Mumsnet Baby

ISSUE 1

BABY HOW TO SURVIVE LIFE WITH A NEW BABY

by parents for parents

8 need-to-know tips

Get more sleep

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Y

ou’re holding in your hands the very first issue of Mumsnet Baby magazine.

Thank you for picking us up and having a look; we hope you’ll like what you see.

Unlike a real newborn, we’re not going to cry at you, make you exhausted, or be sick down your shirt. The aim of this magazine - the aim of Mumsnet overall, in fact - is to make your life easier.

Ever since I started Mumsnet in 2000, it’s been a place where parents come to swap tips and tricks, pool their knowledge, ask for help, offer comforting shoulders to cry on, and keep each other entertained. We’ve grown into the UK’s biggest network for parents, with millions of users having conversations about pretty much everything you can think of (not all of it child-related, by any means).

In this issue we’re giving you a whistle-stop tour of the hottest topics and most strenuously stress-tested advice for new parents, from the unvarnished and sometimes surprising truth about pregnancy (pg 6) to the best tips for soothing a newborn (pg 53).

We’ve got refreshingly honest insights, hard-won wisdom, unavoidable truths, and jokes for the times when it’s a toss-up between cackling hysterically and bursting into tears.

If working at Mumsnet teaches you anything, it’s that parents are a pretty astonishing lot: resilient, driven, fierce, resourceful, supportive, and extremely funny. We also know that you’re a tough crowd to please, so do let us know what you think about Mumsnet Baby and tell

Photographer: Toulouki Orsini Website: www.touloukiandsimone.com Instagram: www.instagram.com/toulouki_and_simone

us what you’d like us to include in future issues.

Dylan Bammeke age 6 months Layla Randle-Conde @ilikecardigans on Instagram

Justine Roberts, Founder and CEO

Got your cup of tea and a couple of biscuits? Let’s go...

Images: Shutterstock Disclaimer: No part of Mumsnet Baby Magazine may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted to any form without permission. Views expressed in the magazine are not necessarily those of Seven Star Media Ltd, and are included to provide advice only. No content is a substitute for professional medical advice. During printing, images may be subject to a 15% variation. © Copyright of content belongs to Seven Star Media. All rights reserved. Please either keep this magazine for future reference, pass it on for somebody else to read, or recycle it.

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Mumsnet | by parents for parents 3

made with natural ingredients

peach, mango, banana & apple

FOR BABY

Contents PREGNANCY 6

Eight unexpected truths about expecting Surprising facts about being pregnant - from the weird to the wonderful

10

Your guide to pregnancy What to do and what to look out for, trimester by trimester

12

Say hello to nausea-free days Could ice lollies be the answer to morning sickness?

15

Pack your bags - are you hospital-ready yet?

What to put in your hospital bag for you and your newborn

19

Twelve things to do in the last days of pregnancy How to keep yourself occupied in the final days before birth

22 Carb your enthusiasm The food you should - and shouldn’t - be eating during pregnancy

BIRTH

Things to consider when choosing your companion for the big day

months, and what you can do to help them along

34

REVIEWS

How to survive life with a newborn The tried-and-tested tips you need to know

38 Lack of shut-eye causing you grief?

From breaking the pre-bed phone habit to breathing techniques to try 40 “By the time they were finished, I had 45 stitches inside and 35 outside” 11 years on, Karen Reekie is still dealing with her traumatic birth experience 42

Making good postnatal care a reality for all Our campaign to see what must be done to improve post-birth support in the UK

BABY 46 All you need for frenzy-free feeding Advice on how to feed - from starting breastfeeding to sterilising bottles

28 “As the anaesthetist strolled in like a rock star, I declared ‘I love you” Vicky Smith’s unfiltered experience of giving birth, second time around

53 Tips and tricks to soothe your baby’s tears How to cope with a crying baby

31

54

Birth-day presence: do you really need a doula or birth partner?

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contents

58

Sleep easy - maternity pillows Pregnant and desperate for a good night’s rest? We’ve got you covered

59

Struggling to get baby to drop off? The best newborn beds Featuring a fab find from Finland, here are the top cribs on the market

62

On the move - car seats Safety and comfort for your baby when travelling - sorted

64 Sitting pretty Is weaning imminent? You’ll need one of these - see the highchairs that came out top

COMPETITION 67 Win a Storksak newborn bundle worth £395 Enter our competition to win luxury travel essentials for you and your new baby

Milestones that matter - when will my baby smile?

Key moments in those first few

Mumsnet | by parents for parents 5

pregnancy

Eight

UNEXPECTED

TRUTHS about expecting Think you’re prepared for pregnancy? Sit back, (try to) relax, and steel yourself for the cold hard facts that no one else will tell you

W

hen people asked you if you were ready to be pregnant, you laughed.

“Of course,” you said.

You imagined yourself glowing; smiling serenely as you lay on your yoga mat to begin pelvic tilts - a nutritious smoothie (and a big bowl of pasta, just for good measure) an arm’s length away. But as it turns out, pregnancy is one of the world’s weirdest experiences filled with all sorts of surprises - good and bad - that will have you shouting “Why did nobody tell me about this?” Well, consider this your heads-up.

1

You will cry. A lot.

Even more than you think.

Doesn’t matter what it is - you stepped on a crack or there were too many bits in your OJ - be prepared to wail for hours on end.

Heaven help you if an

6 Mumsnet | by parents for parents

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6 Adele song starts playing, or if a Dogs Trust advert pops up on TV. And if you see a pair of tangleprone headphones or a nearlyempty milk bottle, turn and waddle away as fast as you can. Pro tip: bulk buy tissue boxes right now.

2

Eating bananas does not a baby boy make

OK, perhaps this ISN’T that surprising - but you’d be amazed at how many people believe you can sway the odds regarding the sex of your baby. Old wives’ tales might imply that eating bananas will bring you a boy, or drinking gallons of milk makes a girl more likely - but these are just myths.

Your baby’s sex is determined at the moment of conception, when the sperm meets the egg and the baby gets its 23 chromosomes from each parent. What you’ve had for dinner the night before won’t make a difference. As for whether your cravings or the size of your bump will give you an early indication of your baby’s sex? Sorry - you’re going to have to wait for your 20-week scan.

3

Wait, how many weeks?

Many a woman has been confounded, when taking a pregnancy test two weeks after ovulation, by the words ‘3-4 weeks pregnant’.

Huh? This reason for this is that your pregnancy is considered to have begun at the start of your last menstrual cycle - about TWO WEEKS before the sperm even laid its seedy eyes on your egg.

Madness, we know, but that’s how it’s done.

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Pregnant life is a pain

You know when you were imagining what it would be like to be pregnant, and you envisioned a woman radiant with the joy of giving life, stepping daintily through a meadow in a flowing robe of white?

Well, that is not pregnancy - whatever Beyoncé’s Instagram may have had us believe. Pregnancy is morning sickness and heartburn at the same time; pregnancy is tactical (and not so tactical) vomiting. Pregnancy is getting kicked from the inside. Pregnancy can be pain. Sorry.

4

The wind will be a-changing

As in, you’re going to have a whole lot more of it.

Horrifying, nose-wrinkling wind that you’ll be convinced is killing your plants. Wind so bad that you won’t even want to share a bed with yourself anymore. Sometimes, you might even wake yourself up in the middle of the night with it. Honestly.

SUDDENLY, FRIENDS, FAMILY AND RANDOM PEOPLE ARE THROWING PEARLS OF WISDOM AT YOU

5

You’ll dream some of the weirdest things

Got a vivid imagination? Oh dear. You’re likely to find yourself dreaming of purple elephants and floating unicorns, along with sexual escapades with the most unlikely of partners. So if pregnancy wasn’t full-on enough already, you won’t even be able to catch a break while you sleep!

7

Epidurals aren’t as evil as they’re often made out

Go tell nosy Carol from Finance - there’s no strong evidence to suggest that having an epidural makes a caesarean more likely. Not only that, but the injection won’t make your chances of having an instrumental delivery skyrocket. Compared to the 10/100 women who will need an instrumental delivery with no epidural, only 14/100 women will need an instrumental delivery with an epidural. The difference is pretty marginal, so just do whatever you think’s best.

8

Suddenly, everyone’s an expert

“No, no, you don’t want to be eating that while pregnant.”

Well, thank you, total stranger, who I only asked for directions from.

All of a sudden, friends, family and random people are throwing pearls of wisdom at you en masse, whether you wanted them or not. Still, you were like them once - you read a book or two and thought you understood what pregnancy was all about. Now you know the truth - only when you’re in it do you truly grasp the many realities that throw you off your (swollen) feet. And now, more than ever, you do not need Aunt Karen telling you that “eating courgettes might hurt the baby”.

Mumsnet | by parents for parents 7

pregnancy

Mumsnet users tell it like it is “Pregnancy is a wonderful thing, and not to be sniffed at. Some find it easy to get pregnant, and for others it’s more difficult, with potential complications along the way. Whatever journey you’ve taken to get here, enjoy it as much as you can, even if you are feeling absolutely terrible.”

Claire Moran

www.thepramshed.co.uk

mumsnet.com

Mumsnet | by parents for parents 9

pregnancy

YOUR GUIDE TO

pregnancy Found out you’re pregnant? Congratulations! Find out what’s going on in each trimester, as well as things you should be doing now, and ways to plan ahead

P

regnancy: it’s uncomfortable, wonderful, and weird. There are all sorts of symptoms that you didn’t expect - a minority of women even find that some colours make them feel sick. To keep on top of every twist and turn, here’s your ultimate guide to each trimester.

The first trimester This is where it all begins - starting from the date of conception to week 12.

10 Mumsnet | by parents for parents

What’s happening?

Early pregnancy symptoms can (but don’t always) include: A sharp (but not painful) feeling in your lower abdomen, which may be the fertilised egg burrowing into the womb lining Slight spotting or bleeding, often brown in colour Extreme tiredness, or feeling like you’re coming down with a virus Sore boobs - either a feeling

of heaviness that makes it uncomfortable when you take your bra off, or a tingling sensation in the nipples A dull backache, similar to period pain A slight increase or change in cervical mucus (it’s often thinner and there’s more of it) Heightened sense of smell, or sensitivities to certain smells - coffee is a common one

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A funny taste in your mouth, often described as metallic Suddenly getting spots or, if you usually suffer from skin problems, alternatively having a clear complexion - yay!

Dizziness Flushes Later in your trimester, you may also experience morning sickness (oh joy) and you might feel more emotional than usual.

Body-wise, you might notice that your nipples darken around now.

Planning ahead Now’s the time to start thinking about (and arguing about) baby names, and to consider where you’d like to give birth - whether at hospital or at home, or even a water birth.

The second trimester This period spans week 13 to week 27. It’s the longest stretch - and when it all starts to feel a bit more real.

What’s happening?

Around 18-20 weeks into pregnancy, you will start to feel the baby move - in the early days, these movements should feel like little flutterings. At your 20-week scan, the sonographer will look for any abnormalities, and may be able to tell you the sex of the baby (if you want to know). By now, your symptoms might include:

you want to happen during your labour and birth. This could explore where and how you’ll be giving birth, whether you want to take pain relief (this doesn’t just cover epidurals), and who you’d like to be present. On that note, now is also a good time to figure out whether you’d like a birth partner or a doula - someone you know and trust who will remain by your side throughout labour.

You might also want to pull together a shortlist of baby names (try the Mumsnet baby names finder for inspiration). It’s not long until they’ll be here in person and expecting to be called something.

The third trimester Kicking off at week 28 and (hopefully) ending at 40, it’s the final countdown.

What’s happening?

Well, you’re probably pretty big, for starters. Besides this, you may experience Braxton Hicks (otherwise known as ‘practice’ contractions), and other symptoms of early labour including:

Your bump dropping Heartburn disappearing A sudden increase in toilet trips Feeling a burst of energy Disturbed sleep Mood swings An upset tummy Period-esque back pains

What to do It’s the final push before the first push - at this point, you should think about buying newborn essentials, packing a hospital bag for the birth, and finalising your birth plan.

From around 28 weeks, it’s also a good idea to start making yourself familiar with the baby’s pattern of movements. This is so that, if anything changes in their frequency, you’ll be aware of it as soon as possible and will be able to seek help quickly.

In terms of health checks, make sure that you have an Anti-D injection if you’re RhD negative. You should also make yourself aware of the signs of preeclampsia - a complication that affects 6% of pregnancies.

Planning ahead Where peace of mind is concerned, talking to your birth partner about your expectations can be useful. No one knows exactly what will happen in the event, but being as prepared as possible will help calm your nerves. Practising breathing techniques can also make a world of difference, both in calming you down and in potentially improving the labour experience - as can reading some positive birth stories (see pg28).

Even if it feels like you can’t see anything beyond the hurdle of giving birth, this is also the time to start preparing for the weeks that follow. For example, batchcooking meals for the freezer will make Future You very, very grateful indeed.

