Seattle Sinner March 2012

March - 2012

Billy Dwayne and the Creepers HENDRIX MUSIC ACADEMY

Black For A Second OCCUPY THE MIDWEST GIVE CANCER THE BIRD! THE SINFUL LOOKS OF STITCH

Gina Simon Photography

ANNIVERSARIES & AN APRIL'S FOOL Independent publishing is a taxing venture on any given day, regardless of financial success or failure. The only escape from the relentless devouring of the mind and body for most publishers is found at the bottom of a fifth of cheap booze, a temporary bliss that removes all pains. It’s just part of this gig. You either have the stomach for headaches and cheap booze and hangovers, or choke trying to swallow your puke. That’s why so few of us survive this mad cycle of deadlines, ad sales, debts, deliveries, requests, gripes, drama, and general day-today bullshit. It’s enough to make a madman of the most intellectual nitwit. Then pour the pains of planning the expected anniversary show into the glass, and it’s enough to make the most loony nutcase an outright fool while the ice melts away.

I’m no stranger to this madness, nor making a fool of myself. It’s also part of the gig. The best resolutions and most sincere intentions always seem not only possible, but certain, halfway through any fifth.

That’s hardly the case in the so-called real world, and even more unlikely in Indy Publishing. It’s the law of mishap and disaster more definite than Murphy’s. I’ve certainly proved that time and time again over the course of this ten year stint, some many barrels of cheap whiskey pissed away.

Most recently, the everyday madness drifted into foolery with a series of unexpected phone calls about our advertised anniversary show here in St. Louis. The unknown number ringing away awakens an array of sensations for the Indy publisher.

It’s usually three sure scenarios: the random wrong number; an advertising inquiry; or a bill collector – usually the latter.

The older sounding fellow on the other end of the line wanted facts about our March show, our third year of Indy Publishing in St. Louis. He informed me that my Seattle number was the only one he could find in The Sinner and that the ad promoting this show didn’t have a date, a cover, a

venue, any bands or performers. “No Shit!” was the first words of madness to enter my thought process, followed by, “And just how many phone numbers do you need to call to ask a question?” I hadn’t hit the cheap bourbon yet so my answers were more social, civilized, borderline professional. “Oh, the anniversary show we scheduled had been double booked by accident. We’re moving it to April, so look in the March issue for all the info in a few weeks.”

Now that was bullshit – borderline professional bullshit, nonetheless. The foolish truth of the matter was that in the day-today madness and drunken bliss I had forgot to contact Lemmon’s Bar to actually confirm the date, nor contact any of the bands or performers for the anniversary show. But that’s not what you tell someone on the phone, nor in print, either – at least not on some kind of borderline professional level.

It’s never been in my nature to bullshit, that’s a stiff drink that I can’t usually stomach. Yet, it seems to always be part of this

BULLSHIT & POISONIO US BULLFROGS gig, too. The bullshit of creating bullshit and believing your bullshit – the bullshit of bullshitting. The thing about swallowing too much bullshit is you begin to shit it or puke it one to everyone else – in print and person.

There’s a poison to the endless bullshit, perhaps not the fatal bite of an Inland Taipan, but more like a bullfrog. The kind of poison that leaves you feeling nauseous for days on end stumbling through the forest on some psychedelic trip until it passes, like one too many fifths of cheap booze with mushrooms. Maybe that’s just me, some naïve Indy publisher who believes in truth and free speech and puppy dogs who never grow old or die. Maybe I’ve had one too many whiskeys now... maybe not enough...

And that my dear reader is another tale of fear and Indy Publishing in two cities... see you on April 21st for our 3 year anniversary. Maybe we’ll have entertainment...

WRITERS, RANTERS, OPINIONISTS & OTHER ALL-OUT FREAKS: Mark Taylor-Canfield Paul Blow Lucifer Saab Lofton Malice Henry Nicolle

Stu Kimberly Peters Emily Eufinger The Surley Gourmand Guitar Doug Rajkhet Dirzhud-Rashid

Kendra Holliday Tina D Zak Weedman

Publisher: Chuck Foster Layout: Terri Daniels Cover Art: Gina Simon Cover Model: Stitches

The Sinner is a group of contributing writers. Their opinions, rants and ideas do not necessarily reflect the views of The Sinner itself.

The Sinner encourages contributions from its readers but retains the right to edit material due to content or length of submission. photo by: H. Krisp

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“Beware the Ides of March!�

ESSAY | Too Late To Say Goodbye

by Henry Nicolle

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illiam Shakespeare wrote in his play Julius Caesar, dramatizing Plutarch's Life of Julius Caesar, of the challenges of perspective in governing, ruling and the aspects of leaders and leadership. If one were to isolate the peculiar influences of time, place and personality, we would perceive the fundamental human relationships which frame the ideas upon which the perspectives of life, liberty and property are constructed. The stage and actors move through time and place, the author does not. So, the play repeats, uninterrupted and immutable.

I have heard that lies are mostly cooperative acts. I suspect this is true. Most of us know when we are told lies. We know when we are being seduced and when in one fashion or another, we are being betrayed. We value plausible deniability above all other social tools. With it, we can receive the benefits of a fraud while maintaining our presumptions of innocence by ignorance. We believe we can get laid without getting pregnant. We are simply ignorant, not so innocently, pregnant.

We are easily seduced. We desire our own seduction. We are Sinners. Those before us were Sinners, infected with the same folly. We now revisit the Sins of our Fathers as if Our Own. We reap the harvest of our labors of neglect and indifference for our Liberty. It is a bountiful harvest, generously fertilized by education and information but absent the weeding and tending of crop spoilers. Farming is labor intensive. We spend more energy avoiding labor than the energy of the labor itself. Now, we eat weeds.

We are in a period such as that described by the Seer in Plutarch's and Shakespeare's alarms of change, accepted in theory, unanticipated in practice. Change is now upon us and continued deniability a mortally dangerous folly. To Caesar's flippant remark ". . . the Ides of March has come.", the Seer replied, "Aye Caesar, but not gone.". (See www.issuu.com/stlsinner/docs/issue2, The Wild and Wicked Winds of March (Page 4)) We had a choice for Liberty or for convenience. We chose convenience. We had a choice between individual achievement and armed subsidy. We chose subsidy by violent theft. After two centuries of Rights abuse, we chose between equality of individual rights and the practices of exploitation under color of law. We waffled, choosing continued exploitation and rejecting individual, inherent Rights, Liberty and Self-determination. Consistent with prior, hypocritically poor choices, we pretended to "Free the Slaves" as we summarily destroyed the Rights of all Americans. Indeed, we established a "new equality" before the law and in all other aspects at the cost of Liberty.

We have had many opportunities to select peace and prosperity. We have rejected these, all of them. We prefer to wage war upon other People and upon our own. There is no law remaining upon which we can depend to preserve our appeals for justice and gain peaceful redress.

Our political avenues have been corrupted as thoroughly and efficiently as our institutions, courts and academies. We have drowned our many opportunities to self-govern in the sewers of self-service and at expense of self-preservation and self-determination. We have made so many bad choices that today, our choices are meaningless. We are offered choices among options we do not create and of which all serve our Rights and Liberty not a whit.

Our fate no longer rests in our own hands, neither individually nor in the collective of society. Is our sorry state irredeemable? Have we an opportunity yet for remedial action? Maybe.

How willing are you, in the face of ignorant, ambitious opposition, to seize your own personal Liberty? Can you give up the "personal deductions" in reporting "taxes" un-owed except by "policy"? Can you work, travel, own property, marry, raise your children, speak freely, defend yourself and your neighbors without asking for permission and paying tribute? Can you make yourself free from central management and personal servitude? Asking permission, getting a license, paying a fee to exercise a natural and essential Right as a free man or woman has the quality of the begging of a plantation slave or a household indentured servant. If you must ask permission to exercise a Right, you cannot claim "Liberty". You are not at liberty to choose.

You cannot beg and expect to be free. You cannot borrow out of debt. You cannot long prosper from war. You cannot find security in a society governed by violent coercion. You cannot legislate wealth, jobs, security, health, education, environment, safe streets, public tranquility, money, commerce or foreign comity. These things are all voluntary creations of societies composed of individuals who respect the individual and honor inherent individual Rights, Liberty, Property and self-determination.

We have exhausted opportunity. For us, today, it may be too late to say goodbye.

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US Corporate Media Boycotts National Occupy Conference The first Occupy Wall Street movement National Convention was held in Olympia, Washington Feb. 18-20th (ossf2012.org).

When the books about the movement are written by future scholars, this conference will probably be recognized as an unprecedented event of historic importance. The Occupy Solidarity Social Forum was organized in an effort to help develop an effective, nationally-coordinated movement for social and economic justice in the United States. The

blocking her from getting that much soughtafter interview. I could just imagine her talking with her producer later and trying to explain how she failed to complete her professional assignment. The cameraman actually turned to me at this point and said, “OK, if that’s the way you want it, then we’ll just go do another stupid story on Justin Bieber!” Their behavior was very unprofessional.

In the case of the first national OWS Convention, the corporate media has completely

events were co-sponsored by the Alliance for Global Justice and Occupy Olympia. The political gathering included three days of workshops, discussion groups and meetings.

Economist David Korten and Occupy Seattle activist Dorli Rainey were the keynote speakers at the conference. Korten is author of When Corporations Rule The World. He told the conference participants that it’s time for a populist uprising against the Wall Street “banksters” and corrupt politicians in Washington, DC. He described how multinational corporations have destroyed the free market through international trade agreements and financial control of our elections, our government, and the media.

Rainey gave a rousing speech detailing her personal experiences both as a former candidate for mayor, and as a member of Occupy Seattle. The famous photograph of her taken by journalist Joshua Trujillo went viral last year, prompting international media attention. The picture showed her being assisted by another activist after the Seattle Police had attacked her with pepper spray at a demonstration. Her attitude towards her new celebrity status? She told me, “Mark, it’s just a phase - it’s my fifteen minutes of fame.

Soon it will all be over and they will ignore me again.”

I recall that at one of the Seattle protests Rainey was being harassed by a local TV news reporter who was just dying to get an exclusive interview. Rainey told me she was not feeling well and wanted to go to the hospital. I informed the reporter and her cameraman that Rainey was ill and needed medical attention. One might have expected the TV news woman to show a little respect and concern for an 85 year old elder, but instead she continued to push for the interview despite my attempts to shield Rainey from her many aggressive approaches. Finally, Rainey made a caustic remark to the reporter, making it very clear that she wanted to be left alone. I had to place myself between the two of them to stop the confrontation. I told the ABC news reporter, “Look, she’s not feeling well. We are trying to take her to the hospital.

You need to back off!”

The reporter then gave me an extremely angry look. She was very upset that I was

dropped the ball! There were no reporters at the event! Granted, many of the conference participants were happy not to have a bunch of ignorant corporate news reporters getting in the way and asking inane questions. But considering the possible historical importance of the conference, one has to wonder whether a collective political decision was made by the news agencies to boycott the occupy movement. Was this a conscious attempt to deny them any kind of local or national news coverage? Press releases were sent out by the organizers, so there can be no claims of blind ignorance on the part of the media. They cannot excuse themselves by saying they weren’t informed about the three days of events in Olympia. The only real media coverage of the national OWS Convention has been my article for the Huffington Post, and our report on the Pacifica Radio Network’s Free Speech Radio News.

