2014 MAY | JUN Set Apart Girl Issue by Ellerslie

setapartgirl LESLIE LUDY’S

MAGAZINE

REACHING YOUNG WOMEN

FOR CHRIST

GIVING THEM VISION FOR MORE, p.8

THE TRUTH

aboutFlirting p.50

RESPONDING TO THE IMMODEST PRESSURE p.28

BATTLING BLAH-NESS,

p.80

HOW TO

IDEAS & HELP

ELLASister MEET

FOR HOSTING YOUR OWN GIRLS’ SIMULCAST EVENT, p.86

OF THE COMMON LIFE p.92

MAY/JUN 2014

FOUNDER’S letter

Among the most popular messages of our society today is the

proclamation, “Follow your heart!” The culture has conditioned us to place a very high value on our own desires and emotions. In fact, we are encouraged to base both our major life decisions and our daily lifestyle choices upon how we feel. “Don’t know what to do? Just listen to your heart! Do what feels right to you!” This advice permeates everything from love songs to children’s movies. But God gives us completely different directions when it comes to our heart and emotions:

“He who trusts in his own heart is a fool” (Prov.

28:26a) and “The heart is deceitful above all things" (Jer 17:9a). When we allow our emotions to lead us, we become subservient to our feelings instead of to God’s Spirit and His Word. “Following our heart” cultivates an attitude of selfishness rather than one of surrender.

I am especially excited about this magazine issue,

because it points us back to the rock-solid foundation of God’s Word in so many practical areas of life - like clothing choices, guy/girl

interaction,

heart attitudes, and spiritual discipline.

Instead of asking “how do I feel about this area?” we should be asking, “what does God say about this area?” And that is what each one of these powerful articles helps us do! I pray that the truth contained in these pages will inspire and equip you to build each area of your daily life upon His unchanging, timeless Word!

- Leslie

© 2014 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. This magazine contains material protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No part of this magazine may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without express written permission from Leslie Ludy and Set Apart Girl®.

setapartgirl CONFERENCE

the 2014 ANNUAL

with bestselling author LESLIE LUDY & other guest speakers

JUNE 6-8, 2014 JOIN US in Windsor, Colorado (HURRY, SPACE IS LIMITED!)

or by LIVE simulcast

(WATCH THE STREAM ANYTIME UNTIL JUNE 29!)

Away Come WITH JESUS

A life transforming weekend that will draw you closer to Him.

IN THIS issue

8 SET APART FEMININITY

SET APART RELATIONSHIPS

50 l The Truth About Flirting

Explore God’s Sacred Intent for Your Life l Reaching Young Women for Christ Giving them Vision for Something More

18 l Set-Apart Women in History Catherine Booth The Power of Relentless Spiritual Passion

SET APART LIFESTYLE

Applying the Gospel to Everday Life 28 l Responding to the Immodest Pressure A Set-Apart Girl Team Article

Honoring God in Love and Romance A Set-Apart Girl Team Article

60 l Purely and Simply a Sister A Warriort-Poet Shares

SET APART FAMILY

Discovering God’s Heart for Home and Family 68 l The Beauty of Christ-centered Mothering An Excerpt from Leslie’s New Book!

50 80

68 92

SET APART WALK

Cultivate Your Daily Romance with Christ

ineveryissue

80 l Battling Blah-ness

setapartgirl playlist

Devotionals

Sister of the Common Life

102

Leslie’s Kiddo Spot

106

Recommendations

Exchanging a Dull Disposition for the Joy of the Lord

86 l Host Your Own Simulcast Event A Testimony and Encouragement for You!

Unless otherwise noted, all Scripture is taken from the New King James Version. © 2014 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. This magazine contains material protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No part of this magazine may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without express written permission from Leslie Ludy and Set Apart Girl®.

setapartgirl

PLAYLIST

LESLIE’S PICK: BEFORE THE THRONE by Shane and Shane - this is a beautiful, powerful song that points my gaze to Christ and ushers me into His presence - it reminds me of the astounding privilege I have to come before His throne each day!

ANNIE’S PICK:

I AM NOT ALONE by Kari Jobe MANDY’S PICK: PSALM 62 by Aaron Keyes GRACE’S PICK:

ALL THAT I AM by Rend Collective LAUREN’S PICK:

TO OBEY IS BETTER THAN SACRIFICE by Keith Green HEATHER’S PICK:

LORD, I NEED YOU by Matt Maher ELSJE’S PICK:

NONE BUT JESUS by Hillsong © 2014 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. This magazine contains material protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No part of this magazine may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without express written permission from Leslie Ludy and Set Apart Girl®.

All of these songs can be found on iTunes!

ABOUT THE

founder

LESLIE LUDY is a bestselling author and speaker with a passion for reaching her generation with the hope of Christ. She and her husband Eric have been writing and speaking together for the past eighteen years. Widely known for their bestselling classic, When God Writes Your Love Story, Eric and Leslie have become foremost voices on some of the most poignant issues facing the Church today, such as relationships, purity, holiness, and living a fully consecrated life for Christ. Together, they are the authors of eighteen books that have been translated into over a dozen languages around the world. For more about Leslieâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s books, click here. Leslie and Eric are the founders and directors of Ellerslie Leadership Training based in Windsor, Colorado â&#x20AC;&#x201C; an intensive discipleship training program that prepares future leaders for worldimpacting Christian service, and draws men and women of all ages from around the world.

: e t no

We will return to the theme of “single women in ministry” in our next issue! But in the meantime, if, as a single woman you are looking for ways that you can practically build God’s kingdom, this article provides a good starting point!

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REACHING YOUNG WOMEN

FOR CHRIST

PRACTICAL WAYS TO GIVE TODAY’S GIRLS A VISION FOR something more! by LESLIE LUDY

Many years ago, I received a three-sentence letter from a young girl that gripped my soul and broke my heart. She wrote, “Dear Leslie, my mom is pressuring me to start dating and sleeping around. I’m only twelve. What should I do?”

Another time a fourteen-year-old girl told me, “My mom has told me I should never get married because if I do, I’ll only end up getting divorced.” The more I interacted with modern young women, the more disturbed and heartbro-

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ken I became. Even though many girls I met came from church-going families, there was a noticeable lack of Christ in their home lives. I spoke with countless young women who were desperately crying out for their parents to protect them and guide them in the way of Truth. But in all too many cases, their parents seemed just as lost and confused as they were. After several years of speaking and ministering to young women, I came to a heartbreaking but unmistakable conclusion - today’s young women are not just in need; they are in crisis. I will never forget seeing a documentary about a large group of teens (most of them girls between the ages of 12 and 14) from an upper-class American suburb who had to be treated by the health department for a serious STD outbreak, because dozens of them were engaging in extreme sexual behavior without their parents’ knowledge. In nearly every case, the parents of these children were simply not paying attention to what was really going on with their children. They were busy with career pursuits, church activities, and bustling social lives. Their homes were filled with televisions and video games. There was so much noise and distraction in their lives that they weren’t able to see the warning signs that something wasn’t right.

Sadly, this scenario is all too common today. Yes, there is a remnant of Christcentered parents who are raising Christfocused girls, but a large majority of girls in the younger generation are not receiving the strength, guidance, and Truth that they desperately need. They are lost, lonely, and insecure. There is a hunger in their souls for “something more” but they have no idea where to find it. And as a result, they are prone to making very damaging choices. Abortion and STD’s are rampant. Unhealthy relationships are the norm. Drinking, drugs, and other self-destructive habits are commonplace. And even in many Christian circles, today’s young women are far more influenced by the ungodly messages of pop-culture than by the life-changing Truth of Jesus Christ.

THERE IS A HUNGER IN THEIR SOULS FOR “SOMETHING MORE” BUT THEY HAVE NO IDEA WHERE TO FIND IT.

Maybe you, like me, have a burning desire to reach these precious young women with the hope and Truth of Jesus Christ. Perhaps you have specific girls in your life that you have a burden for. You know God has put you in their lives for a reason, but you aren’t exactly sure how to take the first steps in reaching them.

your married years, and into your old age - you can be an example of Christ (both in word and deed) to the girls that God has placed in your life, and make an eternal difference in God’s kingdom.

In Titus 2:4 women are exhorted to “encourage” or “teach” younger women in God’s ways. It’s exciting to realize that pointing younger women to Christ is a commission that we have received from God Himself - and that He will provide all of the wisdom and strength we need in order to fulfill it. You don’t have to be in your later years to fulfill this command. All throughout your life - in your single years,

1) BE AVAILABLE TO GOD

Here are some practical ways to get started:

Often we assume that reaching today’s young women means writing a book or starting a large-scale ministry. But a key principle of Kingdom work is, “be faithful in little, and you will be entrusted with more.” (See Luke 19:17) A year or two before I was married, I began meeting every so often with a handful of girls that God had

placed in my life. These young women desired to go deeper with Christ, and they were always full of questions about how to navigate difficult areas of their lives. That’s how my ministry to young women began. I didn’t strategize my “ministry goals” or come up with a ten-year plan for growing a large ministry to young women. I simply made myself available to the few girls that God brought across my path, prayed for them diligently, and shared spiritual truths with them as best I could. I didn’t always feel super-confident in my ability to make a lasting impact in their lives. There were many times that I prayed silently, “Lord, I have no idea what to say to the question this girl is asking. Please give me your wisdom right now.” And

He always did! I soon learned that one of the most effective ways to impact girls was to simply share stories from my own personal walk with God. I didn’t always have a perfectly organized message to pass along or a beautifully scripted answer to a difficult question the girls asked me. But just being willing to share my own experiences of how God had faithfully walked me through various struggles, and important spiritual lessons He had taught me, made an incredible impact upon the girls’ lives. If you desire to reach today’s young women with the hope of Christ, a great place to start is by simply making yourself available to the girls God has already placed in your life. Do you have a younger

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TAKE HER ON A SPECIAL OUTING AND SPEND TIME JUST ENCOURAGING HER AND TAKING A PERSONAL INTEREST IN HER LIFE. sister? Take her on a special outing and spend some time just encouraging her and taking a personal interest in her life. Is there a young woman at your church that you are burdened for? Consider inviting her out to coffee. Ask God to awaken you to the opportunities that are sitting right in front of you. Even if you don’t feel like you know exactly how to reach younger girls or what to say to them, simply making yourself available and taking an interest in their lives will often open the door to eventually reach them at a deeper level. When they sense that you genuinely care about them and that you are willing to take the time to listen to them, they will often begin to open up to you and ask your advice on various struggles they might be facing. As you show yourself faithful in

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the opportunities God has given you (even if they don’t seem big or glamorous) He will begin to entrust you with more. Allow Him to grow and build your ministry to young women in His own perfect time and way. Remember, even if you only reach one young woman with the Truth of the Gospel, your time and energy was very well spent.

