartz says. All the scenes are created by the entire Impact company, an ethnically diverse team aged 13-22.

They even have one bilingual English/Spanish scene, about “the conflict between Spanish-only speakers and other students.” Jacob facilitates and leads, and writes the final draft. Then he directs, and often performs. One of his corporate grantors, Abercrombie & Fitch, strongly encouraged him to take a year off from college to devote himself to Impact fulltime. “For about a week, I considered it,” he says. “My parents and advisors said they would support my decision.” But, true to multi-tasking form, Jacob plans to devote himself to both pursuits while he and his co-founders are away at school. In the interim, Impact has hired a program manager, Jessica Isaac, to assume some leadership responsibilities. Back to school This month, Gardenswartz returns to the University of Pennsylvania for his sophomore year, where he’s majoring in communication and public service. He hopes to be accepted into a dual-degree program, to simultaneously earn a BA and MPA (Master of Public Administration, “the nonprofit equivalent of an MBA”). Most of his peers took four-five classes last year; Gardenswartz took seven. “Caffeine is my friend,” he says. “Sleep is not.” His major field, he explains, “is all about communication for governments and nonprofits. I love writing, and I love politics. Last year, while I was working for Tom Wolf ’s gubernatorial Elul 5775 • Tishrei 5776 l SDJewishJournal.com 77

campaign – one of the few Democrats who won! – I got to meet President Obama, when he was speaking at Temple University. He is an amazing orator. I have his signature on the letter from the President’s Volunteer Service Award I won in high school.” The 19-year-old also “did a couple of internships in Philadelphia last year,” and he’s hoping to spend some intern time in Washington, D.C. next summer. He’s still “involved in a million things,” including the Penn Democratic Club and the school’s Lambda Alliance, for which he serves as Vice Chair and Communications Director (he came out in 8th grade, and has found “very supportive communities” at both Parker School and Penn). He admits to having felt bullied before he came out, but it “never was a huge issue,” he says, and “being on the surf team helped.” Jacob and Judaism Jacob is a native San Diegan. His family has a long-time commitment to Congregation Beth El, where he had his Bar Mitzvah. He first attended the San Diego Jewish Academy (his mother taught there); then, for grades 6-12, he transferred to Francis Parker. “We’re Conservative,” he says of his family’s religious orientation. “But I learned with devout, Orthodox people. Because of that, I was able to make informed decisions about how I want to lead my life.” 78 SDJewishJournal.com l September 2015

His family kept kosher, and he says “Kashrut for us is a way to remember, to feel involved with the community.” At Penn, he’s a member of Hillel, where he attends Shabbat dinners and High Holiday services. As Passover is his favorite holiday, he posted his own “cut-and-paste online haggadah” last year. “A very 21st century seder,” he says. “I told people to bring their iPads if they wanted to participate.” He even cooked part of the meal; that seder was among his favorite memories of the year. It wasn’t his first seder-leading experience; during 8th grade, he conducted a seder when he was studying in Spain. “I love Passover because it’s all about imparting your own story,” he says. High drama Passover, politics, social change and storytelling aren’t Jacob’s only lifelong passions. He was bitten by the theater bug very early on, appearing in a J*Company production of “Once Upon a Mattress” when he was 5. But dance was his real entrée to the performing arts. “I was dancing ever since I could walk,” he says. He continues classes in tap and jazz whenever he’s in San Diego. He performed with several youth theater companies, as well as professional theaters such as Moonlight Stage Productions and Scripps Ranch Theatre, and he participated in The Old Globe’s summer conservatory. The summer after 7th grade, he toured the East coast with the San

"We're Conservative," he says of his family's religious orientation. "But I learned with devout, Orthodox people. Because of that, I was able to make informed decisions about how I want to lead my life." Diego Repertory Theatre’s “Blessings of a Broken Heart,” directed by Todd Salovey. Last year, at Penn, he had a leading role in Wendy Wasserstein’s “The Heidi Chronicles.” He also participated in “Mask & Wig,” the oldest all-male musical comedy theater troupe in the country, for which he wrote an original script. Jacob’s long-range plan is to expand Impact into other cities. But this year, the focus is local, extending to colleges and workplaces. “We’re at an amazing place right now with Impact,” he says. “The journey has been jumping from rock to rock, and stepping back from wobbly ones before hopping onto another. We just keep on hopping down the river and see what happens.” A

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Elul 5775 • Tishrei 5776 l SDJewishJournal.com 79

UPCOMING EVENTS FOR 2015

Spring 2016 80 SDJewishJournal.com l September 2015

FOOD

in the kitchen WITH

TORI AVEY

VEGETARIAN STUFFED GRAPE LEAVES

Tori Avey is an awardwinning food writer, recipe developer, and the creator of the popular cooking website toriavey.com.

hile not as widely known or celebrated as some other Jewish holidays, Sukkot is a very important part of the Jewish experience. Historically, many important events have occurred during Sukkot, including King Solomon’s dedication of the First Temple of Jerusalem. It’s a harvest holiday, which means that the foods served are seasonal in nature. The Sukkot menu generally features vegetables and fruits that are harvested at the turn of the season. As a food lover, this holiday is one of my favorites because we are encouraged to create a feast centered on the seasonal foods of the autumn harvest. Does this all sound a little familiar? You might have noticed that the Sukkot holiday resembles the American tradition of Thanksgiving. Believe it or not, the similarities between Sukkot and Thanksgiving actually have a historical frame of reference. Before coming to the New World, the Pilgrims lived for a short time among Sephardic Jews in Holland. In fact,

our American Thanksgiving tradition may have been indirectly inspired by the Jewish holiday of Sukkot. Both the Pilgrims and the Jews were victims of religious persecution. The Sephardic Jews were expelled from Spain in 1492; they scattered and eventually settled in different parts of Europe and the Middle East. A small group of Jews made Holland their home. The Pilgrims escaped England in 1608 to avoid increasing intolerance towards their Separatist views. Both the Jews and the Pilgrims settled in Holland because of the country’s reputation for religious tolerance. The Pilgrims only spent a decade in Holland before leaving for the New World (America), but they were certainly there long enough to interact with the local Jewish population; the Pilgrims also would have witnessed Sukkot celebrations while living among the Sephardic Jews of Holland. This possible tie between Thanksgiving and Sukkot can be seen on many symbolic levels. While harvest

She writes about food history for PBS Food and Parade. com. Follow Tori on Facebook by searching for “Tori Avey” and on Twitter: @toriavey.