Heartburn Stretch marks Constipation Itching Swelling Varicose veins Insomnia Pelvic girdle pain

What to do During this trimester, you should attend your 20-week scan, shop for maternity clothes, visit the dentist (it’s free!) and - if it’s winter - have a flu vaccine. If you work, think about your plan for maternity leave, and consider having one last baby-free holiday.

Planning ahead This is a great time to start thinking about a birth plan - that is, a record of what

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Mumsnet | by parents for parents 11

pregnancy

Say hello to

nausea-free DAYS

Sick of feeling sick? Check out our remedies - they could help you feel a lot less icky in the mornings

T

here are lots of things to enjoy about pregnancy. Your boobs get bigger, napping is guilt-free, and you have a great excuse not to take out the bins. But morning sickness can put a dampener on things, and it can take its toll pretty quickly.

Alas, there’s no one thing that can stop your nausea outright, but there are a number of popular treatments that can help reduce the worst of it.

Tried-and-tested shout-itfrom-the-rooftop remedies: Make sure you get all your forty winks A good night’s sleep makes everything more bearable - even if it means banishing a snoring partner to the sofa.

Plenty of fluids - sip drinks

slowly and frequently

Another basic rule: drinking

12 Mumsnet | by parents for parents

lots of fluids (and water in particular) keeps a healthy body ticking. And now that you’re pregnant, you’ll need more hydration than ever before - it’s essential for transporting the necessary nutrition to your baby. Health professionals have suggested that pregnant women drink 10 cups of water a day - or even more if you’re exercising or soaking up the sun.

Eating little and often -

choose plain foods that are high in carbohydrate but low in fat It’s suggested

that nibbling throughout the day is preferable to three big meals - keeping your stomach in a consistently settled state is better than than waiting, tummy rumbling, for a heavy dinner.

Cold, bland food is best, as well as plain vegetables and fruits.

Spicy foods might not make you feel so great - even if they don’t make you feel sick, they can sometimes cause heartburn.

As for greasy carbs, as much as you might want them, they’re likely to make you feel worse in the long run. We know, pregnancy is hard.

Acupuncture could be the answer Needles, ugh! Except these ones have been proven to significantly reduce the nausea experienced in pregnancy. A millennia-old Chinese medical tradition, acupuncture works by stimulating certain points of the body to help with pain and discomfort.

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pregnancy

Travel sickness wristbands Remember your mum giving you these before a long car journey?

If so, you’ll know that they function by applying pressure to the wrists. The effects aren’t guaranteed in everyone, but many women find they subdue feelings of nausea.

Ginger - the biscuit variety, or as a tea Ginger seems to help with digestion, and is a pretty well established means of combating stomach aches and nausea. So go ahead and fill up a big tin of gingernut biccies.

Sucking on ice or ice lollies First biscuits, now Calippos maybe this pregnancy malarky isn’t so bad after all. The discovery of this one has been a game-changer for many women, especially as it also helps keep you hydrated.

Vitamin B Important for general health and wellbeing, vitamin B supplements could also make your morning sickness a lot easier to deal with.

Fresh air - take a walk or sit outside A gulp of fresh air is a glorious thing when you’re feeling nauseous. Get outdoors for a breather when you’re feeling queasy, or sleep with the window partly open.

What to eat (and what not to) OK, so a greasy pepperoni pizza might be off the menu (sob), but what other foods are helpful to avoid or aim for? Your body will tell you what you do or don’t feel like eating, but here are some general suggestions:

Bland, non-greasy foods that are easy to prepare Plain carbs such as pasta, rice, bread and potatoes Snack on crackers, oatcakes or digestive biscuits Foods high in zinc: seeds, wholemeal bread, small amounts of eggs and red meat Avoid smelly and spicy foods Eat cold meals rather than hot ones - hot foods have stronger smells and flavours which may make you feel even sicker Avoid drinks that are very cold, sour or sweet Try flat fizzy drinks to settle your stomach Fruit or herbal teas like peppermint tea Sorbet or ice lollies will help to keep you hydrated

Mumsnetters on dealing with morning sickness “Try to eat before you start feeling nauseous - having a snack next to your bed for when you wake up can help” “Wear loose clothes so nothing digs into your waistline” “Do food shopping online if going round the supermarket makes you retch”

Show me the meds Distract yourself Easier said than done, we know. Nothing makes an ailment worse than thinking about it constantly.

Divert your attention with a film, a walk, or by looking at cat memes.

If only for a moment, it might take your mind off the nausea.

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If you’ve tried natural remedies, including diet and lifestyle changes, and your nausea and vomiting is severe, a doctor may recommend a course of medication that is safe for use in pregnancy. It’ll probably be an anti-sickness medication (antiemetic), or an antihistamine.

COLD, BLAND FOOD IS BEST Work it out It can be difficult to navigate the worlds of pregnancy and work, not least because of morning sickness. However, if you’re experiencing it to a degree that’s affecting your ability to work, remember that you’re entitled to take some time off. Your employer should respect this and be supportive.

If you feel that you’re able to continue working, you might nevertheless want to let your employer know so that they can make adjustments - they’re legally required to, in fact, in order to protect your health. For example, it may be that you need easier access to a toilet, or a desk not so close to the kitchen (and the smell of someone’s leftover curry).

Mumsnetters’ advice for coping on the job “Keep nibbling throughout the day” “I used to wear travel bands under my shirt” “Speak to your manager and see if you can work from home - it won’t help the nausea, but you’ll be more comfortable and relaxed”

Mumsnet | by parents for parents 13

Sleepy little angels!

Every healthy lifestyle requires a good night’s sleep. This is true of both adults and babies.

Helping baby have a good night’s sleep will turn help you have an active and healthy day. You can start this cycle with a good bedtime routine, follow these simple tips from ASDA Little Angels.

1. Relax baby at bathtime - ASDA Little Angels have range of bedtime bath protects including bubbles, shampoo and washcloths.

The aroma from ingredients of lavender and chamomile help baby relax.

2. Give baby a massage. Giving baby a massage using ASDA Little Angels bedtime Massage Mist can calm and soothe baby, make them relax and set them off ready to sleep while feeling the bond of mum or dad.

3. Plus size nappies. Plus size nappies have extra absorbency to keep babies bum dry throughout the night. Asda Little Angels Comfort & Protect Plus Sizes last up to 12 hours giving you and baby a better chance of a peacefull sleep.

pregnancy

Pack your

BAGS

are you hospital-ready yet?

Packing can be tricky at the best of times, but it’s never as puzzling as when you’re about to give birth. Suddenly, you find yourself stuffing a suitcase for a human being you haven’t even met yet - it’s like the most complicated surprise trip ever

W

hen it comes to labour, who knows exactly what will happen? It’s an unpredictable business, and the only thing you can do to feel ready is to prepare as much as possible.

Packing a hospital bag is a great place to start, but does yours contain everything you might need?

Do you have…?

The essentials Your birth plan Your maternity notes An old nightie/T-shirt to give birth in Bottle of water with a sports lid Snacks (you could be there a while) Hair clips or bands to keep your hair out of your face Dressing gown Maternity pads and old knickers Toiletries Baby clothes

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Everything for your labour and birth

Cereal bars (or other individually wrapped snacks) Flip-flops and a dressing gown Some spare socks - lots of women get very cold feet during transition A couple of things to pass the time in the early stages (like a magazine or an iPad) Your own pillow (if you want it, and the hospital are OK with it) Towels

Birth ball Essential oils, massage lotion Spray bottle to spritz your face during sweaty moments TENS machine, if you’re using one Lip balm for dry lips if you’re using gas and air A hot water bottle for soothing backache

Mumsnet | by parents for parents 15

pregnancy

Things for after the baby’s born Another nightie to wear if you stay in - front-opening is best if you’re intending to breastfeed Maternity pads, breast pads, nursing bras and some big knickers Toiletries Phone and charger A camera, if your phone doesn’t have one Plastic bag to put dirty clothes in

hospital. Secondly, it’s just a good idea to have it all in one place, so the midwives can find everything with ease.

How much am I allowed to pack in my hospital bag?

Hospital bag FAQs When should I pack my hospital bag?

Be prepared and pack your bag four to six weeks before your due date, and ask your birth partner to pack one as well.

What sort of bag should I use?

What the baby needs

Nappies and nappy sacks Baby wipes Muslin squares Bodysuits and baby vests (three of each - just in case) Blanket A baby hat (aww) Scratch mitts Socks or booties (double aww) Car seat

What your birthing partner needs A comfortable outfit and shoes A change of clothes Swimwear if they want to get into a birth pool with you Plenty of snacks and drinks Camera, phone and charger

16 Mumsnet | by parents for parents

Long story short, try to keep it to a minimum. Given that it’s all a bit of a guessing game anyway, you don’t want to go in overladen - especially as the hospital will probably provide some things that you’re perfectly entitled to use. Some will give you nappies, for example - just remember to check what they will and won’t provide in advance.

Don’t forget, either, that your partner, mother or some other reliable soul can simply pop out and buy something for you if necessary.

Definitely not your favourite Michael Kors. Go for something practical and compact in which it’s easy to find everything - a small holdall or a rucksack would be great. Pro tip: a similar-sized one for post-birth can stay in your car boot until you need it.

What do I pack in my hospital bag for a planned caesarean?

If you’re having a planned C-section, make sure you take your hospital notes, some loose-fitting clothes to go home in, high-waisted knickers to wear after birth that won’t rub on your caesarean scar, and flip-flops or slippers and slip-on shoes. Don’t forget to also bring a bottle of water with a sports lid, extra pillows (possibly a breastfeeding pillow), and some maternity pads, as you’ll still experience bleeding after birth.

Do I still need a hospital bag if I’m having a home birth?

Yes. Firstly, there’s always a chance that you’ll end up transferring to

Hospital packing tips from Mumsnetters who’ve been there “Choose a dressing gown in a dark colour. You never know if you’ve had a leak and you don’t want to be traipsing round the ward with a big stain.”

“Don’t forget to bring something for your midwife because, once she’s delivered your baby, she’ll be your new best friend.”

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FOR BABY

pregnancy

12 THINGS TO DO in the last days of pregnancy 4 Get your tidy on

Waiting for your precious first born to arrive and unsure what you should be doing? Well, get as comfy as you can, because we’ve got all the must-dos - practical and selfindulgent - for those final days of pregnancy

1

Stay up late, wake up late

Who said pregnancy wasn’t a rave? Go on - crack out your dancing shoes and party like you’re in Ibiza and it’s 1999...

OK, so maybe throwing shapes while heavily pregnant isn’t the best plan. But do relish the fact that your time is yours alone by staying up as late as you like. You don’t have to be walloping clubbers on the dancefloor with your bump - you could enjoy a few midnight mocktails, or head to a late-night dinner without a care in the world.

Then, on the back of your wild night out, luxuriate in a lie-in. Once your newborn’s here, these will be a distant dream.

2

3

Let’s face it, you won’t be doing any cleaning when the baby gets here. But before you celebrate, consider how much you’ll appreciate having a nice, orderly environment to (not) sleep in.

It’s also astounding how many things someone so little will need, so take this chance to declutter. Ferry the old off to your local charity shop to make room for all the new.

Ready, steady, batchcook

Do you know what Future You will say if you start batch cooking now? “Thank you,” she will say, “thank you, thank you, thank you”. With a newborn in your arms, thinking up meals and cooking them will be quite the challenge.

So, from cottage pie to veggie chilli, rustle up whatever you can manage and bung it in the freezer. Or, if you’re no Nigella, stock up on a stack of ready meals - just keep them varied so you don’t get totally sick of pizza.

PRACTISE SAYING “THE KITCHEN’S OVER THERE, MINE’S MILK NO SUGAR,” FOR WHEN GUESTS COME OVER AND YOU’RE GASPING FOR A CUPPA

Practice makes perfect

Even if you’ve read ALL the parenting books, nothing is the same as actually doing it - whether that’s the fine art of burping, or changing a wriggly newborn. So the next time a close friend or family member mentions needing a break from the kids, put your hand up and volunteer to help out. Then, hope that a similar offer will float your way once they’re born.

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Mumsnet | by parents for parents 19

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5

Set visitation hours

“Hello, I know you must be exhausted at the moment, but can I pop round for three hours to say hello to Baby and also gossip about my neighbour’s garden?” Er, no Auntie Deidre, you can’t.

Set out boundaries when it comes to visits (especially in the first week or so). Although it’s lovely that your friends and family want to support you, it’s a good idea to let them know now that you’ll need lots of quiet time, so everyone’s on the same page.

6

Get your order down to a tea

Practise saying “The kitchen’s over there, mine’s milk no sugar,” for when guests come over and you’re gasping for a cuppa. Even better if you can reduce it to a signal everyone will understand - making a ‘T’ with your hands might be pretty effective, if also a teensy bit annoying.

7

Just keep swimming

Take a trip to the pool and splash away any back pain - swimming is great when you’re heavily pregnant, because the water supports your body and puts less pressure on your back.

Having said that, it’s probably best to avoid butterfly stroke (unlikely, we know), and also frog-leg moments (like in breaststroke) if you’re suffering from pelvic pain.