2) SET AN UNCOMPROMISING EXAMPLE 1 Tim 4:12 commands us to “...set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.” If your life is going to make an impact on today’s young women, they can’t merely hear your convictions spoken; they must see your convictions lived. In my own life, I discovered that when I lived a faithful, consistent example of the things I believed, girls would often seek me out and invite me to share my convictions with them. I didn’t have to force Truth down their throats; rather, they saw something in my life that made them want to know more. I’ve often shared the story of two young women in China who became Christians

Wanting to know more

SET APART and went from village to village sharing the Gospel with everyone they met. They were so in love with Jesus Christ that their faces literally glowed. And many times they didn’t even have to seek opportunity to share their faith; people noticed the radiant glow of their faces and asked them, “What do you have inside of you? Whatever it is - I want it!” That should be the example of every set-apart young woman. Set the stage for your words by backing them up with your life. If you do, you’ll never have to force the Truth on young women; they will come to you, wanting to know more. And they will look to your life to prove that what you speak is true. 1 Peter 3:15 sums it up well: “Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander.” I will never forgetting hearing the true story of a cruel communist who was thrown into a prison cell with a Christian pastor. The pastor preached the Gospel to the communist relentlessly for months. Finally the communist had had enough. “That’s it,” he told the pastor. “I’m sick of hearing about this Jesus. I will give you

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once sentence to tell me who Jesus is, and then I don’t want to hear about Him ever again!” Without hesitation the pastor replied, “He’s like me.” After a moment of silence the communist said, “If He is like you, I am ready to give my life to Him.” Modern Christians often think that in order to appeal to today’s young women, they must use the culture’s tactics - chick flicks, rock concerts, shopping sprees, spa treatments, etc. I can’t even count the number of Christian girls’ retreats I’ve been invited to speak at over the years where every activity seemed centered around shallow frivolity rather than life-changing Truth. It may be tempting to believe that because young women are so influenced by pop-culture, we need to bring pop-culture into the church in order to reach them. But the opposite is true. Jesus said “If I am lifted up…I will draw all men unto Me.” (See John 12:32) Today’s girls aren’t looking for more shallow fluff and pop-culture entertainment - they are desperately hungry for the pure, unapologetic, unadulterated Truth of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, even if they don’t realize it yet! So don’t try to become culturally hip or use worldly trends to make yourself more appealing to today’s young women. Simply live out your convictions in purity,

love, gentleness, and consistency - and young women will naturally be drawn to the light and strength they see in your life.

3) DON’T UNDERESTIMATE PRAYER 1 John 5:16 exhorts us, “Now this is the confidence that we have in Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us…If anyone sees his brother sinning a sin which does not lead to death, he will ask, and He will give him life...” When we see compromise in a young woman’s life, our first response should not be confronting her or trying to convince her to change her ways. Though there is certainly a time and place for godly confrontation of sin, God’s Word says that when we see our brother or sister sinning, we are to ask in faith for that person to be delivered from sin and set upon the path of life. We are to have confidence that God hears us, believing that He will (not might) bring victory in the other person’s life through our importunate prayers. Often, our human tendency is to want to rush headlong into the situation and try to use our debate skills to bring about change in someone’s life. But we must remember

HE CAN MAKE YOU AN INSTRUMENT OF HOPE AND LIGHT AMONG THE MANY LOST AND HURTING GIRLS OF OUR CULTURE. that true heart-change is a work of the Spirit of God, and not of our own effort. It is not something we can accomplish in our own strength. And if we give in to anger and criticism, we get in the way of God’s work in the other person’s soul. And as mentioned earlier, James 1:20 reminds us that “the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God.” Prayer is a far more powerful weapon that our words will ever be. If you know a young woman who seems unwilling to hear Truth spoken into her life, be praying faithfully and consistently for God to change her heart. Often, prayer will soften the soil of her heart unlike human words ever could. A young woman who

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seems hardened and impossible to reach can be completely changed through the faithful prayers of a friend. The more you consistently pray for the young women in your life, you will notice that they will be much more receptive to the Truth that you speak to them and much more interested in the convictions you are living out. Even those people in our lives that seem like the toughest “nuts to crack” are not above the power of prayer. “For with God, nothing is impossible” (Lk. 1:37).

+++ It is wonderful to realize that God cares even more about the young women today than we ever could! If you surrender your

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life to Him and respond to the opportunities He places in your life, He can make you an instrument of hope and light among the many lost and hurting girls of our culture. …in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world (Phil. 2:15).

SPECIAL NOTE:

Leslie will be speaking more on “Reaching Young Women for Christ” at the Set Apart Girl Conference June 6-7, 2014 - join us in Colorado or via simulcast! CLICK HERE FOR DETAILS

set-apart women FROM CHRISTIAN HISTORY

A NOTE FROM LESLIE:

Christian history is filled with inspiring examples of women who gave their lives fully to Jesus Christ and changed the world as a result. In this series, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m excited to share glimpses of their stories and explore the powerful truths that we can learn through their examples!

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Catherine Booth THE POWER OF RELENTLESS SPIRITUAL PASSION by LESLIE LUDY

ÂŠ 2014 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. This magazine contains material protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No part of this magazine may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without express written permission from Leslie Ludy and Set Apart GirlÂŽ.

Never be lacking in zeal,

but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord.

Not long ago

I gave a short exhortation about the importance of keeping prayer and time with God as one of the highest priorities in our lives - even if it means that we must get less sleep or skip certain social and leisure activities in order to do so. Many responded enthusiastically to this reminder, but some balked. One woman remarked, “Sometimes we just need to let go of these ‘unrealistic spiritual expectations’ and take a nap!”

R O MA N S 1 2 :1 1

This attitude is common in modern Christianity. For some reason, anytime someone starts talking about having tireless spiritual passion and pursuing Christ with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength we are tempted to reason, Oh, that’s completely unrealistic. No one can be that passionate about Christ at all times. If we try, we’ll only end up putting unhealthy pressure upon ourselves and getting exhausted. It can’t be done.

SET APART But Jesus says otherwise. He tells us, “Blessed are those servants whom the master, when he comes, will find watching (Luke 12:37).” The word “watching” in this context literally means, “to be roused from sleep, to be awake, to be on the alert.” In a culture that so heavily promotes laziness and self-indulgence, many of us have adopted a lackadaisical mindset toward our relationship with Christ. Countless Christians today have accepted mediocrity and spiritual dullness as the norm. We often don’t even believe there can be something more to the Christian life than simply “going through the motions” out of duty or obligation. Few of us possess any lasting spiritual passion. And most of us aren’t even pursuing it, because we don’t think it is really possible to ever find it. In Romans 12:1 Paul says, “Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord.”

Certainly it is possible or God would not have put it in the Bible! What baffling words. I have often read that verse and wondered, “How is it possible to

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never lose my zeal for God and to always keep my spiritual fervor?” Certainly it is possible, or God would not have put it in the Bible! When I think of Christian women who have lived out this command successfully, I immediately remember the amazing life of Catherine Booth - the co-founder of the Salvation Army - who lived in the late 1800’s. Her example of relentless, unwavering spiritual passion - even amid the challenges of chronic illness, financial difficulties, child-raising, and constant travel - never ceases to amaze and inspire me. Here is just a short overview of what she accomplished for God’s kingdom in her relatively short lifetime: She nurtured her eight children and raised them as faithful soldiers of the Cross. She used her gift of writing and speaking to awaken the church of England from its spiritual stupor. She visited the poor, saved the lives of sick children, and brought the Gospel to many drunkards - helping them become transformed by the power of Christ. She supported her husband and helped him establish and grow one of the largest and most powerful Christian forces in history. She was so outward-focused, so tireless in her preaching the of Gospel, so relentless in calling the Church to triumphant Christianity that she forever changed millions of lives. At the end of her life, fifty thousand people gathered to hear her last message,

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and fifty thousand came to her funeral. (I find these numbers astounding in light of the fact that there were no planes or cars back then to make travel easier!)

The Bible makes it clear that this kind of tenacity and unwavering faith is available to any of us who will simply believe our God. It’s easy to think that a remarkable woman like Catherine Booth only comes along once in every couple of generations, or that there was something especially extraordinary about her that made it possible for her to accomplish such great things for God. But the Bible makes it clear that this kind of tenacity and unwavering faith is available to any of us who will simply believe our God. (See Hebrews 11:4-38 and James 5:17.) God desires to work the same power and triumph in our lives as He did in Catherine Booth’s, if we are only willing to make ourselves available to His supernatural transforming power.

As I’ve studied Catherine’s life and example, I have noticed several spiritual qualities that marked her life and kept her spiritual fervor thriving. I believe they are traits that each and every one of us can personally discover and experience. (After all, we serve the same God that Catherine Booth served!) Here are the godly characteristics about her life that stand out most to me:

1) SHE DID NOT ALLOW WEAKNESS TO RULE. Catherine had many serious health challenges for the majority of her life, including tuberculosis, heart trouble, and scoliosis of the spine. She said, “I can scarcely remember a day of my life which has been free from pain.” And yet, rather than allowing her weakness to limit her ability to fulfill God’s calling upon her life, she rose above it, leaning on His strength and trusting that He would sustain her for the tasks before her. It was said of her that “scores of times she arose from her sickbed to minister to the poor, or preach the Gospel to eager, waiting crowds.” She faithfully followed the example of Paul who said, “I discipline my body and bring it into subjection, lest, when I have preached to others, I myself should become disqualified” (1 Cor. 9:27). Catherine personally

took hold of the “more than conquerors” promise of Romans 8:37. She refused to allow physical or emotional weakness to rule her life or have a greater say than the Spirit of God. Once, when her young adult daughter was going through an emotional struggle, she wrote to her, “Do not give way to lowness while you are young… rise up on the strength of God and resolve to conquer!” Because Catherine never allowed her own physical weakness to hold her back or become an excuse for mediocrity, she was able to exhort others to have that same “conquering spirit” by leaning upon the supernatural strength of God.

2) SHE DID NOT COMPLAIN. Catherine’s life was certainly not easy. She and William raised their eight children while living as itinerant missionaries; having no “settled home” or predictable lifestyle. As pioneers of the Salvationist movement, they faced scorn and criticism from many “comfortable” Christians who did not appreciate their strong stance for Truth. Because they were not sent out by a church or denomination, they had to live on faith, and faced many financial difficulties especially in the early days of their ministry. Personally, I would find

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it extremely challenging to raise eight children while traveling constantly, let alone carrying the weights of ministry and being the object of public ridicule! (Not to mention living with illness and constant pain.) And yet, because Catherine’s security was found in Heaven and not earth, she was never moved or shaken by any of these difficulties. It was said of her that “There have been few persons in the history of mankind who met affliction with so much fortitude, who repined so little under acute pain.”

This frail but tenacious woman leaned wholeheartedly upon the Spirit and the strength of God to do what could never be done in human strength.

I am deeply convicted by Catherine’s example of “enduring hardship as a good solider of Jesus Christ” (2 Tim 2:3) and “doing all things without complaining or disputing” (Phil 2:14). Her incorrigibly cheerful attitude gave her greater strength to face extreme challenges triumphantly, by the grace of God.

3) SHE WAS EXCELLENT AT BOTH MOTHERHOOD AND MINISTRY. Many women today believe it is impossible to raise godly children and also be active in ministry and leading others to Christ. But Catherine’s life proves otherwise. Though she led countless thousands to Christ, wrote books that awakened the slumbering church, and personally rescued the dying and impoverished, she always gave her very best to her family. It was said of her that, “She never neglected her children’s spiritual welfare. She counseled them, watched with wisdom over their spiritual development, education, and courtships, and taught them that it is not so much what one does as how much one loves, for love, she said, is the fulfilling of the law. Each of her eight children grew up to become leaders in world-changing Christian work, and two of her sons-in-

law adopted the last name “Booth” out of their deep love and respect for Catherine and William’s Christian example. To be truly excellent at both family and ministry requires supernatural grace. This frail but tenacious woman leaned wholeheartedly upon the Spirit and the strength of God to do what could never be done in human strength.

