Baby's and Beyond - Issue 1

babys beyond and

April - June 2014

Natural birth Pros and cons Baby on budget Mums and tums Post-pregnancy bulge Help!

I don’t recognise my teen

ISSN 2311-5467

9 772311 546706

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babys beyond and

CONTENTS

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Features 10 Naturally does it 13 Worried about breastfeeding 16 Baby on budget 25 Cot-death, an unexplainable tragedy 26 Ditching the diapers 30 Mums and tums 36 Growing up 38 Prepping mum and baby for creche 42 Securing your child’s future 44 Safety at schools 46 Help! I don’t recognise my teen 48 Raising an autistic child 50 Tantrum terrors 54 Social networking threats 60 Design decor dreams 69 Single parenting tips

Regulars

38 4

18 Health: Mental health – a silent crisis 20 Dad’s diary: Beauty and the beasts 24 Health: Understanding nappy rash 28 Health: Battling the “baby blues” 34 Dad’s diary: Dad shares and death-ray glares 52 Health: Sleep deprivation – a reality for parents 64 Get some grub: Quick and easy recipes for parents on the go 66 Kicks for kids: Crosswords, word search, puzzles, colour-in 73 Giveaways www.babysandbeyond.co.za

CREDITS babys beyond and

April - June 2014

Natural birth Pros and cons

Content Coordinator: Melanie Taylor artwork@mediaxpose.co.za

Baby on budget Mums and tums Post-pregnancy bulge

Design: CDC Design carla@cdcdesign.co.za

Help!

I don’t recognise my teen

Project Manager: Wendy Scullard wendy@babysandbeyond.co.za Advertising Sales: Victoria Rose vicky@babysandbeyond.co.za Ehrin Manuel ehrin@babysandbeyond.co.za

ISSN 2311-5467

9 772311 546706

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Editor: Tashne Singh tashne.singh@gmail.com

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Cover Picture: www.sxc.hu

Chief Financial Officer: Shaun Mays shaun@mediaxpose.co.za Accounts Assistant: Melany Smith accounts1@mediaxpose.co.za Website: www.babysandbeyond.co.za Distribution: Universal Mail Link Printers: Tandym www.tandym.co.za

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babys beyond and

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404 Commerce House, 55 Short Market Street, Cape Town, 8001 PO. Box 15165, Vlaeberg, 8018 Tel: 021 424 3625 Fax: 086 544 5217 E-mail: info@babysandbeyond.co.za Disclaimer: The views expressed in this publication are not necessarily those of the publisher or its agents. While every effort has been made to ensure the accuracy of the information published, the publisher does not accept responsibility for any error or omission contained herein. Consequently, no person connected with the publication of this journal will be liable for any loss or damage sustained by any reader as a result of action following statements or opinions expressed herein. The publisher will give consideration to all material submitted, but does not take responsibility for damage or its safe return.

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42

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ED’S NOTE Change – a challenge that is positive Welcome to the launch edition of Baby’s and Beyond!

The underlying theme for this edition is about celebrating change, from new mums adapting and embracing this exciting yet somehow terrifying journey of motherhood, fathers expressing their thoughts on raising a child, to toddlers and children expressing their own individuality.

Although giving birth has been a natural occurrence for centuries, the decisions that come along with it in today’s world are myriad. Today women are faced with the decision of C-section versus natural birth. While it is understood that some women are unable to give birth naturally, for those to whom it is not a safety concern, in this issue we discuss the pros and cons of natural birth (p 10).

Another important decision for mums is the question of breastfeeding. Page 13 discusse or not choosing to breastfeed.

It is a well-known fact that having a baby is a massive expense, which incrementally changes your lifestyle. Parents all have different budgets, and it is important not to break the bank due to having a baby. And while all parents want the best for their child, going the route of the most expensive is best is not necessarily true. Page 16 discusses the best way to have a baby on budget – what are the essentials needed and what can be construed as extras.

Staying on the budgeting theme, Securing your child’s future (p 42) discusses potential routes to take to invest in your child’s education. In order to ensure financial security for the family, many mums following a few months of maternity leave have to return to work. This is a difficult period for many mums. How does one let go a bit, and how can you be assured your baby will be taken care off? (p 38) Another big challenge and change for mums following the birth of a child is the post-pregnancy body. You have had a baby and your body is not as it used to be.

Pregnancy while a beautiful experience has taken its toll.

How do you embrace your new curves and what is a realistic weight-loss plan? (p 30) Parenthood is one of the most exciting journeys one can embark on. The best part of it is being afforded the opportunity to watch them blossom into responsible and successful adults. It is not always an easy path, from potty training challenges (p 26), to tantrums (p 50) and the confusion of adolescence (p 46). Each parent and child will have different experiences, but it’s all a part of growing up.

While change seems daunting, it is a natural progression for parents and children alike. Parenthood is all about change – adapting your lifestyle to accommodate a growing family. For kids, change is a critical part of growing up. There might be some bumps in the road, but it nonetheless remains an exciting journey for all involved.

Best regards, Tashne

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FEATURE

Naturally does it

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Pic credit: Simona Balint

With caesareans being performed for 70-90% of births in private hospitals, South Africa has one of the highest rates of C-section delivery in the world. Have we forgotten how to push? We go back to basics and re-examine natural birth, getting answers from Jude Polack of active birthing hospital, Genesis Clinic, Gauteng’s only private hospital to be designated a motherand-babyfriendly maternity facility by the World Health Organisation and UNICEF.

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FEATURE What is natural birth?

“It might sound obvious, but I don’t think many moms-to-be understand what a natural birth really is,” says Jude Polack, natural birth activist and the founder and director of Genesis Clinic. “If you’re confined to your bed and strapped up to monitors for your entire labour, that’s not ‘natural’. Many hospitals also won’t let you eat or drink during labour, restrict your movement, don’t let you adopt the position that feels right for you, and limit the number of friends and family you can have in the room for support. This kind of environment breeds fear and feelings of isolation, which tends to make labour slower and more painful, with more medical intervention needed.

“The best natural birth, however, is an active one, where the mom follows her own instinctive responses and works with her body. She needs a secure, relaxing environment with good support and the freedom to move around. In an active birth, moms are encouraged to remain mobile and upright and to adopt whichever position they choose. They also eat and drink to strengthen themselves through labour.

“An active birth also lets mom labour at her own pace. Remember that the 1cm-per-hour dilation average is exactly that – an average; at least half of all women may progress more slowly.”

Who can opt for natural birth?

Polack points out that the World Health Organisation estimates that only 20% of women require C-sections to ensure the safe delivery of their babies. “If you’re healthy and are having an uncomplicated pregnancy, you are most likely a candidate for successful natural labour,” she says.

For further information please contact the Genesis Clinic on 011 646 3923/011 486 4632 or visit www.genesisclinic.co.za.

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The pros and cons of Pros for moms

Cons for moms

No surgical recovery time, immediate mobility after the birth, and a shorter hospital stay.

Possible perineal damage or tearing, which could require a stitch, or in severe cases, surgical repair.

Daily perineal massaging from week 34 can help prevent this.

No risk of wound infection, injury to internal organs, or complications from the anaesthetic or epidural.

Loss of vaginal and pelvic floor muscle tone can lead to urine leaks. Regular Kegel exercises after birth help restore these muscles.

A lower incidence of postnatal depression.

Labour in future pregnancies may be shorter.

Moms feel capable and empowered.

Pros for babies

Cons for babies

Four to six times less likely to suffer from respiratory distress syndrome or fluid in the lungs.

Risk of oxygen deprivation if the umbilical cord is constricted, or if there are other problems during labour and delivery. It is essential that someone trained in delivering babies is on hand during a natural birth to ensure that nothing goes wrong.

Better and quicker control of body temperature, breathing and heart rate, so there is less call for incubators and oxygen.

Possibility of physical trauma, such as bruising, from passing through the birth canal.

Quicker and more effective latching and feeding.

(Breastfeeding has a 75% higher success rate among babies born naturally than among those delivered by C-section.)

Oxytocin released during a natural birth facilitates bonding.

Less colic in the early months.

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FEATURE

Worried about

breastfeeding?

Breastfeeding can seem like a daunting task for a new mom, especially if those around her are eroding her confidence with their own negative experiences.

By Jude Polack, Fouander and Director of active birth hospital, Genesis Clinic.

So, you’ve decided you want to breastfeed your new bundle of joy. Apart from being a perfectly balanced meal for your babe (and super convenient into the bargain), you want her to have all the benefits of maternal antibodies and protection from a long list of illnesses and allergies. You’ve also heard it’s great to help you lose your preggie weight,

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plus who needs all those bottles to wash?

Despite your good intentions though, you might be worried that you won’t be able to breastfeed. You’ve heard other moms talking about breastfeeding, about why they stopped, or why they didn’t even try in the first place. And all that talk can damage a new mom’s self-confidence.

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FEATURE When new moms hear the reasons many women give for not breastfeeding, it’s easy for them to start thinking that women’s bodies routinely malfunction, and that being able to breastfeed is just a question of genetic luck ... “She’s got the right kind of boobs, lucky her”. This is also why, at the first sign of difficulty, many new moms give up prematurely, thinking that they too must be on the path to failure. On the contrary though, had she only persevered, mom and her baby would have reaped the many benefits – both physical and psychological – of breastfeeding.

More women are physically able to breastfeed than are not. Consider that in Bangladesh, 98% of moms breastfeed, while in Norway, 95% of moms breastfeed – these are good indications of women’s actual breastfeeding abilities.

The message is that if you have chosen to breastfeed your baby, you need to trust yourself and your body. Don’t let others’ often-misinformed reasons for not breastfeeding derail the vision you have for yourself and your baby.

Here are some of the reasons new moms give me for why they aren’t breastfeeding, and why these reasons shouldn’t put you off:

“I don’t produce enough milk.

My baby is always hungry.”

This is probably the number one reason I hear, especially in the first weeks after delivery, yet the vast majority of women will produce enough milk to nourish their babies if they follow good breastfeeding practice.

Moms often think they don’t have enough milk if their babies suddenly start fussing more than usual, or feeding more frequently, or popping off the breast sooner. Another red herring is the breast pump. After a mom has only managed to pump a few millilitres, who can blame her for concluding that she has no milk supply, when in reality she likely has an abundant supply? That’s because there’s nothing like a real baby to stimulate milk letdown.