Obviously, the Occupy Wall Street movement is alive and kicking some corporate ass!

The constant doom and gloom predictions offered by the neo-con talking heads has been proven to be nothing but false propaganda, or at the very least wishful thinking. Other major regional and national occupy conventions are being planned for later this year. In March, St. Louis will be hosting the MId-west Occupy Conference. The movement has not been wiped out. In point of fact, it has only become more organized and folks are now even more dedicated to the cause than they were in the fall.

The criticisms of the movement regarding their lack of political participation and organizing have also been laid to rest. All over the country occupy aligned folks are choosing to run for local political offices. In Philadelphia, a self-proclaimed “Occupy Candidate” is running for Congress with the support of a former police chief. Many of the occupiers’ issues are being addressed through new proposed city and county council ordinances and in bills being introduced before state legislatures. In Washington State and in Illinois, there are major campaigns underway to create publicly-owned state banks. In Washington, the banking legislation is being sponsored by Representative Bob Hasagawa. Other occupy movement efforts include:

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new laws prohibiting illegal home foreclosures, a national campaign to overturn the Supreme Court’s “Citizens United” case, and measures introduced to reform government healthcare, education and tax policies.

Occupy activists in Seattle and other cities have been forming coalitions with many local and national labor unions. Marches and rallies have been organized in cooperation with the United Farm Workers, the American Federation of Teachers, SEIU, Teamsters, and Longshoremen. In most of these cases, the occupiers have played a supportive role for other organizations by providing numbers to bolster the unions and their efforts to confront employers involved in unfair labor practices. Although many of the labor leaders and the bigwigs in the Democratic Party are confused about how they can co-opt the tactics and goals of the Occupy Wall Street groups, rank and file members are much more willing to accept support from the activists. Highly restrictive and repressive labor laws in the US have seriously diminished the power of the unions to fight in order to preserve their wages, benefits and pensions. Although union contracts with the corporations often bar workers from organizing or staging strikes, there is still a strong sentiment among the working class that they have been exploited by the big money boys on Wall Street.

Due to the high unemployment rate, there is aggressive competition for even the lowest-paying temporary jobs. As the cost of living and inflation soars, wages continue to drop. Many of the occupiers see labor’s struggle as representative of the class warfare going on all across the nation. To the corporations, the formula is very simple: outsourcing + lower wages = higher profit margin.

So, the movement goes on...We are witnessing the birth of a new egalitarian society, no matter what right-wingers and media pundits have been telling you. Occupiers truly are the avant garde in this new campaign for global justice and freedom. Don’t be fooled by the insipid lies of the commercial news media propaganda machine. The reporters are paid to deceive the ignorant and to support their corrupt wealthy benefactors who live high up in those ivory towers built on the backs of working people and the poor.

But the big untold secret is this: the one percent are actually living in houses made of glass. As long as the majority of the people in the country still believe in these mass fabrications, the foundations of those houses will not be shaken. But once the doublespeak is

written by Mark Taylor-Canfield finally decoded and the people see that the emperor wears no clothes, we will finally experience a reformation and transformation of our primary institutions of government, media, and finance.

Until that time, we must all fight to free ourselves and others from the bondage of false information. As Thomas Jefferson warned us long ago, democracy is impossible in a nation of ignorance. Some might see our current social struggle as a type of information war. We must provide open access to all the vital facts that govern history.

Otherwise we are all doomed to repeat our past mistakes. The boom and bust economy is a major facet of modern capitalism. We’ve experienced many repeated depressions in our nation’s history!

The occupy movement is yet one more example of people in search of the truth about ourselves and our world. Knowledge is power!

May we use it wisely...

ttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/mark-tay• h lorcanfield/post_3012_b_1292141.htm • MTC tweets @ “mtsea” • He blogs at The Daily Kos • M TC’s political satire anime - “Occupy London!”: ttp://goanimate.com/ • h videos/0x3jQ4q2w9SE/1 • h ttp://goanimate.com/ videos/0KVrgg62E2K8/1 ttp://goanimate.com/ • h videos/0krttY19xl6M/1 • h ttp://goanimate.com/ videos/03Gm1NOP6DKo/1 • h ttp://goanimate.com/ videos/0mkpMy4UL2CM/1 • h ttp://goanimate.com/ videos/0mkpMy4UL2CM/1

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We Were NEVER Equal written by Saab Lofton SUPERMAN [while flying with a child]: Jeremy, I need you to tell the people of the world what you see.

JEREMY: I see the ocean and mountains and rivers, but– SUPERMAN: –go on.

JEREMY: But you can’t tell where one country begins and another ends. You can’t see any borders. It’s just – one world.

SUPERMAN: Good. If you can see it, and I can see it, maybe some day everyone will see it.

– from the movie, Superman IV: The Quest for Peace

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t’s fitting that Superman of all fictional characters would be depicted saying such a thing since – DESPITE his whiteness – he’s the dictionary definition of an illegal alien. And as I’ve pointed out in the past, superstar actress Cameron Diaz is one of the finest white women I’ve ever seen, but her father, Emilio Diaz (1949 – 2008), was Cuban. The odds of someone with Diaz’s pale skin, blond hair and blue eyes falling prey to Arizona’s SB 1070 (anti-immigrant legislation) are so remote that it’s NOT worth mentioning. Therefore, DESPITE claims to the contrary, there’s NO way one can enforce SB 1070 without engaging in racial profiling.

As the old expression goes, even a broken clock is RIGHT twice a day, which must explain why Obama, the Overrated of all people, was able to school Arizona’s governor, Jan Brewer, on how WRONG she is... “[Governor Brewer] described meeting the president at the White House in 2010 to talk about immigration. ‘I felt a little bit like I was being lectured to, and I was a little kid in a classroom, if you will, and he was this wise professor... I felt minimized to say the least.’”

– MSNBC, January 25th, 2012 Her response interests me because I’M often accused of coming across in much the same way. However, before the short-sighted misinterpret this as a tacit endorsement of that overrated pretty boy, keep in mind how Obama responded to Ralph Nader’s 2008 campaign...

“Nader is somebody who, if you don’t listen and adopt all of his policies, thinks you’re not substantive. He seems to have a pretty high opinion of his own work... I do think there is a sense now that if somebody is not hewing to the Ralph Nader agenda, then you must be lacking in some way.”

– The Washington Post, February 24th, 2008 Can you see a pattern here? Obama is SLIGHTLY to the left of Brewer and she “felt minimized” by him... Likewise, Nader is WAY to the left of Obama and the latter was found to be “lacking” by the former... The only logical conclusion is the further to the left on the political spectrum you are, the smarter you are.

Moral relativism be DAMNED, we were NEVER equal!

Poli sci 101: To be left-wing means to defend the poor and/or oppressed whether you yourself happen to be poor and/or oppressed or not (a la Marlon Brando, who donated money to the Black Panthers).

To be right-wing means to serve the rich and/or powerful whether you yourself happen to be rich and/or powerful or not (a la inbred retards, who’re CONstantly making chicken-shit excuses for corporate greed and militaristic excess).

And for the trillionth time, Stalin, Castro, Mao, etc. are NOT left-wingers.

Sure, the FISCAL half of their platform is left-wing (free health care, free colleges), but that SOCIAL half sure as Hell ain’t (a Machiavellian disregard for Human rights). Simultaneously, libertarians are photo negatives of Stalinists – a decent social half and an EVIL fiscal half – so both are MODERATES; sixtynining each other in the middle of the road, as it were (hence the WASTE that was the Cold War)... I bring this up because only Scandinavia represents the left – and since it has the best resume on Earth...

FED Chairman Alan Greenspan: Congressman, we have the highest standard of living in the world.

Congressman Bernie Sanders: No, we do not. You go to Scandinavia, and you will find that people have a much higher standard of living, in terms of education, health care and decent paying jobs. Wrong, Mister.

– a financial services committee hearing, July 16, 2003 ...being left-wing IS synonymous with morality and factual accuracy. I doN’T give a damn how elitist that may SEEM. This applies to yours truly as well. I eat more meat than anyone on the planet, so when vegans/vegetarians assault me with facts, all I can do is submit. That’s why, when I die, I’ll be reincarnated as a cow from Texas, a pig from Tennessee and a chicken from Arkansas as penance.

Today’s radicals are tomorrow’s reactionaries: Take Rush Limbaugh – bad as he is, even that fat bastard is better than the owner of a cotton plantation circa 1850... And villainous as those Southern slavers were, even they pale in comparison to Attila the Hun. Again, do you see a pattern?

The fear is that acknowledging the aforementioned will SUPPOSEDLY lead to Anakin Skywalker-esque arrogance, which is a cowardly cop-out if there ever was one. The superheroic code forbids the censoring, torturing and murdering of your enemies. Barring that? Curse their monkey asses the fuck out! How ELSE are racist bitches like Arizona Governor Jan Brewer ever going to learn right from wrong?

StoptheDrugWar.org

by Joe Mabel

Seattle Mayor Says It’s Time to Legalize Marijuana Seattle Mayor Mike McGinn (D) used his state of the city address last Tuesday night to make a heartfelt plea for marijuana legalization. The mayor’s remarks came as a new poll showed that an initiative that would legalize marijuana is favored by voters.

“It is time we were honest about the problems we face with the drug trade. Drugs are a source of criminal profit, and that has led to shootings and even murders. Just like we learned in the 1920s with the prohibition of alcohol, prohibition of marijuana is fueling violent activity,” McGinn said in his prepared remarks.

“Seattle is the kind of place that isn’t afraid to try a different approach,” he continued. “We support safe access to medical marijuana and made enforcement of possession of marijuana for personal purposes our lowest enforcement priority. But we’ve learned in the past year that with the federal war on drugs still intact, and with our kids still getting gunned down on the streets, we need to do more.

“I know every one of the city council members sitting to my left and right believe as I do: It’s time for this state to legalize marijuana, and stop the violence, stop the incarceration, stop the erosion of civil liberties, and urge the federal government to stop the failed war on drugs.”

Mayor McGinn’s remarks came as Washingtonians prepare to decide the issue for themselves in the November elections. A marijuana legalization initiative, I-502, has already been approved for the ballot. Sponsored

by New Approach Washington, the initiative would create a system of state-licensed and -regulated marijuana commerce and allow adults 21 and over to possess up to one ounce.

A Public Policy Polling survey released this week shows the initiative leading, although not with a majority.

In the poll, 47% of voters said they’re currently inclined to vote yes on the measure, with 39% saying they are opposed.

A similar initiative is poised to make the ballot in Colorado, having handed in four times the number of signatures it needed for its final push, while legalization initiative signature-gathering campaigns are underway in California, Michigan, Missouri, Montana, Nebraska, and Oregon.

Obama Interview Ignores Marijuana Legalization Questions As everyone is probably pretty well aware at this point, one of the most popular activities at the White House is the practice of organizing online forums for people to vote on questions for the president, getting everyone all excited about it, and then completely ignoring the vote totals and disappointing participants with predictable answers to generic questions. It happened yet again today: WASHINGTON, DC -- President Barack Obama in an online “conversation” with American voters on Monday, failed to answer a barrage of questions about marijuana legalization or the drug war.