4) SHE TOOK RISKS FOR GOD. She once wrote about some of her earliest experiences in proclaiming the Gospel to the lost, as a young wife and mother in England. Walking in a poor district of the town, she saw poverty, pain, and abuse, and her heart ached to bring light into the midst of the darkness. She began to pray for God’s Spirit to guide her steps and make her an instrument of the Gospel among the poor, and especially among those who were enslaved to alcohol. She writes, I observed a woman standing on the adjoining doorstep with a jug in her hand. My divine teacher said, “speak to that woman.” After a momentary struggle I introduced myself to her and invited her [to the church service]. She answered, “I can’t go to chapel, I am kept at home by a drunken husband.” I asked if I might

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come in and see her husband. “No” she said. “He is drunk; you could do nothing with him, and he will only abuse you.” I replied, “I am not afraid; he will not hurt me.” I followed her up the stairs. I felt strong now in the Lord and in the power of His might, and as safe as a babe in the arms of its mother. I realized I was in the path of obedience, and I feared no evil. I found a fine, intelligent man, about forty, sitting almost double in a chair, with a jug by his side, out of which he had been drinking. I leaned on my Heavenly Guide for strength and wisdom, love and power and He gave me all I needed. He silenced the demon, strong drink, and quickened the man’s perceptions to receive my words. As I began to talk to him, with my heart full of sympathy, he gradually raised himself in his chair, and listened with a surprised and half-vacant stare. I spoke to him of his present deplorable condition, of the folly and wickedness of his course, of the interest of his wife and children, until he was fully aroused from the stupor in which I found him. I read to him the parable of the Prodigal Son, while the tears ran down his face like rain. I then prayed as the Spirit gave me utterance, and left, promising to call the next day. From that time I commenced a systematic course of house-to-house visitation, devoting two evenings per week to the

work. The Lord so blessed my efforts that in a few weeks I succeeded in getting ten drunkards to abandon their soul-destroying habits and to meet me once a week for reading the Scriptures and for prayer” (*William and Catherine by Trevor Yaxley, p 98-99).

“I knew it would be impossible for me to keep my faith in my own power...” Catherine’s decision to ask big things of her Lord and stand upon the promise that “all things are possible with God” caused her to have a courage unlike most other women. She spoke boldly and unapologetically against the self-indulgent, mediocre Christianity so common in her country. “It will be a happy day for England,” she once observed, “when Christian ladies transfer their attention from poodles and terriers to destitute and starving children.” She reminded women that living for pleasure and filling their days with eating, drinking, dressing, riding, and sight-seeing left no time to serve God. They were too occupied with self, she said, to develop spiritual resources. She did not care if people approved of her. She did not try to please the crowds. She spoke what needed to

be spoken, whether it made her popular or not. And ironically, because she was willing to take these risks for God’s glory, her message spread around the world like wildfire.

+++ For many years, I have been asking God to work each of these spiritual qualities deeper within my own life. Whenever I am tempted to accept mediocrity or come up with reasons for why I cannot passionately pursue Jesus Christ and triumphantly fulfill the tasks He’s placed in front of me, Catherine’s testimony puts me to shame in a good way. Her life reminds me never to settle for less than “the impossible life” that God has called me to and propels me to “rise up on the strength of God and resolve to conquer!” Whenever you find yourself growing a bit lax in your spiritual life, or feeling like you are facing too many challenges to go after God with all of your might and strength, I encourage you to remember the example of this simple woman who kept her spiritual fire aflame against incredible odds. In light of her story, we have no excuses for accepting mediocrity. Catherine Booth’s example urges us to “leave it all on the field”, by His grace, and for His glory!

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Responding to mmodest Pressure A TEAM ARTICLE I n t ro b y ELS JE Z ORN E S

around the age of fourteen, there was one older girl in our church that I looked up to as the epitome of godly femininity. She was tall and elegant, soft-spoken and kind, meek and modest...at least that’s what I thought. Imagine my dismay then, when I saw her in a rather revealing evening dress. It entirely baffled and confused my understanding of modesty. More and more, I saw it happening. The older girls that I looked up to seemed to feel no hesitation to compromise in the area of modesty, especially when it came to certain occasions. Maybe it was okay for a dress to be a little shorter when it is for a formal event or perhaps I was being too old-fashioned in thinking that my bathing suit needed to cover up in the same way my other clothes do.

Modesty flows from a heart that is humble before the Lord. Modest clothing is more than just some outward choices we make, like a longer dress instead of a miniskirt. Modesty flows from a heart that is humble before the Lord. Our culture has made many of us believe that being unfashionable is a high sin which can only be cleansed at the altar of low neck-lines and sheer fabric. We’re

so afraid of being a faux pas, that we’ve thrown away all standard of what modest, feminine apparel ought to be. God calls us to “walk in a manner worthy of the calling we have received” - and though there might be greater pressure for us to compromise in certain areas, the entirety of our lives should be held to the same standard of modesty and discretion. We seem to be excellent, and cunningly creative, at finding excuses for immodest apparel. Our figure, trends, other girls’ choices of clothingor the desire to “express yourself” all seem to have found their way into many young Christian women’s justification for clothing that is less than the standard that the Bible calls is to. Modesty is not optional, it is commanded, and not just when we feel like it, but in all areas of life, all the time (1Tim 2:9). Our flesh - that selfish, sinful part of us that craves control - is always looking to find a voice and position in our lives and many young women give it place through their clothing choices. We are commanded by God to “put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires.” Excusing away an immodest outfit is only making provision for the flesh to gratify its unhealthy desires in your life. Instead, let us, as blood-bought children of God, put on Christ allowing His purity, beauty, and radiance to shine through us!

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Overcoming Excuses EXCUSE #ONE:

God doesn’t want me to be ashamed of my body, does He? He gave me a (curvy, slim, petite, athletic, etc.) figure, I’m going to embrace it and flaunt it - not hide it.

ELSJE SAYS: On the surface, this argument may seem to be logical, appealing, and even honoring to God. However, it is flawed because it is built upon a humanist premise instead of a Biblical premise. As Paris Reidhead said in one of his sermons, Ten Shekels and a Shirt: “Humanism says, ‘the end of all being is the happiness of man’ [. . .] Christianity says, ‘The end of all being is the glory of God.’” Humanism has taught us that selfexpression is the highest form of fulfillment, purpose, and self-actualization; this is why we have so much self-esteem, believe in yourself, follow your heart mumbo-jumbo in our culture. Thus, if we buy the bait, and believe that “expressing ourselves” (including our figure and form) is the course of greatest fulfillment we will be left with a phony bill of good. Self cannot satisfy self. Thus, as Christians, we submit to the Bible and what it says. When it says, “For you were bought at a price; © 2014 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. This magazine contains material protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No part of this magazine may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without express written permission from Leslie Ludy and Set Apart Girl®.

therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s” (1 Cor. 6:20) - it means it. And we believe it and we obey it. We, then, are to conform ourselves to that command (to glorify God with our bodies), rather than endeavoring to preserve ourself at any level -- including the shape of our body. Our body is to be used to be a reflection of Christ’s nature, character, and holiness. The excuse of, “Well God made me this way, so I’m glorifying God by flaunting what I’ve got,” is foolishness at the highest levels. I could say, “Well, God made me with a fist so I’m going to punch annoying people for His glory,” but obviously I’m missing the purpose for which God made my hand. Yes, God made your body, and each of us will have a different shape, however we must recognize that we are responsible to use this body in a manner that conforms to His Word. We can use our body as a tool of “self-expression,” but we are made to be a tool of God-glorification. This means we ought not to dress to accentuate ourselves, but we ought to adorn our body in a way that accentuates the beauty of Christ. How does one adorn their body to accentuate the beauty of Christ? Well, they must surrender their desire for self-centeredness, and recognize that God Word speaks very plainly about how a woman ought to adorn herself. Beautifully, this adornment begins with Christ at the very center of a woman’s life and affections, this then flows outward to the clothes and adornment which she wears externally. God’s pattern brings life. Humanism’s pattern is a prison of death. Dressing to glorify Christ, and not to glorify your own shape and form brings forth true beauty!

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EXCUSE #TWO:

Modesty standards are relative. Everyone is entitled to determine what they feel comfortable wearing - you can’t put pressure on people to dress a certain way.

HEATHER SAYS: One common excuse that comes up in regards to modesty is that everyone has their own standards, and those standards are relative to each person - that’s good for you, this is good for me. Yes, it’s true, there are not specific guidelines in the Bible for how high your neckline should be or the length of your hem. But that does not mean that modesty itself is relative. As Christian women, every one of us are called to maintain a purity and dignity in the way we dress that points others to Christ. This may vary somewhat between women depending on personal conviction, but there are certain things that cannot be compromised. 1 Corinthians 12:23 says, “…and those parts of the body that we think less honorable we bestow the greater honor, and our unpresentable parts are treated with greater modesty.” Paul here is using an analogy for the church as the Body of Christ, but his point can be applied to our actual, physical body. There are certain parts of our body that are not be be seen by others, not because we are to be ashamed of them, © 2014 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. This magazine contains material protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No part of this magazine may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without express written permission from Leslie Ludy and Set Apart Girl®.

but because we are “honoring” them, as the verse states. And not only is it honoring to your own body, but to your husband, future or current. So our thinking shouldn’t be, “How much can I show and still be modest?” but, “How can I go the extra mile to honor my future husband and the others around me?” It can be eye-opening to take a moment to consider how you would like other young women to dress around the man you will one day marry… would you want him to constantly be battling temptation because of the way the women around him are dressing, or would you desire them to go the extra mile to encourage him in his pursuit of holiness and purity, out of honor for him and for you, his future wife? It might mean a little bit of a mindset switch. But when the motives behind your wardrobe choices are in alignment with the Bible, it will be a joy to dress in such a way that you know will not cause others to stumble and will bring glory to the Lord. Modesty standards will no longer be relative, but will be dictated by the truth revealed in the Word of God!

As Christian women, every one of us is called to maintain a purity and dignity in the way we dress that points others to Christ.

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EXCUSE #THREE:

Guys ought to be responsible for their own eyes - I can’t help it if they think impure thoughts because of what I’m wearing - that’s their own issue!

MANDY SAYS: While it is true that you cannot control the thoughts in a guy’s mind, you can control whether or not your wardrobe is a catalyst to impurity and lust. You can be a champion of purity by simply obeying Scripture, dressing discretely (1 Tim. 2:9-10), and allowing the beautiful and reverent Spirit of Christ to shine forth in every area of your life (Matt. 5:16). The calling to purity, honor, and modesty in the way that we dress cannot be argued away - it’s simply a matter of laying aside selfish excuses and choosing the fear of the Lord. Our lives and bodies are not our own, for we have been bought with a price (1 Cor. 6:1920). In like manner that Christ did, we are called to bear His humility of mind, obedience, and servanthood (Phil. 2:5-8). We are to consider the good of others (including their purity) of higher esteem than our own opinions, desires, or convenience (Phil. 2:3-4). If you are struggling to discern the appropriateness of your wardrobe, take a step back and ponder eternity for a moment. We must understand the weight of Jesus’ words when He said that is would be better that © 2014 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. This magazine contains material protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No part of this magazine may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without express written permission from Leslie Ludy and Set Apart Girl®.

a millstone be tied around our neck and be cast into the sea, than to cause another to stumble into sin (Lk. 17:2). We will be held accountable for the choices that we make - even in regards to our wardrobe. On that final day will Jesus be able to commend you, saying, Well done, my good and faithful servant?

