San Francisco Bay Times May 1, 2014

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LGBT Postage Stamps – Pages 14&15

National News Briefs Compiled and with commentary by Dennis McMillan

New York, NY - Opponents Scrambling As “Reform the Platform” Initiative Launches - 4.25 Two anti-freedom-to-marry organizations released an advocacy poll this week showing the Republican base opposes marriage for gay couples. The poll was a response to the new $1 million effort launched last week by the Young Conservatives for the Freedom to Marry to remove divisive, anti-gay language from the GOP party platform in advance of the 2016 GOP Convention.

Boise, ID - No Military Burial for Wife of 74-Year-Old Lesbian Navy Veteran - 4.24 An Idaho cemetery for veterans is refusing to bury the ashes of a lesbian couple together because the state does not recognize same-sex marriages. Madelynn Taylor served in the US. Navy from 1958 to 1964. She was discharged, along with several other women in her unit, after another recruit told superiors that they were gay. But Taylor later petitioned to have her discharge documents read “honorable.”

Young Conservatives for the Freedom to Marry is a campaign to highlight and build support for the freedom to marry among young conservatives across America. They represent the rapidly growing numbers of young conservatives across the country that agree all Americans should be able to share in the freedom to marry.

When Taylor—now, 74 years old, and in failing health—presented those documents along with a certificate of marriage to her late wife Jean Mixner, the Idaho Veterans Cemetery refused to reserve a joint-spot for the two women’s ashes, something the cemetery allows heterosexual couples to do.

That’s because the Idaho Constitution defines marriage as an institution between one man and one woman, and as such, does not consider Taylor and Mixner’s 2008 union valid. (The two legally wed in California before Proposition 8.)

“Those who oppose this unifying effort to improve the platform are on the wrong side of history and on the wrong path to winning back the White House in 2016,” said Tyler Deaton, campaign manager for the Young Conservatives for the Freedom to Marry. “In my lifetime, Republicans have only won the national popular vote twice. It’s time to broaden the base. Opposition to the freedom to marry is crumbling in the Republican Party—and that includes among young evangelicals who comprise the base of the party. The entire party is, thankfully, moving toward more freedom, less government, and a more consistent conservatism.”

“We have to follow the Idaho definition of spouse,” said Tamara Mackenthun, deputy administrator at the Idaho Division of Veterans Services. Taylor disagrees with that logic. “I don’t see where the ashes of a couple old lesbians is going to hurt anyone,” she said.

Non-partisan, scientific polls show opposition to the freedom to marry among conservatives declining as support rises. 64% of millennial evangelicals support marriage for gay couples. A Pew poll earlier this year shows 61% of Republicans under the age of 30 are supportive, as are a majority of Republicans under 45.

Idaho is one of 33 states that currently prohibits gay couples from marrying, and does not recognize same-sex marriages performed anywhere else. Four gay couples have filed a federal lawsuit seeking to overturn the state’s 2006 voter-approved amendment limiting marriage rights exclusively to heterosexual couples. A hearing is scheduled in that case for May 5.

The new campaign, called “Reform the Platform,” reflects pro-freedom grassroots activity already seen in states like Nevada, Indiana, California, Oregon, and New Mexico. “Reform the Platform” will begin touring the early primary states of New Hampshire, Iowa, Nevada, and South Carolina this spring and summer.

Taylor said that if she died before the Idaho State Veterans Cemetery agreed to accept her ashes along with Mixner’s, someone else would keep them together until the law changes. “Eventually I’m going to be there. It’ll happen,” she said. “They might as well give up and let us go now.”

Conservatives are making their voices heard in the fight for the freedom to marry across the country. In the states, conservatives have cast key votes in favor of marriage bills and made powerful statements in states like Minnesota, New Hampshire, New York and Washington.

It would seem some people would like to discriminate against queers, even in the afterlife!

Source: msnbc.com

Increasingly, young conservatives are seeing the freedom to marry as something that protects all families.

Alas, the old conservatives are standing in the way—like the stubborn elephants they are!

Source: freedomtomarry.org

Las Vegas, NV - LGBTQ Legal Town Hall with Nevada AG to Take Place - 4.23 Los Angeles, CA - Gay Judge in Prop 8 Case Once Underwent Conversion Therapy - 4.23 Coming out from Jo Becker’s controversial new book on marriage equality, Forcing the Spring, is news that the federal judge who struck down California’s Proposition 8 as unconstitutional once underwent therapy to cure himself of being gay.

Vaughn Walker only came out as gay after he formally retired from the bench, but it was an open secret that he was gay while he was hearing the Prop 8 case. What no one knew apparently is that Walker’s long journey as a gay man included trying to rid himself of his feelings. In Becker’s book, Walker recounts how in the late 1970s, when he was in his 30s, he chose “to see a psychiatrist about my … affliction.”

Ultimately, the shrink declared Walker cured because he had never had sex with another man.

Walker says he “badly wanted to believe it was true,” in no small part because of the harm being gay might have meant to his career. Walker continued to date women, and only entered into his first relationship with a man when he was in his late 30s. After becoming a judge, he “began to live a little more openly,” visiting a gay bar and bringing his partner to social events.

Walker’s therapy sessions came back to him during the Prop 8 trial when Ryan Kendall testified about having to undergo conversion therapy as a 14-year-old, finally running away from home and struggling with depression for a decade. Kendall testified as evidence that sexual orientation is immutable. Walker said the testimony was “the most touching” of the trial.

Needless to say, Walker has been vilified by anti-marriage forces for not recusing himself from the Prop 8 trial. Walker dismissed the complaints as unfounded. African American judges hear race discrimination cases all the time, while female judges hear cases charging gender bias, he argued.

Why shouldn’t a gay man hear the challenge to Prop. 8? The objection was heard, but ultimately dismissed, by a judge.

Still more reasons to call Judge Walker a hero!

Source: queerty.com

On May 28, Nevada Attorney General Catherine Cortez Masto and others will join the local Las Vegas LGBTQ community for a conversation about the state of legal equality for LGBTQ Nevadans. This is a unique opportunity for the Nevada LGBTQ community to interact with the top legal official for the state, and to surface some of the most urgent needs of the community.

The event will be at the LGBTQ Center of Southern Nevada, but will also include a social media component that will allow LGBTQ folks from across the state to submit questions, offer thoughts, and interact with panelists. Topics to be covered: the impact of immigration law on LGBTQ immigrants, the targeting of the transgender community by law enforcement, various issues related to the legal rights of samesex committed partners, and much more.

“In what we hope will result in a regular series, we are thrilled to bring together a diverse group of attorneys and leaders facing the reality of the ever-changing climate of LGBTQ legal issues,” said co-moderator Marek Brute, a local attorney recently named one of the “Best LGBT Lawyers Under 40” by the National LGBT Bar Association, and a plaintiff in Nevada’s marriage equality case. “As the battle for marriage equality looks like an inevitable victory, we want to take time to explore some of the other existing and developing legal issues that face the LGBTQ community in an accessible and interactive forum that we hope will inspire some real dialogue.”

“While it may be true that marriage equality is inevitable, it is not a freedom that queer Nevadans can celebrate fully today,” said Holly Huth of Gender Justice Nevada. “For me, equality protection does not begin or end with marriage equality...not by a long shot. I am hopeful that our town hall with the Attorney General will allow us to gain knowledge of how to approach the discrimination that is currently affecting our community on a daily basis with little to no regard for the laws that are currently in place.”

What an honor that AG Masto has graciously made room for this historic LGBTQ Legal Town Hall, especially given that there are so many legal issues affecting the queer community in Nevada!

Baton Rouge, LA - Twelve States Still Ban Sodomy a Decade After Court Ruling - 4.24 A dozen states still have anti-sodomy laws on the books ten years after the US. Supreme Court ruled they are unconstitutional.

One such state is Louisiana, where gay rights groups contend police have used anti-sodomy laws to target gay men. But state lawmakers sided with religious and conservative groups in refusing to repeal the law last week.

Of 14 states that had anti-sodomy laws, only Montana and Virginia have repealed theirs since the Supreme Court ruling, said Sarah Warbelow, legal director for the Human Rights Campaign, a national gay rights organization. Warbelow says that in addition to Louisiana, anti-sodomy laws remain on the books in Alabama, Florida, Idaho, Kansas, Michigan, Mississippi, North Carolina, Oklahoma, South Carolina, Texas and Utah.

The Supreme Court ruled in Lawrence v. Texas in 2003 that it is unconstitutional to bar consensual sex between adults, calling it a violation of the 14th Amendment.

Last year, police in East Baton Rouge Parish arrested gay men for attempted crimes against nature using the anti-sodomy law in a sting operation that caused a national outcry. The district attorney wouldn’t bring charges against the arrested men, saying the law was unenforceable.

This led Rep. Patricia Smith, D-Baton Rouge, to file the bill that would repeal Louisiana’s anti-sodomy law, saying it would make the system fairer and more efficient. “We don’t need inefficient laws on the books,” she said. Her fellow representatives, however, disagreed and voted 66-27 on April 15 to keep the law in place.

It’s sad to me that sodomy is ever considered a crime, and that rhymes!

Source: Edgeonthenet.com

Source: prnews2.com

Local News Briefs LGBTQ Youth Rally in Sacramento for Opportunity to Stay in School More than 50 high school students from across California were on Sacramento’s Capitol lawn to advocate for three bills that would help ensure all youth, including LGBTQ youth, have the opportunity to be themselves at school, do well and graduate. The youth were gathered for the 9th annual Queer Youth Advocacy Day, which unites LGBTQ and straight ally youth activists from Gay-Straight Alliance clubs across state.

“Our goal is the same as our peers’: we wish to graduate high school and be successful, but bullying and unreasonable school discipline policies stand in the way of our every chance,” said Pat Cordova-Goff, a Gay-Straight Alliance Network youth leader who partly credits the School Success and Opportunity Act, a law passed after last year’s Queer Youth Advocacy Day, with her ability to be herself and do well in school this year. “There is no excuse to deny LGBTQ students or any youth the same opportunities to learn as their peers, and we are asking legislators to take a stand in support of all California youth.”

Supervisor Wiener Calls for Hearing on Funding for HIV/AIDS Services Supervisor Scott Wiener is calling for a hearing at a Board of Supervisors meeting to discuss funding proposals for HIV services in the upcoming 2014/2015 San Francisco budget, including expected federal budget cuts for HIV care and prevention services. San Francisco has experienced huge HIV funding cuts from the federal government in recent years. Supervisor Wiener has worked each year with the community, the Mayor, and city staff to backfill those cuts in the city budget.

At the hearing, the Department of Public Health, the Mayor’s Budget Office, and community organizations will report on what the projected funding shortfalls will be for HIV services, what the impacts of these shortfalls will be, and how the city can work to fill them.

Speakers included Senators Ricardo Lara (D-Bell Gardens), Mark Leno (D-San Francisco), and Assembly Speaker John Pérez (D-Los Angeles).

“Ensuring continued funding for HIV services in San Francisco has been one of my top priorities since I took office,” said Supervisor Wiener. “Any interruptions or cutbacks in treatment can be devastating for our most vulnerable citizens who are living with or at-risk for HIV. Through the last two budget cycles, we’ve successfully fought to ensure that our city budget continues to fully fund HIV services, and this year we will make sure we do it again. Lives depend on it.”

Following the rally, students visited their representatives’ offices to advocate for three bills that would help students stay in school: Reducing the Use of Costly and Harsh Discipline (AB 420), Ensure School Safety (SB 840), and Fair and Successful School Transfers (SB 1111). More than 75 visits have been scheduled to take place.

Federal budget cuts for HIV care (Ryan White Care Act) and prevention (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention) services in the upcoming fiscal year are estimated to amount to $2.7 million.

SB 840, authored by Senator Ricardo Lara, improves the handling of bullying and bias-based harassment. The bill was prompted by a report released by the State Auditor last August, “School Safety and Nondiscrimination Laws,” which found that school bullying prevention efforts are falling short. Senator Lara also authored SB 1111, which helps ensure that students being temporarily placed in county community schools have a successful transfer to and from those schools. Assemblymember Dickinson’s AB 420 would limit the use of suspension and expulsion for “willful defiance,” a category used in 40% of California suspensions that can mean anything from a lesbian student holding her girlfriend’s hand to a gender nonconforming student breaking the school’s dress code.

“Due to the federal level funding reductions for this upcoming year, San Francisco faces an anticipated budget shortfall that will destabilize our current continuum of HIV prevention, testing, and care services,” said Lance Toma, Vice President of the HIV/AIDS Providers Network. “This system of care is life-saving for thousands of San Francisco residents who are living with and at-risk for HIV. The HIV/ AIDS Providers Network will continue to work hand in hand with Supervisor Wiener, Supervisor Campos, and our Mayor to ensure that San Francisco continues to be a national leader in the fight against HIV/AIDS and maintains our commitment to those in San Francisco whose lives are impacted

by HIV.”

Why are there so many barriers to getting a decent education?

HIV services should never be on the budget chopping block.

Story by Dennis McMillan

Story by Dennis McMillan

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News Mitigating the Impacts of Evictions eviction. One of the pieces of legislation we developed is an ordinance to greatly increase the amount of money that landlords must pay tenants whom they are evicting under the Ellis Act. This legislation gives tenants like Jeremy a fighting chance to stay in San Francisco, as well as discourages speculation.

Building a Coalition of Us-es Supervisor David Campos (Editor’s Note: We are honored to present a new column for the Bay Times, authored by Supervisor David Campos. We have long admired his work and his efforts to champion the rights of individuals, small businesses and families, often when no others appeared to care or listen. While some politicians rule from on high, distancing themselves from numerous others, Campos rolls up his sleeves and interacts directly with his constituency and additional San Francisco residents, respecting their voices. It seems fitting that his column should launch in an issue featuring Harvey Milk on the cover, because this column for the Bay Times was inspired by Milk’s efforts to build a coalition of what Milk termed “us’es,” meaning communities that value diversity and attempt to leave no one behind.)