Although 18 out of 20 of the most popular questions submitted by voters via YouTube were about the drug war or pot, the president in his 45-minute post-State of the Union chat didn’t address a single one. [Huffington Post] Of course, the president has answered similar questions in the past, mocking legalization supporters on one occasion and calling it a legitimate topic for debate on another. What the president has never done is actually answer such a question completely or intelligently. At this point, it’s rather hard to imagine that he ever will.

And so the cycle is certain to repeat itself again and again, as one web forum after another is dominated by marijuana and drug war questions that will continue to go unanswered (though some may occasionally be acknowledged and sidestepped). The “legitimate debate” to which Obama says we’re entitled is something he nonetheless refuses to actually engage in, and the frustration that drives this issue to the front of the line in every such forum will be well fed for the foreseeable future.

In the meantime, it ought to be obvious to everyone that something is very wrong when this many people keep asking the same question and the president has nothing to say.

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OCCUPYING THE MIDWEST W alking the streets of South City, St. Louis one February afternoon I found a poster for “Occupy The Midwest” hanging upon a bulletin board in a local South City hang out. The word “Occupy” caught my eye, as I’m sure it would most Americans today. For no reason the poster made me realize how little I knew about this grassroots organization wanting to gather in our front yard, downtown St. Louis, in front of tourists and news agencies alike. I wasn’t even sure what this group of protesters wanted from the 1%. What makes this worse, I barely remember the local Occupy that occupied Kiener Plaza the first of October last year for about a month and a half, either – thanks to our ”credible” local media.

I decided to contact the movement through its email address in the hopes of finding out what Occupy The Midwest wanted to achieve in St. Louis – or worse, take from the 1%. On the other end of that email I found Michelle Witthaus, a local representative for Occupy Midwest, who separated the national media’s fear and fiction from fact.

How did Occupy St. Louis get started?

It started as a demonstration outside the Federal Reserve here in St. Louis. After hours of protesting, we relocated to Kiener Plaza to avoid federal arrest. We then kept Kiener Plaza as our base. People slept in tents each night to hold the space so that each day we could exercise our right to free speech. Having Kiener Plaza as our base of operations gave us a perfect place to come together, share ideas, and organize.

Were there any arrests?

No arrests were made during the first few days of the occupation. Arrests for violating the park curfew were made the first week or two of the occupation.

What happened to Occupy St. Louis?

We were forced from Kiener Plaza by the St. Louis Police Department about a month and a half later. Until that point about 20 people were sleeping overnight and during the daytime anywhere from 30-100 people were participating in our discussions, marches, and working groups.

I think the common assumption in St. Louis is that the protesters were forced to disband? What happened?

We have not disband. We still meet several times a week for our General Assembly and participate in several actions throughout the month. We left Kiener Plaza because the St. Louis Police Department decided to enforce the park curfew ordinance.

How did Occupy The Midwest come about?

Early on, a few occupiers traveled to various cities to see how other occupations were working. This prompted a

Seattle WA

working group called “The Interoccupy Working Group.”

It was this group that came up with the idea for Occupy the Midwest as way to meet and learn from each other.

What kind of hoops did OMW have to jump through – permits, fees, etc. – to make this event happen?

We’ve had to jump through a lot of hoops. Unfortunately the city is not being extremely cooperative in the way of permits. Apparently there is no way to use a public park after curfew or any kind of permit we can get to camp. However, the Boy Scouts are granted permission to camp each year. Luckily, we have other organizations on our side who have been helping us in the way of funding and supplies. We also have an extremely talented group of individuals who have been dedicating a lot of their time to ensure this event is successful.

Will OMW be a 3-day camp out/occupy?

Yes. Of course we hope we won’t have to face any police action but we do realize it is a possibility. Most of us believe that violation of a park curfew shouldn’t be an arrestable offense.

What can someone expect to find at OMW? I expect OMW to be a great place to learn, through teach-ins and discussions along with a sharing of ideas and tactics on how to propel this movement forward and create an America that we can all be proud of.

What type of compromise from our elected officials would satisfy most Occupiers, or at least you?

There is a lot of focus on corporate personhood. When Citizens United passed it became extremely obvious that government officials care more about corporate interests then human interests. The fact that most CEO’s make 100-300 times more than entry level positions within their own company is just disturbing. When I think about how hard I work at my job and then I think about someone making 100 times more than me it’s hard to justify that.

I have a good work ethic, I work really hard, there is no way they are working 100 times harder than me; so how is that just?

Once again this is just one issue, we could also look at racial inequality throughout our country, the prison industrial complex, the failing education system, the shipping of jobs oversees, worker’s rights, etc. We have a long way to go until we will be satisfied.

Last, where can readers find more info about OTM? Readers should come to Kiener Plaza on the first day of Occupy the Midwest (March 15th). We have a great day planned ending with a General Assembly under the Arch. We’d love to see new faces and hear new ideas.

After all, we want to represent the 99% but we can’t do that until we have a variety of different people sharing different ideas... And OccupytheMidwest.org.

Hendrix Music Academy: Home away from Home text: Chris Swanson - Photos: Scott Mckinley & Lani Linton of Seattle Music Photography

This place is like home. Well, a home where the unmistakable spirit of Jimi Hendrix resides. Walking in, you wouldn’t assume a state of the art music studio is just around the corner. The living-room feel grabs you. Pictures and fan-made art fill the walls from floor to ceiling.

One of Jimi’s gold records hangs near the Hendrix Music Academy sign. Only after the eyes adjust do the amazing sound boards, pro–grade vocal recording booth, and gorgeous live room begin to settle into view.

This is where Tina Hendrix, niece of the infamous Jimi Hendrix, and her talented squad of volunteers teach music, music technology and the music business to young people. This is the Hendrix Music Academy.

A non-profit organization solidly devoted to providing a productive alternative to street life. By becoming a veritable home away from home, they’ve taken on dozens of students, primarily by word-of-mouth. Tina is quite the energetic woman with a motivated demeanor about her, and she relates pretty closely to all her students. She should. When she was in school she had parents on

drugs, was shot and almost died, and had her first child pretty young. Yet somehow she has emerged a successful woman. And with her own music background and the obvious Hendrix bloodline coursing through her veins, she has turned into quite the leader of her students.

Tina and The Hendrix Music Academy run various programs throughout the year which vary from one night a week to several and incorporate everything from young bands to solo artistry, rock to rap, and instrumental instruction to production training.

Being a non-profit entity, they operate from the charity of others. Equipment, fan art, funds – anything – is appreciated. They’ve received a lot of support from the local (and sometimes broad) community, however they could use more. Lots more in fact.

And this is the type of home that we should support.

It helps young people and cultivates music – music you very well could be listening to in the next few years.

To learn more visit www.hendrixmusicacademy. com.

GIVE CANCER THE BIRD

by Chuck Foster I say Nixon, you say Watergate. I say Nixon again, and you should say War On Cancer! Although our 37th president is mostly known for Watergate, he is reluctantly credited with taking cancer by its lethal horns in the hopes of running this deadly beast in the ground in 1971. Few presidents since have taken on this foe in the same manner.

Many pundits have called this 40-something-year-old “War” a failure – and there are numbers which support their argument. But at least Nixon had the balls to look the American public in the eye and make the case that a war needed to be waged against cancer in a time that we only waged war on man.

40-something-years later, “cancer is expected to surpass cardiovascular disease as the leading cause of death in the world by 2010”, according to the World Health Organization’s World Cancer Report 2008. Like most government wars, the one on cancer is a failure too, seldom discussed by government. And like Nixon’s war on cancer in 1971, Obama’s is easily overlooked, too. In 2009 Obama’s economic stimulus package included $10 billion for the NIH, which funds much of the cancer research in the U.S. The president has also pledged to increase federal funding for cancer research by a third for the next two years as part of a personal drive to find “a cure for cancer in our time.” It’s seldom mentioned, but Obama survived his mother’s battle with ovarian cancer. I’m sure it’s the driving force behind his recent statement, “Now is the time to commit ourselves to waging a war against cancer as aggressive as the war cancer wages against us.”

This isn’t meant to be a political introduction to a cancer fund-raiser, but more of an understanding about perhaps the only just war declared by our government some 40 years ago. Today most Americans understand that it takes ass-loads of money to fight terrorists, but an enemy as aggressive as cancer often gets the shaft.

That’s the reason why we should not only give cancer the bird, but a few bucks too. This is where Racheal Kitchen comes into this war. She’s a rebel for the cause, a survivor of this war, forever scarred. For her, and many others, like myself, cancer is personal. That’s why her and a bunch of other folks are gathering at Lemmon’s April 1st, to raise a few dollars and give cancer the bird. I asked her to sit down with me for a minute to discuss the fundraiser...

Tell me a bit about “Give Cancer The Bird”, who all is involved with the fundraiser?

I’m very excited about the fundraiser! PBR, Throwing Things Records & of course the wonderful people at The Sinner are sponsoring the event. I have 6 awesome bands playing for free! (Black for a Second, The Winchester, The Chill Dawgs, Popular Mechanics, Guy Morgan & The FT Crew & Thorlock) Tons of gift certificates to raffle off!

(Cheap TRX tattoo, The Silver Ball Room, Beauty Bar Hair Saloon, Friendly’s, Mud House, Mokabe’s, Mangia, Schlafly Tap Room, Throwing Things Records & Lemmon’s) All proceeds will go to The American Cancer Society.

Come listen to kick ass music and help fight cancer!

What inspired you to take on such a feat?

My family and I are walking in The Relay for Life in honor of my Aunt Angela who passed away from Cancer when I was a little girl and for all loved ones lost to the disease. The money raised helps to fight Cancer. I couldn’t think of a more fun way to raise money for such a great cause.

Is this your first fundraiser?

I have volunteered quite a bit in the past, but this is my first fundraiser. It has been a lot of work, but everyone has been amazing in giving their time and effort to the cause.

Do you have any plans to make this an annual or semi-annual event?

Most definitely going to make this an annual event!

How important are fund-raisers of this nature to the ACC? I believe they are very important! Fund raisers of this nature grab people’s attention and in turn raise a lot of money.

Where can readers find more about “Give Cancer The Bird”? www.stupidcancer.com. It’s an organization that focuses on young adults with cancer. It’s an absolute kick ass logo!

Be My Grave & Atomic Outlaws @ The Central 2/24/12 Tina D Photography Great bands gathered at The Central for an intimate night of rock!!! Show featured Dread Effect, Tacoma rock band Atomic Outlaws (who will soon be going thru a name change, be sure to look for Supercharged on facebook), and Everett's super talented and fun, Be My Grave!

Local Chaos & Seattle Sinner Present:

The 9th Annual SKA-fest, Day 1 The Funhouse 2/10/12 featuring: Moon, Natile Wouldn't, Chris Murray, and many more!

Hosted by El Caballero

Local Chaos bringing you the 9th annual SKA-fest, just one of Seattle's many annual anticipated local music festivals. This year featured many talented bands as usual, including Moon, Natile Wouldn't, and SKA Legend Chris Murray, and many others kicking off the first of the 2 night festival that got all the rude boys and girls skank-ing across the dance floor!

