World AIDS Day Issue
/SF Bay Times
/SFBayTimes
See pages 10–14
Gary Virginia with Harry
PHOTO BY JESSE FREIDIN
November 26-December 2, 2015 | www.sfbaytimes.com
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In the News By Dennis McMillan
‘INSCRIBE’ Brings Remembrance to Castro Sidewalks on World AIDS Day On Tuesday, December 1, from 10 am to noon, students from Harvey Milk Civil Rights Academy will use colored chalk to write on the Castro sidewalks the names of those who have died from AIDS. To further observe World AIDS Day, they will also ask passers-by if they would like to write names in chalk along the Rainbow Honor Walk. The event is called “INSCRIBE.” facebook.com/ events/166253983718722 Rainbow World Fund Offers World Tree of Hope Ceremony Rainbow World Fund invites the public to the 10th Annual RWF World Tree of Hope Official Tree Lighting Celebration on Wednesday, December 2, 5:30 to 8 pm in the City Hall Rotunda. This holiday tree, a gift from members of the LGBTQ community, is decorated with thousands of white origami cranes, each containing written notes of hope and peace from children and individuals from around the world. The free event features refreshments, a concert by the Grammy-winning San Francisco Boys Chorus, emcee Cheryl Jennings, and Mayor Ed Lee and Deputy Consul General of Japan Nobuhiro Watanabe exchanging peace cranes. rainbowfund.org National AIDS Memorial Grove to Commemorate World AIDS Day The public is invited to the National AIDS Memorial Grove for the 22nd Annual World AIDS Day Observance, “Voices Surviving: Enduring Stories of Hope,” on Tuesday, December 1, 11:30 am to 1:30 pm in the Grove in Golden Gate Park at the intersection of Bowling Green and Nancy Pelosi Drive. The free program includes musical performance, presentation of awards, reading of names, and is followed by a light lunch. aidsmemorial.org November 20 Commemorated as Transgender Day of Remembrance In honor of transgender individuals who have lost their lives, Mayor Ed Lee proclaimed November 20 as Transgender Day of Remembrance in San Francisco and ordered City Hall to be lit in Blue, Pink and White in the colors of the Transgender Flag. Additionally, Transgender Law Center joined Forward Together and a number of trans-led organizations across the country for the Transgender Day of Resilience Art Project, with a goal of going beyond remembrance to celebrate the lives and resilience of transgender people. The LGBT Community Center also held a TDOR. transgenderlawcenter.org Senator Feinstein, Equality California, and Sheriff-Elect Hennessy Endorse Wiener for State Senator Senator Dianne Feinstein, Equality California, and Sheriff-Elect Vicki Hennessy have announced their endorsements of Supervisor Scott Wiener for California State Senator. Since his announcement for State Senator on July 1 of this
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year, Supervisor Wiener has been steadily building a significant and broad support list of elected and community leaders, labor unions, and community organizations, including the incumbent, Senator Mark Leno. scottwiener.com Pacific Center LGBTQ Youth Need Help Now Pacific Center for Human Growth has provided support programs for the LGBTQ community in Alameda County since 1978. Very recently, funding for this program, from one government source and another local community foundation, was either cut in half or eliminated for fiscal year 2015–16. Because of the funding cuts, the group currently is meeting just once a week; but with donors’ financial help, they will restore the full level of programming three days a week by January 2016. fundrazr.com/ campaigns/213Vq1?utm
Board President London Breed at The Independent, 628 Divisadero Street on Thursday, December 3, 7 to 8:30 pm. Representatives have been invited from the San Francisco Rent Board, the Mayor’s Office of Housing and Community Development, and the Housing Rights Committee to offer advice and information to tenants, from legal rights to eviction resources. There will be a formal presentation from each representative, followed by Q&A and an opportunity to talk separately with each agency. sfgov.org Company that Raised AIDS Drug Price by 5,000% Reports $14.6 Million Loss CEO Martin Shkreli earned the world’s wrath when his company Turing Pharmaceuticals purchased the rights to AIDS drug Daraprim and raised the price by over 5,000 percent. Now, Turing Pharmaceuticals has reported a $14.6 million net loss in their thirdquarter (July to September of this year). The company justified the losses by claiming they’re spending 60% of their revenue on drug research. lgbtqnation.com
HUD Issues Rule to Ensure Equality for Transgender Shelter Seekers The U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development (HUD) has issued a proposed rule that would ensure that transgender individuals seeking accommodations in emergency shelters are housed according to their gender identity. This rule amends the groundbreaking LGBT Equal Access Rule issued by HUD in 2012 that prohibits discrimination in public housing and HUD’s core housing programs based on sexual orientation, gender identity and marital status. nclrights.org
EPA Awards $1 Million Grant to Research Impact of Drought on Water Quality The Environmental Protection Agency has announced a $1 million grant to the Public Policy Institute of California (PPIC) to conduct research on the effects of drought and extreme weather on the state’s water resources. The study will examine the conditions that contribute to the current drought, looking at the effect decreased water supply and unpredictable water quality have on agriculture, the environment and the hydropower sector in both urban and rural settings. epa.gov
Bimonthly Injections Said to Be as Effective as Pills at Treating HIV Researchers are cautiously viewing results of a recent HIV injection study as a positive development for the treatment of HIV. A recent medical study from GlaxoSmithKline and Johnson & Johnson found that a monthly or bimonthly injection was as effective in suppressing HIV as daily oral medication. If the goal is to get people to be compliant by taking a pill every day, it could be easier to get them compliant by seeing a doctor every other month. edgemedianetwork.com
Transgender Woman Attacked for 2nd Time in San Francisco A transgender woman said she was attacked for the second time this year while on a date with her fiancé in San Francisco’s Mission District. Samantha Husley was out with her fiancé Daira Hopwood when a couple threw hot coffee on her and repeatedly punched her in the face, according to police. The police arrested a man and a woman on suspicion of a string of hate crime related counts. edgemedianetwork.com
Pride at Work Reacts to Release of HRC Corporate Equality Index Pride at Work is disappointed that the HRC Corporate Equality Index (CEI) rewards big corporations for “questionable employment practices” without taking into consideration the lived experiences of the LGBTQ working people in those corporations. It is their position that any company that takes action to stall, stymie, or otherwise undermine the efforts of their workers to unionize is preventing LGBTQ working people from achieving the full nondiscrimination protections federal and most state laws currently do not provide. prideatwork.org Supervisor Breed Offers Tenants’ Rights Forum The Tenants’ Rights Forum is being hosted by District 5 Supervisor and
U.S. Can’t Turn Its Back on Vulnerable Refugee Populations, Says ORAM Releasing a statement from a United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees (UNHCR) sponsored training in Ankara, Turkey, Neil Grungras, Executive Director of the San Francisco-based Organization for Refuge, Asylum, and Migration (ORAM), called on the U.S. government not to turn its back on the most vulnerable and most faithful of Syrian refugees. He noted that among these refugees are religious minorities, LGBTQ persons and Muslims determined to reclaim their faith from the clutches of tyranny. oraminternational.org
Solidarity with Paris -
Vigil at San Francisco City Hall Photos by Rink The facade of San Francisco City Hall has been lit the past several days in the colors of France, honoring the memory of victims and survivors of the terror attacks on Friday, November 13. A quiet vigil on the City Hall steps, organized by the French community of San Francisco, was held just a few days later on Sunday, November 15. The flag of France hung from the Mayor’s balcony at City Hall. Pauline Carmona, French Consul General, spoke to the crowd. “I want to say thank you,” she said. “Thank you for your support in such a difficult moment.” A group of 32 French students visiting the Bay Area led the crowd in singing the French national anthem. Participants shared kisses, in the French tradition on both cheeks, remembering Paris, San Francisco’s Sister City.
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The Longevity Wave: Meeting Future Needs
Aging in Community Marcy Adelman There are 3 million LGBT seniors, and that number is expected to double by 2030. People over 65 years of age are the fastest growing segment of both LGBT and non-LGBT populations, especially seniors over the age of 85. Is the existing senior-serving infrastructure prepared to meet the needs of this exponential growth in our senior population? Yes, but only if government, foundations and philanthropy step up to the plate by investing in efforts that will permit additional affordable housing, senior services and programs that will help all of us, LGBT and non-LGBT, live longer, healthier more vital lives. Although many of us can take steps to remain healthy and independent as we age, most will experience declining physical and sensory abilities, and some will suffer from a decline in cognitive functioning. It is estimated that half of all people over the age of 65 will need some type of assistance with activities such as bathing, dressing, house cleaning, cooking, transportation and managing money. This assistance can help a person recover from a recent hospitalization or medical incident, or provide the on-going capacity for self-care that is lost because of a chronic illness or disabling condition. The focal point of this care is the home. Housing is the lynchpin of health and well being for people of all ages. Affordable housing, when combined with supportive services, allows people to stay in their homes and to re-
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If it’s November, then it’s time to cover the L.A. Auto Show. This year, there were two cars that stood out as having appeal to the LGBT community: the Honda Clarity Fuel Cell Sedan, and the Fiat 124 Spider.
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We LGBTers are known for embracing trends before the general populace, and so it would seem that the Honda Clarit y Fuel Cell Sedan would be one to perk our ears. Honda has been working on hydrogen cars for 20 years. In fact, the city of San Francisco leased two of Honda’s stubby FCX hydrogen cars back in 2004, and so the Clarity is here to bring the zero-tailpipe emissions of pressurized gas into the mainstream. Toyota has also been working on hydrogen cars, and has already landed the first few of its Mirai hydrogen sedans into buyers’ driveways. As Hon-
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LGBT older adults and seniors face unique challenges to staying in their homes. These include: 1- High levels of financial insecurity after a lifetime of discrimination that has negatively impacted government benefits, income and savings. Studies report that lesbians, LGBT seniors of color, trans elders and longterm AIDS survivors experience higher levels of poverty than heterosexual seniors. 2- High rates of discrimination in housing and in senior service settings. It has been well documented that LGBT seniors experience discrimination by providers in their homes, in nursing homes, assisted living facilities and when buying or renting a home. When forced to move from their homes for health or financial reasons, it is challenging for LGBT seniors to find safe and affordable housing. 3- Fear of discrimination, of not being treated with dignity and respect by service providers and senior housing residents is a barrier to ac-
da and Toyota led the hybrid way with the Insight and Prius, so too are the two companies squaring off over this next green-car frontier.
Philip Ruth
specialty care
Essential to the housing crisis is the problem of supply and demand. There is not enough affordable housing, especially in the country’s larger cities, for low-income seniors, disabled people, veterans, middle income and working families and people living with HIV/AIDS. The lack of housing causes housing costs to escalate. The more money that goes to pay for rising rents or mortgages means less money for the essentials of life, such as food, transportation and medicine.
cessing senior services or applying for affordable senior housing.
4- Lack of protection from discrimination in housing. In March of this year, San Francisco passed the LGBT Senior Long Term Care Facilities Bill of Rights, the first ordinance of its kind, which makes it illegal to discriminate against patients in nursing homes and assisted living facilities based on sexual orientation, gender identity, gender expression or HIV status. Hopefully other cities and counties will follow with similar ordinances. More protections are also needed at the national and state level. 5- Limited support networks result in fewer resources in financial and emotional assistance. The majority of non-LGBT people rely on spouses and adult children to provide the care and support that they need to age in their homes and in their communities. Family caregivers lovingly provide the care that is needed either directly themselves, and/or assist with the financing of professional in-home services. Two out of three older people who receive care at home receive all their care from family caregivers. Unlike, heterosexual seniors, LGBT seniors and LGBT boomers are four times less likely to be parents and twice as likely to be single and living alone. LGBT older adults and seniors rely on close friends, rather than family, for support. But our informal support networks can become frayed and limited over time as our dear friends are typically similar in age and may not be available to provide the care that we need. At some point, we will need to rely on home health care services in order to stay in our homes and to avoid placement in a skilled nursing facility or assisted living. I recently visited a friend in his late 70’s who is recovering at home from back surgery. He said, “I knew about all of this. After all, we have talked about this sort of thing eventually happening—need(continued on page 30)
Two Standouts from This Year’s L.A. Auto Show
Auto
Excellence in
ceive needed care to live as independently and as long as possible in their communities. Conversely, care in a nursing home is four times more expensive than receiving care at home, and the disruption to a person’s life, relationships and well being is incalculable. The lack of affordable housing is not just a San Francisco crisis but is also a national one. It isn’t a surprise then that safe, affordable housing is cited as the #1 priority of LGBT seniors across the country.