Elul 5775 • Tishrei 5776 l SDJewishJournal.com 81

PHOTOS BY TORI AVEY

an authority on the subject. He told me that it’s a lot easier than it seems – all you really need is a little time and patience. Want to try stuffing your own grape leaves for Sukkot? I’ve laid out a clear step-by-step tutorial for you here. Stuffed foods, like my Vegetarian Stuffed Grape Leaves, are symbolic for Sukkot – they signify a bountiful harvest. Ingredients ½ cup pine nuts 1 ½ cups long grain white rice 1 medium onion, minced ½ cup fresh minced dill ¼ cup fresh minced mint 6 tbsp freshly squeezed lemon juice, divided 1 tbsp lemon zest 1 ¾ cups vegetable broth (a yellow broth is best), divided 50 large grape leaves (fresh or jarred) Salt and pepper ½ cup extra virgin olive oil Fresh mint leaves, lemon slices, and olives (for garnish - optional)

festivals were not unique during that time period, there are some particular aspects of Thanksgiving that seem at least loosely connected to Sukkot, starting with the first Thanksgiving meal in 1621 which is said to have been eaten out-of-doors, which would correspond to the Sukkot tradition of dining outside in the sukkah. Because Sukkot foods are inspired by the bounty of the harvest and the Seven Species in the Torah, there are lots of apples, squash, eggplants, figs, grapes, and – you guessed it – grape leaves! Stuffing grape leaves used to intimidate to me. It seemed like such a complicated, fussy process. I sought advice from a friend of ours named Tony. He owns a Greek restaurant, and I consider him 82 SDJewishJournal.com l September 2015

You will also need: a medium pot, a sauté pan with high sides, a large pot, a plate. Pour the pine nuts into a skillet and lightly toast them over medium heat till golden brown. Reserve. Pour ¼ cup of olive oil into a medium pot and heat it over medium. Add minced onion to the pot and sauté until soft. Add the rice to the pot and stir to combine. Sauté for another minute. Pour in ¾ cup vegetable broth and lower the heat; simmer the rice uncovered for about 10 minutes till the liquid is absorbed and the rice is half cooked. Do not cook the rice fully, or you’ll end up with mushy grape leaves! Just cook it to an al dente texture. Remove pot from heat. Add the minced dill, mint, toasted pine nuts, 2 tbsp fresh lemon juice and lemon zest to the pot of rice. Stir till all ingredients are well combined. Season with salt and pepper to taste. Let the mixture cool to room temperature. Fill a large pot with salted water and bring to

IKWTA

a boil. As the water is heating, trim the leaves by cutting the stems off, flush with the leaves. Trim any large, hard veins from the leaves. Place the leaves in the boiling water and let them soften for 3-5 minutes till they become pliable (fresh leaves may take a bit longer to soften than jarred). Drain, then cover the leaves with cold water. Drain the leaves again and pat them dry. Place a grape leaf shiny (smooth) side down, vein (bumpy) side up, on a flat surface like a cutting board. Place 2 tbsp of rice filling at the base end of the leaf, near where the stem was. Fold the stem end up over the filling. Fold the edges of the leaf inward. Continue rolling the leaf till it forms a neat rolled package (cigar-style). Do not roll too tightly; the rice will expand a little during cooking, and if you roll it too tightly the leaf will unravel as it cooks. Squeeze the roll gently to seal. Repeat the process with the remaining leaves until all of the filling is gone. Place the stuffed leaves in the bottom of the sauté pan. Don’t be afraid to pack the leaves snugly; this will help keep the leaves intact as they cook. Make a single layer on the bottom of the pan. When you run out of room, make a second layer on top. Pour 1 cup of broth, ¼ cup of extra virgin olive oil, and ¼ cup of fresh lemon juice over the stuffed grape leaves. Heat the pan over medium until it begins to simmer (don’t boil, or the leaves will start to fall apart). Turn heat to low, so the leaves are slowly simmering, and place an inverted heat-safe plate on top of the stuffed grape leaves to weigh them down and keep them secure as they cook. Cover the pot. Let the grape leaves cook for 30-40 minutes. The leaves are finished cooking when they are fork-tender. Stuffed grape leaves can be served warm or cold, as-is or topped with a variety of sauces. I like serving them with fresh tzatziki or tahini sauce – recipes for both can be found on my blog. Store them in the refrigerator; they will keep for about 1 week. A

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Rudish Challahs • Plain • Raisin Honey Cake Sponge Cake Assorted Babkas Marble Cake Rugelach Danish Noodle or Potato Kugels Strudel Assorted Cookies Matzo Balls Chopped Liver Sliced Brisket

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TRADITIONAL ROSH HASHANAH DINNER You are invited to D.Z. Akin's for a traditional dinner served for Rosh Hashanah on Sunday, September 13 & Monday, September 14, from 4:00-9:00p.m. Appetizers: • Chopped Liver OR Gefilte Fish • Challah Soup: • Matzo Ball OR Kreplach

Main Course: • Brisket of Beef OR Roasted Half Chicken • Stuffed Cabbage Roll • Noodle Kugel AND Sweet Carrot Tzimmes Dessert: Honey OR Sponge Cake

$21.95 Per Person, $12.95 Children 12 & Under

Reservations Preferred

We wish You & Yours a Sweet, Prosperous & Healthy New Year. - The Akin Family & Staff

619.265.0218 • www.dzakinsdeli.com fax: 619.265.8186

6930 Alvarado Road, San Diego Sun.-Thurs. 7a.m. - 9 p.m. • Fri.-Sat. 7 a.m - 10 p.m. Serving Rosh Hashanah Dinners: Sun., Sept. 13 & Mon., Sept. 14 from 4:00-9:00pm YOM KIPPUR EVE HOURS, SEPT 22 - Dining Room: 7am-3pm; Deli/Bakery: 7am-4:30pm; YOM KIPPUR: CLOSED WEDNESDAY, SEPT 23

Elul 5775 • Tishrei 5776 l SDJewishJournal.com 83

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Spiritual Second Day Adventures New Ways to Experience Tuesday Choose from a Variety of Experiences: Sept. 15, 2015 and Celebrate Rosh Hashanah OPEN TO THE COMMUNITY CHOOSE FROM A VARIETY OF EXPERIENCES * • Traditional Rosh Hashanah Services • Rosh Hashanah Hike • Text Study • Chai 20S & 30S: Trail Conversation

• Young Family: Journey Through A Jewish Year • Teen: It’s A Mitzvah • Jewish Meditation

*No Tickets Needed But Registration Required

For more information or to register go to www.cbe.org or call 858-452-1734 84 SDJewishJournal.com l September 2015

ALSO OPEN TO THE COMMUNITY Join us for Tashlich, September 14, 5:00 pm Kellogg Park, La Jolla Shores

Alternative Kol Nidre Service September 22, 8:45pm, Beth El

8660 Gilman Drive La Jolla, CA 92037

' ? what’s ' ? ?? goin on???’ Falling For It

PHOTO BY MATTHEW MURPHY

BY EILEEN SONDAK

The La Jolla Playhouse continues with its world premiere "Up Here" through Sept. 6. his month marks the unofficial start of the fall season for local “Up Here,” a musical comedy about an introverted computer repairman theaters, even though many summer-only stages are still going ensconced at the Mandell Weiss Theatre through Sept. 6. Following on its strong. The Old Globe is ready to launch the world premiere of heels is another world premiere for the Playhouse: “Blue Prints to Freedom: a new musical and a one-woman show, while the troupe’s outdoor stage An Ode to Bayard Rustin.” This portrait of redemption (set in the racial continues to showcase its Shakespeare Festival. The San Diego Opera kicks turbulence of 1963) is La Jolla-bound Sept. 8-Oct. 4. On Sept. 29, the off its season with a recital at the Balboa. North Coast Rep will bring “The Playhouse will feature a new multimedia “Without Walls” production. Fox on the Fairway” to its Solana Beach home. San Diego Musical Theatre “Healing Wars” will provoke audiences through Oct. 25. will fill the Spreckels with the sounds of “La Cage aux Folles.” The La Jolla The Old Globe’s Shakespeare Festival is making merry with “The Playhouse will introduce audiences to “Blue Prints of Freedom.” Cygnet will Comedy of Errors” through Sept. 20. This hilarious tale of mistaken present another pair of plays in rotating repertory. The list goes on and on! identity is always a crowd-pleaser and Broadway veteran Scott Ellis (in his Even the San Diego Museum of Art is getting into the act with a music- Old Globe directing debut) pounces on every opportunity for unbridled focused exhibition that integrates music and art. mischief in this complex comedy. The La Jolla Playhouse continues to show off the world premiere of The Old Globe’s Main Stage production is a world-premiere “dance-