In September of 2012, when Jeremy Mykaels learned from his landlord that he was being evicted from his Castro apartment under the Ellis Act, he was devastated. Not only would he lose his apartment of more than 17 years, but he was also terrified that he would be forced to move out of his beloved San Francisco, his home since the early 1970s. The landlord, who had recently purchased the building, was only obliged to give him $7,500 dollars—$3,000 more than an average tenant because of his senior and disability status—but not nearly enough to help him find another place to live in San Francisco, where the median price of a one bedroom apartment is now $2,500 a month.

After hearing from dozens of tenants like Jeremy, I spent the last 6 months working closely with the tenant rights movement to develop policy ideas that could help tenants dealing with

Known as the Relocation Assistance Ordinance, this legislation, which was passed by the Board of Supervisors on April 22, 2014, requires landlords who evict using the Ellis Act to pay the difference between the tenant’s rental rate before eviction and the market rate for that unit to the evicted tenant for two years. This ensures that relocation payments adequately represent true market costs and allow displaced tenants who would face dramatically higher rent costs the opportunity to stay in San Francisco.

Landlords may have the right under the Ellis Act to evict people, but I believe San Francisco has not only a right, but also an obligation, to mitigate the impacts of those evictions.

This is an immediate, local solution that will assist San Franciscans who are being displaced today.

Ellis Act evictions are coming at the expense of people in our community who embody the spirit of San Francisco and are fighting to continue to call it home. Speculators are cannibalizing the rent controlled housing stock in San Francisco by using the Ellis Act to evict long-term tenants and reap enormous profits. Current relocation assistance rates are barely enough to allow someone to afford three months of rent in San Francisco and, as a result, most evicted tenants are leaving San Francisco—the city they have called home for decades.

My legislation is one tool we can use in this struggle for the soul of San Francisco. In the coming months, I invite you to join me to protect the rights of tenants and address the affordability crisis impacting San Francisco. To paraphrase Harvey Milk, we need to build a coalition of “us-es.”

David Campos is a member of the San Francisco Board of Supervisors representing District 9. For more information about Supervisor Campos and his work, please visit www. sf bos.org/index.aspx?page=2117

Health News

When a Woman Has a Prostate organs receive the health care needed, regardless of the individual’s chosen gender. Prostates need to be palpated, cervixes need pap smears, breasts need exams and mammograms, and problems such as prostate enlargement, unusual bleeding from the vagina, sores on any organ or discharge from any orifice need to be worked up.

Friends of Naomi Dr. Naomi Jay, RN, NP, PhD I feel a lot of prostates; it’s part of my job. And yes, a fair number of my patients are women with prostates and men with vaginas. In fact, the majority of transgender people have not had any gender-aff irming surgery. It is therefore not uncommon for a woman to have a prostate, penis and scrotum, or for a man to have a vagina, uterus and ovaries.

Breasts may be reduced or augmented, depending on the desired outcome. It is important that the individual and their

For those who have had surgery, the alterations need to be monitored to keep those individuals healthy. Urinary tract infections are common in MTF, and a constructed vagina may need regular dilation or intercourse. In FTM, the vagina may atrophy, if present, and this can cause varying degrees of discomfort.

While surgery is uncommon, most transgender people do take hormones to aff irm their gender. Hormones can cause a large array of health care problems including blood clots, gallstones, elevated liver enzymes, and high cholesterol in MTF taking feminizing hormones. Or, in FTM taking masculinizing hormones, there may be increased red blood cell count, sleep apnea, weight gain, and elevated (continued on page 26) BAY T IM ES M AY 1, 2014

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The KiAi Way Sensei Jamie Leno Zimron Peak Performance Speaker and Trainer Growing up in the Midwest, all I wanted was to be a Major League baseball player. It’s hard to describe just how much I loved baseball. I was still a tiny little girl, and the Braves hadn’t quite left Milwaukee. (To this day, I can’t accept that they’re in Atlanta!) Henry Aaron was the greatest outfielder and home run hitter, and I was a southpaw like the great Warren Spahn, so I dreamed of being a big league pitcher.

There was just one catch (no pun intended). I was a little girl, not a little boy. There was to be no baseball career for me. It didn’t matter how much I breathed, read and dreamed baseball, or that I kept up and knew every RBI, ERA, baseball stat and standing, by heart, by age 6. Or that I could bat, throw, and catch with the best of the boys in my school, and I beat almost all of them. Girls still weren’t allowed into Little League, and all it took was me falling down once, when I missed a ball hit my way, for the adults in the neighborhood to ban me from playing with the boys down the block.

So I was relegated to bouncing pitches and batting balls against our garage door by my lonesome, playing catch when my dad would occasionally agree, and collecting baseball cards of all those lucky guys who got to play.

Why were they allowed to follow their passion and dreams, and not me? The pro sports world hasn’t been much friendlier to Jews than to women or gay people, but Sandy Koufax made it on the mound to the World Series and Hall of Fame. Being Jewish didn’t stop his talented left arm the way my mere gender did. Why did he get to play his heart out on the ball field, while I grew up literally crying my heart out in therapy over the pain and injustice of it all?

When I was 7, both my mom and dad took up golf—a sport I was allowed to play. In 1950, thirteen pioneering women with unstoppable courage, vision and raw desire to play founded the Ladies Professional Golf Association.

Amongst them was Babe Didrickson Zaharias, arguably the greatest allround athlete of all time. She was an Olympic track & field gold medalist, an All-American basketball star, and she dominated women’s golf. She is one of only a few ‘Grand Slam’ male or female titleholders to this day, and was also an expert diver, roller-skater, bowler and baseball player. Additionally she was an excellent seamstress who sewed many of her own sports outfits. She was a singer, harmonica player and recording artist, and performed in traveling vaudeville. Wikipedia noted that The Babe “broke the accepted models of femininity in her time…Although a sports hero to many, she was also derided for her ‘manliness.’”

With my own natural athletic ability, I was shooting in the 80s by age 10, won the Wisconsin State Junior championship multiple times, and ranked in the Top Ten nationally. I was collegebound for Stanford, though without a golf scholarship, or much of a team to play on, because such things didn’t yet exist for girls. I was just ahead of Title IX legislation mandating schools that receive federal funding to provide equal opportunities and dollars for female, as well as male, athletes and programs. Title IX has gone a long way to support scholarships, teams, competitive events and conferences for young women. But big disparities still persist vis-a-vis their male counterparts, despite equality being the law.

No doubt some of you reading this have similar painful and unfair stories of your own. It’s amazing to look and see just how much basic sexism has impacted our lives and the world we live in. Thanks to Title IX, and the feminist/women’s liberation movement, things are definitely changing for the better since my childhood. But honestly, girls’ bodies are still more likely to be sexually objectified than athletically encouraged, and we are still far

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P H OTO S C O URT E S Y O F T H E K I AI WAY

Shattered Dream Fuels Ardent Desire for Equality in Sports

from parity in opportunity or pay for professional women’s sports.

In 1963, President Kennedy signed the Equal Pay Act, yet women today still earn varying fractions of what men make (77% on average). President Obama has recently become very outspoken and activist towards ending the financial gender gap and ensuring equal pay for equal work. Knowing he’s a big sports enthusiast, I wonder if he’s aware that most sports don’t even have pro women’s leagues, and that the pay gap in those that do is far greater than in most other professions. Here are a few shocking statistics in leading sports: 1) In women’s pro basketball, as of 2012, the annual WNBA team salary total was $900,000 with a cap of $101,000 for any individual player. By contrast, in the men’s NBA, the Los Angeles Lakers annual team pay total was $100 million, with Kobe Bryant (yes, of sexual harassment fame) earning $27 million. That’s 270 times more than any female player, and twice as much as all the women in the entire WNBA league of twelve teams combined. The Houston Rockets had the lowest total team salary in the league, and their bottom-rung player made $473,000. That’s nearly 5 times what the best highest-paid WNBA stars were paid, playing the same sport!

2) In golf in 1998, LPGA superstar Annika Sorenstam’s winnings - on the strength of 4 victories and being named Player of The Year - would have placed her 24th on the PGA (men’s) earnings list. More recently, Annika wryly noted making one-seventh of Tiger Woods’ prize money, despite her equal or better tournament records.

3) In tennis, Maria Sharapova—on top for 9 incredible years—made $29 million from June 2012-2013. Tennis has by far the highest and near-parity pay scale for women than any other sport, yet Tiger and a host of top NFL, NBA, NHL and baseball players pulled in 2–3 times as many millions as Maria.

A big part of the problem is that sports media and advertising is a multi-billion dollar business, and male values dominate. In a world that prizes fast, rough and tough action, women in sports are less valued, and viewer interest is less encouraged, no matter the athlete’s level of excellence. Combined with the sexist predilection to objectify and disempower women, our society’s mindset and media just aren’t so interested in rewarding the strength, independence and achievements of female athletes.

In a thoughtful 2013 article entitled “Female Athletes Still Face Inequality,” writer Ana Rodriguez suggests: “Society doesn’t like to see women in roles that go against the norm of what a woman ‘should be’…sexy, highly feminine, passive, graceful and weak.

Nowhere does the word ‘athletic’ appear on that list…The idea of a strong, fast, powerful woman leaves many feeling uncomfortable because it isn’t seen as an attractive or traditional characteristic.” She goes on to examine the double standard for pro women athletes, who need to excel not only in their sport, but also be pretty, photogenic, and dress and look right. Sex appeal often trumps talent in determining their success and earning power.

Concludes Rodriguez: “It’s high time (continued on page 26)

Business Outings

Oakland’s Café Crush Will Leave You With a Natural High You know a place has to serve up healthy fare when, on any given day, it draws nutritionists, nurses and doctors—some still wearing their work garb. But the patrons of Café Crush also include students, buff bikers, families, and just anyone desiring a delicious vegan smoothie or meal. The café is the vision of nutritionist and Bay Area native Lacey Helene, who has turned this humble spot into a destination for good health and good eats on Piedmont Avenue in Oakland. The offerings are diabetic friendly, mostly raw, and are free of gluten and nuts.

What the Café does serve are drinks and dishes with ultra bright color and flavor, with most producing a natural high originating from a blast of energizing nutrients. If your body is a temple, Café Crush is the place to honor it.

Here, L acey Helene shares her thoughts about the popular café and how to promote and support good health through diet.

Bay Times: For readers who haven’t been to Café Crush before, what ca n t hey expect?

What’s unique about Café Crush that visitors likely won’t find at other Cafés and restaurants?

Lacey Helene: We do healthy our way and our goal is for you to eat tons of veggies and fruits! You’ll feel increased energy levels and an increased focus with our whole veggie products.

We provide the raw power of micronutrients your body craves to match your unstoppable drive. Our chill, often silly, style of healthy lets you be you while helping you to achieve healthy lifestyle changes.

Our whole veggie products are proudly made with real ingredients—real fiber, bioavailable micronutrients & whole plant deliciousness. Our green smoothies, our most popular products, are light with refreshing fruit notes.

They are made with raw orchard fruits as a “sweetener” and a base of reverse osmosis water. Made fresh daily, our products are designed to be high in micronutrients and fiber while being low in sugar, fats and simple carbohydrates. What is appealing about our products is their simplicity; I develop everything we serve to be genuinely healthy using real food and tons of veggies with the deep understanding of nutrition and people’s desire for something that actually tastes good. Being healthy should be fun, and eating food that is enjoyable is a huge part of successfully reaching your health goals.

Bay Times: Your clientele is incredibly diverse. Do you attribute this to your location, the menu, or...?

Lacey Helene: Why we attract so many different groups of people is simple: we want everyone to be healthier, happier and feel beautiful in their own body. I want everyone to celebrate his or her quirky self because health doesn’t have one size or one face; it

is in all of us. As a born-and-raised Bay Area native, I aspired to create a place where everyone could be who they are. Being healthy is about finding the true you and following that inner love. After all, at the end of the day, being healthy is not just for the elite; it’s for everyone.

Bay Times: Please share a bit about your background, and how that might have led to your present work.

Lacey Helene: I am a self-taught cook who enjoy s push i ng t he boundaries of the expected and someone who truly believes food should always taste delicious. I received my Bachelors of Science in Nutrition and Food Sciences from CSU Chico, where I learned what the power of good nutrition can do for your life. These two paths intertwined to create the vision for Café Crush. As a nutritionist, my goal is to help everyone eat more veggies and fruits. As a cook, I want people to simply enjoy their food. My desire is to put an end to the self-inflicted torture of fad yo-yo cleanses. It’s time to enjoy our lives and our diets.

Bay Times: So many of us are trying to get into better habits and to live a healthy lifestyle. What is your philosophy on how our diets fit into all of this?

Lacey Helene: I feel more like a 1950’s grandma sometimes than a nutritionist. I’m not hard-core, and know simple life changes work. I believe that you should eat your veggies, play outside in the sunshine, do your best every day to achieve your health goals, and be nice to yourself & others. (Oh, and don’t forget to be polite and to sit up straight!)

There will never be a magic health pill. The true goal is to feel good in your body and my advice is to start small. Simple lifestyle changes start by adding 2 days a week of fun physical activity and to sleep a little bit more. Do the same with your diet. Start small by adding veggies or fruits to every meal (our plate method is a great tool to make small healthy changes). Health is a lifelong journey, not a torture device, and it should be more than a routine.

It should be fun!

One of my favorite things is our Raw Kale Sunflower Hummus. It’s lighter and lower in fat than traditional hummus, but has the same creamy texture and high protein goodness.

I also love that we offer Swiss chard leaves as a “bread” option. They add crunch to your sandwich without all of those calories. Other than that?!

I love our sauces and spreads, made with a twist to be healthier and boldly spiced. They are truly unique.

Bay Times: We hear that Ellen DeGeneres is one of your role models. How has she inspired you?

Lacey Helene: I love Ellen DeGeneres. But who doesn’t? She’s fabulous! I have always admired her ability to carve her own path and that she is not afraid to be herself: a beautiful, quirky and smart woman.

I love Ellen’s ability to inspire joy and strength in the people around her. She shows us all that we have something unique to offer the world, that we should be exactly who we are and never settle for who the world thinks we should be. The strength she has given to women and to the LGBT community is nothing short of amazing.

Bay Times: Please share anything else that you’d like our readers to know.