Overcoming Areas of Compromise ATHLETIC WEAR ELSJE SAYS: Super-tight tops and figure-hugging pants seem to be filling up the racks of the athletic wear department of most stores. Finding modest work-out wear is a task that requires prayer and purpose! I found that buying tops and pants in stretchy fabric in a size-up met the standards of modesty and comfort. T-shirts that are extra long length are always a good option when you are planning to be active, and need the assurance that your shirt will not accidentally ride up. Always be mindful about the activity you are planning on participating in, and make sure your sports bra provides extra support for running, jumping, and all other high-impact activities.

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MANDY SAYS: From seasons spent on various sports teams throughout my high school years, to my personal endeavors to stay fit and trim, I’ve run around the athletic block more than a time or two! Whether I’m out for a run on quiet country roads or on an elliptical at the gym, it is still important that I am mindful of what I wear. The testimony of our lives doesn’t magically pause when we are exercising, allowing for a spandex bodysuit or uber-short shorts. Rather, as we seek to honor our God in our clothing choices in all the various aspects of our lives, He is faithful to shower our obedience with perfect blessing and provision! For those of you who are eager to see the rubber meet the road in your life, here are a few tips that I’ve found helpful! I hope these practical tips encourage you and give you a fresh vision for what set-apart workout wear can look like. With God’s smile of blessing and some creative effort on my part, my exercise wear offers me all of the coverage I desire and even lends to a more “put-together” look! A while back I found some styled and colorful, loose razor-back workout tanks on clearance for a mere $3. Though I wouldn’t wear them alone, I layer them over a simple, black scoop-neck t-shirt for modest coverage and a cute layered look. While it is more challenging to find tops that can be worn alone, with prayerful and diligent searching I’ve found a few of those over time too! Other workout tops that can’t be worn alone for various reasons - too sheer, too low, etc - can be paired with a modest workout top underneath. (As a

further note, one thing to be wary of when layering and pairing is that your layers stay in place. Continually having to tug-and-pull at your clothing isn’t practical and is embarrassing when things slip out of place!) While it is true that in the end, adding an extra layer at the top will make us a bit warmer while working out, the reward of well-honoring our God means so much more. Besides, you’ll get used to it as it becomes your new “normal” and you’ll probably burn a few extra calories too! There are also great workout pants and capris that have a loose fit, rather than the exercise pants that cling to your every curve. Especially in the “rear area”, it’s important that your workout pants are not form fitting, revealing undergarment lines, or amplifying every movement of your body. If you’ve ever seen it, you know what an unpleasant and distracting scene these kinds of pants can be! Another good option that I like are skim shorts that are loose fitting and fall just below the knee. Different athletic companies also offer longer basketball style shorts that leave space for movement while working out, but have a loose and flowy look. For some reason, we can begin to excuse modesty from workout clothing. Perhaps we are licensed to wear clothing that skimps in the fabric department since we’ll be getting really hot. Or skin-tight clothing is fine since it is practical and won’t “interfere” with our movement. All excuses aside, I challenge you to take a fresh look at your workout wear. Does it expose too much of your figure? Is it honoring to God and to others around you? Would you wear it in front of © 2014 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. This magazine contains material protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No part of this magazine may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without express written permission from Leslie Ludy and Set Apart Girl®.

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your pastor without a blush? Take a fresh look and prayerfully evaluate with a heart that is ready to joyfully follow the leading of your King!

Take a fresh look and prayerfully evaluate with a heart that is ready to joyfully follow the leading of your King!

SWIM WEAR ELSJE SAYS: The options for swimwear seem to be either lacking decency or lacking any sense of beauty. Creative mixing-and-matching of modest pieces has proven very necessary for me in finding modest swimwear. Pairing a shirt, in breathable fabric from the athletic wear department, with longer-length shorts, a floppy sun hat and some extra protection sunscreen will provide just the right outfit for soaking up some Vitamin-D loaded sunshine.

MANDY SAYS: We live in day where “swimwear” has become a license to lounge poolside in barely-there scraps of fabric that greatly resemble undergarments more than anything else. I mean, if you are going to go swimming, it just makes sense to strip down to your skivvies, right? And apart from that, the culture we live in shouts, “If you’ve got it - flaunt it!” and this unfortunate mentality has subtly weeded its way into the hearts of modern girls,

including “church girls”. Though we certainly wouldn’t applaud such a brash statement, the evidence in this area of our lives often proves our submission to the culture rather than to Christ.

God is simply asking me to walk obediently and humbly before Him...and to allow the testimony of a set-apart life to speak through my choices to honor Him.

All too easily, we make excuses to pardon ourselves from a higher standard in the area of swimwear. It’s not like I’m wearing a string bikini! Did you see what so-and-so was wearing? It’s too hard to find anything that is covering - and this was the best I could find! But what are other people going to think if I wear something more? I’ll stick out like a sore thumb! . . . And the excuses go on! When God awakened me to living a set-apart life for Christ, He gently began to transform this area of my life. And I’ve found that the greatest relief and victory from these pit-falling excuses has been to joyfully and confidently embrace the standard that God calls us to as His prized daughters. Rather than comparing myself to others, desperately contemplating what is acceptable, or criticizing the standards of others, God is continually teaching me to walk with the eyes of my heart fixed upon Him, not looking to the left or the right. I’ve learned that I don’t have to be armed with an apologetic discourse to in attempt to make other people feel comfortable with my choices. Nor © 2014 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. This magazine contains material protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No part of this magazine may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without express written permission from Leslie Ludy and Set Apart Girl ™.

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do I need to heed the voice of insecurity that attempts to persuade me off-course. God is simply asking me to walk obediently and humbly before Him. . . and to allow the testimony of a set-apart life to speak through my choices to honor Him. As a lifelong lover of summertime, sunshine, and water, you can believe me when I say that I’ve diligently searched for set-apart swimwear! As I’ve sought to honor God in this area, I’ve looked to Him with full expectation that He will faithfully provide all that I need to honor Him - and I’ve found that He always provides! With His blessing, I’ve found creative means of improving my swimwear wardrobe with several great options. In hopes of encouraging and aiding you in your quest for set-apart swimwear, I wanted to share a glimpse of what I’ve found as well as some stores and brands that carry workable options. Athletic Tops: Generally, searching in the sportswear and outdoor sections have reaped some great pieces for me. Because athletic/outdoor wear is made for getting wet, you’ll likely find better pieces that won’t cling to your figure when you climb out of the pool because they are “moisture wicking”.

At the top, I have an exercise top that has some sweet feminine detailing that I layer with a fitted colorful exercise tank underneath. This provides an extra layer for coverage, modest support, and the ability to tuck the fitted tank into my board shorts to accommodate for those wild ocean waves!

Board Shorts: Whether you are spending the day kayaking on the river, or tumbling in the ocean waves and playing bocce ball on the shore, longer board shorts offer great coverage and amazing versatility for fun in the water and sun! Finding my board shorts online was a long search, but well worth it! They have colorful flowers printed and embroidered down the sides and a cute beaded tie at the waist. While I would have thought that board shorts had to resemble guys’ swim trunks, I found that there are longer options that still bear a feminine flair. It is important to remember that God is the Creator of beauty and isn’t out to quench the notions of it! A few helps to get you started: Searching online is a great way of finding good deals and ordering multiple sizes for trying on is helpful. I’ve also found some feasible swimwear options at stores like TJMaxx, Marshalls, Ross, and sporting goods stores such as Dicks or Sports Authority. Even Target and Wal-Mart have had some decent options in their athletic wear sections! If you are looking for some specific brands to get you started, here are a few that have (some) good options: O’Neill, Roxy, Columbia, North Face, Nike, Sperry, Marika, and Champion.

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If I wouldn’t have worn a tightly fitted top before I was pregnant, then why would I wear one simply because I was pregnant?

MATERNITY WEAR LAUREN SAYS: Now that I’m close to six months pregnant, I definitely understand the challenge of finding modest maternity wear! Prior to becoming pregnant, I had noticed that snug-fitting clothing seemed to be the norm amongst many expectant moms. At first it didn’t seem like the thing to do, but early in my pregnancy, the Lord began to impress upon my heart a renewed vision for modesty during pregnancy. If I wouldn’t have worn a tightly-fitted top before I was pregnant, then why would I wear one simply because I was pregnant? Though pregnancy is a wonderful time of expectancy and celebrating a new life growing within, it is also still a time of cherishing feminine mystique and seeking to point others to Jesus - not just one’s growing midsection. Now I’m not telling you to wear baggy sweatshirts and workout pants! However, as you shop for maternity wear, do be mindful of how a top or a pair of jeans fits you all around. Your sweet baby bump may look adorable in a certain blouse, but is the overall fit a modest one? I am a girl that loves to be comfortable and while I’d sometimes rather wear a big t-shirt and

lounge pants these days, I have really made an effort to find pretty yet comfy maternity pieces. Lately, I love wearing flowing blouses that can be worn with a belt for added structure. Maxi skirts are also incredibly comfortable and look much nicer than lounge pants. Also, don’t despair over the cost of new maternity clothes. Set a budget and trust the Lord to provide. I was so blessed to acquire many lovely pieces through thrift store shopping, clothing loans from sweet friends, and even my mom!

HEATHER SAYS: Our culture seems to give license to pregnant women to be more revealing… Whether it be showing more skin or wearing tighter clothing. I admit, there is definitely a desire to show off that baby bump! But whether we are pregnant or not, as Christians we are called to maintain a dignity and honor in the way we dress. This doesn’t at all mean wearing shapeless potato sacks! As I picked out my maternity wardrobe, I tried to choose things that would be modest and comfortable, as well as feminine and pretty. With a little bit of patience, you can create a maternity wardrobe that is flattering to your rounding figure and honoring to God and those around you.

WEDDING GOWNS LAUREN SAYS: Even though I was never tempted to lower my standards when it came to my wedding dress, I hadn’t © 2014 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. This magazine contains material protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No part of this magazine may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without express written permission from Leslie Ludy and Set Apart Girl ™.

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considered how choosing modesty on my wedding day could actually bless others. At my reception, I had various people come up to me and tell me how refreshing it had been to see a bride in a beautiful yet modest dress. The dress had originally been designed in a way that I wasn’t comfortable with, but by trimming the train of the dress, my amazing seamstress was able to fashion a small lace ‘jacket’ for me to wear over the dress. And did I mention that I found my dress in a thrift shop for only $50? The Lord always provides in His way, in His timing… so trust and obey Him!

HEATHER SAYS: When searching for my wedding gown, I was living overseas at the time, and only had the option of looking online. As I laid it before the Lord, asking Him to provide just the right dress - appropriately concealing yet beautiful - He abundantly answered my prayer! Not only was it all I had hoped for, but when I tried it on for the first time, I didn’t need even one alteration! It was such a testimony of the Lord’s faithfulness when we commit even seemingly “small” details to Him out of a heart that longs to glorify Him!

The Lord always provides in His way, in His timing... So trust and obey Him!

...let us,

as blood-bought children of God, put on Christ, allowing His purity, beauty, and radiance to shine through us!

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the

TRUTH

Flirt ing about

A TE AM A RT ICLE I n t ro b y H E AT H E R C O F E R

Why is it so widely accepted? Is it really as harmless as people make it out to be?