You can buy a Mirai for about $45K (after tax incentives), or lease one for $499 per month, and you’d expect the Clarity’s cost to be similar. Honda promises a 300-mile range. The fuel stack it devised is about the size of a V6 engine, so it fits under the Clarity’s hood. The Clarity will also form the basis for Honda’s next-generation hybrid sedan, so we’ll be seeing a lot of its platform on the roads around us. Initial Clarity sales start in late 2016 and will be limited to the San Francisco Bay Area, Sacramento, Los Angeles and Orange County—the areas where the hydrogen refueling network can credibly support it. So, in addition to being fashion-first, we Bay Area LGBTers are living in the right place to jump on the hydrogen train.
Honda Clarity
The Fiat 124
Fiat Spider
Spider, on the other hand, is a throwback version of our community’s automotive whipping boy, the Mazda MX-5 Miata. Once maligned as an obvious choice for effeminate gay men, the Miata’s redesign for 2015 gave it sharp styling and decisively agile performance. To create the 124 Spider, Fiat reshaped the Miata with styling cues that recall the lovely roadster with the Pininfarina lines that ended sales in the U.S. in the early 1980s. It’s also a benefit that besides the engine—Fiat installed its own 1.4-liter turbo engine—the 124 Spider will likely retain much of the Miata’s bricklike durability. I owned a 1979 124 Spider, and although I loved to drive it, the car it was an acute reliability disaster. I rarely got where I wanted to go without some roadside wrenching (or worse, pushing). Fiat’s new models are still landing at the bottom of the repair charts, so any injection of the Miata’s starch is a welcome one. In fact, a driveway hosting both the Clarity and the 124 Spider would be nearly perfect, with green commuting and carefree cruising. It would be just the ticket for those among us who keep looking forward while appreciating the past. Philip Ruth is a Castro-based automotive photojournalist and consultant at www.gaycarguy.com. Check out his automotive staging service at www.carstaging.com
A Progressive Win, A Rough Night for the Mayor, Housing Solutions and More Bad News for the ACCJC our increasingly unaffordable and economically polarized city, and a strong challenger would, of course, have benef itted from that. But a stronger challenger and a real campaign would also have given the Mayor an opportunity to rally his supporters, to reframe the debate, and if he prevailed, maybe even emerge with A San Francisco something of a mandate Kind of Democrat for the next four years. A narrow victory over a Mark Leno might actuRafael Mandelman ally have left Mayor Lee In the end, though, her sigin a stronger position than nificant advantages of incumhe is in today, coming out of an election that bency were no match for the focus, discipline seems to have galvanized the opposition withand determination of a candidate who knew out allowing him to renew his own connection the district better, connected with voters better to the voters. and put together a far better campaign. Aaron Peskin is District 3’s voice in City Hall once My probably naïve hope is that, in the wake of more, and the City’s beleaguered Left finally the 2015 election, the Lee administration will has something to celebrate. now undertake a bit of a course correction, reach out to Peskin and the progressives on the Conventional wisdom is that election night was Board and move aggressively to address the not a great one for the Mayor. Sure, he won affordable housing and other challenges of the his second full term, and his candidates for current economic boom. Of course, that kind sheriff and community college board won deof a shift would risk alienating the powerful cisively, as did the affordable housing bond he business interests that have seemed so domihad championed. But the rout of his candidate nant in City Hall these last few years; on the in District 3, combined with the Mayor’s own other hand, it would bring the Lee administraanemic electoral tally ( just over 55 percent of tion more in line with Lee’s own roots as an the vote in a field of candidates most people affordable housing attorney and community had never heard of ), have led to speculation activist. Folks inside City Hall tell me it won’t that Ed Lee, who only a year ago seemed unhappen, but I am an optimistic soul, and one beatable, was actually by election day this year can dream. quite vulnerable. If only there had been a viable challenger, some have speculated, the City One policy initiative I would love to see the could actually have had a new mayor come Mayor and Board collaborate on would be an January. increase in the City’s inclusionary housing requirement. 9.75Back in. in 2012, as part of a grand I am not so sure. Certainly, there is great and growing dissatisfaction with the direction of (continued on page 30) Aaron won! It’s been nearly a month, but San Francisco progressives are still basking in the afterglow of one of the great local lefty upsets of recent times. Appointed Supervisor Julie Christensen was a formidable candidate, backed by more than $1 million in direct campaign contributions and soft money from the real estate, development and tech industries, and enjoying the unf lagging support of a mayor willing to use the full powers of his office to bolster her candidacy.
Election Consequences, World AIDS Day ment, much the way Mayor Lee appointed Julie Christensen to David Chiu’s seat in District 3. Then that appointee must run in the fall of 2017 to retain the seat. Should Jane K im w in, Mayor Lee might appoint someone more moderate than Kim.
Election Consequences The fall election is behind us. We have a new Sheriff— Vicki Hennessy won by a landslide, having received 61% of the vote compared to Ross Mirkarimi’s 33%. She will bring her 30 years of experience and strong leadership to the Department. Look for the sheriff deputies’ morale to improve immediately.
The other scenario is a possibility that the Board votes in 2016 on a charter Also, we have a new (well, amendment that would Zoe Dunning recycled) Supervisor in Dischange city law so voters, trict 3, Aaron Peskin. This instead of the elected officould make for a very interesting legislative cials, have the power to choose who fills vacant year, as the Board of Supervisors now swings seats. John Avalos tried this unsuccessfully in more to the progressive side with Peskin’s elec- 2014, but with Aaron Peskin now tipping the tion. Even though two progressive housing ini- balance, this proposal may well have the votes tiatives—the short term rental restrictions in on the Board to go forward next year. If so, the Prop F, and the Mission building moratorium, proposed charter amendment would go before Prop I—lost at the ballot, look for these pro- the voters and, if it passes, the new Supervisor posals to come before the Board again in one in District 6 or 8 would be decided in either a form or another. It is very likely some type of special election or in the primary election in additional regulations and oversight will be June of 2017, depending on how it is written. enacted on the rentals, and developers will If that is the case, then it is an open seat and continue to be squeezed to focus on building anything goes—no guarantee the winner will almost exclusively affordable housing. align at all politically with the departing SuThis progressive majority may only last a year, pervisor. So a lot can change with the balance however. The odd-numbered Supervisor dis- of power in City Hall over the next 18 months. tricts are up for election next fall, and three All in all, 2016 will be a very busy year in City solid progressive votes are getting termed out: Hall and at the ballot box. Stay tuned! Eric Mar in District 1, David Campos in District 9, and John Avalos in District 11. Look World AIDS Day for one, and possibly two, of these seats to be December 1st marks another World Aids Day. occupied by more moderate candidates come This year’s national theme is “The Time to November 2016. Act Is Now.” There will be a number of events
Do Ask, Do Tell
The other wild card will be filling the seat of whoever is elected to Mark Leno’s senate seat next fall. Whether it is Jane Kim or Scott Wiener, there is a possibility that their replacements may not fall in line ideologically with their current Supervisor. Under the current city charter, if any of the city’s elected offices are vacated, the mayor gets to name a replace-
scheduled that day in San Francisco, including an observance at the AIDS Memorial Grove.
I distinctly remember my first observance of World Aids Day—it was 20 years ago, in 1995. I had just concluded my second military discharge hearing for violating the Don’t Ask, (continued on page 30)
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When Dogs Heal
In honor of World AIDS Day, December 1, we are featuring the non-profit Fred Says, which promotes pet ownership to improve the lives of those with HIV/AIDS. Fred Says (http://fredsays.org/) also raises funds to support HIV+ youth, with the money going to other organizations working to make a beneficial difference.
Since the start of Fred Says, many pet owners—including several from the Bay Area—have connected to Garofalo’s story of finding comfort, help and healing through a beloved pet. We would like to share some of those stories with you now, starting with San Francisco-based LGBT community leader Gary Virginia.
Founder Dr. Rob Garofalo knows what it is like to live with HIV. Diagnosed in 2010, just four years following a cancer diagnosis, the prominent Chicago-based physician went through a prolonged period of depression. In January of 2011, however, he adopted a sweet little pup named Fred (now 5 years old), whom Garofalo credits as creating a space for peace and joy in his life.
His expertise in networking, community building, fundraising and grassroots activism has been very evident in positions such as President of San Francisco Pride’s Board of Directors (last year), multiple years on the board of Positive Resource Center and Co-founder of the annual and always fabulous Pride Brunch.
PHOTO COURTESY OF FRED SAYS
Photographs by Jesse Freidin
Dr. Rob and Fred
By Gary Virginia
Twelve years ago while sitting nervously in a cold, sterile medical examination room, I shared with my doctor my persistent feelings of anxiety and depression. As a long-term HIV/ AIDS survivor, I was well versed in western and eastern approaches to healing. But I had suffered a stressful relationship breakup that left me feeling hopeless for my future. When my doctor asked if I had any pets, “my aquarium of fish” was not the answer he was seeking. We chuckled and then the conversation shifted to furry, four-legged pets. I explained my lifelong love of dogs, but how I could not have one due to being a tenant in a “no pets” building. He enthusiastically explained the benefits of an emotional support pet, and that he could prescribe an assistance dog for me. I didn’t act on his advice immediately, but down the road I spotted a puppy named Harry in the Castro and fell in love. I kept running into this tricolor, wire-haired pup with big ears, tethered to parking meters outside of laundromats, bars and coffee shops, and would always stop to pet or cuddle him. My friends knew I was obsessed with this little guy, and would call me if they spotted Harry in the ‘hood, day or night. I would rush out of my house with hopes of finding him, if only for a minute or two of licks and hugs. One day I met the man whom I thought was Harry’s guardian, but it turned out that he was a volunteer for Wonder Dog Rescue and was socializing Harry until a permanent home could be found for him. That generous man was Brad Hume, who passed in January of this year. What I thought was only a dream—to see Harry daily—became a reality after I successfully rescued and registered him as my assistance dog 10 years ago. In truth, Harry rescued me. And my life has been changed for the better ever since. In recent years, science has confirmed the healing power of pets. The Center for Disease Control cites that pets can help humans lower blood pressure and cholesterol levels, cure loneliness, increase exercise and improve social life. The American Heart Association backed these claims with scientific research. Other research has shown that pet owners with AIDS are less likely to be depressed than non-owners; that kids growing up with cats or dogs tend to have fewer allergies and asthma, stronger immune systems, and learn greater responsibility. None of these studies were needed for me to experience the healing power of Harry in my life. As a single person living alone, I’ve developed an intimate, interdependence with my 10
25-pound bundle of joy. He forces me to get out of bed each day feeling appreciated, requires me to get outside at least three times daily for exercise and fresh air, and communicates a multitude of emotions in his unique ways. There’s no such thing as a stranger to him—people or pets—as his passive approach melts hearts wherever he treads. For a time he would join his “aunt” Deana Dawn when she worked at Under One Roof (the former retail store supporting many Bay Area HIV/AIDS charities.) She made him a nametag, and he served as a greeter luring in disarmed shoppers from Castro Street. On a lark in 2010, I entered Harry’s photograph in a readers’ poll contest and he won “Cutest Dog in the Bay” in the SF Bay Guardian. That year we celebrated his April 1st birthday as a benefit at Under One Roof, where a turtle, rabbit, and cats and dogs joined the party to celebrate! Recently, we were invited by Dr. Robert Garofalo to participate in the When Dogs Heal photo essay project with exhibitions about to open in Chicago and New York City. After I was interviewed by Zack Stafford, Harry and I sat for award-winning dog photographer Jesse Freidin. Harry is usually calm and endearing, but that day he was like a Mexican jumping bean. I was beginning to blush with embarrassment, so I swept Mr. Fuzzball into my arms to position him toward the camera and—FLASH—Jesse captured the loving bond I share with this gentle creature for our exhibition photo. (Editor’s Note: The photo is featured here and on the cover of this issue of the San Francisco Bay Times.) There are financial costs when adopting a pet, which are explained by rescue agencies. That became clearer to me in 2014 when one day Harry was immobile and yelping in pain. The diagnosis was degenerative disc disease and the vet explained that surgery would likely add many pain-free years to his life. The other option was not discussed, nor could I imagine my life without my buddy. The expensive surgery was a success—except for my finances—but how can you put a price on unconditional love? In closing, I want to thank my exceptional doctor of 20 years who recently retired, Dr. David Senechek, as well as the late Brad Hume who chose me among several potential guardians for Harry. Being a 27-year HIV/ AIDS survivor with better treatment options now available, I’ll likely outlive my trusted companion. But, who knows? I may not have made it this far without him. Thanks, Harry. Gary Virginia is on the board of San Francisco Pride and is an advisory board member of the Positive Resource Center.
