San Francisco Bay Times - December 18, 2014 by San Francisco Bay Times

December 18-January 7, 2014 | www.sfbaytimes.com

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Why is it that, as a culture, we are more comfortable seeing two men holding guns, than holding hands? â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Ernest Gaines

See Our Progress

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A Still-Relevant Question Our cover features a quote widely attributed to acclaimed African American writer Ernest Gaines: “Why is it that, as a culture, we are more comfortable seeing two men holding guns, than holding hands?” It has sparked discussions over the years, including earlier this month, when it went viral via social media. According to the Gun Violence Archive, there have been 48,325 gun violence incidents in 2014 so far in the U.S. alone. 11,803 resulted in deaths and 2,936 were off icer-involved shootings. The Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence reports that the U.S. firearm homicide rate is 20 times higher than the combined rates of 22 countries that are our peers in wealth and population. As the Brady Campaign holds, “America has a problem with gun violence.” It also goes without saying that gunwielding individuals continue to be portrayed as empowered in movies, television shows, video games, mu-

kissed his boyfriend after becoming the first openly gay player drafted to the NFL, former Super Bowl champion Derrick Ward tweeted: “I’m sorry but Michael Sam is no bueno for doing that on national tv. Man U got little kids lookin at the draft. I can’t believe ESPN even allowed that to happen.” Miami Dolphins safety Don Jones also expressed his disapproval by tweeting “horrible” and “OMG” after the kiss was shown on live television. sic and more. Violence, in general, is also frequently glorified, with or without guns, and has resulted in several deaths and serious injuries this year. For example, two men at a San Francisco 49ers game in October repeatedly beat two men with their fists, such that one is now partially paralyzed as a result of his injuries. At the same time, many Americans are intolerant of male-to-male expressions of affection, particularly if LGBT males enact those behaviors. For example, when Michael Sam

Why then is it that there is such discomfort in seeing two men show affection for each other, while there appears to be greater cultural acceptance of violence and weapons associated with violent acts? We presented Gaines’ question to San Francisco Bay Times readers via social media. Below are some of the responses that came in, along with a few comments that were made on other sites. We encourage you to consider the question as yet another year of widespread violence in America comes to a close.

“Because we promote racial bigotry through ancient ideology hiding behind phony morality while sucking the blood from humanity.”

“Why does it have to be one or the other? I love who I am and that includes loving guns and using them safely and responsibly.”

“Society dehumanizes wome n, an d thus dehumanizes the Feminine, and thus, men who love men are ostracized and feared because they have, through their Truth of Authenticity, refused to play to the status-quo hetero-sexist and dualistic societal role of what ‘men’ are supposed to be. I am out and proud as a gay man each and every day of my life, and I stand with Peace and Love in my Authenticity. My soulpurpose and my sacred knowing come directly from my Gay perspective, and the world is healed through my eyes and my joy at living life to the very fullest, and in this way, I lead so many people into the freedom of their own self-love, just by being me.”

“Systematic conditioning to accept violence over an expression of love.”

Keith Haring: The Political Line Includes Anti-Violence Imagery The exhibit Keith Haring: The Political Line, now at the de Young until February 16, 2015, features images meant to promote peace and non-violence. In 1982, Haring attended the largest ever anti-nuclear rally held in the U.S.

More than one million people marched from the United Nations headquarters in New York to Central Park. This and similar events inspired LGBTQ activist Haring that year to create works of art, such as the image shown here.

“I suppose North American men think that they are expected to be as ‘macho’ as they can. I guess it’s a cultural thing.” “Because as a society we teach boys from very young that killing, raping and pillaging is a good thing, while love is bad. It shouldn’t really come as a surprise to anyone then.” “Gender role expectations is probably the answer, but it hardly satisfies.” “Because that’s change, and some fear change...”

BAY T IM ES DEC EM BER 18, 2014

A Clear Path for San Francisco’s Unlikeliest Mayor, Mirkarimi and the Left, and City College Update

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heart-filled campaign that summons up the best of San Francisco only to lose in the end. Might our energies be better spent focusing a little lower on the political food chain, spending 2015 identifying and building up the progressive candidates who can win School Board races, College Board races and Supervisor races in 2016?

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Rafael Mandelman To the disappointment of some and the relief of others, State Senator Mark Leno will apparently not be running for Mayor next year. “After significant consideration and examination,” Matier and Ross reported, Leno had determined that “now is not the time for me to enter the race.” With the November 2015 election still nearly a full year away, Mayor Ed Lee’s re-election is no sure thing. At the same time, Leno’s decision not to run, at least “not at this time,” certainly must have been a relief to the folks in Room 200. For the moment, Team Lee has dodged a bullet, and with no other big name candidates f loating their names, San Francisco’s unlikeliest mayor looks to be well on his way to another term. There are some progressives who believe it is essential for the Left to field a mayoral candidate in 2015, and I get that. San Franciscans are anxious and angry about skyrocketing housing costs, the displacement of long time residents, and the City’s inability, quite literally, to make the trains run on time. What’s worse, instead of addressing the rising chorus of popular frustration, City Hall seems intent on giving away the store to the rich and powerful. Surely, this is just the moment for a strong progressive reformer to make our case to the voters.

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The trouble is that we do not have that candidate. And I question the value at this moment of another hard-fought, ®

Whatever happens with the 2015 mayor’s race, there’s another office of potentially even greater import for progressives next year — Sheriff. One thing seems certain: rightly or wrongly, that race will not be primarily about how well or poorly the incumbent is doing the job, or whether his opponents are more likely to pursue policies that avoid violence in the jails and reduce the likelihood of former inmates recidivating upon release. No, for many voters, that contest will come down to a simple question: whether a domestic violence offender should be Sheriff. Back in October 2012, Supervisors Avalos, Campos, Kim and Olague voted to re-instate Ross Mirkarimi to the job to which the San Francisco voters had elected him just one year earlier. I believe each of them voted the way they did because they made an honest determination that the legal standard for removal of a democratically elected official had not been met. The consequences of that vote, however, have been dire for those Supervisors and for progressive politics generally. Absent that vote, there’s a good chance Christina Olague would still be the District Five Supervisor, and a strong likelihood David Campos would be celebrating his recent election to the State Assembly. Ross Mirkarimi has been the gift that keeps giving for San Francisco’s Right, his name functioning as a sort of campaign shorthand for the false message that progressives don’t care about domestic violence and don’t care about women. That message, of course, is kryptonite for progressives, because without women, we do not win. I was reminded of this fact canvassing for Campos the weekend before Election Day, when a twenty-something lesbian answering a door in Bernal Heights was simply unwilling to talk to me about the race. She knew everything she needed to know about David Campos: he had voted to (continued on page 30)

What to Start, Stop and Continue in 2015 ing? Women from our community representing us in City Hall and Sacramento. I’d like to work with organizations like Emerge CA, Alice B. Toklas LGBT Democratic Club, and the Victory Fund to brainstorm ways of identifying and mentoring the pipeline of women willing to step forward and run for office. We have a rich history of lesbians in San Francisco public office—Roberta Achtenberg, Susan Leal, Carole Migden, and Leslie Katz. Where will the next generation come from? Let’s find out!

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As 2014 winds down, it’s time for reflection of the past year and plans for the coming year. Professionally, politically and personally I find myself taking stock of where things stand and then conducting an exercise I often facilitate for my consulting clients. It’s called “Start, Stop, Continue,” and it goes like this: What did I (and we as an LGBT community and as a city) not do in 2014 that I want to start doing in 2015? Similarly, what was happening this past year that I want to stop? Finally, what good things took place in 2014 that I want to continue (either as is or with modifications)? Start Politically, there are three areas I would like to focus on in the coming year. The first is to work on identifying and recruiting more local LGBT women to become involved in politics in San Francisco. Our city is fortunate to have elected several gay men into office—Assemblymember Tom Ammiano, City Treasurer Jose Cisneros, Supervisors Scott Wiener and David Campos and City College Board Trustee Rafael Mandelman. What is miss-

Secondly, I want to help launch a Veterans Democratic Club in San Francisco. Los Angeles, Sacramento, and San Diego all have such clubs, organizing our veterans and giving them a voice and the ability to endorse candidates and ballot initiatives. Right now, I am the only veteran on the San Francisco Democratic Central Committee. We need more veterans actively involved, as veteran issues cross multiple policy areas—homelessness, housing, education, job training, health care and employment. Finally, I want to explore what can we do to address the continuing speculation, displacement, and skyrocketing housing costs in San Francisco now that Prop G failed on the November ballot. Just because the specifics of this initiative were not approved by a majority of voters, we can’t give up developing some solution to address the issues. Perhaps the window to tax house “flipping” is narrowed to 3 years rather than 5 years, or it applies to properties with three units or more rather than the two or more proposed in Prop G. The key is to get all parties around a table—the tenant advocates, the realtors, and the landlords—to hammer out a proposal palatable to everyone before going to the ballot. Stop I recognize we often need to make space for new things by letting go of current commitments and activities. There are only 24 hours in a day, and we (continued on page 30)

SAN FRANCISCO PFLAG

PFLAG’s Sam and Julia Thoron Have Provided Years of Unconditional Love and Support for Our Community By Jody Huckaby

Advocates for marriage equality in California knew that Sam was absolutely right in what he had been saying at PFLAG events for many years: that when the families of LGBTQ people share their stories, the world changes. The idea that this is about “someone else” is gone, and it becomes about one simple thing: equality. And this message is the true gift that Sam and Julia have given to all of

PHOTO BY BRYAN CASTALES

Sam and Julia are stepping down from local leadership, but will always be a part of PFLAG because of their contribution. And there will always be a home for them with PFLAG and the LGBTQ community, just as they opened up their home to all of us.

“Well, we’ve got a lot of work to do. I’m ready to roll up my sleeves; let’s get to it.” — Sam Thoron

We will miss their day-to-day wisdom and passion but, at PFLAG National, we are already talking to them about how their historical knowledge can be archived so we do not lose that first– hand narrative and contribution to our history. Sam and Julia have created a legacy of incredible change in the world; we are grateful to them for many years of service to PFLAG, and know that they have truly made the world a better place for all of us, LGBTQ and allies alike. On a personal note, Sam was national president when I met him the first time in 2004 in a group interview by the search committee charged with finding PFLAG National’s next executive director. Six weeks later, I met him again with Julia for another interview with the search committee. He introduced me to Julia as his “lovely bride,” with the affection and

Sam and Julia Thoron observing a Pride Parade

Sam Thoron (left) with PFLAG executive director Jody Huckaby (center) and former National PFLAG president Rabbi David Horowitz

love that I experience every time I am with them. I remember that it nearly took my breath away. I regrouped, and asked him what he thought of the recent election results, where in every state that had a ballot measure to amend their state constitutions to ban marriage for same-sex couples, every one of the amend-

PHOTOS COURTESY OF PFLAG NATIONAL

After the Prop 8 vote, analysis was done on which commercials were most effective in moving people to support marriage equality and, to no one’s surprise, Sam and Julia’s testimony was cited as the most powerful. In fact, their voices were so motivational, when it was time to identify who would write a letter to be printed in the California Voter Guide making the case for opposing Prop 8, Sam and Julia were the obvious choice.

us at PFLAG. Their lives these last 25 years have been a daily affirmation of the power of speaking one’s truth, telling one’s personal story.

Sam and Julia are honored by PFLAG National with an award presented by former PFLAG National President, Rabbi David Horowitz

ments passed. Sam paused, in a way that only Sam can, then he turned to Julia—who was wearing a PFLAG pendant on her sweater—looked at me again and said, “Well, we’ve got a lot of work to do. I’m ready to roll up my sleeves; let’s get to it.” From that moment, there was no doubt in my mind that I wanted to be a part

of PFLAG. Both Sam and Julia have been a tremendous inspiration for me ever since. Jody Huckaby is Executive Director of PFLAG National. For more information, please see PFLAG National, http://community.pflag.org/, and PFLAG San Francisco, http://www.pflagsf.org/

PHOTOS COURTESY OF PFLAG NATIONAL

Nowhere was this more evident than in the Prop 8 campaign. The Thorons were the first faces and voices of the campaign, featured in commercials that ran across the state, telling their story.

PHOTO BY STEVE RHODES

Their daughter’s forethought was PFLAG’s gain, as the Thorons soon leaped strongly into PFLAG service and leadership, at the national level, where Sam served on the PFLAG National board for several years before becoming national president. Locally, Sam and Julia became the leaders of the San Francisco chapter, often holding board meetings in their home. All of us who have been welcome in their home know that a lot of PFLAG history, indeed LGBTQ history, is not only archived in their basement but also has been witnessed, live, as it unfolded there.