Elul 5775 • Tishrei 5776 l SDJewishJournal.com 85

theater musical.” Titled “In Your Arms,” this new work uses a series of stories by the likes of Christopher Durang, Alfred Uhry, Marsha Norman, David Henry Hwang, and other master storytellers, and weaves them against a mosaic of music and dance. The show is headed for the Globe’s Main Stage Sept. 16-Oct. 25, and it sounds like a must-see. The White Theatre will be active as well, when “Full Gallop” trots into the Globe’s theater-inthe-round space Sept. 26. This one-woman tour de force deals with the larger-than-life doyenne of American taste, Diana Vreeland, who changed the way Americans experience clothing, art, and life. You can catch this fascinating show until Oct. 25. The San Diego Opera season gets off to an early start on Sept. 19, when tenor Rene Barbera makes a welcome return for a recital at the Balboa Theater. Barbera has earned several awards and was a favorite with local audiences at the company’s 50th anniversary celebration concert. Cygnet is featuring two sides of the great Noel Coward in its “Coward x2” rotating repertory shows. “Hay Fever” – an amusing and effervescent mix of flirtation and artistic eccentricities – starts the ball rolling Sept. 23. “The Vortex,” Cowards dark and shocking drama will take up residency at the Old Town Theatre on Sept. 24. The two plays will alternate through Nov. 8 with Rosina Reynolds starring in both. It’s been too long since Coward’s work was performed here in San Diego! The Lamb’s has humor on its mind with “The Nerd,” one of the troupe’s most successful comedies. The show focuses on a staid architect who suddenly finds his life uproariously upended by the appearance of his old army buddy. David Heath returns to the fold to reprise that unforgettable character. The show will keep audiences rolling in the aisles through Sept. 20. The Lamb’s Horton Grand venue is reviving the popular “Mixtape,” – ’80s-based musical revue 86 SDJewishJournal.com l September 2015

slated to run through Oct. 4. North Coast Rep will unveil “The Fox on the Fairway” Sept. 9, for a month-long run that promises to make audiences “laugh themselves silly.” You have until Oct. 4 to enjoy the one. Matthew Wiener will direct the sly comedy. San Diego Rep kicked off its 40th season with “Violet,” a modern fairy tale featuring a musical melange of folk, blues, and honky-tonk rock anthems of the 1960s American South. “Violet” – which snared the Drama Critics Circle Award for Best Musical – will be ensconced at the Lyceum through Sept. 13. San Diego Musical Theatre will bring “La Cage aux Folles” to the Spreckels Theatre Sept. 25Oct. 11. The amusing antics take place in a gay nightclub, where drag queen Zaza masquerades as “normal” for the sake of the boy she raised with long-time partner Georges. Pandemonium ensues when the boy’s fiancée and her straightlaced family arrive, but all’s well that ends well in this laugh-filled musical comedy. Moonlight’s final outdoor show this year will be the San Diego premiere of “Big Fish.” You may remember the book and Tim Burton film on which the musical comedy is based. “Big Fish,” which focuses on the tall tales a father tells his son, will take over the Moonlight Bowl Sept. 9-26. The Museum of Contemporary Art is ready to pack up “Sarah Cain: Blue in Your Body, Red in the Air,” and “Dear Nemesis, Nicole Eisenman” (1993-2013). Both shows close Sept. 6. Beginning Sept. 26, you will have a rare opportunity to see contemporary art from private local collections. These artworks will remain on view through Jan. 10, 2016. Also arriving in La Jolla on Sept. 26 is “One Cannot Look: Graphic Wars,” an exhibition that features Goya’s seminal prints and other items from USD and the MCA collection. The show will stay on through Nov. 29. Continuing in the

downtown facility through Nov. 1 is a work by Anya Gallaccio, and “Pond Lily Over Mushroom Cloud,” an exhibition exploring Byron Kim’s ideas on politics, cultural identity, and race. “John Spreckels: The Impossible Railroad,” which celebrates the centennial of Balboa Park’s 1915 Exposition, will be ensconced downtown through Nov.1 as well. The San Diego Museum of Art is focusing on a New York icon with its newest exhibition: “Coney Island: Visions of an American Dreamland (1861 - 2008).” This is the first major museum show to explore the legendary playground through the prism of art – and it is very impressive in its scope. You can see “Coney Island” until Oct. 13. Arriving on Sept. 26 is a multi-sensory, culturally diverse exhibition on the intersection of art and music, featuring works by Picasso, Dalí, and Matisse, and music by Beethoven and others. The show will stay put through Jan. 5, 2016. Mingei will open a new exhibition celebrating folk art from coast to coast on Sept. 19. “Made in America: Craft Icons of the 50 States” includes jewelry, pottery, baskets, and textiles, and will be on display through Feb. 21 of next year. “Procession,” a fantastical work that displays a parade of 130 figures, will remain on view throughout the year. The exhibit is part of Mingei’s expanded Doll and Toy Gallery. A display of American Folk Art Walking Sticks will continue at the museum through Jan. 10, 2016. The San Diego History Center is still running “Ingenius! The World of Dr. Seuss.” This show, featuring the art of Theodor Geisel, will be on view throughout 2015. The History Center is showcasing “Presidio to Pacific Powerhouse: How the Military Shaped San Diego.” It will be on display throughout the year as well. “Placed Promises” is a permanent exhibition chronicling the history of the San Diego region. A

PHOTO COURTESY MOONLIGHT STAGE PRODUCTIONS

Moonlight Stage launches its final show of the year – "Big Fish" will play on the outdoor stage Sept. 9-26.