8

Pick up the phone

Got some old friends you haven’t spoken to in donkeys’? Well, those donkeys might have had foals and those foals will all be grown up before you know it. Make the most of the time you have now and give them a quick bell.

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9

R-E-L-A-X

And do it now, because life’s about to change forever. Languish in this blissful stretch of time by doing nothing other than lounging around. Nothing, that is, apart from lying in the bath.

Not sure you’ll be able to relax?

Light a candle, put on a face mask, and chuck some cucumbers on your lids. It never fails.

10

Have a movie night

Go to the cinema, and be transported to a world of mystery, excitement, and beautiful people. It can be pricey and logistically tricky once you have a child (surprisingly, they’re not so good at sitting still and quiet in the dark), so enjoy your solo film trips while you can.

11

Have an evening of bubbly

No, not that type of bubbly - the soapy, bath-y kind.

Enjoy a good soak while you have

the chance, because - for the next six months at least - you’re likely to be interrupted by ‘waaa’ the minute you set foot in the tub.

12

Stock up

Take this time to stock up on your favourite snacks and boxsets - ideal for when your newborn has a growth spurt and you’re on the sofa for a week, feeding round the clock (note: this happens at around six weeks).

Downton Abbey? Not too shabby.

Box of Smarties? Now that’s a party.

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pregnancy

Carb your enthusiasm Because when you’re pregnant, healthy eating is more important than ever. You’re not eating for two (sorry) - but you do need to consider how what you’re putting into your body will benefit both you and the baby. Here’s what you can chow down on without worry

A

positive pregnancy test means many things: among them, that you can now eat copious amounts of cheddar in the name of ‘cravings’. But here’s some food for thought: pregnancy can also play havoc with your appetite, and it will vary from one new mother to the next. For many, an insatiable hunger might soon give way to feelings of nausea, causing you to you wave away even the most delicious of desserts.

It’s normally in the second trimester that your appetite will start to even out, but it might not be till the third before your appetite increases again.

Even then, you actually only need an extra 200 calories per day (the equivalent of a pitta with a dollop of hummus, a bagel with cream cheese, or half an avocado).

So not four cheese toasties and a cherrytopped sundae, then? Damn it.

Fabulous foods to eat while pregnant Here are a few dietary musts to give both you and your baby a nutritious fix.

When planning your next meal, aim to include at least one item from each of the following four groups: Fruit and vegetables You know, getting your five a day and all that jazz. But it’s particularly important right now, because fruit and veg is packed

22 Mumsnet | by parents for parents

full of fibre, minerals and vitamins. Sadly, fruit pastilles definitely don’t count.

Carbohydrates Forget the no carb diet - consider this your perfect excuse to go all out on everything from bread and potatoes to breakfast cereals, pasta and rice. Carbs are fantastic for giving you energy as well as vitamins and fibre - especially the wholewheat alternatives.

Protein It’s absolutely key.

Try to work several proteinpacked foods into your day - these could include lean meat (which must be cooked thoroughly), fish, beans and pulses, and eggs. Meals like bean chillies and prawn curries (swoon) are perfect.

YOU ACTUALLY ONLY NEED AN EXTRA 200 CALORIES PER DAY (THE EQUIVALENT OF HALF AN AVOCADO) That said, you do need to tread a little carefully when it comes to which cheeses you’re eating. Mould-ripened soft cheeses, blue cheese and goat’s cheese all need to be avoided - essentially, any of those with a high water or mould content. This is because they may contain a type of bacteria called listeria, which can be harmful to your baby.

All hard cheeses are safe to eat in pregnancy - although it’s technically possible that they could contain listeria, the risk is considered to be very low. Many soft cheeses are also fine, provided they’re not mould-ripened and are made from pasteurised milk. Always check the label to make sure.

Dairy Good news for you dairy queens out there. Cheese, milk, yoghurt and other dairy products are all great to eat while pregnant - containing both iodine (important for your baby’s developing brain), and loads of calcium - an essential component in helping bones and teeth grow. Feta’s never tasted better.

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What about if you’re veggie, or vegan?

Just like Phoebe in that episode of Friends, some veggies suddenly find themselves craving meat while pregnant.

Whether you’re looking lustfully at a shepherd’s pie or are just as satisfied with your hummus and halloumi, you’ll definitely need to eat some alternative sources of iron and vitamin B12. Try some of these for a boost of iron:

Dark green vegetables

(cabbage, spinach, kale) An excellent source of Vitamin A, C and K, getting your greens has never been so crucial.

Pulses (chickpeas, lentils, kidney beans) You might love them, you might hate them, but there’s no denying how healthy these precious peas and beans are. Bursting with low-fat protein, pulses will also give you an injection of iron and zinc, as well as the B vitamin folate.

Wholemeal bread Sorry if sliced white was life, from now on it’s all about the whole wheat.

Made from the whole kernel of the wheat grain, a loaf of wholemeal bread is packed

with fibre.

counterparts. However, stalwarts like muesli are a pretty safe bet.

High in fibre and whole grains, a bowl of muesli also comes with an impressive iron content.

Dairy alternatives Eating dairy products will give you a handy injection of vitamin B12, as will soya milk, yoghurts, veggie burgers and yeast extract. If you don’t eat dairy, it’s vital to ensure that you’re getting enough calcium in other ways - something worth discussing with your doctor or midwife. In the meantime, here are a few suggestions: Green, leafy vegetables

Calcium-set tofu Pulses Bread (white and brown) Soya, rice and oat drinks Dried fruits

AS A VEGGIE OR VEGAN, CHECK OUT OTHER SOURCES OF IRON AND VITAMIN B12

Mumsnetters on eating during pregnancy “You’ll regret eating junk food when you realise how long it takes to shift the weight afterwards! This time round, I’m sticking to a healthy diet with occasional treats.”

“Morning sickness meant all I ate was crisps, cereal, doughnuts, chocolate and chocolate milk.

All looks OK at the 20-week scan so perhaps the vitamin pills are balancing out my diet…”

“I keep lots of fruit in the house. My appetite sometimes goes completely for days and I have to make myself eat for the baby’s sake.”

“I normally have a pretty healthy diet which seems to have gone slightly haywire now that I’m pregnant - I crave Kit Kats all day long!”

“My advice is to eat when you’re hungry, and to try to make sure that what you eat ticks all the boxes when it comes to protein, fibre and calcium etc. Also, don’t forget to drink plenty of water.”

Eggs (if you eat them) Another solid source of protein, eggs are rich in zinc, iron, and (good) cholesterol. Excellent.

Dried fruit Snacks like raisins, apricots, dates and prunes are absolutely loaded with fibre, and are rich in iron and antioxidants.

Now if only those tiny packs weren’t so darn expensive.

Healthy breakfast cereals (muesli) Some supposedly healthy cereals have caused a stir by actually containing more sugar than their ‘unhealthy’

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Mumsnet | by parents for parents 23

E M I T D E B G WINNIN BATT LES quiet.

Som etim es we all like a litt le peac e and ked full of nat urally der ived That’s wh y our mo istu ris ers, pac . r calm ing little on es down ing red ients, ARE perfect fo le, the y’r e ev en suitable Th ey ’re so mild an d ge nt pro ne ski n. fo r sen sitive or ecz em aer bedtim es, So if yo u be lieve in calm revolu tio n. jo in the ch ild ren of the ch ildsfarm .co m

birth

Mumsnet users tell it like it is “There’s no ‘easy option’ in birth - each one has its risks.

Personally, I’d make the same decisions again, over and over.

At the end of the day, all any of us want is a healthy baby.”

y Sarah Conve

www.mummyswhineclub.com/the-blog

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Mumsnet | by parents for parents 25

birth

Birth stories

As the anaesthetist strolled in like a rock star, I declared ‘I love you’ Childbirth brings a set of expectations, emotions and experiences unlike anything else. Vicky, 34 and from Berkshire, describes what giving birth to her second child was really like

A

s I had given birth to my first child just over a year before becoming pregnant with my second, I expected this pregnancy to be a breeze.

But the nausea and fatigue hit me particularly hard, and having a toddler to deal with certainly didn’t help matters!

The pregnancy was planned, but I hadn’t banked on a positive test after just a month of trying - my midwife did tell me later that you’re never more fertile than right after having a baby.

I didn’t write a birth plan for my first child, so I didn’t bother this time either.

I wrote down in my hospital notes a few vague instructions about the vitamin K injection for the baby post-birth and that my husband didn’t want to cut the cord - but apart from that I was willing to put myself in the midwife’s hands. I had hoped to give birth in the Holy Grail of places to deliver, the birthing centre at the Royal Berkshire Hospital in Reading.

28 Mumsnet | by parents for parents

Although my labour did start off there, it didn’t finish there, but by that point I was just glad to be in hospital.

IT’S AMAZING HOW MUCH CALMER I WAS THIS TIME I went into labour at about 4am on 7 December 2016. It was a massive relief, because I was nearly two weeks past my due date and had been due to be induced that same day.

I remember waking up with a jump in the middle of a contraction - they came thick and fast, but I tried to bite down on my pillow so that my other half could squeeze out another

hour’s sleep; I was sure they weren’t close enough yet to warrant going to hospital. But they were pretty intense and in the end my fidgeting and grunting woke him up.

I called the hospital just to let them know what was happening, and the midwife suggested I should come in as my contractions sounded pretty close.

It’s amazing how much calmer I was this time. While many, many people had told me this baby would come flying out in half an hour, it didn’t feel like that would be the case.

In fact, I had been hoping to wait it out a bit longer, but in the end, I figured the hospital was the best place to be.

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My hospital bag had been packed about three months earlier, and this time around I was much better organised with what I’d put in it.

I didn’t bother with breast pads (unnecessary until your milk comes in a week later), but I packed more maternity pads than last time, because there had been a lot more bleeding than I’d expected.

I was quite determined to not have any pain relief except for gas and air, as I believe the diamorphine injections I had with my first labour contributed to our struggles with breastfeeding in the early weeks.

The drug can make newborns a bit dopey when they’re born, so it is worth bearing in mind - but I would never say never, because it’s a bloody wonderful painkiller.

Compared to last time, I found it nearly impossible to find a comfy position and to add to that, I felt more out of control with the contractions.

Standing didn’t help, walking didn’t help, kneeling didn’t help and neither did sitting up. My room had a bar at waist height which you could grip on to and I found myself standing and rocking at that quite a bit.

As my waters didn’t break on their own, the midwife used a skinny plastic stick with a hook shape on the end to pop them. The ensuing gush was an odd sensation and the baby immediately dropped downwards, which made walking even more difficult and left me feeling like I needed to wee constantly.

As time went on, the gush continued.

I was bleeding heavily, and as the midwife examined me for a third time in a row, I could tell even she was getting concerned at how much blood was flowing. I was soaking through pad after pad on the bed, and it was showing no signs of slowing.

My contractions were now at a point where I triggered one when I moved even one centimetre and the pain was all-consuming. Finally, the midwife said I needed to be looked at more closely by a doctor - there was just too much bleeding.

So I left the birthing centre and was taken down to the regular delivery ward. I felt zero disappointment at this - I was just desperate for it to be over.

agreement - immediately.

As luck would have it, the anaesthetist was right outside the room at that very moment. As he strolled in like a rock star, I declared “I love you”, despite my husband being within earshot. I would have gladly married him there and then if that’s what was needed to stop the contractions.

MY BABY GIRL WAS PERFECT

A very calm and business-like consultant examined me and reminded me to breathe properly. Seeing that I was not dealing with the pain at all, they ordered an epidural - with my enthusiastic

As he went through the usual spiel of warnings, I nodded along, willing him to just get on with it. Finally, he began preparing the needle. It was almost ready when, without any warning, an urgent need to push came over me - so strong there was nothing I could do to stop it. So I pushed.

Then came the words every woman in labour wants to hear: “The bowels have released”. Oh joy, I’ve pooped in front of two midwives, a consultant and a rock star anaesthetist. Great.

To cap it off, it was then announced it was too late for the epidural, because the baby was coming. I was devastated and just couldn’t see how I was going to manage it. I was so exhausted and in so much pain, I would have happily taken a C-section at that point.

THE PAIN WAS ALLCONSUMING

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birth

Unfortunately for the midwives, it meant they had to really up their game with talking me through the delivery. It took 30 minutes to push the baby out. Thirty minutes of huffing and puffing, and feeling as if I might break in two. I felt trapped, as if I was tied to the bed unable to move.

Every nerve ending was screaming and panic was impossible to fight. The midwife decided to go for tough love with me: “Come on now Vicky, you need to push now, you have to do this.” And so I pushed. When the head finally came into view, the midwife thought it might be motivational for me to feel the head. “Absolutely not,” was my response.

With a big push most of her head came out, then I had to give another little one to clear her nose. With my brain in a constant battle between fight and flight, I screamed through the final pushes, which I’m sure was not at all encouraging for the other women on the ward who still had a few hours of this torture to go through.

I’M NOT AFRAID OF DOING IT AGAIN - I AM TOUGHER THAN I EVER BELIEVED Finally, she was out, here in one piece and I could breathe again. It was 3.30pm. So much for second labours being super-fast - although it was six hours less than my first.

