2014 JAN | FEB Set Apart Girl Issue by Ellerslie

setapartgirl LESLIE LUDY’S

MAGAZINE

Women of Christian History A NEW SERIES FROM LESLIE, p. 8

LIVING SET-APART

WHEN YOUR FAMILY DOESN’T, p 45

LIFE DECISION MAKING SET APART TEAM ARTICLE, p 52

Gospel-Grounded FEMININITY, p. 16

MEET BROOKE Sister of the Common Life, p. 70

JAN/FEB 2014

FOUNDER’S letter

HAPPY NEW YEAR from the Ludy family

FOR SOME REASON, starting a new year often causes us to try to tap into our own human willpower. We think, ‘this year, I will “dig down deep” and exercise more, eat right, reach my personal goals, be a nicer person, etc. I know I can do it this time!’ And yet, while human willpower may help us accomplish certain things, the set-apart life that God has called us to is not something we can achieve in our own strength. Living set-apart for Christ requires us to make decisions that are excruciatingly difficult at times, like standing for truth when everyone else is compromising, or choosing to forgive even when the other person doesn’t deserve it. (This magazine issue contains articles on both of these issues!) Making godly

decisions like these is truly impossible in our own strength. And yet, the exciting reality for those who are in Christ is that there is supernatural grace available for each and every step of obedience that He asks us to take. Philippians 4:13 says, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Our focus should never be on our own strength, willpower, or potential – but on the Mighty God we serve. Through our God, we shall do valiantly! (See Ps. 108:13.) As you head into a new year, may this magazine issue encourage and strengthen you to rely on the grace of God to live a life that is truly impossible in your own strength!

-Leslie

© 2013 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. This magazine contains material protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No part of this magazine may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without express written permission from Leslie Ludy and Set Apart Girl®.

setapartgirl CONFERENCE

the 2014 ANNUAL

with bestselling author LESLIE LUDY & other guest speakers

IN Windsor, Colorado or by LIVE simulcast

Come Away JUNE 6-8, 2014

WITH JESUS

Letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s make some summer plans!

OPEN THE BROCHURE

IN THIS

issue

45 8

16 SET APART FEMININITY

Explore God’s Sacred Intent for Your Life 8 l Set-Apart Women in History

Corrie ten Boom: The Power of Forgiveness

16 l Gospel-Grounded Femininity

The True Source of Set-Apartness

SET APART WALK

Cultivate Your Daily Romance with Christ 26 l Obedience: The Way to Deeper

Intimacy with the Savior

SET APART RELATIONSHIPS Honoring God in Love and Romance 36 l Lots of Mirages, Very Few Marriages

From a Warrior-Poet

SET APART FAMILY

Discovering God’s Heart for Home and Family 45 l Living Set-Apart

When Your Family Doesn’t

0 6

26 52

ineveryissue

SET APART LIFESTYLE

Applying the Gospel to Everday Life 52 l Life Decision Making Applying Wisdom to the Course of Life The Set-Apart Girl Team Shares

60 l Lessons From the Mission Field:

Laying Down Expectations

setapartgirl® playlist

Devotionals

Sister of the Common Life

Leslie’s Kiddo Spot

Recommendations

Unless otherwise noted, all Scripture is taken from the New King James Version. © 2013 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. This magazine contains material protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No part of this magazine may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without express written permission from Leslie Ludy and Set Apart Girl®.

setapartgirl PLAYLIST

All of these songs can be found on iTunes!

ABOUT THE

LESLIE’S PICK:

founder

WHAT JOY

by Generation Church is a very uplifting song that reminds me of all the reasons I have to rejoice each and every day!

GRACE’S PICK:

HUMBLE Audrey Assad MANDY’S PICK:

NO SACRIFICE by Jason Upton HEATHER’S PICK:

LIFT MY LIFE UP by Unspoken ELSJE’S PICK:

THOUGH YOU SLAY ME by Shane & Shane LAUREN’S PICK:

YOURS WILL BE

(THE ONLY NAME) by Big Daddy Weave ANNIE’S PICK:

DRAW NEAR by Bethel Music & Jeremy Riddle

LESLIE LUDY is a bestselling author and speaker with a passion for reaching her generation with the hope of Christ. She and her husband Eric have been writing and speaking together for the past eighteen years. Widely known for their bestselling classic, When God Writes Your Love Story, Eric and Leslie have become foremost voices on some of the most poignant issues facing the Church today, such as relationships, purity, holiness, and living a fully consecrated life for Christ. Together, they are the authors of eighteen books that have been translated into over a dozen languages around the world. For more about Leslie’s books, click here. Leslie and Eric are the founders and directors of Ellerslie Leadership Training based in Windsor, Colorado – an intensive discipleship training program that prepares future leaders for worldimpacting Christian service, and draws men and women of all ages from around the world.

set-apart women FROM CHRISTIAN HISTORY A new series!

A NOTE FROM LESLIE:

Christian history is filled with inspiring examples of women who gave their lives fully to Jesus Christ and changed the world as a result. In this new series, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m excited to share glimpses of their stories and explore the powerful truths that we can learn through their examples!

SET APART

femininity

Corrie ten Boom

THE POWER OF FORGIVENESS by LESLIE LUDY Photos of Corrie ten Boom from www.tenboom.org and www.joniandfriends.org

ÂŠ 2013 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. This magazine contains material protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No part of this magazine may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without express written permission from Leslie Ludy and Set Apart GirlÂŽ.

GERMANY 1938 Corrie ten Boom lay quietly on the hard wooden plank, covered with filthy, flea-infested straw, fighting back waves of nausea and claustrophobia. She lifted a weak hand to her feverish face. All around her, above her, and below her were hundreds of other female prisoners, crammed mercilessly on thin plywood slats, piled so closely on top of each other that it was nearly impossible to breathe, let alone move. Images of her comfortable, inviting home back in Holland darted in and out of her consciousness like a vague, distant dream. How long had this nightmare been her reality? It seemed like years since she had slept in a real bed with clean sheets or taken a bite of warm, nourishing food. Her mind drifted back to the unforgettable day when she, along with her father and her sister, Betsie, had been arrested for hiding Jews from the cruel hands of the Gestapo. Since then, she had been surrounded by inhumane torture, festering disease, and unspeakable pain and suffering. After many long weeks in a dark and crowded prison cell in Holland, Corrie and her sister Betsie had been packed into a dirty freight car along with eighty other sobbing, suffocating women and hauled to Ravensbr端ck, the dreaded concentration

camp in the heart of Germany. For four days the women were crammed tightly against each other in the pitch-dark, sweltering car, without food or water, until at last the train halted and they were herded into the camp by screaming prison guards with submachine guns. Corrie and Betsie had been told that conditions at Ravensbr端ck were bad, but nothing had prepared them for this. Fourteen hundred women had been forced to sleep in a concrete room that was made to hold only four hundred. The bedding hay was soiled and rancid. Eight putrid, overflowing toilets served the entire room, and to reach them they had to crawl over rows of the overcrowded, sagging platforms that served as the makeshift beds. Roll call came at 4:30 a.m. sharp, followed by an eleven-hour day of heavy labor as

息 2013 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. This magazine contains material protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No part of this magazine may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without express written permission from Leslie Ludy and Set Apart Girl速.

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they listened to the bellows and screams of angry supervisors. Conditions were so terrible that hundreds of women died in the labor camp, including Corrieâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s sister Betsie. And yet, through it all, Corrie leaned on Jesus Christ for supernatural strength to endure hardship as a good soldier of Christ. Instead of focusing on her own misery, she turned outward to the women around her to give them hope, comfort, and peace in the Truth of Christ. (Story adapted from The Hiding Place by Corrie ten Boom)

After enduring unspeakable miseries, including the death of her sister, Corrie relied on the grace of God to forgive her enemies and become a living testimony of the power of God. When she was finally released from prison, Corrie began to travel the world and speak about His amazing grace.