SD OPERA 2015–2016 SEASON

TOSCA

Giacomo Puccini

February 13, 16, 19, 21, 2016

MADAMA BUTTERFLY Giacomo Puccini

April 16, 19, 22, 24, 2016

GREAT SCOTT West Coast Premiere

Music by Jake Heggie Libretto by Terrence McNally

May 7, 10, 13, 15, 2016

SP E CIAL EVENTS The Polly Puterbaugh Emerging Artist Award Recital

RENÉ BARBERA IN CONCERT with Cheryl Cellon Lindquist, pianist September 19, 2015

PATRICIA RACETTE: DIVA ON DETOUR November 14, 2015

FERRUCCIO FURLANETTO IN CONCERT March 5, 2016

Amazing Operas – Affordable Prices 3 operas for as low as $105

SUBSCRIBE TODAY! sdopera.com | (619) 533-7000 Photos: Kingmond Young

Elul 5775 • Tishrei 5776 l SDJewishJournal.com 87

business

WANT A BETTER LIFE? GET A COACH Details on the empowered life and the growth of an industry BY Tina B. Eshel

f I asked you to pause for a moment and empty your mind of all thoughts, you would likely find this very difficult. The average person has hundreds of thoughts flying through his or her mind at any given moment. The unquiet mind is what has brought rise to “mindfulness,” the omnipresent word that encourages people to be present, thoughtful and cognizant of only this exact moment. The idea is that with mindfulness comes changes in descrutive habits of neverending thought loops that keep our minds spinning. Coaching can help, but what exactly does a coach do and how does it differ from therapy? Suppose you want to run a marathon. If you went to a therapist, she might say, “let’s discuss your experiences with running. Why do you want to run? What does running mean to you?” A coach, on the other hand, is more likely to say, “What’s your goal? I’ll help you achieve that goal so you can have your best possible run.” Lisa Sawicki is a life coach who specializes in what she calls Self Coaching. The idea for Self Coaching came from a professional “ah-ha” moment. “I realized that in my coaching practice, that all of us are coaching ourselves, one thought at a time, 16 hours a day. Framing our reactions, living with our feelings, shifting our feelings, 16 hours a day.” As important as regular sessions with a coach can be, the time in between sessions is where new habits are either formed or forgotten. 88 SDJewishJournal.com l September 2015

“Unless I teach people how to daily self coach, when I’m not there, to help them through challenging emotions, decisions and actions, [they will not be able to make progress]. I knew I wanted to teach each client when I speak to be aware that they are coaching themselves.” What does it mean to self coach? “It means first of all that you listen to yourself,” Sawicki says. “Listen to your self talk. From the moment we are up, our minds are talking to us. We listen to ourselves and we direct our day, our emotions, what we do and don’t do…we decide. We are own coaches, but when we are actively working to control the chatter of our minds, we have to pause, to feel and to think, to see if the thinking is clear.” The self coaching possibilities are endless – whatever your need, there’s a coach for you, from business coaching to love to parenting. In addition to Self Coaching, Sawicki works with clients who are struggling with boundaries and narcissism. “The common thread of a narcissist is to make people feel inadequate, shame and fear based and guilty based. They can be very manipulative. It’s very prevalent and confusing because the narcissist can look like they have it together.” Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a mental condition in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for admiration and a lack of empathy for others. But behind this mask of ultra-confidence lies a fragile self-esteem that’s vulnerable to the slightest

criticism, she explains. A Narcissistic Personality Disorder causes problems in many areas of life, such as relationships, work, school or financial affairs. Sawicki coaches “people who are narcissists or who are deeply involved with a narcissist. Once you go through my program you learn what exactly narcissistic traits are and how to protect yourself and your emotions through understanding and ‘Boundary Setting’ techniques.” She has been coaching for years but she just recently received certification from the International Coach Federation. “We are in the world where accreditation means a lot to a lot of people … I wanted to get trained. My three accreditations brought me further. I was able to morph my skills and talents and intuition into something that is solid,” Sawicki says. Clients generally work with her for six sessions, though some just want one and others stay with her for a year or more, all with the intent to get better at “scheduling our doable, attainable action.” “My whole thing is, one thought at a time. We change our life, one thought our time. We power our life one thought at a time. What I do, I break down the thought process and the self analyzing process, the possibilities of actions.” A

LISA SAWICKI selfcoachnow.com

WISHING YOU A HEART HEALTHY 5776!

Hadassah San Diego PRESENTS

“Girlfriends Take Heart!” A WOMEN’S HEART HEALTH PROGRAM

SUNDAY, OCTOBER 18, 2015 10:00am - 2:00pm AMN Healthcare in Carmel Valley

FEATURING Dr. Christina L. Adams Cardiologist at Scripps Health Chef Palma Bellighieri of Rancho La Puerto and Scripps Center for Integrative Medicine PANEL DISCUSSION Two survivors of serious heart-related incidents For reservations and information: 858.268.3200 sandiegohsc@hadassah.org hadassah.org/events/girlfriendstakeheart Underwritten by Shirley Pidgeon in memory of her son, Lawrence Pidgeon.

HADASSAH THE WOMEN’S ZIONIST ORGANIZATION OF AMERICA, INC.

©2015 Hadassah, The Women’s Zionist Organization of America, Inc. Hadassah and Every Beat Counts: Hadassah’s Heart Health Program are trademarks or registered trademarks of Hadassah, The Women’s Zionist Organization of America, Inc.

Elul 5775 • Tishrei 5776 l SDJewishJournal.com 89 RH2015 Ad_SCali_SanDiego.indd 1

8/11/15 12:11 PM

news Brandeis Rancho Bernardo to Host Fundraiser

Restoration at Camp Mtn. Chai Helps the Show Go On

The mid-June “Lake Fire” burned more than 10,000 acres along what is known as the camp loop on Route 38. Like many other camps in the area, San Diego’s Camp Mountain Chai was in session and ultimately evacuated as the fire blew past the camp, threatening the structures and making the air unsafe to breathe. Yaron Leif of Orange Restoration at first volunteered his services to assess the damage at Camp Mountain Chai. When he arrived, it was clear there was a legitimate insurance claim and lots of work to be done, so the Jewish camp retained the services of Orange Restoration with the goal of completing the cleaning and removal of debris in time for camp’s last summer session. “For two and a half weeks, our company played camp,” Leif said. “We lived in the cabins, cooked in the kitchen. ... We had around 30 employees with forklifts, cranes, lots of stuff to be able to power-warsh all the structures from the outside.” The crew also used “very unique types of gases” on the inside of the cabins to remove all the odors. “It looked like a special operation in the Israel Army – three shifts around the clock to be able to finish it before the next camp comes,” Leif marveled. Meanwhile, Camp Mountain Chai’s director Zim Zimmerman led efforts to decontaminate the pool and control erosion around the camp. Ultimately, the crew completed the mission with two days left to spare, and Camp Mountain Chai opened for the second summer session. Now that the camp has been restored, the Camp Mountain Chai Women’s Weekend retreat is gearing up. Happening Oct. 16-18, registrations are available now at cmcwomensweekend.com.

On Sept. 8, the Rancho Bernardo Chapter of the Brandeis National Committee will host it’s programming season opener, the annual fashion show and luncheon fundraiser. Members of the chapter will serve as models for clothes by Chico’s, at the Remington Club at 11:30 a.m. All proceeds will benefit the Brandeis University Sustaining the Mind: Scientific Research and Scholarship Fund. The cost for the show and luncheon is $20. For further information and to R.S.V.P. please call Lynne at (858) 487-3513.

Save the Dates: Options and The Men’s Event

Save the date for the Jewish Federation’s two biggest events, both back this year after a brief hiatus last year. Options, the Women’s Event will be Sunday, Nov. 1, with registration now open. The luncheon seeks to provide professional and personal inspriation for San Diego’s Jewish women. It will feature Tracy Borkum of The Urban Kitchen Group, Janet Gurwith, founder and former CEO of Laura Mercier Cosmetics and Melissa Rivers, actress, television host and philanthropists at the Manchester Grand Hyatt. Register as a table captain at bit.ly/optionstable. Those interested in purchasing individual tickets are asked to contact Lisa Kalal at lisak@jewishfederationsandiego.org for more information. The Men’s Event will follow on Wednesday, Dec. 16 at 6 p.m. Lt. Gen. Benny Gantz, former chief of staff of the Israel Defense Forces, is the featured speaker. Registration opens in the fall. Find more information at jewishinsandiego.org.