Lacy Helene: The habit you can change right now? (No kale required!) It would be to believe in yourself. I truly wish people would be more patient, respectful and kind to themselves. We each have so much to bring to our world. Finding a way to love ourselves more and forgive ourselves more each day is essential to making positive growth happen. Healthy changes happen slowly; keep positive and stick to your goals. Little changes and loving yourself more can change your world in a big way.

Café Crush is located at 3943 Piedmont Avenue, Oakland. Open M-F, 7am–6pm, Sat, 8am-6pm. 510-7884278, www.Cafécrush.org/

Bay Times: Please mention a few of your favorite dishes and drinks being served at Café Crush now.

Lacey Helene: Our lunch combos are unique. Only with us can you pair your sandwich with a whole veggie green smoothie! They are the perfect size too. You’ll feel satisfied and energized; no post meal tiredness or fatigue here. Mixing it up is important for a healthy diet. We add new seasonal dishes and feature different drinks through the year to help you expand your love of veggies. Though, if your find a favorite, or want more options, check out our huge online menu at our website.

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Fine Arts Museums of San Francisco

Artist Spotlight: Lexa Walsh Throughout May, the Fine Arts Museums of San Francisco will be featuring a series of events with artist fellow Lexa Walsh, who is developing a map and archive of remarkable, and sometimes underrepresented, Bay Area art projects, venues and opportunities.

As funding becomes tighter, we are seeing archives reprioritized. Walsh therefore has us thinking about what archives mean, how they are shared, and what are their afterlives.

from smashed boxes to white gloves and acid-free paper to throwing all physical evidence away and relying solely on the digital world. There are archival materials, ephemera, books and research materials to engage with, plus a station to build an archive and a taxonomy station where visitors can play around with and rearrange/ appropriate materials to create story and meaning. Finally, there are some wonderful guest speakers every Saturday talking about these concerns.

This is just May. There will also be a content-rich website, and more activities and events through the end of the year.

Oak land-based Walsh, who has toured internationally, already has her own impressive body of work. She humbly says she came to CA to let her “freak flag fly.” For certain projects, she works with conversation, food and music to create what she calls “hospitable democracy.” Coming out of a family of 15 siblings, she infuses many of her works with social engagement.

Curious about this and more, we recently interviewed Walsh for the Bay Times.

PHOTO COURTESY OF LEX A WAL SH

Bay Times: Where do you go for creative inspiration here in the Bay Area?

Bay Times: Please tell us a bit about your background and what it was like to be in a family of 15 (!) siblings. Do you think having such a large family has inf luenced your work as an artist?

Bay Times: We had fun going through your website, exploring ever yt hing from underwear wedgies to photos abroad with you as a cut-out tourist.

Please provide an overview of your work and what you hope to achieve with it.

Lexa Walsh: That work you mention is pretty old, but it includes some of my favorites. I started out studying ceramic sculpture at CCAC (now the California College of the Arts) with Viola Frey in the late 80s. When I graduated, I no longer had a studio, so I started using found objects, and was interested in them in an archeological way. What were their real, or imagined, histories? This led to working more anthropologically with people, so I could get those answers.

Since 2003, I have been working almost solely with participation and social engagement. Sometimes this involves play, cheer, food, music, conversation ... whatever tool is right for the job—the job being relationship building, silo busting, place making, resource sharing, or institutional critique. I call my practice “hospitable democracy.”

Bay Times: What first brought you to the Bay Area, and are you based here now? How do you think being in the Bay Area inf luences your work?

Lexa Walsh: I moved to Oakland in 1988. In fact, when I came here first in ‘87 to visit, I felt like I was finally home. I transferred from Parsons School of Design in NY, which I felt 6

BAY TIMES MAY 1, 2 0 1 4

PHOTO COURTESY OF LEX A WAL SH

PHOTO BY EL IZA GREGORY

Lexa Walsh: Absolutely! It was so chaotic, yet warm and loving, growing up as the youngest of 15. We worked collaboratively all the time, and we were never really allowed to have personal issues. “Get over it and take one for the team” seemed to be the family motto. A therapist might have a field day with that one. Plus, we grew up Catholic, so service was a top priority. In any case, I am a real extrovert (and a devout agnostic), and can cope in a variety of social situations. It makes sense that I work with people as my medium, in a variety of service-oriented projects.

Sounds Station by Lexa Walsh

was too uptight, to CCAC, where I could let my freak flag fly, so to speak.

I have left a couple of times—working 8 summers at a progressive anarchocollective art center in the Czech Republic and moving to Portland for 3 years of grad school—but I keep coming back. There is huge momentum in social practice (from artists) and public engagement (from institutions) here. It is an open, yet critical, environment for my practice.

Bay Times: Our paper, the San Francisco Bay Times, is the oldest fully LGBT owned and funded paper for the LGBT community here. Maybe you know of it? How might your work connect with LGBT viewers and participants? Have you ever been inspired by anything in LGBT culture?

Lexa Walsh: I do know about the paper. There are a lot of moments in LGBTQ history that are on my timeline in the Kimball gallery—a big component of my project at the de Young.

One way to connect is to discuss and add to the timeline of queer culture contributions to the art scenes, which are, of course, many. I have been very inspired by Act Up, Silence = Death, Lynn Breedlove’s Homobiles project, The Sisters of Perpetual

Tom Marioni’s project in the Berkeley Art Museum archive. Tom Marioni is one of Lexa Walsh’s key case studies.

Indulgence, and other creative, activist projects through the years.

Bay Times: Please describe what projects you have planned for your stay at the Fine Arts Museums of San Francisco.

Lexa Walsh: Well, it’s kind of big.

I am looking at the last 50+ years of Bay Area art and culture, focusing on movements that are specific

to this place, like the prevalence of post-studio practice, the socio-political-economic environment that has invited and nourished it, and how it is being archived. The gallery will have this timeline I mentioned that will grow and morph though the month.

I have been interviewing and visiting with artists, archivists, and cultural workers to build content and to discuss archiving practices, which range

Lexa Walsh: Everywhere. I think it started in West Oakland, where I live and where my found objects came from in the early 90’s. I have watched the Bay Area grow so much. When I moved here, there were a few mainstream galleries and a few artist-run spaces. Now, I feel like there is an artist for every space and a space for every artist. In the 90s we were really able to build our own scenes to accommodate our needs. This is, of course, at great risk right now. The future does not look bright for any of us unless the city does some serious regulating to protect art spaces and artists’ housing. However, at the same time, major institutions are adding really interesting programming (always through the Education and Public Programs departments, by the way). What would happen with that programming if there were no artists left to fill it?

Bay Times: Who are some of your mentors and favorite artists?

Lexa Walsh: Well, San Francisco artist/curator Margaret Tedesco was a mentor early in my career and she also happens to be a serious archivist. Ted Purves has been a wonderful help with this project and knows of every socially engaged project that has ever happened around here. He is generously lending some of his archive to the project. New York artist Nina Katchadourian taught me that it’s OK to have a truly interdisciplinary practice. There are too many to mention. Lets just say there are a lot of really smart, interesting artists out there, all over the world.

Bay Times: Plans for the future?

Lexa Walsh: In the fall I’m continuing with an archiving project for Oakland Museum of California’s Days of the Dead 20 year anniversary show. Oakland Museum is my official community partner in this fellowship, so it will be great to link this practice to their work and space. I have many other pots in the fire, but I can see the archiving project as just a beginning of something far deeper.

You can k eep abrea st of some p a s t a n d c u r re n t p r o j e c t s a t l e x a w a l s h . t u m b l r. c o m M e a n while, please come visit me at the de Young to participate.

For more infor mation about Wal sh’s work and h e r FA MSF events in May, please visit deyoung.famsf.org/education/lexawalsh

LGBT Aging Policy Task Force Update: A Call to Action * Facilitate access to services and pr o g r a m s by c r e at i n g a s i n g le place for referra l and assistance to ava i l able soc ia l ser v ice pro grams and health services

and for mer Super v isor Ch ist ina Olague for creating the task force and urge t he Board of Super v isors to i mplement a l l t ask force recommendations.

* Develop and implement an LGBT senior case management program

Dr. Marcy Adelman, a clinical psychologist in private practice, is co-founder of the non-prof it organization Openhouse and a me mber of the S an F ranc i sco LGBT Aging Policy Task Force.

* Develop and implement new mental health peer counseling services

Aging in Community Dr. Marcy Adelman The LGBT Aging Policy Task Force final report is a call to action with feasible and well-studied recommendations to improve the lives of LGBT older adults and seniors. Over the last decade, Openhouse has made much progress in serving LGBT seniors and, with City assistance, developing low-income senior housing at 55 Laguna, but there is still much work to be done. Presently, there are 20,000 LGBT seniors in San Francisco, and that number is expected to double over the next two decades. The City needs to grow and expand the network of LGBT senior services, resources and LGBT welcoming senior housing to meet the urgent needs of LGBT seniors, and for future generations to come.

On April 17, 2014, the Board of Supervisors Neighborhood and Safety Committee formally accepted the final report of the LGBT Aging Policy Task Force. In late May of this year, Supervisors Scott Wiener and David Campos will begin introducing legislation from the report. The report, “LGBT Aging at the Golden Gate: San Francisco Policy Issues and Recommendations,” can be downloaded sf-hrc.org/sites/sf-hrc.org/f i les/ L G B TA P T F_ F i n a l R e p o r t _ F I NA LW M A FINA L .pdf T he L GB T A g i n g Pol ic y Ta s k Force was created in 2012. Its last, and f inal, meeting was in March 2014. The task force was charged w it h s t u d y i n g i s s ue s a f fe c t i n g LGBT seniors and to make policy and program recommendations to the Board of Supervisors. Fifteen diverse community members, appoi nted by t he Boa rd of Supervisor’s Rules Committee, studied t he issues; a na ly zed t he l i m ited ex ist i ng cit y dat a on L GBT seniors; commissioned and administrated research projects, includi ng a g roundbrea k ing sur vey of S a n F r a n c i s c o ’s L G B T o l d e r adults; held public hearings; conducted i nter v iews w it h com munity groups and city of f icials; and reviewed national best practices.

The City provided administrative support and assistance from several key city departments.

* Develop LGBT targeted f inancial literacy services

LGBT Resources for Seniors

* Increase housing security and affordability by improving eviction prevention protections and increasing restrictions on evictions

• Openhouse: 415-296-8995 openhouse-sf.org/ • Family Caregiver Alliance: 415-434-3388 www.caregiver.org

* C r e a t e mor e c om mu n it y r e sou rces to a ssi st access to, a nd availability of, af fordable housing

• Institute on Aging: 415-7504111, www.ioaging.org/

* I mprove cond it ion s i n apa r tments and SROs

• National Resource Center on LGBT Aging www.lgbtagingcenter.org/

* Make city shelters more welcoming to LGBT seniors by providing L GBT t a rgeted shelter ser v ices and cultural competency training at existing shelters

• Project Open Hand San Francisco: Nutrition Services, 415-447-2300 www.openhand.org/

* Promote LGBT life planning legal clinics and develop life plann i ng resou rces a nd tools to a id LGBT seniors

• SAGE: 212-741-2247 www.sageusa.org/about/ • Shanti Project, Inc: HIV Services and Life Threatening Illnesses, 415-674-4700 www.shanti.org/

* Improve lega l protect ions and r e s ou r c e s for L GB T s en ior s i n long-term care facilities by passi n g a c it y or d i n a nce to en su re appropr iate ca re a nd t reat ment i n long-ter m ca re faci l it ies a nd requ ire such faci l it ies to have a dedicated LGBT liaison on their staf fs

Alzheimer’s Association Programs and Services: • 24/7 Helpline: 1-800-2723900, www.alz.org/norcal/; Online Community: www. alzheimersblog.org/lgbt-forum • Memory Clinic, Kaiser Permanente Santa Clara Medical Center: 408-530-6900, mydoctor.kaiserpermanente. org/ncal/facilities/region/ santaclara/area_master/ departments/memoryclinic/ index.jsp

• Improve understand ing of service needs of LGBT older adults and seniors by City collection of data on gender identity and sexual orientation whenever voluntary demographic data is collected Most of us will want to stay in our homes and in our communities for as long as possible and to enjoy a quality of life that allows us to live healthy, vital lives. When we move to senior housing and senior facilities, such as assisted or dementia care living, our lives and our h istor ies must be respected and honored. The task force recom mend at ion s w i l l ex pa nd t he existing network of programs and services to make all that possible.

The Bay Times congratulates Openhouse on the success of its “10th Annual Spring Fling!”

We a re g r atef u l to Super v i sor s S c o t t W i e n e r, D a v i d C a m p o s

We savored Budapest, Paris, Prague, and coming home to The Sequoias.

T he t a sk force repor t ident i f ies problem areas in need of urgent and immed iate act ion, and pro v ides recom mendat ions for new pol ic y a nd prog r a m s. From i ncrea sed L GBT cu lt u r a l competenc y t ra in ing to creat ing more secure a nd a f fordable sen ior housing, the report is a road map for ensur ing t hat LGBT sen iors w i l l have access to needed care and welcoming services.

Below is the list of task force recommendations:

* I mpr ove L GB T c om mu n it y ’s awareness of A lzheimer’s/dement ia issues by creat ing an educational and awareness campaign * Develop A lzheimer’s dement ia resource tools, and expand LGBT t a rgeted dement ia ca reg iv i ng support groups

P H OTO S B Y RI N K

* Improve inclusiv it y and safet y for LGBT elders in ma inst rea m senior ser v ices by expanding existing LGBT cultural competency training

Openhouse co-founder Dr. Marcy Adelman with event honoree Pam David (above) and Senator Mark Leno with honoree Judge Vaughn Walker at the 10th Annual Spring Fling! held on Sunday, April 27. See more Sprig Fling! photos on Page 10

Wouldn’t it be comforting to travel to exotic places knowing that someone’s taking care of your home? Morris Bol and Lewis Crickard do this all the time. They live at The Sequoias, where they enjoy the people, the gardens and the food, which is so good, they rarely cook. They also love the location, which is close to everything San Francisco has to offer. Does this sound like your kind of place? Call Candiece at (415) 351-7900 to learn more.