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UP ALL NIGHT....

Collection

St Louis, MO

Margaret Wilson - Meg-a-Legs

Indie Lou

Ami Amore’

Roxie Red Rockets

Sammy Sunshyne of Quixotic Fusion

Tyler Cross

@ 2-Bit S aloon February 18 2012

The Screaming Starts seems to be more about an overall concept, than just music. From their stage presentation, to the song writing, to the artwork, it’s an Italian horror movie set to rock music and the marketing strategy is more calculated and preconceived, than you normally find with other Seattle club bands. - Raising Hell With Guitar Doug, August 2011

TUES MARCH 17th St. Patrick’s Day Drinkathon Koozbane; Absent Minds (PDX); Lost City; Ol’ Doris; Ando Ehlers & Gg Chaos Death Polka! @ The Kraken Bar & Lounge 5257 University Way NE - 21+, 7pm, $5

MON APRIL 2nd The Bangalores Filthy Still (Providence, RI Bluegrass Punk); Gutter Gourmet; San Pedro El Cortez (Mexico) @ The Funhouse 206 5th Ave N 21+, 9:30pm, $5, $1 Beer Night!!!

THURS MARCH 22nd Joe Buck Yourself; Shivering Denizens; Hard Money Saints; Ando Ehlers & GG Chaos Death Polka!; Derek Dunn from the 357 Band @ 2Bit Saloon 4818 17th Ave NW in Ballard - 21+, 9pm, $8

THURSDAY APRIL 5th Viva Le Vox (FL); Rachel Brooke; James Hunnicutt; The Mean Street Meanie @ The Funhouse 206 5th Ave N 21+, 9:30pm, $5

SAT MARCH 23rd 10th annual CHAOSPALOOZA Day 1 and Tony V’s Birthday! featuring Moral Crux; Piss Drunks; Toe Tag; Potbelly; Rat City Ruckus @ Tony V’s Garage 1712 Hewitt Ave in Everett - 21+, 8pm, $7 SAT MARCH 24th 10th annual CHAOSPALOOZA Day 2 Moral Crux; The Bloodclots; Toe Tag; No Red Flags (PDX); Potty Mouth Society; Poorsport; Load Levelers; Shakin’ Michael J; The Whorewoods; Hosted By El Caballero @ The Funhouse 206 5th Ave N - 21+, 7pm, $10 FRIDAY MARCH 30th Warning Danger!; Bigfoot Accelerator; The Dead Giveaways (Longview); Uninvited @ The Kraken Bar & Lounge 5257 University Way NE - 21+, 9pm, $5 The Creeper (vocals), Stew Manchu (guitars), The Wolfman (bass), and Youngblood (drums) Photos by Mike Enigh “Blood is a constant topic in my lyrics, so naturally, incorporating it into our artwork and our general image, comes as second nature.” – The Creeper

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SUN APRIL 1st Filthy Still (Providence, RI Bluegrass Punk); Gutter Gourmet; Junkyard Amy Lee; Joey Pissdrunk @ Tony V’s Garage 1712 Hewitt Ave In Everett - 21+, 9pm, $5

FRIDAY APRIL 6th Viva Le Vox (FL); Hard Money Saints; Hot Roddin’ Romeos; Rachel Brooke @ The Shipwreck 4210 Sw Admiral Way - 21+, 9pm, $6 SATURDAY APRIL 7th Viva Le Vox (FL); Rachel Brooke; James Hunnicutt; Ando Ehlers & Gg Chaos Death Polka! @ Tony V’s Garage 1712 Hewitt Ave In Everett - 21+, 9pm, $5 MONDAY APRIL 9th Prima Donna (LA); Blue Ribbon Boys; Vast Void; The Aimlows; The Piniellas @ The Funhouse 206 5th Ave N 21+, 9pm, $5, $1 Beer Night!!!

TUESDAY APRIL 10th Prima Donna (LA); The Downstrokes; Sweet Pups; Sierra Nevaders @ Tony V’s Garage 1712 Hewitt Ave in Everett - 21+, 9pm, $5 Stayed tuned for a lot more tasty shows to be announced soon including SEATTLE PSYCHOBILLY BRAWL! Thanks for the support. Hope to see you at a show soon. www.facebook.com/local.chaos.greg www.twitter.com/localchaosshows www.localchaosproductions.com

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On The Scene With Malice THE REEBS CD RELEASE PARTY AT THE HEAVY ANCHOR The Heavy Anchor (5226 GRAVOIS) is one of St. Louis’ newer venues, so I was excited to be out on the scene again, especially since all 3 bands on the bill were well worth watching from beginning to end. As some of you know, my husband has a 2 band tolerance; it doesn’t matter if GOD is playing.

This night was an exception. Friends from all over came out; my Wild Bunch from Belleville, a couple of The Usual Suspects, and quite a few new faces, as well. The place was hoppin’!

In the front room of The Anchor you have the bar, a number of tall tables and stools, a few games, a really cool nautical theme with anchors, ships and an octopus, and no cover unless you go into the back room to see the band. I think the place could be vastly improved by knocking out the wall between the 2 rooms, opening it up so when you have to refill your drink you don’t miss the show. Also, I wasn’t too wild about the theatre seating lined up on both sides of the room, not facing the stage, but each other.

The audience as performance art? It was awkward and I have a stiff neck from craning to see the band.

In spite of this minor discomfort, we had a BLAST! It had been awhile since we’ve seen The Hail Marys so it was a real treat. When I need a damn happy song right f*cking NOW, THM delivers. Katie & Crew are so much fun, you’ll be singin’ along in no time, “Hey hey hey, I’ll be OK.” With Ryan on bass, Katie growling and purring on the mic, and Pink & Patrick on guitars, their songs carry quite the punch!

They’re one of the first bands we saw when we moved out here about 8 years ago, so it’s always like one big reunion whenever we see them.

The Reebs were up next. The long awaited and much anticipated release of their new CD, Shame & Whiskey, far and away exceeded my wildest expectations. I’ve only seen them a few times, but they keep getting better and better. Brian Russell is one of my favorite crooners. His bedroom voice that makes you forget your name, what day it is, and what you’re supposed to be doing. Not to forget Todd Brutcher – enthusiastic pounding by a half nekkid drummer is ALWAYS going to grab my attention.

Then there’s Steve Reeb on the Six String, and John Claude Wright, Bass Slapper. Their showmanship is second to none. It was cool to hear them play the theme song for “King Of The Hill,” a song from an earlier CD, “Wish You Were Dead,” as well as the classic “Folsom Prison” (The “Freebird” of country music). Their songs are never whiny, sad, or depressing, even when the song is about sad, depressing circumstances.

“It’s On Me,” “Ain’t Makin It Home,” and “Honky Tonkin” drive it home brilliantly, but it’s hard to single out one song from the CD to as a favorite because so many tracks, like “Hot Sauce,” are smokin’, and I can sooo relate to “Shame & Whiskey”.

Winding up the night was

Butcher Holler, hammering out their brand of edgier, progressive country. One of the DTs, Jamie, made an impromptu appearance onstage, too. She was at the Anchor to hang out and didn’t plan to sing that night. Nevertheless, she was stunning, totally coordinated from her hair to the shade of her boots. My paparazzo was a bit polluted at this point and stopped his photographing duties around the 4th song into The Reebs show, so I don’t have any pics. I will say Butch Ulrich, Jamey Almond, & Jonathon Taylor of Butcher Holler are the Social Distortion of Southside, with a little Johnny Cash and Mickey Gilley thrown in – an unbeatable combination.

All in all, it was a great night spent with great music in the company of good friends. Memories for a lifetime, if not the pictures. See you somewhere on the scene.

is,

Lou St

MO

Malice p.s.

Upcoming shows you don’t want to miss: Warner Drive & Dirty-King, Sat. May 12 @ Fubar Hot Rod Walt & The Psychodevilles, Thurs. June 21 @ Crack Fox

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Raising Hell With Guitar Doug “I wouldn’t say that all libertarians are racist, but they seem to tolerate a lot of them in their midst“ – Billy Dwayne

A few weeks back, Billy Dwayne was walking past me in a club called Bogart’s on Airport Way in Seattle, where he was scheduled to play a show that night. I flagged him down and introduced myself. We’d met briefly on a couple of occasions, but weren’t exactly golfing buddies and I didn’t know if he remembered me.

“Oh yea, you are from The Sinner. I have been wanting to talk with you about something…” He said with a particular expression I have come to recognize over the years.

Great, here we go again – I thought to myself. After 5 years with the magazine, I can hear a complaint coming a mile away and this was going to be a doozy.

In most cases, the complaint has nothing to do with me, but I’ve learned to diffuse situations anyway.

“You don’t buy all this Ron Paul stuff Johnny was talking about it in The Sinner, do you?”. He began.

I glanced over toward the stage, just as The Hot Roddin’ Romeos launched into their set with their signature tune “Russian Roulette,” wondering if I should just play dumb.

“Ron Paul?” I asked, as if I had never heard the name in my life. “What do ya mean, Billy?” I knew full well what he was talking about. He was talking about my July 2011 interview with Johnny Rocket, lead singer of The Romeos, in which Johnny endorsed Ron Paul, then went on to praise Libertarianism as the answer to America’s problems.

For whatever reason, rumor had it that the interview really stuck in the craw of Billy Dwayne, and the day of reckoning had finally arrived. I was now going to have to explain the opinions of a musician I interviewed, even though I could hardly even remember what Johnny had actually said.

Personally, I didn’t care if Johnny endorsed Ronald McDonald or the Keebler Elves. I’ve had bands endorse everything from drug use to the teachings of Aleister Crowley in my column. It’s not exactly what I would support, but who cares? Ron Paul is the least of my problems. Besides, everyone already knew the system would never allow Ron Paul to be the nominee for President.

Billy appeared surprised when I suggested he explain his side of things to the readers in the March issue. I was actually at the show to find out if he was interested in being interviewed in the next issue. If he had something to say about Obama, all the better. Half the people in the rock clubs support Obama, so let’s get both sides of the story.

Billy is openly Liberal and makes no bones about it. It’s a free country and if that’s what he likes, be my guest. I’ve had both Johnny from the Romeos and the members of Big Wheel Stunt Show endorse Ron Paul in my column, so this was the balance I was looking for. I’ve never disclosed a public opinion on politics in The Sinner, and was starting to wonder if I was being labeled a political hack for the Republican party. All I can say on the matter is whoever fixes the country is fine with me.

Billy was quick to point out that this was a friendly disagreement. “We are all friends,” we even play shows together. In fact, if both Johnny and Billy want to return just before the election to sell the readers on the candidate they’re voting for, one last time, I extend the

invitation here and now, on record. This is just the type of cordial political dialogue and debate that makes this the greatest country on earth, right?

Aside from being unapologetically Liberal, Billy Dwayne is a staple in the Seattle music scene. Mostly self taught, Billy first decided to become a musician after seeing The Beatles on the Ed Sullivan Show. He remembers the CBS network broadcast airing on his 5th birthday.