PHOTO BY MELANIE NATHAN

After 25 years, Sam and Julia Thoron are stepping down from their leadership of PFLAG San Francisco. Their years of service started with a simple conversation with their daughter, Liz. She came out to them as a lesbian and, in the process, left behind some literature for them to help process the information; one such piece came from PFLAG.

Sam and Julia at SF Pride with PFLAG National staffer Cesar Hernandez Sam and Julia at the 2011 PFLAG National Convention and Daniel Sladek, producer of Proud for Bobby.

Sam and Julia Thoron: Beacons of Hope During Difficult Times By Nancy McDonald

tional level, and his voice has always been one of reason. Julia and Sam have shown us exuberant love beyond belief, as well as compassion for the work of PFLAG.

Sam and Julia are the National role models for starting and sustaining a local PFLAG Chapter. They have taught all of us so much, and have Nancy McDonald never hesitated one moment to extend their hands to help. I applaud and salute their work. They have been beacons of hope, May they enjoy their retirement as sometimes the struggle for equal from the front lines of the work of rights for our family members and PFLAG. friends has been dark and filled with Hugs, Nancy McDonald despair. Personally, I have had the opportunity to work with Sam at the na-

Nancy McDonald is past president of PFLAG National.

Sam and Julia in Washington, D.C. BAY T IM ES DEC EM BER 18, 2014

Winning the Housing Lottery: It Doesn’t Add Up got evicted from his rent controlled apartment. Humans have gone to war and launched revolutions to answer these questions. I have heard people talk quite seriously about revolution in response to the scarcity of affordable housing in San Francisco. But I want to focus on a different response to addressing this scarcity. It’s called the affordable housing lottery.

Aging in Community Seth Kilbourn Crisis by Number Regardless of political ideology or economic status, few would disagree that San Francisco faces an enormous housing crisis. The city has undergone massive demographic changes due almost entirely to sky-high housing costs. The term “affordable housing” can have different meanings depending on the context. In general, however, housing is considered affordable when total monthly housing costs do not exceed 30% of a household’s income. Using that standard, consider these jaw droppers: • In 2014, a single person paying the median rent for a one-bedroom apartment should earn at least $124,000 per year to afford her apartment. Only 25% of San Francisco households (of all sizes!) could afford that apartment. • Almost 60% of low-income households spend more than half their income on rent. • Less than 40% of the 59,000 verylow income households in San Francisco—the majority of which are seniors—can afford any housing at all. What Is Fair? Affordable housing in San Francisco is clearly an extremely scarce and highly valuable resource for those in need, which by some measures is approaching half the population. It stands to reason that the systems and methods used to allocate such a resource deserve serious consideration and a thorough debate. But that would mean tackling some fundamental and often inflammatory questions. Imagine asking ten people you know if housing is a human right or an asset to be earned. Then ask whether someone who needs housing because he lost his job is more deserving or less deserving than someone who

You Have to Play to Win Lotteries are often thought of as the fairest way of distributing benefits. In some cases, that might be true. I’d like to begin a dialogue about whether the San Francisco affordable housing lottery system is indeed a fair way to distribute such an important and scarce resource. Or is it just the easiest? I know from my work every day with LGBT seniors that it is not easy. Not by a long shot. A typical senior affordable housing development receives 5,000 applications for 100 units of housing. Assuming all 5,000 people meet the age, income and other eligibility requirements, each person has a 2% chance of getting a unit. Those are tough odds. But in order to win, you have to play. And play. And play yet again. It requires emotional fortitude, incredible patience and a lot of faith. We have peer support groups for LGBT seniors in our Housing Assistance Program so they can support each other through the loss and rejection. It is easy to think of lotteries as being painless. The senior who did not get selected was not at fault. He didn’t do anything wrong. He didn’t get rejected on purpose. That is not how it feels. It is not a painless process. How Random Is Random? To be fair to everyone, a lottery selection must be truly random. To be truly random, the lottery pool must include a complete list of every person in the population who is eligible for the prize. Every person. For a typical senior housing lottery, every person in San Francisco who is 62 or older whose income is at or below 50% of Area Median Income should be notified and submit an application. Such a system is, of course, impossible. Not every senior knows about housing lotteries or that she might be eligible. Many LGBT seniors, who have lived a lifetime of stigma and rejection, have no interest in being rejected again— even if it really isn’t their fault. The applications themselves are too com-

plicated to understand. On the other hand, some seniors are better informed, have learned where to look for notices of availability, or have become effective organizers in their community. Is There Hope? Yes, there is hope. While we work out the fundamental questions about rights and universal access to safe and affordable housing—peacefully and without violence—we can work to make the system easier to navigate. One application for all senior affordable housing would be a huge improvement. We can help each other stay informed and support each other through an emotionally draining process. In addition to our support groups, Openhouse offers regular housing workshops to explain the affordable housing process, notify the community when units and buildings come on line and help seniors complete applications. Thanks to Supervisor Scott Weiner and the Mayor’s Off ice of Housing and Community Development, Openhouse and the LGBT Center are working together to ensure that LGBT people of all ages understand their affordable housing options and have the financial coaching they need to secure a unit, should they be lucky enough to win. And we do win. Over 50% of the seniors in our Housing Assistance Program have secured housing or placement on a waitlist for future openings. The LGBT-welcoming senior affordable housing Openhouse is building at 55 Laguna St. will be coming online in the next 18 months. We can get prepared now to make sure every LGBT senior who wants to live there is in the lottery pool. Seth Kilbourn is the Executive Director of Openhouse. For more information on Openhouse services and programs for LGBT older adults, visit www.openhouse-sf.org or call 415-296-8995.

Dr. Marcy Adelman oversees the new Bay Times Aging in Community column. For her summary of current LGBT senior challenges and opportunities, please go to: sf baytimes. com/challenges-and-opportunties

A Memorial Ice Cream Party - Remembering Bev Hickok Photos by Sandy Morris Friends and colleagues of Beverly “Bev” Hickok came together to enjoy her favorite treats, ice cream and chocolate, at the Montclair Women’s Cultural Arts Center in Oakland. A co-founder of Lavender Seniors, Bev passed away in Berkeley on October 9 at the age of 94. She was a librarian, artist and author, and a California native who came out as a lesbian in the 1940s. Bev’s memoir, Against The Current, was published in 2003.

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Rainbow World Fund’s Executive Director Shares His Story of Being Ellis Acted

Many of you will likely relate to his story, as the San Francisco housing crisis has affected so many LGBTQ longtime San Francisco residents who have deep, emotional ties to the city, their neighbors, colleagues and friends here.

cisco, and why did you decide to move here (if not a native)?

PHOTO BY WILLIAM LEE

Jeff Cotter is synonymous with San Francisco and our LGBTQ community, given that he founded and is the Executive Director of Rainbow World Fund, which—among many other charitable efforts—presents the annual Tree of Hope, now on display at Grace Cathedral. The tree is the largest holiday tree in the world, with over 12,000 origami cranes and stars folded and inscribed with wishes for the future of the world. Cotter is a selfless, very considerate soul, who also helps to secure housing in San Francisco for low income and disabled individuals. Now, a victim of the Ellis Act himself, he is homeless and couch surfing.

Jeff Cotter, executive director of the Rainbow World Fund, with comedienne Margaret Cho and World Rainbow Fund board member Karen N. Kai.

We recently spoke with Cotter, who generously took time for an interview. San Francisco Bay Times: How long have you lived in San Fran-

Jeff Cotter: I moved to San Francisco in 1990 from North Carolina after finishing graduate school. I had visited the Bay Area in 1987, and drove down to Big Sur the day after I arrived. I was blown away by the beauty of the area. It was there that I made the decision to move to San Francisco. The nature got me, and the opportunity to live in a very LGBT positive area after five years in North Carolina sealed the deal. I had spent the last two years at the University of North Carolina fighting institutionalized homophobia after I was told I would not be allowed to work with children as a social work intern as I was gay. It was an exhausting experience, but a year after I left, the University added sexual orientation to its system wide nondiscriminatory policy—a real victory. Coming to San Francisco felt very healing.

San Francisco Bay Times: Did you have a stable housing situation for some t ime? If so, please explain what that arrangement was, and how things changed for you.

live. I work part-time as a social worker, so most places nowadays are out of my price range. Ironically, I spend a lot of time securing housing for very low income and disabled San Francisco residents.

Jeff Cotter: I moved to the Castro in 1992, and lived in my apartment until this past July when my building was Ellis Acted. It was a long process, as the owner bought the building several years ago and has pushed for me and the other tenant to leave on and off for several years, and threatened to Ellis Act the building for a long time. Living under that stress feels very harassing—part of life in the new San Francisco.

San Francisco Bay Times: Your present housing situation doesn’t seem sustainable, so what is your desired housing arrangement? Do you hope to rent again in San Francisco, or move to the East Bay or another location?

San Francisco Bay Times: What is your housing situation now? Jeff Cotter: Since then I have been mainly couch surfing and house sitting for friends while I look for a place to

Jeff Cotter: I hope to find a place to live in San Francisco. After 22 years, it is home. San Francisco Bay Times: Please mention anything else that you’d like our readers to know. Jeff Cotter: What is not ref lected in the Ellis Act statistics are the huge number of people who accept buy outs (continued on page 30)

Advocate for SF Tenants Looks to 2015

Collier says, “Ellis Act reform could go a long way in solving some problems.

A state senate bill failed to pass in Assembly, but is expected to be reintroduced this coming year.” The proposed legislation, Senate Bill 1439, would require new property owners to wait five years before invoking the Ellis Act, which is a state law that allows landlords to evict their tenants if they “go out of (the rental) business.” The bill was introduced by State Senator Mark Leno and was supported by Mayor Ed Lee and a large coalition of other supporters. As for why so many tenants have lost their Ellis Act cases, Collier says, “It’s an issue of class.” He continued that judges are more inclined to side with landlords who tend to come from the judges’ own social strata. Judges in the state earn impressive 6-figure salaries

Stephen Collier

PHOTOSOURCE: YOUTUBE

Tenderloin Housing Clinic staff attorney Stephen Collier has been fighting for San Francisco tenant rights for over three decades. He represents lowincome tenants in all aspects of housing law, and specializes in affirmative tenant suits for wrongful eviction and habitability, and Ellis Act eviction defense. Given that so many longtime San Francisco residents were Ellis Acted or otherwise lost their housing in 2014, we asked Collier to explain what changes might be in store for 2015. The situation is hopeful for tenants, but that’s little solace for those who have already fallen victim to what is still a very severe housing crisis in San Francisco.

so, by default, there is no such thing as a low-income judge. Another problem, according to Collier, is that tenants cannot sue for wrongful evictions. “They can sue for harassment, but that’s the only remedy for them to fight wrongful evictions.”

On the upside, he believes that the present building boom in San Francisco is hopeful. “Four years ago, banks were hardly lending to anyone. No one could get a loan because of the recession. That’s since changed, and the city is catching up on building.” In addition to his position at the Tenderloin Housing Clinic, Collier is also Board President of Tenants Together, a nonprofit organization dedicated to defending the rights of tenants. Knowing those rights is an important first step. Keep in mind that as a California tenant you have the right to: • 24-hour written notice before your landlord enters your home, unless the landlord is responding to an emergency such as a fire or gas leak.

• stay in your home until expiration of a valid, written notice to terminate your tenancy. • contest evictions in court. • get back your security deposit within 21 days after you move out. • report substandard housing conditions to the city’s code enforcement agency. • push for San Francisco (or your other city) to adopt a local ‘just cause’ for eviction law and other tenant protections. For additional information on San Francisco tenant rights, please visit: www.tenantstogether.org, http://www.sftu.org/, and http://www.thclinic.org/index.php

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BAY T IM ES DEC EM BER 18, 2014

Historic Gathering of LGBTQ Clergy Builds Community

Recently, over 60 rabbis, cantors, chaplains, and student clergy came together, not only from around the Bay Area, but also from throughout the U.S., Canada, Germany and Israel. We came together for four days of learning, sharing and community-building. Hosted by Congregation Sha’ar Zahav, the gathering was the first of its kind in more than 20 years. Rabbi Camille Angel of Sha’ar Zahav observed, “Among the many gifts that our time together afforded, was the opportunity to host this historic gathering and share our gorgeous sanctuary space for convening, [as well as] an inspiring book of prayer, Siddur Sha’ar Zahav, which each registrant took home thanks to the generosity of our benefactor [the Walter & Elise Haas Foundation].”