Remember that breastfeeding is a supply-anddemand equation. Demand feed your baby, and your body will up production. Skip a feed or two every day and your body will respond by reducing supply.

Your baby doesn’t understand your schedule, so put aside your need for control and order, and let your baby decide the schedule. Babies want to feed when they’re hungry, not when you or some babyraising book say it’s mealtime.

If your baby is gaining weight, seems reasonably content, is alert, and produces five or more wet nappies and two to five poo nappies a day from day four, put your worries about milk supply out of your mind.

“It’s just too painful.”

Be warned when you first start breastfeeding, it can feel like your baby’s got a mouth full of barbed wire.

La Leche League says that 80-90% of breastfeeding moms will experience nipple pain, and 26% will get cracked, extremely sore nipples. Even moms who

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More women are physically able to breastfeed than not. have breastfed before can be shocked to discover that breastfeeding the second time around is painful at the beginning.

There are many causes of this, and most of them, like poor latching, are simple to fix. With a little time, good nipple care, and the guidance of a lactation consultant, breastfeeding will stop being painful. But don’t wait to ask for help; sore nipples today can very quickly escalate to unbearable levels.

“I got mastitis.”

Mastitis is the inflammation of a mammary gland, which presents with flu-like symptoms and a sore, area on your breast. While painful, mastitis doesn’t mean the end of breastfeeding. On the contrary, feeding more to empty the milk ducts is part of the cure (mastitis doesn’t make the milk unsafe for your baby). Lactation-safe drugs like paracetamol and ibuprofen will ease the pain, as will ice packs. Consult a doctor if your symptoms persist, since you may need a lactation-safe antibiotic.

“I can’t get it right, so I’m obviously not cut out for breastfeeding.”

Few moms get the hang of breastfeeding instantly.

Breastfeeding might be natural, but it doesn’t always come naturally. The majority of new moms need help, support and, most of all, practice. And babies don’t make it any easier. While newborns have a powerful instinct to breastfeed, they too have to get the hang of latching and sucking.

In the first weeks, breastfeeding can be difficult and you might feel like you’re a failure; you’re not. You’re just on the learning curve of breastfeeding; that fourto-six-week period when you’re both trying to master a new skill.

To help you and baby get up to speed quickly, begin breastfeeding within an hour after birth, keep separation from your baby to a minimum, feed your baby on demand, and avoid dummies and bottles.

“I have to go back to work soon, so what’s the point?”

Returning to work is a very real barrier to breastfeeding. If you have to return to work a few months after your baby is born, find out whether you’ll be able to express at work. If expressing isn’t an option, this doesn’t mean you shouldn’t consider breastfeeding at all. Any amount of breastfeeding, even if only for a short period, is a gift for your babe.

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FEATURE

Baby on

budget

It’s a well-known fact that having a baby is an expensive endeavour. There are doctor’s appointments, diapers, formula, clothes, strollers, car seats… the list is endless. But, how can new parents do this on budget 16

You are about to have a baby and the excitement is overwhelming. As any new parent, you feel that buying everything at once somehow prepares you for this amazing journey you are about to embark on.

But, stop for a moment and ask yourself, do you really need to buy everything at once?

Shop smart • Don’t buy everything at once: An example would be that you don’t need a high-chair just yet, nor do you need an array of toys as your www.babysandbeyond.co.za

FEATURE newborn is unlikely to take note just yet.

• Buy in bulk: Buying diapers in bulk is more cost effective. Also buying goods on promotion, such as a two for one is a great idea as you will need it in the future.

• Gadgets and gizmos: Now while many of us like to have the latest gadgets, unless there is some sort of great safety feature, it is not needed.

Safety items such as car seats and cribs with updated safety features are a good investment.

• Nursery: While designing a nursery prior to the birth of your child is great fun, it is an unnecessary expense if you are trying to save money. Does your newborn really need an entire cupboard? And while it is nice to have a diaper changing station, parents can just as easily change their child’s diaper on a bed.

• Clothing: Don’t bother with designer labels – chances are that your child will outgrow them in a couple of months. Make sure to purchase the essentials such as vests and one-pieces.

Baby shoes, while super cute are luxury – your newborn won’t be walking for several months so socks will suffice.

• Breast pumps: Long gone are the days when mums have to be around their babies 24/7. Many mums have to go back to work, have an urgent errand to run and so forth. Breast pumps afford mums the luxury of being able to get things done without a baby in tow – or gives dads the opportunity to participate in feeding time.

Mums have two options – manual or electric.

The manual is generally more cost effective, but ultimately this boils down to preference.

DIY • •

If you are able to nurse, breast is best for your budget as it is a tremendous cost saving on formula.

When your baby starts to grow and it is time to introduce solids, make your own baby

•

food using fruits and veggies found in the home. Invest in a small food processor as this is cheaper than buying baby food purchased from a store. You can also freeze leftovers so it doesn’t spoil.

Now while towelling nappies seem like something from a bygone era, they remain a lot more cost effective than diapers.

Brand conscious The baby market is highly lucrative and as such baby items such as toys, strollers, clothes, formula, bottles etc. are all branded. It’s important for parents to note that the most expensive brands are not necessarily the best brand or a superior brand.

Re-use and recycle Hand-me-downs are a great way to save. Speak to your family and friends and see if they have any items that their kids have outgrown such as clothes, shoes, highchairs, toys, baby baths etc.

Top five budgeting tips • Go to the store with a prepared list – this will prevent you from buying unnecessary goods.

• Ask around – your friends and family who are already parents are a fountain of information. They will provide guidance on what purchases are essential.

• Buy in bulk – those two for one offers only come around once in a while and you will be using them for months if not years.

• Only buy new if there’s a safety issue involved such as car seats and cribs.

• Hand-me-downs are great! Children outgrow clothes very soon so recycling is the way forward.

Pic credit: www.sxc.hu

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Health

Mental health – a silent crisis

There are many mental health challenges in South Africa including the stigma still attached to the illness, the lack of access to mental health facilities and, most importantly, a lack of understanding.

By Denise Robinson

Mental illness in South Africa is considered a significant contributor to Non-Communicable Diseases (NCD) and is one of the main burdens of disease which include HIV/AIDS, TB and maternal and child health.

Research also shows that one out of five people will suffer from a mental condition at some point in their lives. Furthermore, there is a distinct lack of information available about mental illness, which means that is misunderstood in our communities.

In South Africa mental illnesses such as depression, anxiety, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder and substance use are often excused as bad behaviour or poor lifestyle choices. Because the signs are not easily recognised by people, these illnesses are seldom treated.

Some mentally ill persons are ignored in communities, left to scavenge for food, treated with disdain and distrust, and subject to all forms of abuse.

The ramifications of untreated mental health are enormous. There is a link between mental illness and socio-economic factors such as high levels of poverty, unemployment, violence, substance abuse etc.

• Employed persons, who are untreated for mental illnesses such as depression, psychosis and anxiety tend to be away from work for prolonged periods of time – the amount of man hours lost is a costly burden on businesses/organisations.

• Parents with psychological problems are sometimes unable to adequately care for their children adequately.

• Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS), caused by expectant mothers who persist in consuming large quantities of alcohol whilst pregnant, has resulted in some children being brain damaged. (4-8% of Grade 1 learners in 2003 were diagnosed with FAS.) Efforts were made by the government to deinstitutionalise mental healthcare and transfer the bulk of this responsibility to the Primary Health Care (PHC) sector. The challenge that rose with regards to this action was that Primary Health Care facilities were, and remain largely, ill-equipped to deal with mental illness.

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Parents with psychological problems are sometimes unable to adequately care for their children adequately.

In addition, the shortage of mental health staff is a major problem. According to the Minister of Health, Dr Aaron Motsoaledi, ratios in the public sector – especially for psychiatrists – are lower than the world average and substantially lower than the middle income country median.

The ratios are as follows:

Geographical region

Psychiatrists

Psychologists

South Africa (public sector)

0.28

0.32

Middle income country median

2.03

1.8

World

1.27

0.33

The shortage of mental health staff also impacts on the implementation of legislation such as the Child Justice Act. The Child Justice Act allows for children who have committed criminal acts to be assessed by mental healthcare professionals.

Mental illness is a silent crisis affecting our nation.

It’s true that not all mental illnesses can be “cured”, but with sufficient resource mental conditions can be managed to allow for mentally ill persons to be fully integrated in society.

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Dad’s diary

Beauty and the

beasts Celebrating the beauty of all women – here is a man’s take on it.

By Craig Wilkinson, author of “DAD – The Power and Beauty of Authentic Fatherhood” The feminine soul is one of the greatest treasures of the universe. Its beauty has no equal. Yet like all treasures of great value it has enemies. Two beasts in particular attack the heart of a woman’s beauty and femininity; the first is the lie that popular media perpetrates about her beauty and the second is the wound to her feminine soul that the men in her life inflict on her, at times unknowingly, at times deliberately.

The lie is that the only real beauty a woman has to offer is the way she looks and therefore only a few lucky women are gifted with beauty. In our highly eroticised world where the body of a woman is idolised and her mind and soul devalued, women grow up believing that the only beauty worth having is what they can present in a bikini or wrap in a skirt.

With this lie as the premise of their understanding of beauty few women feel they have true beauty.

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How can they live up to the photo shopped images of perfection on daily display in multiple forms of media? And so they live with a secret sense of inadequacy, doing whatever they can to make themselves beautiful but inwardly sensing that they will never quite make the grade.

The truth is that the beauty of a woman is far deeper than skin and every women has a beauty to offer. The core of a woman’s beauty is her feminine soul and the way she looks is just one expression of this beauty. When all the attention is placed on a woman’s physical looks her inner beauty is devalued and will begin to shrink and hide, feeling it is of no consequence. A woman was never meant to be loved purely for her external beauty, she was meant to be loved for all of who she is, and if the inner and outer get separated a great union is lost and the body and soul become strangers or even worse, www.babysandbeyond.co.za

Dad’s diary enemies. The interplay between a woman’s inner and outer beauty should be a dance of love, the one an expression of the other. The most radiant a woman can be is when her heart and soul are loved and the full beauty of her feminine soul is expressed in her eyes and demeanour and the way she presents herself to the world. That is true beauty.