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FLIRTING. It is such a common, accepted practice. Many people would even say it is a perfectly fine and sometimes necessary way of relating to the opposite sex. Some might say that having a forward, provocative demeanor is the best way to be attractive to guys. This mindset has also crept its way into the church. In fact, the vast majority of the flirting I have seen in my lifetime has been in Christian circles. Even I, who grew up in a conservative Christian home where it was by no means condoned, was guilty of it more than once. Why is it that flirting is so widely accepted? Is it really as harmless as people make it out to be? Let’s contrast the description of two different kinds of women in the Bible. We’ll start with the “forbidden woman” or adulteress. We see that she is “loud and wayward” (Prov. 7:11), that she uses “smooth words” (Prov. 7:5), and she speaks with a “bold face” (Prov. 7:13). Now, let’s look at the description of a godly woman; she “opens her mouth with wisdom” (Prov. 31:26), she has a “gentle and quiet spirit” (1 Pet. 3:4), and is “reverent in behavior” (Tit. 2:3). Although flirting may be accepted, it is certainly not found in the description of a woman of godly character - it is just the opposite! What comes to our mind’s eye when we think of a flirtatious woman would probably align more with the character of, well… the adulterous woman. Now, although most flirting does not go to that extent, it most certainly does not lead us toward godliness. The outcome of it is not greater purity, greater honor of our spouse (current or future), or greater love for the Lord.

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HEATHER SAYS: One thing that I often heard after observing too-comfortable interaction with a guy is, “so-and-so is like an older brother.” Having grown up with one older brother and three younger brothers, something didn’t sit quite right with me about that statement. There are a couple of things that don’t match up; first, he isn’t your brother. There are ways a sister can interact with her brother that are not appropriate with guys they aren’t related to. And second, they weren’t really acting toward them like sisters usually act toward brothers. As a sister, I never tried to attract my brother’s attention by forward actions, loud and joking speech, or inappropriate mannerisms. 1 Timothy 5:1 says, “Do not rebuke an older man but encourage him as you would a father, younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, younger women as sisters, in all purity.” (Emphasis mine). Although this is speaking from the perspective of a guy, it has a lot we can apply

to our own lives when relating to young men. Does flirtatiousness fit into the category of treating them as brothers “in all purity”? Our desire and motive for what we say and do around guys should be for their attention to be directed to Jesus, not to us. We should never distract them from pursuing the Lord, but rather spur them on toward Him. This is a good gauge for testing the purity of our actions and words. If you’re not sure how you are coming across, it can be helpful to ask a godly woman (either a peer or someone older) to observe the way you interact with young men, and hold you accountable to maintaining purity in your friendships with them.

ELSJE SAYS: One of the things that attracted me most to my husband, Ben, before we were married, was the way he interacted with the young women around him. His conversations in mixed groups were always

SET APART marked by honor and purity; I never once saw him engage in flirtatious and playful behavior with a girl. Remembering Ben’s pre-marriage friendships, makes me feel loved and cherished, because he was mindful and considerate of my feelings, before he even knew that he would marry me one day. That is what we are called to as Christians. To consider others as more important than ourselves, and place their needs above our own. That is the exact opposite of what flirting is. In essence, flirting is an unhealthy way to attract attention to yourself in a desire for approval from the opposite sex. When you send flirtatious texts, partic-ipate in playful physical interaction with boys, or post inappropriate pictures of yourself on Facebook, your desire for attention takes higher priority than the glory of Christ, or the purity of young men. You are placing your need for approval above the command of purity. Flirting is rooted in selfishness, and entirely without the humility with which we are called to walk. A flirtatious attitude screams: ”me, me, me” and “take, take, take”, while Christ’s love says “others” and “give”. Flirting does not honor God, your future husband, or the guy you are flirting with.

walk

Flirting is rooted in selfishness, and entirely without the humility with which we are called to walk.

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You are wanting candy, without calories; you are wanting the joy of something that is only meant for marriage, without the commitment that the marriage covenant requires. Instead of following the world’s pattern, allow God to transform the way you interact with the young men in your life to display the honor and purity of heaven!

MANDY SAYS: Sitting at a wooden table tucked away in the corner of a coffee shop, Giselle sat talking with dashingly handsome Joe. Giselle playfully toyed with her hair and gazed into his hazel eyes while fluttering hers. “Oh Joe, you’re so smart!” She gushed and sputtered through a giggle as she bounced up out of her seat. She pranced over to the barista counter to fetch her iced chai with yet another giggle and a wink to boot. Let’s be honest. We all know what it means to flirt. And though this scene was very

CHECK YOUR MOTIVES: Why do you frequent the coffee shop on certain days at a certain time? Why do you get dressed nicely and dolled up for church? Why did you join that particular small group?

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What is practiced today becomes the fruit of tomorrow.

Is there anything that you are doing to “put yourself out there” in an attempt to draw the eye of a guy? If so, this is a silent and subtle evidence of a flirtatious spirit. Ask the Spirit of God to check your motives and reveal any ways that you might be putting yourself in situations in an attempt to attract attention of the guys around you. Instead of “putting yourself out there,” trust that God will be faithful to guide this area of your life and will bring along your Handsome Man to “find” you when the time is right. (See Prov. 18:22.)

CARRY YOURSELF WITH CLASS: What is the antithesis of flirting? Carrying yourself with class and minding your own business. God’s Word says that we are to

seek to lead “a quiet and peaceable life” (1 Thes. 4:11) and this includes the area of guy/girl interaction. Rather than joining in the game of flirting and teasing, resolve that you won’t allow your eyes to wander about to see if there are any good-looking guys in the room. Decide that you won’t allow your peaked interest to steer your heart and mind off course, but rather choose continual surrender to Christ. If your eyes wander all around and your heart is continually a-flight with overwhelming attraction, what will change when you are in a relationship? What is practiced today becomes the fruit of tomorrow. A set-apart young woman bears the fragrance of Christ at all times and bears the marks of faithful surrender upon her life. Carrying yourself with class doesn’t mean being cold, blank, or boring. You and I can certainly carry on nice friendships with other guys - our job is to be yielded to the Spirit of God, guarded of heart, and

centered upon Christ in our interactions. Prayerfully commit this area of your life to Jesus Christ and allow Him to lead your words, actions, and expressions. He will be faithful to guide you in His paths of righteousness as you trust and obey Him.

STAND YOUR GROUND: “Here’s how to send him the message that you are attracted to him...” And “. . . if he does this or that in return, you’ll know he likes you back.” With mixed emotions of disgust and grief, I could hardly believe what I was reading as I recently leafed through a modern “Christian” book about relationships. Flirting these days is considered an art form to be studied, practiced, and perfected. It’s true, even in our “Christian world”, flirting is something that has been earmarked as a good, right, and normal way for guys and girls to interact and "test the waters". Because of this twisted mindset, it can seem obscure for a young woman to resist caving to the pressures of our culture, church society, family, and friends. Refusing to “put herself out there” or “give him a hint” is seen as completely prudish. Rather than seeking advice from people that don’t hold a high standard in this area, seek out like-minded godly people

Prayerfully surrender this area of your life to Jesus Christ. who will encourage and strengthen your stance in waiting for God’s best. Remember that you are not alone in seeking God’s best in this area of life. Though you may feel like a tiny minnow swimming upstream in a raging river, continue on with joy and full persuasion that this is the way that God has called you. Stand your ground and hold on to God’s timeless promises to strengthen your heart - “... be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you...” (Joshua 1.9)

HONORABLE INTERACTION: Even today, you and I can be faithfully committed to the man that God has chosen for us by first being fully committed to Jesus Christ and His glory in our lives. Prayerfully (and as necessary, continually) surrender this area of your life to Jesus Christ. If you are faithful to surrender all to God and seek His Kingdom first, there is

SET APART

no need to wallow in worry about how to interact with the guys of your life. As the King of all kings moves into your heart and purifies your life, honorable interaction with the opposite sex will be an outflow and demonstration of Christ’s reign over this area of your life.

GOD’S GRACE AWAITS: Even as set-apart young women, we likely cannot claim peaked perfection in our interactions with the opposite sex. Though being set-apart does not mean being perfect - it does mean fully surren-

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dering to the One who is - and allowing His transformation and nature to take over and brilliantly shine in every area of our lives - guy/girl interaction is no exception. As God touches on this area of our lives and gently guides us in His purity, our required response is to yield to His pruning and ask for His grace to walk upon the higher road of heavenly honor. Upon our whole-hearted plea, God’s grace awaits to take us by the hand and lead us onward in His strength!

PURELY & SIMPLY

a SISTER

EXAMINING WHAT IT REALLY MEANS TO BE A SISTER IN CHRIST © 2014 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. This magazine contains material protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No part of this magazine may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without express written permission from Leslie Ludy and Set Apart Girl ™.

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A L E T T E R F R O M A N A N O N Y M O U S WA R R I O R - P O E T

Dear Sister in Christ, I hope you are growing each day in the love of our Savior, Jesus Christ. Although there are a lot of challenges and distractions to divert you off the path of righteousness, I pray that you will continue on and not lose faith. Have you noticed the lack of godly men in this generation? Yes, I suppose you have; you probably feel it even more acutely than I do. I want to encourage you, however, not to give up. There are many, many men that God is raising up to be leaders in this generation. I have often been tempted to doubt that God is actively working in young women’s lives. You see, from a warrior-poet’s perspective, the set apart girl is nearly extinct. Wherever I look, I often see semblances of girls living out Christianity, but it usually falls by the wayside when it comes to interacting with guys. Although this is discouraging, I refuse to believe that truly set apart girls do not exist—I know they do, and I trust that God is building you to be such a woman. I am writing this letter in hopes that it will encourage and inspire you to be an excellent sister in Christ. Because there is much confusion on how this might practically look, I have included several ideas on how you can encourage Christ-built masculinity within your brothers around you. The advice that follows is written for the intent of interacting with your brothers in Christ in an honoring and beautiful way. You have an amazing opportunity as a sister in Christ to inspire warrior-poet manhood with great excellence, so I hope this is helpful.

NUMBER ONE:

Give hope by living the Christian life Have you ever met a guy who says the right things, attends church and youth group, but seems to be doing it for some ulterior motive? Perhaps to impress a girl? I know this must be disheartening for a girl to see, and conversely it is also disheartening for a guy to see a girl act in such a fashion. Because of this, by you simply living out the Christian life, it actually brings hope to a godly guy like a pool of water in a dry desert. There are brothers in Christ all over the world wondering if there are any women today that are truly seeking Christ, or if they are all out for their own desires and using Christ as a means to an end. Your example of pursuing Jesus can be extremely impacting for the men around you and will be the most important part of you being a sister in the faith to them.

SETAPART APART relationships relationships SET

NUMBER TWO:

Smile for Jesus, not for the “selfie” I know, I know, taking pictures of yourself and posting “selfies” all day long is the "in" thing to do, but it honestly is not very inspiring to a warrior-poet. Don’t get me wrong, not all “selfies” are bad. But the principle here is that to be a great sister in Christ, focus on pointing others to Jesus instead of yourself. I admire my sisters and see a tremendous beauty within them when they are outwardly focused and pointing people to Christ. Inversely, there is a repugnance within my soul when I see girls preoccupied with themselves even when they may be outwardly attractive. Principle being, you will find that selflessness is a great blessing to your brothers in Christ.