30 Mumsnet | by parents for parents

Weighing 8lbs 6ozs, my baby girl was perfect. I remember feeling so much more comfortable positioning her in my arms, not worrying that she would break like with my first baby.

As before, I have no recollection of delivering the placenta - other than my husband staring at it once it was out and remarking it looked like some kind of weird exploded alien.

The stitches this time did not make me feel quite so squeamish. I had suffered a second-degree tear again but the tugging and pulling of having the stitches put in were a relief compared to what the labour had been like.

I feel that I bounced back from this labour quicker, although on the whole I believe it was more painful.

I was showered and sitting up in a chair about 90 minutes later. As it was late, the midwife suggested I stay - also to check on my blood pressure, which had been high after my previous pregnancy.

Luckily, I only spent the one night there - it’s virtually impossible to rest up on a hospital ward. The staff have to monitor you and your baby regularly and you’re kept awake by your baby, or the newborn in the next cubicle.

Because we were both so exhausted from the delivery, and we already had a toddler at home, we didn’t get around to picking a name until two weeks after the birth. Isabella had always been our favourite though, so when we did sit down it was an easy decision.

Current life is chaotic!

My baby was a terrible sleeper until after she turned one and I went cold turkey on night feeds. Although we get more sleep now, she’s a very adventurous and cheeky little girl, climbing constantly and always wanting to play.

At this point in my life I have no idea if I will ever have another baby, but I know I’m not afraid of doing it again. I’ve definitely shown myself that I am tougher than I ever believed.

Labour day essentials I wish I knew…

“How painful and crippling contractions are. If I have another baby I would definitely try a TENS machine to see if that helps.”

I wish I’d packed...

“A spare pair of pyjamas. I was sick during labour and had to put on a hospital gown.”

I’m glad my partner...

“Stayed totally calm and reassured me when I needed it.”

I’m glad I packed...

“Babygrows - they’re easy to get on and off which is what you need in the first few days!”

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BIRTH-DAY PRESENCE

DO YOU REALLY NEED A

DOULA OR BIRTH PARTNER? When the going gets tough and childbirth gets going, you may find yourself very grateful for a handhold. Your labour day companion can be anyone you choose - but who’s best?

I

T wasn’t long ago that your partner’s first glimpse of the newborn was of a swaddled bundle, dozing happily in your arms (by which point you’d done your hair, applied your lippy and were looking remarkably serene).

Nowadays, partners are more than likely to be down at the, ahem, business end, watching the baby crown and even cutting the umbilical cord. This is great if you both want that - the vast majority do. But if you’ve got any worries about them being there, or they can’t or don’t want to be present, it’s perfectly fine to choose someone else to support you through labour.

Mothers and best friends can often be seen in the delivery room these days but the same advice applies to whoever you’re considering. Some women are the type to share everything with their mothers and lots of grans-to-be are honoured and thrilled to be able to see their grandchild come into the world.

Others can’t think of anything worse than having to see their daughter in pain. And whilst you might love your best friend dearly, if she’s the sort to point out the cellulite on your thighs during transition, there might be

someone better suited to the task. It’s a question of finding the best fit.

Whoever you pick, don’t leave it till the last minute - you might want your partner to come to antenatal classes or at least have a bit of time to swot up on what’s ahead.

I HAD AN AMAZING DOULA AND HER SUPPORT HELPED ME FEEL CONFIDENT

Picking your partner No one will bat an eyelid if the person with you is not your partner. Even if they’d really like to be there, they may be very squeamish or not be able to attend for cultural reasons.

Labour is an intensely personal experience and you need to be able to let your primal instincts take over and focus solely on yourself. You can’t do this if you are worrying your partner is hating every second, is about to pass out or has just seen you poo yourself.

It may be that you’d be better off having a back-up (a friend/relative or doula) on standby who can take over if needs be. If ‘dad being there’ really isn’t right for you as a couple, then so be it. Who cares what the fashion is if it doesn’t work for you? (Remember puffball skirts?)

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An innovative pump that fits in the palm of your hand.

The Medela Freestyle breast pump is a double electric pump with the high level of performance you can expect from Medela. It includes thoughtful features and provides true mobility, freedom and flexibility.

MyMedela App. Download the free app that accompanies you during pregnancy and lactation.

Explore all Medela breast pumps at

medela.co.uk

birth

follow-up visit after birth too, when they can help with things like breastfeeding, general babycare advice, or just making you a cup of tea. Some are also ‘postnatal doulas’ - like a mother’s help but with loads of baby knowledge, too and will come and help you out on a paid hourly basis.

Of course, you don’t have to have anyone there with you when you have your baby, but studies have shown that having the support of a birth partner can make you feel less scared and tired, and can also reduce your perception of pain. It also has been shown to decrease the chance that you’ll need an epidural, have a caesarean or end up with a forceps delivery. Pretty impressive - shame they can’t bottle it, eh?

A birth partner can...

Massage your back Ensure you’re keeping your fluid levels up Feed you glucose tablets Encourage you when you feel like giving up Remind you to keep mobile Pass you gas and air Support your decisions and reiterate them for the medical team Remind you of your breathing relaxation techniques Find anything in your hospital bag at a second’s notice In the case of intervention, ensure you have all the info to make an informed decision

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What does a doula do?

A doula is a (usually female) birth partner who isn’t qualified in midwifery but is a sort of ‘experienced pair of hands’ who can be with you through labour and birth. Having one is a nice idea if you’re worried about how your partner will be at the birth. She can support them as well as you, and could even stay with you while your partner nips out for a nap if your labour is long.

(We know this sounds suspiciously like they’re getting to skive off but trust us - you’ll be glad one of you managed to get a nap in when you get home with a newborn after two sleepless nights in labour.)

What’s included?

Most offer a couple of antenatal classes before the birth to discuss any concerns and talk about what sort of birth you’re hoping for. They are then ‘on call’ for a couple of weeks either side of your due date so you can give them a ring as soon as you go into labour.

They’ll usually do a

I THINK FATHERS SHOULD TRY NOT TO BE TOO VOCAL. MY HUSBAND WAS SAYING THINGS LIKE ‘WELL DONE, YOU’RE OVER THE WORST’ UNTIL I ASKED THROUGH GRITTED TEETH HOW THE HELL HE KNEW As well as the obvious boon of extra help and the added support and care, studies have shown that having a doula can: Decrease the length of first-time labour by as much as two hours Reduce the chances of you needing drugs for pain relief Reduce the chances of you needing a caesarean by up to 50% Prices vary from area to area but the average is between £600 and £2000 depending on area and experience.

You can hire a ‘mentored doula’ (like a doula-intraining) for much less. You can search for a doula by location on www. doula.org.uk/find-adoula

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HOW TO

SURVIVE LIFE

with a newborn

8 TOP TIPS TAKE YOUR BABY TO THE PARK AND ENJOY SOME FRESH AIR

First, they’re rolling around inside you. Now, all of a sudden, they’re out and screaming at you for food. Here’s how to power through those first few weeks

M

otherhood is a beautiful thing. It’s also a very difficult thing - full of nappy changes, vomit on your clothes, and falling asleep face-first into your coffee. In spite of all the preparation that goes on during pregnancy, nothing can truly set you up for waking up to wailing at 2am. And 3am. And 4am. But with collective suffering comes collective experience, and the mothers who know the struggle are your best bet for helping you soldier through these trying times.

Here are their essential pieces of advice…

1

to go a bit mad with the newborn shopping. We’re talking tiny shoes, dungarees, and enough stuffed animals to fill a zoo. However, it’s worth holding fire before you know what your newborn will actually need and use. Otherwise, you might be left ruing the day you squealed over those teeny, unwearable shoes that you bought in every colour, nursing a hole in your pocket and cursing the price of nappies.

the wall. If you don’t know what time it is, you won’t spend the next day groaning about how late you were up last night.

And, psychologically, you might not feel so tired.

2

But do watch the pennies

3

Get out of the house

This can be hard to do in the early days when you’ve got a handful at home and you’re not sure you’re ready for the outside world. But regardless of where you go and what you do, simply escaping the confines of home can do wonders in making you feel human again. Take your baby to the park and enjoy some fresh air, or pop into the nearest child-friendly café and let someone else make the tea.

When the baby arrives (and especially if it’s baby number one), you’ll probably be tempted

Don’t watch the clock

Don’t do it. Not even when you’ve been woken up twice in the dead of night, and you’re gripped with dread just thinking about what time it might be. Is it 1am? 5am?

Oh, God, the plumber is coming over at 10 - what if you don’t get any sleep? What if there’s a zombie apocalypse, and you’ve had so little rest that people mistake you for one of them? Stop the spiral right there, and swivel your alarm clock to face

34 Mumsnet | by parents for parents

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Chances are, you’ll feel a whole lot more refreshed letting yourself back into the house than you did when you stepped out.

4

Plan in advance

Planning, planning, and more planning: with a newborn, it’s the name of the game.

Thinking ahead will save you time and energy in the moments when you’re worn out and frazzled, so pack a changing bag and leave it in the car; make sure that there are enough nappies to survive a ‘poonami’, and pick up some dry shampoo for the days when you just can’t face getting out of your pyjamas. Cooking in batches is also a lifesaver. When things don’t go to plan (as, let’s face it, happens more often than not) don’t beat yourself up.

This too shall pass. Which leads us on to the next survival tip...

WHILE HAVING A NEWBORN CAN FEEL LIKE MISSION IMPOSSIBLE, IT CAN ALSO BE ONE OF THE MOST MAGICAL PARTS OF PARENTHOOD

5

not too infrequent) spells of silence.

There’s going to be a lot of sitting around, so you might as well enjoy it.

6

Enlist some help

Speaking of breaks, don’t be afraid to call on family and friends. Whether that’s for a hand with shopping, cooking, cleaning, or just holding the baby for a minute, the people closest to you will probably be only too happy to ease your new workload. Defy the overly-polite Brit in you and when someone steps in to offer a hand, turn and knock them sideways with a big fat “YES”.

7

Go with the flow

Sometimes it doesn’t matter how many books you read or how many wonder products you buy - things just don’t go to plan. You can tear your hair out over friends who tell you that your newborn should be feeding every three hours, or that by three weeks you should have established a regime. But try not to be too prescriptive about where the chips may be falling - take each day and each challenge as it comes, and don’t doubt the decisions you make about what’s best for your baby. No two people are the same, so why should two newborns be?

TAKE EACH DAY AND EACH CHALLENGE AS IT COMES, AND DON’T DOUBT THE DECISIONS YOU MAKE ABOUT WHAT’S BEST FOR YOUR BABY

8

Enjoy it

“Er, what?” you say, elegantly removing bits of puke from your hair. That’s right, because while having a newborn can feel like mission impossible, it can also be one of the most magical parts of parenthood.

Freak out over their first laugh, tear up at how adorable they look sleeping, and drive your friends crazy by filling your feed with endless baby photos. Watch as people smile and coo at the small, bemused human you made in your belly, and allow yourself to think smugly: “Yeah, I made that”.

Give yourself a break

Because if anyone deserves one, it’s you. If you’re breastfeeding, set yourself up like it’s duvet day on a Sunday (remember those?), line up your watchlist on Netflix and place snacks and water in easy reach. Make the most of the times when you can sit back and relax with your baby on the sofa, and languish in the (hopefully

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Mumsnet | by parents for parents 35

Helping your little one sleep soundly so you can too.

Safe Nights mattresses from the UK’s most trusted bed brand, Silentnight will help your little one sleep soundly and grow healthily through those precious development years. All mattresses contain our Eco Comfort fibre™ which is great for the environment and are foam free for a pure sleeping experience that’s free of nasty chemicals.

The range is made in the UK and has been tested to the highest UK standards, so you can sleep soundly in the knowledge your little one is receiving the support, care and comfort they need through the night.

The little things that make a big difference The Safe Nights nursery accessories collection also complements the mattress range. The collection includes fitted sheets for all different sizes of cots, cribs and moses baskets as well as fleecy blankets, hooded towels and baby sleep bags.

UK’s most trusted bed brand

Handcrafted in the UK

Tried & tested for quality

Sustainable products

Visit silentnight.co.uk for more information

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Lack of sleep

causing you

grief?

HERE’S HOW TO COPE...

E

verybody hears it at least once while pregnant: get some rest now, because you won’t sleep a wink with a newborn.

What you might not have heard is that there are plenty of ways to make your near-sleepless life a bit easier, and to maximise the benefits of the rest you do get. Here’s how to soldier on with your nerves (mostly) intact.

(Also, babies do eventually sleep through - we promise.)

Firstly, how much sleep do I actually need?

You know when you’re pouring milk into the detergent drawer that you need a nap.

Don’t panic - there are steps you can take to overcome the dreaded lack of sleep

38 Mumsnet | by parents for parents

Although some people need more sleep than others, most experts agree that eight hours a night is ideal. While it’s unlikely that you’ll be getting this many hours of kip if you’ve got young children, it’s something to aim for (and sigh over).

What are the symptoms of sleep deprivation?