The second beast is the wound inflicted on a woman’s soul by men. Not all men are guilty of wounding and not all women have been wounded by a man, but enough have to name it as a major assault on the heart and soul of women. The most powerful man in a young girl’s life and therefore the one in a position to cause her the most harm is her father. From this incredibly privileged position a father needs to love, nurture, validate, affirm and protect his daughter, leaving her in no doubt that she is and has beauty of great value. He needs to demonstrate to her the value of femininity by his actions and attitudes to her mother and other women.

Because of his importance in his daughter’s life a father merely has to fail to do these things to wound her feminine soul. Far greater wounding is inflicted if she is abused in any way, physically, sexually or verbally. For any man to abuse a woman is a despicable violation and for a father it is the vilest possible betrayal. When a young woman is assaulted by the beast of masculine abuse, either through passive neglect or active abuse, she grows up with a deep wound to her feminine soul. And this wound negatively affects the way she sees herself and lives her life. She may be blind to her own feminine beauty and live apart from it, sometimes assaulting it further by failing to nurture it or even actively sabotaging it. She may fail to value her femininity, seeing it only as a tool to be used for getting love. She may spend her life constantly feeling unlovely, striving to make herself pretty and attractive but seldom ever feeling she quite gets it right.

When a woman doesn’t believe that she has beauty she loses touch with it, failing to nurture it and unwittingly allowing it to shut down. When a woman believes that her looks are all she has to gain a man’s affection she detaches her physical beauty from her inner beauty and some of the essence of her soul is forced into hiding, feeling lonely and unvalued even while attention is lavished on her. Many a woman

But the soul of a woman is an altogether different proposition.

It is a place of mystery and beauty and it takes a courageous man to enter in.

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... a father needs to love, nurture, validate, affirm and protect his daughter, leaving her in no doubt that she is and has beauty of great value. retreats into a life of functional service; hiding her feminine soul in a shell of competence, allowing society’s written roles for women to bury her feminine essence under a pile of duties and chores. She becomes a mother, employee, wife, boss; doing the things that her role dictates but ignoring the passionate cries of her feminine soul. She forfeits her beauty for duty.

Any true man will do everything he can to rescue and protect women from the assault of the twin beasts. Sadly many men are caught up in battles of their own and unwittingly confirm the lies and deepen the wound. Men are often unconsciously scared of the heart and soul of a woman. It is far easier to focus on her looks which can be assessed and criticised, touched and made love to. But the soul of a woman is an altogether different proposition. It is a place of mystery and beauty and it takes a courageous man to enter in. Its depth and intuition is a place where the fears and insecurities of a man can easily be uncovered. And so men avoid venturing into the soul of a woman for fear of what might be exposed in them, not realising that the unwrapping of their masculine soul in the nurturing depths of the female soul is a far greater gift than mere physical intimacy can offer. It is so much easier to strip off our clothes and leap into bed with a women’s body than strip off our fears, pride and need to control and leap naked into the beauty of a woman’s soul.

In spite of the best efforts of the beasts Eve still stands. More than stands, she shines. She continues to love, and give, and nurture and heal; she inspires and creates and gives to our world a beauty and magic that we could not survive without. How much more brightly would she shine if men who have been the beasts become the protectors and defenders they were made to be. Every woman is beautiful.

Sadly not every woman knows that she is. As men we need to wage war against the lies that keep women blinded to their beauty and we need to lay our lives on the line to stop the abuse of the magnificent gift the feminine soul is to the world. We have the power.

We have the choice. Only when we stand up and become real men and real dads will our daughters, our wives, our sisters, our mothers, our lovers, our friends, our companions, our colleagues, be free to be all they were made to be. Beautiful. And free. www.babysandbeyond.co.za

Health

Understanding

nappy rash

Nappy rash is a common affliction that affects the buttocks, genitals and thighs of babies. While it can be discomforting for the baby and cause them to be irritable, it is seldom serious and only lasts a few days.

Nappy rash can be caused by numerous factors including: • Babies being left with dirty diapers for prolonged periods of time.

• Inadequate drying of the baby’s skin after a bath or a change.

• Allergies to soaps or lotions or washing powders used to launder nappies.

• Thrush, a yeast infection.

• Atopic dermatitis, psoriasis and seborrhoeic dermatitis.

It is fairly easy to spot a nappy rash. Some of the symptoms of nappy rash include the following: • Reddish or raw skin on the buttocks, thighs and genitals.

• Slight bleeding of the affected areas.

• A strong chemical-like smell.

• An inflamed penis.

• Rashes or pimples, which is indicative of a fungal nappy rash.

To treat a nappy rash, do the following: • Change your baby’s nappies frequently. Your baby’s skin needs to stay dry to heal.

• Allow for some airing so leave your child without a nappy for a bit.

• Use mild products on your baby.

• Apply an appropriate protective cream after a diaper change that is not harsh on your baby’s skin.

• For more serious cases use a nappy rash cream as per recommendation by the doctor.

FEATURE

Cot-death,

an unexplainable tragedy

Sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) or cot death is a tragedy that remains unexplainable. The effects of a seemingly healthy baby, lost suddenly can a devastating effect on families.

Sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS), alternatively known as cot death, is a tragic occurrence that is characterised when a healthy baby dies for no specific reason. Cot death, while rare, affects babies from one week to a year. Under-weight or premature infants are at greater risk, as are infants whose mothers smoked during pregnancy.

The cause of cot death remains unknown, however according to recent reports a study that looked into the deaths of 71 infants who died from cot death revealed a link between the condition and brainstem abnormalities such as impaired breathing. The study found that babies who died of cot deaths suffered from abnormalities like heart rate and blood control problems. According to reports, Dr. Hannah Kinney, lead author of the study, said: “Even the infants dying in unsafe sleep environments had an underlying brainstem abnormality that likely made them vulnerable to sudden death if there was any degree of asphyxia.

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But, while much research has been undertaken to understand the underlying causes of cot death, and a multitude of theories have been investigated, medical professionals remain baffled as to the cause/s.

Steps to take to help prevent cot deaths • Infants should not be allowed to sleep face down.

• Ensure that there are no coverings on your child’s head.

• Avoid overheating or wrapping your child too tightly.

• Make certain your child is not exposed to smoke – during pregnancy and after birth.

• Mums and dads should sleep in the same room as infants to monitor your child easier.

The effects of cot death The reaction of parents who have lost a child to cot death varies. Reactions can manifest in many ways such as suppression, when parents refuse to properly accept the death as a coping mechanism; guilt, when parents believe that the death of their child is somehow their fault; grief; depression; and hallucinations, when parents start hearing their baby cry etc.

Many parents who have went through this tragic experience say that the first few weeks following their baby’s death is like going through life in a haze. This is understandable due to the shock and suddenness of the death.

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FEATURE

Ditching the

diapers Your baby is growing up and a critical part of that process is to start potty training. For some parents it’s a breeze, but for others it is considered a Herculean task. So what is the secret to success?

Patience – lots of it...

Step 1: Is it time?

The first thing for a parent to do is ascertain if it is time.

There is no specific age for potty training although most parents start thinking about potty training from 18-24 months. The most important part of starting potty training is to be aware that if your child is not ready, parents won’t be able to force them. Here are some signs that your child could be ready to take the plunge: • • • • •

They know when their diaper is dirty.

They complain about a dirty diaper.

They are able to tell you when they are urinating.

They are able to pull up or down their pants.

They seem interested in the toilet or wearing underwear.

Step 2: Get equipped Purchase a training potty and place it in the bathroom. You also need to help your child understand the function of a potty – it is a good idea to let your child see how family members use a toilet.

Another purchase is pull-ups. Pull-ups are great for times when accidents occur.

Step 3: Stay on schedule Start a routine – take note of times when your child is most likely to urinate. It can when they wake up, after breakfast, after lunch, before a bath and so forth. Sometimes a child might be frightened of the potty, but do not despair – try again in a week or so.

Parents can also make potty time fun by introducing a special toy or having a special song etc.

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Step 4: Be encouraging Even if your child is not doing anything on the potty be sure to offer praise. It is also important to handle accidents gracefully. Accidents will occur from time to time – be positive and encouraging. Showing frustration or anger can cause your child to regress.

Parents could also try incentives such as a trip to the park or a bedtime story for a successful potty trip.

Step 5: Night training You are almost there!

Night training is quite tricky – it can take months or even years. You can purchase a waterproof pad to place on your child’s mattress if your child is out of diapers. Alternatively, stick with the pull-ups first and see if taking your child to the potty before bed works.

The most important tip for any parent is not to lose hope. This process might seem endless, but sooner or later your child will realise that it is better to use a potty than to stay in diapers. www.babysandbeyond.co.za

Health

Battling the

“baby blues”

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Health

Contrary to popular belief, bonding with your baby immediately after birth is not necessarily instantaneous. For many mums as they get to know and care for their babies, bonds develop.

Having a baby is one of the most life-changing moments for a woman. The excitement at finally meeting your new little one is an experience that many new mums look forward to. However, the truth of the matter is that sometimes it can also be the most difficult time in a woman’s life.

Following the birth of a baby it can be quite overwhelming for a new mum. Reality hits hard when you realise that it’s no longer just you that you have to take care off, but you are now responsible for a helpless little one – 24 hours a day.

It is important for new mums to know that they are not alone. Even mums who are having their second or third or even fourth child can experience myriad of emotions – not all positive.

It is estimated that up to a staggering 80% of new mums have the “baby blues” following the birth of a child. The “baby blues” results in mums feeling anxious, tired, moody and tearful. This is perfectly normal and should last a week or two.

However, if symptoms persist and are getting worse, there is a likelihood a woman is suffering from postnatal depression (PND).

exacerbated by harsh realities such as not having a support structure; having money worries; your baby being unwell and so forth. It is estimated that between 10-30% of all mothers suffer from this.

What are the symptoms of PND?