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PHOTOS COURTESY OF GARY VIRGINIA
Wild About Harry
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Photographs by Jesse Freidin
Healing One Another
My Comfort After the Dark Sharon and Dulk Long Island, California It wasn’t nice the way the doctor told me I was positive. For weeks, I had been really sick— like really sick. I thought I just had a bad cold and this bad cough. But while I was traveling to Santa Barbara in 1996 to surprise my mother for Mother’s Day, the cough got worse. When I arrived on the West Coast, my mother was immediately worried: I was 98 pounds and I couldn’t stop coughing. She took me straight to the emergency room. After being admitted, I was immediately put into the intensive care unit and they let my family hang out with me while they ran tests. After some time, the doctor finally came to the door and just blurted out: “You have AIDS, and you have six months to live and need to get your priorities in order.” He said there was nothing else they could do, and my entire family burst into tears.
son. I just cried in the dark for months and months.
I just sat there.
It took a couple days to get the words to sink in, but eventually I chose not to die at all.
When they released me days later, I started to lose everything: my house, my car, my job in Washington, because once I heard those words, “You are going to die in 6 months,” I couldn’t muster the strength to do anything. And when you do nothing, you have nothing. Those first months, I didn’t know how to handle it. My family didn’t know what to do, especially my 6-year-old
After about six months, my mom came into the room and said you have a son out here. You need to make up your mind: if you’re going to lie around and just die like the doctor says, you can’t do it here. You need to get up and brush yourself off and get it done.
After some time and starting treatment, I began to get healthier, but I still felt like I was in the dark room I had spent months crying in. For years, the isolation of being HIV-positive was just too much to handle even as I started getting better. So one day, about three years ago, my sister went to a shelter and got Dulk
The Pancakes I Brought Home Joseph and Pancakes Chicago, Illinois
I was getting off the bus on my way home, and this cute little dog started following me from around the corner. I remember looking down and saying: “Who are you? Where did you come from?” Immediately, I began to look around for her owner. She had a collar, but there was no one in sight. It was a cold and rainy October evening, so after no luck finding her owners, I took her home with me. When we got to my house, she was so well behaved and was excited to be around people. That evening, when it was time to go to bed, she jumped right up with my partner and me. She acted as if my home had been hers all along. I spent a month looking for her owners. And at the end of the month, I became not only her owner, but also her home. I’ve had dogs all my life, but my partner and sister who lived with me had
for me and immediately he became what I needed after all this time, a companion. Most people don’t know I am HIVpositive, unless I do a talk at a school or something. It’s information I have kept pretty quiet about since 1996. But over these past years, Dulk has been the sole friend that I haven’t felt like I had to keep quiet to, because he just wants to love and be loved in return. He will watch TV. He will lie with me and put his head on my lap when he knows I am not feeling well. He is my constant companion. And, most of all, he has become my best friend. Today it’s still lonely at times, and I don’t know if that will ever go away, because it’s hard to find someone who will accept you due to the stigma that accompanies being HIV-positive. But I am hopeful. And I have Dulk.
results and finding out what medications I was going to be taking and all of that can be very stressful.
On the days when it really hit me and I was laying on the couch, she would let me hug her; she would keep me on my feet and give me a reason to laugh. I think that was the biggest thing she brought to my house: laughter.
Pancakes arrived just a few months before I was diagnosed with HIV. The experience of waiting to get test
She kept our minds focused on other people during the beginning. I’d hate to say she was a distraction when I found out, but rather, she helped me refocus my energy that was at first sad, confused, frustrated and scared. And she gave me something good… like Pancakes.
A Love Deserved Lynnea and Coconut Inglewood, California
the news to me, even though my mom told her not to tell me.
I found out I was HIV-positive when I was seven.
All I knew about HIV was what I heard in the news: Magic Johnson was going to die; Ryan White had been kicked out of school, and all of that stuff. So when I found out, I ran into the kitchen crying and asked: “Why didn’t you tell me I was dying?”
That day, while I was playing outside, my sister asked my mom why she kept taking me to the doctor, giving me medicine I didn’t like, and why they kept taking my blood at the doctors. “You’re not doing it to the rest of us, so what’s going on?” And that’s when my mom told her. I came inside shortly afterward to ask my sister to come play with me. Instead of playing in the yard, she broke 12
BAY TIMES NOVEMB E R 2 6 , 2 0 1 5
His previous owner had been arrested numerous times for selling drugs and had moved to the projects. While living there, his old owner would let her new roommates use Thor in dogfights in order to get free drugs. When I met Thor, he was healing from a recent stab wound. I didn’t plan on keeping him, but as soon as he came into my house, he lay on his back to let me rub his belly, and I could tell that he felt immediately comfortable with me. Thor stayed with me for several weeks while I tried to find a home for him; meanwhile we grew closer and closer. One day I realized I had found a home for him already—mine. because she was worse off than me, she kept telling me. My mother is still alive and healthy today, and I think about this often. After finding out my status, I didn’t tell many people about it growing up—especially in school. Ryan White had just been kicked out of his school for being positive, so I was silent. I have started to come out to some people over the years, and I have lost a lot of friends because of stigma. Most people can’t get past their own bias, so it’s rough. But I still keep pushing forward, and lately I have found myself not hiding in silence any more.
Back then, HIV only meant AIDS, and it only meant you were dying. My mom came over and leaned down to me. She told me I had HIV, but that she had AIDS, which was worse. And she told me that I wasn’t dying and that I would keep getting up every day to live my life, to go to school, and as long I saw her making sure
Before Thor, I was terrible at taking my HIV meds. I was partying every night and selling drugs. I really didn’t care about anything, and I didn’t want to take on the responsibility to change my lifestyle, which was slowly killing me. One day a friend of mine asked me to help her find a home for this dog named Thor.
I work from home and my partner doesn’t, so I was home alone a lot. Pancakes was so attentive to my needs. She always reacted to my melancholia; she could sense whenever I was being contemplative or sad. And she is a huge cuddler.
not. That very first day my sister said, “I really want to call her Pancakes.” When I asked why, she said that it was just a name she had always wanted to call a dog if she ever had one.
Brad Ramsey and Thor San Francisco, California
I had everything I needed, then it would be fine. As long as she kept getting up, then I would keep getting up,
Over the past 10 years, I have been struggling with an abusive relationship, and when I found out I was pregnant, I thought it was finally time to cut ties with the man who had been so abusive. Loving him didn’t feel good to me, but I stayed with him for so long because I didn’t think anyone would love me. I am HIV-positive; who would want me, especially now? But then I got Coconut, who changed all of that.
When I realized I was going to keep this dog, I knew I had to get serious about making some changes in my life. Not just for me, but because Thor deserved to live in a stabile home. If I was going to keep Thor in my life, I needed to do it in a way that didn’t leave any chance for him to be uprooted again. His previous owner was also a drug dealer like me and had been busted, which is what left Thor homeless and under my watch, so I had to stop dealing as well. I needed to not stay out late anymore so I could be home to take care of him. Through making adjustments to give Thor a safe and healthy home, I became healthier and safer in my own life. And I got clean. If I had not met Thor, I wouldn’t be here today. I wouldn’t have lasted this long. All of my friends are gone. None of them lived to see their thirties except for me, and I partied a lot harder than they did. But I somehow made it. That I’m still here today doesn’t make a lot of sense when I think about it. The only way I do make sense of it is by looking at Thor and knowing that without him I wouldn’t be alive. And without me, he wouldn’t either. We healed one another. Coconut was an accident. A friend of mine had asked me to help her find a dog, but when I found Coconut, there was this immediate bond between us. He was a little too calm to be given to my friend, who had multiple children and would need a more spirited dog. So I kept him and thought he would be good practice as I waited for the arrival of my daughter. During the pregnancy, Coconut loved me on my worst days. On mornings I didn’t want to get out of bed, he would jump up and lick me and give me that energy I needed to get up. His constant love was so refreshing, and it made me realize that I could receive that from another. And it was possible for humans to feel that way too. My relationship with Coconut during my pregnancy helped me stop that other relationship and realize that I am worth more, even if I am positive. Coconut has shown me that it’s OK to be loved by another living thing. And most importantly, that I deserve a love that doesn’t hurt.
BAY T IM ES NOVEM BER 26, 2015
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Photographs by Jesse Freidin
Felicia with Gypsy Rose Lee and Simon Kenneth with Sadie and Cognac
Ross and Oscar George and Ajax
Hoa and friend with Pepe and Ann
Larry and Buster
San Francisco SPCA’s 29th Annual Holiday Windows Photos by Robert Bengston for SFSPCA “A Charlie Brown Christmas” is the theme of the 2015 edition of the San Francisco SPCA’s annual Holiday Windows. Unveiled on Friday evening, November 20, at the Union Square Macy’s location, the window displays featuring pets available for adoption can be seen daily through January 3 with hours varying. Temporary adoption centers will be set-up inside Macy’s. “You can take an animal home straight from the store,” said SFSPCA’s Krista Maloney. In 2014, as reported by SFSPCA, 267 animals were adopted and approximately $90,000 was raised. Find out more at sfspca.org
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BAY TIMES NOVEMB E R 2 6 , 2 0 1 5
Steven and Hope
amfAR, The Foundation for AIDS Research and UCSFAIDS Research Institute invite you to the
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BAY T IM ES NOVEM BER 26, 2015
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11/16/15 10:38 AM
Round About - All Over Town
Thousands were on hand to cheer the lighting of Pier 39’s holiday tree on Saturday, November 21.
Photos by RINK
Gary Virginia, Krewe de Kinque Mari Gras Club captain, presented a turkey and other raffle prizes at a benefit for the Jazzie’s Place shelter held on November 21 at the Edge bar.
Tony Leo and Gio Adame were volunteers at the Krewe de Kinque benefit for Jazzie’s Place at the Edge bar on November 21.
GGBA’s Paul Pendergast welcomed guests to the November Make Contact mixer held at Dirty Water lounge in the Twitter Building on November 11.
Barry Miles and BeBe Sweetbriar were on hand as volunteers for the Krewe de Kinque benefit for Jazzie’s Place.
GGBA president JP Leddy welcomed attendees to the November Make Contact at Dirty Water lounge on November 11.
Kristine Pinon and friends at the GGBA November Make Contact
Academy of Friends board member Beth Feingold with GGBA’s A guest (left) with Christian Sergio De Alba, Jaime Botello and John Eric Henry at the GGBA NovemAaron Baldwin (far left) with other attendees at the GGBA November GGBA president JP Leddy (3rd from left) sharing a hug with attendees at GGBA’s Robb Fleischer at the November ber Make Contact Make Contact mixer Make Contact November Make Contact
Castro Cove owner Solange Darwish and server Manny (center) welcomed guests enjoying the new sidewalk table on Castro Street. Transgender Film Festival leaders welcoming a large crowd of attendees included (left to right) Eric Gracia, production coordinator; Storm Miguel Florez, social media coordinator; Shawna Virago, artistic director; and Sean Dorsey, community liaison, at the opening night held at the Roxie Theater on November 12.
Artistic director Shawna Virago spoke at the Transgender Film Festival’s opening night at the Roxie Theater.
Filmmakers Storm Miguel Florez, transgendr activist Miss Major Griffin-Gracy, and emcee Shawn Demmon on stage at the Castro Theatre for a Q&A session accompanying the screening of the film Major!
The Castro Theatre marque announces the screening of the film Major! during the Transgender Film Festival. The film addresses the life of Miss Major Griffin-Gracy, a Stonewall Riot veteran and forty-six year activist for the rights of transgender women of color. 16
BAY TIMES NOVEMB E R 2 6 , 2 0 1 5
An audience of more than 1,000 gave transgender activist Miss Major Griffin-Gracy a standing ovation at the premiere of the film Major! at the Castro Theatre during the Transgender Film Festival.
Entertainers Paul Williams and Kylie Minono offered Platinum VIP tickets outside the Castro Theatre’s screening of the Addams Family Values show on November 21.
Veteran charity fundraiser Juanita More (second from left) was surrounded by fans at the weekly Booty Call party at QBar. The party ended its 10-year run on November 10.