A Life Care Community 415.922.9700 | sequoias-sf.org 1400 Geary Boulevard

This not-for-profit community is part of Northern California Presbyterian Homes and Services. License# 380500593 COA# 097

BAY T IM ES M AY 1, 2014 Job # / Name: NCPHS-319 SSF Bay Times Morris/Lewis Ad ME02

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Issue date: May 2014

Due at pub: 04/24/14

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Real Estate and Design

What’s Happening

Real Estate Mark Penn As I was looking for some possible topics to discuss this month, I came across a collection of ideas posted on the website for the California Association of REALTORS® (CAR). Collectively, they provide an overview of what’s happening now in the real estate market: Lending- One of the biggest bellwethers is what’s happening in the lending industry. Mortgage lending and the availability of money are two of the heaviest determinators of real estate sales. A reason the housing market had such a rough go of it coming out of the downturn was because most lenders’ guidelines retreated faster than a scared turtle into its shell. Recently, however, the Wall Street Journal reported that lending rules and restrictions have relaxed considerably, allowing more purchase money to f low into the constricted market.

Equity Sales and Distressed Property Sales- Distressed home sales in California have been steadily falling. These are properties that are either “underwater” (the owner

owes more on the property than it is worth) or where the mortgage is seriously delinquent. For example, short sales—i.e., the actual sale of underwater properties—have reached their lowest levels since 2008, by many accounts. 2008 is the year in which things were really headed south. On the other side of this coin, “equity sales,” or sales in which the property is the opposite of underwater, have been steadily rising, reaching 87.6% in March, up from 85% in February.

Pending Home Sales- In California, pending home sales rose to their highest level in eight months, climbing 17.8%.

Renta l A f fordabilit y Cr isisShaun Donovan, Secretary of the United States Department of Housing and Urban Development, recently commented on the financial issues in today’s national rental market. “This is the worst rental affordability crisis this country has ever known,” he said. He praised a US Senate initiative on housing finance reform making its way through Congress, which includes support for affordability, and availability for the rental housing market as well.

Moving Back With Mom and Dad- From a quirkier story in the Los Angeles Times, I read that, in recent years, older people aged 50-64 have moved back in with their parents (yes, you read that correctly!) at twice the rate of their younger counterparts.

A UCLA researcher says that this is

almost exclusively due to financial hardship as opposed to any other reason. I’m not quite sure what to make of that one.

Rising SF Home Prices- For you data hounds, a quick look at recent statistics (February, 2014) provided

by CAR reveals a 4.4% drop in yearto-date home sales, but a 14.9% increase over the previous year. San Francisco’s median home price was $964,670, a 28.6% increase over the previous year, but a whopping 238% higher than the statewide median.

March-ing Upward- Nationally, March home sales were only up 0.4% over February, but the median sales price was up 10% over the previous year. It was the 24th consecutive month in which home prices showed an annual increase.

And one final tidbit for this month: New housing starts have long been an indicator of the state of the economy.

Nationally, this stat has been down considerably (14.5%) during the past few months, across the country. New home building permits in California in February numbered 2307. In San Francisco: One. See you next month.

A Bay Area native, Mark Penn has been a REALTOR® with Coldwell Banker since 2004. He is also active in animal welfare, and is a former educator, facilitator, and air traffic controller. Mark can be reached at mark@MyHomeInSonoma.com.

Vicious Cycle: Here Comes the Neighborhood Nice areas demand higher prices and fiscally conservative people can afford more house.

Real Estate America Foy From the Harvard Review, July 26, 2012: The addition of one same-sex couple for every 1,000 households is associated with a 1% increase in home prices in US neighborhoods that are socially liberal, but a 1% drop in neighborhoods that are extremely conservative, say David Christafore of Konkuk University in South Korea and Susane Leguizamon of Tulane University.

Their study of more than 20,000 real estate transactions in Ohio in 2000 supports previous findings that migration of same-sex couples to an area increases home values, in part because these residents tend to develop or enhance cultural amenities. But the new research suggests that in socially conservative areas, housing prices reflect prejudice against gays.

Huh? Who would’ve thought we had so much impact on an area’s value.

Here we are, minding our own damn business, moving into neighborhoods with other like-minded people, creating community and boom! Things start going sideways because, imagine if you will for a moment, fiscally conservative (read politically conservative) people like to live in nice neighborhoods too.

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BAY TIMES MAY 1, 2 0 1 4

Unfortunately, conservative folks don’t particularly care for us moving into their neighborhoods. “Honey, is that the stench of liberal I smell wafting over from those two ladies and their children who just moved next door?

Perhaps we should think about moving farther out.”

Think it doesn’t happen? Look at the Castro, originally a nice established Italian Catholic neighborhood. Where did all the Italian Catholics go? They moved to Silver Terrace and the Excelsior as more liberal people moved in.

This depressed the prices in the Castro, which made things affordable for other like-minded people to move into the neighborhood.

Over the years, the Castro has become very nice and very expensive. Here comes the neighborhood. Remember what history teaches: Those that forget are doomed to repeat.

It’s the boomerang effect. Liberals move into a depressed conservative neighborhood, create community and celebrate culture. Hip fiscal conservatives, attracted by the safety, amenities, and low prices, move in and further gentrify the area. Chaos ensues. Liberals are priced out of the neighborhood and go look for other like-minded people in affordable areas as more conservative people move in. And so on, ad infinitum, goes the vicious cycle of gentrification.

Whoa, let me back up.

This is supposed to be some light traipse through mediocrity where we

quietly suggest you use us to sell your house in San Francisco and move to the promised land of the East Bay. Lacking the ability to force common sense on those that choose not to take advantage of the wonderful opportunities available in real estate these days, this tiny opinion piece must suffice. The law of diminishing returns, loosely interpreted by the author, states that adding more of a good thing to a good thing does not necessarily keep increasing the goodness.

San Francisco is getting to the apex of gentrification. This is almost as good as the City is going to get, and that causes a number of questions to leap to mind.

Are you happy living where you live?

Do you feel like the cost of living is affecting your lifestyle? Do you like your neighbors? Do you know you have options about where you want to live? Do you feel like you’re the one dropping the value 1% in your neighborhood?

Then let us sell your house in San Francisco so you can move to the promised land of the East Bay, where you can be the reason property values are increasing 1% when you move into the neighborhood. We love to talk real estate and community. Contact us for a conversation.

America Foy and Taylor Sublett are top producing real estate agents with Sotheby’s International Realty in Berkeley. Call or email them if you want to buy or sell residential, commercial, or investment properties throughout the Bay Area. Bay Area natives, and recent East Bay residents, Taylor and America will help you sell in Alameda, Contra Costa, San Francisco, San Mateo and Marin Counties.

America Foy: 510-473-7775, america.foy@ sothebysrealty.com; Taylor Sublett: 510-3019569, taylor.sublett@sothebysrealty.com

Real Estate and Design Five Design Trends for Today and Tomorrow

Project Remodel Jim Tibbs An important part of my job as a designer is to spot emerging trends in the marketplace and to help my clients decide if these trends are right for their homes. The tricky part of the process is differentiating the trends that have lasting power from the fads that will become quickly dated.

These are some of the emerging trends that I predict will stand the test of time:

Top Brass: Brass is another decorative finish that has been absent from the design scene for many decades.

The brass finish that is trend-right today is not the polished brass of the 1970’s, but instead is a mellow, burnished brass that brings a warm accent to your living space. The brass trend is making its mark in light fixtures as well as cabinet hardware of all types.

Two -tone K itchens: A not her trend that has quickly taken hold is the use of multiple cabinet finishes or colors in the same kitchen. The most common interpretation of this trend is to differentiate the color of the wall

PHOTOS COURTESY OF J IM T IBBS

Nifty Shades of Gray: After a twenty-year hiatus, the color gray has made a major comeback in a variety of categories. As a wall color, gray looks great in a wide range of options from pearl to charcoal, especially with crisp white trim to set it off. I am also seeing some beautiful interpretations of gray-tone stains on kitchen cabinets as well as wood flooring. cabinets from the island or peninsula cabinets. Another variation of this trend is to use base cabinets in a darker color to help ground the space, with the upper cabinets in a lighter color to create a feeling of openness at eye level.

and countertops are among the most common places in your home to interpret this trend. If you are a do-ityourselfer, there are some really cool projects that will enhance your home and allow you to express your DIY creativity.

R and R: One of the best ways to preserve the environment and add a lot of character to your home is to repurpose and reinvent fixtures and furniture for your newly remodeled space. Light fixtures, bathroom vanities, sink cabinets, kitchen islands

Industrial Chic: People of all ages have really embraced the industrial look of early twentieth century factories for their homes. Even in the suburbs, homeowners are converting to loft floor plans with exposed beams and industrial hardware and light fixtures. The prevalent use of the Edison light bulb (clear bulb with a visible filament) is an example of a vintage, industrial look that has really caught on. The industrial trend is important, not so much because it is emerging, but because it is one of the most influential trends in home design today.

Incorporating any of these five trends into your home will update and modernize your living space for today, while keeping it relevant for years to come.

Jim Tibbs is the creative director of HDR Remodeling. If you would like to learn more, please read his blog at http://hdrremodeling. wordpress.com or follow him on Twitter @ HDRremodeling1.

BAY   T IM ES M AY 1, 2014

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Don’t Take It Personally He sighs loudly and shifts his weight from one foot to another to signal his displeasure. He and another man in line make sarcastic comments to each other about the clerk, and he hopes she overhears them.

Kim Corsaro Publisher 1981-2011

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The Bay Times is proud to be the only 100% LGBT funded and owned newspaper for the LGBT community in San Francisco.

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Kit Kennedy Poet-In-Residence

Tom Moon, MFT Henry maneuvers his shopping cart into the shortest checkout line in the market. He’s tired and hungry after a long day’s work, and in a hurry to get home and make dinner for his partner. Unfortunately, his line turns out to be the slowest. The checkout clerk is as slow as molasses. She can’t seem to remember the price of anything; she constantly makes mistakes on the register; and she’s completely unfocused on what she’s doing.

Hen r y ’s r i ght eou s i nd i g n at ion mounts as the minutes tick by. How can this big supermarket chain be so contemptuous of its customers as to hire such brain dead employees?

Another store employee arrives to bag groceries and asks the clerk, “Are you doing okay?” She replies, “I’m all right. I’ve only got one more hour, and then I can go to the hospital and see him.” Their conversation makes it clear that she’s referring to her husband, who is in the final stages of terminal cancer.

Henry awakens as if from a trance.

His first reaction is shame at his selfpreoccupation, and then he feels a wave of compassion for the clerk who has to work at a market full of impatient customers while her husband lies gravely ill in a hospital bed. His impatience gone, he quietly waits his turn.

When he arrives at the front of the line, he searches for something comforting to say to her, but he’s afraid of embarrassing her, so he just makes eye contact and offers her the warmest smile he can. As he carries his groceries out of the store, he looks around at the other customers, and realizes how rarely he ever gives a thought to what’s going on in the lives of all

the strangers he passes as he rushes through his day.

Most of us can recall some incident like this from our own lives. Personalizing what happens around us is a universally built-in bias in our brains.

That’s why we can’t too often remember the humbling, but strangely freeing, truth that most of the time we are bit players in other people’s dramas (if even that), and most of what goes on around us isn’t about us at all.

But we have powerful conditioning, which drives us to forget this truth.

Just as most of us have an “inner critic” that harshly critiques our own behavior, we also have an “inner prosecutor,” which builds “cases” against others. The prosecutor creates stories about how others have intentionally targeted us in order to ruin our day and make us miserable.

The more this part of ourselves convinces us to be hyper vigilant for violations of our “rights,” the more we live in an inner prison of fantasies of victimization. That isn’t to say that it isn’t important to see other people realistically, or that there is no place for moral judgment. But case-making is a form of obsessive thinking that only makes us feel worse. When we

do it, we increase our likelihood of over-reacting and complicating the problem.

There are some steps anyone can take to overcome the natural bias toward taking things personally. The first is just to notice the way you feel when you’re doing it, and then do your best to relax the sense of being personally targeted. Pay attention to how your mood lifts when you question your personalizing instead of just letting it run automatically.

It also helps to remember that, while we may be wired for personalizing, we’re also wired for compassion, and we can intentionally feed and strengthen this capacity. If, for instance, you deliberately direct your attention to sensing the ways in which the other person is suffering, you’ll probably find that they start to move from the “them” to the “us” category.

Your compassion won’t let them off the hook or weaken you, but it will make you feel better. The more we teach ourselves to take life less personally, the easier time we have living in a relaxed and peaceful state.

Tom Moon is a psychotherapist in San Francisco. For more information, please visit tommoon.net

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BAY TIMES M AY 1 , 2 0 1 4

Round About — 10th Annual Spring Fling!

Photos by Rink

More than 500 supporters gathered in the Veranda Ballroom at The Four Seasons Hotel, San Francisco, on Sunday, April 27, for the 10th Annual Spring Fling! benef it for Openhouse. Honorees included Hass Foundation executive Pam David, who received the Adelman/Gurevitch Founders Award presented by Marcy Adelman, and Judge Vaughn Walker, who received the Trailblazer Award presented by Senator Mark Leno. Recipients of the Eva Lily Volunteer Service Award were Chris Torno and John Wherry. Event co-chairs Nanette Lee Miller and Sonni Zambino, as well as master of ceremonies Michael Tate, welcomed guests. Speakers included board president Cynthia Martin and executive director Seth Kilbourn. Entertainment featured songs by Jason Brock. The luncheon was preceded by a champagne reception and Silent Auction. Participants enjoyed an After Party at the Four Seasons MKT Bar.

Fortnight in Review

By Ann Rostow Hmmmm. What Shall We Talk About?

I think there are only three states left in the country that are not embroiled in a federal marriage suit, not counting the 17 states that already celebrate marriage equality, of course. Many states are enjoying multiple lawsuits.

And I’m not even counting the state lawsuits here and there, like the one in Texas where a local judge recently slammed the state’s anti-marriage law in the case of divorcing lesbians in San Antonio.

The latest twist comes out of North Carolina, where a bunch of clergy and same-sex couples are attacking a state statute that basically bans ministers from performing weddings for couples without a marriage license. The lawsuit also targets the North Carolina anti-marriage amendment, but it has been drawing headlines for its claim that the Tobacco State is trampling on religious freedom.