A FEW YEARS LATER... One night, after sharing her testimony at a church in Germany, a man approached her. “What you said tonight greatly impacted me,” he said sincerely. “I have done many things in my life that I deeply regret. What a miracle to know that Christ is willing to forgive even me.” As he was speaking, Corrie froze in shock. She recognized him. He had been a guard at the concentration camp where Betsie had lost her life – one of the very cruelest guards. And now he was extending his hand in friendship to her. All of the old emotions – the anger, resentment, and indignation that she’d experienced in the camp came flooding back. She found herself unable to take the man’s hand or

even reply. She felt God challenging her to forgive him, just as she had been forgiven and washed clean by Jesus’ blood for her own sins: I tried to smile, I struggled to raise my hand. I could not. I felt nothing, not the slightest spark of warmth or charity. And so again I breathed a silent prayer. Jesus, I prayed, I cannot forgive him. Give me Your forgiveness. “You take the step of obedience,” came God’s gentle reply, “and I will do the rest.”

You take the step of obedience...and I will do the rest.

SET APART So Corrie obeyed. She reached out and shook the man’s hand. As she did so, the supernatural love of Christ flooded her heart. She saw him as Christ did. And her bitterness was replaced by love and compassion: As I took his hand the most incredible thing happened. From my shoulder along my arm and through my hand a current seemed to pass from me to him, while into my heart sprang a love for this stranger that almost overwhelmed me. And so I discovered that it is not on our forgiveness any more than on our goodness that the world’s healing hinges, but on His. When He tells us to love our enemies, He gives, along with the command, the love itself. (Story adapted from Tramp for the Lord by Corrie ten Boom)

GLEANING FROM CORRIE’S EXAMPLE As Corrie’s testimony proves, forgiveness is not primarily a matter of feeling, but a matter of choice; a decision to obey. When we simply say, “Lord, I choose to let this go; to give this offense to You instead of carrying it,” God supplies the willingness, the love, and the compassion needed to practically live it out. When it comes to a decision of whether or not to forgive,

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we must remember that we ourselves have been forgiven and delivered from an eternity in hell. We did not deserve Christ’s unconditional love, but He gave it anyway. And He asks us to do the same in return – to forgive even those who are undeserving. I often think of Corrie’s amazing story of forgiveness when I am struggling to let offenses go. This past year, my husband and I discovered that we had been deliberately deceived by someone we had trusted, and there were moments in the process when I wondered if I’d ever truly be able to move past the anger and grief I felt. But whenever I begin to think that it’s truly impossible to forgive the person who wronged me, I remember the women throughout Christian history who, like Corrie, forgave in circumstances when only the supernatural grace of God could have enabled them to do so. It isn’t a matter of whether the other person deserves forgiveness or not. True forgiveness means leaning upon the grace of God to forgive others just as He has forgiven us. Whether they deserve it or not. If Christ can forgive me and offer me the grace I don’t deserve, how can I possibly refuse to forgive those who wrong me? Nowhere is this principle better illustrated than in Matthew 18:22-35, when Jesus tells

the parable of a servant who was about to be thrown into prison because he owed a tremendous debt to his master. Yet he begged mercy from his creditor, and the man forgave him the debt. Then that same man went out and found a fellow servant who owed him a small amount of money. Rather than offering the same forgiveness that he had received, he took the fellow servant by the throat, demanded the money, and even when the man pleaded for mercy, he refused to give it. Jesus is saying, “When you refuse to forgive those who wrong you – you are disregarding the great debt I have forgiven you. You are trampling upon the grace I have offered you.” Corrie’s example reminds me that forgiveness is possible no matter what hurts I have experienced – not through human willpower, but through the supernatural, amazing grace of the One who forgave my great debt even when I did not deserve it. Her story of reaching out her hand to her enemy to forgive as an act of obedience, not emotion, is one of the most powerful examples of Biblical forgiveness I’ve ever seen. We must also remember that being a gracious, forgiving woman does not merely apply to the major offenses that have happened in our lives, but in the way we treat people on a daily basis. Long

before Corrie came face to face with the former prison guard, she practiced loving and forgiving others on a daily basis, even in the worst conditions imaginable. Everyday, we encounter rude, insensitive people. We come across undesirable, sinful people. We rub shoulders with arrogant, self-focused people. We take the brunt of others’ stress. There are two ways to respond; with nobility or with selfishness.

...forgiveness is possible no matter what hurts I have experienced not through human willpower, but through the supernatural, amazing grace of the One who forgave my great debt... A Christ-like woman does not take offense easily. She is not critical and judgmental toward others. She doesn’t turn down her nose at undesirable people. Rather, she’s a reflection of 1 Corinthians 13:

SET APART Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. These are not meant to be flowery words on a page. This is a beautiful description of Christlike love in action – a vivid picture of the way we are called to live no matter what our circumstances, as Corrie’s life beautifully illustrates. Remember, if God can give Corrie ten Boom grace to forgive and love in a filthy prison camp and the power to extend grace to one of the men responsible for her sister’s death, he can certainly give us everything that we need to forgive the people who have wronged us. Have you been deeply hurt by someone? Don’t worry about whether you have the strength to forgive that person or not. Simply lean upon the only One who does, as Corrie did, and you will become a channel of His supernatural grace! *Note: To read more about Corrie’s amazing story, I highly recommend her books, The Hiding Place and Tramp for the Lord.

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SET APART

femininity

GOSPEL

GROUNDED

femininity

The True Source of Set-Apartness

by LYDIA COVEY

I SETTLED DOWN IN A SMALL CORNER OF THE CAFÉ WITH

a steaming bowl of soup, ready for a quiet hour of journaling after a busy day. Quickly, I realized it wouldn’t be very quiet as a loud group of women began gathering near me. I tried shutting their voices out but couldn’t help overhearing the dynamic conversation. A few of the women seemed to be leading the group and selling them on some incredible healing drink that cures everything. According to them this miracle drink heals everything from headaches to cancer. The ladies went on to give personal testimonies, vividly describing how it changed their lives in radical ways. They went from feeling dead and depressed to now having energy, joy, and purpose. My mind was no longer on my journaling but thoroughly intrigued by the passion with which these women spoke . . . about a drink. One lady commented that once she experienced the change in her life she couldn’t help telling every single person about it. Another joined in saying her whole reason for being a saleslady for the drink was not for selfish gain but solely for the good of other people, that they might experience such a new life. They nodded

in agreement that this was their new purpose and responsibility - to tell others about this miracle drink and the new life it gives. Sitting in that corner, I was literally astounded. Everything these women were saying sounded as though they were talking about the Gospel! The descriptions and testimonies they shared were so powerful all I could think about was the Gospel; the incredible work of Jesus. He who heals, gives life, and so radically changes a person. As I drove home, the whole scene continued to replay in my mind, and a deep, convicting sadness washed over me. Am I sharing the Gospel with such

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TRUE, GODLY, SET-APART FEMININITY STEMS FROM ONE THING - THE WORK OF JESUS CHRIST TRANSFORMING OUR LIVES... passion? Do I truly live with a new purpose to tell others about the life Jesus gives? Have I ever gathered a group of ladies with the sole reason to share the Gospel? The words of one lady rang through my mind, “I can’t help but tell every single person I talk to about this life changing drink.” Is this my outlook on every person I meet and speak with? Is my one true goal to share the life-changing Gospel? Oh, how I desire that to be the marked definition of my life. There is no other reason to live. “…woe is unto me, if I preach not the Gospel!” (1 Cor. 9:16) As I continue to recall this scene, God has used it to give me a better understanding of the high calling we as believers have to preach the Gospel. We are given the privilege and duty to spread the incredible good news of Jesus Christ. And our lives are to display the transforming power of the Cross. Understanding these facets more fully and deeply leads me to see

how, as women, they not only affect our femininity but are the foundation of it. In the past, I would have never really put the Gospel and femininity together in the same thought. But without the Gospel, femininity becomes a twisted, self-centered attribute. A modern definition of it is simply “the quality of being female.” True, godly, set-apart femininity stems from one thing - the work of Jesus Christ transforming our lives and breathing life into our dead hearts. I find it is often far too easy to go right into the specifics and how-to’s of being a set-apart girl: how to dress, speak, act, have relationships, spend our time, etc. Those things are absolutely important! But they are to be an outflow of a changed heart that is passionate for the glory of God and the preaching of the Gospel. As we correctly align our hearts with God, our purpose and desire in everything must be to display the Gospel. Just as that one lady said she couldn’t help but tell every

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person about the special drink, so must our purpose be to share the glorious news of the Gospel. As we continually taste and live in the saving grace and life that God has given through His Son, I believe it will automatically become the desire of our heart to tell others about it.

to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear:” This reveals that there must be a reason on the outside for someone to ask about the hope that is within us. Let us continually seek to radiantly display the life – the hope – of Christ within us.