It is important for mums to confide in their doctor and discuss the best treatment options. Mums can choose to take medication, go for psychotherapy or be part of a support group. In addition to this mums should do the following:

The signs and symptoms vary for every mum, but below are a few ways to spot the signs: • • • • • • • • •

Feeling sad or low; Inability to enjoy anything; Extreme bouts of lethargy and fatigue; Feelings of hopelessness/inadequateness and a sense of guilt; A lack of appetite; Feeling angry and moody Crying all the time; Feeling dislike towards your baby or a sense of guilt that you don’t feel towards your baby as you should; and Feeling anxious all the time.

Most mums experience these feelings from time to time – it is just normal ups and downs. However, if mums feel these symptoms more often than not, chances are that they are suffering from PND.

What triggers PND? Medical experts do not have a concrete answer as to why certain mums experience PND but other do not. Of cause there is biological reasoning such as hormonal changes, but sometimes PND is www.babysandbeyond.co.za

Postnatal psychosis An extreme form of postnatal depression is known as postnatal psychosis. It is rare, and is characterised by a mum being a potential danger to themselves and their child. This form of depression requires hospitalisation.

Suffering in silence Many mums don’t speak of PND because they experience feelings of shame or guilt. It somehow makes them feel that they are unnatural as they believe they are not as happy as society expects them to be following the birth of a child. PND is also not well-understood in society where friends and family tend to lecture mums to “get a grip”.

Get help

• Try to sleep/rest whenever possible – get in a babysitter if you must or let dad have a go at bonding time; • Have a well-balanced diet to regulate blood sugar levels; • Exercise – the release of endorphins will help you feel better; and • Go easy on yourself – while you might be overwhelmed by taking a baby, it is critical that you take care of yourself both in body and mind.

The Post-natal Depression Support Association of South Africa (PNDSA) can also help. Contact them on 021 797 4498 or email info@pndsa.co.za.

Having a baby is a different experience for every mum. While many gush about their excitement and joy, not many mums are willing to talk about the feelings of anxiety and pressure. It is normal to feel helpless at times, but if these feelings become too much don’t feel ashamed to seek help – you are not alone.

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Feature

Mums and tums

Concerned about shedding the weight after birth.

By Natasha Butler You’ve experienced the beauty of pregnancy and childbirth, bonded with your baby, and can still hardly believe that your life has been so drastically changed. Although the experience has been an amazing one, the fact that your body is not as it used to be is a worry for you and you want to do something about it.

Be realistic Keep perspective. Remember that your body has nurtured a life for nine months and gone through the immense strain of childbirth, and it needs time to heal. After birth your body is changed: your tummy muscles will not be as firm, your hips and waistline will be a bit wider, your breasts larger. This is natural, so give yourself a break and don’t be too critical.

After birth your body needs time to repair itself.

So check with your doctor before starting any exercise programme or new diet. Your body might only be ready for exercise six weeks after giving birth, and it’s advisable to wait eight weeks if you’re breastfeeding.

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Sleep Sleep is important. Sleep deprivation will make you irritable and leads to exhaustion which will leave you with no energy for exercise. Also, it raises the stress levels in your body which can make you want to eat unhealthy foods when you’re not really all that hungry.

We know that your sleeping patterns will be erratic because you’ve got a new baby, but try to at least get a three-hour stretch of uninterrupted sleep a night.

Water Drink plenty of water. This is not only important for hydration, but also aids your body in producing milk.

Water also curbs cravings: sometimes when you think you have a craving for something to eat, your body just needs water.

Water also helps with excess bloating.

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FEATURE

Diet Dos Implementing a healthy eating plan with exercise is the best way to lose weight and also aids in body repair.

• Go for a healthy balanced diet that includes all the food groups your body needs.

• Include lean protein; foods rich in fibre; fresh fruit and vegetables; whole grains and low fat diary.

• Get rid of the bad carbs in the cupboard such as biscuits, chocolates, chips and sweets, etc.

• Keep healthier snacks handy, such as fruit, nuts and yoghurt.

• Opt for low fat or fat free products and grill or bake foods instead of frying.

• Watch your sugar levels; fruit juices are highly concentrated so dilute it with water.

• Instead of eating large meals, opt for smaller portions more frequently with healthy snacking.

This will help to keep your blood sugar levels stable and you’ll feel less likely to reach for an unhealthy snack.

Dos and dont’s • Do join a support group. Other mothers know what you’re going through and may be able to help with advice, a sympathetic ear and keep you motivated.

• Don’t judge yourself by the scale. This will only demotivate you if you feel that you’re not losing weight as fast as you think you should.

nine tips for exercise 1

Don’t lose too much weight too quickly.

You need to keep your body healthy to produce breast milk for your baby.

Exercise at a pace that’s comfortable for you. Don’t push yourself too hard.

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Breastfeeding burns calories. You can burn up to 800 calories per day while breastfeeding. And this is a way to lose weight without even lifting a finger.

But remember that, as soon as you stop, you’ll need another way to burn calories if you want to continue losing weight. You’re more likely to keep off the weight if you lose it gradually; and this will also be healthier if you’re breastfeeding.

Incorporate cardio, weights and stretching into your exercise routine.

Break exercising up into smaller chunks, e.g., if you’re aiming for 30 minutes a day, you could break it up into ten-minute chunks throughout the day. This will also help you to stay more focused and not look at exercising as a chore.

If you experience bleeding or any other type of discomfort stop exercising immediately and consult your doctor.

Don’t start off with strenuous exercise.

Leisurely walking is good for a start and gets the blood flowing. You can later up the pace to brisk walking. And it will be easier if you can take your baby with you, pushing the baby’s pram for a walk around the block.

Doing exercises with weights will not only help you lose weight, but tone your muscles too.

You can also do yoga for stretching and meditation and water aerobics as a less strenuous exercise.

Joining an exercise class in your area for women who have just given birth is also an option if you have the time.

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Breastfeeding

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Dad’s Diary

Dad shares

and death-ray glares

Craig Wilkinson, the author of “DAD – The Power and Beauty of Authentic Fatherhood” speaks about parenting a 17 year old daughter.

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Dad’s Diary My heart sank as I read her Facebook post. Just when I thought I’d dodged this dad shaped bullet her words haul me firmly back into the firing line. “It would make my life” she wrote. She wanted to go really badly and wasn’t going to let any “sold out” sign get in her way of her finding a ticket. Now a showdown I was really hoping to avoid was looming. She’s seventeen and I’m her dad and the ticket in question was to a twonight music festival known for its drunken revelry and generally wild behaviour. It was the kind of event we used to love to go to when we were much younger.

But now that our daughters are almost at the age we used to be when we did, such gatherings have degenerated into the devil’s playground and the breeding ground of all known evil.

To make matters worse I was kind of guilty of getting myself into this spot in the first place. When she first told me about the concert I was let off the hook by the fact that there were no tickets. Whew I didn’t have to make the tough call; the laws of supply and demand had done it for me! I even managed to refrain from spontaneous expressions of joy and feign a little sadness for her lost opportunity.

But now she wasn’t playing fair and my avoidance of a few weeks prior was coming back to bite me.

Sure enough the moment of truth came. She found a ticket. Dad I’m sooo excited! Strangely I’m not.

This is one of those no win situations for a dad. How do you say no to your precious daughter when “all her friends are going”, when it’s something she has been looking forward to “all her life” (teenage girls invented hyperbole!). But how can you agree to something you really don’t believe is right for her.

And the difference to peace-in-the-home between a yes and a no is stark. Say yes and you’re the super cool dad everyone wishes they had. Say no and you become a strict monster dad quicker than an angry Hulk turns green and supersizes.

So I start the dreaded dialogue, which plunges my dad shares into free fall and transforms my daughter’s sunny disposition into what I imagine Darth Vader would look like without the mask. The conversation is not fun and all my dad points seem so lame. Don’t you trust me? Ouch. Yes my precious I do trust you it’s the other people going that I don’t trust. But all my friends are going! Just because most people do something doesn’t mean it’s right. What’s the big deal dad? Well...

This is not easy stuff. I want her to be happy. I delight in her happiness, and I love to see her thriving.

There is very little I wouldn’t do to give her all her heart desires. And I want her to like me. I much prefer pleasant banter in the car on the way to school than stony silence and death ray glares. I really do.

But there is much more at stake here. Although it’s probably not quite the seething-mass-of-drunkenhooligans-chanting-satanic-slogans-in-a-lust-crazedstupor-with-enough-steaming-vials-of-rohypnol-tosterilise-a-herd-of-wild-horses that it may seem to my overly protective dad mind; it is still an unsupervised two-day party where alcohol will flow liberally, boys will be boys, no doubt some drugs will be on offer and where my daughter would be exposed to the kind of stuff that I do not want her to experience quite yet.

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The situation is not made any easier by my son’s poignant observation that strict dads make sneaky kids. Thanks my boy!

Setting appropriate boundaries is one of the most difficult things to do as a dad. But in a world where the average song contains more squawking birds and buzzing bees than an entire forest did when we were growing up it is also one of the most important things to do. We need to fight for our daughters. We need to equip them with the skills and awareness to handle what life will throw at them and release them into the world at a pace which matches their readiness to deal with it.

The truth is I do trust my daughter. Completely. She is a sensible, grounded and mature young lady. But I never want her to be in a situation where she is in danger or compromised in any way. The time will come, sooner than perhaps I would like, when she will have to face the many challenges and subtle and not-so-subtle dangers that life never fails to dish up.

But when she does I want her to be ready and I will do everything I can to make sure she is. She matters, her life matters; she is of great value and profound importance to me, and it’s my job as her father to love, nurture, provide, protect, teach and equip her for life.

Setting appropriate boundaries is one of the most difficult things to do as a dad.

It’s a few weeks since the showdown and Darth Vader has slowly made way to sweet seventeen.

Conversation has evolved from malevolent silence and monotone one-worders to almost full sentences and though she doesn’t quite laugh at my jokes yet she does smile. My dad shares haven’t reached their previous high but as any good investor knows you have to take a long term view and the life I’m investing in is worth more than anything Wall Street could ever offer. I’m not here to be popular; I’m here to be dad. And dad I will be. To the most precious young woman in the world.

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FEATURE

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FEATURE

Growing

up!

Some parents start to panic if their friend’s or cousin’s child is talking or walking sooner than their child.

However, parents must be aware that childhood development stages differ. The types of behaviours exhibited and grasping new experiences differs from child to child. Here are some generic guidelines on developmental stages of children.