90 SDJewishJournal.com l September 2015

Poway Center Announces Name Change

To celebrate 25 years “of presenting world-class talent on Poway’s intimate stage,” the Poway Center for the Performing Arts Foundation will now go by a new name: Poway OnStage. The mission is the same, “to provide world-class entertainment … and the best music, dance, theater and comedy in North Inland County.” Their Silver Anniversary Season will include: Bram Stoker's Dracula, The Temptations, The Upright & Grand Piano Festival and more. Details at powayonstage.org.

Coming Up at Cal Center

This month, the California Center for the Arts, Escondido, kicks off its 2015/2016 season with a series of one-night-only events. The opening week showcases performances by several GRAMMY® winners and nominees plus world-renowned talents like the San Francisco Comedy Competition, Storm Large & Le Bonheur, Dr. Seuss’ The Cat in the Hat, and The Time Jumpers with Vince Gill, Kenny Sears and Ranger Doug Green. Find performance details at artcenter.org.

Hadassah Foundation Awards Grant to Girls Give Back

The Hadassah Foundation in August announced the recipients of $150,000 worth of grants across the United States. Given to organizations that “strengthen the leadership development skills and capabilities of Jewish girls and young women,” the granting program supports Hadassah’s mission to empower social change. In San Diego, the Jewish Family Service program Girls Give Back received $35,200 from this year’s Hadassah Foundation grant program. The money will be used to support their work in education around gender inequality, leadership skills development, and engagement in the San Diego community through volunteer work and service learning projects. Since 2000, the Hadassah Foundation has awarded approximately $6.8 million to nearly 80 nonprofit organizations. Other recipients for this year include AVODAH: The Jewish Service Corps, $28,200; Jewish Community Relations Council of New York, $33,200; Jewish Women’s Archive, $28,400 (New Grantee); and The Shalom Hartman Institute of North America, $25,000 (New Grantee). For more information, visit the Hadassah Foundation at hadassahfoundation.org.

San Diegan Makes Aliyah, Becomes Lone Soldier

In August, Nefesh B’Nefesh announced that two young adults from California made aliyah. Among the group of nearly 60 people were 18-year-old Noam Cooper from San Diego and 22-year-old Sophie Karchemskiy from Daly City. Both will join the Israel Defense Forces as Lone Soldiers. Nefesh B’Nefesh is an organization that works in cooperation with the Israeli government and The Jewish Agency for Israel to help English speakers from North America and the United Kingdom move to Israel. The group says there’s a growing trend, “with some 600 young people across the country annually forgoing the traditional post-college route by serving in one of the world’s most dangerous war zones to defend their ancestral homeland.” More information can be found at nbn.org.il. Elul 5775 • Tishrei 5776 l SDJewishJournal.com 91

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Gertrude Klotz-San Diego 3/23/1913-5/31/2015 Survivors: son, Joel Resnick.

Joseph Weitzen-San Diego 05/12/1925- 06/08/2015 Survivors: daughter, Barbara Jo Weitzen.

Jacqueline Lassman-Chula Vista 7/21/1926- 6/02/2015 Irving Gold-San Diego Survivors: daughter, Linda Lambert; 11/08/1941-6/09/2015 three grandchildren and three Survivors: wife, Emily Gold. great-grandchildren. Shelly Braver-Del Mar Sonia Schoen-San Diego 4/07/1943- 6/10/2015 8/07/1922-6/03/2015 Survivors: husband, Daniel Braver; Survivors: daughter, Ann Gorski; daughter, Jaqui Braver; son, Jon son, Jerrold Gorski and three Braver; and one grandchild. grandchildren. Allan Seigel-La Mesa Selma Kaden-San Diego 7/20/1946- 6/12/2015 11/24/1922- 6/05/2015 Survivors: sister, Joyce Manganiello. Survivors: daughter, Marsha Lubick; son - Ronald Kaden; and two Joseph Wechsler-San Marcos grandchildren. 11/02/1918-6/14/2015 Survivors: wife, Florence Wechsler; Sylvia Kurasch-Escondido and daughter, Joan Rubb. 10/30/1923- 6/05/2015 Jack Goss-El Cajon Survivors: granddaughter, Carolyn 3/07/1915- 6/13/2015 Bennett. Survivors: daughter, Beth Perrine. Samuel Atri-Coronado 4/28/1986- 6/07/2015 Survivors: Parents, Jaime and Rachel Atri; and sister, Daniela Modiano.

Sara Arkin-San Diego 7/01/1923- 6/14/2015 Survivors: daughters, Ilene Bernstein and Laurie Arkin; and six grandchildren.

92 SDJewishJournal.com l September 2015

Myrna Lubliner-San Marcos 9/01/1938-6/15/2015 Survivors: husband, Ira Lubliner; daughter, Stacy Lubliner; sons, Mark and Perry Lublin-er and 6 grandchildren. Feyga Smolyar-La Mesa 1/20/1920-6/17/2015 Survivors: sister, Anna Polyakov. Aleksandr Shleyfer-San Diego 4/26/1937- 6/17/2015 Survivors: wife, Galina Shletfer; and daughter, Svetlana Gaidarov. George Brokhman-San Diego 12/24/1923-6/18/2015 Survivors: wife, Marya Brokhman; daughters, Tanya Shipman and Alexandra Brokhman; four grandchildren and two greatgrandchildren. Alfred Schwartz- Vista 4/26/1931-6/18/2015 Survivors: daughter, Tara Bogges; son, Ron Schwartz; four grandchildren and three greatgrandchildren.

All ServiceS AlreAdy Held Irvin Sontag-El Cajon, CA 04/19/1920- 06/22/2015 Survivors: wife, Florence Sontag; daughter, Stephaine Sontag; and son, Richard Sontag. Seymour Goldman-San Diego 3/04/1922-6/21/2015 Survivors: daughters, Caren Folbre and Roberta Bailund. Morris Feldman-San Diego 3/07/1918- 6/23/2015 Survivors: daughter, Dina Feldman; son, Jeff Feldman; and three grandchildren. Ida Poster-Poway 5/21/1921-6/24/2015 Survivors: sons, Bruce and Brian Poster.

DIVERSIONS By Natalie Jacobs

“The Seasonal Jewish Kitchen” Separated into twomonth increments, this book is helpful for farmers market frequenters and those wishing to get back into natural eating patterns.

“Rosenwald”

The documentary “Rosenwald” tells the incredible story of Julius Rosenwald, a man who never finished high school but rose to become co-owner of Sears, Roebuck & Co. Influenced by the writings of the educator Booker T. Washington, this Jewish philanthropist joined forces with African American communities to build more than 5,300 schools across the segregated South, providing 660,000 black children with access to education. Rosenwald used his wealth to become one of America’s most effective philanthropists. Because of his modesty, Rosenwald’s philanthropy and social activism are not well known today, despite that he gave away $62 million in his lifetime. Recipients of the Rosenwald Fund to support African American artists included Gordon Parks Jr., Marian Anderson, W.E.B. Du Bois and Langston Hughes. Interviews in the film include Maya Angelou, Julian Bond, Rep. Danny Davis, Rita Dove, Benjamin Jealous, Rep. John Lewis, Clarence Page, Eugene Robinson, Cokie Roberts and Ambassador David Saperstein. From Aviva Kempner, the award-winning director of “The Life and Times of Hank Greenberg” and “Yoo-Hoo, Mrs. Goldberg,” “Rosenwald” is playing at the Ken Cinema beginning Sept. 11.