It is incredible to me that we are able to share the Gospel with our lives, not simply our words. Yes, I absolutely encourage you to speak of the Gospel, to proclaim that we have a Savior, and to share your testimony! I was deeply convicted of this as I overheard those ladies so excitedly sharing with others. Practically speaking, we can’t vocally share about Jesus to every person who crosses our path. This is why our outward appearance and life must flow out of our purpose to preach the Gospel.

With the wisdom that comes from God alone and the guidance of the Spirit, every inch of our lives are able to declare the glorious hope of the Gospel. The following are a few specific examples of how our femininity can either draw people to ourselves, or point people to the hope of the gospel within us.

A favorite verse of mine is 1 Peter 3:15 “But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer

The way we dress can vividly show confidence in personal style and fashion, drawing attention to ourselves, or it can be an opportunity to display the beauty of Jesus. We can either use it to openly share our womanly charm, or portray that “ye are dead, and your life is hid with Christ in God.” (Col. 3:3)

IT IS INCREDIBLE TO ME THAT WE ARE ABLE TO SHARE THE GOSPEL WITH OUR LIVES, NOT SIMPLY OUR WORDS.

Our choice of speech, be it word usage or content, can either display acceptance of the world and our own great knowledge, or show forth that true wisdom is the fear of God. It can bring great attention to ourselves, or reveal that we glory in nothing but Jesus. “But God forbid that I should glory, save in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, by whom the world is crucified unto me, and I unto the world.” (Gal. 6:14) How we spend our time reveals our heart’s true desire. It’s easy to see how spending hours in entertainment, fleshly indulgences, and selfish gain clearly cannot display the Gospel. But simply avoiding these things isn’t enough. We display that our life is not our own by boldly going against the culture and using our time

SET APART to serve, love the least, be poured out in prayer, and minister to the needy. “For whosoever will save his life shall lose it; but whosoever shall lose his life for my sake and the Gospel’s, the same shall save it.” (Mk. 8:35) Our countenance can quickly disclose our inward hope, whether it’s founded in ourselves, the world, or our Savior. Our face easily reveals everything from pride to depression, or it can pour forth the fruits of the Spirit and our abundant life in Jesus. “Being filled with the fruits of righteousness, which are by Jesus Christ, unto the glory and praise of God.” (Phil. 1:1) “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, long-suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance.” (Gal. 5:22-23a) So I urge you to ask yourself what your femininity is grounded in. Does it stem from a desire for self-acclaim? Are you

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simply enjoying the quality of being feminine? Or does your femininity flow out of a heart passionate for the furtherance of the Gospel? Allow the Spirit to bring conviction and wisdom. Join me in asking the Lord to purify our femininity and align it with the purposes of the Kingdom of God. May our femininity be one that boldly and unashamedly declares the Gospel, no matter what society tells us or the world thinks. Little did I know that evening in the café would bring such conviction and clarity to godly femininity. It urged me to thoroughly check my heart and actions. But most of all it led me to a deeper love and joy in the saving power of the Gospel - the Gospel that trumps everything, wins in every situation, and is the fountain of healing, joy, peace, and life! How humbling and amazing it is that God would choose us to be vessels that display such a marvelous mystery.

...DOES YOUR FEMININITY FLOW OUT OF A HEART PASSIONATE FOR THE FURTHERANCE OF THE GOSPEL?

TAKE IT DEEPER

the LOST ART of

ORDER HERE!

f TRUE BEAUTY In today’s sex-obsessed society, pop culture’s idea of feminine beauty seems to be all about looking like the hottest models, movie stars, or pop singers, but the end results are often tragic - overwhelming insecurity, eating disorders, and sexual promiscuity. This book presents a whole different vision for feminine loveliness as God intended it to be - the breathtaking radiance of a young woman who has been transformed by Christ from the inside out. This book offers a lot of practical advice about how to: + showcase Christ’s beauty in the way you dress, act, and live + overcome insecurity and see yourself as God sees you + become attractive to the right kind of guy + build your femininity on God’s values instead of the world’s The Lost Art of True Beauty will lead you on a life-changing journey to become a woman of feminine loveliness, inner radiance, and timeless grace!

“The Lost Art of True Beauty is a wonderfully articulated message as Leslie thoroughly addresses the practical side of how to go about dressing and living in a Christ-honoring way. She draws specific examples from her own daily life and gives great advice as to where women can shop for modest clothing options, what to look for, the forever question of swimwear, getting the proper fit, etc...” - Amazon.com review

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Obedience

THE WAY TO DEEPER INTIMACY WITH THE SAVIOR

by ELSJE ZORNES

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If only God would... “If only God would bring a romantic relationship into my life, then I wouldn’t be lonely and purity wouldn’t be such a strain.” “If only I had a decent amount of encouragement, then taking a stand for truth would come easily.” “If only I was a morning person, then getting up early for prayer would be as effortless as finding a grain of sand on the beach.” “If only my husband was a little more genteel, then submitting to him would come naturally.” “If only my bank account looked slightly more promising, then I would freely give to the poor.” “If only my emotions weren’t up-and-down like a playground teeter-totter, then I wouldn’t have any problems not being catty towards others.” “If only I had more time, then I would be more faithful to study the Word.” “If only my parents understood me, then I would joyfully honor them.” We’ve all heard, and uttered, similar statements, most probably more than once. For some reason, we are always looking for ways to excuse and exempt ourselves from obedience to the commands of Scripture.

We are ingenious and cleverly creative in finding a hundred and one reasons why the commands of God do not apply to us and our current situation. If only we could be as committed to obeying the Word as we are to justifying our disobedience! Our flesh would just love to cling to those “if only” lies to soothe our defiance toward what our King is calling us to. God promises all that we need for life and godliness; with no exception. And when the Bible says all that we need, it means... all! Our good and gracious Father does not give us a little sliver of grace for obedience, and then leave us exhausting ourselves in futile attempts to draw strength from the well of self-effort. He gives the full measure of grace needed to victoriously live the Christian life, not just sometimes, not just when our “if only” ideals become reality. Right now, in your current situation and season of life, God has made available to you all that is needed for glad obedience. It is when we are relying on our own strength and power to obey, and not on the power of Christ, that we find ourselves failing and

OUR GOOD AND GRACIOUS FATHER DOES NOT GIVE US A L I T T L E S L I V E R OF GRACE FOR OBEDIENCE, AND THEN LEAVE US EXHAUSTING OURSELVES TO DRAW STRENGTH FROM THE WELL OF SELF-EFFORT.

IN FUTILE ATTEMPTS

WE CANNOT DELAY OUR OBEDIENCE TO CHRIST UNTIL IT F I T S I N T O O U R S C H E D U L E OR IT IS CONVENIENT AND EASY FOR US.