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NUMBER THREE:

Make lasagna not top ramen Have you ever found it funny how excited some guys get over Top Ramen? It isn’t that we relish the flavor of the cheap noodle soup with little-to-no nutritional value (although some flavors might be okay). And it isn’t that we think our decorating choice of stacking packages in the shape of the Eiffel Tower is the pinnacle of decorating prowess (although it is creative in its own unique way). But simply put, many men do not possess some of the skills that women seem to specialize in. I know some sisters who are extremely gifted in decorating, cooking, sewing, writing, and many other wonderful skills. As a member of the body of Christ, all of these abilities can be used to strengthen others who are not quite as gifted in these areas. For example, say a brother wants to host an event to meet people in the community and share Christ with them. You might hear about this and collaborate with some other sisters to offer to help in some areas where he might not be particularly skilled. You may offer to decorate tables or organize snacks and refreshments. This seemingly small action can go a long way and really support your brother.

NUMBER FOUR:

We really are just friends When you get along with someone really well, it’s easy to let your guard down. Just because a guy is your brother in Christ, doesn’t mean you should treat him like your biological brother. With your actual brother you don’t need to worry about him interpreting your actions as romantic pursuits, as a brother in Christ may. Because of this, you will need to guard physical touch, converse without spilling your heart to him, and maintain a dignity in all your interactions. This is a big help to warrior-poets, as it can be very easy for us to misunderstand things done or said in moments of unguardedness.

I REFUSE TO BELIEVE THAT TRULY SET-APART GIRLS DO NOT EXIST I KNOW THEY DO, AND I TRUST THAT GOD IS BUILDING YOU TO BE SUCH A WOMAN.

I hope this letter has been helpful. From my perspective it is hard to find a women truly seeking after Jesus and the good of others, but I know that there is hope. Just knowing that you are reading this and desiring more of God is a testimony to my soul to keep pursuing Christ and to stand strong for all the sisters in my life. We may never meet face to face, but on behalf of other men like me, thank you for desiring to live this Christian life, and to be an encouragement to your brothers in Christ! Sincerely,

A Warrior-Poet for Christ ÂŠ 2014 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. This magazine contains material protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No part of this magazine may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without express written permission from Leslie Ludy and Set Apart Girl â&#x201E;˘.

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SET APART

THEBeauty of CHRIST-CENTERED

MOTHERING excerpted from Leslie’s new book Set Apart Motherhood

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have been around countless moms who roll their eyes at the notion that motherhood can be beautiful. They laugh at the idea that there can be dignity in raising children. They scoff at the suggestion that a mom of small kids can be calm, wellgroomed, and well-rested. They snicker at the idea that a home with young children can be clean, beautiful, and orderly. Believe me, I understand where these sentiments come from. I understand how challenging it can be to experience beauty, order, and dignity in the midst of mothering little ones. Eric and I were married for nearly ten years before we had children. Then God in His providence (and divine sense of humor) blessed us with four kids in four years (via two adoptions and two biological children). Since we’d been in public ministry for most of our married life, we thought we were seasoned at handling challenges. But the pressures of speaking in front of large crowds, meeting book deadlines, and leading a global ministry pale in comparison to the pressures of parenting four children. Three of our kids were in diapers at the same time, and

the youngest two had only seven months between them due to an adoption and surprise pregnancy that happened simultaneously. Though we had a wonderful support system of people who helped us keep an orderly home during that season, there were still many moments of diaper blowouts, baby spit-up on the carpet, ear-splitting tantrums, chaos, and constant commotion . . . not unlike that scene from How the Grinch Stole Christmas, when the Whos down in Whoville are making all their “Noise! Noise! Noise!” Now that my kids are a bit older, things are a little less chaotic in our home, and we have gotten past the diaper blowouts, for which I am thankful. But the noise level is about the same, as are the constant demands of raising four young children so close in age. My days are not filled with picturesque Pottery Barn Kids moments, but with noisy, messy, and often extremely exasperating scenarios. Case in point: Recently I spilled about half of a container of milk on the floor of our van. I don’t remember all the details of

I UNDERSTAND HOW CHALLENGING IT CAN BE TO EXPERIENCE BEAUTY, ORDER, AND DIGNITY IN THE MIDST OF MOTHERING LITTLE ONES. © 2014 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. This magazine contains material protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No part of this magazine may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without express written permission from Leslie Ludy and Set Apart Girl ™.

SET APART how it happened, but my guess is that I was unloading kids and groceries at the same time. As usual, I was attempting to carry way more than was humanly possible, while simultaneously mediating a squabble between my two youngest kids while trying to get my six-year-old to stop decorating her white shirt with the pink sidewalk chalk she’d discovered on her way into the house. Consequently, I spilled a large amount of milk all over the carpeted van floor. Which resulted in the smell of sour milk permeating our vehicle. Which resulted in kids whining and complain-ing about the smell every time they got in the car. Which resulted in me loading up all the kids the next morning and driving thirty minutes to the only car wash I knew that could shampoo car floor mats.

Thankful

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I unloaded four rowdy kids into the car wash parking lot, removed all of the car seats, and stashed all the random toys, books, and miscellaneous items into a duffle bag so the van would be clear for its thorough cleaning and the floor mats for a good washing. I hauled the kids, the car seats, and the duffle bag up the crowded sidewalk into the waiting area and got ready to pay for the car wash, making sure to mention that I wanted the carpets shampooed. The sleepy college-aged guy at the counter then informed me that they had decided to stop doing carpet shampoos for the rest of the day, so all I could get would be the basic wash and vacuum. I’m not sure why they chose to stop shampooing carpets the moment I arrived, but I was convinced that they had made the decision for the express purpose of making my life more difficult. “I just drove thirty minutes to have you shampoo the carpets,” I protested. “Isn’t there anything you can do to help me?” “Well,” he said in a distinctly nonhelpful tone, “why don’t you just come back tomorrow?” Uh . . . come back tomorrow? Excuse me, buddy. You really don’t understand my life. I’m a mom of four little kids! It’s a huge ordeal to load them up and take an

hour out of my day to get the van carpets shampooed. Don’t you get it? I can’t come back tomorrow. Tomorrow I have to take one kid to the doctor, another to speech lessons, and another to buy new tennis shoes because his current ones are so caked with mud that they have morphed from light blue to dark brown. I also have to fold five loads of laundry, or my kids will be going to school in their pajamas. And I have to go back to the grocery store because I forgot to buy paper towels. Not sure when I’m going to fit that in. My schedule is super full. I can’t even tell you all the things on my to-do list! There’s no way I can just drop everything and come back tomorrow to have you shampoo my van carpets, okay? Those were pretty much my exact thoughts, and I’m glad I did not voice them out loud. A perfectionist by nature, I like it when things flow smoothly. I am not a fan of inefficiency, such as multiple trips to the car wash in a twenty-four-hour period to clean up milk that should never have been spilled in the first place. But with kids, things don’t always go like clockwork. All my carefully laid plans have a way of growing wings and flying out the window. When that happens, life as a mom can feel stressful and frustrating. But once I got home and the kids and I went outside into the crisp fall air, we ended up

Beauty

having a fun afternoon building memories together. Somehow during those next few days, the van carpet got cleaned, the new tennis shoes got purchased, most of the laundry got done, and (shockingly) we managed to survive for a while without paper towels. The saga of the spilled milk was soon forgotten, and it turned out to be a beautiful week full of great family milestones and memories, such as our youngest son finally learning to ride his bike without training wheels. Motherhood is not easy and never will be. But I have discovered that motherhood can be marked by beauty, joy, and incredible fulfillment when I focus on Jesus Christ, instead of on all the inconveniences and struggles I face along the way.

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I HAVE DISCOVERED THAT MOTHERHOOD CAN BE MARKED BY BEAUTY, JOY, AND INCREDIBLE FULFILLMENT WHEN I FOCUS ON JESUS CHRIST.

Rising Above Mediocrity “Life with kids is chaos,” a mother of four once told me. “We might as well get used to it!” “My kids have destroyed all semblance of order in my life. I can’t even remember what my house looks like clean or what it feels like to get a good night’s sleep,” a harried mother of three complained to me. These are common thoughts among today’s moms. And I know from personal experience how tempting it can be to throw up our hands and jump on the “motherhood is chaos” bandwagon. Mothering can be intensely frustrating and often feels futile. Being a mom disrupts every aspect of your life. Mothers have no downtime, no vacation from raising kids. We cannot take a break from our calling as mothers. It’s a job that requires us to be on call twenty-four hours a day, seven

days a week. There is little private time. (Many mornings when I take a shower, my four-and five-year-old stand outside the bathroom banging on the door and yelling for me to hurry up). And moms of small kids can’t just clean the house every few days and expect it to stay that way. We have a team of little rascals working to undo all of our hard work around the house. They play with the laundry we just folded and dump all our makeup out of the drawer we just organized. They spill spaghetti sauce on freshly cleaned carpet and draw with marker on newly painted walls. Alas, I know these scenarios all too well. In moments such as these, the voice of Despair whispers to my soul, Your life is so chaotic. You might as well give up on expecting anything more. Don’t even try. It’s always going to be this way. Then the voice of Self-Pity chimes in: Poor, poor you. No one understands how hard your life is. Raising four little kids is so stressful and difficult. Everyone else has it so easy, but you never get a break!

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My response to these voices is what leads to either victory or defeat in my mothering. If I entertain these lies, even for a moment, they take root in my soul and grow. Soon the whole day becomes chaotic and discouraging. I feel overwhelmed and exhausted, and my efforts to bring order and peace seem futile. The moment I resign myself to the “life with kids is chaos” attitude, I no longer have the energy to battle for beauty, order, and peace. I’m resigned to mediocrity. But when I cry out to God for victory, He comes to my rescue. He gives me the strength to resist the temptation to throw my hands up in despair or wallow in self-pity. He redeems a day that might otherwise have ended in discouragement and fills it with peace and joy. He calms my tumultuous emotions. He quiets my hyper children. He helps me find their missing shoes. He gives me wisdom for how to organize our routine so that leaving the house becomes smoother and easier. And He opens my eyes to see the sacred privilege He’s given me—helping shape, nurture, and train four future world-changers.

God intends for mothers to experience amazing delight and fulfillment in raising children and running a home. That doesn’t mean that raw and real-life moments won’t happen or that every day will end like an episode of Little House on the Prairie. It simply means that when God is at the center of our mothering, there is beauty, order, peace, joy, honor, and dignity to be found, by His grace. I don’t believe mothers of young children are destined to constantly have peanut-butter handprints all over their walls and piles of dirty laundry all over the floor. I don’t believe it is a mother’s lot to wear sweats every day and never have time to put on makeup or dress with dignity. I don’t believe moms have to be slaves to their children’s emotional tirades and temper tantrums, or wallow in exhaustion and despair. Though I have succumbed to each of these scenarios more than once over the past few years, I believe that God has something so much more for my motherhood than defeat and mediocrity. Proverbs 31 describes what a set-apart mother looks like. She is an active and

GOD INTENDS FOR MOTHERS TO EXPERIENCE AMAZING DELIGHT AND FULFILLMENT IN RAISING CHILDREN AND RUNNING A HOME. © 2014 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. This magazine contains material protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No part of this magazine may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without express written permission from Leslie Ludy and Set Apart Girl ™.

When I cry out to God for victory, HE COMES TO MY RESCUE.