Say “The Bay Times sent me!”

Margaret Galvin, Showroom Manager at Ergo Depot Design Studio at 245 Kansas Street, SF, demonstrates how thoughtful design and tech can improve our health and work. She’s in front of the ESI Edge-Combo monitor arm system. Galvin says, “It elevates both my laptop and my monitor. Having my monitor off the desk at eye level helps to relieve neck, shoulder and eye strain.” 12

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L-R: Rabbi Emily Aviva Kapor-Mater, Rabbi Micah Buck-Yael, Rabbinic student Talia Johnson and Rabbinic student Martin Rawlings-Fein

gathering specifically for Jewish clergy who identify as lesbian, gay, bi-sexual, transgender or queer.

Rabbi Angel shared that she made more than two-dozen new friends and colleagues, including students still in seminary, freshly ordained rabbis and elders. “Their stories have inspired me in my own journey, but I had never had the chance to meet with many of them in person. Lots of potential for the future!”

The retreat welcomed participants who ranged from long-time leaders in the community to those who are currently studying to become faith leaders. It also reflected the different types of ord inat ion from traditionally trained rabbis to newer ordination models, such as Maggids (religious story-tellers).

Martin Rawlings-Fein, a congregant of Sha’ar Zahav and a rabbinic student agrees. “As student clergy,” he said, “the retreat was most helpful in both formulating what is already being done by the many clergy in attendance, and to formulate what my own rabbinate will look like in the coming years. I am so grateful to Nehirim for the chance to be part of such a momentous occasion.”

Maggid Andrew Ramer, also of Sha’ar Zahav, noted, “I could not have imagined when I came out in Berkeley in 1972 that one day I would be sitting in a room with 60-some fellow Queer Jewish clergy. From our time together, ripples of change and inclusion of every kind are making their way out into the world.”

The retreat was produced by Nehirim, a national retreat organization and advocacy group that aims to promote diversity and equality based on the teachings of the Jewish faith. Nehirim fosters a sense of community among the Jewish LGBTQ community, through spiritual and cultural gatherings around the country. Led by Nehirim Executive Director, Rabbi Debra Kolodny, this was its first such

The retreat, held December 7–10, explored the intersection of faith and identity. Teachers and speakers from all of the Jewish movements wove together panels, workshops and informal discussions that reflected on the 30+ year history of LGBTQ clergy, delving into the gifts that their unique perspective brings to the larger Jewish community. Rabbi Eli Cohen of Chadeish Yameinu in Santa Cruz

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said of the experience, “The Nehirim retreat for LGBTQ clergy was an amazing gathering. The opportunity to connect with colleagues across a broad spectrum of gender and sexuality, and branches of Judaism, was rich. The workshops were thoughtful and often provocative. Already, I have brought to my community some of the gleanings, and I look forward to seeing how it continues to inform my work.” To culminate the gathering, Rabbi Debra Kolod ny led the clergy in visioning what these retreat participants—and the combined 200 LGBTQ clergy in this country—might accomplish together, going forward. “Clergy are powerful multipliers!” she exclaimed. “Those who attended have the capacity to disseminate learnings, inspirations and best practices to their students, congregants, colleagues and friends. We explored theology, ritual, liturgy, pastoral care, and leadership opportunities. I expect that thousands of people will ultimately be treated to amazing new drashot (sermons), beautiful new prayers, gorgeous new rituals and fascinating new teachings.” She continued, “We also began to articulate our vision for future contributions to the larger Jewish community. I believe that the relationships and networks that formed as a result of this event will result in innovative projects, campaigns and ongoing learning opportunities.” The clergy have each returned to their home communities, to prepare for Hannukah. They are eager to take on their leadership roles, mindful of Isaiah’s injunction to “be a light unto the nations.” The hope engendered by this gathering will undoubtedly bring illumination, not only at this darkest time of the year, but also in future, lighting the way through the pain and discord in the world around us. Rivka Gevurtz is Director of Finance, Administration & Development for Nehirim, www.nehirim.org

PHOTOS COURTESY OF NEIHRIM

By Rivka Gevurtz

6 Tips for Spending Wisely This Holiday Season your list or reduce the amount you can spend on each person.

Money Matters Brandon Miller When holiday music is piped into malls and festive themes accompany some hard-to-miss sales, it’s no wonder people are compelled to overspend during the holidays. Here are six helpful tips to help keep your holiday spending in check this season. Start with a list. Even Santa knows it’s wise to make a list (and check it twice!) in preparation for the gift-giving season. Make a list with everyone you plan to buy for. Be sure to include family, friends, neighbors, colleagues and anyone else in your life you would like to remember with a gift. Next, set a budget to guide your purchases. If the math doesn’t add up—you have too many gifts to buy and not enough money to go around—pare down

Comparison shop. Your holiday dollars will go further if you do your homework before pulling out your wallet. Online price comparison engines can help you identify where to find the best deals. Shopping online can be a real time-saver too, but be mindful of shipping charges. You’ll also want to watch for upcoming holiday sales and plan your shopping excursions accordingly. Black Friday is not the only time you can find deals during the season. Avoid overspending on a credit card. Naturally, credit cards offer the convenience of buying now and paying later. The “pay later” scenario only works in your favor if you’re able to zero out your balance before the next billing cycle. If you don’t pay down your charges for months on end, interest accrues and suddenly that $30 gift has snowballed into an unwieldy sum. If you need to rely on credit to spread the cost of holiday purchases over a few months, factor in estimated interest charges when you make your budget. Or better yet, avoid the credit trap altogether by spending within your means. Keep your savings on track. Saving should be a regular part of your monthly budget. If you’ve worked with a financial advisor before, stick

to your savings plan instead of putting your financial future on hold. If you haven’t worked with a financial professional before, and don’t yet have a plan for growing your nest egg, give yourself the gift of financial advice this year. A qualified financial advisor can identify strategies to help you achieve your financial goals. Give sentimental gifts that don’t cost much. When you’re in stores, it’s easy to get distracted and start to ignore your budget. Don’t buy into the notion that the price tag of a gift indicates its ultimate value. The best gifts are not necessarily the most expensive. In many cases, a thoughtful, sentimental gift can mean as much or more than an expensive object. Remember to put people first. In our consumer-centric society, it’s easy to get carried away with material things. It’s important to stay focused on what truly matters about the season—spending time with the people who mean the most to you. It doesn’t cost anything to take some time away from the hustle and bustle and savor the special moments that come with the holidays. Brandon Miller, CFP, is a financial consultant at Brio Financial Group, A Private Wealth Advisory Practice of Ameriprise Financial Inc. in San Francisco, specializing in helping LGBT individuals and families plan and achieve their financial goals.

EQUALITY = HEALTHY We all bring something unique to the world, something for which we are proud. For the 5th year in a row, Kaiser Permanente has been recognized as a leader in health care equality for lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender populations in the Healthcare Equality Index 2014 report.

kp.org/thrive

The San Francisco Bay Times says, “Thank you!” to our readers, advertisers, supporters and friends. We wish you much joy for the Holiday Season and a Happy and Prosperous New Year!

BAY T IM ES DEC EM BER 18, 2014

Round About - 22nd Annual Songs of the Season

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The 22nd Annual Songs of the Season, hosted by Donna Sachet, was held on three consecutive evenings with standing room audiences each night at the Sir Frances Drake Hotel in Union Square. Featured guests included singer and actress Brenda Reed; dance diva Vicki Shepard; talented singer Dan O’Leary; and recording artist Brian Kent. Songs of the Season benefits the AIDS Emergency Fund (AEF).

Round About - World Tree of Hope

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PHOTO COURTESY OF RAINBOW WORLD FUND PHOTO BY WILLIAM LEE

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The World Tree of Hope 2014 Tree Lighting ceremony was held on Monday, December 1, at Grace Cathedral in San Francisco. Featured guests were performing artists Margaret Cho, Tammy Hall, Vernoica Klaus and the SF Boys Choir. Featured speakers were Cheryl Jennings, ABC7 News; activist Cleve Jones; Mayor Ed Lee; and Masato Wantanabe, Counsul General of Japan; and Bishop Marc Andrus. Also participating were members of the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence. Rainbow World Fund’s World Tree of Hope is a holiday tree decorated with thousands of white origami cranes, each containing notes of hope and peace from children and individuals from around the world.

Round About - SF Gay Men’s Chorus - Dancers, Prancers & Vixens The San Francisco Gay Men’s Chorus, directed by Dr. Tim Seelig, Artistic Director/Conductor, brought the house down at the Nourse Theatre in three performances on Friday and Saturday, December 12 and 13. With featured guests Well Strung, a singing string quartet, SFGMC delighted its audience with an array of songs evoking laughter, tears and shouts of appreciation. You won’t be able to stop talking about this show and debating which segment was “the best” - they all are! It’s not too late to enjoy the holidays with the Chorus at their upcoming shows in Berkeley and on Christmas Eve at The Castro Theater on December 24 for the 25th Anniversary of Home for the Holidays.

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Tis the Season to Be Depressed son happier. Research has shown that keeping a gratitude journal, just one thought a day, can make a person happier. It changes those brain waves. So, before you let the holiday glum take hold, remember you don’t need to be happy, just think happy. My prescription for the season is to think 3 happy thoughts a day, and go to sleep with a smile.

tion. These include simple suggestions, such as walking like you’re happy, sitting upright, or striking up a conversation with a stranger. Writing down both positive and negative thoughts can help as well. Write down those negative thoughts (such as “I’m ugly,” “No one loves me,” “My boss has it in for me”) and toss them away. The physical act of throwing away your worries can lessen their hold on you.

Friends of Naomi Dr. Naomi Jay, RN, NP, PhD For many people, tis not at all the season to be jolly. Rather, the holiday season can be fraught with depression, loneliness and isolation. For some people, the holidays represent everything that is wrong with their lives—separation from family, the absence of friends who have passed, or just bad memories. For some, the antidote is to hole up at home until the holidays are over. Here’s another option: If you can’t be happy, think happy. Research into the science of happiness has shown that essential brain patterns change just by thinking happy thoughts. Feeling happy is not a requirement.

A final word to my readers: While I’ve enjoyed my stint as a writer for the San Francisco Bay Times, my research and work life have gotten very busy, and sadly I must turn this column over to another. Wishing you all good health!

Alternatively, write down things that make you happy and grateful. The calling forth of things big and small that make you grateful (such as “I am healthy,” “I am grateful that I caught the bus,” “I am grateful I met my friend today,” “I am grateful there was no line at the store”) can make a per-

Dr. Naomi Jay is a nurse practitioner in the department of Infectious Disease at UCSF.

Santa Skivvies Run 2014 Described as “a festive romp through San Francisco,” the Santa Skivvies Run 2014 raised a record-breaking total of more than $67,000 to benefit the SF AIDS Foundation’s prevention, education and advocacy programs. Beginning at UN Plaza and continuing up Market Street to the Castro, the route led participants to the popular LOOKOUT bar for a post-run party and photography session where runners, dressed in their various outfits of red and white, posed with Santa Claus to create mementos.

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Related to the science of happiness is the science of gratitude. Cultivating an attitude of gratitude will improve health, and also leads to improvements in relationships, academics and work. Similar to “just think happy,” the simple act of describing something one is grateful for leads to increases in positive emotions. Although many people think that happiness is inf luenced most by our external environment—such as our job satisfaction, income, or social network—in fact, that only represents 10% of the influence on our happiness. Fifty percent is our DNA. We can’t always control our environment, and we certainly can’t control our DNA, but the remaining 40% may be in our power to control.

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Researchers in positive psychology have studied the brain’s activity in relation to happiness. The left side of the brain is more active when people feel happy, and the right side when people are sad. Determining ways to activate the left side is one important aspect of the research.

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The science of happiness is part of a relatively new field known as positive psychology. Much of psychology focuses on the negatives, such as depression and how to treat it. Positive psychology focuses on the aspects of human emotion and psychology that work well, and strives to understand how to replicate and encourage these elements.