Without delving into the aforementioned statute, I’m guessing that the language in the state code was originally meant to prevent straight people from running to the altar without bothering with the bureaucracy of actually getting a license and so forth.

Strangely, the law seems to put the burden on the minister, by instituting a fine, forcing a minister to check the paperwork before he or she ties the ritual knot. (Ironically, the law serves to emphasize again, that marriage is a civil status, regardless of how sacred the religious side of it might be seen by the participants.)

At any rate, since gay couples can’t get a license to wed in North Carolina, the church plaintiffs are insisting that their right to perform a religious ceremony of marriage is unconstitutionally subjected to criminal penalties.

Hey, they have a point! This ought to be interesting.

Off the top of my head, I can tell you that we have a new lawsuit in Georgia, and a full-throated suit for equality in Ohio. We’ve already won a marriage recognition case in the Buckeye State, but this latest one is for all the marbles.

In significant related news, the US. Court of Appeals for the Sixth Circuit has refused to consolidate the appeals of marriage cases out of Ohio, Michigan, Kentucky and Tennessee. Michigan’s attorney general had asked the entire court to go straight to an “en banc” review of marriage equality, but apparently not one judge agreed.

The four cases will instead be heard by three-judge appellate panel, as is the norm.

Keep an eye on Indiana, where arguments will be heard May 2 on whether to skip a factual trial on marriage equality and proceed to summary judgment. In the history of marriage litigation, we’ve only had three trials on the subject, mainly because the conf lict is arguably a matter of law, not facts. Nonetheless, we had a trial in Hawaii in the late 1990s. We had the Prop 8 trial. And we just finished a trial in Michigan the other day. (We won them all. Yay!) I’m guessing that Indiana will skip a trial, given that the same judge recently issued a temporary restraining order against the Basketball State in favor of a lesbian couple.

Let’s see. A federal judge in Oregon just heard arguments the other day.

Since no state authority is defending the ban on marriage in Beaverland, the National Organization for Marriage popped up at the very last minute to demand a seat at the table.

NOM’s attempt to intervene will be discussed at a hearing May 14. Meanwhile, the activists at Basic Rights Oregon say they will abandon plans to force a statewide referendum on marriage if the judge rules in our favor

by May 23. If that deadline passes, I’m assuming we will see a popular vote to legalize marriage this November. And I’m assuming we’ll win.

Next up in the news: arguments on the Virginia marriage law before the US. Court of Appeals for the Fourth Circuit in mid-May. Criminal Minds Are my columns becoming tedious, Dear Readers? But what choice do I have? Back in the day, before hearing dates and appellate schedules overwhelmed this humble exercise, I had the space to discuss the wacky British lesbian who kidnapped her ex at knifepoint and took her on a harrowing ride down the M5. And the one who tried to poison her ex with sleeping pills and had to call emergency medical services. And the one who broke into her ex’s house and cut up her underwear. And the American woman who murdered her ex and left the body parts in boxes in the garage (carefully marked with her own name) to be discovered years later by her son-in-law.

Oh, I forget the details. But I do remember a time when gay news was colorful. And it wasn’t just the lesbians. Don’t forget all those gay male cannibals!

I have to assume that our community psychopaths are still out there. But maybe the news radar is so high these days that they’re not getting the kind of coverage that would attract our attention.

I just Googled “gay and lesbian psychopaths,” and found a list of six clues that suggest you’re dating a psychopath. If these clues seem familiar, the advice columnist suggests you “walk away” from the relationship. I have to say, that could be a problem, right? It’s the exes that get targeted for deranged shenanigans.

In a related note, here’s something I don’t like to see in an advice column.

The other day, someone wrote Dear Abby to make a point about kind gestures. This writer, we were informed, went out of her way to help someone.

I forget what she did, even though she included every detail of her considerate gesture. She then told the recipient to pass along the goodness.

Her point to Abby was that self-sacrificing favors were their own reward and helped make the world a better place. Surely there was no reason for this woman to send this account off for publication other than to pat herself on the back. I can’t believe Abby played into this egomaniac, and I was officially annoyed.

The other advice column letters that I hate are the pompous notes from officials asking Abby to remind everyone to check their smoke alarms or stop texting while driving or watch out for phone scammers. We read Abby and her ilk for stories about obnoxious family members and scandalous affairs, not for boring civic reminders.

The Emperor’s New Faith So, here’s a question. Do you think there’s a comparison to be made between Donald Sterling and Brendon Eich? Sterling, as you know, is the owner of the Clippers who was barred for life from the NBA after he was heard disparaging black men in a taped conversation with his girlfriend.

Eich is the former CEO of Mozilla, who lost his job when it became known that he donated $1,000 to Prop 8. After Eich was drummed out of his job, the GLBT community began an important debate on how we should treat those who oppose marriage equality.

Should we treat them as decent people with whom we disagree, or should we call them out in no uncertain terms?

That debate is still going on.

It’s a given that Sterling is “worse” than Eich. Sterling has a history of

Professional Services racism, and his taped conversation revealed what we might call “pure” racism. Eich had no history of homophobia, and if Eich had been caught on tape denouncing gay men and women, I imagine no one would have suggested he stay on the job.

That said, Eich wasn’t banned for life from the tech industry. He had just gotten the CEO job and in the uproar over his opposition to marriage equality he was deemed a liability. What we seem to be asking ourselves is this: can there ever be a benign reason for someone to support traditional marriage? Was the uproar over Eich unfair, or misplaced? (Significantly, the uproar did not come from gay organizations, but from individuals.)

The answer often seems to rest on faith. Don’t we, as Americans, respect people whose faiths lead them to conclusions that we don’t share? In general, the answer is yes. But there must be a limit to this. Faith doesn’t justify racism. Why should faith be allowed to justify hostility towards gay men and women? Why do we allow religious exclusions to civil rights bills and policies? Because of Leviticus?

The people who insist faith commands opposition to gay rights are using the Faith Card as a stand in for tradition, for how they were raised, for their unconscious attitudes, for their instinctive dislike of homosexuality.

And these are the same reasons that lead others to, let’s say, give a thousand dollars to Prop 8. There’s no call to be churlish in our reaction to our opponents. But there’s no reason to let their actions (and make no mistake, Brendon Eich took action) go unchallenged.

Just because Sterling is a hundred times worse than Eich doesn’t mean that both men are not guilty of the same crime. Sterling robbed a bank of a million dollars while Eich shoplifted a set of cufflinks. Still, there’s a connection.

Resting Places Here’s a nasty story out of Idaho. A 74-year-old Navy veteran, Madelynn Taylor, lost her wife, Jean Mixner, in 2012. After Mixner’s death, Taylor went to the state veterans’ cemetery to arrange for the two of them to be buried together when the time comes.

Mixner was cremated, and Taylor also plans to be cremated, so it’s not as if the women will take up much space.

But, as you might have guessed by the adjective “nasty,” the Spud State authorities said no. Because this is a state facility, the cemetery poobahs refused to recognize Taylor and Mixner’s 2008 California marriage.

You know, there are dozens of antigay news stories in any given week, but this one really takes your breath away.

Taylor, who is keeping Mixner’s ashes in a closet for now, has lived in Idaho for a long time and has family in the state. “I just feel like it’s the right place for me,” she told the press. “You know, I’m a veteran. But I don’t want to be alone. I want Jean with me.”

Governor Butch Otter, in turn, noted in a statement that “Idaho’s Constitution does not recognize same-sex marriage. The voters spoke in 2006 by passing an amendment to our Constitution def ining marriage as between a man and a woman.” Give us a gay break, Butch. I wonder if this is really what the voters of Idaho hoped to achieve when they pulled the levers, or poked the chads, back in 2006. And when people speculate on why our movement has made so much progress, it’s because of people like Madelynn Taylor and Jean Mixner.

By the way, not only does Idaho have a federal lawsuit underway, but it is part of the Ninth Circuit, where a marriage case is still pending and where we are still waiting to hear (continued on page 26)

Read more @www.sfbaytimes.com and check us out on Twitter and Facebook.

BAY T IM ES M AY 1, 2014

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Round About – REAF’s Big Gay Comedy Show Photos by Steven Underhill

The Marines’ Memorial Theater welcomed supporters of the Richmond / Ermet AIDS Foundation (REAF) for a rollicking good evening featuring a star-studded lineup of very funny guys and gals: Marga Gomez, Bruce Vilanch, Shann Carr, Shawn Ryan, Ali Mafi, Cassandra Cass, Leanne Borghesi, Jason Brock, Kitty Tapata and more.

See more

Stories @sfbaytimes.com Twitter, and find us Facebook.

and follow us on on

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BAY TIMES M AY 1 , 2 0 1 4

Round About — All Over Town — Photos by Rink

Shanti’s Kaushik Roy (left) welcomed guests - including AIDS Memorial Grove’s John Cunningam and his partner Joel Stevens, and Dan Bernal, aide to Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi - to The City Club for the “Double Down for Shanti” benefitting the organization’s breast cancer program.

Yvonne Cheng and Cecilia Hernandez offered SF Giants-themed donuts by Sara Spearin Dynamo Donuts at Project Open Hand’s annual Dessert First reception held at the Four Seasons Hotel.

Interns Shaneen Black and Victoria Trang greeted arriving guests at LYRIC’s LYRIC’s 25th Anniversary Party included a 25th Anniversary Party..

State Proclamation from Senator Mark Leno presented to executive director Jodi Schwartz (left) by Leno aide Anna Damiani.

The event included tours, displays, music, poetry and a buffet.

Champagne was served by Barefoot Bubbly’s spectacular aerialist Nina at Dessert First.

Samantha, Karen and Lisa, wearing Harvey Milk t-shirts, greeted guests and sold raffle tickets at the Harvey Milk Academy Spring Carnival. They were reading the Bay Times on the table!

Supervisor David Campos, EQCA’s endorsed candidate for State Assembly, spoke at the organization’s annual dinner held at the Palace Hotel. Honorees included Dennis Herrera and Barbara Garcia.

Entertainer Frenchie Davis performed as attendees danced. Former supervisors Bevan Dufty and Leslie Katz, EQCA’s Tom O’Conner and GLSEN’s Carolyn Laub were among the familiar faces.

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Use the News Education Program LGBT Postage Stamps On May 22, the US Postal Service will issue a stamp honoring Harvey Milk, the first openly gay individual to be elected to public office in California (see page 1). It is arguably the gayest American postage stamp ever, given the selection of Milk and the stamp’s unmistakable rainbow colors. Many of us at the Bay Times were stamp collectors as kids, and never would have imagined that such an out and proud LGBT representation on a US stamp would be possible. But that day has come, and at a time when we

are still fighting for marriage equality and other rights nationwide.

To celebrate the new stamp, we dug into our collections and did some searching to f ind ot her LGBTthemed stamps from here and around the world that, in one or more ways, are connected to our community. As you can see, we found a lot, and we know many of you could add even more. They represent, however, just a small percentage of all other issued stamps, so we look forward to additional LGBT leaders and subjects to be honored on stamps in future.

US Postal Service Statement on the Issuing of the Harvey Milk Stamp The US. Postal Service® is proud to honor the life of Harvey Milk, a visionary leader who became an iconic f igure in the struggle for gay civil rights. In 1977, Milk was elected to the San Francisco Board of Supervisors, making him one of the first openly gay elected off icials in the United States. His career was tragi14

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cally cut short nearly a year after he took office, when he and San Francisco Mayor George Moscone were assassinated.

The stamp art centers on a photo of Milk taken in front of his camera store in San Francisco. The colors of the gay pride flag appear in a vertical strip in the top left corner.

A commitment to serving a broad constituency, not just gay people, helped make Milk an effective and popular leader. He was an eloquent speaker with a winning sense of humor and was able to build coalitions between diverse groups. His achievements gave hope and confidence to gay people at a time when the com-

munity was encountering widespread hostility.

officials in America. In 2009, Presi-

Milk believed that government should represent all citizens, insuring equality and providing needed services.

awarded Milk the Medal of Freedom.

In the years since his death, there have been hundreds of openly lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender public

dent Barack Obama posthumously

Photographer Daniel Nicoletta took the photograph used in the stamp art, which was designed by art director Antonio Alcalá.

Use the News Education Program

Harvey Milk Foundation Statement Following the announcement that the United States Postal Service first-dayof-issue dedication ceremony of the Harvey Milk Forever Stamp will take place at the White House on May 22, Harvey Milk’s nephew and co-founder of the Harvey Milk Foundation Stuart Milk released the following statement: “A st a mp ded icat ion ceremony on May 22 at the White House comes with incredibly special significance for both place and date. President Obama and his administration have provided the nation with steadfast and trend setting leadership in support of the lesbian, gay, bisexual, and

transgender community in the US and abroad. May 22, Harvey Milk Day, is celebrated annually on my uncle’s birthday as an official California State holiday and is recognized in communities around the world as a day for all minority groups to collaborate on the vigilance needed to achieve fully inclusive human rights for everyone, everywhere.»

“The entire Milk family joins me in thanking President Obama and the longtime allies and champions of LGBT inclusive diversity as exemplified by Democratic leader Nancy Pelosi, all of the LGBT leaders who have stood on uncle Harvey›s shoul-

ders to run for and serve openly in public off ice, and each and every LGBT individual who go about their daily life with authenticity, refusing to hide who they are and who they love.

Together, all of us, continue to move humanity forward, bending that arc of the moral universe ever closer to justice.»

“As letters and postcards are sent across the nation and around the globe, they can now bear the face of a man, my uncle, who gave his life in the struggle for human rights to ensure equality for every minority group and marginalized community. The Harvey Milk Forever Stamp, which

further memorializes Harvey›s legacy of hope, is a gift to help us all remember where we’ve been and the work we still need to do.”

“Uncle Harvey, a pioneering spirit of the 20th century, is in my life and in my heart every day. Through my work with the Harvey Milk Foundation, I’ve seen the power of his courage and the example of his voice, which was brutally silenced by hate, continue to touch lives and inspire hope. It’s an extraordinary power that uniquely transcends national borders and languages.”