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busy mom. But even with all the responsibilities she carries, she is not frenzied, frazzled, or frumpy. “Strength and dignity are her clothing,” and “she smiles at the future” and “looks well to the ways of her household” (Prov. 31:25,27). She dresses with beauty and dignity, provides for the needs of her household, seeks high-quality materials, and works eagerly with her hands to create beauty, order, peace, and security for those under her care. The Bible makes it clear that God’s pattern for godly motherhood leads to beauty, joy, dignity, honor, and strength. And this pattern is available to each of us when we submit every aspect of our motherhood to Him. God desires to take an ordinary mom and transform her into a radiant, set-apart, “joyful mother of children” (Ps. 113:9). What an exciting promise! I’ve never met a mother who feels like she’s doing everything perfectly. And that is a relief, because neither do I! We must always remember that being a good mother doesn’t mean being perfect. It means becoming dependent upon the

only One who is. Whenever I lean fully and completely on Jesus Christ, He faithfully points me to His perfect pattern for motherhood, one situation at a time. In essence, set-apart motherhood is not about trying to impress people with our parenting skills but about humbly applying God’s Truth to every challenge we face as mothers. Set-apart motherhood means diligently seeking to become the mothers God has called us to be, one step at a time. Our job is not to try to become supermoms or Proverbs 31 women in our own strength. Our job is to surrender to God without reserve and to trust Him with every detail of this heavenly calling. No matter how ill-equipped you may feel as a mother, God has a beautiful purpose for your motherhood role, and He desires you to be strong and prepared for this sacred task. Remember, faithful is He who calls you, who also will do it (see 1 Thess. 5:24)!

SET APART MOTHERHOOD MEANS DILIGENTLY SEEKING TO BECOME THE MOTHERS GOD HAS CALLED US TO BE . . . © 2014 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. This magazine contains material protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No part of this magazine may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without express written permission from Leslie Ludy and Set Apart Girl ™.

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DEVOTIONALS FROM LESLIE LUDY + THE SET APART GIRL® TEAM © 2014 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. This magazine contains material protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No part of this magazine may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without express written permission from Leslie Ludy and Set Apart Girl®.

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GETTING TO THE HEART OF SET APART

THE LATEST: THE TRUTH ABOUT IDOLATRY BY LESLIE LUDY I used to believe that all idols were golden statues in ornate temples and that as long as I wasn’t bowing to them, I didn’t have idolatry in my life. But as I’ve studied Scripture and grown deeper in my relationship with Christ, I’ve realized that an idol is not just a statute. Rather, an idol is anything or anyone that takes a higher position than Jesus Christ in my heart and life; anything that claims more of my devotion and affection than Him. Our God is a jealous God, and He wants our entire heart - not just part of it. (See Ex 20:5) He says, “I am the Lord, that is my name! I will not yield my glory to another or my praise to idols” (42:8) and, “Worship the Lord your God and serve him only” (Luke 4:8). Idolatry divides our heart from Christ. Matthew 6:24 says, “No one can serve two masters...

+ READ THE REST HERE.

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BATTLING

Bl ah-ness EXCHANGING A DULL DISPOSITION

FOR THE JOY OF THE LORD BY HEATHER COFER Recently, my husband asked me how I was doing, and I responded, “I’m ok.” “Just ok?” he replied. “Yeah, I’m just feeling kind of…‘blah’ toay.” There was nothing really wrong… I had had a fairly smooth, productive day with no major mishaps or baby messes. Yet, something just didn’t feel quite right. I had a dull, foggy, joyless kind of disposition, which at first glance didn’t

necessarily seem wrong. I wasn’t angry or frustrated, and I wasn’t depressed or said, I was simply “blah”. As I pondered this, I realized that although my actions were not displaying sinfulness, this attitude was stemming from a root that was not good and not godly. In scripture, it’s crystal clear what the disposition of a Christian ought to be.

“Be glad in the Lord, and rejoice, O righteous, and shout for joy, all you upright in heart.” PSALM 32:11

“I will greatly rejoice in the Lord; my soul shall exult in my God, for he has clothed me with the garments of salvation; he has covered me with the robe of righteousness…” ISAIAH 61:10a

“Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice.”

That word “always” in the last verse doesn’t give us a whole lot of wiggle room for other options besides rejoicing. It doesn’t give allowance for bad days or for any other reason we might not feel like rejoicing; no caveat for “blah-ness” here. In fact, it is just the opposite! We are told to rejoice in the Lord even in the worst of circumstances! (See 2 Cor. 6:10; Col. 1:24; and 1 Pet. 1:6.) So, now that we’ve established that blahness has no place in our lives as Christians, where does it come from, and how do we get it out?

PHILIPPIANS 4:4 © 2014 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. This magazine contains material protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No part of this magazine may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without express written permission from Leslie Ludy and Set Apart Girl ™.

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WHEN WE PURPOSE TO FIX OUR HEARTS UPON HIM AND HIS GOODNESS, EVEN THE SMALLEST OF THINGS CAN OPEN OUR EYES TO MORE OF HIS BEAUTY, CREATIVITY, AND LIFE.

I came to the realization that having blahness in my spirit ultimately comes from a lack of focus upon Christ. When my eyes are fixed upon Him, there is no room for anything other than joy and delight in Him! When I have a dull, dry, emotionless disposition, it is a good sign that I have not been dwelling on the goodness, beauty, and grandeur of God. Instead, my eyes have been turned onto myself, and I have allowed the everyday tasks and happenings of life to become mundane and cause a listlessness of soul. It is amazing how little it takes to become distracted from our focus on Jesus. But it is also amazing how,

when we purpose to fix our hearts upon Him and His goodness, even the smallest of things can open our eyes to more of His beauty, creativity, and life. Simply taking the time to take a peek outside at the bright blue sky and budding flowers or pausing to listen to the birds chirping or my sonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s happy babbling evokes a deep joy in the Lord and a gratitude for the blessings He so abundantly showers on me. In these moments, blah-ness has no place.

BLAH-NESS

HAS NO PLACE.

WITH CAREFUL, DELIBERATE MOMENTBY-MOMENT DECISIONS TO TURN OUR GAZE UPWARD ... WE CAN RISE OUT OF THIS SELFISH RUT AND INTO A LIFE RADIATING WITH THE JOY OF THE LORD! When I put on worship music and praise Jesus, He is at the forefront of my mind and the little cares of this world fade into the background. Meditating on Him and His work can take the most commonplace of things or circumstances and turn them into times of richest fellowship with Him! This is most definitely a discipline that has to be grown and established. It doesn’t come naturally. It is easier to go about day-to-day life and have an attitude that is neither here-nor-there. It doesn’t take much to fall into the rut of selfcenteredness. But with careful, deliberate moment-by-moment decisions to turn our gaze upward, continually asking the Lord to conform our minds and hearts to His, we can rise out of this selfish rut and into a life radiating with the joy of the Lord! When we truly believe - with head and heart knowledge - the glory and worthiness of Jesus to receive our all, this will be made

manifest in every area of our lives. Whether it is the words we speak, the attitudes we exude, or the actions we portray, He will shine brightly in the ordinary and extraordinary moments of our existence. I love this quote by St. Augustine:

“There is a joy which is not given to the ungodly, but to those who love Thee for Thine own sake, whose joy Thou Thyself art. And this is the happy life, to rejoice to Thee, of Thee, for Thee; this it is, and there is no other.” Oh, that this would be the defining mark of our lives - rejoicing to Him, of Him, and for Him! And that when others observe various moments of our day, they would see Jesus and desire Him because of His joy in us that cannot be quenched!

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SET APART

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HOST YOUR OWN

setapartgirl SIMULCAST EVENT A TESTIMONY & ENCOURAGEMENT from HEATHER COFER

LAST YEAR

while overseas with my family, I had the opportunity with my mom to coordinate a mini “Set Apart Girl weekend” similar to a simulcast event for my sisters and a number of other missionary girls. It was simple, but very special - we rented a room in a little café for a few hours, and along with watching a couple of Leslie’s sessions, we played some games, had a time of discussion, prayer, and singing, and enjoyed some yummy treats. Although it was my first time to do anything like that

WE WANTED THE OUTCOME OF THE DAY TO BE FOR THESE YOUNG WOMEN TO COME AWAY WITH A GREATER DESIRE TO MAKE JESUS THE FOCAL POINT OF THEIR LIVES.

and I didn’t know half of the girls, the Lord used it to bless them and to grow me as well. In the days leading up to the event, there were lots of little details to take care of - sending invitations, finding a location, ordering food, figuring out technology components, etc. It was exciting to watch things fall into place little-by-little, and to see “attending” responses come in one after the other. My mom and I wanted the event to be enjoyable, but also very purposeful; special, but fully focused on the Lord. We wanted the outcome of the day to be for these young women to come away with a greater desire to make Jesus the focal point of their lives. When walking through the planning of something like this, I realized the importance of allowing God to use it to refine areas in my life that needed to be changed. Whether it was anxiety arising over little details, the motive behind certain activities, or choosing what discussion questions to ask. In allowing the Lord to guide and direct each aspect, whether large or small, He used it to draw me closer to Him and sanctify me through the process.

SET APART A couple of days before the event, I began realizing that there was already opposition coming against it in various ways. We experienced things from relationship strain between the girls, technical issues, and a late night event the evening before that almost kept many of the girls from coming. My mom and sisters and I committed time to praying that there would be nothing that hindered the work the Lord desired to do in and through this mini conference, and that all the girls who were supposed to be there would come. It is so important in preparing for something like this to bathe it in prayer. The last thing the enemy wants is for more girls to catch the vision for living a life fully surrendered to Jesus. You can be sure that as you step out and begin boldly proclaiming truth that you will come up against seeming roadblocks and schemes of darkness to try to discourage you, but donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t give up! Jesus Christ has power over all darkness, and as you submit it to Him, He will faithfully guard and protect that which He desires to do as a result of your obedience. Throughout our time together, the girls were attentive, but somewhat quiet and shy. It took a little bit of prodding to get them to interact during the discussion time afterward, but they slowly warmed

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up after a little bit of encouragement, and many of them shared about what the Lord was teaching them. If the girls are younger or are not used to talking about their faith, it can seem awkward at first. There is the temptation to respond in different ways - forcing conversation, or becoming intimidated by the silence and giving up. But if you patiently wait and continue to ask questions and share from your own life what God is doing, they will most likely begin opening to open up as well. When it was over, I wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t sure what was on the girlâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s minds. I wondered if there were things I should have added or that I had overlooked. But as they began mingling, many of them came up and thanked me, commenting that it was such an encouragement to them. There were even a few who asked if we could have another one! The thought of hosting a simulcast might be intimidating for some, but if the Lord asks it of you, you can be sure He will give you the grace to do it! And the lives of other young women will be touched and encouraged by your obedience, and God will be greatly glorified!

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SOME PRACTICAL DETAILS WHILE IT MAY SEEM SLIGHTLY INTIMIDATING TO TAKE ON HOSTING A SIMULCAST IT REALLY IS QUITE SIMPLE!

WHO TO INVITE Maybe you just want to have a small group of close friends in your living room. Or maybe you want to fill a whole auditorium! If you want to get the word out, consider talking to your church’s women’s ministry director or the high school and college group leaders. You could also talk to Christian club leaders, women’s Bible studies, or your local home school co-op!

LOCATION The location you’ll need really depends on the size of the group you are hoping to have. If it’s a small group of girls, your living room or a friend’s could be the perfect setting. Or, if you want to make it available to more young women, you could talk with your church about holding it in one of their rooms. There may also be conference rooms available to rent in nearby hotels, restaurants, or event centers.

