Seattle Sinner - Dec 2011

December - 2011

The Sinful World Of

ViVi Louise

St Louis’

Seattle’s

Bass Amp and Dano

The F-Holes

UNMASKED

UNMASKED

something seriously wrong with folks who undertake the chalROAD TRIPS & ROCK SLIDES There’s lenge of driving across country through the great plains and Rocky Mountains in mid-November. To put it simply, they’re all fucking mad. The web of interstates and highways that stretch the nation are uncertain terrain, full of potential perils and hazards. Suicidal deer and elk leap from the darkness on a routine basis, their bloody limbs and torsos pepper the pavement every few miles. Then there’s the potential for destructive weather, the snow, ice and blizzard-like conditions that put cars and tractor trailers upside down in ditches and over cliffs. And if you think it can’t get any worse, consider being buried alive in a rock slide on I-70 outside of Denver.

Rock slides and blizzards and suicidal creatures of the night are only a few of the worries that can haunt the weary and worn road traveler. With every blink of the eye and nod of the head the potential to be run off the road by a half-sleep trucker, swerving back and forth across the dotted white lines, increases dramatically. There’s only so much that uppers can do for the trucker traveling thousands of miles a day. And chancing the short cut or scenic route by venturing off the interstate can put you in deserted territory, where gas stations can be hundreds of miles apart on any given day – and then there’s no guarantee that any will even have gas. Finding yourself on empty in the middle of a snow storm in the middle of nowhere can put you six-foot under as quick as any doped trucker can. There’s the potential for breaking down on a barren strip, too, that stretch of desolate freeway where serial killers and madmen roam free, abducting weary and helpless travelers at will.

Above all threats to consider on the road, a far more dangerous culprit rockets down the pavement daily, Obnoxious Moronous. He or she is the jackass behind the wheel in a hurry to get nowhere fast, to shave a few minutes off a trip to grandam’s house at your expense. Obnoxious Moronous will soar past you, cut you off, and nearly cause you to rear-end the slow moving vehicle in front of you, only to gain one car length. Common sense or concern for safety are not part of his or her thinking process, only selfish thought and will. You find the remains of their destructive behavior down every road, usually marked by a flower-covered white cross.

The cross country road trip is for the mad, those of unsound mind. And that’s certainly the indy publisher. There’s no budget for first-class airfare nor Amtrack, unless you’re living off a trust fund or settlement or one of the 1% – and if so, you’re nothing more than an indy poser. For this indy publisher, our road trip was the one back home to Seattle to celebrate our 10th year in indy publishing. With day jobs being our first obstacle, and another late print being our second, time quickly became our enemy. And the only way to beat time on the road is to drive hard and fast, and sleep in shifts. With two-thousand miles down in twenty-seven hours passed, these kind of road trips aren’t for the weak or spoiled, they’re dirty and greasy, unsettling and nerve wracking – fucking mad.

Maybe I was mad before indy publishing, or maybe indy publishing made me mad. I’m way beyond the semantics of this debate now. The woman not only knows my madness but has become to accept it over the years. Whether it be me publishing this forum of free speech and rants or spending the weekend on the streets of St. Louis, panhandling for money and food, really not matter to her anymore. And after we visited Occupy Seattle last month while on vacation, I think she even expected for me to ask to camp with protesters for the night. And that’s what I did.

Destination Occupation started with me rolling up my sleeping bag and turning down a bag of weed from a friend to take to the Ben Hills’ Memorial Show at the Comet, accepting only few nuggets instead. I didn’t have a pipe, but was confident that I would find another smoker with one, especially on Capital Hill. This kind of venture takes serious thought, sober thought. I gave the woman my bank card and all my cash except for $49 and my ID, leaving all my other valuables, including my camera, in her care. Worst case scenario, I get rolled for whatever cash I have left after The Comet show, which normally wouldn’t be much, if any. But this wasn’t a typical night, even more so with sober thought and behavior.

To make sense of this ramble, the following details must be noted, accurately: I met Guitar Doug and his friend Belinda inside The Comet. While I could have slipped past the cover of $7 as the publisher of The Sinner, I proudly paid, leaving me $42. I immediately bought one bourbon at $5, which was $6 after tip, leaving me $36. I then switched to a $3 PBR, leaving me $32 after tip. Belinda bought my next round of PBR, so I bought her next vodka and cranberry, leaving me $23. All three of us then headed to Occupy Seattle to shoot a few photos with Doug’s camera and talk occupation with the folks weathering the freezing temperatures. We returned an hour or so later to catch the end of the show, where I bought my last PBR of the night, leaving me $19. Doug and Belinda left; I went and created a mosh pit to the last act. I left very unusually sober, especially for this sinner..

This is where Destination Occupation takes a weird twist. After the show no one outside The Comet had a pipe for me to share my Kind Bud. Across the street, underneath the streetlight, I noticed a couple 420-friendly youngsters, at least young to this 40-year-old sinner. Upon approaching the group of four, three males and one female, I noticed an array of artwork laying upon the sidewalk – nothing mind-altering or earth-shattering, but art nonetheless. One of the guys, sitting amongst the art, said he was asking $5 a drawing. I agreed, as it’s an honorable barter system, not a handout. I then offered to pack a bowl of weed, if they had a pipe to pack. Instead, one of the other males offered his pipe, already loaded. I humbly accepted, as any sinner would. Upon my first and only toke, I felt the street beneath me shift, like a slight tremor. I then heard the request for $5. I reached in my pocket but found myself unable to pull my remaining $19 and ID out to pay for the art. As I did it hit the ground, and the group of strangers attempted to reach for it, but I regained enough composure to grasp it from the trembling ground. Then I heard the guy sitting with the art as he handed me a piece say, “ No man, it’s $10!”, after he had saw the ten-spot I dropped. As I grabbed the art and threw the $5 bill to the ground in his direction, the lights of the cars driving down Broadway began to morph with the street lights, becoming one psychedelic beam of light. I then stumbled, trampling the remaining art displayed on the sidewalk. One of them quickly grabbed my shoulder and mumbled, “Hey man, why don’t you just hang with us?” Instinct took over as I knew what evil laid ahead if I stayed, so I scrambled away, across the street towards the occupation.

It was at the occupation that I found safety, at least the comfort to ride this unwanted trip out at 2am with my sleeping bag over my head and body. There were no parties or orgies at 2am nor 4am when I came out of this mad trip, as the national media often portrays the group. And at 6am when I finally regained my composure, the protesters woke and began cleaning and sweeping every piece of debris from the area, and regroup for the next day of survival, which is what the occupation is about every day and night, surviving this lopsided economy.

And that, is just another tale of fear and publishing in two cities....

DESTINATION OCCUPATION

WRITERS, RANTERS, OPINIONISTS & OTHER ALL-OUT FREAKS: Mark Taylor-Canfield Paul Blow Lucifer Saab Lofton Malice Henry Nicolle

Stu Kimberly Peters Emily Eufinger The Surley Gourmand Guitar Doug Rajkhet Dirzhud-Rashid

Kendra Holliday Joe Motor Gina Simon Thom Bone

Publisher: Chuck Foster Layout: Terri Daniels Cover Art: Chris Gomez Cover Model: ViVi Louise

The Sinner is a group of contributing writers. Their opinions, rants and ideas do not necessarily reflect the views of The Sinner itself.

The Sinner encourages contributions from its readers but retains the right to edit material due to content or length of submission.

FOR ADVERTISING OR SUBMISSION INFORMATION, CONTACT US AT CHUCK@THESEATTLESINNER.COM. SUBMISSION DEADLINE IS THE 25TH OF EVERY MONTH.

A "First" word on the Fourth Amendment

by Thom Bone

There’s actually a real reason for a peaceful protest needing to stay peaceful even when being raided.

A legal reason.

There’s this thing called the Fourth Amendment. I shall post it in its entirety here, then explain it.

“The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.”

Key words: unreasonable.

Key phrases: shall not be violated, but upon probable cause By staying peaceful and in the public right of way only, police have to violate this amendment to take down a protest. By a protest refusing to give them “probable cause” by staying peaceful throughout, the police can later be proven to have been “unreasonable” and thus in violation of the protest group’s civil rights per the Fourth Amendment. Fail to stay peaceful, you’ve just give them probable cause to kick your head in and to pepper spray you without passing the salt.

Make sense?

Oh and to those that scream “First Amendment being violated here!” during a raid?

GONG! WRONG. The First is never violated, ever. Not even when a protest is taken down. Everyone still has the right to free speech per the First all the way to jail--if they are dumb enough not to invoke their Fifth Amendment rights, that is. It is the fourth that is violated when this happens, not the First! Get it right, or you risk looking stupid to anyone with a brain (meaning: those with power, leverage or influence who might actually try to help you if you get a clue and at least prove that you won’t make them look like fools for bothering to try to help).

Keep getting it wrong, you only alienate yourselves further.

In short, the Fourth protects your right to exercise your First.

In fact, in many cases they actually want to protect your First Amendment rights because it makes it easier for them to see who the troublemakers are. While you’re screaming your head off, you’re easy to spot. So they have zero interest in quashing your First anyway. Not knowing when to speak and when to shut up only helps those who are trying to violate your rights in the first place.

And yes, the First guarantees your right to petition for the redress of grievances, I get that, but again, it is the Fourth that guarantees you the right to do it peacefully without interference, so long as you do not violate any laws while doing it.

Learn. Learn. Learn.

Oh and while I have your attention? I have some more news for you: DEMOCRACY DOES NOT WORK! How did you feel reading that? Was your first thought that I am some sort of extremist weirdo?

If so, then you really need to keep reading. You have fallen into a propaganda trap that has been fed to you since birth and I’ll prove it.

Being taught that this country is a Democracy is one of the biggest lines of ongoing bull that you have ever been fed in your life. I’ll explain.

The founding fathers did not start a Democracy. They started a republic. This country has never been a Democracy. The founders actually hated pure democracy and with good reason. They believed that pure democracy silences the minority (even if they have great ideas). They also were very convinced that it doesn’t work and never had worked, long-term, because it turns into “mob rule.” A writing by James Madison, Federalist Paper #10, explains this in more detail. Google it?

This nation was born a Republic. We even say it when we say the Pledge of Allegiance “…and to the Republic for which it stands…” and yes, I know that the words get interchanged a lot, but the truth is that a democracy and a republic are two very different things. They are not interchangeable. Democracy = minority is quashed, meaning majority, mob rule. Republic = minority voice is also protected by protecting the group as a whole.

Democracy is more of a local level thing and does work fine in small groups, so it’s not totally outof-place. But it’s still potentially dangerous if that group does not recognize when they have outgrown it.

For example: The stalemates that GAs in some Occupy cities and their inability to even agree on anything of substance due to infighting is already becoming an obvious problem. This is because of this fundamental misunderstanding and their adamant attempt to handle themselves in a way which DOES NOT WORK. They are too big for democracy now.

If Occupy is going to evolve, survive and not implode or explode, it must evolve a level up and become more like a true republic. Otherwise, individuals will eventually lose their voice unless they are already in the majority, and new ideas could be squashed before they become popular. I myself have already seen it happening in groups nationwide (but quite a bit more than usual here in Seattle).

Also, the “down twinkle” in Occupy needs to GO. Respect for all ideas, even unpopular ones, need to be heard and considered at ALL times. Nobody should be excluded who can demonstrate that they are trying to help the cause based solely on their ideas.

That being said, I now have one more request to make to help you understand this better. it is CRITICAL that you do, I believe. A moment of your time and you can become a lot more enlightened and things will make a lot more sense. Please don’t screw yourself over by stopping now. Keep going. Take the time to learn this major distinction because it is incredibly important. Again, search engines are your friend. Just search for “difference between a democracy and a republic” for more info that I can possibly convey in this space.

Occupy Seattle: Pepper Spray, Tasers and a SWAT Team Raid

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t’s been a historic and dramatic month in Seattle at the occupy camp. There have been glorious victories and crushing defeats, amazing triumphs and grand mistakes. All in all, it’s been an amazing whirlwind of activity and suspense. Somehow I have found myself in the middle of it all, giving speeches, marching, talking to the media, occupying, reporting on events for national radio programs and dodging pepper spray. I wouldn’t trade it for anything else in the world…

With compelling characters like Dorli Rainy and Jennifer Fox, the story of Occupy Seattle has been a

suspense thriller from the beginning. Never sure when the next crackdown will occur, we have all been challenged to maintain our composure even while the riot cops are breathing down our necks. Just ask the 84year-old activist and the pregnant teenager who claims she had a miscarriage due to the pepper spray and they will both tell you – police often react to acts of non-violent civil disobedience as if it were dangerous criminal activity.

The occupation grew to three different sites during the month of November – Seattle city hall, Westlake Park and Seattle Central Community College. Mayor Mike McGinn, in the grand tradition of Northwest politicians, adopted a typical passive aggressive stance – “I support you, but you’ve got to leave the park.” Add: “Or I will send the SPD to harass and arrest you.”