In addition to the official first day issuance ceremony at the White House, the Harvey Milk Foundation is working with the USPS on a special public dedication event to be scheduled at the end of May in San Francisco.

Other recognition events and details will be made available once they have been confirmed.

This stamp came to fruition due to over whelming support from the American public. The Harvey Milk Foundation thanks its partners, the Victory Fund, the Task Force and the visionary leadership of the International Court System.

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Windy City Times publisher Tracy Baim and Jean “Dee” Albright are celebrating 20 years together. Best wishes to you both from the San Francisco Bay Times!

TR AVELERSTODAY.COM

Editor’s Note: Welcome to our Weddings, Anniversaries & Occasions section. Inquire how your social announcement can appear free of charge, or how your wedding services ad can be included at a special rate: Publisher@sfbaytimes.com or 415-601-2113.

Oscar winning actress Jodi Foster and girlfriend Alexandra Hedison, photographer and former actress best known for her role on “The L Word,” were married in a “secret ceremony.”

“Ding dong the bells are gonna chime!” said Billie Parker (right), who is celebrating here with Gay Block that they have just obtained their Marriage License.

On Saturday, April 26, at the Imperial Palace, Empress Donna Sachet and Emperor Drew Cutler celebrated a dual-birthday with Senator Mark Leno.

Bay Times co-publishers Betty Sullivan and Jen Viegas celebrated Betty’s birthday at the Openhouse Spring Fling! Jen surprised Betty with a collection of memorabilia, including an official program from the SF Giants v NY Yankees World Series in 1962.

Catering maven Gloria Swanson created a birthday cake.

No Such Thing As a Perfect Mate I don’t ask couples why they’re getting married. Should it matter to me as their officiant? Some tell me that they want to share the love they’re feeling with family and friends, so they’re having a wedding. I’ve known couples who want to raise their children with a partner, and others who have gotten married for the legal or financial benefits. And some couples have me include words regarding the political aspects of marriage.

Now that couples of whichever genders can legally marry in California, the process of getting the marriage license can seem perfunctory. A couple appears at the county office, answers some factual questions, provides their I.D. and the fee, and receives their license.

There’s no test, no blood test and no compatibility test. Some clergy will require a couple to participate in pre-marital counseling. As I don’t have my own congregation, nor a background as a therapist, I don’t require that of my couples. I do suggest couples consider counseling with a trained professional. I choose to discuss with couples the most typical arenas in which disagreements arise: financial, child-rearing and family interactions.

I am fortunate in that all the couples whom I have had the honor of marrying appeared to be in love. At the risk of stepping into Tom Moon’s area of expertise, I would like to offer some thoughts about love and successful relationships.

Years ago, I was sharing with a friend that I broke up with my (then) boyfriend. I was questioning my actions, since it felt so easy being with him. My friend responded by say16

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going to bed angry comes in very handy. The two-word phrase “I’m sorry” can be a great start to repairing whatever damage was made.

Weddings Howard Steiermann ing that I shouldn’t stay with a guy because it was easy to live with him, but rather I should stay with a guy whom I feel I can’t live without.

Over the years, I have come to believe that there is no such thing as a perfect mate. Rabbi Barnett Brickner said, “Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through being the right mate.” I would elaborate by saying that the search isn’t for the perfect lover, but rather to love to the best of our ability.

The foundation of a strong relationship is built on trust and communication. My relationships have flourished when my partner has encouraged me to be, and do, my best.

Sometimes in a loving relationship we decide to prioritize the relationship over our personal/individual desires. A relationship can be nurtured even in times of disagreement if the discussion focuses on moving things forward rather than tearing our partner apart. As humans, we might say something in the heat of the moment, which we later regret.

At those times, the adage of not

People’s needs and expectations around love and relationships vary.

“We have to teach our partner to love us and not expect them to read our minds,” sex and relationship expert Dr. Tammy Nelson states. “You know you are with the right person when they tell you what makes them feel loved and you are happy to generously lather them with whatever they need. And they do the same for you.”

It’s said that we won’t f ind love while we’re searching for it. What do we do in the meantime? If you are hoping to eventually find love, I encourage you to work on building a strong foundation for your own life.

Participate in activities you enjoy.

Learn new skills. Engage with the world. Don’t look for another person to complete you. It is easier to create a strong bond with another person once we feel grounded ourselves.

Lust is wonderful, but most often temporary. Love, however, is a decision, which we reaffirm every time we decide to commit to being with our partner through better or worse, when the road is bumpy or smooth.

Being a wedding officiant is an honor and a pleasure, as I get to be the one person standing in between a couple on the day they declare their love and embark upon their lives as a married couple!

Howard M. Steiermann is an Ordained Ritual Facilitator based in San Francisco.

For more information, please visit www.

SFHoward.com

Countdown to Equality lesbian couple’s divorce case could proceed because the Texas ban on recognizing such unions was unconstitutional. And Bill Frist may have known best when he said, “Recent court rulings have created a legal domino effect.”

And then there were three.

Just a few weeks ago, there were five states either without marriage equality or without an active lawsuit for equal marriage rights. But the pace of change continues to accelerate with the filing of a new case for equality in Georgia, and the announcement that South Dakota will be next.

That will leave only three states— Alaska, Montana, and North Dakota—without either marriage equality or marriage lawsuits for the time being. Yet even Alaska’s Supreme Court just issued a unanimous ruling in favor of equal treatment for same-sex couples under Alaskan tax law. In its decision, the Court articulated that “[m] any same-sex couples are … just as truly closely relat[ed] and closely connected as any married couple, in … providing the same level of love, commitment, and mutual economic and emotional support … and would … get married if they were not prohibited by law from doing so.”

You could almost hear former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin exclaiming, “I can see equality from my backyard!”

Equality is also in the backyard of the couples who are stepping forward to challenge South Dakota’s marriage ban. They are marrying in nearby marriage equal-

Marriage Equality Stuart Gaffney and John Lewis, Marriage Equality USA ity states—Minnesota (where the Mayor of Minneapolis is performing one of their weddings) and Iowa (which recently celebrated 5 years of marriage equality since the Iowa Supreme Court’s historic ruling in 2009)—and then challenging South Dakota’s refusal to recognize their marriages.

Ten years ago, during San Francisco’s Winter of Love that brought marriage licenses to over 4,000 same-sex couples in City Hall, then-Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist famously accused San Francisco of igniting a “wildfire” that was “likely to spread through all 50 states.” With equality or active lawsuits in 47 states, Bill Frist’s prediction is coming to pass today. Even deep in the heart of Texas, equality is advancing in unexpected ways as another judge just ruled that a

It’s interesting to read these words today knowing that the tide has turned. When Mike Huckabee recently addressed the topic of whether he was on the “wrong side of history,” he said, “I’m not against anybody; I’m really not.

I’m not a hater. I’m not homophobic. I honestly don’t care what people do personally in their individual lives.” We’ll let you decide whether he doth protest too much.

While Gavin Newsom’s comment “whether you like it or not” may not have been well-timed, he did point out a conundrum for those who are against the freedom to marry: seeing historic change happening before their eyes, they have a choice to rage against it, or to embrace our common humanity. We know which side we’d rather be on.

In the meantime, the countdown to equality nationwide continues.

John Lewis and Stuart Gaffney, together for nearly three decades, were plaintiffs in the California case for equal marriage rights decided by the California Supreme Court in 2008. They are leaders in the nationwide grassroots organization Marriage Equality USA.

Molly Martin and Holly Holbrook are celebrating their marriage and good times at Muir Beach and other favorite beautiful places

PHOTO BY STEVEN UNDERHILL

Bryan Pangilinan and Bob Fleshman were married on April 28 by Tani Cantil-Sakauye, Chief Justice of the Supreme Court of California. Above right, their rings.

Kurt Stammberger and Pedro Mascaro declared it was an “Amazing day!” when they were married at Kauai, Hawaii, with friends and family gathered around to enjoy Na Aina Kai Botanical Gardens & Sculpture Park.

Dottie Casazza and Scottie celebrated Dottie’s birthday at AT&T Park cheering, “Go Giants!”

Bay Times reader Michael Ritz holds a recent issue standing in front of Mar Y Aventuras and Posada Luna Sol while vacationing in La Paz, Mexico.

Deb Stallings’ favorite egg dish for Easter

Ellen Haller and wife Joanne’s Passover table set for 17 BAY T IM ES M AY 1, 2014

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Eliminate Labels, Erase Expectations ARIES (March 21 – April 19) Acknowledge your allies, Aries. Prickly power struggles in your partnership sector require patience and perseverance now. Honor each other’s efforts.

Despite individual differences, you still play for the same team.

LEO (July 23 – August 22) “Scatterbrained” doesn’t even begin to describe you now, sweet Leo. With so many scrumptious ideas to feast upon, it’s a wonder you can focus at all! Be selective.

SAGITTARIUS (November 22 – December 21) Let it go, Sagittarius. Now’s your chance to shed Sure, Sagittarius – carving this new niche in your community could uncover some pretty intense insecurity. But you’re not alone. Spreading your wings will inspire others to fly alongside you.

better.

TAURUS (April 20 – May 20) Tune in, Taurus. Subconscious tension is taking a toll on your daily duties. Reserve time to sit in stillness. Solutions rise to the surface when you synchronize body and spirit.

Astrology Gypsy Love Revolutionary philosopher Jiddu Krishnamurti warned us that the moment you teach a child that a bird is called “bird,” the child would never see the bird again. This concept is a fitting complement to our current astral climate. Cosmically, we’re called to eliminate labels, erase expectations, and reclaim our intimate connection with existence. Depending solely on definitives could obscure your sacred vision now. Walk with a sense of wonder.

Visit www.GypsyLoveProductions.com

GEMINI (May 21 – June 20) Jump for your joy, Gemini. Presently, the planets petition you to re-prioritize your passions. Allow yourself to lean outside the laws of reason. Logic can be limiting now.

CANCER (June 21 – July 22) Current cracks in your emotional foundation call for careful reconstruction. To you, dear Cancer, home and heart go hand-in-hand. Catering to core needs will calm you from the inside out.

VIRGO (August 23 – September 22) Goals are growing and cash is flowing. Choose your “must-haves” wisely, Virgo. Reduce waste and invigorate earning potential by investing only in authentic values. When in doubt, do without.

LIBRA (September 23 – October 22) Cool your heels a little, Libra. A frantic rush to the finish line isn’t always the most effective approach.

Timing is everything. Don’t underestimate the power of a delayed reaction.

SCORPIO (October 23 – November 21) Do you feel that, Scorpio? Celestially, you’re summoned to separate from situations that suppress your state of being. Soulful signals will sizzle behind the scenes until you come your senses.

CAPRICORN (December 22 – January 19) Keep your eye on the prize, Capricorn. Cosmic kinks in your career plans could cause discomfort now.

There’s a light inside every obstacle. View each setback like it’s serendipity.

AQUARIUS (January 20 – February 18) Open the floodgates, Aquarius. “Big picture” principles come pouring in now. You may even encounter a guru or two. Broadening your perspective will help you transform pain into gain.

PISCES (February 19 – March 20) There, there, Pisces. Although it may seem like someone has set your soul on “spin cycle,” you’ve really been granted an exquisite opportunity. Get ready to rewrite the rules.

Gypsy Love Productions is dedicated to inspiring love and unity with music, dance, and astrology.

As Heard on the Street . . .

compiled by Rink

AL L PHOTOS BY RIN K

Who should be featured on a postage stamp?

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Lauren Artress

Margie Adam

Ruth MacGregor

Brian Vouglas

Denise D’Anne

“Magic Johnson”

“Anita Hill, because it’s not over. She is one brave woman!”

“Jessye Norman”

“Cat Stevens”

“Anita Hill ”

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Arts&Entertainment Hypnotic Young & Beautiful Penetrates Mysteries of Human Sexuality and Identity her motivations. I wanted to f ilm without easy explanations—to be a voyeur.”

Film

Gary M. Kramer

Young & Beautiful, the latest film from prolific gay writer/director François Ozon, is an exquisitely made drama that chronicles a year in the life of seventeen-year-old Isabelle (Marine Vacth). After she loses her virginity at the beach in the summer, Isabelle returns to Paris and secretly works as a prostitute after school. When one of her clients dies, Isabelle’s activities are brought to the attention of her mother Sylvie (Géraldine Pailhas), who is shocked and saddened by her daughter’s behavior.

Ozon met with me for the Bay Times to talk about Young & Beautiful. The filmmaker explained that what was important for him was to show “the mystery of who was behind the girl—

His detached approach has Isabelle being spied on through binoculars while sunbathing on the beach in the opening scene, and often through car windows and hotel room mirrors.

The scene where Isabelle is def lowered includes a moment where the teenager literally steps outside the situation and “watches herself.”

Ozon indicated that his mise en scène was “to discover who she is.” He explained, “She is changing. She has new desires. She is no longer a child, but not yet an adult. It’s a transformation. She has a different costume for each character. Adolescence is finding a place, and taking freedom from your parents. It’s having a double life.

I think adolescents need to separate from family—hide a part of their life—to find intimacy.”

The story of a teenage girl keeping her sexual activities a secret from her parents certainly parallels gay youth hiding their same-sex desires. Ozon admitted that he initially conceived the film as a teenage boy discovering his sexuality. He explained, “But if he were a prostitute, we would have gay themes, and I felt that was too heavy.

I wanted to make something light, sweet, and girly.” He added, “My last film, In the House, was about a boy, and I wanted a change. It is no problem for me to identify with a female character. For me, it’s clearer. It was not a direct reflection of me.”

Ozon candidly revealed a bit about what he discovered about himself at seventeen. He acknowledged, “I knew I had the power to seduce. I used that, but not in the same way as Isabelle— I didn’t become a prostitute—but adults were looking at me differently.

I felt the sexuality of adult women and men. It was real power. They were older, and because I was young and beautiful, I could use that.”

The director, who is an older brother to two sisters, often explores fam-

ily dynamics in his films. In Young & Beautiful he treats the family with tenderness. He said, “I wanted to understand each point of view, from the complaining mother to the macho stepfather (Frédéric Pierrot). There is a violence for parents; the mother feels guilty. She educates and loves her daughter, and she feels Isabelle’s actions are because of her.”

