Habit's Scribblings

Habit’s scriblings

by: Jason Shoemaker AKA Habit Summer 2013

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I am As quiet as a ghost As pale as snow As hungry as a bear Like a carpenter As dexterous as a monkey As imaginative as a 5 year old As nerdy as an Otaku As knowledgeable as an old man As vicious as a viper As calm as a stream

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A tale of rabbits Hello Little Rabbits, I’m going to tell you a story. A story about a young boy whose name is… Well names aren’t important right now, we wouldn’t want to label the poor young lad now, would we? Anyway I’ll just refer to him as Rabbit now, much like I will with all of you. Now to start with, we’re going to go back to his childhood for a brief history before we jump back to our main tale.

Rabbit was a… a happy child. He was cared for and loved by his mother but he had a problem. He was an angry child, not against anyone in particular just at the world. You see, his father left when he was still just a baby and in the town which he lived, that was a very bad thing. The other children treated him like trash, pointed and laughed at him like he was a sideshow at the circus. However, he never reacted to it other than to smile and laugh alongside them, in his head pretending that they were laughing with him and not at him.

Sometimes this worked but other times it only made him feel foolish, like a braying jackass or a parrot simply mimicking a young human. Yet through it all he smiled and tried his best to react with kindness, giving his tormentors something to laugh at, giving them food or money, even sometimes giving them gifts, just to try and gain a friend but it was all for naught. Every day he came home to be greeted by his mother who was always kind, she made sure he never needed anything, sometimes going as far as not eating dinner so he could go to bed on a full stomach. It was hard but she loved him. Whenever he came home she’d always greet him with a smile and ask things like “How was school?” or “Did you make any friends today?” as far as he knew she never really knew what happened and Rabbit was glad for it.

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He never wanted his mom to worry about him, he only wanted to make sure that she was happy, which she was. One thing she had always told him which to this day he remembers was, “There is nothing that you can’t do, no matter what.” She told him this every day though he never really took it seriously despite acting as though it had a profound impact on his outlook of life. Anyway I’m getting off topic which will happen from time to time I’m afraid. As little Rabbit grew up the people of the town continued to treat him terribly, flinging insults at him and even sometimes throwing things at him as they drove by in their little vehicles. Time and time again he simply responded with a smile and their expressions almost always pulled back into a sneer as though he were some vile disgusting thing that shouldn’t exist.

Now don’t get me wrong, not everyone in that town treated him as though he were a monster. There were people who treated him as a human being and even with kindness, but like always I will not name anyone— ruins the flow of the story you see. They were his only friends, a brother and a sister that were roughly his age if not a little older but they always greeted him with a smile and always had time to spend with him which he enjoyed immensely. The day he told his mother that he had made friends she nearly cried with joy and hugged him till her arms were sore but again I’m getting off track. This story is about Rabbit and not his friends. Actually at this point I’m not sure what else could be said of his childhood, I’ve told all there is to tell regarding how he grew till his teenage years which is where we’ll be picking up so without further ado, let’s get started then shall we?

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The day had been a rather long and arduous one for Rabbit, even longer than usual considering it had only been a half day for the final hours of the school year. Trudging home he stumbled in with an exasperated sigh before collapsing on the couch. He dropped his bag beside him. He curled up and relaxed for a few minutes to allow the bruises in his body to fade away. Perking up slightly, he sat upright as he heard the tell tale foot steps of his mother coming to greet him, putting on a faint smile as she rounded into the living room. “Hey mom” he spoke with a quiet voice, not quite making eye contact with her yet in hopes that she wouldn’t see the black eye he’d gotten earlier that day. She moved to sit beside him and embrace him in a gentle hug “Hey hun, how was your last day of school?” she asked in a kind voice, her fingers idly stroking through his dark hair. “It was alright I guess” he mumbled, gently leaning against her.

She watched him for a long moment, knowing full well that he was lying but she didn’t want to push the issue right now. Instead she gave his head a gentle pat “Alright, why don’t you head upstairs and rest for a bit? I have to work tonight so I won’t be able to cook dinner but I’ll leave some money for you to get something to eat, alright?” He nodded silently and grabbed his bag before practically limping up the stares to hide in his room. Dropping his bag with an audible thud he fell onto his bed with a wince “ow.. Why do they always have to hit me in the face?”

