Martins poem book New poems

I love seaside wind farms It’s a bit like TV aerials, the First was thought an ‘Eye Sore’, but they are now never taken to book.

Lets have LOTS and LOTS, the BIGGER the better and PLEASE make them QUITE, It will be money well spent no matter how long it took.

WHO LOOKS OUT TO SEA for long anyway and in a splendid Sunset their GLINTING Blades will improve a Sunny Outlook

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Meet the ancestors If you could go back in Time and visit our Cavemen Ancestors, what would you take with you?

Something ‘Pocket Size’ is the RULE. So NO AK47’s, you’d SOON be OUT of ammo anyway and friends TOO. Remember you don’t want to be EATEN, so you Might get away with ACTING as a GOD to be feared, for a WHILE at least.

Sooner or later they’ll catch on and Start a COO, so don’t forget where you put your return ticket, or you MIGHT become their TASTY FEAST.

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Making stinking Abbott cheese First get your Cow, a Sheep and a small Pig, CHOP FINE, add Garlic essence to Taste, then BOIL for ONE Hour.

Wait till COOL and spread out to Bake under a HOT sun for at least a DAY, then ADD three OLD socks and a Marigold Flower.

The PONG is something to BEHOLD, the Taste, a Little ACQUIRED, it needs to mature now for one hundred days in OAK Vats, so as NOT to over power.

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Classic story songs The DEVIL went down to Georgia, LOOKING for a SOUL to steel. WHAT a First line of a Song to Write that got BETTER and BETTER to hear.

‘WALKED’ a ‘BIG’ Man, ‘BIG JOHN’, ‘BIG BAD JOHN’, a Splendid line to Pen in a Mining Disaster story, Portraying WELL the HEROISM, Dangers and the FEARS. The Convoy of Trucks with ‘BREAKER, BREAKER’, ‘Rubber Duck’, putting the Hammer Down, is One of the ALL TIME Greats and SO pleasing to my ears.

A ‘Boy Named SUE’, by mister Cash makes me Grin EVERY TIME, I can just imagine the GUYS meeting and the Final ending CHEERS.

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Risky Got a DEATH WISH? Try Rock Climbing, Motor Cycling, Horse Riding and a BUNGY Jump.

One of them will get you for SURE, Don’t live life CAREFUL, Where’s the FUN in that, Go OUT SMILING in a BIG Spat and MESSY Thump!

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Horses Riding a Motorbike is a DANGEROUS thing to do, but Riding a HORSE on our highways is just as RISKY too!

They PLOD Along with NO lights or Bells to WARN and MESS the roads with PILES OF POO! If riders had to ‘Pick Up’, as we do for Dogs, they’d stay SAFE in Fields with Friends that ‘BA’, ‘BLEET’ and ‘MOO’!

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The note Dear Scott the DJ, we’ve NEVER spoke, but I had to write to Comment on your little Radio JOKE. My Husband LAUGHED and LAUGHED So Hard, in Fact he dropped down DEAD. THANK YOU VERY MUCH, Best Regards Marge and now deceased Old FRED.

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True love I’m VERY glad, also just a Little SAD that Tommy the Snail and Tessa the Bee have fallen in LOVE, Oh DEAR! It was the Marigolds that brought them together, when their Eyes met, that was IT, I’m WELLING up A TEAR. The Parents made it CLEAR, this was NOT a Match to BLESS, as would their Kiddies, ‘FLY’, ‘SLITHER SLIDE’ or ‘BOTH’.

The Trains just left and they’re on their way to GRETNA GREEN, they say LOVE Conquers ALL, so Good Luck you Handsome Pair and take your ‘Blessed OATH’.

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The Visit What would be the FIRST communications we would make with an ALIEN VISITOR? Surely MATHEMATICAL, Perhaps start with Pi! Followed up with SOME of the PYTHAGORAS Theories, his Right Angled Triangle of 3, 4 and 5 Side proportions is SIMPLE ENOUGH and ONLY Then a Greeting of ’Hi’!

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How to make a British comedy poet FIRST Ban common sense, next RUIN the Countries economy, make ALL GP’s to be SELF EMPLOYED and then Start a FUTILE WAR. Promote Tax Bills to make the EYES water and encourage an economic and Political CONTROLLED system with COMPLICATIONS, Rules, QUANGO’S, Plus Restrictions that Frustrates ‘ALL’ to the Very CORE. Just a SILLY Sarcastic RANT, but Seriously, DO Pen your ‘Poetic Thoughts’ and write from LIFE, Let you imagination, ‘RUN’, ‘SKIP’, ‘FLY’ and ‘SORE’.