Ozon further observed that parents regularly have to deal with facts that might make them uncomfortable, such as their son being gay, or their daughter having sex with a family friend. The way Sylvia handles the discovery of her daughter choosing to

be a sex worker is what makes the film so compelling in its second act.

The director researched the character of Isabelle by meeting with many psychoanalysts and policemen who worked with teen prostitutes. Young & Beautiful makes it clear that Isabelle’s prostitution is a form of control; she is not doing it for the money. This makes it a feminist film in Ozon’s eyes. “There is a disconnect between her sexuality and her feeling, especially when she confronts death,” he said.

Moreover, the f ilmmaker does not see Isabelle’s losing her virginity as a key to her behavior. “Isabelle just wants to turn the page. I don’t think

it was an important moment. It’s really amazing; I don’t know anyone for whom losing their virginity is such a great moment. It’s a disaster. You choose someone and you have to do it.

There’s too much pressure.”

Ozon worked closely with Vacth, who was 21 when Young & Beautiful was shot. The young actress gives an incredibly assured performance, and her body language is particularly terrific. He explained about their collaboration, “I’m honest with actors.

I do not manipulate them. I tell them everything what I want (and) what I don’t. I explain what to do before the sex and nude scenes.” He even counseled his leading lady by telling her that, “This is a film that will follow you all your life. People will confuse the character and the actress.”

Ozon created a trust with Vacth, and likened Isabelle to Catherine Deneuve’s prostitute in Belle de Jour or Charlotte Rampling’s role in The Night Porter. Rampling has an important cameo in Young & Beautiful.

Ozon admitted that he deliberately gave her the role because, “Isabelle is mysterious, and [Vacth] is the same kind of actress as Rampling. I wanted to create a transmission from the old woman to the young girl. A mature actress and a new actress at the beginning of her career, so what you feel is a passing of the baton.”

The f ilm is hypnotic throughout, culminating in this critical scene between the two actresses. Young & Beautiful confirms Ozon’s mastery at penetrating the mysteries of human sexuality and identity. © 2014 Gary M. Kramer Gary M. Kramer is the author of “Independent Queer Cinema: Reviews and Interviews,” and the co-editor of “Directory of World Cinema: Argentina.” You can follow him on Twitter @garymkramer.

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Round About - 7th Annual SF DogFest Photos by Rink

DogFest is an annual celebration of dogs and kids, benefitting McKinley Elementary School, a public school located in the Castro neighborhood. Held on Saturday, April 26, at Duboce Park, the event featured Daniel Handler as master of ceremonies and official representative of Lemony Snicket. Kristine Arth’s Rufus the Pug was selected Best in Show.

Matt Wheeler’s greyhound Re was also an award-winner this year.

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Sister Dana Sez: Words of Wisdumb From a Fun Nun

By Sister Dana Van Iquity Sister Dana sez, “May 1st is May Day, which means you either celebrate by picking flowers and dancing around the May Pole, or your ship is in distress and you holler, ‘May Day! May Day!’ to the Coast Guard.

Which is it?!”

LAMBDA LEGAL is the nation’s oldest and largest legal organization working for the civil rights of queers and people with HIV/AIDS. They pursue impact litigation; cases that will have the greatest impact in protecting and advancing the rights of LGBTQ people and those with HIV. Their docket ordinarily includes about 65 open cases at a time and also supports many important cases by filing friend-of-the-court (amicus) briefs. Current cases address marriage equality in states across the US, as well as HIV and trans-rights, adoption rights, workplace discrimination, immigration equality, and rights to equal benefits, just to name a few.

To toast Lambda’s landmark victories from over 40 years of successful impact litigation, we joined Lambda Legal’s Bay Area Leadership Council for a fabulous evening at City View at the Metreon for SOIREE 2014, in our city, where equal relationship recognition had its first beginning. We learned from Execu-

tive Director Kevin Cathcart about Lambda Legal’s fight to take these victories across the nation. Kyle Bodda (graduate of Sultana High School in Hesperia) and his former teacher and Lambda Legal plaintiff, Julia Frost spoke about homophobia in schools. “When gay students would try to seek guidance or help from our principal, he would look at us as abominations,” said Bodda.

“That held true for punishments as well.” Frost was fired for being out.

“Despite California law, some people in my profession are not open to having LGBT teachers. I could give up and let them block change, ignore the laws, keep our schools the way they want them,” she said. “But when we fail to act when confronted with injustice, we freely give up pieces of our humanity.”

LAVENDER YOUTH RECREATION AND INFORMATION CENTER (LYRIC)’S 25TH ANNIVERSARY OPEN HOUSE was held at their HQ at 127 Collingwood Street, where they gave special shoutouts to their amazing neighborhood partners. With over 120 community supporters and more than 40 staff, interns, and board members, we celebrated 25 years of empowering LGBTQ youth to thrive and develop as leaders in their communities. Many of the attendees helped them celebrate their past and sustain their future by becoming a LYRIC Champion. We were given a guided tour by the young interns and witnessed the impressive Affirmations Wall and the gallery of LYRIC history going back 25 years.

The theme was LYRIC YOUTH: QUEERING OUR HISTORY, DEFINING OUR FUTURE! T H E 35T H A N N I V E R S A RY E A ST E R W E E K E N D W I T H TH E SISTER S was ver y busy and well attended by nuns and nun

fans. COOKIE DOUGH’S HOLY BROADWAY MONSTER SHOW at the Edge was a total riot. We had Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence from all over the US, in and out of face, plus founding members in abundance. Show-nuns doing Broadway numbers from Book Of Mormon, Jesus Christ Superstar, Godspell, and Sister Act were Sisters Dana, Dharma, Agnes, Rosemary Chicken, and others who donated their tips back to the charity.

MAGNET celebrated the Sisters’ 35 years of their special brand of public ministry with HOLY THURSDAY at Magnet’s HQ in the Castro. The event featured an Archive Exhibition of the “Docu Photos” of Bill Weaver, presented by Sr. Mary Ralph, Archive Aide De Camp, with statements by the Artist, as well as Sr. Vish-Nu, co-founder and Sr. Mary Media, one of the creators of the original “Play Fair,” The Sisters’ safer sex guide. This event was also the Kickoff for the Sisters’ Easter Conclave weekend, when other SPI Orders traveled from afar (as far as Germany and France). And of course our 35th annual anniversary in Golden Gate Park was a big hit with live entertainment and Sister Roma and I emceeing the Easter Basket, Hunky Jesus, and Foxy Mary contests.

The Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence gave out charitable grants as follows: Queer Prophesies- $500 for public art work; Persist Health Project- $750 for training and start up health services for sex workers; Turn Up the Base$1,000 for housing and other needs for trans youth of color camp; Sacred Space SF- $1,500 for Night Ministry; A Chance to Dress- $1,000 for a documentary on cross dressing; Ministry of Presence Institute- $1,000 for start up costs; Sister Barbi Fund - $2,000; and Monet Allard- $1,000 for a documentary film.

10TH ANNUAL SPRING FLING was a festive Sunday luncheon fundraiser for OPENHOUSE, the eventual home for elder queer seniors, held at Four Seasons Hotel. Executive Director Seth Kilbourn spoke of the vision to be a community resource and point of engagement for all LGBTQ older adults and their loved ones in the years ahead. Over the next fifteen years, the number of LGBTQ older adults living in San Francisco is expected to grow by 30% or more. In October, Openhouse and Mercy Housing California will break ground. Michael Tate was emcee. The Inaugural Eva Lily Volunteer Service Awards were given to Chris Torno and John Wherry for their excellence in volunteering.

As a life-long advocate and activist for LGBTQ rights, Pam David received the Adelman/Gurevitch Founders Award. The Hon. Vaughn R. Walker received the Trailblazer Award for his landmark ruling striking down the anti-marriage equality Prop 8 and making the way for state after state to follow suit. Jason Brock provided entertainment singing “Misty” and “The Greatest Love.”

T H E COU N T E S S K AT YA SMIRNOFF-SKYY, San Francisco’s favorite Russian redhead, mezzo soprano female impersonator, appeared at Feinstein’s for one-nightonly with her hit show, BACK IN THE USSR, A VOYAGE INTO THE BEATLES’ SONGBOOK. She absolutely crushed it with her string of Beatle hits sung opera-style (“popera”). There were even slides of her superimposed posing with the Fab Four. Truly fascinating was her broken -English patter about her madeup love relationship with Ringo.

Especially fun was the psychedelic hippy trippy set, which included a dancing egg-man and walrus puppets

(illustrating “I Am the Walrus”) and her Rocky Raccoon puppet. Sheelagh Murphy added to the joy with “Help” while Katya changed into another gown. Don’t miss Katya at her next show at Martuni’s! She is a hoot!

100 YEARS... OF THE DOUBLE D’S was a delightful combined birthday celebration for Drew Cutler and Donna Sachet at Donna’s Imperial Palace in the Castro, where nearly a hundred friends of the 2D’s ate, drank, and made merry. I am not allowed to tell how the hundred years were divided between the two, but suffice it to say that Donna celebrated a Big One. Donna’s home was turned into a museum of their lives. Donna sang “I’m Still Here” from Follies.

A midnight surprise was Senator Mark Leno appearing to wish the pair a Happy Hundred! No, he didn’t jump out of a cake.

CUMMING UP!!!

SWIMWEAR FOR A CAUSE is a benefit for PROJECT INFORM on Saturday, May 3rd, 2-5pm at Phoenix Hotel, 601 Eddy Street. Hosted by model/singer DQ Honey Mahogany, we return to the incomparable Phoenix Hotel poolside lounge where guests will enjoy amazing music, delicious food from Chambers eat + drink, unlimited cocktails, and striking models strutting their stuff in swimwear - all to raise awareness and support for Project Inform’s lifesaving mission. projectinform.org Peaches Ch r i st ha s pl a n ned a Mot her’s Day par t y to d ie for!

Since your mom is no doubt craving something different on her day, why not take her to a celebration of the most hilariously lethal fedup mom in movie history: Beverly Sutphin, legendarily portrayed by (continued on page 26)

(© CARSON L ANCASTER)

glass pieces part of program 8 / triple bill

MAY 1–11

nite out:

(© CHRIS HARDY)

SF Ballet’s exclusive cultural event for the LGBT community

FRI, MAY 9 Come and see what all the buzz is about!

After a thrilling performance, join Nite Out hosts Principal Dancer Damian Smith and Corps de Ballet Dancer Shannon Marie Rugani and

Don’t miss these exuberant ballets by America’s most legendary dance makers!

Set to a throbbing score by Philip Glass, Jerome Robbins’ Glass Pieces is a heart-stopping work that pulses with the energy of the big city. Plus see two works by the dance world’s most celebrated choreographer, George Balanchine: Agon and Brahms-Schoenberg Quartet.

other SF Ballet dancers for a post-show party. Get to know our dancers, enjoy complimentary cocktails, light bites, and a live DJ. TICKETS: sfballet.org/NiteOut

SAN FRANCISCO BALLET IN ROBBINS’ GLASS PIECES (© ERIK TOMASSON)

2014 MEDIA SPONSORS

NITE OUT MEDIA SPONSOR

BUY TICKETS TODAY!

sfballet.org

BAY T IM ES M AY 1, 2014

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Round About — Easter Frolics — Photos by Rink Bay Times photographer Rink’s travels on Easter Sunday took him to Golden Gate Park for the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence Annual Easter Party, including the ever popular Hunky Jesus Contest, moderated by Sisters Roma, Zsa Zsa and Dana Van Iquity. This year’s winner was known as “Tweaker Jesus.” Later, Rink was there at Café Flore for the annual party held there and hosted by the Café’s owner JD Petras and numerous Sisters. The festivities held on Easter were part of the 35th Anniversary Emerald Jubilee of the Sisters. Watch for more on this important anniversary in an upcoming Bay Times. Notables attending included Senator Mark Leno, Sisters co-founder Sister Soami, and Bay Times columnist Kippy Marks. Security was provided by members of the Castro Community on Patrol.

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Round About — Easter Frolics — Photos by Steven Underhill Thousands turned out for the Easter Parade at Golden Gate Park on Sunday, April 20. Bay Times photographer Steven Underhill made his way through the throngs, capturing intriguing images along the way!

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See many more Calendar items @ www.sfbaytimes.com

compiled by Robert Fuggiti

Ecological Intelligence – Commonwealth Club. $20. 5:30 pm.

(595 Market St.) www.commonwealthclub.org. Daniel Goleman explores the neuroscience of change and the role of emotion as the missing link to society’s consumption and reducing carbon pollution.

Acting Out: For the Health of It – Brava Theater Center. $35.

6:45 pm. (2781 24th St.) www.bcaction.org. Join the second annual variety show benefiting Breast Cancer Action.

Monster Show – The Edge SF. Free. 10 pm. (4149 18th St.) www. qbarsf.com/edge. Cookie Dough hosts an unpredictable cast for a wild show.

Lovebirds – The Marsh. $20-$35.

8 pm. (1062 Valencia St.) www.themarsh.org. A rollicking tale of incurable romantics from GLAAD award-winning solo theatre artist and comedian Marga Gomez.

Letters – Harry’s Up Stage. $32. 8 pm. (2081 Addison St., Berkeley) www.auroratheatre.org. Enjoy an enthralling performance of John W. Lowell’s psychological thriller.

Boy Bar – The Café. $5. 9 pm to 2 am. (2369 Market St.) www.guspresents.com. The Castro’s hottest weekly party with go-go dancers and early drink specials.

Irene Hendricks Art Sale – Spring Open Studios. Free. 11 am to 6 pm. (Hunters Point Shipyard,

“Much Ado About Nothing” will be a the Buriel Clay Theater on May, 11.

Building 101) www.irenehenrick. com. Celebrate the 25th anniversary of Spring Open Studios.View and purchase works by Irene Hendricks and 150 other artists.

The Lusty Month of May – Martuni’s. $10. 7 pm. (4 Valencia St.) www.tomshawtrio.com. Martuni’s proudly presents The Lusty Month Of May, vocalist Karen Hirst’s new solo show, backed by drummer Roberta Drake and singer/pianist Tom Shaw.