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Researchers in this field have additionally found ways to cultivate this por-

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Empathy and Kindness Even when my 89-year-old dad could barely walk and had compromised memory, he would survey his elder community’s dining hall at meal time to see if anyone was sitting alone, and join them even if he had already finished eating. It was a simple act of empathy and kindness that I believe he absorbed from his parents, trying to make ends meet in small town Illinois during the Great Depression. Indeed, I remember that my dad, who passed away earlier this year, throughout his life gravitated in social situations to people he perceived to be excluded or to be less popular. At age 19, my dad was preparing to ship out to the Pacific Theater in World War II, when he heard an African American soldier’s story about how, in a military lunchroom, two dozen German prisoners of war and their white American guards ate, laughed, and smoked cigarettes together, while he and the other African American soldiers had to look on from the kitchen. My dad was outraged and wrote to his parents:

Marriage Equality John Lewis Marriage Equality USA I’ve always been struck how my dad, who grew up in small town Southern Illinois, developed such a keen multicultural and civil rights awareness as a teenager. Only recently have I come to perceive it as a political manifestation of the practice of simple kindness that surrounded him in my grandparent’s home. My dad and mother continued that mission and educated my brother and me about the civil rights movement as we grew up in the 1960s in Missouri. In 2004, I attended a marriage equality forum that brought out ma ny pol it ica l ly conser vat ive Christians. A teenager approached me and asked me a common evangelism opener: Do you know what will happen to you after you die? Not knowing what I wanted to say or how we could find connection, I replied, “Why do you ask? What are your intentions?” We talked for a long time, with my responding to whatever he said with silence

• • •

Last year’s holiday season witnessed the amazing sight of LGBT couples dashing to get married in Salt Lake City. This year, we await news of whether the United States Supreme Court will review one or more of the marriage cases now before it, and establish nationwide marriage equality in 2015. At the same time, events like the ones in Ferguson, Staten Island, and Cleveland, and the responses to them dominate the news. All of these things remind us of the truth that anytime anyone is treated less than equal because of who they are, we are diminished as people. We look to the New Year to bring full constitutional rights and protections for lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender Americans at the Supreme Court, and for our nation to chart a new course to address racial and social injustice. This holiday season, we ref lect on empathy and kindness. Happy Holidays and New Year. John Lewis and his husband Stuart Gaffney, together for nearly three decades, were plaintiffs in the California case for equal marriage rights decided by the California Supreme Court in 2008. They are leaders in the nationwide grassroots organization Marriage Equality USA.

YOUR WEDDING YOUR WAY Noted lesbian pioneer Phyllis Lyon received a framed front page of the San Francisco Bay Times during her recent birthday party enjoyed with friends, including surprise guest Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi.

Pearl Harbor Day, commemorating the infamous attack in 1941, was observed by members of the Alexander Hamilton 448 Post of the American Legion on Sunday, December 7th.

AT THE JCCSF

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“The Declaration of Independence says that all men are created equal. Also, we happen (supposedly) to be fighting this war for the reason that Hitler says that the Germans are superior to all others, and that certain others (the Jews for one) are decidedly inferior. We are fighting these doctrines…and what do we do but turn around and do the same thing. We persecute the Negroes; we persecute the Jews; we persecute the Japanese-Americans…we consider the Chinese below us…”

• • •

and then questions to elicit more deeply what his intentions were. After awhile, the teenager appeared somewhat uncomfortable with the unusual conversational style, and then seemingly out of nowhere said, “I guess I’m not being very kind.” I smiled and spontaneously responded that we had finally found connection: the value of kindness.

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Tourists and locals alike are enjoying the evening scenery at Union Square during the Holiday Season.

Husbands Jerry Weller (left) and Michael Smithwick, executive director of Maitri, were married in Palm Springs after having been together for 23 years.

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MENTION BAY TIMES FOR 10% DISCOUNT! Sandy Manning (right) and her wife Sara, winners of a SF Bay Times ticket drawing, enjoyed their visit to the de Young Museum for the recent Modernism exhibit.

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How to Make People Feel Guilty sive anxiety, which is so painful that most people will do almost anything to avoid it.

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CONTRIBUTORS Writers Rink, Sister Dana Van Iquity, Ann Rostow, Kirsten Kruse, Kate Kendell, Heidi Beeler, Gary M. Kramer, Dennis McMillan, Tom Moon, Terry Baum, Gypsy Love, Rafael Mandelman, Kit Kennedy, David Campos, Leslie Katz, Bill Lipsky, Karen Williams, Donna Sachet, Gary Virginia, Zoe Dunning, Marcy Adelman, Stuart Gaffney & John Lewis Brandon Miller & Joanne Jordan, Kippy Marks, Naomi Jay, Jamie Leno Zimron Rebecca Kaplan, Thom Watson, America Foy, Philip Ruth, Courtney Lake, Michele Karlsberg Photographers Rink, Dennis McMillan, Steven Underhill, Phyllis Costa, Cathy Blackstone, Robert Fuggiti, Chloe Jackman, Bill Wilson, Jo-Lynn Otto, Sandy Morris, Abby Zimberg

Many people who were subjected to this kind of treatment as children harbor, as adults, a deep dark secret that if anyone really knew them, they’d find out just how shamelessly selfish they really are. When people learn, early in life, to associate any interest in their own welfare with selfishness, they can

A variant of this argument in the “you’ve already got more than your fair share” idea.” Parents who berate their children for being “spoiled” encourage vulnerability to this form of

Recovery from vulnerability to irrational guilt involves learning to discriminate between doing actual harm to others and bogus claims of it. It involves getting clear that you have an inherent right to do all in your power to live and thrive, such that you reject false accusations that pursuing legitimate life goals automatically hurts or deprives others. Tom Moon is a psychotherapist in San Francisco. His website is tommoon.net

Round About - SantaCon 2014 SantaCon began in San Francisco in 1994. What is it? A pub crawl, essentially, and a reason or excuse to dress in a Santa-related get-up that’s elaborate or not. In addition to Santa, outfits we’ve seen include Mrs. Claus, elfs, reindeer, walking Christmas trees and something resembling a sheep herder. Some say it’s a benefit for the SF Fire Department’s gift drive for needy children. Others say they gave at the office. Photographers Rink and Steven Underhill have contributed to our collection of images from revelers in the Castro and on Polk Street, Saturday, December 13.

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Abby Zimberg Beth Greene Michael Zipkin

A related idea is that success is always gained at someone else’s expense, and that you have therefore done something wrong if you are successful in achieving your goals. If you’re financially secure, for instance, it must be because you had some unfair advantage, or because you exploited others (“all profit is theft”), never because you earned it legitimately through your own efforts. Unfortunately, some people will feel jealous of anything valuable you have—whether it’s good looks, social conf idence, personal happiness, or job success—and will rationalize their jealousy by telling themselves, and you, that all your advantages are ill-gotten gains.

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To understand how guilt-tripping works, it helps to have a good understanding of just what guilt is. Every experience of guilt is both an idea and a feeling. The idea, which arises first, is that something I’ve done or failed to do has hurt someone else. We’re capable of guilt because we’re social animals, hard-wired to feel concern and empathy for other people, and to feel pain if we think we’ve harmed them. The feeling element is a kind of depres-

guilt-tripping. The irrational idea here is that, since you already have more than your “fair share” of the goodies, you’re over-privileged and have no right to strive for anything more.

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Dr. Betty L. Sullivan Jennifer L. Viegas

Another effective guilt-inducing strategy is the “people are starving, so shut up” argument. The irrational idea in this argument is that since somebody somewhere always has it worse, you have no right to try to make anything better for yourself. Those who tell you to “count your blessings” often really mean to “ignore your needs.”

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Guilt-tripping is an ancient, and often highly profitable, art. In every culture, there are people and institutions that actively work to instill guilt, because people who feel guilty are easier to dominate, manipulate, and exploit.

If you can con others into thinking that acting on their legitimate rights, or pursuing reasonable personal goals, is selfish, then it becomes easier to get them to relinquish their goals and serve your ends instead. Parents who use their children to meet their own needs, for instance, often use the “selfish” speech to make them feel ashamed for having independent desires. Maybe you’ve heard it: “You’re so selfish! All you ever think about is yourself. It’s just me, me, me…” and so on.

Another effective method for instilling guilt is to get people to feel ashamed of their pain, and by getting them to see it as an annoyance and a drag on others. Those who are suffering are naturally inclined to take action to relieve it, unless they’ve been taught to believe that it’s something to be ashamed of. If you’re seriously depressed, for instance, you’re going to be far less inclined to seek relief if you believe that you’re just feeling sorry for yourself, that you’re a whiner, that you’re weak and full of self-pity, and that you should just get over yourself. Those who have learned not to respect their own suffering don’t act to relieve it.

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Tom Moon, MFT

Because guilt begins with ideas, it can be taught, and is all-too-easily learned, especially by the young and the naïve. The most basic method for making people susceptible to guilt is to get them to believe that pursuing their legitimate self-interests causes harm to others, or to the “greater good.” The easiest way to do this is to conf late “self-care” with “sefish.”

spend the rest of their lives being at the mercy of every unscrupulous person who crosses their path, all the while living with debilitating guilt.

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LETTERS TO THE EDITOR

GLBT 2014 News Quiz By Ann Rostow It’s That Time Again! Merry Christmas dear readers, and welcome to our annual GLBT News Quiz. I was just glancing over last year’s quiz, and noticed the f inal question: “The biggest GLBT news story in 2014 will be: a) the Supreme Court’s decision to let stand a 10th Circuit ruling in favor of same-sex couples, b) a well-known American athlete, in either football, baseball or basketball, coming out of the closet, c) the Supreme Court’s decision to accept a marriage equality case for the 2014/2015 term, d) the discovery of a link between homosexuality and high IQ levels, e) undeniable proof that Abraham Lincoln was gay, f) visitors from another planet who convince the world to come together in peace and end prejudice in all contexts.” Who the Hell would have guessed the answer would be “a?” I know Michael Sam came out of the closet, but the man wasn’t exactly “well known.” As for “c,” it didn’t happen in 2014 as the quiz had predicted, but there’s still hope. The High Court will again consider whether or not to accept a marriage case during their January 9 conference. I think it’s common knowledge that gay men and lesbians are smarter than most and that Lincoln had a gay streak at the very least, but absolute proof eluded us last year. And we’re still waiting for the aliens. Maybe in 2015. One last thing before we start our quiz. Keep an eye on Florida in the next fortnight. Marriage in the PenisShaped State will start on January 6, unless the High Court steps in and extends a stay before that date. And now, to the quiz! Q1. In Cameroon, a man was charged with the crime of sodomy because: a) He wore a chartreuse cummerbund to his sister’s wedding, b) He knew the entire score of

“Company,” c) He enjoyed the occasional Bailey’s Irish Cream, d) He had an HRC equal sign sticker on his car. Q2. Benji, an Irish bull who preferred the company of his male pasture-mates, was saved from the slaughterhouse by: a) Simpson creator Sam Simon, b) Mozilla CEO Brendan Eich, c) Facebook millionaire Chris Hughes, d) Appellate lawyer Ted Olson. Q3. Who on the following list did not come out of the closet in 2014? a) Ellen Page, b) Apple CEO Tim Cook, c) Lithuanian Foreign Minister Linas Linkevicius, d) Christian singer Vicky Beeching, e) Kellogg’s mascot Tony the Tiger. Q4. A kickstarter campaign directed at our community is aiming to raise money for: a) A sanctuary for gay penguins, b) A coffee table book of vaginas illustrated by gay men, c) A forgiveness stone to be placed near the grave of Fred Phelps, d) A documentary about lesbian POWS in World War II. Q5. Some sorority girls at Hofstra University made the news for: a) Forcing pledges to perform oral sex, b) Getting kicked out of a cab in the dead of night on the Interstate for kissing, c) Suing the school after it removed a Pastafarian tribute to the Flying Spaghetti Monster, d) Wearing t-shirts that said lobsters were an abomination. Q6. In Greece v Galloway, the Supreme Court ruled: a) That a school district had the right to ban bracelets reading: ‘I Heart Boobies,’ b) That a for profit company could sidestep federal law based on the owner’s faith, c) That a town council could start virtually every session with a Christian prayer, d) That a prospective juror may not be dismissed based on sexual orientation alone. Q7. In 2014, 19 states moved to marriage equality. How many of these states were not under a mandate from a federal ap-

Professional Services pellate court? a) Three, b) Two, c) Four, d) Zero. Q8. Catholic institutions reacted to marriage equality by: a) Firing a recently married music teacher, b) Barring two elderly parishioners from communion based on their Washington wedding, c) Dismissing a pregnant lesbian teacher who was starting a family with her wife, d) Dumping a hospital administrator who wrote an op-ed in favor of equality, e) All of the above. Q9. Who said what? a) “F*cking faggot.” b) “Gays are fine, as long as “they leave the children alone.” c) “I would never do an ad with a homosexual family.” d) “My belief system in the Bible says you can’t be gay. That’s a sin.” e) “I may have the genetic coding to be an alcoholic, but I have the desire not to do that, and I look at homosexuality the same way.” f) “If your parents were faggots, you horrible gay c*nts wouldn’t have been born.” g) “I respect (gay people), but honestly I don’t think it’s a good example for kids.” Q10. After marriage equality, the next objective of the gay rights movement will be: a) Adding “sexual orientation” to the list of classes protected against discrimination under Title VII of the Civil Rights Act, b) Defeating legislative efforts that purport to protect religious freedom at the expense of GLBT customers, c) Consolidating the global community in a f ight against homophobia in Africa and the Middle East, d) Raising money for a coffee table book that features penises illustrated by lesbians. (continued on page 30)

Sister Dana Sez: Words of Wisdumb from a Fun Nun

By Sister Dana Van Iquity Sister Dana sez, “Why even bother having a Grand Jury? Grand JOKE is more like it. But I ain’t laughing. Fire the prejudiced prosecutors if they can’t do their job! #BlackLivesMatter!”