Sister Dana Sez: Words of Wisdumb from a Fun Nun she produced yet another encore, because we begged her to. Let me just say how thankful I am to be a friend of the famous and infamous Lady Bunny! And kudos to Heklina for shipping her to us from New York City!
By Sister Dana Van Iquity Sister Dana sez, “On Thanksgiving, I always like to call it ‘ThanksGAYing,’ because I am thankful that I am gay. In fact, T.G.I.G. Thank God I’m Gay!” (Continuing with the Thanksgiving thread) I am thankful I got to join ACADEMY OF FRIENDS at the Orpheum Theatre to see the musical IF/THEN to help raise money for HIV/AIDS direct care services. The amazing If/Then features Tony Award-winner and Broadway superstar Idina Menzel (Wicked, Rent, Frozen, Glee) plus Tony Award-winner LaChanze (The Color Purple, Once on This Island), Anthony Rapp (Rent, Six Degrees of Separation, You’re a Good Man, Charlie Brown), and James Snyder (Cry-Baby, Rock of Ages) - the original Broadway stars of IF/THEN. This is a stunning production, and it even includes same-sex couples and samesex marriage! Sister Dana sez, “Don’t miss this one!” Purchase tickets at shnsf.com ACADEMY OF FRIENDS 2015 HOLIDAY RECEPTION is Wednesday, December 9th, 6:308:30pm, at Williams-Sonoma, 340 Post Street. Great place to eat, drink, and shop for holiday ornaments and gifts, while receiving 20% off all purchases during the event. academyoffriends.org
GRASS ROOTS GAY RIGHTS FOUNDATION, producers of the annual REAL BAD fundraising party that follows San Francisco’s worldrenowned Folsom Street Fair, has announced the fundraising results from REAL BAD XXXVII. The event was a sell-out success, raising a record $217,000 for LGBTQ and HIV/AIDS beneficiaries that serve the community. As of REAL BAD XXVII, over $2.3 million has been donated to community beneficiary organizations over the event’s history. 100 percent of the money collected from general admission ticket sales went to the beneficiaries. realbad.org COMING UP!!! November 30, the eve of WORLD AIDS DAY, the NATIONAL AIDS MEMORIAL GROVE will once again hold its annual LIGHT IN THE GROVE fundraising gala 6-9 pm, Nancy Pelosi Drive & Bowling Green Drive. This iconic event offers a unique evening experience in Golden Gate Park; an outdoor, transparently-tented celebration with cocktails, hors d’oeuvres and dinner; featuring music, performance, art, and evocative light displays. This stellar event receives nationwide media attention and draws over 600 attendees. Festive, warm attire is suggested, coat-check will be available. Experience the exquisite beauty of this national memorial “after hours.” aidsmemorial.org/events/2015-lightin-the-grove THE GOLDEN GIRLS: THE CHRISTMAS EPISODES have 12 performances December 3rd - 20th, Thursdays, Fridays, Saturdays – 8 pm; Sundays – 7 pm, Victoria Theatre, 2961 16th Street. D’Arcy Drollinger & Hollotta Tymes (playing Rose & Sophia) join the cast with Heklina & Matthew Martin (playing Dorothy & Blanche as usual) for delightfully live interpretations of two fun episodes from TV’s classic Golden Girls. Manuel Caneri, Nancy French and Tom Shaw are also featured in the cast. The Golden Girls: The Christmas Episodes 2015 is directed by Matthew Martin. Costumes by Tria. This glorious show has been running for ten years now. As the theme song goes: “Thank You for Being a Friend.” Sister Dana sez, “This is a holidaze must!” goldengirlschristmas. eventbrite.com P HOTO BY RINK
I thoroughly enjoyed the legendary LADY BUNNY in her hysterical one-woman show, PIG IN A WIG! at Oasis. It was naughty, nasty, dirty, dishy, sleazy, gorgeous, filthy fun very little of which is printable, but nonetheless laughable. So funny my sides ached from belly laughs! The night began with a very humorous video “review” of past Bunny shows making fun of herself and the celebrity “reviewers” fake reviews as well. Then out came the Lady live singing witty, naughty parody after parody to the tune of well-known rock hits and an occasional show-tune such as “I’m Still Here” from Follies. She included hilarious homage to the ‘60s Laugh-In comedy show, doing her X-rated version of Goldie Hawn. Bunny not only sang, but also danced and hopped about and worked the runway like crazy. What a fierce fireball! And I was thrilled to get a shout-out to Sister Dana. At intermission, we were treated to more original videos of Bunny parodies, including “Going to the Chapel to Get Married” with a big dig at same-sex marriage hater, county clerk Kim Davis and her Kentucky inbreds. Bunny returned for Act Two in an entirely new flashy gown, sat down on a stool to tell tales of her woeful love life, and then broke into yet another series of politically incorrect parodies. After we hooted, hollered, and stomped for her encore,
This will be my last Thanksgiving piece, I promise. A lucky raffle winner went home with a TURKEY! Although some of our friends go home with a turkey all the time. Hang on to your GIBLETS because we had a spanking good time with KREWE DE KINQUE, our Mardi Gras based fundraising society, at our SPANKSGIVING beer bust benefit for JAZZIE’S PLACE (the LGBTQ homeless shelter) that we threw at the Edge bar. Hostess Queen IX BeBe Sweetbriar served up hot entertainment and THANKS for the support. King XII Gio gave spanks for charity. Queen XII Cotton Candy urged everyone to dig deep for charity. And Queen VII Sister Dana acted as door whore, selling beer busts to thirsty customers.
Sister Dana (far right) with (left to right) Gary Virginia, Gio Adame, Sister Anni, Tony Leo and BeBe Sweetbriar at the Krewe de Kinque benefit for the Jazzie’s Place shelter held on November 21 at the Edge bar in the Castro.
ABSOLUTELY FABULOUS LIVE: THE HOLIDAY EPISODES is at Oasis, 298 11th Street, December 2nd, 4th, 5th, 8th, 9th, and 10th,
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19
How Should We Speak to Each Other? Second Step: Focus on Needs, Not Judgments ments, and blaming each other.
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Examined Life Tom Moon, MFT In the previous issue of the San Francisco Bay Times, I said that the first step in practicing effective speech is to keep our eyes on the prize—to be constantly mindful of our intentions for speaking in the first place. What do I want in my life? I want to give and receive love. I want relationships with others to be mutually satisfying and fulfilling. For almost all of us, something like these are our deepest needs, and effective speech means making sure that how we speak is likely to bring us closer to meeting them. I also discussed a couple, Rubin and Alan, who have lost sight of what they really want, and who have become diverted instead into protecting their egos, winning argu-
One reason this happens with such depressing regularity is that most of us, in our conflicts, have been conditioned to take moralistic stances with each other. We frame the issues in terms of right and wrong, winning and losing. Whenever we do that, we lose contact with our intentions, which are always about values, needs, and feelings, and focus instead on trying to defeat the other person. It’s easy to see why this happens. When we feel unfairly criticized or threatened in any way, an almost automatic response is to close up emotionally. We typically don’t express our hurt, or our needs, because it feels dangerous to show any vulnerability at such a point. Instead, we go into aggressive/defensive stances, and focus on doing battle. When we do this, even people we love become the ‘Other,’ the enemy. It’s a natural response, but it should also be obvious that it’s virtually impossible for this stance to result in anything productive. What can we do instead? I think that an important first step, recognizing that our habitual, self-defeating modes of communication are deeply ingrained, is just to do or say nothing at all. Take a deep breath, take a time-
out if you can, let the adrenaline subside, and then ask yourself something like, “What unmet need of mine is provoking my anger right now?” Do your best to shift the focus from moralistic judgments of the other person to attention to your own needs and feelings in the situation. This is not always so easy to accomplish, because it means returning to openness and vulnerability, which can feel like a foolhardy thing to do in a conflict situation. But when we can make that shift, we often find that a perceptible shift also occurs in our bodies. We relax our armor a little, and feelings that we’ve suppressed come welling up—such as sadness, grief, hurt, longing, or frustration. Instead of the disconnection that self-righteous rage engenders, we deepen and make more contact with our own hearts. We access empathy and compassion for ourselves. And once we have accessed these feelings toward ourselves, we find it much easier to access the same empathy and compassion for the other person, too. Then the person we’re arguing with is no longer the adversarial Other, but someone we hold in our hearts with whom we are temporarily having difficulty. We’re empowered to discuss our disagreements with more openheartedness, asking ourselves and each other what we both need, and explor-
ing how we can cooperate in meeting those needs. How does this work in practice? Here’s an admittedly oversimplified example. Rubin and Alan, the couple I referred to above, are at each other’s throats about finances. Rubin accuses Alan of being a profligate spendthrift, and Alan accuses Rubin of being a joyless tightwad. When they drop the accusations and start to focus on their needs, Rubin is able to reveal his fear that they’ll run out of money and have nothing for their retirement. He needs safety, and he needs to feel that Alan is protective toward both of them. Alan, on the other hand, wants to give and receive generosity and share joy with Rubin. When they stop “shoulding” all over each other and start focusing instead on what each of them needs, their differences don’t disappear, but they’re much better equipped to discuss them with mutual empathy and respect; and are much more likely to find reasonable compromises. Next time, I’ll continue the theme of effective speech with a discussion of five traditional guidelines for avoiding speech that causes harm. Tom Moon is a psychotherapist in San Francisco. To learn more, please visit his website at tommoon.net
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BAY TIMES NOVEMB E R 2 6 , 2 0 1 5
GLBT Fortnight in Review
By Ann Rostow
NCLR to SCOTUS: Fix This I was struck by a headline the other day (November 18 if you want to nitpick) that read: “Supreme Court is Asked to Take Messy Interstate Case on Same-Sex Adoption.” The short article was written by veteran SCOTUS journalist Nina Totenberg, but as we all know, writers generally do not compose their own headlines, ergo Totenberg cannot be blamed. Blamed for what, you ask? Blamed for the adjective “messy” to describe one of the cleanest legal cases to descend on the GL BT communit y since marriage equality, that’s what. Yes, I’m sure that the war between the longtime lesbian partners known as VL and EL could be described as “messy.” But the decision by the Alabama Supreme Court to turn a blind eye to the legal adoptions performed by the courts in Georgia is anything but. Indeed, it is a very clear, simple and direct violation of the Full Faith and Credit Clause that requires sister states to honor “ judgments.” Backing up for a minute, there was a time when many of us thought the Full Faith and Credit Clause would be used to oblige sister states to recognize same-sex marriages across borders. But we were all disabused of that belief years ago, when it became clear that marriage was not considered a “ judgment” per se. Despite its seemingly broad language, the Clause basically covers court rulings, not things like marriage licenses. A divorce, for example, must be recognized from state to state. A marriage, up until the High Court’s marriage ruling last summer, not so much. But prior to their breakup, a judge in Georgia banged the gavel on adoptions that gave VL the status of parent to the three kids (two are twins) her partner carried through artificial insemination. And with that, VL became a legal mother. Not a de facto parent, not a sort of mother, not an aunt or friend of the family, but a legal mother to those children for all time and throughout the country and the world. Now, astonishingly, after two other Alabama courts agreed with the obvious state of affairs, the state’s highest court has ruled that the Georgia court misunderstood its own state law and that the adoptions were never valid. Keep in mind that it is not up to Alabama to mull over the decisions of a Georgia court. A federal court can do so, but a sister state cannot. There is nothing messy or complicated about the ruling of the Alabama supremes. It is jaw droppingly unconstitutional and outrageous. Here’s hoping the High Court agrees with VL’s counsel at the National Center for Lesbian Rights, who called the decision “terrifying.” VL is now barred from visiting the kids she has raised since birth, who are now between the ages of ten and twelve, but NCLR has asked the nine justices to suspend the Alabama order at once and allow visitation while litigation is pending. Sooner Justice By contrast, on November 17 the Oklahoma Supreme Court ruled that a lesbian had standing to argue for visitation or custody in a case where the woman in question had no adoption papers or technical status. Kimberly Sutton and Charlene Ramey got together over a decade ago, held a commitment ceremony of some sort in 2004, and had a child (by Sutton) in 2005. After breaking up, Sutton convinced a lower court that Ramey had no legal connection to their son, but the high court, taking into account the Supreme Court’s two mar-
riage opinions, ruled that Ramey was acting “in loco parentis” and could seek a role in her son’s life through the family courts.