Growing up, his musical influences were not necessarily rockabilly, but more along the lines of British Invasion and American groups and songwriters like The Who, Rolling Stones, The Kinks, Credence Clear-

water Revival, Bob Dylan and Woody Guthrie. Later in life, Billy got into more rockabilly-influenced artists like Elvis, but it was clearly the band The Stray Cats who led him in the rockabilly direction. “Everyone was influenced by them” he told me, the day we sat down to write this piece.

There are some upcoming projects Billy has for the fans, including a new album which he mentioned might be produced by Johnny Mercury. He has 14 unrecorded songs ready to go which he described as “Some rock, county, western cowboy-type music and

blues.” He is also playing with a new line up which includes Wes Amundsen on bass and drummer Kevtone, also known as Kevin Guess.

The trio played a nice set the night I saw them at Bogart’s and the band went over well with the crowd in hand.

Billy says playing with a trained jazz player like Wes has helped the band gel in a way that has helped him play with more dynamics and finesse; dynamics being an essential ingredient in jazz, which Wes brings to the table.

Let’s take a look at what Billy has up his sleeve musically, and see whether or not he makes the case that Liberalism is the way to go. These are the opinions of Billy Dwayne, not the band, or myself.

Who are some of the musicians you have enjoyed working with or have influenced your music and career?

As far as the people I have personally worked with, there are many. I have practically been the “farm team”, to use a baseball term, of the Seattle rockabilly scene considering how many guys I have played with and what bands they have gone on to.

John Mooney was my drummer and has gone on to play with Los Gatos Locos, The Load Levelers and the F-Holes both before and after playing with me. There was bass player Robin Cady from Roy Kay Trio, drummer Marshall Scott Warner from his own band, drummer Jody Gere now with The Hot Roddin’ Romeos and bass player Armando Nienhuser now with Hard Money Saints.

I should mention Dr. Leon Berman the “Proctologist of Rock ‘n’ Roll” who has put us on the Rockabilly Ball a few times and has given us air time on his radio show Shake the Shack on KEXP. He has been a friend and a big musical influence in his own right.

When it comes to other musical influences there are The Blasters, The Paladins, The Go Getters, The Flapjacks from Portland, Johnny and the Blades The Beatles and locally speaking Johnny Mercury, a great musician and producer whom with we are preparing to make a new CD, The Ranieros, The Black Crabs, Little Ray and The Uppercuts and of course all the bands my ex-band mates are now in that I’ve already mentioned.

What is it about Ron Paul, or the concept of Liber-

tarianism, that you take issue with?

Problem is they can come off sounding kind of liberal, like being against the Iraq and Afghanistan wars and a few other issues which can be seductive to young voters, but when it comes to the social safety net, social security, Medicare, the post office and public schools they’re against it. They also claim to be championing the intent of the founding fathers. I beg to differ. The founding fathers believed in free public schools and Ben Franklin started the Post Office.

Ron Paul believes in free market capitalism. Isn’t that a good thing?

The so called “free market” has never existed and is always perverted by crony capitalism. Ron Paul believes that Restaurants should be able to discriminate on the basis of race and that the “free market” will deal with it and the restaurant will go out of business. I don’t think the south would ever have desegregated without the federal government stepping in.

What are you feelings on free trade?

I think the founding fathers created a tariff system that protected the American worker and ever since Reagan the lack of those tariffs and a manufacturing policy in general has decimated the middle class and the American worker. Ron Paul is for more of that on steroids, not to mention being anti-union.

How do you feel about government deregulation?

Just look at what deregulation has gotten us! Deregulation of the banking system has gotten us in this horrible recession. Lack of oversight of industry led to the gulf oil spill disaster. You had the regulators literally in bed with industry leaders and having coke parties under the Bush administration, and they failed to carry out even basic precautions to cut corners. Ron Paul said it was just an accident and that it wasn’t criminal. Whenever an industry kills or poisons people, Ron Paul says the “free market “ will take care of it. When has it ever?

What about the dead people? What is the “free market” going to do for them? Regulation is there for a reason.

Did President Obama deliver “Hope and Change”?

I would be lying if I said I wasn’t disappointed with Obama. He certainly could have fought harder and used the bully pulpit more effectively for the public option and a host of other issues. To be fair, he has been hobbled by the Senate minority that has blocked most everything and had help from a few turncoat Democratic Senators. But, the President is starting to take up the liberal populist mantle in this campaign season.

I hope it’s not too little too late, because the main thing is the Supreme Court and the next few appointments.

The right wing court has ruled that corporations are people and that money is speech. Our very democracy is hanging in the balance. Do we want to live in a corpratocracy? If corporations are people why can’t we execute them when they kill people.

You have mentioned that you feel there are some racist overtones to libertarianism. In what way?

I wouldn’t say that all libertarians are racist, but they seem to tolerate a lot of them in their midst. One of the skeletons in Ron Paul’s closet are some racist Ron Paul newsletters that have recently surfaced and which he denied having pre-knowledge of but the publishers of said newsletter said he proof read everyone.

KISW’s The New Originals

Jar Of Rain

Studio 7 February 24th - Seattle, WA Photos by Jermey Wheeler Mike Miller with KISW’s The New Originals

Rock Out ALS is a Campaign to unite the Rock Music Industry to raise awareness of Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis (ALS), which is better known as Lou Gehrig’s Disease. www.rockoutals.com www.facebook.com/rockoutals.seattle www.facebook.com/rockoutals. saintlouis

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BLACK FOR A SECOND

“We are what the 1990’s forgot and what the late 2000’s regale”

Interview by Chuck Foster

B

lack For A Second is known as a powerhouse among the St. Louis music scene. Their songs are gritty and full of aggression, lacking that polished feel of over-rehearsed material.

There isn’t any thing about this band polished or groomed pretentious, they’re rockers – plain and simple.

BFAS was formed in 2006 by bassist Denny Dyer and drummer Tim Pinkerton. The group has suffered several line up changes over the years, including a stint as a three-piece, but have welcomed Chris Spina as the permanent BFAS guitarist. A great compliment to their unique sound. Joe Jordan is the front man for the group, masterfully belting out punk-laced lyrics with ease. He was born to sing punk rock, or so it seems when he hits the stage. This foursome’s unrivaled rawness has not went unnoticed, either.

In 2009, The RFT named the group St. Louis’ “Best Punk/Hardcore Band”, a fitting title. I’m sure other awards are in their destiny as well.

I have been wanting to pin these guys down for some time now, and when I saw them on the bill for “Give Cancer A Bird”, I knew it was the right time to hunt them down. And it went something like this...

Give me a brief history of the band, how BFAS came to be.

Tim and I had played music together for awhile before BFAS. We weren’t playing in any bands at the time and decided we wanted to write songs as a rhythm section before finding singers and guitarists. It kinda worked out that way. I ended up playing guitar, Joe came in to add vocals and eventually played guitar too. Cullen McGrane played bass and guitar, at one point we were just three guitars and drums. Cullen left the band, I picked up the bass because I can’t play guitar worth a shit.

We tried our luck as a three piece and ended up adding another guitarist, Stewart Copeland, and yes, that’s his real name. Stewart moved away, and my old high school friend, Chris Spina, took over as lead guitarist. That’s how the current, and most likely permanent, line up came to be. It’s a good fit, we’re all good friends and we pass time by getting drunk and playing music. –DD I like to ask this question each month: What’s the story behind the name BFAS? I’ll leave this one to Joe, but basically he blacked out for a second. –DD I told the guys a story about a night when my wife and I went out drinking and she was being particularly difficult. I had decided that I would sober her up by throwing a bucket of ice on her while she lay on the bed unclothed (I was not sober myself). I got clocked pretty good. I remember telling them that she hit me hard enough that I went black for a second and the name stuck. It’s a really silly and absurd name but so is playing in a rock band, so its perfect! JJ Let’s talk about the Cancer Benefit show at Lemmon’s on April 1st. How did BFAS get involved with this great show, sharing the stage

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with so many other rockin’ acts?

I work and live with Racheal Kitchen. She put the show together and asked me to help book the shindig. I play bass in the Winchester, Tim plays drums in Popular Mechanics, BFAS is friends with the Chill Dawgs, Daren from the Haddonfields and Winchester is friends with Guy Morgan, and so the pieces just kinda fell into place. -DD A bartender at Lemmon’s, our local bar, is running in a race for a cancer benefit, and it will raise money for her. She serves us drinks most of the week, so we don’t want to piss her off. CS

not gone unnoticed. John John from Ultraman recorded our album, I learned a lot about sound from him. I can’t even guess at how many hours Joe and I have spent discussing musical menutia.

We kinda geek out on that shit. –DD Denny and I both really enjoyed “older” punk like Ultraman, and the more poppy Ultrafink. I don’t know if there’s any connections with the naming of those bands, but I kinda hope there is. There’s always been an aggressive yet modest Midwest sound with bands like Bricklayer, the Haddonfields, and Tok, in my opinion. They want to rock, but without the pretension. -CS

Your FB page mentions that you guys are putting the final touches on BFAS’s first full length disc.

What’s the inside scoop on this project, and what can fans expect?

And what local bands do you each follow/catch live?

I don’t really get out much. If I’m not working at Lemmon’s, I’m probably in bed playing video

The full length is out. Daren Gratton from the Haddonfields threw together a record label called Throwing Things Records and released it. You can purchase it through any BFAS band member for $5. It sounds like drums and guitars with a singer.

The CD is done, dude! You can expect hooks, lines, and sinkers, although not all of our songs are about fishing. All of the songs on About The West are about regular human experience, but hopefully have a sort of universalizing factor.

The mundane aspects of our lives can sometimes be enchanting, if you place them properly and soulfully. -CS Your REVERBNATION page mentions that the band’s greatest influences are the bands you have played in. What other local bands have influenced you guys?

It’s not so much local bands as it is local musicians that have had a lot of influence on me personally.

I’ve been playing music with Tim for about 10 years. I don’t really have to think about what we’re playing to lock in with him anymore, it’s kinda second nature at this point. Justin Haltmar from the Disappeared has always been the bassist I wish I could be in St. Louis. The Haddonfields as a whole have great pop sensibility that has

games. The bands I enjoy seeing are the bands that my friends play in, like the Disappeared, the Haddonfields, Chill Dawgs, Ultraman, Popular Mechanics, and probably a bunch more that I can’t think of at the moment. -DD I’ve seen Bassamp and Dan-o a few times recently and they are super awesome, Better Days, any band Jeff Robtoy is in will always entertain, Rob Severson in Googolplexia or Mustardfish or whatever band he is playing in at the time. I like Navigator a lot but I hear they may not be around anymore, Doom Town, Magic City, our old guitar player is in King Arthur and they are great (not local, but really great), The Cuban Missiles, Shaved Women, The Blind Eyes, Tok, Warm Jets. -TP The band’s FB page also says your “live show is where the action really is.” Describe a typical BFAS show?

A typical BFAS show is a drunken mess that is far too loud, and on lucky occasions, Eric from Bricklayer will steal the microphone from Joe for most of the set.

We can be as loud and raucous as we want to be live, and we strive for that. There’s never a point in a show where we don’t give each other that look that says “just turn it up a

little”. Honestly, sometimes it’s because we can’t hear each other. But we are also going for that compressed tone where you hear a bunch of beautiful sounds and can’t quite make out where it’s coming from. We are very democratic about who looks bad-ass at the moment, which is none of us. CS How would you each describe “BFAS” in one sentence?