Besides walking into telephone poles and spooning salt into your tea, a lack of sleep can lower concentration, make decisionmaking harder, and cause your brain to feel

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like a foggy mess. It can also lower your mood and take its toll on your immune system.

Thankfully, most parents find that sleep deprivation is a short-term problem solved when their baby gets into a routine. But for a small minority, a lack of sleep can be a vicious cycle. It can be both a symptom of depression or anxiety, and a cause of those very problems.

Sleeping less than seven hours can also increase your risk of obesity, and can negatively affect your relationships.

COFFEE HAS YOU FEELING MORE AWAKE IN THE SHORT TERM. LONGER TERM, IT TAKES 3-5 HOURS FOR YOUR BODY TO ELIMINATE HALF THE CAFFEINE CONSUMED So what can I do to get more sleep?

You probably won’t solve your sleep issues overnight (sorry), but there are steps you can take to gradually feel more awake.

Don’t obsess Easier said than done but batting away those thoughts about how tired you are can be surprisingly effective. Don’t stare at the numbers on your clock changing from 5:00 to 5:01. Don’t fretfully count how many hours you can get in before needing to wake up. Thinking about how you need to sleep will only make slumber less likely, and obsessing over how exhausted you are will only make you feel worse. Remember that ignorance is bliss - avoid looking at the clock, and take each night as it comes.

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Sleep wherever, whenever you can In the squishy chair at the hairdresser’s; in your friend’s parked car outside Asda, it doesn’t matter - even a half hour here or there can help. And if you can slot some rest into the daytime, you’ll take pressure off yourself to get enough sleep at night.

Kondo your condo Maybe it sounds silly, but your environment really does have an impact on how your body operates. Next time you step into your bedroom, have a think about what you could do to make it feel more restful. What about a dimmer light, some diffusers, or cutting down on clutter? You could also consider investing in a comfier mattress - pricey, but probably worth it.

Say yes to help Even the most proficient parents need to call on family and friends for a bit of assistance. Remember that most loved ones will look forward to occupying the baby for an hour or two, so try not to let guilt stop you from getting the support you need.

Cut out the caffeine “Nooo,” we hear you cry to the heavens. Yes, coffee addicts out there will feel like death at first, but it has been proven that less caffeine equals more deep sleep. Because it’s a stimulant, a cup of joe will only have you feeling more awake in the short term.

Longer term, it’ll take a whopping 3-5 hours for your body to eliminate just half the amount of caffeine you consumed. So the next time someone suggests an espresso, just say no.

Don’t eat cheese at night, or anything else First no coffee, now no more night-time trips to the fridge? Well no one said this motherhood malarkey would be easy. Turns out the ole ‘cheese gives you nightmares’ tale

does have some basis in fact studies have shown links between eating late and experiencing difficulty falling asleep. So maybe save the midnight toast for the morning.

Step away from the smartphone There’s been a lot of press in recent years about how phone screens can wreak havoc with our sleep, and for good reason. The blue light that these screens emit actually reduces the production of a chemical called melatonin, making it more difficult for your body to switch off. Believe us, that wormhole of pictures of dogs in dungarees can wait until tomorrow.

Work it out Whatever method you choose - jogging, cycling or doing pilates - science says that exercising raises your chances of having a good night’s sleep. It also causes the body to release endorphins, meaning that you’ll feel less sluggish and downbeat about a night full of baby wake-up calls.

Try breathing techniques In fact, after you’ve read this sentence, breathe in for 10 long seconds, and then out for another. Feel better?

Although it might sound a bit basic, regulating your breathing has been shown to help combat stress and enable your body to wind down.

Mumsnetters’ advice for coping with sleep deprivation “Eat well and avoid the vicious caffeine cycle” “Take zinc, iron, multivitamins, and get to bed by 9pm” “Get plenty of fresh air”

Mumsnet | by parents for parents 39

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BY THE TIME THEY WERE FINISHED I HAD 45 STITCHES INSIDE AND 35 OUTSIDE Eleven years on, London-based blogger Karen Reekie is still feeling the fallout of her traumatic birth experience. Here, she recounts the lasting physical and mental effects of that ordeal, and asks why more isn’t done to support new mothers

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hen my waters broke at 38 weeks, I was being monitored for preeclampsia due to high blood pressure. I was admitted to a ward and told that “it will be a while before you deliver this baby, we’ll keep an eye on you,” and my husband was sent home.

In actuality, it wasn’t long before I was having painful contractions every 10 minutes or so. I called my husband to come back, despite the midwives insisting that I wasn’t really in labour. I was eventually moved into a labour room and examined - and yes, I was in labour and my blood pressure was rising.

I had an epidural and this, combined with medication for my blood pressure, helped to calm things down. I could see that I was having contractions on the monitor, but could feel nothing. I slept and dozed for about seven hours.

40 Mumsnet | by parents for parents

A lack of control When the contractions became much more frequent, the doctor decided that it might be time for me to star t pushing. I couldn’t feel to push, so the midwife would watch the machine, and then tell me what to do when a contraction came. I had no pain, but I also had no control.

An hour or so later, I started to make a huge effort to push, but something didn’t feel right. They told me to keep pushing, so I did. Then I was told to stop. I tried, but at this point, all I felt was this massive desire to push and - with what felt like a wave - the baby started to come out. She was face-up, and her arm was up by her face. As she came out, she basically ripped me open because of her arm position and the speed at which she emerged.

She was fine.

A blood vessel inside my vagina had been lacerated as she was delivered however, and I had what was almost a fourth-degree tear from front to back. There was a lot of blood, and the placenta was not delivered.

My baby was taken from me and handed to my husband as I was whisked down the corridor and into theatre. One of the doctors explained that I was losing a lot of blood from the damaged blood vessel and, despite medication, my placenta wasn’t coming out. I was given a full nerve block, so I was numb to the neck, and a surgeon appeared and started to work on my ravaged nether regions and stubborn placenta - which they had to extract manually.

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birth

IT TOOK 18 MONTHS FOR MY PHYSICAL WOUNDS TO HEAL; MY MENTAL HEALTH WAS IN PIECES It was horribly intrusive. They dealt with the bleeding vessel, then they repaired my perineal tear. I had 45 stitches inside and 35 outside by the time they were finished. It took three hours.

WITH WHAT FELT LIKE A WAVE, THE BABY STARTED TO COME OUT Mental and physical scars I was wheeled into recovery to an ashen-faced husband, who had literally been left holding the baby.

The next two days and nights were spent heavily medicated. I struggled to feed the baby, and had to call for help a lot.

Three days later I was sent home virtually unable to walk with the pain, and unable to sit or lie comfortably.

I was also utterly traumatised emotionally, and the beginnings of anxiety and postpartum depression (with which I would later be diagnosed) were starting to surface.

It took 18 months for my physical wounds to heal; my mental health was in pieces. It hurt to sit, to pee, even to try and poo. I spent six months taking laxatives so that I could at least go to the toilet without agony. I struggled with urinary continence, and my self-confidence was shattered. I had to see a specialist gynaecological physiotherapist to help heal and retrain my body.

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trauma is real, and it’s not just about a few stitches and some pain relief and then getting on with life. It damages women, and I’m convinced that it contributes to why many of us struggle with our mental health and relationships after the physical wounds have healed. I was offered no support, no counselling, no comfort, and no recognition that giving birth almost broke me. No woman should have to deal with that.

No support What I went through tore me apart, physically and emotionally, and I don’t feel that anyone really acknowledged what happened had damaged me mentally.

More than 10 years later, I still have physical scars and lingering issues. I have flashbacks too - what should be filled with happy memories and moments of joy, is instead a space filled with pain, lingering fear, and memories of people digging inside me whilst songs from a Queen album played in the background.

I can’t change what happened, but I would change the way my traumatic birth was handled afterwards. I think there is an attitude that women should just put up with the damage and trauma that happens to them during birth. To me, that’s wrong.

Yes, I’m grateful I am alive, yes, I’m grateful to have my beautiful daughter, but birth

BIRTH TRAUMA IS REAL, AND IT’S NOT JUST ABOUT A FEW STITCHES AND SOME PAIN RELIEF

Mumsnet is campaigning for better postnatal care, and rare cases like Karen’s show why this is so important. Turn over for more on the campaign.

Mumsnet | by parents for parents 41

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MAKING GOOD

POSTNATAL CARE

a reality for all

Understaffed postnatal wards, patchy support for infant feeding, painful birth injuries and ravaged pelvic floors… over the years, thousands of Mumsnet users have called for Better Postnatal Care

On postnatal wards Our survey of more than 1,200 women who’d recently given birth in the UK showed that many had difficulty accessing basic amenities on the postnatal ward.

61% had been unable to access food when they needed it

45% had been unable to access pain relief when they needed it

22% had been unable to access water when they needed it

19% had been unable to access

washing facilities when they needed them

Bad experiences on the postnatal ward can have shattering effects on women and their families. 19% of women who had a hospital stay say it affected their mental health for the worse, and 20% were frightened for their own or their baby’s wellbeing while staying on the ward. As one Mumsnet user says: “I had a C-section, but I was expected to walk to the day room for breakfast. I was unable to walk at that point, so I did not get fed. On what other ward would it be acceptable to expect patients to walk to get their own food after major surgery?”

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The long-term impact of birth injuries Our survey of women who gave birth between 2013 and 2016 revealed how many mothers are struggling with the impact of injuries incurred during birth, months or years after their babies were born. We found that:

42% have experienced

continence or pelvic floor problems

More than one-third of mothers say sex is uncomfortable after giving birth

Of those who said that sex had become uncomfortable: Only 4% reported that they had received “great” medical care A further 13% said they had received “adequate” care And the overwhelming majority - 75% - had not asked for or received medical help

What needs to change?

Mothers with continence or pain issues need to feel confident about approaching their GP, nurse or midwife for help, and they should receive good,

What is the campaign?

Mumsnet wants every new mother to receive good postnatal care not just immediately after the birth, but in the long term. Our recent surveys show this doesn’t always happen. We want to change that by drawing attention to the issues and finding solutions. NHS resources are tight, but it’s clear that some hospitals, midwife services and GP surgeries nevertheless manage to provide brilliant care. What are they doing right that other services can learn from?

sympathetic care. No woman should be told ‘that’s just what happens when you have a baby’ The NHS needs to reinstate regular checks on women’s health after birth to ensure that everything has healed well and is working as it should Every new mother should be offered postnatal physio. Many long-term problems can be avoided if they are tackled early

Reasons why women stop breastfeeding Almost three-quarters of new mothers in England start breastfeeding after birth, but around half stop within six weeks. Our survey in 2017 tried to find out why.

Among women who had initiated breastfeeding but had stopped by six weeks, top reasons for stopping included:

“The baby wasn’t latching on properly”: 56% A painful latch, or a latch that makes your baby fussy and unhappy, is miserable for both of you “I was worried I wasn’t producing enough milk”: 42% One of the tricky things about breastfeeding is that you can’t see how much is going in

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birth

“Breastfeeding was painful”: 39% Some women find that breastfeeding is pleasant and easy right from the start, but sore nipples are common in the early days “I was overwhelmed/exhausted and something had to give”: 34% We hear you. After all, you’ve just given birth and you’re probably exhausted

Breastfeeding may be natural, but it’s not always easy. If you find breastfeeding really difficult, you are NOT alone. We think proper, skilled breastfeeding support needs to be made available to any mother who needs it.

Just 8.5% of a woman’s total maternity care budget is spent on her postnatal care Up to half of women who have given birth will experience some degree of pelvic organ prolapse

8 shocking facts about postnatal care

64% of mothers experience sexual problems six months after giving birth 90% of women tear while

3% of women are faecally incontinent 10 years after giving birth

42% of mothers say they’ve experienced problems with continence or with their pelvic floor 75% of mothers for whom sex has become uncomfortable do not ask for or receive medical help 34% of women who tore during birth or had a caesarean say they did not have adequate care for the surgical wound or injury in the weeks following

Join our campaign So many mothers have told us about experiencing less-than-brilliant postnatal care - but we know that some hospitals and community services are getting it right. As one Mumsnet user said: “I had a very stressful pregnancy and a fairly traumatic birth. The postnatal care was very thorough and included debriefs on all the problems I experienced. Follow-up care for both my daughter and me was excellent and really helped me recover mentally as well as physically. We had a very positive experience.”

Postnatal care needs to be like this for every woman. We want to campaign for practical changes that will make postnatal care good for every mother.

Are you in?

You can tweet your thoughts at us @MumsnetTowers with the hashtag #BetterPostnatalCare, post on our Facebook page at facebook.com/ mumsnet, or email us at campaigns@mumsnet.com

giving birth

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Mumsnet | by parents for parents 43

baby

Mumsnet users tell it like it is “Take each day as it comes. Embrace slow days. Relish the cuddles and the newborn baby smell (oh the smell!). Cry the crazy tears. Allow yourself to be taken care of, so that you can take care of your new little bundle.�

rke Georgina Cla

www.georginaclarkeblog.com

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Mumsnet | by parents for parents 45

baby

BREASTFEEDING 101

getting started with

LATCHING ON Like most things in life, getting off on the right foot (or boob) is half the battle. Here are your need-toknow pointers on settling into breastfeeding…

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rior to having your baby, you might have imagined that it would be a case of latching mini-me onto a nipple, and then letting your new boobs do their thing. Unfortunately, it is often not this straightforward - it’s very common for breastfeeding to be difficult in the early weeks, and plenty of help is available. First though, here’s a run-through of the basics. Also, we all know babies come in two flavours (better known as ‘boys’ and ‘girls’), but for consistency here, we’ll refer to your baby as ‘she’ throughout.