We went through a long period of lesbians behaving badly back in the 90s and early 2000s, with dozens of cases of mean biological mothers fighting their desperate ex-partners through successions of courts and legal motions. I’m assuming that our sisters dominated these family feuds because more lesbians formed families, but who knows? Maybe our gay brothers put their kids’ happiness before their personal hostilities. (Nah. I’m sticking with theory number one.) I hope we are seeing the end of these prolonged battles in legal no-man’s land. One of the benefits of marriage equality is that we can now use the family court system just like our embattled heterosexual divorcing neighbors. There is no longer a need to make legal history each time we have a really nasty breakup with kids involved. Marriage Mop-Up Continues Meanwhile, marriage equality warriors continue to fight a few rear guard actions, but on the whole, it feels as if the country has accepted our new status and is willing to move along. The Mississippi Supreme Court reluctantly approved a lesbian divorce the other day, with two justices writing in dissent that the Supreme Court’s equality ruling was not worth spit. And I assume you read about that judge in Utah who decided on his own that two married women were not proper foster mothers and ordered their foster baby removed from their household during what was supposed to be a routine hearing of some sort. Happily, everyone complained from the governor on down, and the judge reversed himself. The baby stayed with the moms, but I guess the entire process is not complete, so we’ll see. The women were hoping to adopt the baby, whose father is in prison and whose mother has relinquished her maternal rights to the state. Tiki Bar Will Call You Mel and I are off on a road trip to South Padre Island, that little tip at the bottom of Texas, where the Internet tells me it is sunny and warm. But first, I must finish getting all of you up to date on GLBT news! If you were all here at my side, dear Readers, I would ask you if you really cared that much. Surely the above discussion of marital litigation was enough for you on a holiday week, when the trials and tribulations of our larger community are set on the back burner as the roasted turkey and sweet potato pie take center stove? OK, OK, I’ll keep going, if you insist. No matter that I won’t get to the beach until six pm. The piña colada will wait. My dearest cousin flew me to the Yale Harvard game last week, where discussions of micro-aggression and trigger warnings were conducted over Champagne and cheese biscuits by middle-aged lawyers and hedge fund managers at the various tailgates. I actually missed them because I got lost among the tailgates and my phone didn’t work, but after wandering aimlessly, one woman who had seen me earlier asked me if I found my friends (no) and if I wanted a drink (God, yes). I said I’d have whatever she was having and she promptly opened a bottle of Perrier Jouet Belle Epoque. (Okay, then!) Here in Austin, we tailgate with Lone Star, but I had no complaints except for the Yale football team, which humiliated the Eli fan base with a sad defeat. I indulged my streak of Ivy League and fine wine elitism, which adds nothing more than a colorful band to my otherwise politically cor-
rect liberal lesbian feminist credentials. Or does it? A recurring mental debate. Occupy Police Station Bench Moving on, my favorite legal source, Art Leonard of NYU, reported on the case of a transman, Justin Adkins, who was arrested during the Occupy Wall Street protests, and initially tossed into a cell with a bunch of other guys. Nobody complained about the situation, but when the cops figured out that the prisoner was transgendered, he was pulled out of the cell and handcuffed to a bench for seven hours without food or care.
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Adkins filed suit against the city in federal court on a number of claims, most of which were dismissed. And here’s the big news. On his Equal Protection complaint, the judge ruled on November 15 that transgender plaintiffs should be evaluated under heightened scrutiny, placing the burden of proof on the city of New York rather than the plaintiff.
www.marcumllp.com
The judge based his determination on the Windsor precedent. You remember, of course, that Edie Windsor was the New York widow who challenged, and defeated the Defense of Marriage Act before the Supreme Court. Her case went through the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Second Circuit, where the appellate panel ruled that a violation of Equal Protection based on sexual orientation should be evaluated with heightened scrutiny. Here, Judge Jed Rakoff (who is obliged to follow Second Circuit precedent) took the next logical step, ruling that the transgender community, like gays and lesbians, also qualifies for the same kind of legal evaluation that governs cases based on race or gender, where one “suspects” that discriminatory intent is at play. Why is this so important? Because as long as the GLBT community is not protected under federal law, and as long as courts refuse to acknowledge that discrimination runs beneath most of our civil rights complaints, we remain vulnerable to the whims and vagaries of the legal system. Once courts begin to agree that our cases deserve heightened scrutiny as a matter of law, that vulnerability is correspondingly replaced by strong protection. So this is good. Take These Guys Out! In the category of people we do not want to be gay, please add missing Paris terrorist Salah Abdeslam, who is rumored to frequent gay bars and smoke weed. Come on, man. You cannot be a member of our community. Plus, aren’t these jokers supposed to be super religious, abstaining from sex and booze and all things western? He also likes games on Playstation, so they say. Maybe some of his buddies will read the same article and toss him off a roof. Ann, did you just advocate summary execution for being gay? Um, yes. But only if you’re also one of the Paris terrorists. You know, it’s not as if religion is an excuse for mass murder, but they can’t even claim a faith-based motive. Remember how a number of the 9/11 killers spent their last nights living it up at clubs? Didn’t Bin Ladin have a porn stash? These guys are nothing but violent nihilists and I, for one, would like to see most of them end it all in a giant mass suicide staged in the middle of nowhere. By the way, when I was in high school and college, we used to call marijuana “dope,” a modern misnomer I discov(continued on page 30)
Nanette Lee Miller 415.432.6200 I nanettelee.miller@marcumllp.com International Member of Leading Edge Alliance
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An Eleventh Grader Reviews the 2007 Award-Winning Film Milk Teacher Lyndsey Schlax of the Ruth Asawa San Francisco School of the Arts is teaching the nation’s first on-site high school LGBT course, according to district officials. In this column, students from her class will be anonymously sharing with the San Francisco Bay Times their thoughts about related matters, and what they are learning in the groundbreaking course, “LGBTQ Studies.” Student- 11th Grade In a good film, the acting performances, the direction, the score, the set, as well as other technicalities have to be up to par. But what really takes any film from good to great is the way that it can capture a mood. In Gus Van Sant’s 2007 film Milk, I felt the mood of the setting and time period comes across impeccably. Throughout the film, I felt as though I was truly there in San Francisco in the 70s with Harvey Milk and his posse as they battled for civil rights. There were several components in the film that put the viewer right in the passenger seat of the story, but one of the most powerful was the fact that all of the characters were made extremely likeable. It is hard to get invested in a story when you feel no empathy for the characters, but Van Sant was able to ensure that the characters were likeable and relatable enough to capture the attention of an audience and hold it for the entire length of the film. For example, all of Milk’s love interests throughout the movie, while adding quirky elements, keep with the tone of the movie without being too goofy or distracting too much from the core aspects. They were like a pleasant spice that added to the flavor of the movie without overpowering it. Another aspect of the film that really worked was the pacing. The movie was shot in such a way that as the characters developed and moved forward, you as a
Student Voices watcher developed and began to care more and more about them. I love how the movie turns Milk from a sweet, loveable person in the beginning of the film (when his romance with James Franco’s character is highlighted), to a powerful, strong politician helping to carry a city. You feel like you are truly growing with Milk and the story of the overwhelming odds that he overcame is heartwarming to the viewer. The final scene in the movie is one of the most well directed scenes that I have watched in a long time. In the end, Harvey Milk is assassinated by Dan White, another member of the Board of Supervisors. It is a tremendously tragic affair. The story alone is enough to push someone to tears, but something in the film that stood out to me was the way that that shot was directed and edited. The scene opens with a shot of Milk looking out of his office window over the San Francisco Opera house. This is symbolic of the great role that the opera had played in his life. This image is especially powerful and melancholy because in Milk’s life, the opera always was something to bring him through times of stress. The symbolism of Milk looking out at the opera house in the last moments of his life is beautiful. The intensity of the scene only increases from there. When White comes into Milk’s office and points a gun at Harvey, Milk instinctively puts his hands in front of his chest to give himself the illusion that he could be more protected. The first bullet goes right (continued on page 30)
A MONTHLY HIGHLIGHT FROM THE DE YOUNG AND LEGION OF HONOR
A Modigliani Gender-Bending Masterpiece at the de Young Artist Amedeo Modigliani had a short and tragic life, dying at age 35 of tubercular meningitis after years of alcoholism. Upon hearing of his death, his young pregnant lover, Jeanne Hébuterne, became inconsolable and committed suicide by jumping out of a fifth-floor window. The couple left behind an earlier born daughter, also named Jeanne (1918–1984). Modigliani’s personal problems faded away in his affectionate portrait of his close friend Pierre-Edouard Baranowski, an early 20th century poet. The two used to frequent Montparnasse cafes in France, as well as art shows throughout Paris. Baranowski comes across as androgynous and graceful, with his soft painted lips curled in a contemplative, subtle smile. It is easy to get lost in such a painting, imagining the vibrant artistic period in which it was painted and admiring Baranowski’s beauty as well as Modigliani’s skill in capturing it. Such moments can provide the perfect antidote to the hectic holiday season, so please consider seeking out this 1918 masterpiece at the de Young when time allows. The work is in the museum’s permanent collection. For more information about this work, please visit: https:// art.famsf.org/amedeomodigliani/pierre-edouardbaranowski-1981237 A303820 Amedeo Modigliani Pierre-Edouard Baranowski, 1918. Oil on hardboard, 24 13/16 x 18 ½ in. Fine Arts Museums of San Francisco
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Dispatch from Bratislava
Marriage Equality John Lewis Marriage Equality USA When our 18-year-old niece told us she would be spending a gap year between high school and college in the capital of Slovakia, Bratislava, we must confess that we had to doublecheck the map of eastern and central Europe to locate exactly where Bratislava was. But no sooner had we found it, we realized that visiting her there would provide the perfect opportunity to explore a region where we had never been before. We soon began making travel plans with her and reaching out to LGBT activists in Slovakia about our trip. As luck would have it, I arrived the weekend of the annual Slovak Queer Film Festival. 2015 has been a somewhat difficult year for LGBT people in Slovakia. In February, the community had faced a nationwide referendum to reenact by popular vote the country’s existing constitutional ban on same-sex marriage. The Slovakian Catholic Church strongly supported the measure. Although
those who voted favored the measure by over 90 percent, the referendum failed because only 21 percent of the electorate turned out, far short of the required 50 percent for the vote to have legal effect. Still, the antiLGBT campaign had taken its toll, and Bratislava Pride organizers cancelled this year’s Pride celebration because of the poisonous atmosphere the referendum created. Neo-Nazis had disrupted Bratislava’s first Pride march five years ago, although the march had taken place peacefully in subsequent years. The activists invited me to make a presentation (which they entitled “From California with Love”) at the LGBT film festival. They said that they had just endured their own Proposition 8, and they were eager to hear our experiences and talk about the way forward. It was a great opportunity to connect with the LGBT community in Bratislava, and I found we had much in common. The film festival, now in its 9th year, in fact featured some of the films presented at Frameline’s San Francisco International LGBTQ Film Festival and, as in the U.S., transgender awareness and visibility were a burgeoning part of the festival. Also like the U.S. historically, many LGBT people from rural or mountainous parts of Slovakia seem to come to the “big city,” Bratislava (whose population is only 500,000), to live a more open life. Also as in the U.S., Slovakian LGBT activists saw coming out as critical to building the movement and gaining support there.
Despite the referendum campaign and the formidable legal obstacles to gaining marriage equality soon, Slovakian activists are moving forward strategically. They are seeking to defuse polarization in the country and are providing platforms for LGBT Slovakians to tell their personal stories in their own words so that people learn that LGBT people are their neighbors, colleagues, and family members. Some non-LGBT people we talked to speculate that the Communist period in Slovakia had set the LGBT movement in the country back for decades because, during that time, it was not possible for LGBT people to come out and for public discussion to take place. But one LGBT activist, underscoring the sense of urgency she and many others feel, countered that it had now been over a quarter century since the end of Communist rule, and that 25 years was plenty of time to make up for lost years. LGBT people told us that they understood that the process took time, but that they were trying to press the accelerator pedal. Legislatively, activists are now proposing a life partnership law with all the rights and protections of marriage, available to all couples, not just LGBT couples. Indeed, nearly 40 percent of Slovakian children are now born to parents who are not married. The most recent polling shows that 50.4 percent of Slovakians support such a law. Unlike the
Weddings Reverend Elizabeth River When the two of you have been together for a while, and it seems like the time is right, how do you reach a clear, solid decision on how and when to get married? Start by having a simple conversation, asking the questions you each have, and listening carefully to your partner’s answers. Any answer can lead to a bigger discussion, too. It is all helpful! Examples: • Are you ready for us to get married, because I feel I am? • What are the pros? What are the cons? • Should we have a big wedding, a small one, or just a private elopement? • What financial impact will this have on us? • What will be different for us as a married couple, as opposed to how we are now? As you allow your questions and answers to lead into a conversation, more ideas and thoughts will arise.