0-6 months The main way that babies communicate at this stage is by crying to alert you if they are unhappy. It could mean have wind, are hungry, sleepy etc. But, it’s not just tears that a parents will experience here – be sure to be on the lookout for a smile from your baby.

6-18 months During this stage, your child starts becoming curious about their surroundings and feel the need to explore by tasting, touching and looking. Language skills also start developing and it is here that parents wait for the touching “mama” and “dada”.

It is also at this stage where children start showing initiative like wanting to feed themselves. It is at this stage that some battles might arise. They might become fussy when they are not given what they want when they want and resort to throwing tantrums.

At this stage, children tend to focus on the primary caregiver who is responsible for all their needs.

18 months to 3 years This is the thinking stage. They also understand the cause and effect of doing things – they test behaviours by being able to do things but refusing to follow commands. Language skills start to improve and they generally want to get more involved with actions such as dressing up and eating. This stage is also characterised by social interaction where they play alongside children rather than with them.

3 to 6 years Children start becoming aware of themselves and start asserting their own identity. They are also learning that certain behaviours have an effect on others. They start to learn what is and is not socially acceptable. This can be a bit of a trying time for parents as children push to test the boundaries.

At this stage children also start to enjoy using their imagination. www.babysandbeyond.co.za

While having a newborn is an exciting experience, the best is yet to come – watching your child blossom as they learn and experience their surroundings.

6-12 years During this stage, it is critical that children learn about boundaries. They become aware of different boundaries – such as certain rules apply at school, but not at home etc. Children also start to identify with their own gender – suddenly Emma prefers playing with Anna rather than Joshua. Children will begin at this stage to learn about personal responsibility and self-control.

Teenagers This is a difficult transition period for both children and parents alike. For children, it is a flurry of emotional changes in addition to physical changes. It is during the teen years that adolescence takes place where children are trying to become more independent and start questioning parents and other people’s opinions. Adolescence is also a stage where a lot of experimentation occurs, so don’t be too shocked when your child suddenly wants to have blue hair as they are trying to “find themselves”.

Note the milestones There are four basic categories for developmental milestones: 1. Physical: This involves motor skills such as sitting-up, standing up, crawling and eventually walking. Children also learn fine motor skills such as grasping objects, holding objects, drawing and picking up objects.

2. Cognitive: This focuses on a child’s ability to think, learn and solve problems.

3. Social/emotional interaction: Children learn how to understand their own as well as others’ emotions. They also learn how to interact with other and start playing with other children.

4. Communication: Verbal and non-verbal communication are milestones from a baby’s first word to them learning more till they can formulate proper grammatical sentences.

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FEATURE

Prepping

mum and baby

for crèche

You’ve been at home on maternity leave taking care of your new baby and can’t imagine not being there to see to his/her every need.

But no matter how much you might want to, you can’t stay home indefinitely. It’s time to let go and return to work.

By Natasha Butler

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FEATURE You’ll fight against the idea of putting your child in crèche because you’ll worry whether your child will cope without you. And you’ll doubt that another person can take care of your child as well as you do.

To ensure that you’re making the right choice, selecting a good day care is important. Do your research to see what options you have. Opt for a place that will best suit you in terms of location, working hours, budget, as well as your little one in providing for his/her needs.

When choosing a crèche, keep the following in mind: • Is the caregiver competent, qualified and experienced enough to look after your child? Also familiarise yourself with the caregiver’s ideas on raising a child.

• Does the caregiver have enough time to give your child proper individual attention?

• Do you trust the caregiver enough to leave your child in her care?

• Is the crèche a safe environment: is there sufficient adult supervision; are the toys safe and not a choking hazard; are there smoke detectors and proper emergency exits; do they have appropriate first-aid; are the caregivers trained to deal with emergencies?

• Do they employ proper standards of hygiene such as washing their and the children’s hands and keeping all areas clean and tidy?

• Is there a suitable play area?

• Are there sufficient and appropriate books and toys and are the activities diverse enough for your child’s personal development?

• Are there other children in your child’s the same age group?

• Are the meals provided sufficient and wholesome?

• Consider a location close to your home or work.

• Get recommendations and testimonials from other parents about the crèche you’re considering.

How to let go Your baby will most probably cry as you leave him/ her at crèche which will make it even harder for you.

Here are a few tips to help both you and your baby cope with the change.

• Meet with the caregiver and let your child spend time with her while you’re there so your little one can get used to this new person.

• You need to show that you like the caregiver which will indicate to your child that the caregiver is a person that he/she can trust.

• Be positive, as your baby will be able to sense any anxiety you’re feeling which will make him/her feel insecure.

• Before starting with crèche, accustom your child to be looked after by others such as relatives so that it’s not such a shock when you’re not around.

• Take your child to play groups to help develop independence so that he/she can get used to other children in a social setting. www.babysandbeyond.co.za

• For the first few days spend some time at the crèche with your child so that he/she can adjust to the new environment and not feel totally abandoned when you need to leave.

Do: • Have a comfort item like a toy or blanket to soothe your baby when he/she starts to feel upset.

• Stick to a schedule; make drop-off and pick-up times routine.

• Explain to your child what is happening, e.g., you have to go to work but he/she will stay at crèche where they will read a story, have play time, a nap and then you’ll be back to fetch him/her.

Don’t: • Have a long drawn-out goodbye. This will only make it harder for both of you.

• Sneak out without telling your baby goodbye as he/she will be distressed and think that you’re not coming back.

• Rush back to comfort your baby when he/ she cries, your child needs to get used to the caregiver taking care of her.

How to cope yourself It’s natural not to want to let go and you may need some comfort yourself! Keep pictures of your child on hand to make you feel better if you start feeling teary.

Yes, it’s hard but remember that it will only be a few hours until you see your child again. Don’t get too stressed with leaving your baby at the day care; some children take longer than others to adapt to a new situation.

If you feel that going back to work is all too sudden, arrange for a shorter work day until you and your baby are better adjusted.

Get support: talking to someone who’s had the same experience can help, as this person will understand what you’re going through.

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Feature

Securing your

child’s future

In today’s fast-paced and innovative world, education is a key.

South Africa has a staggering unemployment rate of approximately 34% (using the expanded definition), which means that having an education has become a more critical component than ever for securing employment to enable a good standard of living. But, the reality is that higher education comes with a hefty price tag. So what are some avenues parents can look at to fund higher education opportunities for their children? at an exponential rate from R441 million in 1999 to just over R9 billion in 2014. Due to funding shortages approximately one out of two students, who qualify for NSFAS will not receive it – this means that 50% of students eligible for entrance to universities and colleges will be denied access to higher education.

For more information, and eligibility for NSFAS, please visit the website: www.nsfas.org.za.

Scrimp and save

National Student Financial Aid Scheme (NSFAS) There have been some positive strides made with regard to assisting high school leavers with regard to financial assistance for higher education. This is in the form of the National Student Financial Aid Scheme (NSFAS), the South African government student loan and bursary scheme that offers assistance to students whose parents are unable to fund higher education.

Now while this is a positive step by government, the truth of the matter is that funding remains a challenge even though NSFAS funding has grown

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Many parents, from middle to higher-income homes, struggle to cope with university fees, so what about parents with lower-income pay brackets? A university education in 2014 can cost up to R80 000 (residence included) per annum – and there is a great likelihood that this figure will only continue to increase.

Now if your child is still fairly young, this is an opportune time to start saving. It does need to be large chunks of cash – put aside what you can afford to. Visit various banks to discuss what sort of investment policies they have available, and calculate which has the best interest rate. Also consult with other financial institutions, converse with insurance brokers and find the best plan to suit your budget and your child’s needs.

It is also a great idea to start teaching your children about saving when they are young – this will help them be more financially responsible in the future.

Life insurance Life is unpredictable, and you never know what will come to pass. So it is a good idea to have a life insurance policy in the event that a tragedy strikes.

This will protect and secure your child’s future in the event that something happens to you. www.babysandbeyond.co.za

Feature

Safety at

schools

South Africa recently mourned the tragic death of 6 year old Michael Komape, who fell into a pit latrine toilet at a school in Limpopo. This incident highlighted the hazardous situations our children sometimes are placed in at schools.

When parents drop their kids off at school, there is generally the thought that their child will be safe.

However, the tragic death of young Michael Komape brings into question the safety of learners at schools.

So how common are injuries on school property?

It is difficult to estimate as it can be safe to assume that the majority of incidences of injuries often go unreported due to the obscurity of who is liable for injuries when learners, teachers or visitors who are hurt whilst visiting schools or partaking in schooling events.

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Over the years, several incidences of injuries at school events or at school property have made the headlines including: • The then MEC of Education in Mpumalanga was held liable by the court when a Grade 5 learner was injured when a device exploded in his hand. The reason for this was due to teacher negligence. • Last year saw the high court order the Gauteng MEC for Education to pay a total of R23.5 million www.babysandbeyond.co.za

Feature

It is unrealistic to expect a teacher to be able to prevent every accident from occurring, however there needs to be a level of supervision on the part of teachers.

was paralysed from the neck down when a safety harness malfunctioned and she plunged six metres from a zipline during a school event. The court ruled that the Eastern Cape Provincial Education Department must pay her R2.38 million in interim damages.

However, not all cases are the fault of education authorities. Children require a certain level of freedom in order to flourish and be active. It is unrealistic to expect a teacher to be able to prevent every accident from occurring, however there needs to be a level of supervision on the part of teachers.

Transport in damages to a young man who was injured on school grounds (when he was a learner) approximately 10 year ago due to teacher negligence.

What does the law say?

According to the Occupational Health and Safety Act 85 of 1993: 8. General duties of employers to their employees (1) Every employer shall provide and maintain, as far as is reasonably practicable, a working environment that is safe and without risk to the health of his employees.

9. General duties of employers and self-employed persons to persons other than their employees (1) Every employer shall conduct his undertaking in such a manner as to ensure, as far as is reasonably practicable, that persons other than those in his employment who may be directly affected by his activities are not thereby exposed to hazards to their health or safety.