“The Family”

Actor Zach Gilford is half Swedish half Russian Jew and he’s been quietly working away in Hollywood for a handful of years. People may recognize his signature broodiness from his character Matthew Saracen on “Friday Night Lights,” but he’s also made appearances in a Taylor Swift music video and on an episode “Law and Order: Special Victims Unit.” In this new ABC drama, “The Family,” Gilford plays the oldest son of a politician whose life is flipped when when his younger brother mysteriously reappears.

“What Pet Should I Get?” The highly anticipated, long awaited Dr. Seuss book is finally here.

“The Grinder”

My my how Fred Savage has grown! His latest sitcom effort is a far cry from “The Wonder Years” but “The Grinder” shows some interesting promise. Premiering in the fall tv frenzy, “The Grinder” puts Savage opposite Rob Lowe. The two are brothers, both lawyers. Except Lowe has the inflated ego of a city slicker wherease Savage has patiently tended to his family’s small-town practice for his entire career. When Lowe reutrns home to take over the business, brotherly love is put to the test. Warning, Lowe has a severe spray tan – no need to adjust your tv settings.

“Even You” A Jewish Native American struggles with uncomfortable truths of a hidden scandal.

Elul 5775 • Tishrei 5776 l SDJewishJournal.com 93

HAPPENINGS by tina b. eshel

eptember is rich with end of summer swimming, sand and earthy fun (with some artsy stuff thrown in the mix). It’s also the High Holiday season, obviously. Here’s some secular fun, plus a few more religious activites, to add to your overflowing calendar this month. The 2015 NextGen Leadership Mission participants are coming together to collectively raise $10,000 to save children with congenital heart disease on Sept. 3 at 6 p.m. for the Save a Child's Heart NextGen Fundraising Party. For $75, you can help take over Saiko Sushi in North Park for an amazing evening of live music, all-youcan-eat sushi and Japanese food, and sushi roll training by some of the top sushi chefs in town. Find details at jewishinsandiego.org. Labor Day weekend, check out the San Diego Sand Sculpting challenge and Dimensional Art Exposition Sept. 4-7. Organizers will bring 300 tons of sand to the B Street cruise ship terminal pier where master sand sculptors will compete to create threedimensional art that can weigh more than 10 tons each! More info at ussandsculpting.com. Beer lovers 21 and older: savor unlimited two oz. beer tastes this year at the San Diego Festival of Beer. Held at the Broadway Pier on Friday, Sept. 18, the event features live music and nearly 60 different breweries serving up 120 beer varieties with food and munchies for purchase. Quench your thirst at sdbeerfest.org. If art’s more your thing, enjoy the Boulevard Arts Market between the 2800 and 2900 blocks of El Cajon Blvd on Sept.18 from 6-10 p.m. Organized by The Digital Gym, the street is literally transformed into a marketplace featuring local chefs, art vendors, freshly brewed coffee and teas, home crafted beers and more. More info at facebook.com/events/1108717579144412. The South Park Walkabout highlights the best of one of San Diego’s most eclectic neighborhoods and is a fun-filled evening for all ages on Saturday evening, Oct. 3. Bring your date, your family or your friends to enjoy complimentary treats, live entertainment and special offers. To learn more about this community event – happening the last night of Sukkot – walk your fingers over to southparkscene.com. The San Diego History Center brings you the Maker Faire San Diego, Oct. 3 and 4. This is DIY taken to a new level – with all the fixin’s for you to learn, invent, craft, hack, innovate and build. Learn more about all the ways this unique fair will allow you a weekend of fun in early fall by visiting sdmakerfaire.org. Finally, save Oct. 4 for Sukkot Harvest Festival at The Leichtag Ranch. Featuring the Hazon Jewish Food Festival, homebrewing classes, kids activities and ancient rituals reenacted, this day-long festival is not to be missed. Register early at leichtag.org. A

94 SDJewishJournal.com l September 2015

BEST BETS

Mark your calendar.

NEXTGEN SAVE A CHILD’S HEART FUNDRAISER PARTY Sept. 3 Saiko Sushi in North Park jewishinsandiego.org

SAN DIEGO FESTIVAL OF BEER Sept. 18 Broadway Pier sdbeerfest.org

BOULEVARD ARTS MARKET Sept. 18 6-10 p.m. 2800-2900 blocks of El Cajon Blvd facebook.com events/1108717579144412

SUKKOT AT THE RANCH Oct. 4 11 a.m. - 5 p.m. leichtag.org

SENIOR CENTERS HAY FEVER, CYGNET THEATRE, OLD TOWN Lawrence Family JCC 4126 Executive Drive, La Jolla Contact Melanie Rubin for details or to R.S.V.P. (858) 362-1141. Pan Card Game Mondays and Thursdays, 11:45 a.m. Evening Social Bridge Tuesdays, 7 p.m. For intermediate and advanced players, Chicago scoring, bring a partner. Cost: $3, JCC member $2. Mah Jongg Game Wednesdays, noon JCC members play the ancient tile game of Mah Jongg. Oceanside Senior Center 455 Country Club Lane, Oceanside Contact Josephine at (760) 295-2564 North County Jewish Seniors Club Third Thursday of each month, 12:30 p.m. Join us to hear speakers and/or entertainment at our monthly meetings. Light refreshments served. Visitors are welcome. Veterans Association of North County 1617 Mission Avenue, Oceanside CA 92058. Contact Marc Poland (858) 232-1645. Jewish War Veterans meetings Second Sunday of each month, noon. San Diego North County Post 385. Seacrest Village 211 Saxony Road, Encinitas Call Jon Schwartz at (760) 516-2001 Monthly Senior Dance First Friday of every month, 1 p.m. Refreshments and appetizers from our kosher kitchen will be provided. Free and open to the public. JFS University City Older Adult Center 9001 Towne Centre Drive, La Jolla Contact Aviva Saad for details or to R.S.V.P. (858) 550-5998. Rosh Hashanah Program and Celebration Thursday, Sept. 10, 10 a.m. Hot kosher lunch the music of Russell Paihinui. Celebrate Mexican Independence Wednesday, Sept. 16, 10 a.m. Music and entertainment by Peter Seltser. Sukkot and Simchat Torah Celebration Wednesday Sept. 30, 10 a.m. Learn about the Holidays of Sukkot and Simchat Torah, shake the four kinds in the Sukkah and dance with the Torah. On the Go excursions A program of Jewish Family Service, On the Go provides transportation to events throughout the county for homebound seniors. For information, please call Jo Kessler at (858) 637-7320.