SET APART faltering! It is then, when we are tempted to shift the blame for disobedience onto our circumstances; it is then that we insist that we would obey “if only”. Whatever you might be justifying in your life now, will still be justified even when your circumstances change. If you are not disciplined in your quiet time with the Lord now, even though your schedule is as crowded as Walmart on Black Friday, then you will not be disciplined when “free time” has once again befriended you. If you are not living to honor your husband and the marriage covenant right now, as a single, then that dishonor will be carried into your marriage. If you are not giving out of your little, you will not give out of your plenty. God does not give us commands without also supplying the means to fulfill them. Growing up, one of my favorite answers to my mom’s requests, was “just now.” When she asked me to set the table for dinner, my simple answer usually was, “I’ll do it, just now.” “Just now” was a conveniently ambiguous term which I could use to acknowledge that I heard, and would obey her request...eventually! “Just now” could mean anything from 2 minutes to five hours to never. The undefined and unclear timeline of “just now,” allowed me to obey at my convenience, when I was ready to, not when I was asked to. Most

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of the time my “just now’s,” slowly and subtly unfolded into “not at all’s,” and my mom either had to repeat the command, or administer some form of discipline. In my mind, the postponement of my obedience was just perfectly acceptable, after all, I was going to do what my mom had asked, just on my terms and when I was ready to. That mindset didn’t make it very far down the “narrow way,” after I surrendered my life to the Lord. So many Christians today, have a “just now” attitude towards the commands of the Word of God. They acknowledge its truth and validity, and even go so far as to agree that Scripture is to be unconditionally obeyed. Yet, their lives do not affirm their claimed faith and confidence in the Word. They profess Christ with the lips, but deny Him with their disobedience to His holy commands. We cannot have a “just now” card ready in our pocket in our relationship with the One who saved and rescued us. It was only when I was older, and only a little wiser, that I came to see that sin and selfishness was firmly planted at the driver’s seat of “just now.” My delay in obedience was, in fact, plainly and simply: disobedience. We cannot delay our obedience to Christ until it fits into our schedule or it is convenient and easy for us. We can trust that God uses those moments when bending ourselves before

MOST OF US CRAVE AND YEARN FOR GREATER AND DEEPER INTIMACY WITH OUR SAVIOR, BUT WE NEGLECT THE OBEDIENCE INTIMACY DEMANDS. the Word of God seems to be the hardest thing to do, to conform us more fully to the image of His Son, until we reach the point where we can join the prayer of Jesus; “Not my will, but Thine be done.” Christ’s obedience did not hinge on convenience, and we are called to walk in that same pattern.

Bible says in 1 John 2:3-5 “And hereby we do know that we know him, if we keep his commandments. He that saith, I know him, and keepeth not his commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him. But whoso keepeth his word, in him verily is the love of God perfected: hereby know we that we are in him.”

What would the history of the world, and the fate of our souls have been if Jesus delayed His obedience to the Father’s will? What if Christ allowed His response to the Father’s commands to rest on convenience? What if He had an “if only” mindset, like so many of us do, and waited until He felt like it before laying down his life upon the Cross? Yet, because Jesus was instant in His obedience, a way was made for us to be reconciled and brought near to God. His obedience paved the way to His death, and paves our way to Life.

Scripture makes it clear that is it those who keep His commandments that truly know Him. Those who choose to follow and heed His voice and not delay obedience to His precious commands are the ones who will enjoy sweet intimacy with the King.

Obedience is an avenue to intimacy, and disobedience a hurdle to the same. Most of us crave and yearn for greater and deeper intimacy with our Savior, but we neglect the obedience intimacy demands. The

Martin Luther says it well: “Obedience is the crown and honor of all virtue”. May we all freshly evaluate our response to the Lord’s commands. Is obedience the crown of our relationship with the Lord, or do we simply obey when the feeling strikes? Prayerfully ask the Spirit to open your eyes to any areas of disobedience, and allow Him to build you into a woman who walks in instant, joyful obedience unto the Prince of your heart!

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MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS BY LESLIE LUDY As women, we are acutely interested in the small details of other people’s lives. We can spend hours hearing all the particulars of so and so’s wedding or the birth of so and so’s baby. We can cry tears of joy when we hear about how a guy proposed to his future wife - even if we’ve never met the couple. We want to know all about the colors, clothing, height, weight, and we want to re-live every emotion felt and expressed throughout the entire experience. Men are fine to just hear the basics. “So and so got married yesterday” is about all they really care to be told... READ MORE.

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LOTS OF MIRAGES LOTS OF MIRAGES

very few Marriages

by an anonymous WARRIOR-POET

cannot state it often or plainly enough. Marriage is the clearest sermon of the Gospel which can be preached. Our society has been rather successful at introducing us to strange notions of marriage, then convincing us that these strange notions that they attempt to call marriage are actually normative. It seems that it would be more accurate to say there are a whole lot of mirages out there, and very few marriages. When lost souls are wandering in the desert of self-centeredness, it is easy to mistake the mirage of immediate gratification for the lasting pleasure and glory of the covenant of marriage. Our society is clearly parched in this desert, and thus the moral decay we see is not surprising; divorce, affairs, homosexuality, and all the less-than-savory deviants of marriage are all the natural outflow of selfish desires being gratified in selfish ways. Marriage, which ought to be the clearest portrait of selflessness, has become a chew toy in the jowls of selfishness. In the Christian community, we mourn the woeful state of our society, and seek to advocate for change. However, we must understand that marriage is not to be defended merely for the sake of marriage; we are to defend it for the sake that it is a declaration of the Gospel of Jesus. Too often we shake our heads at how the world is making a mockery of marriage, yet we

allow the same selfishness to send its poisonous roots deep into our souls. Our selfishness is of the much more sanitized variety. We keep a can of Christian Lysol ever handy, so that we can douse our stench of selfishness with a mist of pious spirituality. Here is the reason I bring all this up; as a young Warrior-Poet in the making, I can’t help but see that though the secular culture is perverting what marriage is supposed to be, our selfishness–as harmless as it may seem–is just as deadly to this sacred covenant of marriage. When selfishness is allowed to define our attitudes, decisions, and actions we are setting ourselves up for a mirage, and will not find the oasis found in a selfless, Christ-centered marriage. Marriage is a portrait of Jesus laying down His life for His bride (the church), and the bride joyfully yielding herself to please and exalt her beloved Hero. He won her heart through His very blood being shed, now she lavishes her love upon Him. He provides for her every need, and she lives a life that brings Him honor. She longs to serve Him and please Him in every way, and what she discovers is that He always “out-serves” and “out-blesses” her. She seeks to bless Him, and yet He pours innumerable blessings upon her. As Psalm 68:19a says, “Blessed be the Lord, who daily loadeth us with benefits.”

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OUR SELFISHNESS...IS DEADLY TO THIS SACRED COVENANT OF MARRIAGE.

Is it not, then, a great travesty of truth when our culture says that marriage can be discarded with a simple 90-day legal procedure? Or that people should be allowed to love “whoever they want,” thus same-sex mirages should be legalized? Is marriage simply about a warm-fuzzy love? Is marriage just an opportunity to live with someone whose presence you enjoy? What happens when you are tired of that person, or they no longer meet your needs, or you no longer love them? Was the promise they made a real marriage covenant or was it simply another mirage of self-centeredness? Is it really marriage if it is two men or two women? Hey, why shouldn’t marriage include more than three, like, say, 17? I think our society’s treatment of marriage is indicative of our desire for self-gratification and a sense of importance or belonging. C.S. Lewis, I believe, once said something along the lines of “our earthly love is really a desire to be loved.” Essentially, the current arrangement of things ensures that you can gratify your desire to be loved, without having to love in return. If you want to be loved, get married. And then, if the person you

married demands that you also love them, by accommodating and serving their needs, well then, go get a divorce (after having an affair with some goon promising that he loves you ever so much). Or, why endure the risk of promising undying loyalty to someone by getting married? Why not just enjoy someone for as long as they make you feel good, and then “move on.” Or, why not fight, hammer and tongs, to “redefine marriage” to be whatever

LOVE GIVES THE BEST IT HAS,

EXPECTING NOTHING IN RETURN...

Heaven-born love

SET APART arrangement you want it to be, that way there is no need for you to give up your wants and desires and submit them to God’s commands and ordinances? Why not, hey?!

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a bride; and a bride promising to remain loyal to her beloved ‘til death. Sounds so sweet, simple, and beautiful.

But, what is God’s love like? He loved us even when we were His enemies. Thus, true, heaven-born love is not merely the itch to be loved, it is the ability to love, no matter how the other party responds. It is loving even when financial trouble hits, or arguments arise, or difficulties are faced, or sickness invades, or when your needs are overlooked, and even in the good times! Love gives the best it has, expecting nothing in return; gladdened by the mere prospect of delighting the beloved.

So, why do we humans mess it up so badly? I think it is because we have a low view of God’s purpose for our lives. Everything, in all creation (marriage, after all, was created by God), was created by Him, and for Him. Meaning, marriage is to awaken within us a greater understanding of who God is. Every grain of sand, every blade of grass, every creature, every human, and every marriage is intended by God to be signposts unto His glory, nature, and goodness. When we treat marriage flippantly, we are, in actuality treating God flippantly.