SONGS OF THE SEASON benefiting AIDS Emergency Fund at the Sir Francis Drake Franciscan Room. There we heard old classics and some new tunes from Donna, Dan O’Leary, Brian Kent, Brenda Reed, SWAG, and Vicki Shepard, with Michael Grossman on piano, Erika Johnson on percussion, and Rich Armstrong on trumpet. It was the best way ever to usher in the holidays with songs of jubilation, celebration, and a few tears.

R ICH MON D/E R M ET A I DS FOUNDATION presented HELP IS ON THE WAY FOR THE HOLIDAYS: XIII at Marines Memorial Theater. Benefiting Maitri Compassionate Care and Broadway Cares/ Equity Fights AIDS, the spectacular show was produced by Ken Henderson & Joe Seiler. Performances were by the cast and crew of Kinky Boots, with special guest stars American Idol finalist, actress Lotoya London; Broadway (Phantom of the Opera), TV star Davis Gaines; TV (X-Factor) Cabaret star Jason Brock; and Broadway (Rent, The Producers), TV (Malibu Country) star Jai Rodriguez. The show was enchantingly emceed by Rodriguez and drag queen, Kinky Boots swing Crystal Demure.

We joined friends and donors supporting ACADEMY OF FRIENDS at their annual HOLIDAY RECEPTION AT GUMP’S to shop and enjoy cocktails and canapés at the elegant store. There we heard AoF Vice Chair Matthew Denckla speak about the upcoming 35th anniversary gala, “A Century of Radiance,” Sunday, February 22, at the San Francisco Design Center Galleria. Board Chair Gil Padia spoke about how soon after the onset of the HIV epidemic, AoF dedicated themselves to the mission of working to ease the burden of this disease through the raising of funds in support of direct care for those with HIV/AIDS, and educational programs to prevent infection. Through their annual Academy Awards Night Gala, they have raised over $8,690,000 to support more than 73 HIV/AIDS service organizations in the San Francisco Bay Area.

DONNA SACHET presented her always f lawless 22ND ANNUAL

SAN FR ANCISCO LESBIAN/ GAY FREEDOM BAND presented

Holidays matter too, especially when they serve as charitable fundraisers.

DANCE-ALONG NUTCR ACKER: FROSTY’S HAWAIIAN HOLIDAY fundraiser at YBCA Forum. We joined Clara, Fritz and special guest star, Frosty the Snowman, as they donned grass skirts and strummed ukuleles on a holiday vacation in the tropical paradise of Hawaii. It was all one big luau until Uncle Drosselmeyer’s magical gifts went awry. Then it was up to the kids to save the day, with a little help from the Rat King Kahuna and, of course, us ever-spirited and profoundly talented dancing audience (Sister Dana was the Black Swan). This zany San Francisco holiday tradition is an annual fun-filled, wacky, audienceparticipation concert performed by San Francisco Lesbian/Gay Freedom Band, and includes original and musical selections from Tchaikovsky’s Nutcracker ballet. DANCERS, PRANCERS & VIXENS! is the title of this year’s holiday choral celebrations by the SAN FRANCISCO GAY MEN’S CHORUS, which was offered at Nourse Theatre last weekend, and parts of which will be available for the 25TH ANNUAL HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS concert in the Castro Theatre, December 24th at 5, 7, and 9pm. This was, and will be, a festive, heartwarming, and simply not-to-be-missed extravaganza! This season’s concerts feature traditional favorites along with new works, including a stunning world premiere by Ola Gjeilo, one of America’s most prominent contempo(continued on page 30)

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Read more @www.sfbaytimes.com and check us out on Twitter and Facebook. BAY T IM ES DEC EM BER 18, 2014

We Are Being Summoned to Ask Deeper Questions Now ARIES (March 21–April 19)Choose your aspirations wisely, Aries. Your professional prowess is potent now. Engage powerful allies by narrowing in on authentic desires and making your needs known. You deserve to be heard.

Astrology Gypsy Love What do you live for, lover? As our calendar year draws to a close, the cosmos requests that we reevaluate the reliability of current convictions. Celestially, we’re summoned to ask deeper questions now. Are we stumping our growth by submitting to someone else’s truth? Tune in, and take responsibility for what you believe to be right. Revel in this reminder by the late Robin Williams: “No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world.”

TAURUS (April 20–May 20) Ponder your principles, Taurus. Certain circumstances could compel you to reexamine your belief system now. Explore new havens for higher learning. Open your heart, and enjoy the ride.

GEMINI (May 21–June 20) Shake it off, Gemini. Your astrological forecast bodes quite beneficial for beginnings and endings now. Cast away extra baggage that blocks new assets from blooming. Prepare to prosper. CANCER (June 21–July 22) Unpredictability in

your relationship sector could cause you to question core values. Reflect on what you really want, Cancer. Commitments made now are likely to last a lifetime.

LEO (July 23–August 22) Behold the big picture, Leo. The planets promote positive vibes and playful pursuits now. Optimize this opportunity by sharpening skills that support long-term dreams. Let your “love light” shine!

VIRGO (August 23–Break the mold, Virgo. Your creative process is evolving. Ditch outdated habits and replace them with more meaningful modes of self-expression. You’re due for a redesign.

The

LIBRA (September 23– October 22) Refurbish your foundation, Libra. stars support home

improvements now. Whether your domestic duties are emotional or structural, cosmic clues reveal afflictions that have been squirming behind the scenes.

SCORPIO (October 23– Watch your mouth, Scorpio. Your words pack a punch now. The planets urge you to speak with poise and purpose. Say what you mean, and mean what you say.

SAGITTARIUS (November 22–December 21) Don’t sell yourself short, Sagittarius. The planets persuade you to personalize your earning potent ial. Financial strains are signals for you to become more self-sufficient. Invest in your unique talents.

CAPRICORN (December 22–January 19) What do you crave, Capricorn?

Cosmic forces are catering to your carnal needs. And, in case you haven’t noticed, you’re practically irresistible. Just remember—what goes around comes around.

AQUARIUS (January 20–February 18) Make peace with your past, Aquarius. Memories that have dwelled in the dregs of your psyche are now drawing close to the surface. Prevent uncomfortable eruptions by facing fears headon.

PISCES (February 19– March 20) Your public awaits, Pisces. Astral hues highlight the sweetness of your social graces. Collaborative efforts are infused with an innovative edge now. Get out there and make things happen.

Gypsy Love Productions is dedicated to inspiring love and unity with music, dance, and astrology. www.GypsyLoveProductions.com

As Heard on the Street . . . Name the one thing you would like to see happen in 2015.

compiled by Rink

Walter Parsley

Anna Damiani

Maitri Groonewardena

Paula Groves

Jokie X Wilson

“The Supreme Court approves equal marriage rights and adoption rights for LGBTs and makes it a constitutional ammendment”

“I would like to see the passage of a fully inclusive ENDA and a Congress that actually governs.”

“Less ideolog y and more mutual understanding everywhere”

“I would like to see that the climate stops changing.”

“I would like to see Pope Francis bless the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence at the Hunky Jesus/ Foxy Mary Contest.”

Steven Underhill

PHOTOGRAPHY

415 370 7152

WEDDINGS, HEADSHOTS, PORTRAITS

stevenunderhill.com · stevenunderhillphotos@gmail.com 24

BAY TIMES DECE MB E R 1 8 , 2 0 1 4

#KateClinton2014 This year my Secret Santa is Siri. I’m giving her a sense of humor.

Arts & Entertainment New Year’s Eve Party Planning Tips

By Courtney Lake

Ringing in the New Year among friends and family is one of the things I cherish most about the holiday season. Thanksgiving may mark the start of the holiday festivities, but it is New Year’s Eve that is the season’s true culmination. I love throwing a New Year’s Eve cocktail party—old and new friends, family and strangers gather close to toast the passing of one year and to usher in the start of one anew. So take the time to enjoy your guests by following these simple party planning tips: Make a signature drink. I love bubbles and I love mojitos, so I decided to combine the two into a festive holiday cocktail. Why not surprise your guests with a Champagne Mojito? Choose a slightly sweet sparkling wine like a demi-sec to really play up the lime elements in this drink. The best thing about this drink? You can make a pitcher in advance and set it up for guests to serve themselves! Now you are free to salsa the night away as you welcome the New Year.

Champagne Mojitos 2 cups of mint leaves, packed 8 limes, cut in wedges 2 cups of light rum, chilled 1 bottle of sparkling wine, demi-sec 1/2 cup simple syrup Combine simple syrup, mint and lime leaves in pitcher. Muddle ingredients together. Add rum to pitcher. To serve, fill shaker with cracked ice and shake until frosty. Fill glass 2/3 full and top with sparkling wine and a mint leaf. Keep food simple. It may sound like a no brainer, but New Year’s Eve is not the evening to plan out a menu of hot appetizers. I tend to like to keep my NYE parties low maintenance, which is why, if I can’t buy it already done, then it doesn’t get served. Last year, we served herbed popcorn sprinkled with spiced cashews, rosemary and thyme. The popcorn’s herbaceous quality is the perfect foil to the signature cocktail, plus, it’s darn easy to make. Ban the plastic cup. So I have a deep and utter dislike of plastic cups at a party. I know I just said to keep it simple, but simple doesn’t mean zero effort! I personally invested in several sets of Ikea wine glasses—inexpensive and dishwasher safe. They just make every drink feel festive! I plan for 4 glasses per person, which sounds like a lot but, on average, most people have 2–3 drinks at an event, accounting for breakage and those friends who imbibe a little more than others. Besides, there is something to be said for the clink of two glasses as you toast that you just can’t get with plastic! Don’t sweat the small stuff. Even a seasoned party thrower like me has been known to have a melt down or two while hosting. But honestly, don’t sweat it. You are surrounded by friends and family, so let whatever “disaster” happens roll off your back, and remember that you set the tone for the event. So relax, drink up and scope out whom you are going to smooch when the clock strikes midnight! Courtney Lake is the interior designer and lifestyle expert behind Monogram Décor (www.monogramdecor.com) and its celebrated blog, “Courtney Out Loud.” His work and writings have appeared on television and in writing including “The Wall Street Journal,” “The Nate Berkus Show,” the “San Francisco Chronicle,” “Life & Style Magazine,” “RUE Magazine,” “Real Simple,” “This Old House” and “7x7 Magazine.” BAY T IM ES DEC EM BER 18, 2014

Queer Films of 2014

Film Gary Kramer The year in queer film 2014 got off to a great start in January with the release of arguably the best queer film of the year, Alain Guiraudie’s explicit, erotic, and irresistible thriller “Stranger by the Lake.” The film placed considerable emphasis on full frontal nudity, a motif that was also visible in several films this year. Lars von Trier’s fascinating “Nymphomaniac” featured a parade of penises in “Part I” as Joe (Charlotte Gainsbourg), the film’s title character, recounts her multiple lovers, all of whom are seen naked from the waist down. Other memorable episodes in “Part II” include Joe being framed by two brothers (Kookie and Papou) and their elephantine erections, or her efforts to—ahem— arouse a Debtor Gentleman ( JeanMarc Barr). Even the campus comedy “Neighbors” promoted the penis. Zac Efron and his fraternity brothers make casts of their cocks to raise money—as well as hell and eyebrows. Teenagers grappling with their sexual identity were the basis for several enjoyable gay films in 2014. The best of the bunch was Darren Stein’s “G.B.F.,”

a highly amusing high school comedy, where the gay teen wasn’t a pariah, but a desirable accessory. “Dear White People,” by out f ilmmaker Justin Simien, was a clever campus satire that featured a gay student, Lionel Higgins (Tyler James Williams), who may be the most complex of the four central characters. He is possibly exploited, and both mentally and physically abused, but develops a resilience that has viewers rooting for him. Likewise, Leo (Ghilherme Lobo), the blind gay teen in the very fine Brazilian film “The Way He Looks,” struggles with others people’s perception of him, even though he is quite confident about his same-sex desires for a fellow student. Also of note was out filmmaker Matt Wolf’s “Teenage,” a terrific documentary narrated, in part, by gay actor Ben Whishaw, about how teenagers came of age and developed between 1904 and the post-WWII era. From London came “Pride,” the feelgood queer film of the year that had LGBT activists supporting striking miners during Thatcher’s iron rule. Other inspirational f ilms out this year include “Violette,” about the bisexual French writer Violette Leduc (Emmanuelle Devos in a committed performance), who is encouraged to write by her friend Simone de Beauvier (Sandrine Kiberlain). In gay filmmaker Scott Coffey’s under-seen comic gem “Adult World,” Amy (Emma Roberts) was a would-be poet who harasses her favorite writer, Rat Billings (a wonderfully acerbic John Cusack), to get him to mentor her. His guidance comes at a terrific— and terrifically funny—price.