The Seattle Police Department is currently the subject of a Department of Justice investigation due to allegations of racial profiling and excessive use of force. Besides harassing protesters at Westlake Park, they also decided to send in a heavily armed SWAT team carrying assault rifles to evict 16 Occupy Seattle squatters from a warehouse on December 3rd.

What followed was a virtual news media black out for over twelve hours. It was spooky. As a journalist I was shocked that none of the local news media were there to cover the raid. You’d think that the TV stations would have loved to capture some exclusive footage of a paramilitary SWAT team carrying assault rifles as they climb up onto the roof of the warehouse using a Seattle Fire Dept. ladder truck.

Unfortunately, there were no news cameras to document the event so it didn’t really become a big story in the local media. In fact, neither the Seattle Times

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nor the local Fox TV station answered their newsroom telephones that night. At an editorial board meeting a week later I confronted the Seattle Times editors on this lack of coverage. They had no good response except to say, “No one was available at that hour.”

16 people were arrested inside the abandoned warehouse. For some reason, Seattle Police Department charged all of the women in the warehouse with criminal trespass and “obstruction”, although the men were only charged with trespassing. Bottom line – SWAT teams were formed to deal with potentially

being threatened with arrest can attend the protests or speak with their state legislative representatives without the fear of being arrested and charged with criminal trespass.

This preliminary ruling is a great victory for both the First and the Fourteenth Amendments to the US Constitution!

As I write this the Occupy Seattle camp of 100 tents is facing an immediate eviction from the Seattle Central Community College campus where it has been located for the last month. The camp has been given a 72 hour notice to leave the property or face police enforcement of the Photo by Guitar Doug eviction. It is clear that some Occupy Seattle folks may choose not to leave the campus voluntarily – more pepper spray and arrests?

Whatever happens during this most recent forced eviction, Occupy Seattle will continue to hold its open general assemblies in the park every day of the week, and we will continue to meet as working groups to promote solidarity and organizing. The next big action is planned for Dec. 12th. It will be an attempt to shut down all the major ports on the west coast of the US. Whether this will be possible in Seattle is clearly debatable, given the negative attitude of local law enforcement agencies towards the occupy demonstrations.

On the waterfront, the Occupy Seattle protesters will be dealing with more than just a few disgruntled local cops. They will also be facing off with the Coast Guard, Port of Seattle police, and possibly even private security and federal law enforcement. These folks violent incidents like bank robberies and hostage situa- don’t mess around and they could make it very difficult tions. They were not intended to be used to evict nonviolent protesters!

On Nov. 28th I was “detained” by police at the Washington State Capitol in Olympia during demonstrations against the state budget cuts to funding for healthcare, education, social programs and public safety. Besides using tasers on protesters to disperse the crowds, the Washington State Patrol were also banning people from the state capitol campus property and surrounding parks. None of these folks were charged with any crime, but their freedom of movement was restricted not by a judge or a jury, but by a law enforcement agency.

Four WSP officers carried me out of the capitol dome rotunda that night because I refused to leave the building along with about 50 other people, including five or six news reporters. The police did not detain the corporate news reporters. However, I was arrested while wearing a plainly visible press pass. I had refused to stop reporting on the sit-in that was taking place inside the building after the capitol was closed to the public. 30 people were “detained,” a few were taken to jail and the rest of us were told we were subject to arrest for criminal trespass if we returned to the state capitol within 30 days.

I found a well-established law firm and filed a and painful for the activists who converge on the port. class action civil rights lawsuit against the WashingThe Occupy movement will not disappear despite ton State Patrol for violations of my rights to freedom what some right-wing shock jocks are claiming. Millions of speech, freedom of assembly and freedom of the of people around the globe are counting on the movepress. On Dec. 6th a federal judge granted me a tem- ment to speak truth to power. No matter how many porary restraining order forbidding the WSP to issue times the police raid, attack and arrest the demonstraany more trespass warnings and overturning my ban tors, the protesters will not give in to the intimidation from the state capitol. Now all of the folks who were tactics being used on them by law enforcement, city

written by Mark Taylor-Canfield officials and the news media. They will be out on the streets marching and proudly chanting, “This is what democracy looks like!”

When Paul Kilpatrick, the college president, participated in our general assembly, this was my statement to him: “Participants of occupy Seattle are not only expressing our right to freedom of speech and assembly at SCCC, they are also taking care of displaced people who have been negatively impacted by the continuing cuts in social programs - including major cuts to funding for education, healthcare, social services, public transportation and public safety.

These austerity measures being passed by the US Congress and by our Washington State legislature are endangering public health, safety and welfare.

The failure of the global and US banking systems, and the resulting economic collapse has caused inflation, home foreclosures, high unemployment and an increase in poverty and homelessness in Seattle and throughout the nation.

The failure of our local and federal governments to respond to this crisis has left most of the population feeling powerless and victimized by an unfair and undemocratic political and economic system.

People in the US are looking to the Occupy Wall Street movement to give them hope that some of the changes we need to make in our economic and governing systems might just be possible, if the people are free to organize together in order to create those changes.

Therefore, Occupy Seattle is an example of how people around the world are gathering together to generate new ideas, share experiences and knowledge and work towards creating a more accountable, equitable and sustainable society where every member of society has the opportunity for health, education and a sustainable income, not just the wealthiest residents of the country and the corporate interests.”

Photo by Guitar Doug

• You Tube video of MTC talking about the SWAT team raid: www.youtube.com/ watch?v=xPKk6EaNjHo

of WSP using tasers on protesters: • Video www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ChngNbgkhU&featur e=related

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ESSAY | Liberty, Law, Common Sense

by Henry Nicolle

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Ballard 2 Bit Saloon 4818 17th Ave NW Ballard Brothers Burger 5305 15th Ave NW Seattle, WA 98107 Queen Anne Piece of Mind 623 Queen Anne Ave N Mecca Cafe 526 Queen Anne Ave N Downtown Five Points Cafe 415 Cedar St Hurricane Cafe 2230 7th Ave Fantasy Unlimited 2027 Westlake Ave

Georgetown Stellar Pizza 5513 Airport Wy S Pioneer Square The Central 207 1st Ave S J&M 201 1st Ave S Greenwood The Baranof 8549 Greenwood Ave N University District Piece of Mind 4339 University Wy NE College Inn Pub 4006 University Wy NE

Fremont Piece of Mind 315 N 36th St The Dubliner 3535 Fremont Ave Lake City Piece of Mind 12516 Lake City Way Hollywood Erotic 12706 Lake City Way Capitol Hill Linda’s 707 E Pine St Shoreline Darrell’s Tavern 18041 Aurora Ave N

For a complete list of our distibution points, log on to www.facebook.com/theseattlesinner

here are two fundamentally opposed human personalities. These are expressed in a myriad of modes and are fundamental in the Human Condition.

We each share a proportion of these personalities.

The ubiquitous personality of Humankind is cooperative, productive, friendly and peaceful. Our view of the world is as a neutral environment, filled with opportunity for those who strive, but not antagonistic for those who are just here to enjoy the experience. We tend to go along to get along and if some of us tend to lead, most of us will either follow or stay out of the way.

We do not kill to impose our ambitions. We do not kill to resist impositions by others.

The alternate Human Personality Meme has dominated throughout knowable history. A few of our family, friends and neighbors are convinced that the world would be a better place for everyone if somehow, they could impose their view that our common environment is of raw materials and deadly forces, a dangerous place that should be pacified and exploited for the benefit of all.

Liberty is the condition in which our individual aspirations are enjoyed, (but not guaranteed).

Law is the attempt by community to preserve Liberty when two or more of the community come into conflicts of interest and clashes of individual Liberty.

Common sense may vary with period and culture, but in the end it resolves to the exercise of violence to establish and maintain order. Violence is a general term which includes many levels of persuasion, coercion and force.

The dominant individuals of the True Pacifist and the True Tyrant will each attempt to dominate all others in order to achieve their ambitions. Ultimately, an argument pressed by one True Believer or the Other will fail with the Advocate's demise or succeed upon the Antagonist's demise. The Advocate who will not exert deadly force will always fall to the one who has no such reluctance. The True Tyrant will always destroy the True Pacifist because the Pacifist's reliance upon opinion and persuasion, rejecting violence even in defense from annihilation is perfectly suicidal.

Common sense moderates the killing fields. The Movers and Shakers cannot achieve their ambitions if they have no resources. Their resources are the product of the labor of those who are not Movers and Shakers. One cannot mine and refine wealth, build railroads and cities, conquer other Movers and Shakers and take

their stuff without that vast resource of intellect, hands, feet, sweat and submission to central rule.

"From each according to his abilities and to each according to his needs" pretty much sums up the "common sense" of the Movers and Shakers. Of course, "abilities" and "needs" are defined by the Movers and Shakers. The United States Government has made this point very clear in their policy statement regarding taxation of the Labor of the People in stating, "Our policies are careful to allow common citizens to keep enough of their earnings to acquire the minimum requirements of life." This statement in context related to "who is the owner of the wages and other earnings of the common American?".

Our institutions, including our courts, have evolved to determine that all property, whether land, money or labor cannot exist in the hands of the individual without the intervention and security of the State (government).

This means that the government is the actual owner of our labor and property and we are offered the privilege of utilizing some part of our wealth and labor only under the regulation and limits established under the policies of the Movers and Shakers.

What we consider Liberty has been re-defined as "Structured Liberty". That is, individual conduct is permitted which furthers the policies and ambitions of the Movers and Shakers of our society.

Our population is composed 90% or greater of peaceful, cooperative and productive people who could, but would never use force or violence to achieve their life's ambitions. The remainder of our population is composed of those Movers and Shakers who will kill everyone if necessary, to establish and maintain their ambitious policies over the rest of us.

They believe that their ideas for the Welfare of Society, guided by their own ambitions, justify the subjugation by whatever violence is necessary to achieve compliance and submission by the great majority of Americans. Our peaceful and passive nature permits our domination and assures the elimination of the noncompliant and un-submissive.

These conditions reduce the options of Free men and women to two only: Accept "Structured Liberty", submit our life to centrally managed regulation or in the only alternate, utilize appropriate violence in the necessary defense of individual Rights and Liberty.

When is it reasonable to shoot a cop, hang a judge or destroy any other tool of tyranny?

StoptheDrugWar.org Newt Gingrich Wants to Kill Dealers, Drug Test Everybody Else

By Scott MOrgan Ever since Newt Gingrich became the latest front-runner for the republican presidential nomination, a lot of people have been reminding us how horrible he is on drug policy issues.

Heck, even Next Gingrich has been reminding us how horrible Newt Gingrich is on drug policy issues: “I think the California experience is that medical marijuana becomes a joke.”

“My general belief is that we ought to be much more aggressive about drug policy.”

“In my mind it means having steeper economic penalties and it means having a willingness to do more drug testing.”

“I think if you are, for example, the leader of a cartel, sure.” (When asked if he supports killing drug smugglers) “Places like Singapore have been the most successful at doing that. They’ve been very draconian. And they have communicated with great intention that they intend to stop drugs from coming into their country.” [Yahoo News] Well yeah, by hanging people. They’ve been killing people for marijuana, which can’t even kill you by itself. And photo by Gage Skidmore Newt Gingrich thinks that’s cool, even though he himself has smoked marijuana. It makes you wonder why Newt Gingrich doesn’t go track down the people who gave him marijuana in college…and kill them.

Seriously, this guy is such a screwball he should be hosting a show on AM radio, not polling in first place among republican presidential candidates. I mean, Singapore? Really? I’ve been following the drug war debate for a long time, and I’ve seen a lot of the worst drug warriors in the world perform live: John Walters, Bill Bennett, Nora Volkow, David Murray, Kevin Sabet, to name a few, but I’ve never heard anyone come along saying that we need to be more like Singapore.

It’s an idea so violently ignorant, so recklessly unhinged, that only a lone fool acting alone would propose it, perhaps months after the resignation of the people whose job it is to stop you from saying such things.

(This article was published by StoptheDrugWar.org’s lobbying arm, the Drug Reform Coordination Network, which also shares the cost of maintaining this web site. DRCNet Foundation takes no positions on candidates for public office, in compliance with section 501(c)(3) of the Internal Revenue Code, and does not pay for reporting that could be interpreted or misinterpreted as doing so.)

THIS MONTH’S CORRUPT COPS STORIES

By Phillip Smith Busy, busy! Quite a crew of miscreants this week, including a former national Sheriff of the Year. Let’s get to it: In Littleton, Colorado, a former Arapahoe County sheriff was arrested late last month for trading methamphetamine for sexual favors from young men and hit with additional charges last Friday. Retired Arapahoe County Sheriff Patrick Sullivan, 68, a one-time national “Sheriff of the Year,” was first charged with possession and distribution of meth and now faces additional counts of soliciting a prostitute and attempting to influence a public official.