So, the world is a wreck when it comes to showcasing God’s nature, Gospel, and love in and through marriage. It can only ape love, and cannot seem to manufacture the genuine article. It is a mirage indeed! However, many Christians are no better when it comes to understanding and living in such a way to demonstrate the Gospel in and through marriage. The Bible says, “Marriage is honourable in all [meaning, everyone must hold marriage in honor], and the bed undefiled.” (Heb. 13:4a) So, why does marriage need to be honored by all? Because marriage is a Gospel-sermon: a Bridegroom promising, covenanting, and vowing to never forsake

So, here is where your toes might feel a throbbing sensation as the boot of truth stomps on them. We despise this world’s perversion of marriage, but do we despise our compromises of marriage? I mean, we spend long hours alone at a coffee shop with the cute guy or gal from youth group. We talk teasingly and flirtatiously with every attractive member of the opposite sex. We do all manner of things, that, if a married person was doing that with someone other than their spouse we’d be concerned that they were dangerously close to compromising or violating their marriage covenant. Our modern Christian singles culture teaches us to disregard

...TREAT MARRIAGE WITH THE SACREDNESS THAT YOU DESIRE... ONCE YOU ARE MARRIED the sacredness of marriage, and “sample the fare” of the eligible singles around us. Everything you do outside of marriage is setting precedent for what behavior you believe is acceptable outside of marriage. If it isn’t wise for a married man to hang out alone at a coffee shop, sharing his heart, making eyes at a woman who is not his wife, why would it be ok for an unmarried man to do the same. Here is the encouragement: begin to treat marriage with the sacredness that you desire to treat it with once you are married. While guys and girls can have wholesome and God-honoring friendships outside of marriage, they must recognize that they are not in a marriage. We may not be trying to “redefine marriage” like the secular liberals are, but are we trying to blur the lines of what is ok to enjoy outside of marriage? Rather than seeking to win the love and affirmation of some strapping gentleman, why not begin to give your undivided love to God, and allow Him to teach you to live to love your future spouse selflessly. When you vow to be faithful to your future spouse alone, you will not be making good on that promise if you desire to still flirt, dress sensually, and “go out”

with other guys! Selfishness is the itch to gratify self. Selflessness is the desire to bless another with your self. My desire is to live in such a way that before marriage and during marriage, I live with singular loyalty unto one woman. I want to be a one-woman man, all the days of my life. If I wouldn’t do it in marriage, why would I do it before marriage. If it is unacceptable outside of marriage while married, then, if you are single, it is unacceptable outside of marriage. The world can chase after all their mirages, but they will never find the oasis of marriage. May the saints of God rise up, and endeavor, by the power of His life within to showcase the glory of Christ and the Church. Christ is united unto ONE bride. The Church is loyal unto ONE King. May we, whether single or married, also be loyal unto ONE spouse; not blurring the lines for the sake of self-indulgence. Rather, may we realize that our lives and marriages are one glorious opportunity to make Christ known in all the earth. In doing this, we will taste the cool water of purity, and no more be dissatisfied by the mirage of self-defined and self-gratifying indulgence.

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Sacredness of Marriage

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LIVING | SET APART when your family doesn’t

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by LESLIE LUDY

The others in the room were completely oblivious to our discomfort, laughing at all the witty one-liners, and assuming that we were enjoying the movie as much as they were.

I will never forget the moment when, as a young married couple, Eric and I were faced with an extremely socially awkward situation. It was Christmas break and we were staying with some relatives that we hadn’t seen in a few years. One evening as we sat in their living room chatting and catching up, someone suggested that we all have popcorn and watch their favorite funny movie. It sounded like a fun and harmless activity, and we wanted to honor our hosts by showing an interest in the things that they enjoyed doing, so we agreed. But as soon as the opening scene began, Eric and I knew it wasn’t the kind of movie we should be watching. It was offensive, sexually perverse, disrespectful, vile, crude, and dishonorable. Within the first five minutes, we were totally uncomfortable, steeling sideways glances at each other and silently trying to figure out what we should do.

Eric and I knew that to suddenly get up and walk out of the room (or ask them to turn the movie off) would be extremely dishonoring to our hosts, not to mention create relational tension for the rest of our visit with them. On the other hand, to stay and subject ourselves to an hour and a half of slime and perversion would be dishonoring to God. And yet, we just couldn’t seem to bring ourselves to take the uncomfortable step of getting up and walking out of that living room. Offending our relatives seemed too unbearable. So we stayed put, looking down at the carpet, up at the ceiling, avoiding the television screen as much as possible, trying to focus on anything other than the filth in front of us. We each took several lengthy “bathroom breaks” hoping that the movie would continue on without us while we were gone, but unfortunately, our hosts decided to press pause each time, so that we wouldn’t miss anything. When the closing credits finally started rolling and they expectantly asked us, “So what’d you think?!” all we could do was chuckle awkwardly and reply, “Uh, well, that movie was, um, quite something!”

SET APART Later that night, we sat in the guest bedroom, feeling slimed, guilty, and miserable. Why hadn’t we taken a stronger stand? Why hadn’t we been willing to risk family relationships for the sake of God’s glory and the protection of our own consciences? After prayer and reflection, we realized that it really all came down to fear. Fear of what they would think of us if we lived out our convictions in front of them. Fear that we would come across as harsh, legalistic, and judgmental if we said “no” to something everybody else felt comfortable doing. Fear that our relationships with certain family members would be forever marred by our “unreasonable” Christian standards. We had placed our “fear of man” above our fear of God. Proverbs 29:25 says, “The fear of man brings a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord shall be safe.”

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We had allowed the fear of man to bring a snare into our souls. Instead of trusting that God would protect our family relationships as we honored Him, we had assumed that the only way to preserve our relationships with our non-Christian relatives was to compromise. We had approached the entire situation with an attitude of fear, instead of faith, and as a result we missed a valuable opportunity to demonstrate God’s nature to these family members, and to protect the purity of our hearts and minds in the process.

+++ One of the most common questions I hear from young women is, “How can I live a set-apart, Christ-focused life when my family doesn’t share the same standards that I have?” If you live with family members (or roommates) who don’t understand your Christian convictions, it can be tempting to believe that you must look for subtle ways

WHY HADN’T WE BEEN WILLING TO RISK FAMILY RELATIONSHIPS FOR THE SAKE OF GOD’S GLORY AND THE PROTECTION OF OUR OWN CONSCIENCES?

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THE MOST IMPORTANT PRINCIPLE FOR LIVING SET-APART WHEN YOUR FAMILY DOESN’T IS PUTTING YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH CHRIST FIRST - ALWAYS.

to compromise your standards or conceal your true beliefs when it comes to certain issues and activities. We have grown up in a culture that promotes “peace at all costs,” especially when it comes to family relationships. But our desire for keeping peace can often lead to compromise. It’s true that God tells us we should live at peace with others, as far as it depends upon us. (See Romans 12:18.) But we should never dishonor our relationship with God in an attempt to preserve peace in our earthly relationships. Our commitment to Him must take priority over every other relationship in our lives. When we deliberately choose to live according to the standards of Jesus Christ among non -believing (or mediocre Christian) family

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members, relational tension may come. But this shouldn’t be a shock to us. Christ plainly said, “For I have come to set a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-inlaw; and a man’s enemies will be those of his own household. He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me.” (Matt. 10:35-37) The most important principle for living set-apart when your family doesn’t is putting your relationship with Christ first - always. Make a commitment before God that you will not compromise your

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SET APART standards or trifle with sin in order to “keep the peace” among your family members. There are many appropriate and godly ways to show love, honor, and respect to your family, but dishonoring Christ through subtle sin and compromise is not one of them! (This is something that Eric and I had to learn the hard way when it came to watching that profane movie with our relatives.) When we try to pacify family conflicts by dishonoring the name of Jesus, we accomplish nothing but to impede our own soul and hinder our intimacy with Christ. Not to mention that when we compromise, we can’t truly point our family members to Jesus Christ. Our participation in their ungodly activities only helps justify the ungodly choices they are making, instead of bringing them to a place of conviction and grief over their sin. Yes, it is true that taking an unwavering stand for Truth and refusing to compromise might cause us to receive criticism or even anger from non-believing family members. But God’s Word reminds us, “If you are reproached for the name of Christ, blessed are you, for the Spirit of glory and of God rests upon you. On their part He is blasphemed, but on your part He is glorified.” (1 Pet. 4:14)

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So go ahead – stand up and walk out (as graciously as possible!) if your family turns on a profane movie or perverse television show. Quietly withdraw from the conversation if they blaspheme the name of Jesus Christ. Put headphones on if they blast offensive music. Refuse to laugh if they tell ungodly jokes. Change the subject if they attempt to draw you into gossip. Steadfastly refuse to engage in discussions that promote sensuality or worldly mentalities towards dating. Show by your life and example that you are unashamed of the Gospel of Christ. They may not appreciate it, but God will honor you as you choose to honor Him. (See 1 Sam. 2:30.) And your uncompromising stand for Truth among your family may be the very tool that God uses to eventually draw their hearts to Him.