Another sour comedy, gay writer/director Craig Johnson’s “The Skeleton Twins,” featured the queer Milo (Bill Hader) and his sister Maggie (Kristen Wiig), both of whom are suicidal. Milo, it seems, has not quite recovered from his illicit relationship with his English teacher (Ty Burrell) from when he was 15. While the twins have some fun lipsynching to Starship, much of “The Skeleton Twins” is a drag, and Hader plays a decidedly stereotypical gay character. Better comic material was on display in “Obvious Child,” a sweet and snarky comedy about Donna ( Jenny Slate), a stand-up comic who finds herself with child. Out comedian and writer Gabe Liedman had an impressive supporting turn as her gay best friend. And Liedman’s set, on stage in the film, killed. One of the odder, and maddening, trends in LBGT cinema in 2014 was a f ilmmaker’s use of a f inal queer twist. This device may have been meant to change the viewer’s understanding of the characters, but more often than not, it left a very bad taste in one’s mouth. So—spoiler alert!— when Pastor Jay Reinke comes out in the last moments of the over-praised, underwhelming, and unfocused documentary, “The Overnighters,” it feels like a cheat. This portrait of a flawed man is really a flawed film. Likewise, queer writer/director Gregg Araki’s “White Bird in a Blizzard” is supposed to shock viewers with its finale, and the discovery that two male characters were having an affair, but the twist feels cheap and unearned. Even the “surprise” at the end of the dysfunctional family comedy “This Is Where I

Leave You” reveals a characters’ samesex relationship, but it scans more as a “gotcha” than a real moment. What felt very real on screen this year was the relationship between Ben ( John Lithgow) and George (Alfred Molina) in Ira Sachs’ touching drama “Love Is Strange.” Here, an older gay couple gets married, but is soon forced to live separately after George loses his job. This lovely, observational drama

showcases a pair of touching performances by Lithgow and Molina, as well as some very nakedly emotional moments. © 2014 Gary M. Kramer Gary M. Kramer is the author of “Independent Queer Cinema: Reviews and Interviews,” and the co-editor of “Directory of World Cinema: Argentina.” Follow him on Twitter @garymkramer

NOVEMBER 8, 2014–FEBRUARY 16, 2015

Through his graffiti-inspired drawings, paintings, sculptures, and murals, Keith Haring created an immediately recognizable iconography that speaks to a diverse population. Making its US premiere at the de Young with more than 130 works of art, The Political Line lends gravitas to the artist’s career by focusing on his political activism. Exuberant, profane, witty, and provocative, the works in this exhibition trace Haring’s creative development and his historical significance as an advocate for social justice.

SPECIAL HOLIDAY HOURS! OPEN DAILY DEC 18–24, DEC 26–JAN 4 This exhibition is organized by the Fine Arts Museums of San Francisco. Director’s Circle: Penny and James George Coulter. Curator’s Circle: Sloan and Roger Barnett, Ray and Dagmar Dolby Family Fund, Holly Johnson Harris and Parker Harris, and the Shimmon Family. Conservator’s Circle: The Buena Vista Fund of Horizons Foundation. Supporter’s Circle: Nancy and Joachim Bechtle, Juliet de Baubigny, and Richard and Peggy Greenfield. Community Partner: WEBCOR Builders. The exhibition is supported by an indemnity from the Federal Council on the Arts and the Humanities.

Media Sponsors

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Keith Haring, Untitled, 1982. Enamel and Day-Glo paint on metal. Collection of the Keith Haring Foundation. Keith Haring artwork © Keith Haring Foundation

BAY TIMES DECE MB E R 1 8 , 2 0 1 4

Coming to a Holiday Event Near You: Musician Stephanie Teel Stephanie Teel: Bonnie Raitt will always be big on my list. Her music and style always keep me learning some of her songs to play at my gigs. Guitarists that inspire me are Joe Satriani, Santana, Stevie Ray Vaughan, and Eric Clapton. The musicians I play with in my band and other bands inspire me.

Kit Kennedy Recently I caught up with San Francisco native Stephanie Teel, an icon in the Bay Area music scene and beyond.

Kit Kennedy: Your musical career spans decades, since you formed the Stephanie Teel Band in the 1980s. How do you stay creative?

Stephanie Teel: I knew I wanted to play the g uitar when my grandfather gave me a guitar and taught me how to play two chords. I was 12 years old and got hooked. I always sang to myself and along with the radio as a child.

Kit Kennedy: Who inspires you?

Name Game

Michele Karlsberg Michele K arlsberg: How important are names to you in your books? Do you choose the names based on liking the way they sound, or based on their mea n i ng? Do you have a ny name choosing resources to recommend? Jennifer Camper: Names are an important part of storytelling. The characters in my comics have names that help explain who they are, and that ref lect personalities, age, ethnicities, gender-spectrum, physical appearance, attitudes, strengths and weaknesses. Characters might have only nicknames, or fantasy names, or

Kit Kennedy: When you’re not making music and are at home near Ocean Beach, what do you enjoy doing?

Stephanie Teel: Wow! Besides curing all diseases in the world? My own selfish wish would be that my mother was still alive to hear my original music and meet my new friends and fans that didn’t get to know her.

Stephanie Teel: As far as the cover dance music we play, I stay creative by trying to keep somewhat current with what people are listening to, and also to find older tunes and do them in a new way. Going out to hear other bands and concerts, when I have time, is a great way for me to get fresh song ideas. In my songwriting, I’ll take ideas from life’s situations and make them my own. Or take my own life and spin it in a different direction. boring names, or funny names, and some remain unnamed—whatever helps describe that character. Names of characters in a story should not be too similar or readers will be confused.

Words

You’ve practiced hard, bought good music equipment, made business connections and you’ve booked your own gigs. Never play for free!

Kit Kennedy: You’ve been granted one wish. What is it?

K it Kennedy: Who were your early influences?

I was also drawn to the funk, blues, Motown, and reggae musicians. Also Prince, Aretha, Chaka Kahn, Bob Marley, James Brown, and especially Bonnie Raitt.

Stephanie Teel: Go out and play live as much as you can. Don’t shut out the audience by just ignoring them as you jam with the band.

Stephanie Teel: I surf Ocean Beach when the waves are manageable enough for me, or surf Pacifica. I teach guitar lessons from home. Also, I enjoy time with my partner Jill, doing home projects and playing Mahjong. We are also sailors, and go sailing on the Bay throughout the year.

K it Kennedy: Your dad Mark Teel was a renowned sax player. When did you know that you wanted to make music?

Stephanie Teel: The folkies of the early 1960’s: Joan Baez, Joni Mitchell, Peter, Paul & Mary, Linda Ronstadt. Later, when I heard Jimi Hendricks and Janis Joplin, I turned to electric guitar. My parents influenced me in more sophisticated music, taking me to concerts of Ella Fitzgerald, Kenny Burrell, Andre Segovia, and the music my father played in Big Bands and orchestras.

K it Kennedy: What advice do you have for newer artists?

Names can sound old-fashioned or modern, sexy or repulsive, male, female or neither, exotic or ordinary, funny or serious—but not all readers will respond to names in the same way. I choose names that make sense to me and hope that my readers will understand too.

K it Kennedy: Currently your band’s fabulous musicians include Roy Schmall (keyboards/ vocals), Steve Valverde (vocals, bass guitar) and Robin Roth (drums b/u vocals). Congrats on your new album, “Going Coastal,” which is soon to be released. Tell us about it. Stephanie Teel: Yes, the new album is called “Going Coastal.” The single from the album is “No Fear,” which is available now as a download MP3, (continued on page 30) Mother” comix anthologies. Her cartoons and illustrations have appeared in magazines, newspapers, comic books and anthologies, and have been exhibited internationally. Website: www.jennifercamper.com Shawn Stewart Ruff: Mostly, my characters introduce themselves to me with their first, middle and last names. That doesn’t mean I’m convinced they are who they say they are, any more than they are pleased with the worlds I’ve planned for them to

In my comic “subGULZ,” the characters live in abandoned subway tunnels and are named Liver, Byte and Swizzle. Liver works as a hospital orderly, Byte is a computer-hacking janitor, and Swizzle is a bartender. Their nemesis is an evil police chief, a woman named Pekker. Some of my other comics characters are more reality-based—Chango (a tough Latina dyke), Leo Rinaldi (Italian business man), Auntie Max (lesbian Aunt), or Arab-American characters named Rania, Ramzi and Samira. Currently, I’m working on a story about a hit-woman called Jones. She says it’s not her real name, but her true name is never revealed.

live in. A timeout usually takes care of this: truly, out of sight, out of mind. Whether a month or many years hence, by the time we reconnect, I’ve forgotten their names, as I often promptly do upon meeting strangers. They have the freedom to change— not just their names, but also their gender, race, politics—for I believe in the power of transformation.

I collect ideas for names wherever I encounter them. Also, I scour lists of names for plants, animals, insects, minerals, chemicals, geography, astronomy, mythology, medical terms, etc. for name ideas. And, of course, sometimes I use the names of my friends.

This process is also inf luenced by my life. Names from childhood stick around, plus I encounter new people whose monikers tickle, intrigue, amuse, and stay with me. I may meet them in social and professional situations, or even transiting through time zones.

Cartoonist Jennifer Camper’s books include “Rude Girls and Dangerous Women” and “subGURLZ,” and she is the editor of two “Juicy

As often, names from my fiction and nonfiction reading, as well as favorite films, linger. Motifs and themes can also play a role. In my last novel, the protagonist, on our third meeting, reintroduced himself as Yale, which conjured an image of a lock that requires a (continued on page 30) BAY T IM ES DEC EM BER 18, 2014

See many more Calendar items @ www.sfbaytimes.com

compiled by Robert Fuggiti

• 18 : T HURSDAY

Montclair Women’s Big Band – Menlo Park Library. Free. 6:30 pm. (800 Alma St., Menlo Park) Enjoy a free concert in the park with the region’s most formidable jazz women. www.menlopark.org Live Comedy Night – El Rio. $7. 8 pm. (3158 Mission St.) This month’s line-up: Michael Meehan, Jabari Davis,Yuri Kagan, Lisa Geduldig and two very special guests. www.elriosf.com

• 19 : F RIDAY

Food & Toy Drive – SF Pride. Donation. 12 pm to 4 pm. ( 17th St. and Castro St.) SF Pride will be hosting its 2nd Holiday Food and Toy drive to benefit The Homeless Children’s Network and local community. www.sfpride.org Women of Fact and Fiction – Overcast Theater Company. $10. 8 pm. (2940 16th St.) The Overcast Theater Company of San Francisco, will present Women of Fact and Fiction, a festival of staged readings featuring two new plays by Bay Area playwrights. Also December 20. www.overcasttheatre.com

• 20 : S ATURDAY

The Christmas Revels 2014 – Oakland Scottish Rite Theater. $20. 8 pm. (337 17th St.) Filled with Cajun music, Appalachian clogging, old folk tales and holiday rituals. December 19-21. www.californiarevels.org Holiday Party – El Rio. Free. 6 pm. (3158 Mission St.) Get into the Holiday Spirit with a mix of Holiday,

Shen Yun will be at the San Jose Center for the Performing Arts January 2-4. Original, Jazz and Rock songs from The Amy Meyers & Judea Eden Duo. www.elriosf.com

• 21 : S UNDAY

2014 Windham Hill Winter’s Solstice – Grass Valley Center for the Arts. $15. 7 pm. (314 West Main St.) The Windham Hill Winter Solstice Celebration features Will Ackerman, Barbara Higbie and Liz Story with Todd Boston. www.centerforarts.org