On the Go Excursions. Contact Jo Kessler at (858) 637-7320. Sunday, Sept. 27, depart 1 p.m. Cost: $54

Annual Rosh Hashanah Luncheon, College Avenue Campus Friday, Sept. 11, Depart 11 a.m. Lunch and musical program by Yochanan Sebastian Winston and Tommy Gannon. Cost: $20 by Sept. 1. Hay Fever, Cygnet Theatre, Old Town Sunday, Sept. 27, depart 1 p.m. Set in an English country house in the 1920’s. Noel Coward’s hilarious comedy of bad manners has been a favorite amongst theatregoers ever since it first dazzled London’s West End in 1925. Cost: $54, pay by Sept. 16. JFS No. County Inland Center 15905 Pomerado Road, Poway Contact Jodi Rudick (858) 674-1123 for details. Most Activities are free to members, and lunch is $7 with reservations. Celebrate the High Holy Days with Food, Song and Spirit Wednesday, September 9, 10 a.m. Feeling Fit Club with Terri and hot kosher meal with friends at noon followed by healthy weight club and yoga. David Amos Presents Mexican Composers and Symphonies Wednesday Sept.16 10 a.m. Historian and composer, David Amos, takes you on a journey exploring some of Mexico’s finest music and musicians. JFS Coastal Club at Temple Solel 3575 Manchester Ave., Cardiff by the Sea Contact Jodi Rudick (858) 674-1123 for details. R.S.V.P. for lunch by Monday at 12:30 p.m. All activities are free and lunch is $7. Super Foods You Should Have in Your Kitchen Tuesday, Sept. 29, 10 a.m. Fit and Flexible with Silver Age Yoga JFS College Avenue Center 6299 Capri Drive, San Diego, CA 92120 Contact Sara Diaz (858) 637-3270 for details on any events or to R.S.V.P. Rosh Hashanah Celebration Friday, Sept. 11 at noon Special Rosh Hashanah luncheon followed by music with Yochanan Sebastian Winston and Tommy Gannon, playing Yiddish, Hebrew and popular tunes. Rhinestone Grannies: Song and Dance Friday, Sept. 18 at 12:45 p.m. These glittering grandmothers love to sing and dance and they’ve put together a whole new show. Cost: $2 for non-members, free for lunch participants. The Lawyer in Blue Jeans Monday, Sept. 21 at 1 p.m. Jeff Isaac is an attorney in San Diego that is known as the “Lawyer in Blue Jeans. He will answer your questions and talk about the Law. Elul 5775 • Tishrei 5776 l SDJewishJournal.com 95

SHABBAT EVENTS

SYNAGOGUE LIFE Sukkot Celebrations: Temple Solel Build the Sukkah Sept. 27, 8 a.m. 3575 Manchester Ave, Cardiff by the Sea (760) 436-0654 Beth Israel Picnic in the Sukkah for New Families Sept. 27, 11:30 a.m. 9001 Towne Centre Drive (858) 535-1111 Congregation Beth Jacob 1st night dinner in the Sukkah Sept. 27, 6:20 p.m. 4855 College Ave, San Diego (619) 287-9890 Temple Etz Rimon Lunch in the Sukkah Sept. 30, 12:30 p.m. 2020 Chestnut Ave, Carlsbad (760) 929-9503

SPECIAL EVENTS

MOVES AND MAZEL TOVS:

All you can eat BBQ Bounty at Chabad La Costa Sept. 6, 5 p.m. 1980 La Costa Avenue, Carlsbad (760) 943-8891

Ohr Shalom honors Lou Dunst On Aug. 1, Ohr Shalom synagogue honored long time humanitarian, philanthropist and Holocaust survivor Lou Dunst, with a special service and luncheon dedicating a new Torah scroll cover in his name to the synagogue. Dunst’s story is told in the book, “My Bargain with God: The Story of Holocaust Survivor Lou Dunst.”

Beth Am’s Labor Day Kosher BBQ Sept. 7, 11 a.m. Ashley Falls Park 13030 Ashley Falls Drive (858)481-8454 USY (Members only) Goes to Disneyland! 7-12 graders, join USY for a fun-filled day at the Happiest Place on Earth. Sept. 6, 7 a.m. – 11:30 p.m. Contact your Youth Director at Beth Am, Beth El, Tifereth Israel, Ohr Shalom, Ner Tamid or Beth Shalom. 96 SDJewishJournal.com l September 2015

*Interested in having your event featured? Contact tinamarieb@sdjewishjournal.com. Submissions are due by Sept. 15 for the October issue.

Elul 5775 • Tishrei 5776 l SDJewishJournal.com 97

Check your answers at: www.thefamousabba.com/SANDIEGO

• The son of Avraham and Sarah. Father of Yaacov, grandfather of Reuven.

• The son of Avraham and Hagar. Adbeel and Neviot are among my 12 sons.

Can you name the following people?

GENEALOGY

Share 3 things you are proud of that you did in 5775.

year IN REVIEW

1. ‫( פרים‬1:24) 2. ‫( סגר‬1:5) 5. ‫( עיר‬1:3) 7. ‫( בכי‬1:7) DOWN 2. ‫( נער‬1:22) 3. ‫( נדר‬1:11) 4. ‫( יין‬1:14) 6. ‫( התפלל‬1:12)

Complete the crossword by translating each Hebrew word into English. Use the reference from the Haftorah of the first day of Rosh Hashanah (I Shmuel 1:1-2:10) for help. ACROSS 6

CROSSWORD

When you hear the Shofar, remember it is a call to “wake up” and do mitzvahs better.

understanding prayer

Zeal. This year, try to pick a few things you can do better. Set a goal and work hard!

T E R S E E R

E Y F A M O U

F R D W O T E

M A E N L U H

O A L L S R R

O S M O O G A

Brought to you by:

A D E G E W H

R I D H D E R

www.thefamousabba.com

WORD FIND

Find the bold italic words on this sheet. The unused letters spell a hidden message!

HaShem remembered Sarah and she had a son with Avraham just as HaShem promised. Avraham named their son Yitzchak. On the 8th day, Avraham circumcised Yitzchak. Avraham was 100 years old when Yitzchak was born. Yishmael was acting inappropriately, so Sarah told Avraham to have Hagar leave their house with her son, Yishmael. Avraham was upset as Yishmael was also his son, but HaShem told him to listen to Sarah. Hagar left with Yishmael to the desert of Ba’er Sheva. When they ran out of water, Hagar put her son under one of the trees and left him and she started to cry. An angel came and said not to worry, HaShem has heard the cry of the boy. HaShem opened up Hagar’s eyes and a well of water was there. The boy grew up to become an archer. Avraham made a pact of peace with Avimelech and Fichol, his captain, and took an oath at Ba’er Sheva.

1 TISHREI 5776 ROSH HASHANAH

SHOFAR

ROSH CHODESH

‫רי‬ ÷‫ג‬

‫כו‬ - ‫טז‬

‫ס‬ +‫מ‬

‫ד‬ x‫ק‬ ‫ת‬

RTAAL

Visit www.thefamousabba.com/chinuch-podcasts for this week’s Chinuch Podcast! Hear from a new speaker each week.

400 300 200 100 90

‫א ב ג ד ה ו ז ח ט י כ ל מ נ ס ע פ צ ק ר ש ת‬

‫ד‬ +‫א‬

One of the sounds we make with the Shofar?

gematria

(Hint: The Binding of Yitzchak)

BLMA

ENALG

SETT

MACHZOR

HALLEL

(scramble) NBDI

RFEIONFG

WORD CMRLESAB

PRAYER APPLES

Which one is different? (Hint: Rosh Hashanah)

spot the difference

I was married to Elkanah and am mentioned in a famous story in the book of Shmuel. Many Jewish laws are followed today based on my story at the Mishkan while I davened for a child.

who AM I?