+++ Of course, the attitude in which you take a stand for Truth among your family members is extremely important. Many of us make the mistake of speaking or acting upon the Truth of Jesus Christ in a very un-Christ-like way. But falling into this trap completely destroys your witness and only gives your non-believing family members more reasons to disregard the Gospel. So ask God for the grace not merely to take

a strong stand for Truth, but to do so with genuine humility and gentleness.

in conjunction with the words of Proverbs 15:1, “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”

Resist the temptation to get upset and storm out of the room when your family is behaving in an ungodly way. Instead, ask God to show you how to be gracious and discreet when you need to withdraw from a certain activity. Your quiet non-participation will usually make quite enough of a statement to them, without needing to pile on additional lecturing, anger, or criticism in order to accentuate your point. In fact, that approach will only bring unnecessary conflict to the situation.

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If you become the brunt of accusation and irritation for your stand for Truth, make sure it is truly for the right reasons and not merely because of a bad attitude on your part! When considering how to communicate your convictions with your family, remember the words of James 1:20, “… the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God.”

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Remember, it is not ultimately your words or actions that can change your family’s heart, but the Spirit of God. So don’t underestimate the power of prayer! We often struggle to have faith that our family members can ever change. But even the people in our lives that seem like the toughest “nuts to crack” are not above the power of prayer. When you consistently live out uncompromising Truth with loving gentleness, humility, and respect, combined with fervent, faith-filled prayers on their behalf, you will set the stage for God to do a mighty work of grace within your family! For with God, nothing is impossible. (See Luke 1:37.) Yes, it may be a difficult and long journey, but the eternal rewards are well worth the temporary sacrifice.

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YES, IT MAY BE A DIFFICULT AND LONG JOURNEY, BUT THE ETERNAL REWARDS ARE WELL WORTH THE TEMPORARY SACRIFICE.

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LIFE + DECISION MAKING

Applying Wisdom to the Course of Life A TEAM ARTICLE I n t ro b y HEAT HE R C OF E R

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“...HE W ILL

LEA D US IN

THE WAY W E

SHOU LD G O.”

OUR LIVES ARE FULL OF DECISIONS. Some are big, some are small. We begin making decisions from the moment we open our eyes in the morning: what am I going to wear? What am I going to eat for breakfast? Should I do my grocery shopping this morning or this afternoon? Other decisions are much more weighty than that, and have a great significance, sometimes even changing the direction of our lives. Where do we turn when those decisions come? The Word of God doesn’t have specific examples for every circumstance we may find ourselves in having to making a life-changing decision. Yet, it is incredibly clear that as we abide in Him and choose to align ourselves with His truth, He will lead us in the way we should go. Proverbs 3:5-6 says, “Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not on thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.” How that looks practically can look different for each individual or circumstance. Here are some ways we on the Set Apart Girl® team approach those decisions as we are seeking the Lord and desiring that His glory be brought to bear in and through our lives.

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ELSJE SAYS: Through many wrong decisions, and the consequent regret and heartache, I’ve come to realize that the best way to know God’s will, is to know God first. It is not so much seeking to know His will as it is seeking to know Him, that will give us the wisdom we need for every decision before us. Scripture says that “ all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge” are hid in Christ (Col 2: 3). All the wisdom and knowledge you need to make wise and God-honoring decisions, is found in the person of Jesus Christ. Don’t just seek God’s will and wisdom when you are faced with a difficult decision, build your life around becoming intimately acquainted with His heart. Then, when faced with tough decisions to make, you will have all you need in those moments. We often neglect the command of Scripture to “be anxious for nothing, but in everything, by prayer...”(Phil 4:6). God makes it clear that everything we do, every decision we make needs to be soaked in prayer. I’ve all too often used prayer to try and remedy a wrong decision, instead of turning to prayer in the first place. Prayer should be our steering wheel, not our spare tire, as Corrie ten Boom stated! Let’s us not forfeit the joy of good and wise decisions, simply because we do not carry everything to God in prayer.

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“...T HE B ES T WAY TO KN OW G O D ’S WILL IS TO KN OW G OD F I R S T.”

HEATHER SAYS:

“U LTI M ATE LY, NO MATTE R WHOSE A DVICE W E SEEK , IT IS O F A BSO LUTE IM PORTA NCE T HAT WE TE S T IT AG A INS T THE WO RD OF G O D. . . .”

Proverbs 12:15 says, “The way of a fool is right in his own eyes: but he that hearkeneth unto counsel is wise.” One of the things that greatly helps me in making decisions is seeking the advice of others, especially older, godly men and women. Because of their spiritual maturity and years of practical life experience, they are often able to pick up different aspects of a situation that those who are walking through it might overlook. There is nothing necessarily wrong about seeking the advice and counsel of peers if they have shown themselves to be spiritually mature and sensitive to the Lord. The Bible gives an example in 1 Kings 12 of King Rehaboam, King Solomon’s son, who forsook the counsel of the old men and chose instead to listen to the young men, his peers. What was the result? Instead of the Israelites submitting graciously to him as their king, they rebelled against him and he fled for his life. We who are younger in years tend to me more heedless and impulsive than those who have lived longer. If the counsel of our peers is opposed to that of those who are older and wiser, we need to be very cautious about heeding it. Ultimately, no matter whose advice we seek, it is of absolute importance that we test it against the Word of God to be sure that it is wisdom that comes from Him. Proverbs 19:21 says, “There are many devices in a man’s heart; nevertheless the counsel of the LORD, that shall stand.”

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MANDY SAYS: My heart had been prayerful, the counsel I sought was wise, and the leading of the Lord had been certain. What now then, when the path before me took an unforeseen turn? As that cold February night came to a close, I sat on my bed in the haze of wonderment. My Dad, though a man of few words, was armed with timely wisdom to faithfully guided my heart. Tenderly and firmly, he said, “Mandy, if you’re going to walk by faith, you have to walk - by - faith.” It was a simple truth that I knew by heart but had lost sight of in the moment. The way before me was no longer clearly defined as it had been hours before, but the command to continue on walking in surrender, trust, and confidence in God remained the same.

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“ F ULLY SU RRE ND E R T H E DECIS IO N A ND YO UR LIFE INTO HIS HA ND S A NEW. . . A ND C O NFI D E NTLY WA IT F O R G O D TO GUI D E YO U WI TH H IS UN FA ILING FATH E RLY HA ND ! ”

Through the changes, challenges, and decisions that each season of life brings, God’s truth remains steadfast and sure. It doesn’t matter what we are going through, obedience and faithfulness to God’s Word is the requirement. What comfort and strength is readily available for our souls if we simply take God’s Word to heart! Through many different seasons, one of the greatest encouragements to my heart has been meditating upon the words from Psalm 84:11, “For the Lord God is a sun and shield: the Lord will give grace and glory: no good thing will He withhold from them that walk uprightly.” Remembering that God only gives what is best to His children is an amazing promise. When He gives a gift or allows a circumstance in my life, I can fully trust that from His heavenly perspective, this is a “good thing”. (See Ps. 34.8-10.) When He withholds something from my life, it is never to harm me, but only to withhold that which is not His best. Forfeiting my own way of faithless walking is no sacrifice, but only brings me to discover the riches of walking this road of faith! Next time you are faced with making a decision, I encourage you to refocus your lens of faith. Fully surrender the decision and your life into His hands anew, refresh your trust by meditating upon His priceless promises, and confidently wait for God to guide you with His unfailing, Fatherly hand!