White Christmas – Hillbarn Theatre. $20. 8 pm. (1285 East Hillsdale Blvd., Foster City) Celebrate the magic of the holidays with Irving Berlin’s White Christmas. Through December 21. www.hillbarnthetre.org

• 22 : M ONDAY

Safeway Holiday Ice Rink – Union Square. $10. 10 am to 11:30 pm. (Union Square) Celebrate the holiday season with a skate at the Safeway Holiday Ice Rink. Through January 19. www.unionsquareicerink.com A Charlie Brown Christmas – Davies Symphony Hall. $12.50+. 2 pm. (201 Van Ness Ave) The iconic Peanuts characters come to life on stage in this live production sure to delight. www.sfsymphony.org

• 23 : T UESDAY

Elf the Musical – Curran Theatre. $84+. 7:30 pm. (445 Geary St.) The hilarious tale of Buddy the elf comes to life in this fun-filled holiday production. www.san-francisco-theater.com Mittens and Mistletoe – Dance Mission Theater. $15+. 8 pm. (3316 24th St.) Enjoy a mesmerizing holiday themed circus cabaret. www.dancemissiontheater.com

local residents Tom Taylor and Jerry Goldstein. www.tinyurl.com/mhh98vz

• 25 : T HURSDAY

Tenderloin Tessie Free Christmas Dinner – First Unitarian Church. Free. 1 pm to 4 pm. (1187 Franklin St.) Volunteer for those in need this holiday season. www.tenderlointessie.com 22nd Annual Kung Pao Kosher Comedy – New Asia Restaurant. $45-$65. 8:30 pm. (772 Pacific Ave.) This year’s comedians include Jeremy Hotz, Sophira Eisenberg, Simon Cadel with MC Lisa Geduldig. www.koshercomedy.com

• 26 : F RIDAY

Kinky Boots – Orpheum Theatre. $75. 8 pm. (1192 Market St.) The exhilarating Broadway musical that will lift your spirits to new highheeled heights. Through December 28. www.shnsf.com Boswick the Clown’s Holiday Spectacular – Un-Script Theatre. $15. 11 am. (533 Sutter St.) Former Ringling Brothers Clown Boswick, is famous for his antics, his playfulness and being able to make children laugh. www.boswick.net

• 24 : W EDNESDAY • 27 : S ATURDAY Cinderella: A Family Holiday Panto – Marines’Memorial Theatre. $40+. 3 pm. (609 Sutter St.) The fairytale comes to life with boisterous cheer, music and dance. Through December 28. www.pantosf.com

Tom and Jerry Christmas Tree Viewing – Home of Tom Taylor and Jerry Goldstein. Free. 6:30 pm to 9:30 pm. (3560 21st St.) What has become a San Francisco holiday tradition begins its second decade as a gift to the Bay Area by 28

BAY TIMES DECE MB E R 1 8 , 2 0 1 4

Great Dickens Christmas Fair & Victorian Holiday Party – Cow Palace Exhibition Halls. $25. 7 pm. (2600 Geneva Ave.) The Great Dickens Christmas Fair is a one-of-a-kind holiday adventure into Victorian London. Through December 21. www.dickensfair.com Fiesta Navidada – Pena Pachamama. $16. 6:30 pm. (1630 Powel St.) Carolina Lugo’s & Carolé Acuña’s Ballet Flamenco. www.carolinalugo.com

• 28 : S UNDAY

Nutcracker – War Memorial Opera House. $25+. 2 pm. (401 Van Ness Ave.) This holiday season, experience the beauty and athleticism of SF Ballet’s international cast of world-class dancers in Nutcracker. Through December 29. www.sfballet.org Yuna – Mezzanine. $22. 9 pm. (444 Jessie St.) Sing-songwriter Yuna performs songs from her debut album ‘Nocturnal.’ www.mezzaninesf.com

• 29 : M ONDAY

Holiday Beach Blanket Babylon – Club Fugazi. $25-$130. 8 pm. (678 Green St.) Steve Silver’s famous music revue goes holiday with hilarious Christmas extravaganza. www.beachblanketbabylon.com

• 30 : T UESDAY

Cartooning Classes for Parents and Kids – Cartoon Art Museum. $10. 11:30 am. (665 Mission St.) Learn to draw a cartoon likeness of yourself or someone you know in our workshop on caricatures. www.cartoonart.org

• 31 : W EDNESDAY

Shopping – Eureka Theatre. $25. 8 pm. (215 Jackson St.) The 2014 Rhino New Year’s Eve spectacular returns with a one-performanceonly special presentation of the runaway hit musical Shopping. One performance only! www.therhino.org Brava’s New Year’s 2014 – Brava Theater Center. $35. 8 pm. (2781 24th St.) “Brava’s New Year’s Eve Comedy Fiesta” stars veteran stand-up comics Marga Gomez, Diane Amos and Betsy Salkind. www.brava.org

Ordering online is easier than picking up the phone.

• 1 : T HURSDAY

www.extremepizza.com

Happy Holidays

Live Music & Cabaret – The R3 Hotel. Free. 8 pm. (16390 4th St., Guerneville) Joe Wicht headlines at the R3 Hotel in Guerneville. January 1-3. www.ther3hotel.com Tubesteak Connection – Aunt Charlie’s. $4. 10 pm. (133 Turk St.) Dance the night away to great music and a fun crowd at one of the best gay dive bars in town. www.auntcharlieslounge.com

• 2 : F RIDAY

Hick: A Love Story – The Berkeley City Club. $20. 8 pm. (2315 Durant St., Berkeley) The romance of Lorena Hickok and Eleanor Roosevelt. www.crackpotcrones.com Boy Bar – The Café. $5. 9 pm to 2 am. (2369 Market St.) The Castro’s hottest weekly party with go-go dancers and early drink specials. www.guspresents.com

• 3 : S ATURDAY

50 Shades! The Musical – Marines’ Memorial Theatre. $55. 2 pm. (609 Sutter St.) The hit musical parody returns to San Francisco to kick off the New Year. Through January 4. www.shnsf.com Go BANG! – The Stud. $7. 9 pm. (399 9th St.) A monthly disco party with fierce dancers and flashy dressers. www.studsf.com

• 4 : S UNDAY

Shen Yun – San Jose Center for the Performing Arts. $60-$200. 2 pm. (255 South Almaden Blvd., San Jose) Shen Yun presents colorful and exhilarating performances of classical Chinese dance and music. January 2-4. www. tickets.shenyun.com

“Elf the Musical” will be at the Curran Theatre through December 28. from your favorite movie musicals and Broadway shows. www.edgesf.com.

limited engagement – 15 performances only! Through January 17. www.therhino.org

Karaoke Mondays – Lookout. Free. 8 pm to 1 am. (2600 16th St.) KJ Paul hosts a weekly karaoke night. www.lookoutsf.com

Smack Dab Open Mic Night – Magnet. Free. 8 pm. (4122 18th St.) An open mic night for all with host Larry-bob Roberts. www.magnetsf.org

• 6 : T UESDAY

• 7 : W EDNESDAY

WE DELIVER

DELIVERY . DINE-IN . PICK-UP . CATERING

Promises, Promises – San Francisco Playhouse. $30+. 7 pm. (450 Post St.) A tale of a lovelorn young executive and a romantically troubled waitress, knotted in a twist of sexual affairs and corporate shenanigans. Through January 10. www.sfplayhouse.org Trivia Night – Hi Tops. Free. 10 pm. (2247 Market St.) Test your trivia knowledge at this popular sports bar. www.hitopssf.com

He sees you when you're surfing He knows when you're gonna ski He knows when you've worked all day long That's why Santa says, “Get Extreme!"

o rd e r o n - l i n e

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“Kinky Boots” will be at the Orpheum Theatre through December 28.

The Anarchist – The Eurkea Theatre. (215 Jackson St.) $15-$30. 8 pm. The Anarchist by David Mamet will have its California premiere in this exclusive Theatre Rhinoceros production in San Francisco for a

Sunday’s a Drag Brunch – The Starlight Room. $60. 12 pm to 2:30 pm. (450 Powell St.) Donna Sachet hosts an elegant brunch with modern dance numbers, classic singing, and hilarious comedy. www.starlightroomsf.com

• 5 : M ONDAY

Monday Musicals: Superstar Edition – The Edge SF. Free. 7pm to 2am. (4149 18th St.) Enjoy clips

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SISTER DANA (continued from page 23) rary composers. There were, and will be, appearances by Santa, his elves and reindeer, a 1980s nativity scene, and an ugly sweater parade thrown in just for fun! Last weekend’s concert included “Gloria Fanfare,” “Ave Maria,” and a Christmas medley sung by the Chorus. Then the Singing String Quartet, Well-Strung, played and sang songs from the animated film, Frozen, interspersed with the high falsetto voices of the snow princesses sung by grown men. Delightful! The Chorus donned visors and joined Well-Strung in “Chanukah in Santa Monica,” along with half a dozen “old Jewish lady” drag queens lounging seaside. Hysterical! The Chorus continued with “Carol of the Bells” and a traditional German carol, “Lo, How a Rose E’er Blooming,” along with a soloist layering “The Rose” on top to produce a perfectly pleasing counter-melody. Changing the tone to silly, the Gay Men’s Chorus put on elf caps and did “Santa’s Shop Is Jumpin’” - a medley of familiar show tunes changed with original holiday lyrics. Out came the dancing reindeer and frolicking workshop elves. Clever! Act 2 had The Vocal Minority singing “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen.” The Lollipop Guild sang “Marvelous Holiday Sweater,” and modeled a series of tacky, gaudy, over-the-top,

but somehow charming Xmas themed sweaters - some even bigger than life! Well-Strung gave a stirring rendition of the Leonard Cohen “Hallelujah.” “Star Search” gave a new ‘80s disco approach to the guiding star over Bethlehem, which I will not elaborate upon further to make it a surprise for the December 24th show. Be warned: it’s full of puns! And always a sensation is “Silent Night” sung and illustrated with ASL hand gestures, followed by no sound and only hands telling the lyrics. Awesome! CUMMING UP! THE GOL DEN GIR L S: THE CHRISTMAS EPISODES is in its 9th annual All Drag Xmas Exdrag-aganza with all new costumes and sets (including live piano, so the audience can sing along to holiday tunes during scene changes). The Golden Girls wish to thank their fans for a fantastic Opening Weekend. It has been one of their best years yet. But those that haven’t yet gone, but are planning on it, do not delay. Several nights are already Sold Out. “From Here to the Pharmacy” has Blanche dealing with a promise she supposedly made to a soldier before he left for duty, and Sophia gets Rose to help write her will. “Journey to the Center of Attention” has Blanche jealous when Dorothy replaces her popularity in the local bar,

RAFAEL (continued from page 8) re-instate a wife-beater as Sheriff, and for her that was the end of the story. Finally, a brief update on the City College saga. On December 9, I was back in Judge Karnow’s courtroom listening to the closing arguments in City Attorney Dennis Herrera’s lawsuit. I thought Deputy City Attorney Sara Eisenberg made mincemeat of the ACCJC’s lawyers but, of course, I am biased. A tentative ruling from the Judge should come in a few weeks, to be finalized sometime in January. Meanwhile, the ACCJC is considering whether to grant the College an

additional two years to come into full compliance with accreditation standards under its new Restoration policy and will be making that decision next month as well. Keep your fingers crossed. January will be a big month for our College. That’s all I have for this month. Happy Holidayz, Queer Friends and Friends of Queers! Rafael Mandelman was elected to the San Francisco Community College Board of Trustees in 2012. He is a partner at Burke, Williams & Sorensen, LLP.