• A cell phone was ringing during Rosh Hashan dinner. • Someone was sitting in your seat in shul.

Can you judge these situations favorably?

YOU BE THE JUDGE

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Elul 5775 • Tishrei 5776 l SDJewishJournal.com 99

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ASK MARNIE

by Marnie Macauley

ADVICE asksadie@aol.com

Taking the "oy" out of the High Holidays It’s that glorious time again: The High Holidays that fill most of us with the joy and majesty of our customs and bring the Jews of the world together as they have for centuries. How could there possibly be a little tsouris? Let’s look. ROSH HASHANAH RELATIONS Dear Marnie: Every Rosh Hashanah, auntie Tillie, the family yenta, throws huge dinners which we all better attend or “you-know-what.” I can’t stand it. So I ask you, what is the best way of going about not seeing bad-vibe relatives during the High Holy Days? -California Artist MARNIE SAYS: Oh pooh, Little Ms. Yidgrinch! (Remember to include this on your Yom Kippur atonement list.) But for you…I’ll begrudgingly advise. If you are positively forced to attend a “do” or risk being cut out of Tanta Tillie’s will, you could…explain you’d love to “drop by,” but only for an hour as you’ve signed up for Rosh Hashanah duty for the poor across town. Or, you can stay for the whole thing under the motto “grin and bare it.” Whenever one of my nutty nearests utters some swaddle, I smile, mention how I adore them “despite that minor arterial flow problem,” then hug the offender. Here’s why. Picture it: Rosh Hashanah 1980. In attendance: Uncle Iggy, the spendthrift who buys silk briefs and displays them to the family – after which he borrows from us to pay his water bill. Aunt Merna of the-tofu-and-copper-bracelets who lectures us on the benefits of honey vs. raw sugar and weighs-in at 300 pounds. Brother-in-law Yitzak whose motto is, “Don’t mind if I do,” then helps himself to the rest of the chicken, and the carpeting. Grandpa Jake, the family “historian,” whose versions always make him part Goliath and part “The Kosher Crusader” whether it was starting the family business or giving birth to our cousins, the triplets. Cousin Adele, who redecorates our home before the appetizer, muttering what odious taste we have, then rushes off to visit her grown children (in recovery). And that’s just a sampling. Each one had the

capacity to put each other, nevermind waiters, salesmen, travel agents and their offspring in a rest home faster than an epidemic. View your quirky kin as part of your patchwork. A rip roaring, life-thumping, crazy quilt that grows deeper with each succeeding generation. And surprise surprise, you may feel as I do. Tell yourself you share the cosmos with this particular group of kin for but a moment. In an eye blink, the “bad vibers” will turn from annoying to anecdotes. I’d give a piece of my soul to hear Aunt Merna waft on about her sputum, watch Maurice pocket the breadsticks or see Uncle Iggy parade the tops of his silk undies one more time. Now I can only tell stories about them. And I do. During the holidays. After all, what right does one stitch have to ignore the design? SURVIVING THE HOLIDAY WITH TODDLERS Dear Marnie: My very proper in-laws have invited us, once again, to their very prim break-fast. All was great during the High Holidays when it was my husband, myself and our newborn, Aaron. But since Aaron turned “terrible” two, it’s been havoc! I don’t want to create a family scene, so I’m thinking we should skip it. -Nervous Nelly MARNIE SAYS: It’s tough, especially since little Aaron just learned that black marks on white sofas creates a WOW-factor. My General Rule is: Tradition rules! How are we going to teach our kinder to appreciate family ties and tradition if we don’t make them (and us) suffer? OK, but not that much.

Most are motorized darlings with less of an attention span than that itsy bitsy spider making its way up that water spout. It’s called normal. Yes, you want them to behave civilly. But hey, you’re working on it. *Assign “the problem” to only one parent who gallops around screaming, “PUT THAT DOWN THIS MINUTE, AARON!” or is under the table finding Aaron squeezing latkes while the rest talk about The Middle East. Share the load so all adults can gobble food after a day of starvation. *Expect little Rebecca to remain “unmoved.” While even small children can sit still for a bit, asking a toddler to wait out Uncle Blablahganoush’s 20 minute verbal tour of his hernia is too much (for any of us). Do’s: *If you’re the parent, anticipate at times your babe will be bored, scoot and want to treasure hunt. Bring toys, CDs, stuffed animals, child-friendly snacks and any other calm-down activities. Then retire the spawn to a child-friendly room where he can play or calm. Again, this task should be shared with another, so all get to sample adult fare. *Leave before the witching hour. You know it. The moment when your adorable kinder mutates into a creature with a voice box the size of Sasquatch. Like migraine flashes, heed the warning signs and gun the motor. And before you leave, take the hands of those in your clan, who, despite the fuss, the fume, and the sticky-fingers, are part of your crazy quilt called “family.” The tapestry, woven from these years, can grow larger and deeper with each generation. It’s in the very hands of those sticky-fingered toddlers. It’s the little ones who’ll decide to either keep stitching – or ignore the design. That makes them VIPS or Very Important Participants. A

Don’ts: *Expect toddlers to be Lord/Lady Fauntleroys. Elul 5775 • Tishrei 5776 l SDJewishJournal.com 101

WOrLD prEmIErE DANcE-mUSIcAL! A company that has amassed an astounding 18 Tony Awards, 4 Pulitzer Prizes, 6 Pulitzer finalist distinctions, 3 Emmys, and 2 Academy Awards joins forces for the must-see musical event of the fall!

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Stephen Flaherty Douglas Carter Beane, Nilo Cruz, Christopher Durang, Carrie Fisher, David Henry Hwang, Rajiv Joseph, Terrence McNally, Marsha Norman, Lynn Nottage, and Alfred Uhry Title Song Lyrics by Lynn Ahrens Conceived by Christopher Gattelli and Jennifer Manocherian Directed and Choreographed by Christopher Gattelli Music by

Stories Written by

SEpTEmBEr 16 – OcTOBEr 25

The cast of In Your Arms. Photo by Buck Lewis, courtesy of New York Stage and Film & Vassar’s Powerhouse Theater.

Oscar and Tony Award winner Mercedes Ruehl (The Fisher King, Lost in Yonkers) brings “The Empress of Fashion” back to The Old Globe! Before Anna Wintour or The Devil Wears Prada, there was Diana Vreeland, larger-than-life doyenne of American taste. Unceremoniously fired as editor of Vogue, she hunkers down in her famous all-red New York apartment and plans her comeback: a magazine of her own. The path to get there is as complicated and outré as Vreeland herself. Full Gallop, which premiered at the Globe in 1995, is a witty one-woman tour de force about the fabulous style icon who forever changed the way Americans experience clothing, art, and life.

FULL GALLOp Mark Hampton and Mary Louise Wilson Directed by Andrew Russell By

Oscar and Tony Award winner Mercedes Ruehl.

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SEpTEmBEr 26 – OcTOBEr 25

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104 SDJewishJournal.com l September 2015