Decide if you need any kind of outside professional help, before you get into the specifics of the actual wedding. I’m thinking of a therapist, a clergy person or spiritual guide, or a trusted person or couple who can help you look at areas you might not have considered. If you have decided upon a big wedding, think about hiring a wedding or event planner. Unless your actual job has been event planning, putting together a big wedding will take a huge toll on you without this! Even putting together a smaller, less-complex wedding can be a huge overwhelming effort, possibly for months on end especially if you’re the worrier A-type, who has to make sure even the tiniest detail has to be perfect. You can really make yourself crazy this way, and who wants to start their marriage feeling crazed! (There’s time enough for that after you’re married!)
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T REAT YOURSELF TO AN E XCITING C ULINARY A DVENTURE WITH M ICHELIN S TAR C HEF S RIJITH G OPINATHAN
(continued on page 30) Spice Pot — Chef’s interpretation of traditional Indian street food with vegetables, tamarind chutney, and chickpea crackers.
Considering Getting Married? The conversation will expand this way. You might start to take notes, if that’s your style, which can become the basis of a wedding plan.
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your wedding together, it is as though you’re on a fast train with no stops. You won’t have time for this kind of quiet reflection at all until the big day. It also goes without saying that when you, or your wedding coordinator, is putting together all of the people who will be part of your wedding, do not leave finding your officiant until the last minute! This is someone who is going to create and facilitate the ceremony, the centerpiece of the wedding, reflecting who you are as well as your vows and promises to one another. Many officiants such as myself get booked up well in advance, so ample advance planning is essential. Rev. Elizabeth River is an ordained interfaith minister and wedding officiant in the North Bay. Please visit www.marincoastweddings.com or look for Marin Coast Weddings on Facebook.
Here is where I recommend you pause, as a couple, and take some time off from your jobs and your everyday life and go away for a little retreat. Spend the weekend giving yourselves time for quiet talks and even solitude, to assimilate your ideas so far, and just to allow some space for meditation, making art, walking, and being in nature. In short, this should be some Elizabeth River (top right) with officiant and San Francontemplative spiritual time, cisco Bay Times columnist Howard Steiermann (top because once you start to put left) at a co-facilitated wedding conducted in 2014.
Journey along India’s Spice Route by way of California at five-time Michelin star winner Campton Place. Chef Srijith’s cuisine masterfully blends the finest local produce with the richness of the region’s seasonal bounty. Enjoy a six-course Spice Route menu or indulge in our ninecourse Degustation menu. For those with lighter appetites we offer a three-course Theatre Menu and Vegetarian Tasting menu.
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From the Coming Up Events Calendar See page 28 Monday, Dec.,1 - Light in the Grove - National AIDS Memorial Grove. $200+. 7–9 pm. (Nancy Pelosi Dr.) http://www.aidsmemorial.org/ events/2015-light-in-the-grove
Friday, November 27 - Harvey Milk Annual Memorial March (37th Annual) - Harvey Milk Plaza. Free. 6 pm. (2401 Market St.) https://www. facebook.com/events/1043370785683547/
Interview with Todd Haynes, Director of the Stunning New Lesbian Drama Carol
Film Gary M. Kramer Carol, opening November 27, is Todd Haynes’ stunning adaption of Patricia Highsmith’s classic lesbian novel “The Price of Salt.” The film portrays the relationship between two women, Therese (Rooney Mara) and Carol (Cate Blanchett), who become romantically involved in the 1950s. In a recent meeting, Haynes talked about the appeal of working in past eras. “What I like about period films is that you are holding up a frame that you are asking the audience to look into. I get to live a little in each period when I make a film, and feel like I’ve actually been there even when every piece of it, like Far From Heaven, is a refusal of what ‘authentic history’ of that time is about,” he said. “We are solely in the artificial language of Hollywood backlot filmmaking in the moment of high melodrama. There is nothing more true than that false language. People would come out of Far From Heaven and say, ‘That’s exactly what life was really like!’ Wow, I refused every element of ‘really like.’” Haynes then added, “How much do movies affect our memories and senses of what’s real anyway? What I think great movies do, is, whenever we feel something in a movie, it’s our emotions, it’s not something the movie is producing; we’re producing the emotions.” Haynes produces considerable emotions for both the audiences and the characters in Carol as this slow-burn relationship comes to various romantic and dramatic climaxes. Haynes creates tremendous suspense and desire as the women navigate their relationship, first getting to know one another over an awkward lunch, then taking a road trip together, before various situations threaten to tear their love apart. The director acknowledges creating the sexual tension, thusly. “The viewer is wondering: How is it going to happen? What’s going to happen? Every time they go to bed and we cut to the next morning, you think, did something happen? Did I miss it? The audience is in this state of pensive over-reading as well as Therese, and that’s exactly what Therese is experiencing.” When he first read a draft of the screenplay, Haynes said there was a
congeniality between the two characters that wasn’t as pronounced in the book. “I said to Phyllis [Nagy, the screenwriter], I loved the anxiety in the book, I want to put some of that back in. And she said, ‘Yes!’ In trying to get the movie made, we tried to soften the edges a bit and make it more palatable for financiers, and everyone’s a little more warm and fuzzy. She was so happy to let that go.” Moreover, the actresses worked with Haynes to shape their characters and create the relationship. The filmmaker recalls, “In our rehearsal period—two weeks, which is a lot of time for a lowbudget film—we would read scenes and Rooney would say, ‘Does she need to say that?’ And we’d cut it out. And Cate would say, ‘We could simplify that.’ It was a process of reduction, and that continued, that distillation process.” The film benefits from the frisson between the two heroines. Haynes commended his actresses for “bringing incredible integrity and serious attention to detail to everything they do.”
He explained the intricacies of Blanchett having to play Therese’s image of Carol and the person Carol at the same time because so much of the film is from Therese’s perspective. In contrast, because the film was shot out of order, Rooney had to go back and forth between playing the young Therese and the older Therese. Does Haynes, who elicits remarkable performances from his leading ladies consider himself a “woman’s director” in the George Cukor mold from classic Hollywood? “I don’t know that I would identify with Cukor as much as Douglas Sirk or Rainer Werner Fassbinder,” he observed. “The women in Cukor’s films are these extraordinary women who own the frame, and they are outrageously unique. They are awe-inspiring, triumphant—there are exceptions, of course. I am more drawn to these stories of women who aren’t triumphant, and who aren’t awe-inspiring, and who aren’t exemplary, and who are actually, very ordinary. Smaller people by the
Todd Haynes
end of the film than they were at the beginning.” Tellingly, Haynes, who is currently in a stable 10-year long relationship, identifies with characters like Therese. He admitted, “I was a Therese, and always bent out of shape over obsessive love and obsessive analysis of the outcomes and how much power the other held over me. In an earlier time in my life, after a certain bout of hardship and pain that was transformative—creatively, and in terms of life and where I am, and how I live in the world—I don’t find myself having returned to that space.”
Then, after a beat, he added, “Maybe I will again.” © 2015 Gary M. Kramer Gary M. Kramer is the author of “Independent Queer Cinema: Reviews and Interviews,” and the co-editor of “Directory of World Cinema: Argentina.” Follow him on Twitter @garymkramer
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What Helps and Hurts When Learning to Write
Words Michele Karlsberg Michele Karlsberg: What did you find most useful in learning to write? What was the least useful or most destructive? Felice Picano: Aside from the basic English 101 class everyone took, I never had a writing course, and therefore I suppose I never leaned to write. I was an art major in college, and I took some literature classes to hang with friends. I looked for art jobs and I kept getting shunted into assistant editor/writer jobs. There, I was half-assedly taught on the run how to do commercial journalism. Suddenly, one day, people said I was a writer. I’d been fooling around with stories, so when I quit work as a magazine editor, I sat down and wrote a novel. It found an agent, and although it never sold, another agent eventually took me on. I taught myself poetry by trying out all the poetic forms and rhyme schemes. I began playwriting because someone wanted to adapt a story of mine to the stage. When I looked at their attempt, I said, “I can do better than that.” I did. Four more plays have been produced. I learned to write screenplays by studying
one that I swiped from a film producer’s office after I’d signed his contract. I wrote it using an aqua-ink Olivetti at the Beverly Hills Hotel last used by Kim Novak for thank you notes. I think the most destructive thing for most real writers is an MFA in Creative Writing. Non-genre writing accounts for less than 10% of all fiction sold; yet that is what is overwhelmingly taught. Actually, all they’re teaching is how to teach other people creative writing so they can then get an MFA and teach other students. Felice Picano is the author of more than thirty books of poetry, fiction, memoirs, nonfiction and plays. His work has been translated into many languages, and several of his titles have been national and international bestsellers. http://www.felicepicano.net/ Sally Bellerose: I always liked stories and had a fire in the belly to write about the lives of the working poor and working class. In my youth, bringing up my beautiful son, making a living and going to nursing school, life in general distracted me from writing these stories. Also, truth be told, I had a chip on my shoulder. I was a working class girl with a shaky education who wanted to write about people like me. Who would want to read those stories? But in the late 1980’s I joined The Valley Lesbian Writers Group. I was in
my thirties. The group scared the crap out of me. I lived in the town I was born in. Most of the women in the group lived a few towns over in my longed for haven, the hip lesbionic town of Northampton, MA. These writers knew the difference between their, they’re and there. They took my work seriously. Their feedback was a revelation. Critique from trusted writers made me understand that clarity, honesty, a whole lot of work and revision are necessary to write the stories I want to tell. Writing, more writing, and other writers are what remain most useful in my learning to write. I have found that dancing around what I mean to say is the quickest way to destroy a sentence or a story. I do better when I come right out and say it. If I can’t make a sentence pretty or profound, at least I can strive to make it understandable. There is always revision. Sally Bellerose is author of “The Girls Club,” Bywater Books, winner of many awards including an NEA Fellowship. Her current project, a novel entitled “Fishwives,” features old women behaving badly. https://sallybellerose.wordpress.com/ Michele Karlsberg Marketing and Management specializes in publicity for the LGBT community. This year, Karlsberg celebrates twenty-six years of successful book campaigns.
Round About - Annual F Line Streetcar Party Photos by Steven Underhill stevenunderhill.com The season of holiday parties has begun, and a unique one was an annual “cruise” down Market Street aboard No. 228, a vintage street car built in 1934 in Blackpool, England. Held on Sunday, November 15, the moving party made its way to and from the Castro along the F Line route to Pier 39. Host Skye Patterson, a member of the Richmond/Ermet Aid Foundation board and Castro on Patrol, along with some guests and a very lucky pup, carried out the “cruise” theme by wearing sailing attire. Find our more about San Francisco’s historic street car fleet: streetcar.org/ streetcars/
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Happy Holidays from Castro Merchants! By Daniel Bergerac Businesses in the Castro and Upper Market neighborhoods of San Francisco are ready for one of their brightest, most exciting and best year-end holiday seasons in years. Lots of holiday decorations sponsored by Castro Merchants are appearing, including the 28’ brightly decorated and lit Holiday Tree at Castro and 18th Streets, gold and silver ribbons on Upper Market Street median palm trees between Church Street and Octavia Blvd. and, again this year, warm white lights glowing every evening on street trees along Upper Market from Church to Castro Streets. Castro Merchants also will welcome everyone from the neighborhood and beyond at its Annual Holiday Tree Lighting Ceremony on Monday, November 30, starting at 6:00 pm at the Tree (Castro & 18th Streets). Emceed by everyone’s beloved Queen of the Castro, Empress Donna Sachet, the lighting will include holiday music from many traditions by the San Francisco Lesbian/Gay Freedom Band, Lesbian/Gay Chorus of San
Francisco, and the San Francisco Gay Men’s Chorus. Expect audience singalongs too! There will be greetings from local and City officials and an invitation to “Shop, Drink and Dine” later that evening throughout the Upper Market/Castro area. All will be topped by the arrival “Code 3” (courtesy of the S.F. Police Department’s Mission Station) of Santa and his elves. They will then flip the magic switch to light up the tree that will glow through New Years Day. The Castro offers gift ideas and shopping from high fashion to funky, with fun and practical in between. Don’t forget to have some warm holiday gettogethers with friends and loved ones at our great restaurants and watering holes. There is no need to travel to crowded shopping areas and malls; we’ve got it all right here, for you. Please come and join us this holiday season. Shop and Dine in local businesses! Daniel Bergerac is the President of Castro Merchants.