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Nothing is special The NOTHING that makes up Most of our UNIVERSE is I believe, an INFINITE Sized, INVISIBLE, Single Element that RESISTS COMPLETELY a Black Holes Power of GRAB and PULL. SO ‘NOTHING’ is quite safe from Spaces VERACIOUS BAD Boy ‘Spinning’ pits of DESTRUCTION, that will NEVER EVER be FULL!

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A passion to be thin Try doing some STRESSFUL Stuff, like a Parachute Jump in the BUFF, Fly a home made Micro-light and take some SECRET Lovers, AT LEAST FOUR! Borrow or buy a BIG Dog to share your meals, FIFTY, FIFTY and the walkies required to PREVENT a POGGY Pooch will SHED the pounds for SURE.

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Inventors Being Eccentric, or Some might say CRACKERS, is a Really Smart thing to be.

This World is Built on ‘Out There’ idea’s, if it was NOT for the Slightly strange among us, we’d STILL live UN-COMPLICATED Lives, HAPPY and FREE!

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Starting a business venture Working for yourself can be a PRECARIOUS thing to do, but a Part time DABBLE could Broaden your Outlook and PERHAPS the Odd PERK. So many idea’s have been developed and marketed from a Garage or a Kitchen at the WEEKEND and time after Work.

Why not have a bash and think of something OUTRAGEOUS, NOVEL and NEW, it Might even buy you a SPORTY Merc.

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Musical re-call I’m VERY impressed with the memory that some people posses to re-call and play MUSIC by Ear, it’s AWESOMELY Cleaver in my Book.

My mate Oink Murphy plays a MEAN Air Guitar, you get to hear a FULL Recital of His favourite Guitar tunes, with ALL sounds

by VOICE. TWANGED, DINGED, PINGED and Screech LOUD till BEGGED PROFUSELY to Shut the FECK Up!

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Robots I Fear that Human size ROBOTS will SOON be here, so that we don’t FULLY Trust them, they should ALL have an EVIL TYRANT’S FACE. As soon as they can MIMIC ALL Human actions in EVERY way, they should send them ALL Off to Explore OUTER SPACE. They could TERRA-FORM the Planets for us, Mine ALL the Good stuff and send it back to EARTH, their Home World Base.

I would like to go into DEEP SPACE too, but a Super fast engine, Gravity machine, Air, Food and All sorts of other stuff needed, it will NOT be soon for me to pack a SUIT CASE. The Universe is going to END one day, so lets STOP Fighting each other, Get INVENTING and Forget about RELIGION and RACE.

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The slime Is this the END for us ALL on this World, a Pink coloured SLIME is on it’s way to us, will anyone have a GOOD Idea to STOP it’s Advancing POWER. The GOOY Stuff escaped from a Science Lab, got WET and Now DOUBLES in size EVERY single HOUR. JUST KIDDING, but it is a SCARY Warning to be careful where we Allow SCIENCE to lead us, the Slime would have SMOTHERED us ALL, even those in their IVORY TOWER.

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The games A Highland Games Summer party is on the Farm today and the Bulls are ‘Hammer Throwing’ the Pigs, they ALWAYS do LOVE to FLY. There’s WANGING of the Farmers Wellies, Haggis Hunting and Hedge Hog Flinging, a Prize has been donated by the Farmers wife of a MASSIVE Apple pie.

The Tough Guy Gorillas are holding a CATCH the JAVELIN and HEADING the SHOT display, they’re ALWAYS Keen to show off their POWERFUL Pect’s and HUGE Thighs.

The Rams have teamed up with the Shire Horses for a HEAD BUTTING Joust and the day ends with a Friendly TAG TEAM Wrestling match and a LOT of Laughing Cries.

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Bulldogs I’m SURE that Bulldogs are happy Dogs, but they don’t seem to show it.

They have such a SHORT tail to wag and a GRIN like a box of Chiselly spanners, plus stubby Bowed legs, SO Prefer to SIT. Lets try and Breed out some of their painful looking Attributes, a longer tail at the VERY least, plus Straighter LONGER legs, so BETTER to Scamper and keep FIT.

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