Do some pre-prep before B-day Consider pregnancy your time to swot up on feeding. Take a read of the infant feeding boards on Mumsnet, where thousands of women have, over the years, asked for advice or offered support. You could also consider taking a class and look into where and when your local breastfeeding drop-in clinics are.

Get plenty of skin-to-skin time Skin-to-skin contact is crucial in making your baby feel safe and comfortable, and has been shown to help enormously in encouraging them to breastfeed. Try to feed them as soon after birth as you can within the hour is best.

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baby

Bring them to the breast, even when there’s no milk

How to tell if your baby is latching on

Your milk won’t come in for a few days, but you should still bring your baby to the breast in order for them to learn how to feed. This will also stimulate the production of your milk.

Once your baby has latched on, she’ll be able to suck in a strong, rhythmic way that will stimulate your milk to flow freely and you will feel a deep pulling in your breast. Your baby’s bottom jaw will move rhythmically as her tongue stimulates the breast ducts to release milk, while the top jaw will remain still.

Get comfy before a feed Make sure your back is well-supported and you have everything you need (phone, water, TV remote, pack of digestives etc) close to hand. Both you and the baby need to be nice and comfortable for the greatest chance of success.

Find the right position On that note, what are the best positions for a brilliant breastfeed? Try one (or all) of these:

Laid back - support yourself with pillows, and have your baby lying on top of you in a tummy-totummy position.

Cradle hold - cradle your baby across your lap, supporting her using the arm on the side that she’s feeding from. Rest her head in the crook of your elbow, and let the rest of her lie on your hand.

Bring her towards your breast, rather than leaning forward.

Rugby hold - put a pillow next to you on the side you want her to feed from, and tuck her body beside you (her hip to yours) under your arm. Support the head with your hand and guide her to the nipple.

The koala hold - for babies that can support their own heads.

She should be held sitting upright with her legs wrapped around you, like a koala.

Lying down - lie on your side and place her body parallel with yours, tucking a pillow behind her for extra support.

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How to make sure your baby latches on For a good latch, your baby will need to open wide and take a large mouthful of breast tissue - including most of the areola. Your nipple should touch the roof of her mouth, and should be far back inside it.

If she doesn’t automatically open her mouth to feed, try stimulating it by placing your finger on her chin, or rubbing your nipple on her mouth or nose. The smell will encourage her desire to feed.

Some mums also try to express a tiny amount of colostrum (the name for your milk at this stage) into their baby’s mouth.

An incorrect latch It’s never fun - potentially causing you pain and stopping your baby from getting milk. If you’re experiencing difficulty, try facing your baby’s body towards you so that she doesn’t have to turn her head, and tuck her in as close as possible so that her chin touches your chest and her nose is above your nipple. If that doesn’t help, ask your midwife or GP for advice.

An inability to latch may mean that something is wrong - for instance, your baby might have tongue-tie so it’s always a good idea to get it checked out.

When breastfeeding isn’t going well If sorting out your latch and positioning wasn’t enough, you may also have to contend with breastfeeding thrush, mastitis, cracked nipples, engorgement and then getting through growth spurts. While you’re waiting for it to all come together, here are a few things to remember: It’s worth having a go - Even if you’re

pretty sure breastfeeding isn’t for you, consider giving the first feed or two. This is because your colostrum will be jampacked with antibodies and all sorts of goodies that help to stabilise your baby’s blood sugars, line her gut and generally ease her introduction to the world. Lovely.

It gets easier - So don’t worry too much.

Breastfeeding can be hard, especially in the early weeks, but many women who’ve done it say that if you can manage the first six weeks of breastfeeding, the following weeks/months/years are a comparative doddle.

Breastfeeding support where to go

Your midwife or health visitor

Local breastfeeding support group

mumsnet.com (especially if it’s 1am - there’s always someone online who’s been there)

Handy hints from mums who’ve been there “Air your nipples as much as possible and get some Multi-Mam compresses.”

“Change feeding positions. Lying on my side was a godsend - the latch didn’t hurt so much then.”

“Learn from your own body and milk supply, and from the baby they’ll give you visual clues. With mine, if their hand was very close to their mouth, you knew they were hungry.”

“Start with low expectations.

I think people have unrealistic expectations - then, when they’re not met, they assume something is wrong.”

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FORMULA FEEDING? ADVICE TO HELP YOU AVOID

F

bottle bewilderment

or a lot of women, baby plus bottle makes the ultimate duo - read it and weep, Batman and Robin. But you might be left scratching your head as to how you should be doing it. How many bottles should you get, you might ask, and what exactly do you do to keep them clean?

Don’t worry - we’ve got you covered.

Stock up early Newborns are a thirsty bunch, and feed around eight to 12 times a day, so having a few bottles to hand is a good plan. That way, you won’t be slaving away making sure that you have a clean and sterilised one for the next round.

Time is short enough with a newborn, and we can all agree that the less time spent washing up the better.

Get the right size Four-ounce bottles are fine for newborns, but as a baby grows, so should the bottles. Once your baby is older and feeding every three to four hours, you’ll need six to eight bottles, holding eight ounces each. That’s unless you’re planning to ‘mix feed’

48 Mumsnet | by parents for parents

(which combines both bottle feeding and breastfeeding) - in that case, you won’t need as many.

YOU CAN GET THE READY-STERILISED INDIVIDUAL BOTTLES TOO - EXPENSIVE BUT BRILLIANT Keep them sterile Before you start, you’ll need to make sure that you wash the bottle out with hot soapy water - making use of the bottle or teat brush to get rid of any dried-on milk.

All parts of the bottle will need to be as clean a whistle, including the teat and formula scoop. After this is done, go ahead and do one of the following:

Boil your equipment Submerging bottles, teats and everything else in a pan of boiling water for 10 minutes, making sure that everything is completely covered with water. (Just FYI: teats are more prone to damage using this method.)

Use sterilising solution Available in either tablet or liquid form. Read the manufacturer’s instructions, and dilute it in cold water as directed.

Steam sterilise Using a microwave or an electric steriliser - a big winner if you want to quickly sterilise all your equipment in one go.

Most are able to take up to six bottles - but they do take up a fair bit of space on the worktop or in the cupboard.

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On your marks, get set, go!

When your baby gets to the age where they are non-stop moving, you don’t want to stop them in their tracks to put on a nappy!. This is the perfect time to make the move from nappies to pants. ASDA Little Angels First Pants are ideal for quick and easy change time for wriggly babies.

They pull up effortlessly and have easy-tear sides for swift take-offs, so in very few quick simple steps baby can be away again!.

The cute Peppa Pig design is an extra bonus which can keep the little mover distracted.

The benefits don’t stop there; once on, the pants are made with super soft elasticated side cuffs giving baby plenty of freedom to move without leaking. Once they’re moving, keep them moving as active babies make happy, healthy babies.

SOUNDS WEIRD, TASTES WONDERLISH

Be the first to try AdeZ. A wonderful blend of seeds and fruit that actually tastes delicious.

3 flavours, 3 sources of vitamins & minerals.

Safe • Effective • Natural

Pediatrician tested.

No parabens, phthalates, petrolatum or sls.

Now available at Copyright © 2018. Burt’s Bees. All rights reserved.

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40째 39째 38째 37째

0-3 3-36 36+ Months

Normal

Elevated

High

baby

TIPS & TRICKS

to soothe your baby’s

tears

A bawling babe can be enough to drive any adult to the verge of tears. Well, dry your eyes, because the sob stories end here

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verybody warned you about it. Your mother, your partner’s mother, that stranger in the checkout queue. Your baby is going to cry a lot, they said. Wave goodbye to a good night’s sleep and a shot at peace and quiet, they said. Well, it turns out they were right, and now it’s 5am and the baby hasn’t stopped crying all night - what are you going to do?

First thing’s first - it’s important to ask…

Why (oh why) is my baby crying?

It could be hunger, it could be tiredness; it could be that she wants a cuddle, or that she’s too hot or too cold. Basically, babies can sometimes feel like the needy partner from hell. If the crying continues even after you’ve done everything possible to make her feel better, take a deep breath and try to...

Weird out your neighbours Namely, by directing some soothing sounds at your bundle. Rhythm and repetition are key when you do this, because babies find comfort in anything that reminds them of your heartbeat (and, in turn, of being in the womb). Hence low, repetitive sounds should be your aim. You’re going to find yourself saying “shush, shush, shush” on repeat to echo the sound of being in the womb, and the louder you say it, the more likely it is to calm your baby. Who knew?

If all else fails, leave the noise-making

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to your household appliances in the form of a humming vacuum cleaner or a rumbling washing machine - or to white noise via an app or an Alexa.

WE HAD TO JIGGLE OURS ABOUT A BIT BEFORE HE’D FINALLY BURP AND CALM DOWN Turn to the tub Run a warm bath (for the baby, not for you - although do hop in if you feel that’ll help).

Calming, warm waters may be enough to settle your baby down, especially if she generally responds well to bathing. Just make sure that it isn’t too hot or too cold - a bath of the wrong temperature will only make matters worse.

could also try putting her in the pram and rocking it up and down the hall.

Allow her to suck Many babies find comfort in having something to suck on - whether in the form of your (clean) finger or knuckle, or a nipple if you’re breastfeeding. Buying her a dummy is another option, but not all parents want to go down this route, for fear they’ll face another battle further down the road when they try to stop their child from using it.

Send her out the door With you as well, obviously. Getting out and about, even if it’s just into town for a walk around, can be endlessly helpful in giving your baby something else to focus on (and for you). And while unleashing your wailing child onto the public might put you in the way of some narrow-eyed, please-make-it-stop looks, feel free to stare them down - a mum’s gotta do what a mum’s gotta do.

Rock-a-bye baby’s tears Rhythm really does reign here. Have a go at rocking your baby - either while sitting down or as you walk around the house. If you haven’t got a baby swing or a bouncer, you

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Milestones that matter WHEN WILL MY BABY SMILE?

Every parent looks forward to the moments that mark their baby’s first year. From sudden smiles to first words, here’s a rough timeline of when you can expect the good stuff

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ut don’t get the diary out yet - some babies work to their own timetable - and that’s OK. Not all children are the same (particularly if your baby was premature), and no amount of watching for that first smile will make it come any quicker.

A sight for new eyes From her first day out in the open, your baby will be able to see objects within 20 to 30cm of her. This means that she can see your face when you’re up close and feeding her - although she’ll only be seeing you in black and white (and blithely unaware of your blotchy cheeks and purple eye bags).

Initially, she’ll tend to be drawn to light sources and movement. It may seem as though her eyes are wandering or even crossed sometimes, as she’ll only be able to hold her gaze for a few seconds.

By the time she’s four weeks old, she’ll be able to focus and hold her gaze for longer, and may start moving her head from side to side to follow movement. She won’t get the hang of moving her eyes rather than her whole head, however, until eight weeks.

And come five months, the world will be in glorious technicolour.

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Silly voices help During the first few weeks, you can help stimulate her vision by talking to her and - yes - by making lots of silly faces and noises. All those seemingly daft sounds you hear mothers making actually have a purpose: helping to focus her eyes on the source of the sound and improve her coordination. Who knew?

six weeks, although some babes might not flash a grin until they’re closer to 12 weeks. These ‘responsive smiles’ occur as a reaction to stimulation, such as your voice or a funny noise.

Silent nights

Smile and smile alike

It’s the all-important question: when (oh when) will my baby sleep through the night?

From four months old, your baby will start to sleep for longer stretches. Then, by the time she’s six months, she might be sleeping for six to eight hours a night without waking for a feed.

When you smile back, it encourages your baby to hold the smile for longer, and soon enough, you’ll be able to see her eyes ‘smiling’ too.

You can encourage her responsive smiles by talking, singing, and playing with her. By six months, most babies will smile when they see people they know or hear sounds that they recognise.

Say cheese If there’s any moment in life when you’re entitled to leap around whooping, it’s when you see your baby’s first smile.

Unfortunately, it might not mean that she’s happy to see you. Most babies will smile randomly from birth, even if there’s nothing to smile about. These ‘reflex smiles’ are spontaneous smirks that pop up - yes, because of wind, or for no real reason at all.

The genuine smiles start from about

Having the first laugh As with smiling, your baby’s first giggles will tend to be reflexive and come from nowhere. Not that this means you can’t bask in the cuteness - in fact, you cooing and laughing back will encourage her to keep giggling. From about four months, she’ll be laughing in response to things - whether that’s a silly voice, a sound, tickles, or a particularly hilarious joke you just told.