GETTING THE WORD OUT New this year, we’ve created “Promo Packs” to help you, as a simulcast host, share your event with the young women in your life, church, and community! Included in the promo pack is a DVD of the conference video, along with a bundle of conference brochures, and customized flyers. Showing the video at Bible studies, in Sunday School, or other group settings is a great way of getting the word out about your simulcast. Having brochures and fyers on-hand are a practical way of introducing others to the conference, and personally inviting them! Visit our product page to learn more! © 2014 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. This magazine contains material protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No part of this magazine may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without express written permission from Leslie Ludy and Set Apart Girl ™.

TECHNOLOGY Technology-wise, the list is fairly short. You’ll need a computer (with a fairly current operating system), a sound system (if the group is small enough, this could just be a set of home speakers), a screen large enough for everyone to view comfortably, and access to high speed internet (greater than 1.5Mbsp). It would be good to have someone, either you or another person who will be present, who knows how to set up everything and run the stream (which is also a very simple process). And from there, you’ll be all set!

TIME “What if I can’t watch the live sessions because of the time difference or because I have another obligation that weekend,” you may ask. Well, not to worry! The sessions will be available until June 28, and you’ll be able to access those recordings any time you choose to host.

FOR MORE INFORMATION: VISIT OUR “BE THERE” SIMULCAST PAGE, OR CONTACT ME AT HEATHER@SETAPARTGIRL.COM!

SISTER OF THE COMMON LIFE: Meet Ella FINLAND / COLORADO

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ELLA, SHARE A GLIMPSE OF YOUR JOURNEY WITH THE LORD OVER THE PAST FEW YEARS. . .

When we held our precious newborn little baby son in our arms January last year, my husband and I knew we wanted to name him Elijah. It means “The Lord is God” and to us it is a statement of His faithfulness and the unwavering rock that we stand upon. When God called me to sing for His glory and write consecrated music unto Him, His invitation and “job description” for me was bright and clear: to prepare the way for the Lord. Jesus became the Lord of my life at the age of 23 and it’s been a beautiful but sometimes quite difficult journey learning to understand His mind, and hear His voice especially in the area of music. I was born and raised in Finland and have a past in the secular music industry in the USA, but for years I was chasing and lusting after the things of this world like fame and “success”. Music had become my identity and my whole self worth was wrapped in it. Since my awakening and dedicating my Life to the Lord, He took me into a period of 5 years of laying down my gift at His feet, not knowing at all whether I was ever to pick it up again. Accepting this was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to say “YES” to! He was building a foundation and pruning my branches. In the meantime I had married my husband Matt and we were living in Perth, Australia. One day God spoke both to my husband and I, separately yet the exact same thing, that it was time to start

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singing again. We started to pray for God to bring along co-workers with hearts and visions alike. Of all places, He eventually brought us to Windsor, Colorado. Looking back it’s just amazing how He has orchestrated every little detail and answered our prayers and yearnings. We are launching our media and music ministry this year here in Colorado. (And the pruning still continues, by the way!) “There is a way that appears right to a man, but in the end it leads to death” has been a verse that the Lord has taken me through many times. Saying “ YES” to Jesus most often leads to discomfort in our flesh, but joy will soon follow. Whether He has asked me to say “yes” to a humble serving opportunity in a complicated church setting, or to say “no” to something famous and successful in the world’s eyes - He is and always will be faithful. There are treasures hidden in the darkness every time we choose the narrow way.

WHAT DO YOU DO (SPIRITUALLY AND PRACTICALLY) TO MAINTAIN A CHRIST-CENTERED APPROACH IN YOUR MUSIC? Prayer is such a key! I need to stay real and honest before the Lord at every turn. It is not about me, it is all about Jesus and His glory alone. I need to be aware of the desires of my flesh with the longings of recognition that can so easily take over. Sometimes I feel like Frodo Baggins carrying the ring. I guess if I was to wake up one day and say there is no battle anymore - that would be the day I’d lose the battle. I am nothing but a pen in a hand of our great big God and knowing this keeps me very humble. In a live singing or worship situation my prayer is simply to not stand in His

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way...I want to have such intimacy and closeness with Him that I can hear even his smallest whisper and direction from Him of how to worship Him. This is my desire in every aspect and situation in my life. Most of the time I feel very unworthy of ministering through music or leading His people in worship, but God is so faithful and He does choose to use the foolish things of the world sometimes :)

Ella will be sharing her beautiful music at this year’s Set Apart Girl Conference, June 6-7 in Windsor, Colorado. Click HERE for details!

SHARE A BIT ABOUT THE DAILY ADVENTURE OF YOUR LIFE AS YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND RAISE YOUR CHILDREN TO LOVE THE LORD. We love our children, everyday is indeed an adventure with our three little ones running around. Even though it seems a bit chaotic sometimes, we try our best to always maintain an atmosphere of worship in our house. We long for our home to be a place where the Spirit of God dwells - filled with laughter and the joy of the Lord. As challenging as it is, Matt and I desire to represent Jesus through our lives to our children in every circumstance. We have a daily devotion as a family where we read the Bible together and talk about Jesus. Esther, 5, usually has a question that Daddy answers using the Word. We sing and make up songs with Bible verses and we pray together. Parenting is such an amazing and high calling. Seeing the little ones resolving a conflict or changing an attitude due to realization of needing to pray and apply the Word of God is truly amazing and so rewarding as a Mommy who longs for my little lambs to learn to love and recognize their Shepherd’s voice.

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AS A BUSY MOM AND WIFE, WHAT ARE SOME PRACTICAL WAYS THAT YOU PURPOSE TO DRAW NEAR TO GOD?

If Jesus isn’t the source of my strength and joy, my days can turn upside down pretty quickly. There certainly are days that I lack those ideal uninterrupted ‘closet’ times with God. Like the famous story of Susanna Wesley, I’ve also learned the art of throwing the apron over my head. He is always faithful to meet me and multiply our sweet times together. I like to scatter Bibles around the house so when I get the chance to sit down I can be refreshed by His word. I sing hymns and worship songs all the time, and I could just spend hours on my piano praising Him. He inhabits in the praises of His people. My girls, Esther (5) and Annabelle (3) love doing crafts. Usually they like writing Scriptures on their masterpieces and sticking them on the walls which I’ve come to love as I have constant reminders of the promises of God around me, made by precious little hands. Listening to anointed worship music or a great sermon while cleaning up is always helpful too. I want to have the attitude of praying without ceasing and have that channel open to heaven continually, so that by His Spirit I can quickly recognize if I’ve fallen in to negative thinking or self-pity in the midst of the challenges of everyday life. God is so faithful and His Spirit does lead in an amazing ways, guiding me how to pray and fight against the enemy. For example, He has taught me that even if I’ve had the most wonderful and fruitful day one of the big battles starts usually 20 minutes before my husband comes home from work. I suddenly start to feel exhausted and frustrated and unless I’ve had my armor on, my

poor husband comes home to a grumpy, ready to collapse-onthe-couch kind of wife. Praying together as a husband and wife is such a vital part of our marriage and our days in general. Seeking the Lord and His ways, praising Him, interceding for others together keeps us united, focused, and so close together. My husband is a prayer warrior, so I know that him laboring in prayer for me and the children every single day brings strength and power into our days.

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“ HE IS AND ALWAYS WILL BE FAITHFUL. THERE ARE TREASURES HIDDEN IN THE DARKNESS EVERY TIME WE CHOOSE THE NARROW WAY.”

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the

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the place where Leslie shares the latest cute stuff the Ludy kiddos are saying and doing

Photos by: Mandy Saeler ÂŠ 2014 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. This magazine contains material protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No part of this magazine may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without express written permission from Leslie Ludy and Set Apart Girl â&#x201E;˘.

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Kipling (age 5)

He started his “very first business” this week! Inspired by his older brother’s “Rock Toys” company (in which he uses pebbles from our backyard to design rock toys “sets”). Kipling created a custom-order Rock-Toy business, where you go down to his room, write any kind of Rock-character you would like to order, place any amount of money into a jar on his desk (even pretend money is accepted), and within 15 minutes you will have your custom order delivered to your bedroom. He’s quite an efficient little worker and is beaming with pride over having his very own company!

Hudson (age 9)

He has written a collection of illustrated stories which are actually quite good! One of them has a little boy daydreaming about various things he wants to be. “I wish I could be…a pirate!” (picture of the boy dressed as a pirate) Then, “I wish I could be…a king!” (picture of the boy dressed as a king). Then, “I wish I could be…an elephant!” (picture of an elephant with the boy’s face). Then, “No! I want to be… (lift the flap to see the next picture) “Me!” (Maybe it’s just me, but I think this sounds like a children’s book that would actually be published today!)

Harper (age 7) After visiting a friend who raises Bernese Mountain dogs, Harper’s new dream in life is to become a dog-breeder and raise puppies! She has a little pouch of money with about $3 in it, which she is saving up to start her very own “doggy shelter”. (If I thought having little Gracie was a challenge, I’m not sure I’m ready for a whole herd of doggies on the Ludy property! But we will see what God does with Harper’s love for animals!)

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Avonlea (age 4) The most hilarious conversation I have had with Avy in a long time went something like this: AVY: I wanna grow up and have kids, but I don’t wanna get married. ME: Why not? AVY: Because I was at this place one time where two people were getting married, and it took so long and I just had to stand there and stand there. So I don’t wanna get married cuz it takes too long. ME: Well, you can have a short wedding if you want. AVY: But how do you know what guy to pick? ME: You ask God, and He will show you. AVY: You mean you don’t choose a guy but you pray and God tells you in your heart what guy to choose? ME: Well, yes,…kind of. AVY: So you were living with Nana and Pops, and you didn’t marry Pops, but you chose a guy named Pastor Eric? ME: Right, but his name wasn’t Pastor Eric back then. AVY: Well, when did you name him that?

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TEAM RECOMMENDATIONS

GraceRecommends:

I Come Quietly to Meet You: An Intimate Journey in God’s Presence by Amy Carmichael I had never heard of this book until a couple months ago, and I have to admit that I’ve read it several times through since then. It is a wonderful compilation of little gems from all of Amy Carmichael’s other books, combined with prayers written by her at the end of each chapter. At a point in my life where there are a lot of unknowns, a lot of physical pain and daunting diagnoses, I have found so much encouragement in the way the author so gently and simply points the reader straight back to Jesus. Even in the midst of her own trials--illness, pain, physical danger, need, disappointment--Amy Carmichael shares truth so succinctly and guides those around her into a deeper love for their King.

MandyRecommends:

Father ten Boom: God’s Man by Corrie ten Boom When I recently read Father ten Boom, I was gripped from cover to cover as I encountered the aroma of Christ in the testimony of Casper ten Boom’s life. Written with honesty, openness, and family-style warmth, I felt as though I traveled to Holland and spent an evening in the ten Boom’s parlor. Together, we opened the trunk of old journals, photos, and letters and marveled as we gained an aerial view of God’s faithfulness through the generations of their family. And together, we remembered Father ten Boom - a faithful follower of Jesus Christ, tender husband, invested father, loving grandfather, and honest watchmaker of Haarlem. Witnessing this man’s life left me hungering for more of Christ in my own life, and imparted a fresh vision of Christ-centered manhood, building a godly heritage, and our God’s enduring faithfulness!

IN THE NEXT ISSUE: Feelings vs. Truth: Which Matters More? The Dangers of the “SELFIE” Trend Single Women in Ministry, Part 2: Exploring God’s Pattern Heroic Women of Christian History: the Amazing Story of Gladys Alyward

“MERCY IS NOT SOMETHING GOD HAS, BUT SOMETHING GOD IS.” - A.W. Tozer