Spring
2013...
By..Anthony Whitson
Homeless on the Ave I remember the first time I came to the University District or what we call the Ave. Didn't really know anybody and didn't know about any homeless resources or drop-in centers. The people were different. They smelled different, they dressed different, they even did things differently from the area I was raised in. They kind of smelled like spices, like if I lived in India or China. They liked to use a lot of spices in their food, and they dressed like if we were in the 70s or 80s. And you had the skateboarders that liked to wear tank tops and shorts with the low top Chuck Taylors. What I mean by them doing things differently is the way people’s behavior was. People were more polite than rude, everyone was so generous and caring. Everyone down south of Seattle in Rainier Beach, where I was raised, was cocky and rude. They did not care about the community like the U -District does .
I adapted to the new environment quickly. I had a group of homeless teens show me where a lot of resources are that I still come to today. But the only problem was that I was still so young I could not access Roots. Roots is a young adult shelter for teen’s ages 18 -23 years of age. So I just walked around the Ave trying to find a good squat. And a good squat was like a good abandoned frat house that was seized by the City of Seattle but u had to make sure that people don't come by and check on the house , because that could be trouble— possibly a trespassing charge or possibly jail time and nobody wants to be in jail. And all this so I could get some sleep. But some nights I would not sleep because I could not find a safe spot to sleep but after a few year’s of staying on the streets, it doesn't bother you as much. You kind of “let it go.” There would be days and nights where I would be a zombie because I have had very little sleep.
I can remember being out walking around late at night , nothing to do, exhausted from a long day of walking, and I would see things that I thought I’d never have to experience. I never thought that one day I might be homeless in Seattle. It’s a tough world when you are battling to stay alive on these UDistrict streets. It was cold and rainy . I would feel like a towel or a sponge soaking up all that water. Sometimes it would feel like I’d never get dry because I was so cold and wet and it would rain for weeks at times . The only comfort I would have at that time was being somewhere warm like the library or a church that was nearby, and when I would enter the library or church I would be in relief. I could just feel the heat roaring through my soggy clothes and the steam from my clothes warming up. It was a major relief . I also noticed that there was a lot of graffiti on buildings and local businesses. It inspired me a little bit , then one day when it was actually sunny after weeks of rain I seen this Building on 50th and 15th. It was covered with graffiti— all these different styles of graffiti with many different colors and shades. I fell in love with graffiti after that. I started doing graffiti a
lot— I was drawing and coming up with my own styles of graffiti. Then a few years later I realized I could use graffiti to express my thoughts or images that I had up in my brain. And that’s what inspired me to get more creative writing a Zine. And then one day I came up with a brilliant thought. If I am going to be doing graffiti I need to come up with a nickname and a word came to me. A young girl in elementary school always called me Trouble and it kind of was true— I was always getting into some type of trouble. Like being sent to the principals office or just doing something I was not supposed to be doing. Like insubordination, Like not following the rules in class or at break— especially at lunch . I would throw food and milk cartons across the cafeteria. Or curse in class or in the hallways. I was always known for getting into some trouble And as the years went by and I was growing up, I was still getting into trouble. I was about 12-13 years old , And in middle school when I started writing graffiti again and I don't know what it was about writing graffiti but it was an amazing feeling . Every time I would write graffiti it made my mind think about certain words. Sometimes back then I would have to think about what I was going to tag. And I had to get a little bit more creative with graffiti because I had less supplies and less places to do it. In group homes it was against the rules to tag because they thought it was like a gang.
Then I became homeless and I had a lot of things I could use in my graffiti so I picked my number one word I would use when I would do graffiti so people could know who tagged at that spot and it was Troubles because that word has followed me a long way. I started tagging all over the town. I was tagging in the bathrooms at school, on the benches and tables, in the public parks too. Even people’s property. I really started getting deep into my writing and people really loved my artwork. I have drawn a couple tattoos since I have been tagging (for about 4 years now). I just can’t resist writing on something. I enjoy the flow of spray paint or marker going across a smooth surface of some sort .
I' am like I’m like a hungry child crying in the middle of the night for food. I’m like a ghost because I’m so white. I’m like a dog trying to find his way home. I’m like an angry tired dickhead. I’m like an empty stomach growling in the morning.
By..Anthony Whitson
Homelessness Homelessness is a dark shadow trying to follow you, trying to creep up on you at any given moment. It is like a demon trying to get in your soul and if you let it get into your soul completely—you might not ever get that life back. It is like quicksand— it’s not afraid to take you under. You’re like lunch prey. Homelessness is like a game of survival— you have to battle every day to survive. You may never know what will pull you under and you may not pull out of it and who knows—someone might not ever know.
By: Anthony Whitson……….
My life My life has been like a baby cub growing up in the real world where there are all these obstacles and the journey of life that has been given to me. My life is an everyday battle to defend my territory from predator or enemies that may try to invade. My life is a battle for survival running through jungles and exploring all this new land. Crossing over creeks, fighting to stay alive, one day I may become the king of all land like my father did at some time ago long before I was an infant.
By: Anthony Whitson……...
Dedicated to my people I dedicate my Zine to all those people who have put me down And used me. I dedicate my Zine to all the people who have shown me right and stood by my side. This is for those people who are hidden in the darkness Of my shadows. This is for all the people I may never meet. This is for my city of poverty This is dedicated to all the young men and women that may never have the chance to bloom.
By: Anthony Whitson
How it really was Back in the day, we were poor but somehow my mom always managed to get by every month .We didn’t have very much money or food and clothes but we did have each other as a family and plenty of love and grandpa which is my mom’s dad. I remember in the Fall we’d be inside hibernating because all of the rain. In the winter we would go outside the hotel or motel to play in the snow. And in the spring we would be outside playing with our friends. We didn’t always know if we would have a place to sleep at night. I miss the middle school days hanging out with all my friends. I miss the summer time. I love it when it’s warm. I don’t miss the nights where we would have to sleep in a motel or the hotels that we would stay in because my mom was barely getting by, and I ‘am glad I don’t have to do that shit any more. When I think of how it was, I feel good because I know my mom would keep us safe. We would always have food in are belly’s.
BY. Anthony whitson
Seattle Washington...
AKA Troublez