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MY BABY FIRST LAUGHED AT AROUND 12/13 WEEKS. HE HAD UNCONTROLLABLE GIGGLES OVER ME RUSTLING A PLASTIC CARRIER BAG FUNNIEST THING ON THE PLANET APPARENTLY As she gets older, she’ll laugh more at specific things that she finds funny, and you’ll see her personality develop.

Baby steps Your baby will begin their journey by rolling over, usually starting between two and four months. It’ll be a wonderful (and surprising) moment for you both the first time she does it, but be vigilant that her new skill doesn’t land her in trouble.

By three to four months, she’ll also

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be able to hold her own head up. From there, you can begin supporting her to sit up using tummy time and (if possible) a nursing pillow.

At six months, most babies can sit for a few seconds propped up or by themselves, but stay close by - she’ll be wobbly at first, and you may need to catch her from toppling sideways.

When it comes to crawling, most babes start some time between six and 10 months (although some actually skip this stage). Crawling styles vary - she might do the traditional crawl, heading forwards on all fours, or she might shuffle along on her bum, inadvertently go backwards, or crab-crawl sideways.

Standing should be happening from nine to 12 months - you can encourage this by placing her toys on a low surface, enticing her to stand and reach for them (just lay out some cushions to break her fall).

Some babies are able to walk by their first birthday, although it can happen between nine and 16 months. She’ll be unsteady at first, but your encouragement is key.

Talk to me Between six and seven months, she’ll start using her lips and tongue to make monosyllabic sounds like ‘ba’ or ‘da’, and will build from there. Once she’s said her first proper word, she’ll begin to add others to her vocabulary starting with things she knows like ‘cot’ or ‘bottle’.

Her first clear word will probably be uttered around the time of her first birthday.

They’re always listening Spooky, but true. You can help your child’s language development by talking to them, and by using full words as opposed to abbreviations or nicknames.

Don’t worry if they’re approaching one and are keeping schtum - some children take a bit longer to get words out. If it’s still an issue at 16 months, ask your GP or health visitor for a check-up.

Mumsnet | by parents for parents 55

Newborn nappies, where do you start?

When you have a newborn baby, you want to do everything to give them the best start in life and there are so many tips, advice and methods that it can be overwhelming! One thing you can get off your list is choosing which newborn nappy to use.

ASDA Little Angels have thought about what is best for babies and parents so you don’t 1. Soft material - newborn skin is super sensitive have to: so you want a nappy that is soft against baby’s delicate skin. ASDA Little Angels are the first own-label nappy brand to be accredited by the Skin Health Alliance.

2. Wetness indicator - you will want to avoid disturbing a sleeping baby. Nappies with wetness indicators can show you if baby needs changing or can be left to sleep soundly.

3. Affordable - Nappies will need changing often when baby is first born, nappies that don’t break the bank are a big help.

4. Waist elastic - Newborn’s lie on their back for

a lot of the time so runny poo can often creep up their back. Nappies with waist elastic can help prevent a lot of mess!

5. Umbilical protection - for the first couple of

weeks baby has added sensitivity around the umbilical cord, a nappy with a contoured front will stop baby being irritated.

reviews

PREGNANCY AND NEWBORN ESSENTIALS

Tried and tested so you don’t have to.

The scores are in - but how did we decide them?

S

ince 2000, Mumsnet users have been helping to make their fellow parents lives’ easier, and that includes giving trustworthy advice on their biggest purchases. So, when it came down to picking products to be put forward for the Mumsnet Best accolade, where else to look but Mumsnet Talk?

We scoured the forums for the highchairs, car seats and other essentials that parents all over the UK were raving about - and then began the process of real-life testing.

Unlike other product reviews, we use a single expert who looks at every products within a category, so they can make like-for-like comparisons between each one.

This standardised approach, together with the fact that we put each product through its paces in every possible real-life scenario, means we’re confident that our testing is truly exhaustive.

HIGHCHAIRS We analysed each chair for safety, stability, durability and practicality - taking no prisoners.

We dropped trays onto a hard surface over 20 times to see if they splintered or showed any signs of distress, as well as testing whether the chair could be easily toppled by a child. We also tested how easy the chair was to assemble, and whether it was a faff to adjust its height. After this, we considered how easy it is to keep the chair clean - including whether it can survive our favourite spagbol-stain test. And if the blurb says it’s dishwasherproof or machine-washable, we double-checked that too.

NEWBORN CRIBS Every one of the newborn beds was thoroughly trialled for one week and tested for its safety, stability, ease of assembly, day-to-day usability, cleanability, aesthetics and value for money.

Our tester’s baby slept in each product for at least seven days and any accompanying fabrics such as sheets or bedding were always washed in the same way and on the same wash cycle.

MATERNITY PILLOWS All of our pillows were tested by one second-time mother - meaning that we were able to compare the products against each other, as well as minimising factors which could impact our results such as different body shape, aches or sleeping habits. The pillows were extensively tested over a period of one week (including both overnight sleeping and daytime resting), and were also tested on a sofa.

There, we considered both how much space they took up and how they looked. The pillow covers were also judged on their durability, appearance, how they washed and how easy they were to fit back on. Then, we weighed up their price, comfort and whether they’d have any longevity beyond pregnancy, as well as their weight and ease of transportation.

CAR SEATS We incorporated both ‘real world’ and standardised testing into our trials, thoroughly checking how easy it was to attach and detach each car seat, and how useful and effective each safety feature was. We also tested each for ease of getting a child in and out of the car, attaching to travel systems, adjusting straps and padding, switching from rear- to frontfacing, reclining, and removing carry seats without waking the baby. We analysed the materials used for durability as well as looks studying everything from the attachment to the padding. Lastly, we carried out a ‘comfort and joy’ test - asking how comfortable the children were in the car seat. After scoring the car seats on this criteria, we then added into the equation their price and longevity.

Sleep Easy MATERNITY PILLOWS

PILLOW TALK What’s it all about? Well, like bodies, maternity pillows come in a number of shapes and sizes to allow for individual tastes and needs.

Small C-shaped Pillows - Best for daytime sitting or lounging, these can be used to support your back and neck, placed between the knees when sleeping or resting, or used as a wedge under your tummy when on your side. They

DREAMGENII PREGNANCY PILLOW

£44.99 THE GOOD NEWS We think the Dreamgenii is the best maternity pillow overall. It offers plenty of support without compromising on space in bed, and lets you sleep on either your left or right side. Plus it’s easy to transport and store which is great if you travel regularly.

Its shape is rather unique - a long, supportive pillow attached to a padded back support. You can choose to sleep with the pillow in front - supporting your bump - or at your back, to stop you from rolling over.

The Dreamgenii’s cotton cover was softer and more malleable than others, straightforward to remove and machine-washable.

can also serve as a support for nursing when the baby arrives - particularly useful if you’re recovering from a c-section as it helps take the weight off your stomach and thighs whilst feeding.

later be used for your baby to do tummy time or as a feeding pillow.

Note: these do take up a fair amount of space, so maybe give your partner a heads up (or book them into a hotel).

Large C-Shaped Pillows With this model, you lie in a riding-type position with the pillow hooked between your legs, while the two ends sandwich your body to support head, neck, back, legs and bump. It can

V-shaped Pillows V-shaped pillows are a great in-between option if you can’t decide which of the above to go for. They either support your legs, tummy and head, or can be reversed to aid an aching

THE NOT-SO-GOOD

BABYBUNDLE WIDGEY

The shape takes some getting used to, and the pillow is more geared towards use in the bed than on the sofa. Height, in particular, is a factor - so if you’re on the tall side, this might not be the model for you.

£29.99

SPEC Dimensions: 40 × 10 × 30cm Weight: 998g

58 Mumsnet | by parents for parents

Best overall

back. Essentially, they’re large enough to give you support when sleeping, but are also small enough to use when sitting during the day - place them behind your neck or back.

Other Shapes - There are a variety of other designs out there. Some are wider at one end to support your head, others are L-shaped - and some, such as the Dreamgenii, have their own unique design.

Speaking of which...

THE GOOD NEWS This little pillow offers plenty of support for both your neck and back and is easy to transport - ideal for use sitting at your desk, or during pregnancy-yoga classes.

It’s useful after birth too use it to take the weight off your arms as a comfortable feeding support ,or as an aid when baby’s learning to sit upright.

THE NOT-SO-GOOD The pillow itself could afford to be a little softer. However, some women may find that the extra firmness offers more support.

Best budget buy

SPEC Pillowcase: 100% jersey cotton Dimensions: 60 × 15 × 60cm

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Sleep Easy

reviews

NEWBORN BEDS

Whilst we can’t promise that any of them will make your baby a better sleeper, they might just help ease the transition to the land of nod. Featuring a bargain from Finland, a nifty 4-in-1, and possibly the most versatile crib ever, these are the dreamiest cots (and boxes) for your new baby

SLEEPING EASY - WHAT YOU NEED TO BEAR IN MIND Where you put your baby to sleep is hugely important, and it’s a source of anxiety for many new parents. The crib needs to be free from the risk of collapsing, and to be made of a material that doesn’t catch fire easily. The crib should also be:

Firm

Entirely flat Waterproof Made from breathable materials Beyond safety measures, there are a few other points to consider before you buy. Does the idea of co-sleeping appeal to you, or would you prefer your baby to sleep separately and

further away from the bed? How much money do you want to spend, and do you want a crib that will stand the test of time, and could be used for further children? Do you have room for a bedside or standalone crib, or do you need something smaller, or something portable?

Whatever your individual needs and budget, there’s a crib out there for every new babe.

THE ALL-ROUNDER SNÜZPOD2 3-IN-1

THE GOOD NEWS

£195.95

An excellent choice for parents who’d like to co-sleep and be closer their baby, the SnüzPod2 3-in-1 scored full marks for comfort and safety.

The cot can attach to any bed (even divan and ottoman types) using straps, which are easily connected. You can adjust the height of the cot to match your bed, so you’ll always be able to pull it snug against your mattress. We found there was no danger of the cot falling or tipping, and for safety, the rocking motion is not available in side-sleeping mode.

The mattress (included) is made of a luxurious quilted fabric, and the cover is washable.

As well as being a co-sleeping side cot, the SnüzPod can also be used as a standalone crib or as a bassinet. This versatility proved really convenient, with

Best overall

our tester appreciating being able to move it easily into the living room. The cot, can be rocked gently, which is a nice touch that our tester’s baby loved.

THE NOT-SO-GOOD It’s not cheap - especially if you go for all the tempting add-ons. Starting at nearly £200, the price is hiked higher by the purchase of accompanying accessories - for example, the baby bedding (£35), or the handy side pocket (£20), which enables you to store some bedside essentials.

SPEC Suitable from: Birth to six months Dimensions: L100 x D42 x H95cm

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Mumsnet | by parents for parents 59

For when nature needs a helping hand Adding Colief ® Infant Drops to baby milk is a natural way to ease colic symptoms caused by lactose.

Nothing is harder than watching your baby suffer with colic when you can’t do anything about it. Fortunately there’s a natural way to help. Colief® Infant Drops contain natural enzymes to help break down the lactose in milk, making it easier to digest. Simply add a few drops to your baby’s usual milk, either expressed breast milk or formula milk. It could save you from switching to special formula milks. Discover Colief® Infant Drops - it’s Nature’s way, but faster!

INFANT DROPS

www.colief.com or ask us for advice on:

Mums know to call on Colief

®

0800 0281187 Colief® Infant Drops are manufactured by Crosscare Ltd., The Herbert Building, The Park, Carrickmines, Dublin 18, Ireland. For more information go to www.colief.com

reviews >> continued from the previous page

THE BEST BANG FOR YOUR BUCK THE BABY BOX

FROM £70 THE GOOD NEWS Inspired by the world-renowned Finnish model, and complete with a custom-designed package of clothing and practical items for your baby, the Baby Box is certainly not your run-ofthe-mill newborn crib.

It’s available in a range of prices varying from £70 to £250 depending on the contents. In our opinion, the best for a budget buy is ‘The Original Baby Box’ option, which costs £115. This model comes with: mattress, mattress cover, fitted sheet, muslin swaddle, soft toy, two baby vests, a luxury blanket, nappies, and a sleepsuit.

The box is cosy, safe, and super secure, and can handily be used for storage once your baby has grown out of it. This makes the box both spaceeffective and environmentally-friendly, while its unique, innovative design makes it a fabulous new baby gift.

Best budget buy

THE NOT-SO-GOOD While it’s great for the price, this will not feel like a luxury product especially for parents who prefer the idea of their baby sleeping in a bed with legs.

SPEC Suitable from: Birth to six months Dimensions: L70 x D43 x H28cm

EASY SLEEPING KNUMA HUDDLE 4-IN-1 CO-SLEEPING CRIB

£219.95 (PLUS £30 FOR THE MATTRESS) THE GOOD NEWS As the name suggests, this crib can be used in four ways: as a bedside crib; a standalone crib; a removable bassinet; and then, when it’s no longer needed as a crib, it can be converted into a child’s desk and bench that’s suitable up to 12 years. Nifty, right?