Two informants told investigators they had sex with Sullivan in exchange for drugs, and one of them agreed to set up a meeting with Sullivan for another tryst. The meeting was videotaped, and Sullivan was arrested after handing drugs over to the snitch. The influencing a public servant charge came from a September incident when a caller reported that “an old guy,” later identified as Sullivan, was trying to get his roommates to use drugs and wouldn’t leave the house. When police arrived, Sullivan falsely told them he was part of a state task force trying to help drug users. At last report, Sullivan was being held on $500,000 bail. Ironically, he is being detained at a jail that bears his name. Police are investigating whether Sullivan was engaged in illegal activity while still sheriff and whether underage boys were involved.

In Marksville, Louisiana, an Avoyelles Parish Detention Center officer was arrested Saturday for bringing drugs into the jail. Guard Jaworski Toussaint, 34, was caught bringing synthetic marijuana and other contraband into the jail. He is charged with introduction of contraband into a penal institution and malfeasance in office.

In Poughkeepsie, New York, a former Poughkeepsie police officer was sentenced December 1 to 3 ½ to 10 ½ years in prison for taking bribes from a cocaine dealer.

David Palazzolo admitted revealing the name of a female undercover officer and identifying a vehicle used for undercover work by the Dutchess County Drug Task Force in exchange for bribes. He earlier pleaded guilty to charges of conspiracy, receiving a bribe, and computer trespass.

In Rochester, New York, an Orleans County sheriff’s correction officer was arrested Sunday for smuggling contraband into the county jail. Guard Shawn Nicholson, 35, was arrested after a weeks-long investigation and went down after a sting operation. He is charged with two counts each of promoting prison contraband, criminal possession of a controlled substance, criminal sale of a controlled substance, conspiracy, and one count official misconduct. Bail was set at $10,000; there is no word on whether he has paid it.

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Even When We Lose, We Win written by Saab Lofton

“Long I pondered my king’s cryptic talk of victory – time has proven him wise ...” – from the movie, 300

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Ever hear of Hero (2002) starring Jet Li? There’s a scene when a calligraphy school was under attack; an entire army bombarded it with arrows, but when the panicked students bolted for the door, their teacher stood in the doorway momentarily and scowled at them. Then this teacher sat in front of his class and resumed painting Chinese characters – even though arrows were falling all around him... ...in Hero, that calligraphy school was destroyed and nearly everyone inside had been killed, but the example that teacher set was so inspiring, those students returned to their seats as well. Death before dishonor.

I’m all too aware of how America loves a winner and hates a loser, but courage isn’t about winning. Courage is about doing the right thing whether you win or not.

Take New Orleans District Attorney Jim Garrison (1921 - 1992): When Garrison accused the C.I.A. of assassinating President Kennedy during his trial against Clay Shaw in the late 1960s, he lost, but thanks to the Oliver Stone film based on him, the truth was brought to light.

As a result, only an inbred retard would ever believe a bullet could magically zig-zag in mid-air as the Warren Commission claimed...

“A hero(ine) is no braver than an ordinary man/woman, but he/she is brave for a few minutes longer.” – a paraphrased quote from Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882) ...a few minutes longer, or in Garrison’s case, a few DECADES longer, but y’all get the idea...

And yes, I know this flies in the face of America’s notorious penchant for instant gratification, but that’s juvenile. In fantasy, any problem can be solved with a fist fight or a car chase. In reality, good things take time. For example...

According to Ken Butigan’s Pilgrimage Through a Burning World, “the U.S. Peace Movement played a key role in ending the Cold War,” and Butigan backs this up by citing a series of historians – including Lawrence S. Wittner, author of The Struggle Against the Bomb: “In his book, Wittner argues that the missing ingredient in any explanation of this reality is the world nuclear disarmament movement that has mobilized millions of people around the world.

Wittner confesses that he hadn’t expected to reach this conclusion. He assumed that the antinuclear movement had failed because nuclear weapons had not been definitively abolished.

Yet as he pursued his research, he came to understand that this ‘people power’ movement had played an important role in curbing the nuclear arms race and preventing nuclear war.” ...and the aforementioned is backed up by CNN itself...

“While [Doctor Helen Caldicott] was president [of Physicians for Social Responsibility] from 1978 through 1984, the group grew to 23,000 physician members and in 1985 shared in a Nobel Peace Prize with International Physicians for the Prevention of Nuclear War. ‘We led the nuclear weapons freeze movement with many other professional groups,’ she said, ‘I think we helped end the Cold War.’” – CNN, March 25th, 2011 ...those who CONtinue to assume “that the anti-nuclear movement had failed because nuclear weapons had not been definitively abolished” are utterly insatiable. Well, this is for those of you who, like Janet Jackson, sing, “What Have You Done For Me Lately?”

“I’m writing with great news! Over 7,000 [Nuclear Age Peace Foundation] Action Alert Network members wrote to President Obama in response to our alert about the planned US Minuteman III nuclear-capable missile test on the International Day of Peace [September 21st, 2011]... The Air Force Global Strike Command announced that the test has been postponed.

The International Day of Peace will now be a more peaceful day. Although the government is unlikely to ever admit it, I see this as evidence that your messages do make a difference. This is a small victory, but with your continued support there will be bigger victories to follow.” – Rick Wayman, director of the Nuclear Age Peace Foundation I love it: “Although the government is unlikely to ever admit it, I see this as evidence that your messages do make a difference.” This is why the FALSELY accused Troy Davis was executed on, ironically enough, September 21st; the International Day of Peace: If the racist state of Georgia had let him live, it’d be acknowledging the MILLIONS who demanded that he be spared.

Similarly, the Bush Administration invaded Iraq a month after the largest anti-war marches in Human history (February 15th, 2003), because if it hadn’t, it’d appear to be subservient to the Peace Movement.

We only swing at insects which bug us. Otherwise, they’re beneath our notice. Likewise, the rich/powerful (the right-wing) will only react to that which is threatening, so instead of wallowing in depression over how SUPPOSEDLY ineffective the poor/oppressed (the leftwing) is, take heart. Look at the glass half-full for a change and admit that even when we lose, we win.

“If you assume there’s no hope, you guarantee there will be no hope. If you assume there are opportunities to change things, then there’s a possibility you can contribute to making a better world.” – Professor Noam Chomsky

THE SEATTLE SINNER

Anniversary Show 2011 Ten fucking years of Independent publishing... Nine amazing anniversary shows, since we missed having one last year while we kept the head of this beast above the blood-red waters of doom. I’m as speechless a month later looking at these photos as I was that night at the Two Bit Saloon when Paul Huggy Blow pulled me on stage to say a few words. All I could really muster was a humble, “Thank You!” to the amazing crowd who came out to support these great acts – and win a few sex toys and water pipes, of course. And that’s about all I can come up with today, a Huge Thanks to all the Seattle bands, artists, performers and advertisers who have been behind us for so long!

Hard Count

Jeremy wheeler photography

Tina D photography

Tina D photography

s t e ut m ic a J nn u H Tina D photography

Hosted by

Big Wheel Stunt Show

Georgia Myles

Tina D photography

Jeremy wheeler photography

Hot Roddin Romeos

Noel Austin's Phreaks

Hard Money Saints

Tina D photography Spiderface

Jeremy wheeler photography

Jeremy wheeler photography

UP ALL NIGHT.... photos: John D. Williams December 17th Chrome Molly AC/DC Tribute & More HD Hotspurs 315 S. Washington Ave in Kent, WA 9pm/21+/NC www.hdhotspursbbq.com December 18th Little Bill & The Blue Notes, Blues/Jazz HD Hotspurs 315 S. Washington Ave in Kent, WA 6pm to 9pm Dinner Show www.hdhotspursbbq.com December 23rd Cozy Crush Classic/Pop/Rock All-Star Sports Bar 22303 Marine View Dr S in Des Moines 9pm/21+/NC December 31st Dance Maxx Pop Rock Covers/Dance 315 S. Washington Ave in Kent, WA 9pm/21+/$15.00 Couples $20.00 www.hdhotspursbbq.com January 6th Accidental Heroes Classic Pop Rock All-Star Sports Bar 22303 Marine View Dr S in Des Moines 9pm/21+/NC

Collection

January 17th Cold Shot Classic Southern Rock HD Hotspurs 315 S. Washington Ave in Kent, WA 9pm/21+/ $2 www.hdhotspursbbq.com January 8th Maia Santell & House Blues HD Hotspurs 315 S. Washington Ave in Kent, WA 6pm To 9pm Dinner Show, NC www.hdhotspursbbq.com January 14th Skybridge Blues & Classic Rock HD Hotspurs 315 S. Washington Ave in Kent, WA 9pm/21+/$2 www.hdhotspursbbq.com January 15th Brian Lee & The Orbiters HD Hotspurs 315 S. Washington Ave in Kent, WA 6pm To 9pm 21+ Dinner Show, NC

Marie DeMars and Elle Adorabelle @ Urban Cabaret - November 12, 2011

Midori, author of The Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage, @ Shameless Grounds with owners Andy and Michelle

Lokis Own and Cynder Ella @ November Subversion

“Merry Christmas, Baby!”

WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE! I’m dedicating this month’s Huggy Talk column to the mighty Guns N’ Roses since I just read Duff McKagan’s new book, It’s So Easy: and other lies, and it reminded me of the days of old when Guns N’ Roses were the coolest hard rock band in the land. A compelling read, It’s So Easy chronicles Duff’s early days as a musician in the Seattle punk rock scene, his rise to fame as bassist for GNR, his battles with the demon alcohol (ten bottles of wine a day?), his exploding pancreas, and finally his redemption as he gained sobriety and found a new way to live with the help of his family, martial arts, and cross-country bike riding. I love rock’n’roll stories of redemption, and Duff wrote this book in a humble way, unlike his ex-band mate Stephen Adler whose own book, My Appetite for Destruction, read like an egotistical, sordid letter to the Penthouse forums. I could only stomach ten pages of the Adler book, but I give Duff three thumbs up for It’s So Easy, and I have gained a whole new respect for the man after reading The Book of Duff it.

Speaking of Guns N’ Roses, they are finally coming back to Seattle on December 16th, and you better believe I will be there at the Key Arena to bear witness. True, this ain’t the original GNR that we all know and love—rather it’s the “Axl Rose show”— but I’ve long been a fan of Axl Rose and I even liked the Chinese Democracy album. I honestly believe Axl is one of the greatest vocalists in modern rock history, and he scores bonus points in my book for his impeccable taste in rock’n’roll fashion and for making the wearing of bandanas cool again. Axl Rose may be one of the hardest-to-work-with prima donnas in rock history, but he actually has the talent to get away with it. Still, the questions remain: Can Axl still sing? Will he fall off the stage? Will he be three hours late? Will he wear a bandana, corn rows, or both?

Is Buckethead still in the band, and if so, does he prefer Original Recipe or Extra Crispy KFC buckets? Those questions and others will be answered in next months column, I promise you...

Axl sings for the 99 percent.

HUGGY BLOW’S ROCK STAR OF THE MONTH: Slash: In keeping with the GNR theme, who else but my main man Slash could be my rock star pick? Slash became a genuine rock star and made a name for himself in the legendary Guns N’ Roses, of course. Funny thing is, back in the day I always thought Izzy Stradlin was the cool guy of GNR, but Izzy clearly did not want to be a rock star and he left the band.

I’ve since learned to appreciate the rock solid skills of Slash—his song writing, his beautiful lead work, and of course his hard rocking rhythm playing—and I now consider Slash to be the coolest rock guitarist of the last 15 years. Slash himself is heavily influenced by the idols (Keith Richards, Johnny Thunders, Joe Perry), but he’s been able to come up with a style all his own and has one of the most unique images in modern rock, what with his curly locks that always seem to cover his face, his black leather jacket, his trademark top hat, and of course—his Gibson Les Paul. Slash is a genuine rock super star, an amazing player, and he’s cool, baby… cool enough to be my Rock Star of the Month.

Paul Diamond Blow works as a part time hustler when he’s not writing for the Sinner.

His new book “Tales From Outer Space” is available at paulblow.tripod.com

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Slash: sweet leads are made of this...

12/8 Thurs - Saints and Sinners Rockabilly and Western night with Roy Kay 12/9 Fri - Randy Hicks Band, Vigilante Justice, Industry People $5 12/10 Sat - Atomic Outlaws, The Ram Rams, The Skullets $5 12/12 Metal Mondays - Juda’s Wake, Royalty in Ruins, The Loathsome Couple $5 12/13 Tues - Two Tone Tuesday with Jet City Sound 12/15 Thurs - 08:00 BRANDON AND ERINS GOING AWAY BASH AND BDAY PARTY / Thuder Pussy Thursday 12/16 Fri - The Pinellas (w/ rob femur), Torch Burner, Blue Ribbon Boys, The Aimlows $6 12/17 Sat - 08:00 Shell Coporation, Suburban Vermin, Tokyo Raid, Random Orbits $6 12/19 Metal Mondays - on stage: Salo, Krylon Smyle, Machete Congetti $5 12/23 Fri - 08:00 2 Bit Ho Ho Ho Christmas Celebration featuring Artimus Maximus, Spillbillies, Peopletank 12/26 Metal Mondays on stage: G.R.A.V.E.S., Nekro Morphosis, Thou Shall Kill $5 12/27 Tue - I’m in Love, 80’s night with Strawberry 12/30 Fri - No World, Alex’s Hand & more 12/31 Sun -NYE PARTY featuring Zero Down, Deadly Light, Dying Off 1/2 Metal Mondays 1/27 Fri - Dirty Filthy Mugs with Graceland 5, The Deadless, The Aimlows, Rory OK and the Worst Band Ever

METAL MONDAYS It’s Time To Bang Your Head Every Monday Night @ 2 Bit

myspace.com/stlouissinner - myspace.com/seattlesinner

ST LO UIS

2 Year Anniversary photos by Ricky Sherman

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, FOX!