Gwen Avery Memorial – Montclair Women’s Club. $15. 6 pm. (1650 Mountain Blvd., Oakland) www.montclairartsclub.com.

Celebrate the life of Gwen Avery,.

Proceeds benefitting the Gwen Avery Scholarship Fund for Girls.

Du Barry Was a Lady – The Eureka Theatre. $25-$75. 7 pm.

(215 Jackson St.) www.42stmoon. org. Concluding its 21st Season, 42nd Street Moon presents Cole Porter’s saucy Du Barry Was A Lady starring famed comedian, writer, and actor Bruce Vilanch.

Cabaret Showcase Showdown – Martuni’s. $7. 7 pm.

(4 Valencia St.) 415-241-0205. A cabaret contest in search of the best pop cabaret singer.

Sunday’s a Drag Brunch – The Starlight Room. 12 pm to 2:30 24

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pm. (450 Powell St.) www.starlightroomsf.com. Donna Sachet host an elegant brunch with modern dance numbers, classic singing, and hilarious comedy.

Ten Percent – David Perry. Free.

11:30 am. (Comcast Channel 104) www.davidperry.com. David Perry chats with psychotherapist Adam Blum about his work with same sex couples.

LGBTQ Support Group – Petaluma Health Center. Free. 5:30 pm to 6:30 pm. (1179 N. McDowell Blvd., Petaluma) www.phealthcenter.org. A positive support group for the LGBTQ community in Petaluma. Meetings happen every Monday.

Karaoke Night – Toad Hall.

Free. 8 pm. (4146 18th St.) www. toadhallbar.com. Sing your heart out on stage at Toad Hall’s weekly karaoke night.

ggba.com. A monthly networking event for the LGBT and allied community’s professionals.

Trivia Night – Hi Tops. Free. 10 pm. (2247 Market St.) www. hitopssf.com. Test your trivia knowledge at this sports bar.

Geezer – The Marsh. $20-$35. 8 pm. (1062 Valencia St.) www.themarsh.org. Geoff Hoyle brings his irrepressible comedy and trademark physicality, as well as an elegiac wistfulness, to this performance about what it is like to grow old.

Castro Farmers Market – Noe St. at Market. Free. 4 pm to 8 pm. (Noe St. at Market) www. pcfma.com. Enjoy fresh produce and local made foods and delicacies.

Happening every Wednesday.

Meditation Group – San Francisco Public Library. Free. 12 pm to 12:45 pm. (100 Larkin St.) www.sfpl.org. A weekly meditation group to find inner calmness.

Ghost Flowers – A Woman’s Eye Gallery. Free. 12 pm to 5 pm. (678 Portola Dr.) www.awegallery.com.

Donna Levreault shows her unique and alluring photography collection.

Dracula – Shelton Theater. $30. 8 pm. (533 Sutter St.) www.sheltontheater.org. Enjoy a new adaptation of Bram Stoker’s Dracula.

May Make Contact – Under One Roof. Free for Members. 6 pm to 8 pm. (518A Castro St.)www.

They Call Me Q – Stage Werx. $20. 8 pm. (446 Valencia St.) www. stagewerx.org. A coming of age

tale with tremendous humor and compelling emotion.

Gym Class – Hi Tops. Free. 10 pm. (2247 Market St.) www. hitopssf.com. Enjoy a night of fun at Castro’s only gay sports bar.

Rocked by Women – Dance Mission Theater. $18-$150. 8 pm.

(3316 24th St.) www.sarahbushdance.com. Enjoy a celebration of female musicians, feminism and LGBT community.

The Color Purple – Hillbarn Theatre. $23-$38. 8 pm. (1285 East Hillsdale Blvd., Foster City) www. hillbarntheatre.org. An inspiring family saga that tells the unforgettable story of Celie, a downtrodden woman who – through love – finds the strength to triumph over adversity and finds her voice.

Some Thing – The Stud. $5. 10 pm. (399 9th St.) www.studsf.com.

A uniquely themed party on Friday nights, with drag shows at 11 pm.

Much Ado About Nothing – Buriel Clay Theater. $25. 3 pm. (762 Webster) www.african-americanshakes.org. African-American Shakespeare Company stages Shakespeare’s celebration of the joy of love and the power of redemption.

Jock – Lookout. $2. 3 pm to 9 pm.

(3600 16th St.) www.lookoutsf. com. A weekly fundraising party for Bay Area LGBT sports groups.

Glamazone – The Café. Free. 9 pm to 2 am. (2369 Market St.) www.cafesf.com. Enjoy drink specials during the day and drag performances through the evening.

Piano Bar 101 – Martuni’s. Free.

9 pm. (4 Valencia St.) www.dragatmartunis.com. Sing along with friends and patrons.

Motown Monday – Madrone Art Bar. Free. 6 pm. (500 Divisadero St.) www.madroneartbar.com.

Dance the night away to favorite Motown songs and remixes.

Monday Night Bluegrass – Amnesia. Free. 6 pm. (853 Valencia St.) www.amnesiathebar.com. Enjoy a night of Bluegrass music every Monday night at this Mission bar.

Patti Issues – Rebel. $20. 7 pm.

(1760 Market St.) www.pattiissues. com. The critically acclaimed hit solo play returns to San Francisco.

Marriage 101 – The City Club. Free. 5:30 pm to 7 pm. (155

Sansome St.) www.jordanmilleradvisors.com. An informational seminar covering everything you need to know about marriage in California.

Smack Dab Open Mic Night – Magnet. Free. 8 pm. (4122 18th St.) www.magnetsf.org. An open mic night with host Larry-bob Roberts.

Video Tuesdays – Lookout.

Free. 8 pm. (2600 16th St.) www. lookoutsf.com.VJ 6PAC plays the best in music videos every Tuesday.

Switch – Q Bar. $5. 10 pm to 2 am. (456 Castro St.) www.qbarsf. com. A weekly lesbian dance party.

Block Party – Midnight Sun. Free. 9 pm. (4067 18th St.) www. midnightsunsf.com. Weekly screenings of your favorite music videos.

Bruce Vilanch stars in “Du Berry Was a Lady,” May 4.

Pre Fab2014 Party – El Rio. Free. 4 pm to 8 pm. (3158 Mission St.) www.fabulosa.org. Enjoy live performances and dancing including a show by Average Dyke Band.

Barbara Higbie – Freight and Savage. $20. 8 pm. (2020 Addison St.) www.freightandsavage.org.

Barbara Higbie gives a special performance celebrating the release of her new CD. Peel Me a Grape – Martuni’s. $7.

7 pm. (4 Valencia St.) 415-241-0205.

Come see Ms.Vanessa Bousay perform and help support local charity,Tenderloin Tessie.

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(ROSTOW continued from page 11) whether our major sexual orientat ion d iscr im inat ion r u l ing from last January will stay on the books w it hout fur t her rev iew from t he full court. If the ruling holds, and if the (Nevada) case goes forward, Taylor won’t have that much longer to wait before Idaho’s marriage amendment turns into mashed potatoes.

I c a n’t remember whet her I ’ve mentioned Mel and my plan to be

cremated and mixed together. We decided to buy three tacky urns, perhaps decorated w ith spark les and inlaid photos of the two of us sm i l i ng d r u n ken ly a nd hold i ng t ropica l cock t a i l s. M aybe we’l l have “Mom and Ann” written in script. Anyway, we’ll give one urn to each of the three adult children with instructions to keep them on prom i nent d i s play forever. Oh, m ay b e we’ l l w r it e “ Na n a a nd

Grand Ann” and make the grandkids put the urns on the mantle.

Something like that. The idea is so outrageous that it’s almost tempting.

Maybe we’ll write little notes and put them on the bottom under the ashes that say, “Put us back in the urn this instant!” arostow@aol.com

(FRIENDS OF NAOMI continued from page 3) liver enzymes or hyperlipidemia. All individuals on hormones should be regularly monitored for appropriate therapeutic levels, and screened for risk factors associated with hormonal therapy.

Lyon-Martin provides services regardless of ability to pay.

Patients can be reluctant to discuss health care issues involving body parts that are not part of their gender identity, and may not ask for pertinent health care evaluations. As many as 45% do not even inform their primary care providers that they are transgender.

We live in a binary gender society, and most medical forms ref lect this. Providers may only see “male or female” and may not ask. But this is not a good time for “don’t ask don’t tell.” Because of negative experiences with health care services, one third of transgender people have delayed, or not received, needed health care procedures. Others have been refused services by providers or insurance.

At the Department of Public Health’s Tom Waddell clinic, there is a weekly transgender clinic.

We are lucky in the Bay Area to have many excellent providers and centers of care for the Transgender community. To mention a few:

Has it been a while since you, your prostate or breasts were evaluated?

Consider your options! If you know of a clinic or organization that serves our

The Asian Pacific Islander Wellness center provides weekly free comprehensive medical care.

transgender community with distinction, please send in a letter and let us know!

Dr. Naomi Jay is a nurse practitioner in the department of Infectious Disease at UCSF.

Transgender Health Care Resources

Dimensions is a twice-weekly clinic within the Castro-Mission Health Center offering low-cost services for transgender youth aged 12 to 25.

Online resources for transgender persons and their providers include:

The Center of Excellence for Transgender healthcare at UCSF provides clinician education and access to comprehensive services throughout UCSF.

2- Transline, a Transgender Medical Consulation Service, offers upto-date information and is free of charge: transline.zendesk.com

Medi-cal expansion, thanks to Obamacare, now provides healthcare for many formerly uninsured transgender people.

1- A listing of services throughout California: www.acphd.org

3- The current standards of care by the World Professional Association for Transgender Health: www. wpath.org 4- Health care protocols for transgender health care: http://transhealth.ucsf.edu/trans and www. lgbthealtheducation.org/training/ learning-modules

(THE KIAI WAY continued from page 4) that a woman proves she’s an amazing athlete by her moves on the field and not her poses in front of a camera. I hope to see the day where the phrase ‘you play like a girl’ is no longer an insult but a compliment.”

While we’re in an Olympic year, I thought I’d Google ‘role of women ancient Greek Olympics.’ Take a few minutes yourself, as much interesting information comes up. For starters: 1) Women were second-class citizens, like slaves and foreigners, with limited rights.

2) Sex segregation prevailed in Greek sports and female athletes existed, but they weren’t allowed to compete in the Olympiad, not even separately alongside men.

2) Married women were legally barred from the ancient Games, but virgins and prostitutes were allowed in to spectate.

3) Women were originally the prizes in chariot races.

4) The Games were played for honor, and it would have been a disgrace for a man to be defeated by a woman.

5) Male Olympians competed naked.

One legend tells of a son from a feted athletic family, whose mother disguised herself to be at the games as his trainer. And, from that time on, trainers, as well as athletes, had to be naked to insure that they were indeed males!

Ancient Greek women did run, swim, wrestle, ride horses, drive chariots, and play ball games. By the 6th century, women had their own elite competitions known as the Heraean, and were required to wear special clothing.

Although the Olympic Games were revived in 1896, little has been heard, or made of, the Heraean Games. Despite the increasing participation of elite female athletes, it took until 1981 for a woman to gain a seat on the International Olympic Committee (IOC).

The truth is, fitness is for all humans, and athletics is no place for discrimination! Play and work ought to be equally available for young girls and women, while careers in sports must be equally compensated across the board. Everyone deserves to love their body, and

(SISTER DANA continued from page 21) Kathleen Turner, in cult-movie celebrating Mothers and all they do godfather JOHN WATERS’ 1994 for us on their day. They will be havclassic SERIAL MOM! For its 20th ing a great show with some fantastic anniversary, Serial Mom is getting girls lined up for you. There will also the full Peaches Christ treatment, be raff le prizes, Jell-O shots, and a including an all-new stage show beer bust. It will be one Mother of inspired by the movie, plus Misty Sut- a show! phin herself, pop culture icon RICKI LAKE, live and in person for a pre- Join ACADEMY OF FRIENDS show Q&A (conducted by Ms. Christ) at a very special event on Thursday, and merchandise signing! At The May 15th, 6:30-8:30pm at the Westin Castro Theatre, Saturday, May 10th, St. Francis San Francisco on Union 8pm. Wear white shoes (and non- Square, 335 Powell Street, when the flame retardant clothing) at your own Board of Directors of Academy of Friends will present Bay Area HIV/ risk! peacheschrist.com AIDS agencies with the money raised SHOW YOUR MOTHER SOME over the past year and at their annual LOVE on May 11th at the Midnight Oscar Night Gala. academyoffriends.

Sun, 4067 18th Street, 4-7pm for the org fundraiser for the San Francisco Imperial Monarch’s Fund to Join RAINBOW WORLD FUND help get Empress Misty Blue and on a HUMANITARIAN JOUREmperor John Paul Soto’s reign NEY TO CUBA, May 16 - 25. Enoff to a great start! Bring your Mom, counter new lands and peoples in a your Drag Mom, or that Special Per- way that values them, deepens your son that you call Mom for a fun time spirituality, broadens your worldview 26

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to enjoy physical activity and athletic opportunity. It’s each person’s responsibility to take good care of his or her embodied self and body-mind spirit systems. Let’s be sure life here on earth is everyone’s playground, and that we’re all in the game!

Women Golfers! Join Jamie and the Horizons Foundation at the 5th Annual LGBT Golf Fore Good Tournament on Friday, June 13th at Chardonnay Golf Club in Napa Valley. Call 760-492-4653 or 415-398-2333 x115 for info/registration. For more information about Jamie Leno Zimron and her work, please visit www.thekiaiway.com/

and begins to heal the world. Learn about the cultural, historical, spiritual, and political realities of the developing world. Explore human rights issues with a people whose traditions span centuries of development. Experience ancient, colonial, and modern influences that have molded cultures of unique strength and deep faith.

Help deliver medical and educational supplies, and be forever changed. The journey is educational - focusing on Cuba’s history, politics, and spirituality. You will learn from the Cubans about the realities of their country.

You will visit projects that serve the Cuban people and meet with members of the LGBTQ community, church leadership, artists, and leaders in many fields. rainbowfund.org Sister Dana sez, “Happy Cinco de Mayo and Mother’s Day to all you mothers out there!”

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