He sighed and rolled onto his back to stare up at his ceiling. “Oh well… Just another year of school and I won’t have to deal with them anymore,” he mumbled to himself as his eyes gradually began to shut from the exhaustion of the day. As the hours passed he gradually began to relax in his sleep, the aches and pains fading away completely before he finally awoke. Looking out the window he cocked a brow “Damn, I slept way too long.”

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“Well now, that’s most certainly an understatement.” A voice chuckled in the darkness of the room, causing Rabbit to jump and reach for his bedside lamp “Who said that?!” he called out in a panic only for that same chuckle to ring out through the room “Oh, don’t worry

about who I am. Names aren’t that important to me Little Rabbit.” The voice called out with an almost cruel chuckle that only served to taunt Rabbit. “And I don’t suggest trying to find me, you probably wouldn’t like what you’d see” Rabbit curled up slightly in his bed “What do you want?” he asked with a slight whimper which was only met by another cackle that sounded like breaking glass “Oh I’m

just here to help you with your little problems” The voice sounded as though it was coming from everywhere and nowhere at once, the tones that could be heard sounding like the low pitch of a man and the high pitch of a woman.

Rabbit shifted and looked around once more before opening his mouth to speak “What are you talking about?” he asked as he slowly began to stand up, making his way around the room as he searched for the source of the voice.

“What did I say about looking for me? Sit your ass down!” He commanded with a voice of authority which practically forced Rabbit down to his knees in fear, his body quivering as he tried not to scream “Good boy. Now

where was I? Oh right, I’m here to help you.”

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“Now then, I’ve had my eye on you for quite some time and I’ve seen the shit you go through on a day to day basis. Tell me, why do you put up with that shit?” Rabbit could only sit quietly in fear as he listened to the voice “Answer me you little twit before I start getting annoyed,” he warned which forced Rabbit to recoil in fear before finally speaking. “Mother always taught me to be nice to people, even when they treat me horribly and I don’t want to disappoint Mother. I want her to be proud of me.” The voice only cackled at his words, “Oh that

is rich, that really is. You know that no matter what, if you want something you have to take it.

Never just sit and expect gifts and friends to fall into your lap.”

“But I’m getting ahead of my self now. Tell me, what are you going to do if your Mother dies, hmm?

Are you going to keep being a nice little boy to all those worthless people out there in the world? I wouldn’t advise that sort of thing. In fact I wouldn’t advise even staying in this town, unless you plan to have some REAL fun.”

Rabbit could only sit and listen, his entire body trembling before he finally got up the nerve to speak up, “You shut the hell up! Don’t you dare talk about my Mother like that! She was the only person willing to care for me!” he screamed back at the voice in anger. The voice simply responded with a laugh “If you say so Little Rabbit. I’ll

see you around then.”

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Rabbit took the silence as an opportunity to run downstairs, frantically looking around for any signs of an intruder before sighing quietly “Maybe that was just some kind of dream… I think that was it. Fuck I’m hungry.” He turned and wandered around before coming upon the money Mother had left him. “Alright now what should I order?” he thought for a few minutes before just shrugging and ordering himself a pizza to eat for the night before crawling up to his room. Falling onto his bed he kicked off his shoes and curled up. “I’ll see you in the morning Mother..” he whispered to himself as he began to simply pass out.

As morning broke through the window Rabbit was awoken to the sound of a fist knocking heavily on the front door “hmm, what?” He stood up and practically stumbled down the stairs to answer the door. At the door stood the town sheriff with an envelope in his hand. Promptly thrusting it forward into young Rabbit’s hands he gave a slight nod to him before turning and walking away. Rabbit looked down at the envelope with a look of confusion pasted across his face, “What’s this?”

Rabbit opened the envelope curiously and pulled out the letter inside. Looking over it, his eyes went wide as he finished it. Dropping down to his knees, his eyes began to tear up. The letter said that his mother had died on her way home from work at two this morning after being hit by a drunk driver and left on the side of the road until a paperboy making his morning rounds came upon her. She’d been dead for a couple of hours by the time she was found but the chill of the night and morning had slowed down the decomposition. Her funeral was to be handled by the other members of her family and was to be set for next month.