Annual Tree Lighting Ceremony
PHOTOS BY RINK
Monday, November 30, 6:00 PM Castro & 18th Streets Empress Donna Sachet, Emcee Daniel Bergerac, Castro Merchants Association San Francisco Gay Men’s Chorus San Francisco Lesbian / Gay Freedom Band Lesbian / Gay Chorus of San Francisco
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compiled by Jennifer Mullen
• 26 : T HURSDAY
Blur: Transgender and Gender-Variant Support Group – Dimensions Clinic. Free. 6:30 pm. (3850 17th St.) chat with other trans & gv people, facilitated by trans counselors. For 18-25 year old youth. At Dimensions Clinic. www.dimensionsclinic.org Every Thursday. Lesbians of Color Discussion Group at Pacific – Pacific Center (Berkeley). Free. 7 pm. (2712 Telegraph Ave.) This racially diverse group discusses anything and everything.
• 27 : F RIDAY
Harvey Milk Memorial March (37th Annual) - Harvey Milk Plaza. Free. 6 pm. (2401 Market St.) Join the Harvey Milk LGBT Democratic Club, guest speakers, and community members in memory of LGBT pioneers Supervisor Harvey Milk and Mayor George Moscone, killed 37 years ago, with a brief talk and candlelit walk through the Castro. www.facebook.com/
events/1043370785683547/ Ghirardelli Square’s 51st Annual Tree Lighting Ghirardelli Square. Free. 4–9 pm. (900 North Point St.) This holiday event features live music, entertainment and the lighting of a 60-foot Christmas Tree. www.ghirardellisq. com/events/ Queer Youth Game Night – LGBT Center. Free. 2:30-4 pm. Join the center for game night, with video games, board games and more. Drop in space for LGBTQ youth 24 and under. www.sfcenter.org/programs/youth
• 28 : S ATURDAY
Gay Shame Meeting at Modern Times Bookstore. – Free. 5:30-6:30 pm. 2912 24th St. Dedicated to fighting gay shame. www.facebook.com/gay.shame
• 30 : M ONDAY
Light in the Grove – National AIDS Memorial Grove. $200+. 7–9 pm. (Nancy Pelosi Dr.) On the eve of World AIDS Day, the National
CALIFOR NIA REVELS PRESENTS THE 30TH ANNUAL
A VENETIAN MASQUE
Celebrating the Winter Solstice in Renaissance Italy Two Weekends: December 11 – 13 & 18–20, 2015 Ticket prices start at just $20. Scottish Rite Theater on Lake Merritt, Oakland californiarevels.org 510.452.9334
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Monday Night Marsh - The Marsh. $8. 7:30 pm. (1062 Valencia St.) An ongoing works-in-progress series, featuring local emerging solo performers, musicians, playwrights and entertainers. Happening every Monday. www.themarsh.org
• 1 : T UESDAY
QCC Holiday Mixer - San Francisco LGBT Community Center. Free. 6–9 pm. (1800 Market St.) Don’t miss this opportunity to join QCC’s artists, volunteers, board, staff, donors and audiences www.facebook.com/ events/794491954006213/ World AIDS Day National Obsevance - Intersection of Nancy Pelosi and Bowling Green Drives. Free. 11 am. This year’s theme is Surviving Voices: Enduring Stories of Hope. www.aidsmemorial.org Singing With Instruments: A Five-Week Class for LGBTQ People and Allies First Congressional Church of Oakland (Choir Room). $180– $210, and sliding scale. 7–9 pm. (2501 Harrison St.) A community singing class for transgender, queer, lesbian, bisexual, and gay people and allies who want to develop their singing voices. Participants should be able to carry a tune; an ability to play an instrument is not required. Email SingWithEli@gmail.com
A preview of the Christmas classic by Charles Dickens. Music by Karl Lundeberg and directed by Domenique Lozano. Evening is also a bike to the theater night! Through December 27. www.tickets.act-sf. org/online/default.asp Joy To The World from Transcendence’s Broadway Under The Stars - Well Fargo Center for the Arts (Santa Rosa). $35–$129. 7:30 pm. (50 Mark West Springs Rd.) Sonoma’s Transcendence Theatre Company
presents their first holiday show in a limited run. www.broadwaywellsfargo.com Improvised Downton Abbey – Bayfront Theater. $17–$20. 8–10 pm. (B350 Fort Mason Cntr.) World-class improvisors give their take on the very popular T.V. show. The audience’s suggestions help develop a new cast of characters featured in holiday season scenarios. Through December 19. www.improv.org
This December at the Market! DECEMBER 16: The market closes for the season today. See you next year! PAMELA SOAPS: Natural handmade soaps using pure, aromatherapy-grade essential oils, the finest saponified vegetable oils and organic botanicals. ALLARD FARMS: Organic pears, persimmons, apples, guavas and walnuts ready for homemade pies for the family. HAPPY BOY FARM: Organic butternut squash, kale, and collards and delicious and fresh salad mix to go with your hearty meals for the month. CHANTAL GUILLON MACARONS: Several flavors of traditional French macarons ranging in tastes from Persian Rose to salted caramel and everything in between. pcfma.org
1.800.949.FARM F
fb.com/castrofarmersmarket
DESIGN : LOGOMAN : logomantotherescue.com
AIDS Memorial Grove will once again hold this annual fundraiser in Golden Gate park with cocktails, hors d’oeuvres and dinner, and featuring music, performance, art and evocative light displays. http://www.aidsmemorial.org/ events/2015-light-in-the-grove
• 2 : W EDNESDAY
World Tree of Hope Tree Lighting Ceremony- San Francisco City Hall. 5:30-8 pm. Tree lighting ceremony and concert by San Francisco Boys Chorus with emcee Cheryl Jennings, Mayor Ed Lee, Deputy Consul General of Japan Nobuhiro Watanabe, Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence and more. www.rainbowfund.org/tree/ Celebrating the Phoenix with Chip Conley- Tenderloin Museum. Free. 6:30 pm. (398 Eddy St.) Chip Conley, owner of the Phoenix Hotel, will give a talk about the famous hotel’s history. www.facebook.com/ events/1719862194908467/ The Mask You Live In – Castro Theater. Free. Doors at 7 pm, Screening at 8 pm. (429 Castro St.) The Mask You Live In follows boys and young men as they struggle to stay true to themselves while negotiating America’s narrow view of masculinity. www.therepresentationproject.org/film/the-mask-youlive-in/#sthash.PKPsTpNQ.dpuf
• 3 : T HURSDAY
The Golden Girls: The Christmas Episodes (2015). Victoria Theatre - $25. Thursday – Saturday at 8 pm. Sundays at 7 pm. (2961 16th St.) Four talented drag actors perform two classic Christmas-theme Golden Girls episodes, featuring Heklina, Matthew Martin, Holotta Tymes and D’Arcy Drollinger. Only 12 performances. www.facebook.com/ events/938751199495332/
• 4 : F RIDAY
A Christmas Carol - American Conservatory Theater on Geary. $20–$105. 7 pm. (405 Geary Ave.) BAY T IM ES NOVEM BER 26, 2015
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ADELMAN (continued from page 8 ) ing to hire someone to help. But I never really understood how complex, difficult and expensive it all is. I am still easily exhausted by rehab and from focusing on the things I have to do to get well. I have little energy left to work out schedules, the coming and going of the aids and adapting to having them here in my home. If I didn’t have friends to help with the logistics, I would be in real trouble.” The good news is that there is a small, but expanding, network of LGBT aging and LGBT senior competent services in place to assist people to continue to live at home and to thrive in community. Three innovative organizations in San Francisco are the San Francisco Village and Next Village. Both are mainstream LGBT welcoming, non-profit, membership-driven organizations that help members as requested, coordinate volunteers, and also provide health, wellness and social programs. Openhouse, a nonprofit LGBT agency, helps seniors remain in their homes and community by providing support groups, a friendly home visitors program, health and wellness programs, free medical consultations, housing counseling, housing itself, community events, LGBT senior cultural competency training for senior service providers and agencies, and information and referral about other services and resources.
In New York City, SAGE provides social activities and programs as well as national advocacy work. It is home to the National LGBT Resource Center. The Los Angeles LGBT Center—Senior LGBT Services provides affordable housing counseling and a wide range of services and programs. In Chicago, the Center on Halsted provides an array of senior services and programs and, in partnership with Heartland Alliance, offers LGBT friendly senior apartments. However, most large cities lack LGBT friendly services related to the housing or services that seniors need. The development of low-income LGBT senior housing projects with supportive services is taking place around the country: Los Angeles; Chicago; Washington, D.C.; Philadelphia; Minneapolis; Sacramento; Cleveland and San Francisco. The project by San Francisco’s Openhouse is unique in offering services and resources not only for their housing residents, but also serving as a hub for LGBT seniors citywide as well. We can expect that half of the estimated 6 million LGBT seniors in 2030 will need some kind of assistance, and that people will continue to prefer aging in their homes and in their communities. We can best pre-
pare for this longevity wave by doing the following: • Assure that more federal, state and local support leads to increases in the supply of affordable housing with services for all seniors, as well as the development of more LGBT-friendly senior housing with services • Reward innovative housing programs that create more housing options • Increase funding for LGBT senior cultural competency training to make all senior services and senior housing more LGBT competent and friendly • Target funding that encourages and supports partnerships and collaborations between mainstream for-profit senior providers and LGBT senior non-profits • Increase capacity building funding for existing LGBT aging infrastructure to ensure a smart and effective response that will keep pace with the growing senior population This is a time of great opportunity, if we have the courage and vision to meet the future head on. Marcy Adelman, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist in private practice, is co-founder of the non-profit organization Openhouse and was a leading member of the San Francisco LGBT Aging Policy Task Force.
MANDELMAN (continued from page 9) bargain to establish San Francisco’s housing trust fund, the City actually reduced the inclusionary housing requirement for new construction (to 12% onsite or 20% offsite) and ensured that any future increases in that requirement would have to go to the voters. In our current affordable housing crisis, and with the City having negotiated significantly larger inclusionary percentages for the Giants’ Mission Rock development near the ballpark and Forest City’s 5M project in SOMA, I am hearing a growing number of voices saying it is time to go back to the voters to establish a higher inclusionary requirement for all projects. Meanwhile, those of you following City College developments will
have heard the latest bad news for the Commission: on November 17, the Board of Governors overseeing California’s community college system directed the State Chancellor to develop a plan and timeline for moving the 113-college system to a new accreditor. The decision followed on the issuance in August of the California Community College Accreditation Task Force Report, which was highly critical of the Commission, concluding that it had lost the confidence of its member institutions and ought to be replaced. In December, I and a number of others from City College of San Francisco and other California community colleges will be traveling to Washington, D.C., to testify before
the National Advisory Committee on Institutional Quality and Integrity regarding our experience with the Commission. I know lots of City College folks are feeling vindicated now that the Commission itself is feeling some heat; unfortunately, though, as I have described in this column before, the harms to the College done by the Commission’s threats to close the institution—declining enrollment, financial insecurity, administrative instability, to name just a few—will take years to reverse. Rafael Mandelman is an attorney for the City of Oakland. He is also President of the City College of San Francisco Board of Trustees.