If there’s one person who knows how to throw a B-Day party, it’s the amazing Al Swacker! And man, he provided the guests with an incredible night of babes, booze and kick-ass Rock and Roll – as promised!

With musical acts like Devil Baby Freak Show, The UnMutuals, and Tok, the packed house barely got a chance to breath between sets. And when they did, the burlesque of Alley Gorey, Greta Garter, and Rayna Skye took what little breath they had left.

We can’t wait till next year!

Reunion Show @ The Funhouse 11-11-11 Tina D Photography

SAT DECEMBER 10th Cozgrove; The Cathoholics; Ando Ehlers Death Polka! @ Galway Arms 5257 University Wy NE in Seattle 21+, 9:30pm, $5

FRIDAY JANUARY 27th Dirty Filthy Mugs (LA); The Aimlows; The Deadless; Rory Ok And The Worst Band Ever @ 2Bit Saloon 4818 17th Ave NW in Ballard 21+, 9pm, $7

FRIDAY DECEMBER 16th The Aimlows; Blue Ribbon Boys; The Piniellas; Torch Burner @ 2Bit Saloon 4818 17th Ave NW in Ballard 21+, 9pm, $6

SATURDAY JANUARY 28th Dirty Filthy Mugs (LA); Triple Sixes; The Randalls; Suburban Vermin @ Tony V’s Garage 1712 Hewitt Ave in Everett 21+, 9pm, $7

SATURDAY DECEMBER 17th Shell Corporation; Tokyo Raid (Sf); Random Orbits; Suburban Vermin; The Loss @ 2Bit Saloon 4818 17th Ave NW in Ballard 21+, 9pm, $7 TUESDAY DECEMBER 20th “CHAOS XMAS POTLUCK” The Deadless; Sugar Burger + Guests Hosted By Seattle’s Own El Caballero @ The Funhouse 206 5th Ave N 21+, 9:30pm, $5

We busted our asses driving 2,400 miles across country, day and night for two straight days, to catch William Shatner command the SPACE CRETINS to rise once again for one final reunion show – and it was worth every swerve of the wheel!

SATURDAY DECEMBER 31st NEW YEAR’S EVE HOUSE PARTY The Whorewoods; Jorge Klooney & The Acid Zombies (Longview); Violent Expulsion; SBR; 9 Lb Beaver; Ando Ehlers Death Polka!

Hosted By Seattle’s Own El Caballero @ Deloren House 1225 S. Southern Street (South Park) All Ages, 7pm-6am, Free, Outdoor Stage, Bonfires, Byob

FRIDAY FEB 10th Local Chaos, Seattle Sinner, KGRG 89.9fm and Jagermeister Present 9th Annual SEATTLE SKA FEST Day 1 Lineup And More To Be Announced Soon @ The Funhouse 206 5th Ave N 21+, 8pm, $10 SATURDAY FEB 11th Local Chaos, Seattle Sinner, KGRG 89.9fm and Jagermeister Present 9th Annual SEATTLE SKA FEST Day 2 Lineup And More To Be Announced Soon @ Mirkwood And Shire Cafe 117 E Division St, Arlington, WA All Ages/ Bar with ID, 5pm, $12 Stayed tuned for a lot more tasty shows to be announced soon including CHAOSPALOOZA and SEATTLE PSYCHOBILLY BRAWL! Thanks for the support.

Hope to see you at a show soon.

www.facebook.com/local.chaos.greg - www.twitter.com/localchaosshows www.localchaosproductions.com - www.myspace.com/localchaosproductions

www.reverbnation.com/spacecretins

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myspace.com/stlouissinner - myspace.com/seattlesinner

On The Scene with Moe Holmes Frontman For Scene Of Irony

I

've been friends with Moe for quite awhile now. We see each other out and about at various venues to see other friends of ours play, but I wanted to find out a little more about him and his band mates, so I shot him a list of random questions and this is what he replied...

What do each of you do for a day job? What pays the bills?

Moe- Licensed plumber/ Donnell- waiter/ Shawn- supervisor at AT&T/ Shaughnessy- delivery driver What's the story behind the band's name?

Donnell and Moe were driving to a Prince concert and the radio personality said "Oh my, that's a scene of irony!" then Donnell said that should be the name of our band.

And the rest is history.

What motivates your music?

Life experiences. We pride ourselves in being honest in our lyrics.

Who were your childhood influences?

Moe- The Ramones & The Clash/ Donnell- George Clinton & Parliament Funkadelic/ Shawn- The Melvins/ Shaughnessy- Van Halen & Black Flag Do all of you have a hand in writing the songs, or do you have one primary songwriter?

We all had our own parts to songs but, Moe writes all the lyrics.

What keeps you grounded when your world falls apart and it all goes to Hell?

We have band practice and everything seems to be tolerable then.

I'm an ink freak, so I've gotta ask: How many tats and piercings have you got? Where are they? What are they?

Donnelll and Shaughnessy don't have any. Shawn has four. One on each of his legs. One behind his left ear of a star and one his right shoulder of his cat Charmin.

Moe has six. One on the back of his neck of the "Black Flag" bars, one on his left arm of "GBH", two on his right forearm which says "Scene of irony" and "STL" and one on his right wrist of barbed wire. And one on his right shoulder that says "Jill" of his wife.

What's your favorite venue?

Shaughnessy- Ratch Shack in Sullivan, Mo./ DonnellThe Pageant/ Shawn- Pop's/ Moe- Mardi Krawlers in Alton, Il. If you could share a stage with any of your musical influences, who would it be?

Shawn- The Melvins/ Shaughnessy- The Urge/ DonnellParliament Funkadelic/ Moe- GBH (It happened in 2007 at Pop's) *What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever been asked to sign?

Donnell- a dollar bill after a girl did a "line"/ Shaughnessy-

converse shoes/ Moe- boobs/ Shawn- Scene of irony set list after a show I want to hear funny stories that you have of your fellow musicians...NO TRASH TALKING... anecdotes, shared experiences, how they influenced you, embarrassing moments you might want to share....

Moe- I went to hang out with Josh Herr R.I.P.(formerly of 360 smile) at Pop's and he lied to his girlfriend saying we were somewhere else and she called me and I told her where we were not knowing that he lied to her and he got in trouble and blamed me for it/ Shaughnessy- almost getting in a fight with the guys of Opposites' Attack at The Way Out Club 4 years ago while opening for Kristeen Young/ Shawn- getting his $2500.00 guitar broken while doing a Halloween show with The Scam at Lemmons last year/ Donnell- being permantly banned from Pop's except for when Scene of Irony is performing. (Epic Fail!)

Moe's always good for an entertaining story! ************************************************************ November was a GREAT month for shows! One of our favorite hangouts is The Crack Fox, where our friend Carrie Harris is the main attraction slinging drinks. And last month Ockum's Razor put on one-hell-of an intense performance. Most definitely A BAND YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT. Their singer Christopher Davis and I have been friends on Facebook forever, but I had never seen his band play before. They were AMAZING, very tight musically, and each one of them gives a memorable performance. I can't wait to see them again!

The show I had been anticipating for months finally arrived: Warner Drive, with special guests, their touring buddies, Acidic from LA, and Dirty King at The Firebird!

If I don't see another show all year, I won't care. Their performances are, without fail, an incredible adrenaline rush! I've seen them 3 times and I've loved every second of every show every time. My Homie, Elvis, has some of the BEST stage moves I have ever seen while Candice lends glamour to the act, and the new guitarist Ryan is quite flashy to watch, too. Then there was Jonny U bangin' King Hell out of his drums, and Jonny Law giving one of the most dynamic performances I've seen in a long time. The place was packed with a hugely enthusiastic crowd, but by far the biggest fans were the guys from Dirty King who were all in the front row singing along.

It was a thrill to hear some of their older songs, the ever popular "Shocker", and "All By Myself", as well as great tunes from their new CD K-GO, like "Scarecrow" and "Brandie Is a C***", dedicated to his ex, who must be an extraordinary bitch. And they ended the show with one of my favorites, "Metal Bridge". I hated for the night to end, but I had to work the next day and be happy about being there. I wish we could have stayed for more than a couple songs by Dirty King, they're really good, too. I would definitely go see them again sometime! We said our goodbyes and got a picture with Jonny Law... LIFE IS GOOD and I'm still all giddy and stuff.

Hope to see you all out on the scene somewhere!

Malice

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myspace.com/stlouissinner - myspace.com/seattlesinner

Raising Hell With Guitar Doug “We played a Buzz Scooter Club party in an abandoned building with 64 Spiders. On the way to the gig, we bought a sheet of windowpane acid, 100 hits. At the party, we dissolved the acid into the punch bowl. People were drinking kegger cups full of this shit...”

F-Holes Celebrate 28 Years of Being Misunderstood It was 5 years ago this month that I sat down to write my first column for The Sinner, which was due January 1st. I had no clue to what I was doing at the time and to a large extent still don’t, but figured if I could at least cover the bands who were actually liked by the core Seattle rock club attendees, I would at least be doing something productive and possibly even helpful. Come to find out, finding 5 years worth of bands the readers are not going to roll their eyes at when they see the name on the cover, is not as easy as it sounds.

The other issue is to avoid the perception we are running a clique, which is why you have read stories in the past 12 months alone covering bands as diverse as Spiderface, James Hunnicutt, Hard Money Saints, the Screaming Starts, Hot Roddin’ Romeos and Piston Ready. It’s impossible to find a pattern amongst these bands which is what keeps this column fresh for the readers and keeps me interested as the writer.

This month’s band has always been one of my ace-in-the-hole bands, because they are universally liked at the clubs, even if the music style might not be your particular cup of tea. Truth is, there’s really not a bad thing you can say about the F-Holes, and when coming up with my Christmas issue band, it was the F-Holes who came to mind to spread the holiday cheer.

The F-Holes’ first show was November 26, 1984, some 28 years ago. Lucky Tony, Stringtie and John Mooney (the original drummer) played 3 songs at the Rockabilly Jam. Founding member, Stringtie, describes the band’s music as a blend of Garage, Acid Rock, 70’s Southern Rock, 60’s Pop, post-punk, pregrunge, Swampy Blues, Trash and Glam, Folk, Country and Hillbilly.

Along the way, The F-Holes have played shows with Soundgarden, Grunt Truck, U-Men, Green River, Refuzors, Girl Trouble, Supersuckers, Tex and the Horseheads, Dead Moon, Napalm Beach, Jackals, and Fastbacks, just to name a few.

Around the time Grunge was being presented as the hip new thing by the mainstream media, the band took a decade off “for rehab, failed marriages and dead-end careers”, as Stringtie puts it.

In August 2007 the Crocodile Café hosted Geezerfest and the F-Holes were asked to play.

Since then, the band has begun playing regularly again, and are a staple of the Seattle rock clubs once again. They are also working on a new album, which the band talks about in the interview below.

If you think about it, some of the members of the bands I have covered in past issues, such as The Blue Ribbon Boys, The Pranks, and The Valkyries, were not even born yet or were just young children when the F-Holes first began playing the Seattle rock clubs, it’s really amazing. I am no kid myself, either, and am hardly judging the band. I think it’s great, actually.

It says a lot for the Seattle rock scene and the band itself and several others who have been around since the 80s and still playing. If you can keep it fresh and keep it real, you can take a decade off and return whenever you like, reclaiming your spot on the stage at the rock clubs.

Let’s see what Tony, Robert and Stringtie have to say about where the band has been and where it is going as we wrap up another year of

Raising Hell With Guitar Doug - The Rock Music Column.

Merry Christmas to all my monthly readers and I’ll see you back here in 2012.

What is your fondest Christmas memory?

Stringtie: We played a Buzz Scooter Club party in an abandoned building with 64 Spiders. On

when they tore that place down. This was in 1984, back when you hipsters were still crappin’ in your diapers and sucking breakfast out of your mama’s knockers.

Tony: The Christmas at The 5-O Tavern where I was playing outside on the sidewalk on a long cord, getting in fights and going to jail and pissing off the bookers.

countered in the last 28 years. Sure we used to wear pompadours, western shirts and shit kickers but we’ve been a Rock n Roll band since the beginning.