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The month shot by in a blur for Rabbit, his days and nights mixing together into an indescribable mess of sobbing alone in his room, putting up with the people of the town, and the little voice gnawing away at the back of his mind. He’d done his best to ignore everything but the world was starting to get a bit much for him to deal with all at once, even more so now that Mother had passed as he no longer had anyone to comfort him. The day the funeral came he’d pulled out an old suit and gotten dressed, the fabric heavily worn and torn in a few places along the back and arms but it overall was at least serviceable for the time being. At the funeral he stood silently as he listened to the priest prattle on his little rant. He listened to the voice whispering in his ear “Aww come on, this is

dull. Look you can hop over the coffin and knock out the priest right now and liven up this place.”

“Pay attention to me you little shit.” the voice growled out in his ear which only made Rabbit tremble, though it didn’t give away anything, in fact it made him look as though he was trying not to cry “Do you even know

half of these people? Seriously they don’t look like people who’d be related to you. They’re all glaring at you, have you noticed that?” The voice pointed out which Rabbit was fully aware of.

He knew the majority of his family hated him for being a bastard child and as such they treated him much like the rest of the town did. Sure, there were a few that didn’t treat him like shit but they were essentially apathetic towards him which honestly wasn’t much better than everyone else.

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“Oh for the love of… Look fucking do SOMETHING, this crap is boring. At least shed a tear or something, show how depressed you are.” Rabbit only stood silently and still as a rock, not even flinching as the casket was lowered into the grave and filled up with dirt. As the procession ended he turned and began the long walk home, taking his own time to make it back to his house and avoiding the usual string of insults that haunted him on his way home. As he came upon his house he blinked, seeing a set of vehicles in the drive way he didn’t recognize “What…

Who could be here?”

He walked up the steps and pushed open the door.

Stepping inside, he was greeted by the sight of his family.

“Uhm… Why are you people in my house?” he asked as he watched the small group of people. An older women stepped forward and began to speak, though she didn’t look at him “It has come to our attention that you have been living alone in this house for the last month and we simply cannot allow that. So we have decided for your benefit, you’re going to be moved into a boarding school until you’re old enough to live on your own. Now go upstairs and pack your things, we need it empty so we can sell the house.”

Rabbit stood there in shock for a long moment before shaking his head “But, I don’t want to go to some boarding school. This is my home, I’ve lived here all my life and I don’t want to leave my friends.” The women simply shook her head “We understand that you don’t want to leave but you shouldn’t make up such things like having friends. It makes you look ridiculous. Now do as we say and go get your things and be quick of it.” She ordered while the people behind her began to snicker at Rabbit.

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The voice got a hell of a kick out of that one “Oh

come on, don’t tell me you plan to let that bunch of jackasses boss you around. Take my advice for once and show them who’s boss. This is your house and you aren’t budging, now voice your anger.” Rabbit clenching his fists tightly and shook his head “No, I’m not leaving. This is my home and I will not allow you or anyone to make me leave.”

The woman glared at him “Listen to me you little bastard, you don’t have a choice in the matter. Now get your shit together and get the hell out!” Rabbit shot her a look that didn’t belong on his face before screaming at her. “Get the

hell out of my house you old bitch before I bury you all in the fucking basement!” He screamed in a voice that didn’t seem to belong to him but the effect was almost immediate. The group recoiled in fear before moving to make a run for the back door. “We’ll be back with the police!” the woman called back at him before they all piled into their vehicles and drove away.

Rabbit stood there trembling for a few minutes before collapsing to the ground. “There ya go champ, see what

happens when you let your anger out? It makes things go the way you want them to,” the voice laughed before going silent again. “You heard what they said, they’ll be back with the police. I’m going to be thrown out and there’s nothing I can do about it.” Shut up you whining

kid, seriously you act like they can push you around all the time.”

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“I say start pushing back for a change, show them how terrifying you can be and they’ll start showing you some respect for a change. Just try it.” Rabbit only trembled for a few moments before standing up. “I need to get some sleep before I lose my mind completely,” he uttered quietly to himself before moving up to his room to get some rest before he passed out right there on the floor. As he fell onto his bed he stretched out with a yawn “Maybe he is right. Maybe I do need to start letting my anger out to get my way.”