A1. c) A judge felt that Bailey’s was a feminine drink. A2. a) Considered useless as a stud, the owner was sending Benji to the butcher block. A3. c) and e) It was the Latvian Foreign Minister, Edgars Rinkevics, who came out of the closet, and Tony is simply a straight ally. A4. b) I wonder if the book is out. It’s called “Gay Men Draw Vaginas.” A5. a) Did I forget to say “allegedly?” Sorry! The girls in the cab were from Portland Oregon, and were coming home from a Vegan Strip Club. A6. c) It’s actually Town of Greece, but that makes it obvious. The juror case, which elevated sexual orientation to a suspect class, came out of the Ninth Circuit. The High Court ducked the bracelet case in favor of the students,

and ruled for corporate religious freedom in the Hobby Lobby case. A7. a) Illinois legalized marriage in 2013, effective 2014. Both Oregon and Pennsylvania legalized marriage on the orders of a lower federal court. A8. a) b) and c). I made up the hospital administrator but really, how many examples do we need? A9. a) Golfer Patrick Reed, to himself after missing a putt b) Vladimir Putin c) Barilla Pasta chairman Guido Barilla d) Masters champion Bubba Watson e) Texas governor Rick Perry f ) Some nutcase from Newcastlenamed Paul Gair, who was charged with hate speech after a Facebook rant g) “The Bachelor,” Juan Pablo Galavis A10. Don’t know the answer, but I have my sketchpad handy. arostow@aol.com

(KARLSBERG continued from page 27) combination or key. Around his name I constructed histories of an escape from American slavery, and of an emotional imprisonment that was the result of AIDS-born tragedy and sadness. Sometimes I’m curious to know if a name has a story or notable provenance. Google usually has the answer.

This is also your last chance to witness a 46-year-old boozer, user, and loser that must set aside all of her personal beliefs of nothing, and open her heart to the wrong and sexy feelings of Christmas. Your last stroll down the halls of Flat Point High as Jerri Blank finds the reasons for the seasons. This live rewrite play, STR ANGERS WITH XXXMAS CANDY, is directed by Dani Spinks with an original script by Ralph Hoy, Bob McIntyre, and Spinks. Loosely based on Comedy Central’s Strangers with Candy, this hilarious takeoff stars your favorite characters Geraldine Blank, played by the incredibly funny Bob McIntyre, Chrissi Trollop by Lauren Dav idson, mean cheerleader by Sadie Fenton, Tammi Littlenut by Kelly Fitzgerald, Principal Blackman by Lonnie Haley, ugly step-mama Sara Blank by DUNNING (continued from page 8) all have to sleep sometime. One action I will be taking is stepping down from the California Democratic Party’s LGBT Veterans Caucus Executive Committee when my term is up this year. Through the work of the committee, I had the honor of meeting Shawn Terris. Shawn is a former Marine Corps Captain and has led the caucus’ legislative efforts over the past two years as Chair of our Policy Committee. She is also a member of our LGBT community, and will likely be nominated to be the Veterans Caucus Chair. Shawn will be a tremendous leader, and I know she will take it to the next level. Continue

ROSTOW (continued from page 23) Quiz Answers

and Sophia plans a wake for herself, neglecting to tell attendees she is still alive and well. The show stars four veteran drag performers, Heklina (as Dorothy), Cookie Dough (Sophia), Pollo Del Mar (Rose), and Matthew Martin (Blanche) at Victoria Theatre, 2961 16th Street, December 18th-20th, Thursday, Friday & Saturday, 8pm; Sunday, 7pm. Be sure to sing along with the theme: “Thank You for Being a Friend!”

Lambda Literary Award-winning writer and editor Shawn Stewart Ruff has authored two novels, with a third, “The Griffin Jewels Saunders,” debuting July 2015. Michele Karlsberg Marketing and Management specializes in publicity for the LGBT community. This year, Karlsberg celebrates twenty-five years of successful book campaigns.

In 2015, I look forward to continuing my work as a member of the San Francisco Library Commission. In June, the American Library Association will have its national convention in San Francisco, coinciding with Pride Weekend, no

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FIGURED: OUT is the current display of art by CHARLES ANGLE on the exhibition walls of MAGNET, the health and wellbeing hub in the Castro for gay and bi men. Figured: Out encompasses the beauty and complexity of our community spotted by Angle at this year’s Up Your Alley Street Fair, barely a few days after arriving from the East Coast. My faves are Singled: Out and Out: On a Mission. Over the years, many organizations have joined the fight for queer rights. The Salvation Army does not appear to be terribly interested in anything other than denying that our Community has any rights at all. Please

less! It will be a great opportunity to show off our city and our tremendous library system to a national audience. If you have not been to your local library recently, I urge you to check it out. It’s not your parents’ library anymore as you’ll find eBooks, self-checkout, online book catalogs, children’s play areas and hundreds of live programs. They truly are your neighborhood’s literary and cultural center. The coming year will bring another election. We don’t know yet what propositions will fall on the ballot next fall, but we do know there will be some high profile elections—Mayor and Sheriff to name two. Senator Mark Leno has publicly stated he will not challenge Mayor Ed Lee, despite a heavy recruitment effort from the city’s progressive wing. It remains to be seen who else might step forward and declare their candidacy, but right now it seems the Mayor has the inside track to stay in

support THE SISTERS OF PERPETUAL INDULGENCE in San Francisco and nationwide as we ring bells, point fingers, and raise dollars to bring awareness of LGBTQ issues that are currently not a part of the Salvation Army’s Ministry. Nuns will be out in the evenings of December 20th and 21st with THE SALVATION SISTERS: ARMY OF NUN at Castro and 18th Street corners. Skip the homophobic Salvation Army’s kettles and drop bucks into our buckets going to Glide Memorial’s charities. EQUA L I T Y VODK A has just launched in support of equality for the LGBTQ community. It is exceptionally smooth with a silky taste from start to finish, but the bonus is that for every bottle purchased, Equality Vodka will make a donation to a nonprofit organization recognized for advancing the equality movement for the queer community. Nag your local bartender! Pornucopia: this week’s stocking stuffer flick pick is Saddle Up from hothouse.com Sister Dana sez, “Happy Holidaze, fire up your Yule log, and remember to keep the ‘X’ in Xmas!”

office. There will also be a contested Sheriff’s race, as Vicky Hennessy, a 30-year veteran of the San Francisco Sheriff’s department, looks to challenge Ross Mirkarimi. I’m excited at her candidacy, and wish her great success. I look forward to continuing to lead the Alice B. Toklas LGBT Democratic Club and serve on the County Democratic Central Committee as we navigate ourselves through this next election cycle. What about you? What do you want to start, stop and continue in 2015? I wish you the best in the coming year. Zoe Dunning is a retired Navy Commander and was a lead activist in the repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. She currently serves as the 1st Vice Chair of the San Francisco Democratic Party, as a San Francisco Library Commissioner, and as Co-Chair of the Board of Directors for the Alice B. Toklas LGBT Democratic Club.

RAINBOW WORLD FUND (continued from page 11) or just get so harassed that they leave. The Board of Supervisors passed legislation in April to increase payments landlords are required to give tenants they evict using the Ellis Act, but that legislation has been declared unconstitutional. The case is currently in appeal. If the appeal fails, then evicted tenants get payments ranging from $5,265 to $8,775 for disabled or elderly tenants. For most people, this barely covers all of their moving costs. The current Ellis Act is a win-win for property owners. In the bigger picture, the use of the Ellis Act and other tools to remove people from housing is a reflection of the war on the U.S. working classes. Increasing income inequality in San Francisco and the rest of the country is creating a two-tiered so(KENNEDY continued from page 27) on iTunes, CD Baby, Amazon, etc. Seven of the nine songs on the CD are my original songs. The album name is “Going Coastal” because many of the songs reflect my love of the ocean. Besides my band, I also have additional musicians who have added their talent to this project: Sonya Jason, sax; Paul Dorr and Tony Macaroni Keys; Jon Otis, drums and percussion; Carole Mayedo, violin. A l so, my l ate d r u m mer Steve Cameron, who died last

Becky Hirschfeld, artsy Geoffrey Jellineck by Derek Lozupone, Lulu Dinglebell by Layla Rudy, Orlando Pinatubo by Ricky Sakow, Coach Wolf by Alexia Staniotes, and jock brother Derrick Blank as well as history teacher Chuck Noblet by Adam Vogel. This is the only Christmas show featuring a wild, wacky, nasty version of Dickens’ A Christmas Carol (and three weird spirits), a live audition for the world’s worst holiday pageant, and a very naughty nativity with extraterrestrial effects. Performed at The EXIT Theatre, 156 Eddy Street. Show has its last run December 18th, 19th, 20th ,8pm. facebook.com/strangerswithcandysf

ciety, and is eroding our democracy. San Francisco’s economic, age, ethnic, cultural and social diversity are being impacted, and not in a good way. Just look at the drop in number of African American residents from 13% to currently around 4–6%. Yes, it is a brave new world, but is it the one San Francisco really wants? There are no easy answers to housing in San Francisco. Everyone does not work in the tech industry, and tech companies don’t reflect San Francisco’s cultural makeup. More housing is definitely needed; that will take time. It won’t happen fast enough to stem the exodus of writers, artists, low wage earners and activists leaving the city. You can already feel the City has lost some of it soulfulness. It is a delicate y e a r, p l a y e d o n t w o s o n g s . The album is in his memory. The CD will be released in January 2015.

balance. Fortunately, San Francisco is in a position to be very creative. Hopefully, we will be wise. And as an aside: Margaret Cho spoke at the Rainbow World Fund World Tree of Hope lighting ceremony at Grace Cathedral on December 1. She moved back to San Francisco recently, and has been focused on bringing attention to the plight of the homeless in San Francisco. She spoke of how her “father in comedy,” Robin Williams, inspired her as he was a huge advocate for the homeless, often writing into his movie contracts that the homeless be employed in the productions. She is transforming her grief for Robin into “Be(ing) Robin.” I think we all can take inspiration from her. Sunday, December 21 Barge Christmas Party! Sausalito Cruising Club 300 Napa Street, Sausalito

Kit Kennedy: Looking forward, I know you’re playing Winter Solstice at The Barge. Where else?

Featuring the Stephanie Teel Band (Steph, Steve, Roy, Robin)

Stephanie Teel: Yes, I’m playing at the Barge (Sausalito Cruising Club) on December 21. Here’s the schedule so far. Come dance with us! And thanks for all your support!

Please RSVP the day before to: events@sausalitocruisingclub.org with the names of your guests, and indicate if you’d like a reserved table.

$10 door charge, and an additional $13 if you want dinner.

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Round About - Dance Along Nutcracker 2014 and All Over Town Photos by Rink Frosty’s Hawaiian Holiday! was the theme of the SF Lesbian/Gay Freedom Band’s annual Dance Along Nutcracker held at Yerba Buena Center. Following the baton of artistic director Pete Nowlen, the show featured the popular dance along segments where audience members fill the aisles with dancing and merriment. Members of the band dress in costumes for the second half and a roaring good time was had by all. Since its debut in 1985, Dance Along Nutcracker has evolved into an internationally known event featured on CNN, in the Wall Street Journal and other media outlets.

The group known as Bridgemen held its 4th annual event at Magnet benefiting the SF Fire Department’s Toy Program. Volunteer Greg Rodenau and Magnet staffer Xavier Pepion were there

Singers Berlin and Raquela performed at the celebration of life for Danny Williams held at Beatbox. AIDS Emergency Fund’s Mike Smith and event host Ray Tilton at the celebration of life for comic Danny Williams. The Keith Haring sign they held was used at an AEF fundraiser emceed by Danny for many years.

Academy of Friends supporters Todd Creel, Dustin Thompson and Amanda Watson sold raffle tickets and displayed the prize, a Mercedez Benz, at 18th and Castro Streets. The winner will be announced at the AOF Gala on February 22.

A holiday tree walked in and joined guests at the Openhouse art exhibit, Vantage Points, during the opening reception at the SF LGBT Community Center. The show features works by artists age 60+.

Oz, owner of the new Oz Pizza shop on Castro Street and server David with a large tasty pizza fresh from the oven.

(KENNEDYcontinued from page 30) Saturday, Dec. 27 Nicks 100 Rockaway Beach Avenue, Pacifica Stephanie plays with the Sound Waves 8 at midnight. Sunday, December 28 Half Moon Bay Brewery

with the Cruise Tones 7:00–10:00pm Tuesday, December 30 The Fairmont San Jose Hotel Lobby Stephanie and Dana duo, 8:30–11:30pm Saturday, January 3 Roosters Roadhouse

1700 Clement Avenue, Alameda New Year’s Party with the Stephanie Teel Band. $12 door charge. Thursday, January 8 Java Beach Café 2650 Sloat Boulevard, San Francisco Friday, April 10 Seahorse Sausalito 305 Harbor Drive, Sausalito

$15 door charge. To contact Stephanie Teel: music@stephanieteel.com To follow the Stephanie Teel Band: www.stephanieteel.com

A holiday-costumed skater known as “Palmer” wearing a belt with a buckle saying “SHOP” was seen in the Castro in early December.

Kit Kennedy is the “San Francisco Bay Times” Poet in Residence. For more information, please visit www.poetrybites. blogspot.com and www.kit.awegallery.com BAY T IM ES DEC EM BER 18, 2014