A band full of my best friends. -DD We are what the 1990’s forgot and what the late 2000’s regale; hard rock with an edge that is both comforting and indecisive. -CS Through the R-N-R grapevine, I heard that Joe Jordan would be taking up vocals for the reunion of Bricklayer, one of BFAS’s influences. True or false, and what’s the story behind the rumor?

Again, I’ll leave this to Joe. –DD I’m currently playing guitar in Bricklayer but Eric is still the singer. It’s not really a reunion either- Bricklayer have been writing and practicing this entire time! They have this massive collection of songs and recordings that nobody has really heard. I have no clue how that rumor came about but both bands are good friends with members of The Scam so the grapevine around here is pretty much poisoned. -JJ As musicians, I assume each of you are sinners. So, which are each of you most guilty of?

I don’t sin, and I will cast stones. –DD Gluttony! I’m kind of a skinny dude, but I can eat like a champ. A friend and I are going on a slinger tour, where we eat every slinger in and around St. Louis.

Starts in couple weeks, we have a list of over 30 so far. If anyone knows a place for a slinger, let me know. -TP Any last thoughts to share with our readers, or breaking BFAS news?

We’re a band. We play shows. We want you to attend. -DD How can readers find out more about BFAS, or purchase merch?

Probably through our Facebook page, or personal interactions, but honestly the most reliable sources are Nicole Madden (Number Six Media) and Daren Gratton. They probably do more promotion for BFAS than anyone in BFAS does.

Last, when and where can St. Louisans catch you guys live again?

March 12 @ the Firebird w/ Haddonfields and Cheap Girls. April 1 @ Lemmon’s w/ Chill Dawgs, Guy Morgan, Winchester, Thorlock, and Popular Mechanics. April 21 @ FUBAR w/ Judge Nothing and Bent. May 5 @ CBGB’s w/ Pat Assassins. Tim told me he would be puking tequila and guacamole on his drum kit on Cinco de Mayo.

Photo: Ismael 'izzy' Beltran/arteizzy.com

Blue Ribbon Boys

review: Chris Rutledge

"Wild Pups kicks ass! It is raw, primal and beer soaked. They did a great job capturing the essence of what it is to see Blue Ribbon Boys live. It's refreshing to hear something that hasn't been gone over with a fine comb. If you enjoy dirty, street worthy rock n roll then Wild Pups will not disappoint you.

All and all, this record is disgusting."

Tina D's 26th Sinful Punk Rock Birthday Bash @ The Funhouse 2/18/12

March 16th Blurred Vision Uncle Sam’s American Bar & Grill 16003 Pacific Ave, Spanaway, WA 9pm/21+/$3

March 30th Triple Treat Band All-Star Sports Bar 22303 Marine View Dr. S, Des Moines, WA 9pm/21+/NC

March 17th Kickstart Hd Hotspurs 315 S Washington Ave, Kent, WA 9pm/21+/NC

March 30th The Ride Uncle Sam’s American Bar & Grill 16003 Pacific Ave, Spanaway, WA 9pm/21+/$3

March 17th Triple Treat Band Rock The Dock Pub & Grill 315 Dock St, Tacoma, WA - 8pm/21+

March 31st Classic Case HD Hotspurs 315 S Washington Ave, Kent WA 9pm/21+/$3

March 18th Fundraiser For Jeremy Barker 5 Bands/ Giveaways 50/50, Auctions..

Louie G’s Pizzaria - All Ages 5419 Pacific Hwy E, Fife WA

April 6th Reloaded All-Star Sports Bar 22303 Marine View Dr S, Des Moines, WA 9pm/21+/NC

March 30th Hearts In Motion HD Hotspurs 315 S Washington Ave, Kent, WA 9pm/21+/$3 March 30th Suburban Legend Sunnydale Saloon, Des Moines, WA 8pm/21+/NC

April 6th Blurred Vision Uncle Sam’s American Bar & Grill 16003 Pacific Ave, Spanaway, WA 9pm/21+/$3 April 7th Kingdogs All-Star Sports Bar 22303 Marine View Dr S, Des Moines, WA 9pm/21+/NC

This year's party was the one to beat! It featured Funhouse regulars Death Polka, Seattle's best kept punk secret 9lb Beaver, the show stealing tunes of The Triple Sixes (who played 2 shows in 1 night!), and Seattle's punk veterans & long time faves of the birthday girl, Dreadful Children!!! Also the Comedy of Sinner columnist, Paul Diamond Blow, who roasted the bday girl & Ring-leading this punk rock circus, El Caballero! As Promised it was a SIN-ful night for all as the whiskey & jell-o shots flowed like water, the punk music was loud & fast, and The lovely B-Day girl was flogged by a few punks & sexy ladies on stage, The party was definitely a who's-who of the Seattle Scene!!

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ibute A Tr e h To T If there’s one thing Al Swacker is known for, it’s creating bands – hence Pretty Vacant, his new Sex Pistols cover band. We caught this amazing tribute last month at The Crack Fox, which included LOUG on the bill. Anytime you get Al and Loug together for a show you can count on it being a blast – And that it was!

Photos by Dane Marti

Rich White’s Birthday Bash @

Last year when The Saw Is Family broke up Rich White, lead guitarist and vocals, decided to start over with a fresh sound. His new project is The Leftovers, a rockin’ four piece who shreds not only music, but the stage too.

We caught them for our third time at The Way Out Club on March 11th for Rich’s Birthday Bash. These cats only get better and better every time they hit the stage.

But what made this night special for so many of us there was The Leftovers allowed old SAW members to join the stage for a couple of old SAW songs which feature Rich on vocals. Good times!

As a last minute addition before print I lost my info with the other bands pictured here, but that could have been more to do with the numerous shots of Wild Turkey we sucked down in celebration. Happy 30, Rich! Until next year...

March 17th St Paddy’s Day Party Gina Simon Photography

Model: Amanda 22

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WHERE ARE THEY NOW? I figured it would be cool to dedicate this month’s HUGGY TALK column to catch up with a few good ex-Seattleite friends who have moved on out and moved on up, so to speak. These are peeps who pursued their dreams, and are now living them. An inspiration to us all. So, what’s new, what’s happening, what’s the buzz?

Here’s the juice...

Rick “Klucifer” Klu (known in the Seattle rock scene as an artiste-extraordinaire, comedian, and part time limo driver) moved to Hollywood, CA. four years ago to pursue art and his dream of becoming an actor. Klu got his start in acting by appearing in shows such as 1000 Ways To Die, When Animals Attack, I Was Dead, and after joining the Screen Actors Guild secured a regular gig on the hit Fox television show House, M.D., where he has appeared for the last three seasons as a hospital orderly. House M.D. airs each Monday night on FOX TV. You will also see Klu in a few new shows and films coming out, like HBO’s new series Luck, which just started airing. Watch carefully though! Klu also works with commercial film crews and just recently worked on a commercial with none Kickass duo: Mr. T. and Rick other than Mr. T.! Rick is also working on a book “Klucifer”Klu of his own bar coaster art, and you can check in with Mr. Klu yourself on his website at www.rickklu. com.

I have also received a status report from rocker Steven Crash, vocalist for hard rock band Jupiter Crash. Jupiter Crash, if you do not remember, relocated from Seattle to Las Vegas two years ago and have since become a mainstay in the Vegas rock scene. Says Steven Crash, “Things are getting exciting here for the Crashsters! We are currently recording our new single ‘Holy Mountain’ with Les Warner, former drummer of The Cult at US/ UK Studios, as well as finishing up our recording sessions at Odds On Studios with acclaimed and famed producer Bobby Ferrari for an upcoming movie soundtrack. The film details are super top Steven Crash rocks the mic. secret for now, but I can say Jupiter Crash has written a killer song, ‘Out Of Control,’ for the main scene, and re-recorded live versions of our other hits to be featured in a live performance scene in the film. Jupiter Crash... MOVIE STARS!!! HAHAHA, can you dig it, Brotha?” Yes, my brother, I can totally dig it! You can tune in online to Jupiter Crash at www.reverbnation.com/jupitercrash.

Last but not least, I have news on our beloved KEG, the Lone Ranger of Rock. KEG is a hard man to get a hold of these days, ever since he moved from Seattle to Los Angeles a year ago, but I can happily report that he is alive and well, as I regularly recieve cell phone text messages from KEG. The messages usually say, “What’s going on, man?” KEG recently posted on his official Facebook page that he is now an ordained minister!

If this is true, KEG will be the first minister on record that delivers leg kicks and splits his pants with each and every sermon. Now that’s my kind of pastor!

Remember, kids... you heard it here first!

KEG: the Lone Minister of Rock!

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Catchin’ Up With

Seattle Next Door Photography S

everal years ago I had the pleasure of meeting Seattle’s Mark Sugiyama to discuss his distinctive photography for our cover.

I was impressed with his work then, but a few months ago he submitted some new works of his for a Seattle cover challenge we decided to try that blew my mind. His new creations seem sharper, more intense and focused. So I thought it would be a great time to sit him back down and discuss what he’s been up to since his cover feature.

So Mark, what have you been up to lately?

Well, Chuck, I’ve been doing double time with both Seattle Next Door (photography) and Eclectic Arts - my print magazine dedicated to the arts (music, photography, television personalities, film, etc).

It changes from month to month which endeavor I’m spending more of my time with but right now it’s Eclectic Arts with my Seattle Next Door work bringing up the rear.

What’s coming up in Eclectic Arts?

Upcoming issues will feature interviews with such diverse artists as: Alex Webster (Cannibal Corpse), RJ and Jay Paul Molinere from History Channel’s hit show “Swamp People”, Destin Pfaff from Bravo TV’s hit show “Millionaire Matchmaker”, and Billy Bretherton - better known as “Billy the Exterminator” whose show has been on A&E television for five seasons now. Ordering information can be found at: www.eclecticartswa.blogspot.com.

Tell me about some of the new models you have been working with?

For 2012 I have been concentrating on my new series “All Through The Years” which is a series based on models from the past (and a few from the present). It’s a reconnecting of sorts for me. Some of the models I haven’t worked with in over four or five years, others a bit more recent. But it’s been a great deal of fun to work with these models again, revisiting old shoots/locations as well as new ones!

Tell me about the three images you sent over, what it took to create them?

The images were really made for Eclectic Arts which is why I’ve been collaborating with a wonderful digital artist named Kimmy Stafford. She’s based out of another state so we work on the shoots via the world wide web. Two of the images were done at the request of the model, Kathy, as she had wanted to do a shoot of that kind - dark city, heroic, brooding, etc. The other image was part of my series I mentioned earlier, with Shannon an awesome model I’ve known since 2009, with a sort of Sucker Punch spin put on it by Ms. Stafford.

It seems that since we first featured you several years ago your work has gotten much sharper, stronger. What do you credit your growth with?

Are you implying my work was crap back then? (laughs) Nah, I hear what you’re saying. I can only attribute the growth in my work to the constant work with Eclectic Arts. The magazine has been such a strong motivator for me to elevate my Seattle Next Door work. With the magazine being distributed around the world, I really wanted my work to take a step forward so that the readers could see the other side of what I love to do.