He laid there for a time contemplating the voice’s words before his eyes finally shut, relaxing utterly as he drifted onto into a peaceful slumber. “That’s right, get

some sleep Rabbit. You’ll need it because tomorrow everything changes my boy.” The voice chuckled quietly before going silent for the night.

Sun broke through the shades of his room, landing square on his face to force him to awake.

Rabbit stirred and sat up sleepily. Rubbing his eyes he slipped out of the bed and made his way downstairs. “I wonder if the house is still empty,” he spoke softly to himself as he looked around. “Yep, it’s empty buddy. Just you and

me in this little place. So, what have you got planned for today?”

Rabbit blinked and shook his head “Still whispering to me like a ghost?” he asked before moving to sit in his living room .“Well, we need food for the house and I’m assuming that those jackasses will have the police sent here to try and get rid of me. “I honestly doubt they’ll try anything,

they’re cowards. Just relax and enjoy the day.”

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Rabbit thought on that for a moment before shrugging.

“I suppose you’re right about that. Alright I guess I’ll take the day to relax,” he stood up and pulled on his shoes. “But I still need to get food before it gets late in the day.” He slipped on his coat and moved outside, locking the door behind him he began his long walk to the store. Looking up at the sky he shook his head and pulled up his hood as thunder cracked through the heavens, rain slowly beginning to fall onto his head.

Rabbit looked ahead as he heard a group of people ahead of him, sighing quietly to himself, “Not right now, I don’t need this today.” He looked down as he tried to pass through the group only to be stopped as one of them held out his arm to bar his path, “Hey there little bastard, where do you think you’re going? We haven’t seen much of you in the last month. Been busy crying over mommy?” They laughed and shoved him backwards, forcing Rabbit to fall backwards onto his ass. “Come on, just leave me alone, please.”

The group laughed and the leader leaned down. Taking hold of his shirt collar, he hoisted Rabbit up onto his feet.

“Now why would we leave you alone? After all, you are the town punching bag and you don’t have mommy around to make you feel any better. We’re going to make you scream,” he smirked as he pulled a knife out from his pocket and held it up to his neck.

Rabbit shuddered and froze up. “Rabbit, don’t let

this little shit stain push you around like this. Look, you can slap his arm aside and defend yourself. If you don’t, you will die Rabbit.” The leader grinned and pulled the knife back, ready to shove it straight on home.

“Rabbit, do as I say now!”

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Rabbit shut his eyes tight and let out a scream. Bringing his arms up in a quick snap, he shoved the leaders arms to the side. Reaching out, he grabbed hold of the shirt collar and slammed his head forwards, colliding against the leaders nose with a sickening crunch. Shoving him away to the ground, he stood there in a daze for a long moment, the male against the ground screaming in pain as blood flowed from his now broken nose. “Agh what’s fucking wrong with you?! You broke my fucking nose!”

The male on the ground screamed out before Rabbit spoke up, “You were just about to stab me. So what the fuck is wrong with you then?” He asked with an almost dead pan tone to his voice. “Now get out of here before I pick up the knife and go to work on you.” He knelt down and picked up the small blade, holding it gingerly between his fingers as he stared at the small group. They stared at him before they scrambled to pick their leader up and ran away shouting curses over their shoulders.

Rabbit stood there for a moment before looking down at the knife in his palm, staring at it for a long while before pocketing it and continuing on his walk to the store. “See

what happens when you listen to me? You’re alive and they’re not going to cause you anymore trouble. Plus you got yourself a nice little knife to hold onto when things get worse and the people start trying to get at you again.” Rabbit shook his head and chuckled, “You’re right, I should have listened to you from the start.”

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After his trip to the store, Rabbit made his way home “So, you’re a voice in my head? Like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde?” He asked curiously, trying to better understand his newfound “friend”. It only responded with a small laugh before replying “I suppose that is one way to look at it,

an embodiment of your darker instincts. That’s a pretty good way to look at it.”

“Though I’m surprised you’re willing to talk to me, considering you were terrified of me when we first met.” Rabbit only shrugged “You’ve been right the past few times we’ve talked, why wouldn’t I have some kind of trust in you?” He asked as he stepped up to the house, unlocking the door, he pushed his way in before kicking the door shut behind him. “Yes well that may be true but

most people would go running to a doctor if they started hearing a voice telling them what to do.