Tell us about the new album.

Stringtie: It’s about the hot mess of ex girlfriends we’ve had over the years. You know, the kind that have a tendency to start a bar fight, or hit you in the head with your guitar when you’re asleep, or stab you with a high heel and send your crazy ass to jail. Love songs really. It’s called F-Holes Greatest Tits and will be out on vinyl for Spring 2012.

What are your favorite Seattle rock bands and why?

Tony: The U-men, Refuzors, Napalm Beach, these are my favorite NW bands. The mods, the rockabillys, the punks. Other guys back from the day that can’t seem to quit either like Tommy Gunn and Chris Newman The NW rivals and their original bands The Cowboys, Moberleys and The Heats.

Robert: I liked Girl Trouble from the first time I saw them. Great go-go music with a fun bouncy vibe. They would throw out toys to the audience, I had a collection of parachute army men, little cars etc... The best part was that the “pre mosh pit” crowd, if someone went down people around them would help that person up and continue the slam. That was cool.

Stringtie: The Jackels from Portland. Great American roots rock played at punk rock speed. Nasty Habit. Chicks with dicks playing the hits from the 80’s.

What news do you have about what the band is doing in 2011?

We’ve been playing a lot of shows and writing new material. The most important thing is that we keep progressing, we write new songs and recycle and revamp the old ones to keep it fresh. We continue to gain new fans and our older ones are bringing their kids to our shows.

We have a song on the international release of That’s Dadastic compilation (dadastic.com/thatsdadastic/) along with old school Seattle bands Red Dress, Visible Targets and Student Nurse.

And we will be printing more F-Hole panties. Our fans keep wearing theirs out…

F-Holes are: Lucky Tony Mathews - Guitar/Vocals Otis P Otis - Lead Guitar Stringtie - Bass Robert Gutierrez - Drums Upcoming Shows: Jan 14 - Slim’s Last Chance for Otis P Otis’ Birthday with Crimany and D3D Jan 21 - Bogarts w/Gnarlene and the Frisky Pigs

the way to the gig we bought a sheet of windowpane acid, 100 hits. At the party we dissolved the acid into the punch bowl. People were drinking kegger cups full of this shit. By the time we finished our set everyone was just flying, wandering around lost on the upper floors like wide eyed zombies. I wonder how many bodies they found

How would you describe the bands music?

Stringtie: It’s a blend of Garage, Acid Rock, 70’s Southern Rock, 60’s Pop, post-punk, pre-grunge, Swampy Blues, Trash and Glam, Folk, Country and Hillbilly. We are not a rockabilly band. That is the most common misperception we’ve en-

Feb 4 - Darrell’s Tavern 2nd Anniversary with Jaguar Paw and Speed Mop Songs, videos and photos at reverbnation.com/ fholesseattle and on F-Book Merry F-Mas and a Rockin’ 2012 to All!

SHATTERMASK At POP’s

Local metal invaded POP’S on Saturday, December 3rd, and it was welcomed by over 300 head-bangin’ mosh-pittin’ fans!

Although I missed some of my favorite acts – Saence, D-Railed, Bare Knuckle Conflict and Habit of Force – due to scheduling conflicts, we did arrive in time to catch the headliner, Shattermask.

These guys have played with everyone, including Marilyn Manson, Seether, Ice-T, Kittie, and Monstrosity, just to name a few – and for good reason, these guys rock, and rock hard from start to finish! And you have to love the drum kit, too!

Skinny Jim & The Number 9 Blacktops @ OFF BROADWAY This was perhaps the biggest show in St. Louis on Saturday, Dec. 3rd, The Trip Daddy’s CD release show with Skinny Jim and Bass Amp & Dano opening up.

This Illinois band has been dubbed “Hot-Rod Rockabilly” for their “high octane” performances, and there’s not a better way to put it! Look for them to roll through St. Louis again real soon.

“Ultimately, American pride is our agenda... oh, and Chip Z’Nuff sucks...”

Interview by Chuck Foster shivved in the side while on stage. True story..

I have heard through the rock-n-roll grapevine that you guys actually have a rotating list of musicians,. Is that true?

In the beginning there were more players rotating through, but as of lately, DK has been holding down drums. Matt Bug and Jeff Bug have been playing with us for a bit here and there, but we’ve also had the likes of Mario Viele (Sex Robots), Eric Von Damage (Bunnygrunt), Joe Kessler (Freud’s Mom), John Seiber (Hathead Jones), and Jeff Hess (Tight Pants Syndrome). Last October, we even had Poncho (Poncho’s Inflatable Beef Trapeze) come on the road with us on back up saxophone! As for a set group? Yeah, I dunno, seems like a lot of work... we’re happy with the way things are..

Putting BassAmp & Dano in a box is like trying to beat a square box through a round hole, it only works if you smash the hell out of the square in a drunken rage – and then you’re likely to cause bodily harm in the process. Their unique sound resonates old-school punk, yet is peppered with an outlandish patriotic-style rock-n-roll. It’s like some mad rock scientist took a bit of Hank III’s DNA and mixed it with a bit of Mike Ness’ and Jello Biafra’s. Sounds strange, right? And that it is. Strange enough to make me want to sit down with them for a few minutes before their show at Off Broadway this month and hash out a few questions. And it went something like this...

Tell me something guys, how the Hell did you guys come up with this act?

Dano and I met back in the summer of 1994 in Mexican Hat, Utah (it’s real...look it up!) when we were on the traveling carnival circuit. Biting the heads off of chickens and such.. We ended up spending a lot of time with Chip Z’Nuff... He was in that band, Enuff Z’Nuff... Seems like those guys played every carnival or state fair we worked...

Anyway, we were watching Chip Z’Nuff play one night and I thought to myself, “If Chip Z’Nuff has the balls to get out there and do that, looking the way he does with a complete lack of self awareness, then I could totally get away with it too!”..

So I approached Dano about starting a band.. He said “Why Not? It’s not like anyone could suck worse than Enuff Z’Nuff, right?!” So we ripped off a bunch of gear from Enuff Z’Nuff, and began traveling the country, writing little rock n roll sing-a-longs about Drinking and Partying, and all things AMERICAN! ...and Chip Z’Nuff had to

move back in with his mom... what a douche!

I have to ask this question, how did you guys come up with the name, the concept?

My name is BassAmp.. and he’s Dano.. as far as concept goes, we have two messages that we’re trying to get across: 1: Be a proud American! America is the greatest country on this or any other planet and has shined as a beacon of freedom in an unfree world for more than two centuries... Ultimately, American pride is our agenda... oh, and Chip Z’Nuff sucks... that’s number two..

2. Chip Z’nuff, of Enuff Z’Nuff, totally sucks!

Both as a musician and as a person. If you see him in public, punch’em in the stomach for us! Send us a photo of it and we’ll send you stuff!

I caught you guys at El Leñador a few months back. You (Bass) seemed pretty wasted. Is that type of debauchery a typical set for Bass Amp and Dano?

Yes! Very typical! There will usually be some form of rowdy shenanigans going on...Dano once got

What about an album?

We write faster than we record (and faster than those jerks from Enuff Z’Nuff!) We’ve written close to 50 songs so far, and we’ve recorded 20 of them... now we’re gonna sift through and piece something together... look for a release in the late spring, as for now there’s stuff available on the interwebs.

Describe “BassAmp & Dano” in one sentence?

BassAmp and Dano are, thankfully, better than

Enuff Z’Nuff!

What can someone expect at a B&D show?

Probably a lot of spilled beer... and ringing in your ears.

What’s the biggest misconception about being in a R&R band like BassAmp & Dano?

That you have to work hard in a band. You don’t.

You just show up and they practically throw money at you, which is awesome, ‘cause money comes in handy when you’re partying with naked chicks in expensive hotels all the time.

Who’s your top 5 local bands?

BassAmp: Otto’s Revenge, The Nads, Last Year’s Youth, Ultrafink, Bomb Guam.

Dano: El Gordo’s Revenge, The Whole Sick Crew, Nineteen, The Pubes, Johnny Magnet What about sin, which are you most guilty of?

Gluttony. We both enjoy things in excess... which is why we have 5 guitar players. But we don’t like the band INXS. They suck.

What about NYE/XMAS, are you guys playing any gigs?

Yeah, Dan Kelley asked us to play at some Christmas Benefit show (Dec. 16th @ 2720 Cherokee).. .I think its for charity or something..

Any last thoughts to share with our readers, or B&D news?

Yeah, Gold is a much more viable investment than stocks... And Chip Z’Nuff sucks. I’m calling for a boycott of all things Enuff Z’Nuff related..

Fuck’em..

Last, how can someone find more about the band/merch/shows?

I dunno. Google us! We’re on Fartbook and Twatter...

Bah Humbug! written by John Fox

O

nce again the ritualistic, seasonal, corporate flogging of our pocket books has begun in full force. This is the time of year when marketing divisions roll up their sleeves, get in the ring and fucking brawl for our hard earned dollars.

Everyone from high-end executives and part-time receptionists to office workers and crack-head temps throw themselves directly into the middle of a two month long battle royale that begins the second they sober up from Halloween to the day after Christmas. They would rather die than see my money be spent somewhere else.

It’s been a while since I’ve actually celebrated Christmas or Thanksgiving. Last year, I was in the ICU unit of a Chicago Hospital coming to terms with a nasty disease for Thanksgiving. Christmas was spent at a movie theatre from the second they opened to the last showing, eating popcorn and downing cup after cup of diet soda.

Pretty tame stuff compared to what I had been accustomed to growing up. Drunk members of my family fist fighting in the back yard and throwing each other over fences, getting lost in the woods behind my grandma’s house after dark with my cousins and having police and search dogs come out to find us, spoiled asshole cousins breaking their new, expensive toys over their knees and throwing fits. All fun times I’d much rather forget.

The last time I actually celebrated Christmas was my first one in Chicago in 2005. I was forced to by the dumb bitch I was dating and her wealthy, over-bearing parents. The ground was pitch white with fresh snow and I was stuck in a large, million dollar cabin with a bunch of imbeciles, senior citizens, rich people and my insane friend, Jenny, who was visiting from Seattle.

Jessica (dumb bitch) pretty much refused to leave for days on end and I was forced to stay because we were out in the middle of nowhere in freezing temperatures and I was without a car.

Jen got picked up by a friend of ours, ditching me with a bunch of people who had fully bought into the “plastic,” high-end, corporate lifestyle. I was disgusted and wanted out.

The only good thing that came out of this experience was the fact that for the first time ever, I was asked to make up a wish list before getting everything that I’d written down a month later.

Even the really expensive crap that I would never actually consider using like top shelf cologne, $300 bath robes and towels, IKEA gift cards and shit like that came into my possession from people that I’d never even knew existed before that day.

Fake, plastic love.

I still think about the time when my drunken friends and I dragged down that thirty-foot tree with the winch from his truck and how the cops couldn’t find us. I’ll cheer on anyone who anonymously fire bombs any major, corporate department store and pump my fist every single time I hear anything negative about the most depressing holiday of the year.

Haven’t people really figured out that it is actually a lot more thoughtful to make your gifts for people rather than to just buy them? How about doing something like inviting someone off the street into your home for Christmas dinner?

I guarantee that person would appreciate that simple gesture a lot more than the people you’ve spent all sorts of money on store bought gifts for.

It really doesn’t require much thought to purchase something for someone and nobody should feel guilty if they don’t.

This year, I’m going to continue my Christmas boycott. I was thinking that I would wander around town and pay homeless people to fight with each other for entertainment. Either that or go to the movies all day like I did last year.

Bah Humbug!

Bitching with Buddha Lu c i fe r

Dear Dark Lord Lucifer, The news media are saying that the Occupy Wall Street movement are just a bunch of angry, smelly, hippies with no message, but I’m writing you to tell you that is far from the truth. We have three very clear goals the fat cats on Wall Street and Congress don’t want to be heard.

First, we want to end this game in which our government is for sale to the highest “contributor”, which is never the common guy. The Supreme Court granted “personhood” to corporations allowing them to contribute (invest?) millions, even billions, on congressional races, buying a seat in congress for candidates who they basically own. This must end. It’s government for the PEOPLE. Second, restore the Glass-Seagull Act which brings much needed reform to our predatory banking system and ending the conditions that created the financial crisis which we, the tax payer, had to foot the bill.

Third, we have a Congress that can freely make investments based on information that they acquire from their position on various subcommittees, and even pass Bills that could manipulate the stock market enriching themselves at the expense of the tax payer instead of looking to protect the interest of their constituents. So many congressmen arrive in Washington as members of the working classes and leave as multi-millionaires. This practice should be made illegal.

We are the 99% and we want to end the illegal manipulation and exploitation by the super rich of the financial system and the government at the expense of the working folk.

– Occupy Hades!

Well, OH, A lot of very rich and privileged people stand to be a lot less wealthy and privileged if the Occupy movement succeeds. Hell, they might even have to work for their money. Is it a surprise that even Homeland Security is gunning for you?

