Shattered Universes

Shattered

Universes By: Piotr N. Yolkenikov 12/13/12

Love is over rated Love is like a butterfly Oh my how it flutters by.

Its wings brushing past your face Or how it troubles your heart with pains.

Love is like a memory, Ever constant and never dying.

It can sometimes make you feel like flying Sometimes it leaves you crying.

Love is a smell you don’t smell But you know very well Because of the way it makes your heart swell.

Love is overrated I’d rather be hated Because I’m afraid of my heart being played with.

Why are you creative?

I’m creative because I exist Others cannot resist My creative vibe.

It will help you unwind I don’t want a piece of the pie, I just want to write, but My hand hurts so carry me in a Hearse.

I’m done, not a bum.

To thrive What I need in My life to thrive is to be alive and free.

Please listen to Me as I beg and plea let me be free.

Unchain the shackles, and let My fire crackle, let My fire burn until it hurts the world for every time it turns.

I scream let Me out of this hive mind, because I want to thrive while I’m still at the prime of My life.

What you are doing to Me is a crime against life.

Let Me thrive.

You will be surprised to find that I do not like your crimes, every times some one dies, or cries because of your deceitful lies.

Because every tear, and every fear will let Me know that you are near.

Every time I see you, or your kind, I’ll rip your fucking eyes out, while you plucking My Brains out.

Let Me thrive!

I am I am like a cityI am not pretty, I’m gritty.

I am like a stone, I have no tone I have no skills to hone.

I am as a bird but there are no words because My throat hurts.

I am in pain with nothing to gain. life is like a game.

I am the burning flame. everything taste plain and life is still profane.

A summers day

It’s a nice summers day just sitting on My Porch sipping Lemonade There is lots of time for Me to play.

I can feel a nice warm breeze blowing past My knees.

Some dust blows by and I sneeze.

I just spilled My Lemonade, jeeze. it looks like I just peedI really wish I didn’t sneeze.

Untitled Drop Clop Shot Shop Hot Not Dot Hop Clock Dock Pop Rock Shock Top Lot Cod Pod

Dos

My safe place My safe place is far away in the mountains. The smell of earth entering My nostrils as I take a deep breath of cold crisp air that feels like winters first snow. The taste of the water that I drink is as glacier runoff, and minerals, yet so pure and good to me. It would be surrounded with trees so old, but they would never die or molt. From the highest summit, I’d be able to see a blanket of green ocean, with jagged beautiful teeth, and clear, clean blue skies above.

My Hands My hands are formless like water How they move is a mystery to Me. My Hands can flow like a calm water, or come crashing down like a violent torrent.

My Hands can flow like water because My Hands are water.

I am water.

I am shapeless like water, while at the same time, I have a shape.

I am the master of water.

I am the master over myself.

I’m missing something I’m missing something, and I don’t know what it is.

There is a big emotional hole where My Heart should be. Oh how it pains me so. What is it from? Could it be because I miss My Mother? She never was in My life after all. Maybe I need a mother, or maybe I don’t.

I’m missing something, and I don’t know what it is.

Could my Heart be repaired? Can that hole be filled?

Can I, or will I ever be truly happy?

I’m missing something, and I don’t know what it is.

My Father was never in my life either. He sluffed off the responsibility, and left for something supposedly greater than Me. What cause could be so great that he could leave His Sons? Does He know that My Brothers are dead? Does He know, or even care that I’m still alive? Will I ever find Him? When I find Him, what will I do? Will I hug Him, or will I punch Him? I’m missing something, and I can’t fill this hole...

Shattered Universes My entire universe has just been shattered, right now My life doesn’t seem to matter, it never mattered. This world isn’t real. I’m not alive, how can I be alive when all I feel is pain, and everything joyful is taken from Me. My heart is a black hole, it sounds cliché, but you’re not Me. Be thankful you’re not Me. My life sucks. I actually thought she cared about Me, then I find out She could easily be taken. We had a child. She was beautiful to look upon, and warm to hold, I love holding her, My Daughter, but that got taken away also. The system always tries to find a way to screw me over. In the end, I’m such a failure. I failed to protect what was, and should have been mine. “I want my child back” I plea. “ You are an unsuitable guardian.

Your daughter will never know you.” They answer, as they make yet another orphan. I’m lost now, and can’t find my way back to where I need to be. I have friends, but I want more in life. I’m so lonely. I feel dead. Am I dead? Death is a serendipitous experience. I no longer feel the warmth that once flooded through my heart.

Am I alive? What does life feel like to other people?

Are they suffering? Every one suffers. It’s a part of life.

Life, death. What does it matter. None of this is actually real. I’m not really writing this, and you’re not really reading it. Your minds perception of reality is limited… My mind’s perception of reality is limited…

More out of Life I want My child back. I want that woman who will never leave my side, and who can also be a good mother. I want that perfect job. I need more moral support. I need a father, or mentor. I’m turning down a path no one can follow, and I need someone to stop me. My heart is broken, and I’m broken. I need some one to fix Me. I need a companion, a partner in crime, a dog, a cat, or a person. I need to be fixed. I can’t live broken. Someone, please hear my cries of pain, and fix Me. Just hold Me in your arms, and tell Me you’ll always be there for Me, and that I’ll be fine. I need more out of life…

Eulogy of a soldier part 1 Basics We all got here on the same day. A hundred and eighty five weak group of untrained recruits, and twice as many untrained nervous eyes, almost all of them where blue, accept a few, and mine. We all got our hair cut the same way. We all ate at the same time at Mess Hall. We all fell asleep at the same time in the Barracks. We all woke up at the same time at 4:30 sharp, if you didn’t wake up, every one as a group got punished. Everyone did drills together. We all disassembled, reassembled our weapons at relativity the same time, slapped a magazine in, pull the hammer back, and chamber a round at the same time, in that order, on the order, all within two minutes, then did drills till the day was over at 8:00 sharp. We all went to dinner at the same time, then went to bed at 8:30 sharp, unless you were on guard duty for the first shift.

The day is over, now we all repeat our day tomorrow, then the day after that, and on and on for five months. Then We became soldiers.

Eulogy of a soldier part 2 He was Me, We were Us He was me, and we were us.

He was My entire universe.

He was me, in a sense. He was My Twin. We were twins.

He left My life on August 27th, 2007. He died of a shrapnel wound. I died of a broken heart… No, We died… He’s dead, and I’m still here, reluctantly, and that’s how it has to be...