But it’s not just learners who may be at harm. In respect of the above Act, a school is a place of employment for educational staff, and learners – or any other members of the public – can be seen as visitors. In 2005, a beauty therapist from East London www.babysandbeyond.co.za

Transportation is also a hot issue – we have all read about various tragic events where learners were involved in accidents. Last year, the Gauteng Department of Education suspended its bus contract with an unnamed company following an accident where 38 learners were injured.

If your child utilises transportation arranged by the school, education authorities may be held liable for injuries provided that there is strong evidence of the vehicle having been unroadworthy, or if the driver was not in possession of the relevant accreditation such as a driving license and a professional driving permit.

Get informed When parents drop their children off at schools or at a school event, there is a level expectancy that school authorities will look after their children. It is wholly unrealistic to expect that no accidents will occur, but according to the law certain provisions need to be made to minimise accidents – teacher supervision, safe building structures and so forth. If your child is injured, be sure to find out the exact details – was it something that was based on negligence or poor school infrastructure? If you are in doubt, consult a legal expert.

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FEATURE

Help!

I don’t recognise my teen

Parenting is a difficult task and every stage brings new challenges. But, one of the most difficult phases for parents is adolescence.

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For the most part, children turn to parents to solve their problems or provide comfort and tend accept their parents’ advice as the truth. So, it is no surprise that when adolescence arrives, parents have a difficult time trying to get to grips with who their child is.

Adolescence is loudly announced by dramatic changes in behaviour around parents. Kids are starting to exert a level of independence while becoming increasingly aware of how their peers see them. At this stage, kids are desperately trying to fit in and to a large they are more interested in how their peers see them rather than their parents.

With the exception of some cases, it is important for parents to be aware that the primary goal of adolescence and their changing child is for said child to achieve independence. This can often across as a teen being “difficult” – a child that all of a sudden seems to object, disagree or question whatever a parent says. Teens are starting to mature and think more abstractly and rationally. At this stage, teens also seem to want to spend more time with friends than parents.

And while there is no set hard and fast rules to help navigate a parent to the turbulent waters of teenage adolescence, there are a few steps that parents can take to be recognise warning signs and be prepared on how to tackle new situations as they arise.

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FEATURE Stay plugged in The formative teen years are almost synonymous with experimentation. It could be harmless experimentation such as a teen wanting to rid themselves of all colour clothing items and going goth; or it could involve risky behaviours such as sex, drugs and alcohol.

The key action step for parents is to get educated and to have an open line of communication with their child. Parents need to discuss things openly with their children, before they are exposed to it. An example of this to alert your child to the dangers of alcohol – discuss the serious repercussions of being drunk such as loss of rationality, being taken advantage off and so forth. If children are aware of the risks prior to exposure, this will increase the likelihood of a child acting responsibly when the time comes.

Another tip would be to know not just your child’s friends, but their parents too. A solid network of parents helps to foster a safer environment if all parents are on the same wavelength.

amount of freedom given to a teen is dependent on a situation. Of course, they will insist that going to the mall with mum and dad is just not cool and will insist on going alone or with friends. For these scenarios, you can negotiate. Set and enforce realistic curfews.

Perhaps also discuss with other parents a dropping and picking up schedule.

Privacy matters Kids need a level of privacy. It is normal and part of growing up. It is unrealistic to expect teens to share every piece of information with parents. Parents need to hang back a bit but ensure that the lines of communication remain open.

Certain things like where your teen is going and with who is important for parents to know, but parents do not need to know every miniscule detail of the outing. This shows a teen that parents have a level of trust in them – and should hopefully deter them from wrongdoing. Teens need to understand that once the trust is broken, they will enjoy less freedom until such a stage when it is rebuilt.

CAUTION

TEENAGER AhEAD

Empathise Parents can help their child to understand that it is normal for them to feel self-conscious and confused at this stage. It is an emotional roller-coaster for teens feeling like an adult and then like a kid at times. It helps to remember how you felt at this crucial stage in your life – and be aware that the challenges you face are different to those that your parents did due to changing times.

Pick your battles As teenagers express their individuality, it is easy for parents to lose their head over things such as hair dye, loud music, and “odd” fashion choices. These are all temporary and harmless enough – chances are as an adult, your teen would not be caught dead wearing some of the outlandish fashions they chose as teens. So, think twice about it before you object. Rather object on issues such as drug use, tattoos etc. which have lasting effects or are potentially dangerous.

Let your teen know the limitations Your child is growing up and demanding more freedom, but alarm bells are ringing in your head.

How much of rope do you give them, if any? The

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Code red Change in a teen’s behaviour is normal, but during adolescence the time is ripe for children to get involved in things they should not. There are warning signs if the personality/physical changes are too drastic. Watch out for these: • Extreme weight gain or loss – this could be indicative of an eating disorder or drug use.

• Sleep problems – this could be drug use or high stress levels.

• Rapid, drastic changes in personality – potential drug use.

• Playing truant at school and failing grades – this could be due to myriad of reasons; parents need to prod – is their child being bullied, is it peer pressure, is it substance abuse etc.

• Suicidal talk – while teens are prone to be more dramatic during adolescence, talk of suicide should never be taken lightly. Talk to your child to ascertain what the underlying reason for suicide talk is.

The best way to cope with an adolescent teen is to communicate with them. Be supportive, set realistic limits and ask questions.

47

Health

Raising an

autistic child Zoe was 16 months and still she showed no interest in walking or talking. Garbled baby talk with words such as “mama” and “dada” were not heard. Zoe’s parents knew that something was not quite right with their daughter.

They waited, thinking rationally, that children sometimes progress at different stages.

When Zoe was almost three years old, her parents found out that their child was autistic. Like many parents, they were shocked – and bewildered.

Questions such as: “What does this mean?”; “What happens now?”; and “What must we do?” sprung from their mouths. They worried about her future as they themselves did not understand the conditions.

What is autism?

Autism is a lifelong condition that occurs as a result of disordered brain growth, structure and development.

It is also said to result from a genetic predisposition, triggered by environmental factors.

People with autism have difficulties with the following: • Language and communication – some people with autism have difficulty speaking or understanding verbal communication. Even autistic people who do have speech sometimes battle to understand the normal process of reciprocal communication.

• Social interaction – they have difficulty understanding other people’s emotions and reactions.

• Concepts – autistic people can sometimes have rigid thought patterns and behaviours. They sometimes also don’t grasp regular concepts or the abstract.

• Sensory disturbances – they have either a heightened or lower sensory perception.

Autism can be treated but not cured. It is also important to note that early detection and interventions can lessen the impact of symptoms. It is also not the fault of parents.

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How to spot autism Here are some of the signs that might be indicative of autism: • No baby babbling 11 months.

• No simple gestures by 12 months.

• A lack of response when their name is called.

• Lack of interest in toys or other stimulatory devices.

• Loss of any language or social skills at any age.

• Oversensitive to light, sounds, colours, texture etc.

• Tendency to have rituals i.e. do things in a particular sequence and throw a tantrum if the sequence is interrupted.

• Rarely makes eye contact when interacting with people.

Tips for parenting an autistic child It is essential that parents with an autistic child learn all they possibly can about the condition to better understand and support their child. The more you www.babysandbeyond.co.za

Health

know, the better equipped you will be to make decisions such as where to send them to school, how to stimulate them etc.

• Create a consistent environment. Autistic children have difficulty adapting what they have learned. The best way to ensure that they retain what they have learned is to reinforce. Speak to your child’s teachers or therapist and be on the same page.

• Routine is key. Autistic children require a highly structured routine. For example, have set meal times, bedtime etc. If the routine is disrupted, be sure to prepare your child in advance to avoid a tantrum.

• Have visual tools. Due to difficulties in fully understanding verbal communication, perhaps use colours as signs. For example, have red flags/ markers placed in areas that are no-go zones.

• Create a loving and warm environment. While it may be difficult for parents to understand the www.babysandbeyond.co.za

behaviour of their child, patience is key. Parents should reward good behaviour as this acts as a positive reinforcement, but be sure to make your child understands what it is they have done right.

Parents should also make sure that they devise ways to have fun times with their child – it might not necessarily be what is considered “normal” fun, but see what best entertains your child.

Since finding out about Zoe’s condition, her parents are no longer panicked. They have managed to carve out a schedule to suit their child’s needs, and look at the diagnosis as a positive since now they are able to better understand and attend to Zoe’s needs.

Autistic children can grow up to lead fulfilling lives.

But in order for that to occur, parents need to ensure they get educated on the condition, have a lot of patience, and be attuned to their child’s reactions.

While there is no cure, early interventions can lessen the impact of autistic symptoms.

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FEATURE

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FEATURE

Tantrum

terrors

At some stage children will throw a tantrum. It is generally loud, embarrassing and difficult to deal with.

Parents generally tend to feel quite embarrassed when their child throws a tantrum in public. It’s a feeling of helplessness and inadequacy as we worry about what people will think. The reasons parents feel this way is due to the idea that well-behaved children stems from good parenting skills. But a tantrum has nothing to do with parenting skills, it actually is not even about the parents – it’s about the child.

How to prevent a tantrum?

Parents always ask is there any way to prevent tantrums from happening. While tantrums can be limited, think on your own experiences – as an adult we all at some point lose our tempers too, but we are just better equipped at controlling it. Parents can have an impact on how long tantrums last by the way they respond to it.

Here are some ideas on how to deal with an episode: • Firstly, compose yourself and stay calm. If one person in a system can stay relatively calm, that’s the best way to quiet any kind of upset or tantrum.

• Do not engage in your child’s angry outbursts.

Do not react by yelling, worrying, hovering or giving in—all typical things that we do as parents.

The best thing to do is to ignore your child and continue with your tasks as per usual.

• Do not give in to your child’s demands. If you do, this sets a precedence and you are letting them know if they scream and kick they will get what they want.

• If you are in public, it might seem brash, but sometimes it is just best to pick up your child and leave to avoid the stares.

• Be empathetic. If it’s appropriate, you can say, “I know it’s very frustrating, I understand you wanted to go to the park today.” By being empathetic, your child is more likely to respond to you.

• Sometimes if all else fails, you just have to ride it out until your child tires themselves out.

If you give in to your child when he has tantrums— or throw one yourself in reaction to his outbursts—as www.babysandbeyond.co.za

he grows older and reaches adolescence, this might result in an all too frequent power struggle.