+ © 2013 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. This magazine contains material protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No part of this magazine may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without express written permission from Leslie Ludy and Set Apart Girl®.

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“ ...N O G OOD T HI N G WILL H E W I T HH OLD F R O M T H EM T HAT WA LK U P R I G HTLY.”

LESSONS FROM T H E M I S S I O N F IELD: LA Y I N G DO W N E XPEC T A T IO N S b y GERD A A A R TS M A My soul, wait silently for God alone, for my expectation is from Him. | Psalm 62:5

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A NOTE FROM LESLIE: Our Set Apart Girl® team has been so

blessed and encouraged by the testimony and examples of some of our dear friends who are living out the ‘set apart life’ on the mission field. In this series, we’ve asked them to share some of the lessons that God has been teaching them during their time as missionaries, and we will be featuring their inspiring stories in the upcoming months. This month’s article is from Gerda Aartsma, who so beautifully epitomizes the self-deflecting, sacrificial love of Jesus Christ! Read more about Gerda in this previous Sister of the Common Life interview, p. 76 in the issue HERE.

For two days we had been struggling with the power at the orphanage where my friend Annie and I currently live in Haiti. The property’s power supply comes from the city power, which is very unpredictable, and when that’s not working, the generator power is supposed to take over. Eventually, we were able to get in touch with the electrician in the states who had set up the power system, and after we had a lengthy Skype session, he came to the conclusion that a module needed to be replaced. While tinkering with wires and fuses, Annie and I had shared with him that we’d been in Haiti for almost two years, to which he quickly responded, “That practically qualifies you to be electrical technicians.” I had never expected to learn electrical engineer skills during my missionary life, but there we were, two girls in the back shed generator room getting the power back on. And with a new module on its way, the electrician assured us we were qualified to install it when it arrived. We’d only need to make sure that we connected the wires correctly. That’s not too hard, right? The Lord did prepare me in many ways for the unpredictability of life here in Haiti. I was privileged to grow up in the beautiful country of South Africa and, although things are a bit different there, I experienced many third-world country situations, such as power problems, as just a part of normal life. Living in any third-world country definitely has its challenges, but the joy of serving Jesus by caring for orphans here in Haiti makes all those life-challenges worth it.

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One of the most significant lessons God is teaching me during my time here is the need to hold my expectations loosely. In life we tend to plan, schedule, and organize our days to maximize our time. This is not wrong in itself, for the Bible says that we are to make the most of our time, for the days are evil. (See Eph. 5:16.) That is challenging enough by itself with all the many distractions in life. But God has been using the unique challenges of Haiti to bring me to an even greater understanding of my need to surrender my plans and put my expectation fully in Him. God’s Truth is the same for me here in Haiti or if I’m in the US or back home in South Africa. Jesus doesn’t change and He truly is the rock beneath our feet and the helper by our side. His desire is the same for each of us, to use our situations in life to bring us to know Him more. ‘…that they may know You, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom You have sent.’ (Jn. 17:3)

His desire is the same for each of us, to use our situations in life to bring us to know Him more.,

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I used to throw my laundry in the washing machine and then use the next hour to do something else, but here in Haiti, I must do my laundry in a bucket by hand. My hands represent the washing machine, so the task fully requires my time. I’ve learned so much about this watching the sweet Haitian lady that does laundry for the orphanage. Every morning she greets her mountain of laundry from the twenty or so children, and with hands lifted to heaven, says: “Thank you, Jesus! Thank you, Papa!” She offers her hands unto Jesus, and her work become a sacrifice of praise unto Him. All of us could love washing laundry by hand if we could see it as spending that time with Jesus. And no time is wasted when it is spent with Him! This is one simple, daily example, but the Lord has been taking this lesson even deeper in my life too. What about the future? How long will I remain in my current missionary position? And once it’s done, where will I go? And are all these things surrendered to His perfect will and purposes? I had a timeframe in my mind about my missionary time here, and soon found myself thinking, In about three month’s time, when such and such happens, I will be able to do this or that. I didn’t realize how subtly I was placing my expectation on things that would be accomplished in the future. Three months came and went, and the things I was expecting to fall into place didn’t happen. Although I was still content with what the Lord had in store for me, my eyes were opened to the danger of placing my hope and my expectations on things outside of Jesus.

The definition of hope is: a sure expectation and to have faith. The only truly safe place to have my hope and expectation placed in is the unfathomable riches of the person of Jesus Christ. This caused quite the shift in my mindâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s thinking and faith. What joy to have Jesus as my expectation in every circumstance I face in Haiti! This brings peace and rest in abundance, knowing that He will bring about His plans, and however long He calls me to be here, He is revealing more of Himself to me through every day of serving Him here in this place. If your eyes are fixed on Jesus, then He is your expectation, rather than the outcome of a situation or your own desires and plans. Sometimes the Lord purposefully slows our lives down so that we will come to know Him. And what a gift that is! Look at the disciples whom the Lord had sent out to cross the lake in Matthew 14:22-34. He knew they would be heading right into a storm, and still He sent them. He knew they were only expecting to cross the lake, but He had greater plans in revealing more of Himself to them through a storm. It was a great lesson of faith that He wanted to teach His disciples. I am learning the same lesson this year, that although I had expectations of what I might be doing in Haiti by working at an orphanage, He had greater plans in store. Braving the storm for these little children has taught me so much about the Lord, and He has strengthened my faith in Him through every challenge, delay, or change in my plans.

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What an almighty God we serve, whose ways are much higher than ours, and whose thoughts are much greater than ours! (See Isa. 55:8-9.)

If your eyes are fixed on Jesus, then He is your expectation, rather than the outcome of a situation or your own desires and plans.

SET APART

lifestyle

“My faith is to rest not in the outcome I think God should work out for me, MY FAITH RESTS IN WHO GOD IS...

the quietness of my heart is the fruit of an absolute confidence in God.”

| Elisabeth Elliot

CommonLife SISTER of the

MEET BROOKE Brooke Porter | AGE 19 HEROES OF THE FAITH: OSWALD CHAMBERS AND MY FRIEND, SHALEA NELLIS

FAVORITE QUOTE: “Come what may, my heart will follow. Come what may, my song You’ll be. I will cling to the cross where my dear Savior died, and trust in His wonderful Name... Come what may.” ~ Unknown

Brooke, When did you come to Christ and choose to live fully set apart for Him? To live fully set apart for Christ was something I highly esteemed starting at the age of 12, but it wasn’t until years later that I would recognize my complete inability to live set apart for my Beloved. As a result of my self-enthroned devotion to my God, I would launch into a desperate search for the secret substance of true Christianity. Though I accepted Jesus Christ as my Savior at the age of 6, I did not surrender my life to Him and accept Him as my Lord until I was 16. By the time I arrived at my junior year in highschool I was completely and utterly fed up with the typical, mediocre Christianity I saw in myself and in the church around me. I was in a constant state of yearning for something more, something worth living for, and the desire for deeper meaning and purpose was eating away at me. Depression gripped me. No matter how hard I tried I couldn’t seem to clasp on to the Christianity I read about in Scripture. By God’s intervention and faithfulness alone I eased out of my depression, and was infused with strength to continue seeking my God. The solution I had given my soul was: either my life would give God glory, or I didn’t want to wake up in the morning.

Soon after this resolution I came across one of Leslie Ludy’s books. Her writing painted the vibrant picture of set apart femininity and I soaked it in like a sponge. I arrived at Ellerslie in the Fall of 2012 in great excitement and expectation for Jesus to receive the reward of His suffering. Days after arriving we listened to a sermon that forever altered my life. I found the secret I had been searching for. I exchanged my life for the LIFE of Christ, and found such a deep joy and peace in doing so!

I was completely and utterly fed up with the typical, mediocre Christianity I saw in myself and in the church around me...

Q: What have been some of the greatest

challenges and joys of being a set apart woman in this world?