What can readers expect from you in 2012?

Well, the continuation of my series “All Through The Years” for sure. Outside of that - very specific projects with some of the more creative based models I work with. Some for Eclectic Arts, some for clients, and, heck, some just for art’s sake.

The Sinful Looks Of...

T

here was a day that I used to flip through the pages of magazines, gazing upon the images of glamorous models captured within, ignorant of all the sweat and blood that goes into each photo shoot. A bit of envy might have been the blinders hiding the truth. The final product that we each see seems so effortless; a seductive pose, a sleek figure, a perfect setting, all captured with the click of a button. If it were only that simple. I experienced the punishing process of a real photo shoot last month when we offered our home to Gina Simon and Stitch to shoot the cover for The Sinner. I assure you, it’s not the glamorous assignment one would think.

Stitch was born in Landstuhl Germany, but doesn’t remember to much of that. She’s a military brat who has travelled the world from Stuttgart, Germany and Naples Italy, back to Georgia, Arizona, and Louisiana. She laughs about all the traveling, saying it made her very socially awkward. You don’t get the feeling of awkwardness from Stitch when speaking with her though, nor inexperience. She’s extremely professional, and entertaining to work with – even after hours of shooting and changing in and out of outfits.

After the tiring process I spoke to her about modeling and her plans for the future.

When did you first become interested in modeling?

Umm... I actually have been approached a couple of times by agents. Whether they were legitimate or not is questionable. But I actually checked out one. I went to the studio and I was crammed in a tutorial room with other girls. There was club music in the background and a power point going. At the end they hand you their price list and it is like f-that.

Have you modeled in the past?

Yeah Glamour Shots and Oldan Mills. No, this is my first and I really enjoyed it.

What led you to take the first step into modeling?

I have been on this kick to put myself out there more, being I am such a closed person.

Last year I tried out for the woman’s football league and ARRG. So I guess I am just trying to test my limits and find myself.

What was your shoot with Gina like?

Gina is awesome at what she does. I am definitely glad she popped my cherry. Not only is she amazing at what she does, she keeps her options open and just goes with whatever. She gave me a ton of great tips when posing. I was very comfortable with her which helps when your new at something. I hope to work with her again.

What was the most difficult part of the shoot?

Letting myself go...after that it was pretty easy. Keeping your poses fresh was really hard. It was very draining though. I slept awesome that night. I don’t think I moved once when in bed.

What was the most rewarding part for you?

I am forever badged as a sinner, teehee.

Where would you like to see your modeling go?

Anywhere would be great. But even if it doesn’t I have music to fall back on. So I won’t be too heart broken.

What’s next for you?

I am hoping within the next 3 to 6 months to be playing some local metal gigs, as soon as we get some more songs under our belt and I can get my vocals tweaked. But hell I’ve been able to do all of this other crazy shit. So I guess I will be on stage in a bit.

And last, any thoughts to share with our readers, or shouts of thanks?

Thank you Terri and Chuck, this really meant a lot that I could do this. Also thank you so much Gina for taking time out of your schedule to give me some pointers. I have already said this to all of you. I will not be heart broken if you want to use and abuse me again.

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A Luscious Tasting 3224 Locust Street

by Emily Eufinger “Our menu items are made from SCRATCH - diner fare with an occasional twist. REAL food. no mixes or pre-made ingredients. Everything is made by hand: breads and buns, pickles, sauces, ketchup, mozzarella and desserts. We cure our own bacon, make our own sausage and grind and mix our own burgers.”—plushstl.com

An eclectic new spot recently opened up downtown and I just couldn’t wait to sink my mits into it.

After reading their philosophy on serving food, who could resist? Plus: bacon. House-cured bacon.

Need I say more?

Plush has an open loft-like feel to it with multiple levels, several bars, and a venue space. It looks like it was decorated by the bastard lovechild of Andy Warhol and Salvador Dalí on peyote, which loosely translates to … feathers, white Christmas lights, full-size shuffleboard, leopard-print, mismatched furniture, hot pink high heels, plexi-glass and a prison phone, random science lab, threedimensional clothing nailed to the wall … you get the picture. Or maybe not, because Plush is just so all-over-the-place you have to see it for yourself.

The menu matches the décor, in that … nothing really matches. For starters, they serve breakfast all day, which features mouth-watering temptations like Banana Bread French Toast ($7), as well as Savory Smoked Tomato and Cracked Pepper Waffle with Salmon ($8).

“Quirky” doesn’t even begin to describe the menu. From Gazpacho Salad ($3.5-$6) to Shrimp Corn Dogs ($8.5), Plush can take something simple—something vaguely remembered from a far-off childhood memory—and make it uniquely blue-collar haute, like the Braised Short-Rib Sloppy Joes ($9) … Alberto Vargas meets Chuck Testa, if you will.

Like a playful dominatrix armed with riding crop, the Spicy Crawfish Roll with Zesty Apple Slaw ($9) pleasantly punishes the taste buds with just a pinch of heat. Light, fluffy, sweet homemade bread embraces the sandwich, creamy and lush as the clouds on which harp-strumming angels prop their asses and pluck dulcimer tunes.

The small dishes are intriguing, and the portion sizes are great bang for the buck. Eating the Espresso-Rubbed Ribs with Vanilla Molasses BBQ Sauce ($8.5) was like having a Guinness-pissing unicorn gallop down my tongue—truly, a fantasy come to life. The meat didn’t fall off the bone so much as it gleefully leapt towards ingestion. The Spinach, Fig, and Blue Cheese Wontons ($7) dipped in Sweet Chili Sauce were a Bollywood dance sequence of flavors.

I found the Shepherd’s Pie Potato Skins ($7) nothing short of genius; I expected a basic inverted Shepherd’s Pie, but instead the potato skins are smothered in cheddar and bacon, then topped with ground beef doused in a dark, deeply complex gravy. And I highly recommend ordering a tub—a tub— of the Rarebit Sauce and slathering it on anything and everything you can get your hands on (edible or otherwise), then diving naked into said tub and allowing its infinite tastiness to soak into your pores till you breathe, smell, and sweat essence of rarebit.

In a city abundant with great eateries, the idiosyncratic menu and eccentric atmosphere make Plush stand out. But it’s not different merely for the sake of being different; the unusual combinations of flavors and ingredients produce fantastic results. After all, atmosphere alone does not make a restaurant; food is always the bottom line, and the fare at Plush is exceptionally delectable.

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SERIAL KILLER HORrOrSCOPE

Pisces

W

ell Pisces, it seems that you have survived the darkness of winter, the hell of holiday and family. With each deep breath of fresh spring air you feel the pressure easing. You should, spring is a good time for most creatures. We migrate and mate, we sing and dance as the snow melts into waterfalls and flowers bloom. As a Pisces you’re inclined to sing and dance, but don’t expect Lady Luck to take a seat at your table while you sing karaoke at the local dive. Other fish like Johnny Cash, Kurt Cobain and Nat ‘King” Cole never had it that easy, so end your ridiculous fantasy now before it turns your blue sky grey. Besides, my disturbed Pisces, there are greater problems facing you this month.

Yes, you are a bit disturbed, and have been for some time. We both know that. I can sense the chaos of your soul miles away from you now as I sit behind my desk. Sure, you do a fine job of disguising it at work and play. At least you think that you do. Well friend, people whisper about your pot and alcohol use behind closed doors. They worry about you, and that they should. I feel your argument, that it’s just pot and it’s almost legal. No big deal. And your obsession with the cult is harmless, too, as is the pentagrams that you doodle and the satanic metal you blast late at night. No big deal. Or is it?

I don’t know if your god hears your prayers or not, those wishes of warmer thoughts with these sunny days, but I do. Unlike many that know you, I know your baggage. We all carry a suitcase of some size, but yours is a bit heavier than most. I won’t say it here, but I know you’ve experienced some far out shit in your teens. Of course we both know that those memories are just the tip of this painful root that haunts you night and day.

You still harbor ill feelings for your mother’s abusive behavior, and for good reasons. I know that when you doodle your “harmless” pentagrams late at night while singing “Night Prowler” by AC/ DC that you fantasize of carving this symbol onto her body, after having beaten and raped her. Like I said, you’re fucked up. As you sing, “Was that a noise outside your window? What’s that shadow on the blind? As you lie there naked like a body in a tomb, suspended animation as I slip into your room...” evil thoughts enter your mind. Thoughts of climbing in windows and acting out your fantasies on innocent strangers. You need help Pisces, a team of psychiatrists for that matter working around the clock to flatten the wrinkles in your warped mind.

Heed my advice before you find yourself standing over some elderly woman, gun in hand, cigarette in mouth. They’ll be no turning back when that stoned, drunk night becomes a reality. They’ll be no “sorry”, no passing go again, no $200. Not one juror will care about the abuse and the violence of your youth, only the drugs and booze and the satanic music and cult infatuation that stained your crime scene. And the “I heard voices” defense will get you nothing but laughs. So will telling the court your thoughts: “You do not understand me. I do not expect you to. You are not capable of it.

I am beyond your experience. I am beyond good and evil. Legions of the night, night breed, repeat not the errors of night prowler and show no mercy.

I will be avenged. Lucifer dwells within us all.”

Those may not be your thoughts word for word, but they did come from another famous Pisces, Ricardo Muñoz Ramírez, AKA: The Night Stalker.

On each of the forty-three counts against him the jury found him guilty, landing him with nineteen “special circumstances” that gave him nineteen death sentences.

So my dear Pisces, take a vacation to Mexico.

Go bask in the sun, drink margaritas all day, smoke pot all night, and for god’s sake, get fucking laid!

Let those bad memories die. If not, you may find your sunny days are hindered by concrete and steel bars. And that’s not a healthy place for a fish.

Disclaimer: For all you crazy, weirdos out there, this horrorscope is for entertainment purposes only. It does not in any shape or form depict any real characters or situations in your near future. So please don’t kill anyone.

Killings bad, MmmKay?

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Cannibalism in Edinburgh

by Chuck Foster

SERIAL KILLERS, cannibals and ruthless murderers have probably existed since man first stood upright, or since the incest of Adam and Eve populated the world. Here in America, though, this abnormal behavior has haunted friends and foes as long as our history itself. But what about the rest of the world? In my search for answers to questions that few would care to dig up, I found the disturbing tale of the Beane family - a family so evil that their actions terrified the people of Edinburgh in a time when cruel and unusual punishment was the norm of the land.

Sawney Beane was a Scot born outside of Edinburgh during the dominant reign of Queen Elizabeth, about the same time King James VI only governed Scotland. The lack of a socialized education separated class and reduced peasant families to generations of slave labor and poverty. Young Beane's life was no different having been born the son of a ditch digger. At an early age he fled his clan with a wretched young Las as vile and wicked as himself with hopes of finding riches and respect in lands farther away.

The two traveled across country to the coast, near the town of Galloway, where they transformed a large cave into a home. With little money for food and a family in the works, Beane took the trade of robbery to survive.

Even though he wasn't an educated man, he knew that he couldn't allow any of his victims to escape - or live.