Boundaries need to be drawn from an early age – you are setting the tone for future interactions.

Tips for lessening tantrums While tantrums can’t always be prevented, here are some ways to attempt to lessen their frequency.

• M ake time daily to do have some fun such as visiting the park or reading stories together.

• Set a good example by remaining calm even when you are stressed by worries such as work or finances etc. By you remaining calm and not erupting into outbursts sets a positive exampleyou’re your child to emulate.

• Use positive phrasing. Instead of saying no all the time, try using word like, “Yes, we can do that later” or “This weekend is a great idea to go to the park”.

• Your child is developing, and it’s only natural that they will get frustrated from time to time.

They are still learning new skills like potty training, or have just started going to daycare – as odd as it may sound they too are having to endure some level of stress.

• Praise your child for good behaviours – the idea is to give attention to positive actions/ behaviours of the child. This will also alert them on what is right and wrong. Too often parents pay more attention to children who throw tantrums.

• Avoid screaming – this generally makes tantrums worse.

• Most children will outgrow tantrums when they have a better grasp of communication skills.

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Health

Sleep deprivation – a reality for parents

It is inevitable – you have just had a baby and having a good night sleep is a thing of the past. In between changing diapers, feeds, bonding time and general life, you feel tired – all the time – but there is just so much to do…

As a new parent, it is part of the package to wake up at all odd hours of the night to nurture and care for your bundle of joy. According to reports, parents lose about 44 days of sleep in the first year after having a baby – that is over a month!

Many parents try to get some shut eye once their baby is asleep, but the pressures of life – house life or work life – add up. It is a Herculean task to be functional at work, at home and being a caretaker for your baby at night.

An interesting point to note is that for some mums, sleep deprivation does not necessarily begin following the birth of a child – sometimes it starts during pregnancy due to discomfort and frequent trips to the bathroom.

What are the effects of sleep deprivation?

• I t affects mood. According to research conducted, sleep loss is associated with negative emotions and feelings of hostility. Sleep deprivation, if prolonged, could also result in moderate depression.

• It affects cognitive functioning. Reaction time and alertness is lowered – this is particularly dangerous when driving a vehicle. Memory is also affected making it difficult to multi-task – a skill that all new parents have to do. A person’s communication skills are also affected – it is sometimes a challenge to find the right word at the right time.

What can you do?

• P rioritise important tasks. Looking after your baby is a priority that can’t be shrugged off, but if you fail to do the dishes for one night, will that really be such a tragedy?

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... sleep deprivation does not necessarily begin following the birth of a child – sometimes it starts during pregnancy due to discomfort and frequent trips to the bathroom.

• G et into a routine. It seems child-like, but it is a good idea to give yourself a bedtime. It does not matter that your favourite show is about to start or that you have not checked your Facebook in five hours – if it is 9pm, then it is bedtime.

• Say yes to help. If someone, who you trust, is willing to come over to babysit for a bit – say yes and get yourself a much needed snooze. It does not make you a bad parent.

• Partners must work together. Gone are the days when only mums could tackle the task of feeding a baby. Mums need to invest in a breast pump so that parents can alternate between night feeds.

Is it temporary?

For the most part sleep deprivation due to having children is temporary. If you are able to help develop your child’s sleeping patterns, it becomes much easier. The good thing is that the older they get, the more they will sleep through the night. www.babysandbeyond.co.za

FEATURE

Social networking threats

Each generation of parents face new challenges as times change.

With the advent of social media, the world has changed rapidly.

While the internet is largely seen as a progressive tool for business, entertainment and social interactions, there is a dark side to it too‌

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With the innovative and fast pace of social media, parents now have an added burden to worry about – what are their children seeing or doing on the internet, and most importantly who are they interacting with.

Here are some threats posed by social media.

Harassment Bullying is no longer restricted to the playground, it has now manifested into cyber-bullying. Cyber-bullying refers to users posting malicious content about people.

These messages are generally able to be read by most of your teen’s peers. This can have a detrimental emotional effect on teens, who at this stage of their life are very self-conscious as to how others view them, in particular their peers. In recent years, cyber-bullying has made media headlines dues to extreme cases of cyber-bullying attacks resulting in suicide.

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FEATURE

Once connected, sexual predators have the opportunity to gain a child’s trust and have access to personal information such as where they live, their schedule and so forth.

Another area of concern is identity theft. Seeing as it is fairly simple to set up social media accounts, sometime your child can be impersonated by someone else who posts content that is construed as controversial or embarrassing.

Online predators The anonymity of social media places children at risk from sexual predators. Sexual predators surfing the net are able to mask their true identities, ages and intent. A 40 year old adult can pose as a twelve year old and connect with your child. Once connected,

sexual predators have the opportunity to gain a child’s trust and have access to personal information such as where they live, their schedule and so forth.

Predators can sometime then turn to grooming children. Children online are excited to make and communicate with new people. As such children are less cautious about who they “accept” as friends.

On sites such as Facebook and Twitter, the more “friends” sometimes considered a mark of achievement or a sign of popularity.

Inappropriate content The amount of information on the internet is staggering. While the internet is a super-useful tool for researching homework assignments and projects, the internet can also potentially expose children to age inappropriate content such as pornography. Even if parents set up parental controls on a child’s media devices, if the content is sent via a social networking site, children can still possibly access it.

Privacy issues Social media provides a platform for people to express themselves. However, children do not always understand the risks involved in over-sharing. In a highly charged and emotional state, they may post content that is sensitive. Also they share information such as their current location and such – if they are “friends” with strangers, this poses a significant risk as it alerts predators to their movements.

What can parents do?

• Firstly get educated about social networking sites and see what they are all about. Also look at the privacy settings, and communicate with your child regarding this. Personalising privacy settings ensures that certain personal information such as telephone numbers cannot be accessed by all.

Privacy features can also prevent people from accessing your child’s full profile such as their “walls” and photographs. Also, most sites have a “block” mechanism, which provides a slight safeguard and denies malicious persons access to profiles.

• Try to set limits on internet usage and have parental controls set up to prevent children from accessing age inappropriate websites. It must be noted that parental controls are not full-proof – children might still be able to access content via social networking sites. Parents can also look at investing in tools that allow them to peruse which sites their children have been frequenting.

• Communicate with your child about the content they post – once posted, it’s difficult to take back.

Sometime teens may post offensive posts, and once that has gone viral it is difficult to stop the spread.

• Explain to children the potential dangers of accepting friend requests from strangers – and make certain they understand that is never acceptable to meet strangers in person that they have met online.

• If parents know their child is being bullied online, report this via appropriate channels.

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ADVERTORIAL

Feature

Design dĂŠcor

dreams

Long gone are the days when babies simply had a crib in their parents’ room. Setting up a nursery is an exciting time for parents who want to ensure that their baby has the perfect space. There are so many design ideas that it can be a tad overwhelming, and it can also be a costly endeavour. Here are some tips on how to get the basics right.

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Feature

Nursery on budget Many parents want to create the “perfect” baby space, and feel that being on budget hinders this goal. The fact of the matter is that very few people can actually afford catalogue nurseries. However, being on budget does not necessarily mean that your nursery can’t be just as good.

Colours: While pastel colours scream newborn, chances are that as your child grows you will have to repaint. Choose a shade of paint that will grow too with your child – this saves money at a later stage when the nursery is transformed into a kid’s room.

Recycle: Some nursery items can be borrowed or gotten from friends and family – not everything needs to be new.

Furniture: While it is great to have all the latest furniture, it is not all necessarily needed. Does your newborn really need an entire cupboard in addition to having draws? Is a baby bath really needed in the nursery? Many parents don’t even use it and it just lies in the nursery. Buy just the essentials – a sturdy and safe crib, a comfortable chair for mum/dad to sit on, a small lamp for night feeds and diaper duty, and a set of draws that can double-up as a changing station. Of course items such as the chair and chest of draws can be recycled furniture.

Be sure that any items you purchase or inherit – be it furniture, toys, paint etc. – meets safety regulations.

Designer dreams Now come the fun part – where parents have the opportunity to bring out their creative flare. Adding colour to the walls is a great idea, but how many parents actually consider the ceiling? Babies spend a large portion of their time on their backs and a white ceiling can look rather drab. While painting the ceiling might be a bit extreme for some parents, stickons would do the job just as well to add a level of fun to the ceiling. www.babysandbeyond.co.za

Get the creative juices flowing by investing in stencilling – this is a great way to liven up walls.

Here are some pointers to consider when designing a nursery: • Nurseries do not need to have a theme.

• Identify a focal point – it can be the crib or even an artistic item. Find that and make your design fit around that centrepiece.

• Lookout for a comfy spot for mum/dad – parents will be spending a good amount of time in this room for feeds, changes and bonding time.

Find a suitable nook for where you will feel most comfortable.

• Finish all the painting and wall papering a couple months before the baby is born. This helps to ensure that the baby is not exposed to potential toxic fumes.

• Try to avoid using wall to wall carpets – these collect dust and are more difficult to clean.

Rather purchase rugs.

• Even though newborns can hardly wander around a nursery, it is a good idea to still make some safety adjustments. Sleep deprivation is a norm for new parents, and the motor and cognitive skills are not necessarily 100% all the time. A helpful tip is to secure rugs to the floor to prevent falls. It’s also a good idea to anchor all heavy furniture so it won’t fall if bumped or moved.

• Take note of the lighting – does the room get direct sunlight, and if so where does it fall? Babies sleep at all hours, so try to avoid placing the crib in an area that has the direct glare of sunlight or an outside lamp.

• Assess your space – and ensure that you have adequate storage space.

• Keep supplies nearby. If you have a changing table, make sure that diapers and baby jelly and baby wipes are within arm’s reach so you don’t have to move around whilst completing tasks.

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GET SOME GRUB

Quick and easy

recipes for parents on the go

It’s been a long day at work, and since you have become a parent time is a precious commodity that is scarce. Try out this quick – it will take you 20 minutes max – and delicious alfredo pasta recipe, which is sure to be a hit with the whole family.

alfredo

Ingredients 200g pasta tagliatelle 60g butter Garlic Herbs Basil Pepper 90g grated parmesan or cheddar Cream Protein – choose between chicken or bacon or ham

Method

Cook the pasta in salted water until soft.