STUDENT VOICES (continued from page 22) through his hand. It is difficult to translate this piece of cinematic art into text, but when I saw that moment in the film, I felt an overwhelming sense of terror and extreme sadness, emotions that most movies, especially movies that are primarily non-fiction, have given me. When you know the outcome of the story, and especially if you are prepared for a sad outcome, for a film to still shock
you and make you feel such strong emotions is nothing less than amazing. Milk was a great film with top-notch acting, sensational directing and cinematography, fantastic achievements in storytelling, and a complete recapture of the essence of San Francisco, especially from an LGBTQ studies standpoint. Seeing the story behind the first gay man elected to public office is fascinating, regardless
of the medium, but the fact that the story was crafted into a masterful piece of filmmaking is even more spectacular. I think that students and adults alike should watch this film, not only because it tells such a compelling story, but also because it does so beautifully. For more information about the Ruth Asawa San Francisco School of the Arts, please visit http://www.sfsota.org/
MARRIAGE (continued from page 23) ployment, housing, and education nationwide (initially passed to comply European Union requirements). However, activists told us that a wide gap exists between the letter of the law and the actual ability of LGBT people to live and work openly. Creating understanding and building popular support are critical both to passage of the partnership law and to making workplace equality a reality, not something just existing on paper. Bratislava has a charming old town on the Danube River with a stately castle on the hill, cobblestone streets, beautiful old buildings, and loads of cafes. Our sense of LGBT life in Bratislava was of one of varying and sometimes seemingly contradictory impressions. From our conversations, we understand that the city has only one LGBT café (a wonderful place where I hung out until 3 am at the Film Festival after party) and no dedicated LGBT bars or nightclubs, although regular events take place at rotating venues. At the same time, the Bratislava City 30
Museum, just off the main square in the heart of the old town, currently features the solo exhibition “Rural Desires” from the openly gay Slovakian artist Andrej Dubravsky, who at age 28 is gaining worldwide acclaim. Some LGBT people use Bratislava as their base, but conceive of themselves more as Europeans and often spend time in other places where LGBT life is more open. Others feel trapped and confined by life in Bratislava. One person who attended my presentation told me he became so overwhelmed emotionally that he had to leave the presentation, because he felt that he would never be able to experience in Slovakia the things I was describing. The connections I made with LGBT people in Bratislava made me feel very lucky to be gay. Being LGBT allowed us to connect as people. Although we lived on different continents in different cultural settings, we shared a bond. Our coming out stories, taking place 6,000 miles apart, sounded universal themes: feelings of isolation,
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the desire to find love and community, and the wish that LGBT people could grow up and live free from being told that something was wrong with them. I ended my presentation at the film festival by saying spontaneously that despite this summer’s U.S. Supreme Court victory, “We really don’t have marriage equality in America until we have equality in Slovakia.” I was gratified when a participant, who leads an LGBT theatre troupe in Bratislava, told me that he had never thought of it that way. And then, he took it a step further when he said that he indeed could not feel satisfied as a gay man in Slovakia until LGBT people in Africa and all other parts of the world could live freely, too. John Lewis and Stuart Gaffney, together for three decades, were plaintiffs in the California case for equal marriage rights decided by the California Supreme Court in 2008. They are leaders in the nationwide grassroots organization Marriage Equality USA.
DUNNING (continued from page 9) Don’t Tell policy that day. Against all odds, my attorneys and I won our fight to allow me to continue to serve in the Navy. That evening, we celebrated by joining the MCC congregation in its observance of World Aids Day. I was afforded the opportunity to speak, and I shared my journey and success in challenging an insurmountable opponent: the U.S. Navy’s antiquated policy banning gay service. I wished for equal success battling another tough opponent: the AIDS virus. I did so imagining a cure was just around the corner. I never imagined that twenty years later we would still have so many suffering around
the globe from HIV and AIDS. It is a battle we must fight every day, until there is a cure. So many beautiful lives have been cut down before their time. We owe it to them to continue the fight. I hope you take the day off and volunteer, or donate, or do what you can to observe World AIDS Day on December 1. Zoe Dunning is a retired Navy Commander and was a lead activist in the repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. She currently serves as the 1st Vice Chair of the San Francisco Democratic Party, as a San Francisco Library Commissioner, and as Co-Chair of the Board of Directors for the Alice B. Toklas LGBT Democratic Club.
SISTER DANA (continued from page 19) Dani Spinks with an original script pre-show cocktails at 6 pm. This verby Ralph Hoy, Bob McIntyre and sion of BBC TV’s Ab Fab stars Dani Spinks and stars: Bob Christian Heppinstall as Patsy McIntyre, Lauren Davidson, and Terry McLaughlin as Edina, Sadie Fenton, Donny Goglio, with Peggy L’Eggs as Mother and Lonnie Haley, Ralph Hoy, Becky Dene Larson as Saffron, Raya Hirschfeld, Joanna Kay, Derek Light as Bubble, Katya SmirnoffLozupone, Kari McCollough, Skyy as Jackie, Marie Cartier as Ricky Sakow, Jaime San Felippo, Marshall, Ginorma Desmond as and Adam Vogel. Sarah, J Sykes Iness as Justin, and Lavale-William Davis as John The highly anticipated annual commuJohnston. Eddy runs her own PR nity event benefiting the AIDS firm, and Patsy holds a position at a EMERGENCY FUND is DONNA top British fashion magazine. The two SACHET’S SONGS OF THE women use their considerable finanSEASON - with confirmed appearcial resources to indulge in alcohol, ances by Sharon McNight, recreational drugs, and chasing the Abigail, Brian Kent, Dan latest fads in an attempt to maintain O’Leary, Brenda Reed, and their youth and recapture their glory Vicki Shepard - among others. days as Mods in Swinging London. Remember: The holidays don’t begin The partnership is largely driven by until you see Donna Sachet’s Songs of Patsy, who is both co-dependent and the Season! Monday, November 30th at enabler to Eddy. Their lifestyle inevi8 pm, BeatBox, 314 11th Street. tably leads to a variety of personal Sponsorships and tickets available at crises, which are invariably resolved songsoftheseason15.eventbrite.com by Eddy’s daughter, Saffron Monsoon, Repeats on Tuesday, December 1st whose constant involvement in their and Wednesday, December 2nd. exploits have left her increasingly bitARTSAVESLIVES is the new Castro ter and cynical. It just wouldn’t be Street Gallery at 518 Castro Street Christmas without Patsy and Edina curated by world-renowned artist falling down drunk and doing drugs, THOMASINA DEMAIO. The grand sweetie-darling! opening is Friday, December 4th, 6-11 sfoasis.com pm. The public is invited to view work DREAMS ON THE ROCKS PRODUCTIONS presents STRANGERS WITH XXXMAS CANDY, a Strangers With Candy XXXmas special. Live on stage are your favorite SwC characters from the Comedy Central TV classic (many in drag). Catch these crazies December 3rd-19th, Thursdays, Fridays, and Saturdays at 8pm, The Shelton Theater, 533 Sutter Street. Tix are $30 at door, or in advance online: facebook.com/strangerswithcandysf or call 415-786-5325. From the holiday traditions of meaningful, thoughtful, and morally inspiring tales comes the heroic story of a 46 year old boozer, user, and loser that must set aside all of her personal beliefs of nothing and open her heart to the wrong and sexy feelings of Christmas. Stroll down the halls of Flat Point High as Jerri Blank finds all of the wrong reasons for the seasons. Directed by ROSTOW (continued from page 21) ered when I informed my niece I did “dope” all the time back in the day. I guess that means heroin, so it was an impressive claim until the definitions were sorted out. Random Thoughts What else is new? Let’s see. According to the Associated Press, a mob of protestors expressed outrage at the winner of Zimbabwe’s fourth annual “Mr. Ugly” contest, complaining the winner was only ugly because of his weird teeth. According to the Mr. Ugly rules, you have to be overall ugly, and your ugliness cannot rest solely on a disfigurement. In this case, 42-year-old Mison Sere won the crown, for the most part, based on facial expressions that featured his bizarre array of missing and skewed dentures. Left out in the cold was current champion, William Masvinu, who insisted that Sere was cheating.
from 10 local artists: Sean Casey, Tim Burns, Martin Freeman, Joel Hoyer, Dominic Martello, Jerry Lee Frost, Ed Terpening, Buddy Bates, Jorge E Gamboa, and Thomasina DeMaio. It will be quite festive with an ongoing fashion show of hand-painted clothing (Sister Dana is rumored to be one of the models) and music featuring Larry Leight. The Gallery also is the site of Tuesday and Thursday night drawing sessions with female models on Tuesdays and males on Thursdays, 6 to 9:30pm. Live music and snacks provided...15 dollars. Contact artsaveslives@aol.com if interested in showing your art or modeling. Sister Dana sez, “Remember during Thanksgiving and other holiday dinners with the relatives, it’s always a great way to come out by saying, ‘Please pass the potatoes to a queer, dear!’ Have a good one, don’t stuff yourself too much: GOBBLE GOBBLE GOBBLE!!!”
“I am naturally ugly. He is not. He is ugly only when he opens his mouth,” Masvinu charged. And in news of commercials I hate, I must include the ATT ads starring the self-satisfied young woman with her annoying monotone speaking style. I have to mute the TV whenever I see her coming with her not-funny remarks that are designed to amuse us. Designed by whom exactly? Who writes this stuff? Finally, on the subject of speaking styles, Martin O’Malley drives me nuts whenever he opens his mouth. He sounds like Demosthenes. Not after he became a great orator, but when he f irst started sucking on a bunch of pebbles. arostow@aol.com
Find Freedom in Your Flaws
Astrology Gypsy Love When asked about the ups and downs of her creative process, powerhouse comedienne Sarah Silverman revealed one of her sure-f ire secrets: “One way I keep from being daunted by the task of writing is to write the terrible version. It doesn’t have to be good. In fact, I count on it being bad…and then I mold it like clay.” Celestial signals inspire a similar outlook now. Find freedom in your flaws. Start from a soulful space, and sculpt the rest as you go.
SAGITTARIUS (November 22–December 21) Center yourself, Sagittarius. You’ve entered an astrological cycle that’s sure to shape new dimensions of your identity. Eliminate silly distractions so you can get down to “bliss-ness.”
ARIES (March 21–April 19) Keep your options open, Aries. Pinning yourself down to just one perspective will jeopardize your utmost potential. Trust that the Universe has much more in store for you to explore.
LEO ( July 23–August 22) Look at it this way, Leo. Every great artist confronts claims of lunacy at one point or another. Who cares if you come across as crazy? Spiritually, you’re spinning gold.
‘
TAURUS (April 20–May 20) Release the reins, Taurus. Clamoring for control would be counterproductive now. The secret to surviving amidst all these moving parts is quite simple: stand securely in your truth.
VIRGO (August 23–September 22) Core values could be called into question as you recalibrate your root system. What means the most to you, Virgo? Clarify your needs so the cosmos can deliver.
CAPRICORN (December 22–January 19) Count your blessings, Capricorn. Sudden bursts of serendipity are likely to strike in your career now. Take time to appreciate the taste of success. A grateful heart attracts more prosperity.
GEMINI (May 21–June 20) Do you feel the joy, Gemini? Be mindful of energies you invite into your space, both privately and professionally. If they don’t promote your pleasure zone, then promptly let them go. CANCER ( June 21–July 22) Take care, Cancer. The planets hone in on important health factors now. Prioritizing wellness will pay off exponentially. When you tend to your temple, all else falls into place.
LIBRA (September 23–October 22) Do tell, Libra. Your state of mind stirs with bright ideas now. Don’t be shy about sharing the wealth. Effective communication will boost the benefits of your brainpower. SCORPIO (October 23–November 21) Abundance is a state of mind, Scorpio. Still, the stars suggest that you squeeze those purse strings a bit tighter than usual. A little restraint will reaffirm what you really value.
AQUAR IUS ( Januar y 20–February 18) Practice your breaststroke, Aquarius! Astral waves are awash in your social sector. You’re well prepared to f lush out superficial associations and swim with your most suitable allies. PISCES ( Februar y 19 – March 20) These days, feeling your way around in the dark has been your clearest path toward seeing the light. Mastering this skill is of monumental importance now, Pisces. Embrace your intuitive insight.
Gypsy Love Productions is dedicated to inspiring love and unity with music, dance, and astrology. www.GypsyLoveProductions.com
As Heard on the Street . . . Do you have a favorite pet? compiled by Rink
Jeffrey Lilly
Sandy Graham
Mitch Thompson
Dana Hopkins
David Cannon
“Our Golden Retriever, Carmel, brought joy to my life.”
“Balfour is my all time favorite dogman. He is a good character and a good man.”
“My dog Kelsey Lindsay Lohan Sebastopol is a Border Collie who just turned 5 and whom I have trained as a Jedi.”
“Wilbur the Helping Dog, my 5-year-old pittie, because he’s smart loving and loyal.”
“My dog Rocket is a great example of aging well. He finds the best looking guys and gets them to massage his belly.”
Steven Underhill
PHOTOGRAPHY
415 370 7152
WEDDINGS, HEADSHOTS, PORTRAITS
stevenunderhill.com · stevenunderhillphotos@gmail.com BAY T IM ES NOVEM BER 26, 2015
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