God reveals in His Word the challenges we will face if we choose to follow in our Savior’s footsteps, and walk in the light as He is in the light. I face those same challenges that are so clearly marked in Scripture. Two of the most common challenges I face are: Being misunderstood, and the temptation to think that I am all alone. Both of these trials are met with victory given by God’s grace, and a strong declaration to my soul of the Truth. We can rejoice in knowing that we are misunderstood like our Savior was misunderstood, and eind deep peace in having the heart knowledge that we are always in the shadow of the Almighty.

Even in the challenges of living set apart for Christ there is an unspeakable, abundant joy that only our Beloved can give! One of the greatest joys of being a set apart woman is having a God given, Christ centered, pure love for others. This is a love that is fearless when it comes to hurt, restrained by the Holy Spirit, and unconditional. It is the love of a disciple of Jesus, and it showcases the gospel. Another joy is a recognized and lived-out dependency on Jesus Christ. This dependency deepens with time as more of our Messiah is revealed to us, showing how wretched we are without Him. Accompanying this dependence comes growing trust, building up of faith, and an ever expanding prayer life. The ultimate joy of being a set apart woman in this world is knowing Jesus and making Him known!

Can you share some practical ways that you guard and cultivate your intimate relationship with the Lord throughout everyday life? The number one thing that has become habit for me is practicing the very real, constant presence of my King. One practical way that I do

this is by picturing Him with me whenever I am with another person, asking Him questions throughout my day over everything, and soaking in the Word of God. If I am thinking about the truths I am learning in Scripture throughout my day, my mind naturally dives into pondering about and talking to Truth impersonated. I avoid things that I wouldn’t want to do, watch, read, or listen to with my Savior right next to me. In reality my Savior is not just next to me, but also INSIDE of me by His Holy Spirit...He sees and hears all that I do. Removing from my life what I wouldn’t want Him to see or hear is merely an act of loving obedience to my God. As a result of cutting off these books, movies, music etc...I have received such an explosion of growth with my Savior that I never look back at the things I got rid of with desire or longing, but see them as dung compared to knowing Christ. A way I guard my relationship with the Lord throughout everyday life is by seeking Christ’s face first thing when I wake up in the morning, going before Him in prayer...dying to myself, and surrendering afresh. I end the day by meditating on all that He has done and taught me, thanking Him, and placing piles of stones in my memory so that I won’t forget His faithfulness and loving discipline.

You just went through a whole year at Ellerslie (Basic & Advanced). What were some of your highlights of that year? I could write a book on all of the highlights that are sacred memorial stones in my memory of what God has done throughout this last year! A handful of those chunks of gold would be: Greeting His Little Feet kiddos at the airport, singing worship songs with everyone in

the chapel on Halloween, and taking pictures with my class for my advanced graduation. Each one of these memories are highlighted for me, because in each circumstance God was magnieied, glorieied, and exalted. Getting baptized on November 4th 2012 in the Ellerslie lake is very much a highlight, and a practical step I took in declaring all that God had worked and continues to work in me... proclaiming to all that it is no longer I who live but Christ who lives in me! Ellerslie has helped prepare me for an eternity of serving, loving, and worshiping my God well.

Removing from my life what I wouldn’t want Him to see or hear is merely an act of loving obedience to my God.

Can you tell us about where the Lord has led you for this next season of your life and how/what He is teaching you now? Home is my present domicile. I do not know what God has in store for the present season of my life, but I find it very exciting to have this opportunity to trust Him ever more implicitly. This time of growth, discipline, and learning is one that thus far has been deeply rooted in small every day details of living. The Lord has kept me busy accomplishing His work, but not so busy that I don’t have the time to sit at His feet. Something He has been teaching me is simply to be still, and abide in His presence. Truly my heart belongs to my God: truly my life also. My very soul & being is obsessed with Him, and after tasting everlasting Life... death and despair are the result of turning back to a life that is no life at all. Helping with my church’s junior high youth group, worship team, and 1st grade Sunday school class have all been placed in my lap since coming home. Each of these responsibilities are such a blessing, and there is such a peace in knowing that I am right in the center of where God wants me to be. Prayer is my 24/7 preoccupation. I have been much ‘busier’ in wrestling prayer than in natural jobs. Even when it looks impractical to spend more time in prayer than in ‘getting things done’...it is the very source of sufeiciency and my very source of joy.

This time of growth, discipline, and learning is one that thus far has been deeply rooted in small every day details of living.

A FEW OF HER FAVORITE THINGS: Prayer, 2 Timothy, thick leather journals, courage, truth, vanilla candles, singing, chai lattes, majestic sunsets, the ocean, The Scottish Chiefs book

O D D KI

T O SPTE STUFF

CU UDY KIDS ARE THE L

OIN D & G SAYIN

KIP, age 5

Lately he’s been dressing up in a tri-cornered hat, snow boots and plastic sword, marching around the house with a somber expression and then asking everyone, “Do I look like a guy from ‘way back then?’” To Kip, pretty much any timeperiod in history is officially called “Way Back Then!”

HUDSON, age 9 He started piano lessons! I am actually quite surprised at how excited he is to practice everyday and how motivated he is to learn how to play. He very diligently works on a couple of simple songs over and over again. Since our piano is right in the middle of the house, hearing him pound away at the notes is giving me a whole new respect for my parents, realizing the kind of noise they had to listen to when I practiced the piano all those years growing up!

AVY, age 4

As the kids were heading to the bathroom to take turns brushing their teeth, they discovered, to their great distress, that the bathroom door would not open. Someone had accidentally turned the handle lock sideways and then shut the door from the outside. As I searched around the house for one of those little “door handle” keys, the kids were worriedly discussing what would happen if they could never get the bathroom door open again and thusly, never be able to access their toothbrushes and brush their teeth. I overheard four-year-old Avonlea tell everyone, “I’m really scared!” Harper asked, “Scared of what?” And Avonlea replied very seriously, “I’m really scared that we’re all gonna get cavities!”

Harper, age 6

During the first real snow storm of the season, the kids were looking out the window and really hoping for enough snow to build a snowman. Harper informed all of us very excitedly, “I really hope this snow storm turns into a blister!!” (Translation: blizzard!)

listen + read TEAM RECOMMENDATIONS

AnnieRecommends:

Knowing Jesus by Major Ian Thomas

Have you yet become familiar with Major Ian Thomas? This man has a way of articulating the indwelling life of Christ unlike any I’ve heard, and every time I listen to his sermons, I find myself in wonder-filled worship for God’s plan to fill lowly man with glorious Christ! Jesus is the only one capable of living the Christian life and the Major shares a powerful and exciting sermon on not just becoming a Christian, but being a Christian - and the vital pursuit of knowing Him who makes our Christian life even possible!

CLICK HERE

MandyRecommends:

Peaceful Heart by Elisabeth Elliot Since I fully gave my life to Jesus, Elisabeth Elliot has been one of the most influential women in my walk of faith. Through her ministry of books and audio teachings, she has continually pointed me down the narrow way towards Christ. In this teaching, she candidly imparts to vital and beautiful truths of continual surrender and acceptance of God’s will. In order to have a “peaceful heart”, we must abide in the place of unconditional “YES” to God. However, in order for this “YES” to reverberate in our souls, we must first say “NO” to ourselves. This is a message that has strengthened and encouraged my heart as I daily take up my cross and follow Christ!

CLICK HERE © 2013 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. This magazine contains material protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No part of this magazine may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without express written permission from Leslie Ludy and Set Apart Girl®.

â&#x20AC;&#x153;As the sun is FULL of light, as the ocean is FULL of water, as Heaven is FULL of glory...

...so let my heart be FULL of Thee.

| Valley of Vision

REGARDING RELATIONSHIPS:

CARRY ON WELL IN WHAT GOD HAS CALLED YOU TO DO, RATHER THAN PINING OR WAITING FOR LOVE. SET CHARACTER AS YOUR PRIORITY. - Elisabeth Elliot

IN THE NEXT ISSUE: SET APART WOMEN IN HISTORY, The story of Esther Ahn Kim SINGLE WOMEN AND MINISTRY, Exploring God’s Perspective SHARING THE GOSPEL IN EVERYDAY LIFE, Hear from the Set Apart Girl® team KEEPING YOUR MARRIAGE STRONG AFTER KIDS, Leslie shares her perspective