Drain it but do not rinse.

Prepare the protein side – if it needs preparation in a separate pan.

In a sauce pan, melt the butter in medium to low heat.

Add some cream to give your dish a rich taste – be careful not to have the heat on too high.

Add seasoning items such as garlic, herbs, pepper.

Throw in your protein and stir.

Add cheese.

Serve immediately with pepper (some children don’t like pepper so mums and dads can opt to not include it in their bowls).

Tip: Pasta is an easy dish for your teens to prepare – it goes quickly and rarely flops.

The A-Ds for healthy foods to help your kids grow • Vitamin A: Essential for growth, development and a healthy immune system. Pre-formed A, called retinol, comes from animal products such as milk and liver. Carotenoid A is found in certain colorful fruits and veggies.

• Vitamin B: These are energy boosters. It is also needed for optimal brain function and stress management.

• Vitamin C: A powerful antioxidant for a healthy inflammation response and crucial for immune and brain function.

• Vitamin D: Plays a major role in bone development.

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GET SOME GRUB

Fish

Ingredients

Chowder

40g butter 1 large onion 2 medium-sized potatoes 3 cups of milk 3 rashers of bacon 2 cups vegetable stock 400g fish fillets 1 tablespoon finely chopped chives 1 clove of garlic – crushed 2 tablespoons of flour

Method Melt butter in a large saucepan on low to medium heat.

Braise the onions together with garlic and bacon until the onions are cooked and soft.

Add flour to the saucepan and stir for approximately a minute or two.

Add milk, potatoes and stock. Bring the mixture to a boil and then lower heat till ingredients simmers.

Wait until potatoes are tender and then add fish.

Allow ingredients to simmer until fish is cooked.

Serve with sprinkled chives or a garnish of choice.

Tip: For a richer tasting chowder add fresh cream.

Tip: Add other fish bits such as mussels for more variety.

Chocolate mousse

Ingredients 200g dark eating chocolate 300ml thick cream 3 eggs 2 tablespoons castor sugar

Method Chop chocolate and mix with half of the cream.

Heat and stir until the chocolate has melted.

Cool chocolate and quickly stir in egg yokes.

Beat egg whites until soft peaks form. Then add sugar and beat until all ingredients is dissolved.

Pour the two mixtures together and refrigerate for at least three hours. www.babysandbeyond.co.za

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a

c world Around the

Kicks for kids

Puzzling facts!

Making sense of the sentence

Finish the sentence using the following words: piano, roar, fish, clouds, mammal, shell, camera, reptile, volume, windy 1. Dark .................................................... in the sky means it’s going to rain.

2. My mum took me to the pet store to buy a .............................................

3. I can fly my kite today because it is ..........................................................

4. Mum always tells me to turn down the ................................... on the TV. 5. I am learning to play the .............................................................................

6. A crocodile is a .............................................................................................

7. A monkey is a ...............................................................................................

8. My dad loves to take photographs with a ................................................

9. Turtles have a protective .............................................................................

10. Lions ................................................................................................................

b

Crossword

Find the word highlighted

1.

3.

4.

Animal kingdom

word search

And the solution is ..............................................................................................

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England, Japan, France, South Africa, Kenya, Australia, USA, New Zealand, Egypt, India The Sphinx and pyramids are found in ...................................................................

The Statue of Liberty and Hollywood is found in ...................................................................

Sushi originated in ...................................................................

Table Mountain is found in ...................................................................

The Eiffel Tower is found in ...................................................................

The All Blacks rugby team is from ...................................................................

Buckingham Palace is found in ...................................................................

Kilimanjaro is found in ...................................................................

The Taj Mahal is found in

2.

Find the

Get to know your countries

words below:

...................................................................

Koalas, kangaroos and dingos are found in ...................................................................

duck, kangaroo, leopard, dog, horse, rat, pig, owl, bear, tiger, zebra, hen, ox, monkey, lion, bird, cow

D C P C X Z R A E B U O I T Z E B R A M C W G I P H L I O N K A N G A R O O T U K J H E N A W R L X D U S R Q T L O S O L E O P A R D O P E B I R D Y E K N O M

Answers a.)

1. Clouds 2. Fish 3. Windy 4. Volume 5. Piano 6. Reptile 7. Mammal 8. Camera 9. Shell 10. Roar b.) Fish c.)

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

Egypt USA Japan South Africa France New Zealand England Kenya India Australia

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babys beyond

Kicks for kids

and

Colouring fun

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Kicks for kids

babys beyond and

Connect the

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FEATURE

Single

parenting tips

According to the Justice Department’s 2012/13 Annual Report, South Africa’s divorce rate has increased dramatically by 28% from 39 573 in the previous financial year to 50 517 in 2012/13. So it comes as no surprise that in today’s modern world, single-parent households have become commonplace.

Today we see all sorts of single parent families: headed by mothers, headed by fathers, headed by a grandparent raising their grandchildren. While single-parent homes have become more common, it can be quite stressful for both the caregiver and the child. The responsibility of trying to juggle childrearing, holding down a job, bills, and a house is overwhelming. Sometimes, added pressures include custody battles, dating, lack of time and conflict. To help cope with the pressures of single-parenting here are a few tips: • Ensure a structured routine: Time is a valuable commodity, particularly in single-parent homes, so maintain a schedule for homework time, meals, bedtime etc. A great way to help stay ahead of things is to have a timetable which you and your child can consult and amend as needed. It also goes a long way to make certain balls are not dropped.

• Quality time: While it may be difficult, it is critical that a parent set aside time daily with their child.

It does not mean that you have to do something special daily – it could be sitting down at a dinner table together or reading a book with your child and so forth. This reinforces your commitment to your child in their eyes.

• Have “me time”: This is one of the most difficult things for parents is to find and be able to spend time away from their child. Find a trustworthy babysitter who is responsible yet entertaining, or allow your child to spend quality time with other family members or friends. Having some time to entertain yourself is vital to ensuring that you stay happy – which will only benefit your child.

• Lay down the law: Be reasonable about the rules you set and enforce them. These rules will adapt as your child grows, but it is important to provide discipline in the household to avoid daily arguments.

• Ask for help: Single parents sometimes suffer from Superman mentality. Just because you are a single parent does not mean that you have to do everything solo. Speak to other parents about lift clubs to school, aftercare and so forth.

Most people are willing to help if you are willing to ask. www.babysandbeyond.co.za

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ADVERTORIAL

A tree house

retreat

Over 11 years ago Robyn and Viv Patz made the decision to escape the rat race and live a quieter life with their young son Alex.

Thus begins the story of Teniqua Treetops.

Working closely with the Departments of Environmental Affairs and Tourism and Water Affairs and Forestry and with locals who understand the nature of the forest, the Patz’s set about creating a unique, sustainable and eco-friendly tree house retreat on their farm in the Outeniqua Mountains.

For those looking for a holiday accommodation that is markedly different, Teniqua Treetops offers guests the opportunity to relax and bask in the natural surroundings of the wilderness South Africa has to offer – high up in the canopy of an indigenous forest .

Perched on timber piling, the tented tree houses blend harmoniously into their surroundings and nestle within the forest canopy.

Teniqua Treetops is a self-catering tented tree house resort that affords guests a bit of everything – adventure, romance, privacy, tranquillity and obviously nature.

One would assume that being in the middle of a forest one would be hard-pressed to find the creature comforts of home. However, these environmentally friendly constructed houses provide all the facilities of home – gas and solar geysers to warm water, stoves, www.babysandbeyond.co.za

microwaves, double door fridges and luxurious bedrooms with electric blankets and heaters. But the best feature has to be the romantic two person bath sheltered but surrounded by the forest.

While it is the promise of communing with nature – which is in abundance – that attracts most visitors, the resort also offers a host of entertainment such as a jungle gym for the kids, a trampoline, two swimming pools, a communal braai area and a games room.

Teniqua’s 2014 rates range from R1 265 a night per tree house rising to R1 900 for a two-bedroomed tree house. Our one bedroom family tree houses are designed to be toddler friendly and are R1 573 a night. For details of peak season and winter specials, call 044 356 2868, e-mail queries@teniquatreetops.co.za or visit www.teniquatreetops.co.za.

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4 lucky subscribers stand the chance of winning one Deryan Travel Cot or one Fresh Squeezed hamper from Layette Essentials.

babys beyond and

GIVE AWAYS

Please send your feedback on this launch edition of Baby’s and Beyond to info@babysandbeyond.co.za and you stand a chance to get one of our Give Aways.

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Al Nisa

Maternity Home

We are a private Midwife Obstetrics Unit (MOU) keen to serve women with low-risk pregnancies who seek a holistic, supportive, women only environment at an affordable rate.

Services we offer (Kindly visit our website for prices): • Antenatal Care • Postnatal care • Immunuzation & Vaccines • General Practitioner

• PMTCT • Breastfeeding Training • Delivery • Phototherapy (for Jaundice)

• Family Planning • Papsmears, Breast Screenings • Ultrasounds • Antenatal Classes

Al-Nisa Maternity Home: 7 Rokeby Road, Rondebosch East / Crawford Tel: (021) 696 8892 / 087 150 1416 • Fax (021) 696 8847 Email: info@alnisamaternityhome.co.za / reception@alnisamaternityhome.co.za www.alnisamaternityhome.co.za

CLASSIFIEDS

the little buzzy!

brand new product The kart is a pedal go kart for children of the ages 1 to 3 years

Maternity • Newborn • Kids • Families Samantha Squire-Howe • 084 388 6567 sam@twinklestar.co.za wwww.twinklestar.co.za

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new

new

info@bergtoys.co.za Martie: 082 899 2221 Ernst: 082 847 4727

www.babysandbeyond.co.za

CLASSIFIEDS

www.labelcollections.com 084 712 5837 info@labelcollections.com

Simply maternity & beyond.

A modern maternity brand introducing good quality, desirable wardrobe essentials into the lives of pregnant women. lAbel lAmÉre is a collection you will feel confident and beautiful wearing. We focus on effortless dressing and keep maternity style simple and chic.

Invest in lAbel lAmÉre and your new wardrobe will work through out the nine months and beyond.

SImply mAternIty

www.babysandbeyond.co.za

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