As Beane and his wife began their mischief on the trails of the Scottish coast they were clever enough not to sell stolen valuables that could be recognized, but they quickly discovered this tactic alone couldn't provide enough money for food.

Facing the problem of possible starvation for himself and his family, they started eating the bodies of their victims. The two took on the task of disemboweling, dismembering and cutting the limbs off of their victims in small sections, which were pickled and hung through certain parts of the cave. This bizarre survival mechanism allowed the family to grow, if not thrive, for more than 20 years - not to mention raise a family of 46 children and grandchildren.

In their last days the family consisted of Beane, his wife, eight sons, six daughters, 18 grandsons and 14 granddaughters, who all lived as they had been raised. They ate human flesh, murdered without regret or remorse, and even worse, partook in incest as a normal part of family life.

With a stockpile of food and valuables at hand the family needed very little from the nearby towns, seldom venturing into them, except for on rare occasions. This macabre seclusion allowed the family to escape detection while strange disappearances plagued the Scotland coastline for years on end. Another factor of their success was the fact that their cave was only known by a few locals, who considered it to be unlivable for even rats as the tide was thought to flood the entire cave twice a day - which it did not. Whether this was good planning by Beane or just blind luck, it worked in his favor, hiding the family's monstrous lifestyle. That was until Beane made his first - and last - mistake.

Having suffered years of missing travelers and loved ones, the townspeople were extremely hesitant to travel the trails from town to town. Stories of pickled body parts found washing ashore from time to time terrified many of them with thoughts of unimaginable deaths and a monster running free across the lands eating human flesh.

Little did they know that the body parts found along the beaches were either discarded by the Beanes or washed away from their cave during extremely high tides. But the townspeople never thought a family, let alone a person, could commit such heinous crimes.

The Beanes' luck finally ran out one dreary night when the clan tried to capture a young man and his wife on horseback returning from the fare. As the man fought to protect himself, his wife was brought down off her horse and murdered before his eyes. In a blind rage he trampled a few of the Beanes, and within moments before he too was taken and murdered, a group of travelers stumbled across the attack and fought the Beanes off.

The Beanes' retreat from the scene gave authorities their first break in the two-decade-old case, which led to King James and an army of men and tracking dogs to ascend upon the town of Galloway with a mighty vengeance.

The army scoured the coast, almost missing the Beanes' lair until the dogs picked up on the scent of death at the edge of the cave. The king's men entered with swords pulled and torches flaming, only to discover one of the most repulsive sights mankind has ever witnessed - a 25-year-old human slaughterhouse.

After the men passed by hundreds of bones, dangling limbs, and piles of carcasses and valuables, they found the entire Beane family hiding at the end of the cave. The Beane family was then seized and taken back to Galloway, where they were denied trial for such appalling crimes against humanity. The entire family was found guilty and sentenced to death - even the youngest of the children were executed.

The Beane men were ruthlessly dismembered, as their victims were. Their arms and legs were amputated, where they slowly bled to death before the women who waited their own deaths. The women were then burned to death in several raging fires like the witches they were thought to be.

What lesson can we learn from a story like this? Maybe to realize that there will always be people who wish to hunt and kill others for simple joy - that some of mankind will always be simple-minded animals who act with no consciousness of another's life. Maybe we'll realize that in certain situations we should treat strangers as strangers - not friends - until proven otherwise. If not, you may find your head in the hands of a cannibalistic serial killer while his family disembowels your body for jerky.

Think Outside The Cage with Kendra Holliday of The Beautiful Kind

What’s a Desperate Woman to Do? Dear Kendra, I am fed up. I have been seeing a guy for a year. We started out spending endless days in bed and having sex all the time. But the longer I knew him, the less sex we had. I tried to use my feminine wiles to seduce him but he is more experienced than I am and a WAY bigger freak.

My coy flirting that usually works on the weak-minded males doesn’t work on him. He has some issues that date back to childhood, which is a reason I’m scared to push anything.

Also, I’m terrified of him saying those fatal words “I just don’t like you like that.” I’m also a little worried I’ll come off as too innocent and naive.

We have been kinda on and off.

We support each other and care deeply for one another. We can spend days together and not get sick of each other but when the subject of sex comes up, he balks at the idea saying that “he doesn’t see a problem.” Well, I DO! He may reach for me once a month… this does NOT satisfy my “freak” side. Just the thought of him gets me all gooey in all the right places. But when I want him, I run into Photo: Connie LaFlam this wall. I can’t read this guy. Most men I can crack like a nutshell, but this guy has me puzzled.

He has had some serious stressors in his life for the past .. gee… almost a year. I think he’s even so stressed out that he has stopped masturbating, a favorite hobby of his. So, not only am I worried that I’ll shrivel, but I’m worried about him, too. I have sex like a madwoman when I’m stressed out, but he seems to retract.

I think that taking his frustrations out in sex would help him… and I want him to know that I am MORE than willing to help him with this… I just don’t know how to approach the subject. My closest friends know me as one of the most sexual people they know. I’m nervous, I’m horny. How do I read this complicated male? How do I express to him that I want to get “freaky” with him without coming off as pushy? ~Desperately Wanting Dear Desperately Wanting, Seems to me like your relationship has suffered from bad timing. I’m not sure what all he has going on right now, but it sounds like he’s juggling a lot, and he’s dropped the sex ball.

So readers, should we tell her to stick it out and wait for him to be less stressed? We sure don’t have his side of it, but it sounds like she isn’t his priority.

I know, I KNOW, you all want me to give her hints on how to win him back and make things happily ever after with THIS GUY, because they paired up and therefore should stick it out. Well, guess what? We don’t have to adhere to archaic laws and arranged marriages in this day and age. Burn me at the stake for saying so, but it sounds like these two are incompatible.

Ms. Desperate, I’m not here to dish out false hope and bandaids. You can be supportive, but you can’t change a person or force them to be into you. My biggest concern in regards to this situation is that you aren’t getting your physical and emotional needs met. You deserve passion and happiness!

The way I see it, you can either stay with him and find someone else who can fulfill you with his blessing (as in a poly arrangement), OR you can break it off with him and find someone better suited for you. A lot of people in your situation opt for cheating due to not being able to stomach these options, but that only introduces more guilt and woe.

And finally: FACE YOUR FEARS. Courage is doing something you feel you have to do, even though you are scared just thinking about it. You are not at his mercy. Live your life on your terms.

ask@thebeautifulkind.com www.thebeautifulkind.com Got a sex, relationship, BDSM or fetish related question? Ask your local sexpert, Kendra Holliday, Writer & Editor of The Beautiful Kind, and Co-Founder of Sex Positive St. Louis.

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This, I Shamelessly Tell You My thoughts on the Oscars and Ruminations on the Whole, “But-I’m-Not a-‘Ma’am’ Thing”

by James Stansberry

A

North St Louis Mandina’s 1319 St Louis Ave Dutch Town Friendly’s 3503 Roger Pl South County Steel & Ink Studio 3561 Ritz Center MOFO The Silver Ballroom 4701 Mofo Rd at Itaska Tin Hat 3157 Mofo Rd South City Shameless Grounds 2650 Sidney The Heavy Anchor 5226 Gravois

Jefferson Ave Bistro 3701 S Jefferson Ave Cherokee District Apop Records 2831 Cherokee St Downtown Crack Fox 1114 Olive St Soulard Shanti Tavern 825 Allen DB’s Sportsbar 1615 S Broadway Laclede Landing Show Me’s 724 N 2nd St Big Daddy’s 118 Morgan St

Affton Bob’s Liquor 9347 Gravois Rd Overland Just Bill’s 2543 Woodson Rd Priscilla’s 10210 Page Ave Central West End 34 Club 34 N Euclid Tom’s Bar & Grill 20 S Euclid The Grove Just John’s 4112 Manchester Ave The Atomic Cowboy 4140 Manchester Ave

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fter just watching the Oscars on my secondhand (my ex gave me this one, when he updated to a newer model, flat screen that has all the good bells and whistles) TV, I’ve concluded two things. One: Hollywood’s not ready to give an Oscar to an actress who plays a character who exacts wicked revenge on the man who rapes her. In The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo Lisabeth gives the guy the same backdoor action sans lube that he previously gave her. Two: this isn’t the year Hollywood likes Trans characters. See Glenn Close dressed as a man in Alfed Nobs. Still, seeing some larger women and Black folks get recognized, I wasn’t too unhappy.

That out of the way, I can move on to things at hand. I’m still working on matters of getting the whole repayment of a ridiculously expensive bill from SHA settled, and in a way that meets my budget. That being the budget of one of the ninety-nine per cent, an artist/writer/psychic who barely keeps his kitties fed, and is still wishing for some kind of miracle to be able to afford to dress like the dandy my male persona seems to want to go in.

Still, there’s at least been more progress on this little mess than when I last wrote in this column, thanks to the building counselor ( a lovely man who reminds me of my sweetie, only this guy’s not Trans, and is younger than my darling subbie), and the assistant to the horrible woman who seems to want to only be known by her badly written e-mails in response to my trying to get a face to face meeting, believing that if she met me, she’d stop being such a beotch about the whole situation. Nothing like trying to get government-run organizations, or rather the folks in upper positions in these places, to act like human beings with compassion, instead of having them act like jerks.

At least the assistant guy accepted my rent payment, so I’m not going to be making my home under a bridge.

Aside from this nagging problem, life’s pretty good since the move to the new neighborhood. By the time you read this, dear readers, I’ll have my second piece of art up in the gallery I belong to, and those folks are now familiar with my new self (though some are still a little confused about the name change and can’t seem to wrap their heads around the fact that the name fits with the fact that I’m becoming more and more comfortable with being a man in a woman’s body, than I was pretending to be a hardcore Dyke, or Bi, the way I used to when I first joined the gallery). Interesting how a lot of folks are okay with me being a pretty dysfunctional person, so long as I was still wearing make-up, having really, really unhappy relationships with waste-case guys (I still shake my own head when I think of a couple of the ones I had long before I met my life partner/subbie).

It’s also interesting to find that now I’m more comfortable being addressed as James, and dressing the part.

Women seem to find it hard to talk to me – okay, some women don’t, but women in the general public don’t know what to do with me. Let’s just say that I think, because most women expect folks they see as women (I still get called ‘ma’am’, remember?) to act a certain way, (gossipy, giggly and in most ways acting part of a high school pack, something I’ve never been comfortable with) I’m finding that except for my sweetie, (who is occasionally a girlfriend as well as a boyfriend),women, even Lesbians, are wary of me, in the same way they are wary of most men. It’s strange to be on this freaky edge, as I have described it to my sweetie. Let’s just say, straight/vanilla society has a long way to go toward real gender progress.

There’s also the interesting development of how I find myself under the recent alignment of stars, particularly Neptune entering Pisces, an interesting mix of female and male. And therefore more of a Gay man than the straight man I thought I was. Some of us are more complicated than others; I think. Indeed! Nothing like observing an attractive (usually Asian), male on the bus only to remember, he’s seeing another man (which is a good thing, actually). The looks manifest as everything from raised eyebrows to a bemused smile, but one thing is for sure: being James is not boring, and the journey’s certainly taking some interesting trips and turns.

This, I shamelessly tell you.

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Seattle, WA