The Mayor of Oakland, who staged the mini-war in the heart of that city because of “safety” concerns, was coached by none other than the Department of Homeland Security on how to suppress the Occupy Wall Street movement. 18 cities participated in that conference. I wonder what motivated those mayors to attend?

Perhaps the cutting of various and much needed grant money or some other armtwisting tactic all in the cause of protecting the Big Banks and multi-billionaires.

You know that the Federal Reserve created 7.77 trillion dollars to rescue the banks during the crisis of 2008, but no one has lifted a finger to help the million homeowners who are about to be foreclosed on. That money was used by bankers for bonuses and other rewards to the very people who crashed our economy resulting in massive unemployment. Your government, which was been bought years ago by the One Percent, protects its master. The Senate recently passed a bill that makes these United States a war zone and so allows the army to arrest, detain, interrogate and even fire upon US citizens. There is one simple truth about the use of military as a police force, the Military’s task is to protect the state against its enemies but when the Military becomes the police then it is the citizens that become the enemy. So who is the Senate wishing to protect?

– Lucifer

To intercourse with the dark lord Lucifer, drink a bottle of Everclear, or email: lucifer@theseattlesinner.com.

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TALES FROM THE FISHBOWL

“I can’t believe there’s a holiday where a jolly prowler breaks into your house and leaves gifts” – Squidward Tentacles

I FEEL AS IF THIS IS GOING TO BE A EULOGY, as all signs indicate that this may be this show’s final season. But I shall still weigh in since so many of the television intelligencia (?) has already.

Fringe premiered on september 9th, 2008 and was created by J.J. Abrams of Felicity and Alias fame and co-conspirators Alex Kurtzman and Bob Orci. When the show aired, the comparisons were immediate to another FBI centered supernatural series, The X-Files: The granddaddy of serialized sci-fi television. While some comparisons are obvious (FBI, encompassing story arc, on FOX), the two shows couldn’t be more different. While The X-Files’ central theme was one man’s search for “the truth” and his missing sister, Fringe is all about defending the world from the threats of bugnuts science with equally bugnuts science!

The series focuses on kick ass FBI agent Olivia Dunham, played by the ravishing Anna Torv (Niece of “billionare tyrant” Rupert Murdoch. His words). After an unusual mass murder involving a commercial airliner, she is assigned to a department of the bureau called Fringe Division. It’s led

by Homeland Security agent Philip Broyles (Lance Reddick) who starts off acting like one of those annoyed black leutenants from any given cop movie from the 80’s but grows to become one of the stronger supporting characters on the show. Fringe Division deals specifically with crimes committed by means of what is known as “fringe science”. The division eventually discovers that the crimes are part of an elaborate network of events known as The Pattern, as if the world itself is being experimented on. To combat the threat, the division recruits the one person who can solve the bizarre cases: Dr Walter Bishop, played by the incomperable John Noble who is known to geekdom as Denethor the Steward Of Gondor in the Lord Of The Rings movies. He is the quintessential mad scientist and for that he is institutionalized for an accident that happened almost 20 years prior. He needs a next of kin to be his legal guardian to be outside.

Enter his smart ass and brilliant son Peter Bishop, played by the far from removed Dawson’s Creek Joshua Jackson. His intelligence rivials his father’s and is the one person to keep him straight.

So, Agent Dunham and the Bishops, under the direction of Broyles, set forth to solve various scintific crimes and mysteries. That is the simple explanation of the show, but the show is hardly that simple. I can’t say anymore without spoiling the overall series or having three or four more pages of exposition. As of this writiing, the show is on its fourth, and possibly final, season as noted earlier. So it would be prudent for you to get the first three seasons on DVD and then catch up with this season on hulu.com. You will not be dissapointed as with other serialized television (I’m looking in your direction LOST!).

The Sinful World Of

F

ViVi Louise

or those of you not familiar with the succulent works of Vivi Louise, she has been featured in numerous magazines around the globe, including Bizarre, Car Kulture Deluxe, Deadbeat, Retro Lovely, and even Skin & Ink – which she admitted was a bit ironic since she only bares a few tattoos. It might be easy to assume that ViVi was born with a spotlight upon her, but that’s hardly the case. She’s a small town beach girl from Kailua Oahu (Hawaii) who grew up taking hula lessons on the beach, yet daydreamed of Hollywood and the blinding lights of flashing cameras. Her childhood reflected those dreams, she laughs, by the time she spent torturing her family with the plays and skits she wrote and performed, not to mention the television series she produced with her grandmother’s old camcorder. Basically, she says, it all came down to her being a busy body and a bit of a theatrical nerd... and it seems that it has paid off. I’d have to agree. With that said, It’s my pleasure to offer you the sinful tale of ViVi Louise...

How did you get into modeling and performing?

Getting into the genre of pin-up modeling was an interesting process...in my late teens, I was still very much that little girl with stars in my eyes. I was getting into photography and would in turn use myself as the subject. I’d get dressed up when I was bored and take photos; on one occasion, I had dyed part of my hair a bright fushia and sent a photo to the company (Manic Panic): a couple of months later, I received a catalog in the mail from them with my face right there on it! It was pretty flattering to say the least, and not at all expected, but that’s initially where I got my taste for more. As far as performing, I absolutely love the stage, though I have been caught up with so many other activities that I had to take a bit of a break from it; however, I must say, there is nothing as invigorating as live performance! I definitely plan on returning to burlesque and go-go dancing in the very near future.

What was your first modeling/performing experience like for you?

I will be the first to admit, my photoshoot was a bit of a nightmare...the photographer was extremely unprofessional and treated me as if he had better things to do with his day. However, instead of turning me off from modeling, it only drove me to succeed even more. Conversely, my first performance was absolutely amazing; I had a lot of support from the other gals in the troupe as well as friends and a great reaction from the audience each time.

Talk about a rush!

What has been your favorite project?

I have had many exciting shoots, however, my favorite project so far has been shooting my very first calendar with Seattle based photographer, JiJi Lee. She is such an incredible professional and person in general, so naturally, she is who I tend to shoot all of my clothing company based work and even those spur-of-the moment, just-for-fun shoots. We’ve also grown to be great friends, and I highly respect and admire her for all she has done, which includes my growth as a model.

What kind of screening process do you go through when picking a photographer to work with? And how important is it to screen?

Very important! Always do your research before deciding to shoot or even meet with anyone. We have the great advantage of living in a technologyfriendly era, and there are loads of reputable websites to do your scouting on others reliability, professionalism, and overall track-record. Just keep in mind, you can never be too safe, and if it doesn’t feel right, pass it up! Something better will come along.

Chris Gomez

Speaking of photographers, who have been your favorite to work with? And who would you like to work with in the future?

Oh, so many... as previously mentioned, I absolutely adore JiJi Lee Photography and have worked with her the most. Shannon Brooke (of Sacramento) is another amazing lady, and was also one of my very first (positive) photoshoot experiences. Craig Thomson and Parris Blue Productions, both Seattle based, are absolutely wonderful to work with as well. In the future, it would be a dream to work with the Austin, TX based “666 Photography”; I am intrigued with their ability to make sets and costumes from scratch for every single photoshoot; their photos look like fantasy paintings come to life!

Any advice for young models coming up in the industry?

Absolutely, and it’s simply: stay true to yourself. After all, it is a reflection of you that is being captured in a photograph, and you will look best when you are most comfortable in your own skin. Also, never give up on your goals; there is nothing that cannot be attained without a bit of hard work to get there, and do be open to investing into your craft as well, as it pays off greatly in the long-run. As my Dad always used to say and my motto has become; “If you want something bad enough, you can make it happen!”

What’s XMAS like for you around your house? Christmas is actually my favorite holiday! It allows me to be dorkily festive by decorating all over the place, bake a ton of goodies loaded with calories and spend time with loved ones. My favorite Christmas, hands down, was my son’s first. Kids just make holidays exciting all over again, and you get to relive it all through them and help create their memories. It’s a pretty rewarding feeling!

What do you want for XMAS this year?

Oh, just a baby pink, two door, hard top ‘59 Impala...I’ve been a good girl!

Where can readers find more about you?

A new website is in the works, so be sure to keep an eye out for that early next year! For now, I have a Facebook account as well as a fan page, simply under Vivi Louise, and update it religiously. Model Mayhem is also a great way for professionals who are looking to book with me.

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Any last thoughts or shouts?

Yes, this has been absolutely amazing! Thanks for the fabulous interview and hope I’ve given some helpful advice and/or peaked some readers interest out there. To those reading, make sure to keep up with The Sinner, as they’ve always been a favorite of mine!

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Tactics and Technicalities

Jo Rodriguez and Mammas

Gina Simon Photography

THIS MONTH I wanted to share a suspension story from my September tour. At the beginning of the year I went out for 30 days and one of my stops was to see friends and do suspensions in Merced, CA. There were a lot of people who were close friends with a piercer friend of mine who were asking to attempt suspension for their first time. One of the people interested was a guy named Jo Rodriguez.

Jo was like most who are attempting to venture into the realm of suspension for the first time. He was nervous and lacking information. After some period of discussion it was decided that he would do a pulling first. He wanted to get a feel for the actual insertion of the hooks and a small understanding of what the actual lift would be like. The hooks were set into his back and he was attached to the line. At first he was reluctant to pull against the skin but after some time getting used to it he was in his comfort zone. All in all the pulling was successful, but it left him slightly unsure of what direction he would take in pursuing suspension. I was in California for quite a while that tour and after some healing Jo approached me again and had decided that he wanted to go up before I left. We discussed it again and the decision was made to proceed with his suspension.

The location we had selected was a close friend’s yard that was in a neighborhood that had many small businesses intermingled with the houses. We spoke to the neighbors and store owners and agreed on a time that the suspension could be done so that it wouldn’t disrupt anything for anyone.

The owner of the house, Brian, had a pit named Lucy who was very friendly and obedient. A short while prior to the suspension Brian was outside working on his yard when he was surprised to be approached from behind by his dog. He thought she was inside so how could she be in the front yard with him? Then he realized that it was not his dog.

It was another female pit that had been abandoned.

She was skin and bones, throwing up and had obviously had puppies. He had her scanned and looked at and it was agreed that she had no disease but was suffering from malnutrition. Being a dog lover Brian decided to try to nurse her back to health so the dog stayed, we all pitched in and shortly she was considering it her new home.

The day of the suspension Jo appeared unfazed. He was ready and stoked to go up. We set his hooks, walked him to the rig and gave him a minute to ready himself. He was up in under a minute and stayed up for about 5. When he was ready to come down he asked that he be lowered into a seated

meditative position. Then the magic happened. The Dog we had grown accustomed to calling “Mammas” approached him, sat down and began to show Jo some love. She licked his face and rubbed her face against his as if to express her happiness to be there and that he was fine. It was beautiful and quite a few people began to tear up watching this amazing rescued dog lock this suspension into our minds forever.

The story doesn’t end there…

I mentioned September earlier so you must be curious why I’m still talking about January. When I returned to Merced in September, Jo asked to go up again. We selected the same location and proceeded to get the “ok” from the neighborhood. When I arrived at the spot I was shocked and happy to see our old friend “Mammas”.

She had gained back all of her weight and was excited to see us.

We set up for Jo to go up, set his hooks again and tied him into the rigging. We talked about the idea of him lifting up from the position that he had been lowered into at the end of his first suspension.

I explained that lifting from a “dead weight” position would be very uncomfortable but that if he wanted to try I was willing to let him. He sat down, we adjusted the rigging and up he went.

Jo’s second suspension was awesome. He was up for far longer and tried many new things including lifting my weight. All in all it was an amazing suspension. When he decided to come down we lowered him back into the seated position again and he relaxed and took it all in. Then just like before up comes Mammas showing her affection only now she was healthy. It was incredible to witness. To see these two lives face and conquer the obstacles set before them and to share that experience with them is something I will not soon forget…

This is the power of suspension Hope you enjoyed, Stu Please send suspension and survival stories, questions and tips.

The Surly Gourmand Devouring Slices of Misery so You Don’t Have To

1514 E. Olive Way For reservations call 206-328-2282

Here are a few possible ways to make toast fancier than regular toast: 1. Use bread made from heirloom wheat which is harvested by orphans, milled by lesbians, baked by Italian monks, sliced by ninjas, and slathered in butter made from the milk of cows fed only foie gras.

2. Hire a robot submarine to grab some leftover bread from the wreckage of the Titanic. Then have this priceless bread toasted by your butler over the flames coming from the exhaust pipe of your platinum rocket car. Have your butler drench it in butter made from Christina Hendricks’ breast milk. Then the butler has to commit suicide so he can never reveal this awesome recipe.

3. Create some molecular gastronomy bread made from molecules, then sous vide it for several months, then caramelize the crust with a satellite- mounted laser. The “butter” is actually yellow wax into which you have somehow infused artificial butter flavor through a very complex process.