Handily, the crib has 10 height settings and can be adjusted to slide in neatly beside pretty much any bed. It can reach a maximum mattress height of 70cm - one of the highest out there. This is especially good if you’re breastfeeding, as having your baby within arm’s reach makes a huge difference to the ease of night feeds.

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It’s also nice to be able to see your baby through the mesh panelling without even having to raise your head.

Meanwhile, the crib’s detachability means that your baby can be brought to nap in any room of the house, so you can keep her close by as you get on with your day.

Beyond all of this, we also had no worries about comfort in this crib - the mattress was lovely and soft, and the baby loved snuggling into it. What’s more, the neutral colour options mean that it blends into a range of rooms and colour schemes.

Of the highest quality, this crib looks great, and we found it very easy to assemble. It has the potential to become a modern classic in the baby market.

THE NOT-SO-GOOD Once again, the only possible downside is the price. But since this is an option that will last

Best for longevity longer than just a few months, it’s probably a worthwhile investment.

SPEC Suitable from: Birth to six months, then up to 12 years as a desk Dimensions: H98 x W48 x D89cm Weight: 20kg

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reviews

On the move

Confused by car seats? We’ve got you sorted - with our favourites WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT CAR SEATS Before we dive in, it’s important to understand the two types of car seat regulations: R44, and R129 - also known as i-Size.

R44 was retired in January 2018, and i-Size regulations are now mandatory in Europe and the UK. And while car seats manufactured under R44 are still safe and legal, new i-Size car seats are your best choice.

Another phrase you’ll come across while looking for seats is ‘Isofix’, but what is this? Essentially, Isofix exists to make installing your car seat easy and quick - it’s an international standard system, also known as the ‘International Standards Organisation FIX’ (try saying that three times fast). Car seats with Isofix have two arms or connectors on the back of the seat, and these hook onto small metal bars attached to the frame of your vehicle securing it into the chassis of your car without requiring you to use a seatbelt.

CAR SEATS FOR BABIES COME IN TWO OPTIONS: COMBINATION CAR SEATS FROM BIRTH

PROS:

These last longer than carry car seats and can be a good investment - some coming with Isofix included in the price tag. They can also be rear- and forwardfacing, when the time comes.

CONS:

The size categories are Group 0/1 (birth to 18kg - around age four) and i-Size infant and toddler seats (up to 105cm), although some are suitable for much longer.

They’re big and heavy - designed to stay in your car the vast majority of the time. So if your child will be travelling in more one than car regularly, you may want to buy two.

INFANT CARRY CAR SEAT

CONS: PROS:

These last up to 85cm. i-Size is not age-specific, but generally you’ll use an infant carry car seat until your baby is around 15 months old.

Highly portable, and you can move your baby from car to pushchair without waking them (but check the compatibility before you buy).

These only last until around 15 months. They can also be expensive, especially if you opt for the Isofix base, too.

62 Mumsnet | by parents for parents

RECARO ZERO. 1

£399

THE GOOD NEWS Our overall winner of the Best Baby and Toddler Car Seat 2018 is the Recaro Zero.1. Fantastically functional, this seat can be used in the rear-facing position for up to 4.5 years - much longer than most of its competitors. Another standout feature is its swivel, which allows you to turn your baby to face you as you strap her in. The swivel is 360 degrees so works in both forward- and rearward-facing mode.

Meanwhile, the Zero’s HERO safety system ensures that straps can’t be wriggled out of. The memory foam padding of the seat is luxuriously deep and moulds to fit your child - we actually felt a little jealous as the kids drifted off to sleep!

The seat is attached using Isofix, making it easy to install and reassuringly safe. There’s even a helpful set of safety indicators on the foot support so you can see whether the Isofix base is locked in correctly and the foot support safely attached.

THE NOT-SO-GOOD At £399, it’s one of the pricier models. Then again, it’ll last until your child weighs 18kg (aged three to four), so we think it’s a worthy investment.

Aside from that, we did find it quite heavy.

Best overall

SPEC Suitable from: Birth to 105cm tall (approx. three to four) Weight: 17.9kg Dimensions: H68 x W46 x D70cm

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reviews

Best value for money

TOP VALUE FOR MONEY JOIE EVERY STAGE

£180 THE GOOD NEWS This nifty seat has 10 recline positions, and attaches using either a three-point seat belt (front- or rearfacing) or with the seat’s Isofix base, (front-facing only). It adapts to your child at each stage - from birth to age 12, and can be used in the rear-facing position for a weight of up to 18kg (when your child is around four).

However, you can switch to forwardfacing from 15 months onwards.

The multi-position Guard Surround Safety Panels provide

extra side-impact protection, and with thick padding and strong yet soft fabric, you can tell that this seat was built to last.

THE NOT-SO-GOOD As your child grows, so does the seat. So unless you have a people carrier, we’d recommend measuring your back seat to ensure that the fully extended car seat will fit without blocking your rear view.

SPEC Suitable from: Birth to 12 years Weight: 13.9kg Dimensions: H87 x W51.5 x D52cm

BUILT FOR BABIES MAXI-COSI PEBBLE PLUS

£199 THE GOOD NEWS Light and small, the Pebble Plus is an i-Size seat which attaches either with Isofix, or with the car seat belt.

If using Isofix, the base lights up and beeps to let you know that the seat is correctly installed.

The seat comes with a newborn insert which can be easily added or removed as needed, and the straps are snug and tighten well.

The Baby-Hugg inlay looked and felt supremely comfortable, and the top side-wings make a cosy headrest. According to Maxi Cosi, the seat is made with ‘impact absorbing material’ - designed to protect your baby in the event of side

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impact collisions.

The Pebble Plus scored highly for ease of use, being easy to fit and adjust. Removing the seat was simple, and it’s both great-looking and easy to clean.

Best for babies

THE NOT-SO-GOOD The Pebble Plus has one minor flaw - to remove it from a travel system chassis, the buttons have to both be pressed and the seat pulled up at the same time. So, not as easy to remove in this scenario.

SPEC Suitable from: Birth to 13kg (approx.

12 months) Weight: 4.5kg Dimensions: H56 x W44 x D67cm

Mumsnet | by parents for parents 63

reviews

Sitting pretty

If weaning is on the horizon, the first thing you’ll want to do (yes, even before donning a full protective body suit) is invest in a highchair. From a ‘virtually indestructible’ all-round winner to a steal of a seat from IKEA, these are the chairs to which our reviewers gave - ahem - a sitting ovation.

SAFETY FIRST - WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW BEFORE BUYING Highchairs range in price from £9 to well over £300, so how do you know which are worth it, and which you’ll find wanting? The two key things to consider are: Is it safe and sturdy?

Is it easy to clean?

If it doesn’t tick these two boxes,

COSATTO 3SIXTI2

£199.95 THE GOOD NEWS The 3Sixti2 is designed with flexibility in mind. The height is adjustable, with a gas-lift mechanism that lifts at the touch of a button; the seat is reclinable and spins 360 degrees; it can be used with or without a tray, and can be moved around the room with ease, thanks to its roller mechanism at the base.

Its heavyweight status, coupled with a wide base footprint (57 cm), mean it’s virtually impossible to topple.

It is also built to last - recommended from six months to approx three years. Both chair and tray are built to withstand everyday wear, tear and knocks - our tester described it as “virtually indestructible”. It took one

TRAY v PULL-UP-TO-THETABLE?

you’ll be tearing your hair out by the second week of weaning. Also consider: how easy is it to fold, or detach the tray for cleaning?

Can you remove the padded seat cover? Is the tray or baby restraint dishwasher safe? Is the cushion or seat padding easily removed or machine washable?

If your kitchen or dining room is tight on space, you may be better off with a highchair you can fold away when not in use. Also check the footprint when it’s unfolded.

person about 15 minutes to assemble, and everything you needed was in the box. There are user manuals online, including video tutorials for fitting replacement parts, if need be.

Additional features include a dishwasher-safe pop-off tray topper which makes in-flight cleaning that bit easier. Or do away with the tray and pull them up to the table instead - this gives the chair longevity into the toddler years, when your child may not be sturdy or tall enough to use a standard dining chair, but no longer wants to be confined to a highchair.

During weaning (6 - 12 months) a tray can be a godsend. While it’s lovely to pull your baby up to the table with the rest of the family, this makes it very easy for them to swipe food to the floor or grab food that may not be baby-friendly from other siblings’ plates. On the other hand, from 12 months old many babies enjoy being part of the action allowing them to watch other family members and learn how to behave at a table.

real drawback: some toddlers may find the lack of independence frustrating. But we’re clutching at straws, to be honest.

Best overall

SPEC Suitable from: six months to 15kg (approx three years) Weight: 14.8kg Footprint: 57cm Available in five fun, colourful designs.

STANDOUT BEST HIGHCHAIR

THE NOT-SO-GOOD Whilst the seat is wellproportioned and includes a footrest, be aware this is not designed for toddlers to use as a step to get themselves into the chair. This is the chair’s only

64 Mumsnet | by parents for parents

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Best budget buy

reviews

BEST HIGHCHAIR ON A BUDGET THE GOOD NEWS

IKEA ANTILOP

£14 with the tray, £9 without

Well, you can’t argue with a £9 price tag.

It’s also dishwasher-safe, and is easy to wipe clean with no nooks and crannies for food to get lost in. The Antilop chair can easily be stacked - ideal if you have twins or multiples, and brilliant if you want to save on space. The legs detach in 30 seconds if you need to store it, and the tray simply clips on.

other alternative - so it’s not the perfect fit if you’re looking for longevity. And although you can detach the legs (which spread fairly wide, and can be a bit of a trip hazard), you won’t be able to fold the Antilop. The tray, also, is quite far away for weaning age babies, so you may want to purchase an IKEA highchair cushion, or stuff a towel behind their backs to help prop them up.

THE NOT-SO-GOOD

SPEC

IKEA doesn’t state an age or weight limit, but Mumsnetters report that by around age two-and-a-half, most of them had moved on to a booster seat or

TOP TRAVEL-FRIENDLY HIGHCHAIR MOUNTAIN BUGGY POD

£45.00 THE GOOD NEWS The Pod is one clever piece of engineering. Using a clamp on either arm, the highchair fixes directly to your table quickly and easily. This allows your child to be a part of family mealtimes, and within reach of Mum or Dad for easy feeding.

It has a strong, solid aluminum frame and is impressively sturdy, and the cover (made from wipeclean material) can be removed from the frame very easily.

THE NOT-SO-GOOD The Pod only works on cer tain types of surfaces, and is only as

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stable as the surface you attach it to. The instruction manual (also available on Mountain Buggy’s website) lists which surfaces aren’t suitable, so we recommend double checking this before you buy.

There’s also a relatively big gap between the seat and table edge, meaning that a lot of food falls straight to the floor.

Additionally, the cover is not machine washable.

Suitable from: six months Seat height: 90cm Footprint: D58 x W58cm Tray: D44 x W42cm

Best for travel

SPEC Suitable from: three months to 15kg (about three years) Weight: 1kg Seat depth: 26cm Footprint: D34 x W34cm

Mumsnet | by parents for parents 65

Let’s go swimming Getting children active from an early age can lead them to a lifetime of health and happiness.

Swimming is a brilliant way to start as this can be done from birth. Not only do babies learn an important life saving skill, it gets them moving about to build up strength in their muscles. It is also a wonderful way to bond with children, it boosts mood, confidence and is really great fun!

Baby and toddler swim classes are accessible across the country, and ASDA Little Angels pants are excellent quality and great value - which means fun in the water is easy for everyone.

Their first taste of yummy goodness When weaning, babies love the taste of sweet foods but that doesn’t mean they can’t be good for them, natural fruit and vegetables are exactly what they need and exactly what they love.

Start their healthy life from the beginning by weaning them on to organic foods.

ASDA Little Angels award winning organic pouch food have no added nasties, are packed with fruit and vegetables and are made by food experts. They’re convenient and affordable too making healthy eating an easy choice right from the beginning.

WIN A STORKSAK NEWBORN BUNDLE

- WORTH £ 395 -

Looking for some newborn travel essentials? Kitting out a new baby can be pretty pricey, so Storksak are giving one lucky Mumsnetter the chance to win £395-worth of luxury must-haves for roaming around with your new addition

SHARE Beginning as a meeting of minds on the school run, Storksak was created by two mothers who saw the need for stylish changing bags and accessories. Thoughtfully designed in-house, each Storksak item is created with a close eye to detail, with the mission of providing parents with equipment to last for years to come.

From a multi-pocket shoulder bag to an insulated organiser, here’s what you’ll win in the £395 bundle: • Cabin carry-on in navy - £150 • Shoulder bag in navy - £110 • Travel stroller organiser in navy - £35 • Organics Little Traveller set - £25 • ‘Mother’s Cocoon’ multi-use nursing shawl in navy - £35 • Bundle of Joy gift set in Raindot print - £40

HOW TO ENTER: To be in with a chance of winning, simply head to www.mumsnet.com/competitions/2018/storksak-bundle and answer the question: Who was Storksak founded by - two mothers, two fathers, or two sisters? Good luck!

- T&Cs apply -