Then again, maybe you’re a touch insane already and you’re welcoming it with open arms.”

Rabbit actually laughed at that and shook his head, “You wish I was going insane, don’t you?” He dropped the bags of food onto the table and sat down, stretching out in his chair with a yawn he looked up at the clock. “Still got a few hours before anything might happen, I hope.” He took a few minutes to rest before standing back up to put away the groceries. “So, is there any chance that you’d take me over or something like that?” he asked as he put everything away and headed upstairs to his room.

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“There’s always a chance of that sort of thing happening but I’ll be polite about it. I won ‘t take over without your permission, or unless you’re in danger and just standing there like a deer frozen in the headlights again.” Rabbit huffed quietly and sat on his bed “Shut up about that, I was scared alright?

That was a bit more than I’m used to when dealing with those bastards,” he muttered and fell back onto his bed with a sigh.

Rolling onto his side, he stared out the window at the midday sun. “What do you think will happen?”

“There’s really no way to tell to be honest, they might come for you or they might leave you alone. Only time will tell us anything.” Rabbit sighed and nodded “I guess that’s the best thing I can hope for.

You’ll help me if they come, right?” There was a moment of silence before he answered “If it does come down to

that, it’s going to get bloody I’m afraid but I’ll help you if you’re willing to take that kind of risk.” He sighed and curled up, his eyes slowly starting to shut as he fell asleep “I’m willing to go through with it, just try not to hurt anyone that doesn’t deserve it.”

Rabbit awoke quite some time later, glancing around he was surprised to see that his room had been trashed in his sleep. Shooting up to his feet he looked around frantically for any signs of a burglar before the voice spoke again “calm

down, go downstairs and check the living room.”

Rabbit nodded and made his way downstairs silently, clutching the knife in his pocket tightly as he looked around “What am I looking for?” “Check the DVD player, hit play

and you’ll see.”

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Kneeling down beside the DVD player, he hit the play button before retreating to sit on the couch. As the video started up he was greeted by an image of himself, holding the camera up to his face “Ahh, good you’re awake finally.

I was beginning to wonder when you’d come down to see this. Yes I did take over for a bit while you were asleep but I had good reason, which we’ll discuss later. Now then, It’s time for a little lesson time, I’ll be your teacher, Mr. Scratch.”

“I’m going to show you some tools of the trade that you can use to...improve your life in your struggles against the filth of this town.” The camera panned to a table full of various tools and weapons “So, which shall I show to you first, Maybe this guy?” He reached down to pick up a hammer with a bright red handle

“Now this of course is a hammer. No batteries, no moving parts, just simple physics. Now that’s technology you can count on.”

He set the hammer back down and the camera scanned over the objects on the table “Ahh, how about this thing?”

Mr. Scratch reached down to pick up a pearl handled straight razor. “Now this is a classic but you gotta be care-

ful, the person on the other end could suddenly twist and cause you to slice your hand open. Not exactly dependable but I’m a sucker for this kind of style.” He set the razor back down and sighed quietly as a muffled scream could be heard in the background.

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“Ignore that for now, it’s not something you should concern yourself with. Like I said, I’ll explain later on.” The camera stopped on a rather large pocket knife, “Now this is a perfect tool.” Reaching down he picked up the knife and flicked it open with one swift motion. “This little toy has a slip resistant grip

which you’ll need when your wrist deep into someone. The blade is just stiff enough not to open in your pocket but loose enough to open with one hand.”

Setting the knife down another scream could be heard, causing Mr. Scratch to sigh and turn to the direction of the scream, “Shut up in there! I’ll be there in a minute!” He shook his head and looked back to the table, picking up a roll of duct tape he chuckled, “Now I can’t tell you how

many things I’ve macguyvered with this stuff, always keep a few spare rolls.” He set the tape back down and looked over at the last item on the table, a handgun, “Now I know what you’re thinking, oh god a gun.

why use that thing? Well to be perfectly honest, I hate using these things. In fact I downright despise them.”

“I mean, you just don’t get the same connection as with someone as you do with one of the many others tools and toys. So why bother with this you say? In case you need to be quick about something and put down a rabid dog.” Returning the gun to the table, he shook his head before turning to walk towards where the screaming was coming from. “Alright guess it’s time to

show you what’s screaming in the basement.”

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