4. Two words: Faberge Bread.

5. Or you could go to Dinette and eat some of the fancy toast they sell there.

Everybody knows that Dinette is awesome. It’s been in the same Capitol Hill location for years. The interior, turquoise and yellow and dimly lit, with tiny antique tables and mismatched plates, is simultaneously precious and wizened: just like Bjork! I hadn’t been to Dinette in years, but we were prompted by a deal from Groupon or Rue La La or one of those places.

You can imagine my surprise when I saw a whole section on Dinette’s menu, dedicated to toast, of all things: I was definitely more surprised than the time I saw a monkey in a tree outside my dad’s friend’s house (true, but boring, story), yet much less surprised than when I discovered that your mom can read (at a 3rd grade level).

We started with the pork belly and arugula toast ($6). Crusty slices of toasted baguette, sliced on the bias into ovals, were topped with aioli, a bright green bale of arugula, and a neat rectangle of pork belly confit. This was delicious: the pork belly had been seared outside, but so tender inside that when you bit it, it melted the way like a housewife’s panties during a George Clooney interview. The pork belly was topped with a sharp orange marmalade which, along with the arugula’s peppery crunch, kept the toast from veering off into a fatty abyss (“fatty abyss” is my pet name for your mom).

Next up, also at $6, was a rapini pesto toast. Personally I’m getting fed up with pestos made of whatever the fuck plant you feel like using that day. Why not make Brussels sprout pesto? Or bay leaf pesto? Why stop there? Why not just refer to polenta as “corn pesto?” Or make a “pesto” out of green Chiclets? That swooshing sound you just heard was law and order flying out of the window! Mass chaos! That having been said, the rapini pesto, dark green and a little bitter, worked well on this toast, paired as it was with a layer of melted gruyere, nutty like a Teabagger’s election platform. On top were some superfluous chunks of pickled red pepper which kept falling off.

The chicken liver mousse toast ($7) was better than the rapini pesto toast: this one was spackled with a thick smear of a smooth and chicken liver mousse. Embedded into this savory mortar were tiny fractal florets of romanseco, that bastard child of broccoli and cauliflower which, if it didn’t exist, millions of disgusted 3rd graders would have had to invent. There were also some more of the same pickled peppers from the rapini pesto toast. They worked better this time, since they stuck to the mousse instead of falling off, and the tangy spice kept the mousse in check.

I was getting toast fatigue by this point, so we got a beet salad with escarole and radicchio ($11). The price tag seemed steep but it was a pretty bigass salad. This bitterness of the chicories was barely cantilevered by the sweet sanguine cubes of beet and the creaminess of the bleu cheese in this, the Alexander Calder of salads.

A big bowl of gnocchi ($18) was tasty: fluffy vaginas of pasta floated in a delicate cheese sauce. Twined through here and there were rich shreds of braised pork shoulder and dotted with toasted pine nuts. A dark green patchwork of braised greens completed this picture.

Dinette has elevated toast to an art form. I would be in no way saddened if they eliminated all of the other menu items and concentrated solely on toast. They could serve panzanella!

They could eliminate dessert and just serve cinnamon toast! Instead of wine, they just served carafes of blended up toast! That, my friends, would be a true uTOASTpia! What an awesome pun I just made!

Rating: 7.5 puns out of 10

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Serve No Evil, Eat No Evil, Meat No Evil

3153 Morgan Ford Road, 63116

By Emily Eufinger

F

inding a chef who can properly cook a premium cut of steak is like finding a lover who knows what they’re doing in bed: it’s not easy; it can get messy at times, but the payoff is well worth it and once you know where to get it, you’ll keep coming back for more.

Consuming the aforementioned steak is like having really great sex: the anticipation gnaws at your guts and makes your mouth water; the mere thought of it sets your tongue aquiver; and the moment that prize is set before you, it takes all your self-restraint not to devour your conquest immediately. The relentless beast of hunger urges you to obscenely gobble it down in great chunks, incisors tearing at the hot red meat, letting the juices trickle down your chin.

Submission to that animal brings a premature end to the carnal bliss—an anti-climax before achieving full satisfaction. You must savor each tender morsel of flesh tangling with your tongue, gleaning every possible bit of pleasure from it, because no matter how long the sensation lasts, it’s never long enough. And once it’s over you’re left aching, begging for more.

Wandering the narrow streets of St. Louis in search of some slight comfort for your abused and jilted inner glutton, carnivorous gratification is hard to come by. When there’s black sky above and cold mist on the window pane, Three Monkeys is warm and enticing like the wide open … arms of a familiar lover. Exposed brick and fireside seating welcome famished patrons in from the dark damp night. Rich, heavy wood tables and walls fade the harsh winter chill to a distant memory.

Every Wednesday night, Three Monkeys runs a “King Kut” special: an 8 oz. sirloin steak with two sides for $6.95. This is not advertised on the menu, or on the little note cards stuck in plastic holders on all the tables. Nor is it emblazoned on a neon banner strung across the building façade, or flying from the tail of a low-powered vintage biplane. A deal like this would seem to merit nothing short of confetti canons, Busch-Stadium home run fireworks, and the heavenly host riding an army of ostriches and proudly trumpeting a thousand vuvuzelas … yet Three Monkeys serves this dish without batting an eye.

It’s no gimmick. The meat is not only high-quality, it’s big enough to satisfy; because let’s face it: size might not be the most important thing, but it sure as hell matters. Throw some garlic mashed potatoes and fresh green beans on the side, and you’ve got a dish worth fighting the devil for.

Though all pleasure comes at a price, the cost of this ecstasy is not wallet castigation.

Spread your billfold freely, whip out some cash, slam it on the wood tabletop and demand bloody meat for your mouth, juicy flesh for your face, exquisite rapture for your taste buds— shout your throat raw until that bounty of prime cut comes right on the table in front of you.

Naturally, the Three Monkeys menu holds an ample selection of other equally succulent cookery; for the full manifest, visit www.3monkeysstl.com. For information on other restaurants honoring the King Kut, visit www.enjoyalocal.com/eal/king_all.php. While you’re there, sign up for a Clear Card—$10 gets you 10% off at all participating restaurants all year.

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Holiday greetings, Sagittarius. I wish I could yawn you to sleep with fortunes of a Merry Christmas this chilly December, but I cannot. You cannot escape the darkness of this dreary month, and the only question that you must answer is whether or not you will escape the macabre thoughts that they have brought. Don’t fool yourself by listening to fairy-tale astrologist, either. Their tales of elaborate gifts, loving family visits and mistletoe hanging overhead with beauty in hand and on lip are untrue. No, not this year. Nor any year past, so maybe that’s the reason for you ill thoughts. Maybe it’s the economy and your poor financial state. Maybe nightmares of years past hang from your plastic tree staring you in the face night after night this year. All I know for sure is that your planets are not lining up this month as they are for other Sagittarius, like Tom Waits, Brad Pitt and Samuel “Mother Fuckin’” Jackson. No. This year your in the shitter with the likes of Donnie Osmond. Now you know you’re fucked!

So what does all this mean for you? You must look for the signs, they are all around you. For starters, you come from a broken home, the product of an unwanted birth and an unwed mother. Don’t be fooled by memories of Christmas’ past. The photos and presents have been a hoax. You have been lied to. And you know you have always had suspicions in the darkness of the night while hidden under your covers. That’s really the least of your problems facing you this month, but it is relevant.

I understand your control. You’re an educated person. Intelligent. Incapable of loosing it all. But don’t let your education get the best of you. Attending the University of Puget Sound by way of scholarship will not save you. Nor will having received a degree in psychology from the University of Washington in Seattle. And your grooming by the Republican party for local office is of little help now.

Of course, these factors may help you escape the wrath of the police and prosecutors that will hunt for you when all reasoning fails.

What makes Christmas difficult this year is the loneliness. School has been out for years. You despise your family, and reasonably so now that I have confirmed your darkest thoughts. And you have no friends, none whatsoever. You are alone. The constant Christmas commercials and made for television holiday movies are beginning to drive you past wits’ end. You need a companion to share this season’s aches; willingly or unwillingly if need be.

You don’t even realize it but your innocent glances are becoming stares. Thoughts of following one home, just to see where they live or what routines they follow have began to enter your psyche. As an educated, witty and attractive Sagittarius you know that brut strength is not necessary to capture your prey. You’re already thinking of using the “wounded animal” trick at the back of your SUV or van, wearing an arm sling or using crutches to lure in your victim. And you know that one always works.

I know that right now you’re thinking: “I’m not an animal, and I’m not crazy and I’m not a split personality.

That’s all there is to it. People refuse to believe that. That’s their problem. There’s nothing in my background... nothing in my background, no one factor or collection of factors that would explain or would otherwise lead one to believe that I was capable of murder.”

You know who you are starting to sound like?

Another infamous Sagittarius, Theodore Robert Cowell. He once said, “We serial killers are your sons, we are your husbands, we are everywhere. And there will be more of your children dead tomorrow.” Perhaps you know him as Ted Bundy. The question for you today is whether or not you follow your dark thoughts and become another infamous Sagittarius serial killer...

I certainly hope not, enjoy some XMAS porn instead!

Disclaimer: For all you crazy, fucking weirdos out there, this horrorscope is for entertainment purposes only.

It does not in any shape or form depict any real characters or situations in your near future. So please don’t kill anyone. Killings bad, MmmKay...

Campfire Tales

written by Matthew Gorman

I

s it possible that simply listening to a song could drive someone to end his or her own life? Can a song be cursed? According to an urban legend that has been built up around a song composed in Hungary in the early 1930s, the answer to both of these questions is a resounding yes. The song is sometimes known as ‘The Hungarian Suicide Song’, and by some accounts it can be linked to over 200 deaths by suicide the world over in the seventy plus years since its inception. The title of the song is “Gloomy Sunday”.

Self-taught Hungarian pianist, Rezsö Seress, and the Hungarian poet, Làszlò Jàvor, who would provide the song’s melancholy lyrics, co-wrote “Gloomy Sunday” in 1933. Legend has it that Seress wrote the song’s tortured melody on an actual gloomy Sunday, pouring out his broken heart into his musical arrangement in the wake of a failed romance. And Jàvor’s lyrics recount the woeful tale of someone contemplating suicide after their lover has died.

Seress allegedly met with one rejection after another in his attempts to publish the sheet music and lyrics for “Gloomy Sunday”. One publisher went so far as to tell him, “It is not that the song is sad, there is a sort of terrible compelling despair about it. I don’t think it would do anyone any good to hear a song like that.”

Eventually though, Seress was able to get “Gloomy Sunday” published, and within a week the song became a moderate success, propelling Seress into a world of semi-acclaim and financial gain. Feeling confident once again with his newfound degree of notoriety and an upstart fortune, Seress, some stories claim, made an attempt to reunite with the very young lady who had inspired his melancholy anthem in the first place. In a somewhat dubious twist to the tale, however, it is said that this girl then poisoned herself to death on the day after Seress had contacted her. On a piece of paper found next to her lifeless body, the legend says, Seress’s former lover had supposedly written just two words: “Gloomy Sunday”.

Another version, however, has the lyricist, Làszlò Jàvor, as the lovelorn protagonist in this tragic tale of unrequited love. Jàvor’s original lyrics, in their native tongue, are so renowned for their unabashed bleakness that no translation is said to have ever done them proper justice. And yet it is of Seress, and of the heartbreaking melody that he composed, that most people speak of when they speak of “Gloomy Sunday”.

What is known for sure is that while investigating the suicide of Joseph Keller, a local shoemaker, in February of 1936, police in Budapest found that the cobbler’s suicide note quoted the lyrics of the recently popularized song. This was to be the first of many alleged suicides in Hungary that were connected to the actual song “Gloomy Sunday” itself.

A month later, in March of 1936, Time Magazine reported that shortly after the suicide of Joseph Keller, seventeen additional suicides had occurred in Hungary, each and every one somehow involving the song “Gloomy Sunday”. The brief article recounted how two people had blown their brains out while listening to a Gypsy band perform the song. It also claimed that several people had apparently drowned themselves in the icy waters of the Danube River while clutching copies of the song’s sheet music to their breasts. The article then went on to tell of yet another man who had reportedly requested that a band in a nightclub play the song for him, and had then walked outside into the street and promptly shot himself in the head following the performance.

And while little to no verifiable evidence exists today to substantiate these additional claims of sonically induced suicide, the burgeoning saga of the song “Gloomy Sunday” and its inferred causal effect (despite the questionable veracity of such an ostensibly folksy yarn) did very little to stop the savvy machinations of the world media. Not long after the Time Magazine article, in fact, The New York Times would go to press with the sensationalistic headline of “Hundreds of Hungarians kill themselves under the influence of a song”.

Now, Hungary at the time had the highest suicide rate of any country in the world. In the fractured and pessimistic culture that existed in the country during the 1930s, suicide was considered a reasonable solution to the overwhelming troubles of life. Also not uncommon is for suicides in any country to incorporate popular lyrics or writings into their final letters to the world. As such, it could be wholly possible that the Hungarian suicides did, in fact, occur, but for reasons far less mysterious than originally extolled. And yet, an air of foreboding has seemed to linger around the song and its dark history all the same.

