professional development
THE POWER OF THE PAUSE
by Katherine Loranger
We all know what we “should” do, and even what we’d prefer to do, so then how is it that we have such a hard time doing those things and showing up for ourselves in the way we really want? The information is out there, and chances are we’ve done a course, read a book, listened to a podcast or watched a Youtube video that tells us exactly what to do. We get inspired, motivated and excited. We vow to just be better, to implement the “insert the whatever skill we wish we had” to do better. We tell ourselves that this is the time that it really sticks. Maybe we get a little bit of traction but then pretty soon we find ourselves reacting in the same old way. Once again, we’re beating ourselves up for how we yelled at our kids, snapped at our partner, eye-rolled at our coworker or how that bag of chips mysteriously ended up in our stomach. Those old habits of procrastination, taking on too much, putting our own needs last start to run our lives yet again. We feel defeated and demoralized. In those moments it can feel like we have no control, no choice as we find ourselves reacting in the same old way.
So, what’s a girl to do? I’d like to invite you to consider this story by Portia Nelson “I walk down the street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I fall in. I am lost... I am helpless. It isn’t my fault. It takes forever to find a way out. I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I pretend I don’t see it. I fall in again. I can’t believe I am in the same place. But, it isn’t my fault. It still takes me a long time to get out. I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I see it is there. I still fall in. It’s a habit. My eyes are open. I know where I am. It is my fault. I get out immediately. I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I walk around it. I walk down another street.”
36
|