Well, that’s the facts, and after that, the story, as is so very often the case with so many an urban legend, becomes a bit murky. Some sources claim that in light of the song’s strange (re: fatal) effect on the populace, Hungarian authorities actually officially banned the song from ever being performed or broadcast over the airwaves throughout the entire country. Other historical accounts claim that the musical number was simply squelched in a number of Hungarian municipalities by an overwhelming public adherence to generally accepted social conduct. In other words, the Hungarian people within their respective communities, in the interests of “good taste”, unofficially banned the composition, with radio stations and musicians soon following suit.

But the tale grows deeper yet. Apparently, after the fervor surrounding the song and its purported effect had gradually began to wane, the B.B.C. agreed to release the song in Britain as long as it would only be performed instrumentally (by some historically questionable accounts the song had hitherto been banned throughout all of England by this time). This was until a London policeman patrolling his beat heard the song being played over and over again from an apartment during his travels. Having heard of the controversy surrounding the musical number and deeming it rather

odd that someone would play such a tune again and again so incessantly, the lawman went up to investigate. His curiosity soon turned to horror as he found the apartment’s occupant, a young woman, dead from a self-administered overdose of barbiturates, and with the instrumental version of “Gloomy Sunday” repeating itself over and over on an automatic phonograph. It was then, that the B.B.C. allegedly reimposed the ban on any version of the song. A ban which some say still remains in effect today.

Now, whether or not there ever was, or if there still remains, a ban on the song “Gloomy Sunday” in the U.K. is a matter for researchers far more adept and well, let’s face it, far nerdier than I. So, if you do happen to have the time on your hands between your “X-Files” and “Dr. Who” marathons and your busy schedule of not getting laid to instigate some sort of amicable, epistolary correspondence with some fellow nerdling who just so happens to have unfettered access to the B.B.C. policy records from the 1930’s until present day, please let me know. I’ll buy you some “Lord of the Rings” collectibles for your effort. Honest.

But seriously though, the London incident did actually occur, and remains one of the modern

aesthetic backdrops wherein the tale of the “cursed” song is still relayed. I, myself, first heard that it was the highly popular Billie Holiday version of the song that so many people had offed themselves to, and that her cover of “Gloomy Sunday” was the last record found on their phonographs or gramophones when their bodies were discovered. Well, the phonograph thing was indeed true in one instance at least, and perhaps more than that, although not with regards to the Billie Holiday version of the song. But then that’s just how legends grow, with a dash of truth, and a whole lot of ad libbing.

The thing is that some sources believe that it was only the original Hungarian version that had “caused” people to kill themselves, while others will attest that the sorrowful song in any form can still exude its enigmatic influence. Many claim that it was the lyrics that had given the song its power, and that when it was translated into other tongues the song was rendered harmless. As such, they believed that the song was only deleterious to the Hungarian population, and yet tales of suicides connected to the song, such as that of the London woman, began to pop up in several European countries not too long after the suicides in Hungary.

In Berlin, a young shopkeeper hung herself, leaving a copy of the sheet music to “Gloomy Sunday” below her dangling feet. An errand boy in Rome who had been riding his bicycle through the streets purportedly heard a beggar simply whistling the song’s melody. The youth, it is said, parked his bike, gave the beggar all of his money, and then drowned himself in a nearby river. In the United States, a young girl working as a typist in a New York office building put her head inside her gas oven and asphyxiated herself. She left a note requesting that “Gloomy Sunday” be played at her funeral.

Which brings us now to the song’s influence in America. After news of the morbid hype surrounding the musical number reached American shores, it wasn’t long

Reszo Seress before musicians in the U.S. were practically chomping at the bit to record their own versions (be they simply instrumental or with the original lyrics translated into English) of “Gloomy Sunday”. American lyricists Sam M. Lewis and Desmond Carter each authored translated versions of the original song lyrics, with Lewis’s version eventually becoming the better known, and more often covered, of the two. In fact, in 1936, the very same year as the original reported rash of suicides in Hungary, Hal Kemp and his Orchestra, employing the Lewis translation, would record the first American version of ‘The Hungarian Suicide Song’. The band claimed that it took twenty one takes to achieve a performance suitable for recording, and every band member reported feeling uneasy and pessimistic throughout the entire ordeal.

It was the Billie Holiday version of the song, recorded in 1941, however, that would become the most popular interpretation of “Gloomy Sunday”. To this version was added a third stanza in which Billie sings that her wish to die had all just been a dream. This was done in the attempts to temper the pessimistic feel of the song, but it seemed to do little good. There were alleged reports of young jazz enthusiasts committing suicide after listening only to Holiday’s version of the song.

To date, “Gloomy Sunday” has been recorded by artists as diverse as Billie Holiday, Louis Armstrong, Ray Charles, Björk, Sinead O’Connor, and the Satanic songstress Diamanda Galas, to name but a few, and has been translated into a number of languages including Swedish and Japanese.

A myriad of theories still abound as to just what element it is within the song, or whether it is perhaps an amalgam of all its properties, that gives “Gloomy Sunday” such purported power. Some claim that the depressing monotony of the instrumentation set in C minor helped to create some kind of disheartening resonance that could dramatically affect the psyches of certain individuals, and even this theory of tonal influence is further bisected by some proposing a scientific cause and effect and others one more supernatural. It is even said that the French government employed psychics at one point to study the ‘Suicide Song’ and its strange effect.

When asked about how he felt about his song and its purported connection with so many suicides, the composer Seress answered, “I stand in the midst of this deadly success as an accused man. This fatal frame hurts me. I cried all of the disappointments of my heart into this song, and it seems that others with feelings like mine have found their own hurt in it.”

Seress jumped to his death from his Budapest flat in 1968.

Think Outside The Cage with Kendra Holliday of The Beautiful Kind

Can I Turn My Affair into a Triad?

Dear Kendra, I am contemplating a TRIAD. I am currently married and have a baby boy. I also have a secret lover on the side whom I deeply love and with whom I have a fantastic love life. My wife is not frigid, just not as into sex as I am and does not value it as much (she is almost non-orgasmic and will not masturbate). For her it is more of a job than a way to connect.

I am white, and my wife is typical Japanese in many ways, including her lack of desire to reveal her true self to anyone. For her, actions are all that counts, not thoughts or feelings and in fact self-denial is seen as the highest good by many Japanese...

I fail to feel connected to her as a result.

My lover on the other hand bares her soul to me, and I to her. We are connected on a very high spiritual level. I love both women but in different ways. Of course I also feel obligated to be a good father and honor my commitments.

I want to propose a TRIAD so that we can all have what we want, even if it is not the ideal that maybe they had in mind. I am willing to seek legal counsel to draw up some kind of cohabitation contract so that the women all feel protected and secure and that any offspring will be provided for. I am not afraid of commitment. I want to commit. Any advice? ~Don Juan Idealist Dear Don Juan Idealist, I hate to be the one to have to tell you this, but your dream will not come true. I know, I know, it would be so very cool if all the puzzle pieces fit nicely together and you could have one big happy family and get all your needs met without having to sneak around, but it won’t happen with your setup.

I was in a triad for several months, and I have to say it was a lot harder than I thought it would be, and that was with everyone being on board and open about it from the get go, AND with both women being bisexual. Trust me, low libido or not, your wife would feel like shit if she heard you and your lover giggling in the bedroom.

I agree with Tristan Taormino’s (author of Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships) take on non-monogamy: it’s harder to introduce the concept into an already established relationship. Most situations like yours end up in one of two ways: carry on the affair until the lover gets tired of the arrangement and moves on, or leave your wife for your lover. It sucks that a thing that makes one person happy can make another person miserable. Or two.

Update: Don Juan eventually told his wife about his affair. She did not take it well.

They ended up divorcing and he is now paired with his lover. He sees his son on a regular basis.

ask@thebeautifulkind.com www.thebeautifulkind.com

Got a sex, relationship, BDSM or fetish related question? Ask your local sexpert, Kendra Holliday, Writer & Editor of The Beautiful Kind, and Co-Founder of Sex Positive St. Louis.

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myspace.com/stlouissinner - myspace.com/seattlesinner

This, I Shamelessly Tell You

Moving the...apartment, ‘girl drag’, and more in the ‘James Chronicles’

by James Stansberry

A Jeffrey Richter Fine Art

North St Louis Mandina’s 1319 St Louis Ave Dutch Town Friendly’s 3503 Roger Pl South County Steel & Ink Studio 3561 Ritz Center MOFO The Silver Ballroom 4701 Mofo Rd at Itaska Tin Hat 3157 Mofo Rd South City Shameless Grounds 2650 Sidney The Heavy Anchor 5226 Gravois

Jefferson Ave Bistro 3701 S Jefferson Ave Cherokee District Apop Records 2831 Cherokee St Downtown Crack Fox 1114 Olive St Soulard Shanti Tavern 825 Allen DB’s Sportsbar 1615 S Broadway Laclede Landing Show Me’s 724 N 2nd St Big Daddy’s 118 Morgan St

Affton Bob’s Liquor 9347 Gravois Rd 10 Mile House 9420 Gravois Rd Overland Just Bill’s 2543 Woodson Rd Priscilla’s 10210 Page Ave Central West End 34 Club 34 N Euclid Tom’s Bar & Grill 20 S Euclid The Grove Just John’s 4112 Manchester Ave The Atomic Cowboy 4140 Manchester Ave

For a complete list of our distibution points, log on to www.facebook.com/saintlouissinner

s I sit here writing this, there are boxes all over the apartment, filled with bits and pieces of my life from the last six years I’ve lived in my current place (the place that rapidly became a hellhole over the last three years, due to a string of drug dealers and sex predator/stalker types), proving that yes, I am indeed moving. At freaking last! Moving away from the jackass who has most likely downloaded so much porn on my and my sweetie’s computer that the thing’s now running very slow. So wish hanging folks from meat hooks in the public square as punishment for crimes wasn’t so frowned upon these days, dang it, as that’s what I’d do to butt face if I’d ever managed to catch said evil miscreant.

Ah well, by the time you read this, he and other less pleasant neighbors (the hillbilly chick across the hall, who I think is both letting her place be used for drug dealing and selling her sorry ass out of said place, and other creepy guys who I’ve come to avoid) will be history. Yay team.

Of course, it goes without saying that I’ll also be leaving behind the raggedy ‘crew’ that pretends to be selling Real Change papers in front of the Trader Joes down the street, but mostly just stands and begs (when one of them isn’t ‘taking orders’ for drugs, or running some new money getting scam). So I won’t miss any of the Transphobic comments they’ve made upon seeing me and my sweetie, when we’re ‘dressed’, preparing to enter the store for something we need. Glad to know there’s another TJ’s in my new neighborhood, ‘cause I do like the store, and their ecclectic mixture of interesting gourmet items, or just regular stuff that’s both affordable on our stretched to the max budget, and usually pretty extraordinary compared to other local establishments. Hope that TJ’s has pretty clerks, like a couple of the femmes who’ve either knowingly, or innocently flirted with ‘James’ on more than one occasion, making my ego feel very happy – thank you very much!

Speaking of my journey to become more of my male self, a certain awkward memory comes to mind. This being the night, a few weeks ago that my sweetie and I saw a play, and this one had to dress in ‘girl drag’, so as not to ruffle any feathers, and bring unwanted questions from family to my sweet one. Very strange to have older, white guys smiling at what essentially, to me, is a mask, while the real me had to wait until the next day to fully show myself again, at my weekly grocery buying trip to the Ballard farmer’s market.

I can truly say I’ve never been happier to be able to ‘dress’, as I was that Sunday afternoon!

Maybe because it’s just taken nearly my whole life to bring ‘James’ to center stage, so I’m bound and determined to give myself every opportunity to completely shine as my male self. Still, I do keep a few ‘girl drag’ items, for occasions when to be ‘James’ would be more of a hassle than a boon. Such is the nature of this part of my journey.

I am very much looking forward to stepping out for a night in my new neighborhood, with my sweetie, ‘dressed’ on my arm, to see how different it’ll be to be off the hill again. I won’t say where I’m moving, since my stalker could be reading this too, yikes. But, I will say that it’s bound to be more accepting, in some ways for two middle-aged Trans folk, who are also artists and work in the New Age community. Guess I should get something in tie dye, eh? Only if it fits with my idea of dressing like a ‘dandy’, the way I’m being pulled as I become more James (and occasionally my Gay male self, ‘Paolo’)! At least I won’t be hindered, hopefully, by more horrid neighbors, like ‘hill billy chick’, or the male pervs who still insist on foisting their disgusting advances my way, though I’ve clearly made some changes in who I am and who I’m becoming. I’ll certainly, dear reader, keep you posted.

This, I shamelessly tell ya babies!

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Seattle, WA