shep01_cover.indd 1
5/2/2014 12:53:09 AM
shep02_kwpride.indd 1
5/2/2014 12:53:22 AM
shep03_olivia.indd 1
5/2/2014 12:53:33 AM
shep04_scene.indd 1
5/2/2014 12:53:51 AM
shep23_giw.indd 1
3/31/2014 2:22:39 AM
director’s chair
Today, I met a 20 year-old girl who is about to become a mom. Before I go any further, let me just quickly say how glad I am that I didn’t say “…thirteen year-old.” But yes, I did call her a girl rather than a woman, mostly because she really is still a girl. She’s 20—the kind of 20 that a month away from becoming a mom, has already secured a babysitter for her 21st birthday. I know. It’s so cute. And she still has that innocence about her—that unicorns poop rainbows that spray a shimmery coat of glitter on the walls of your bedroom kind of Pollyanna outlook, which lasts right up until your “little angel” chucks a big fat plate of spaghetti with tomato sauce at you and screams, “Nooooo!” Ah, the beauty of motherhood. The toddler in our house has hit that perfect spot between two and three where children go from angel to demon in the blink of an eye. Virtually every night at our family dinner table consists of the answer to every other question being, “No,” and at least one attempt to hurl something. Most of the time that comes from the “little angel,” but I am not going to lie and tell you there haven’t been a few nights when it has come from me. I’m beginning to think that two year-old girls have PMS every day for that entire year, just so they can skip the next ten. Either that or it’s some kind of cosmic payback for all the times I pissed my mom off in the last decade. My mom would definitely say it’s the latter. I’ll be vulnerably honest with you. I joke about her having PMS and flipping the switch to the dark side at the drop of a hat. But no matter how crazy she gets and frustrated I become, the instant she looks at me, tilts her head to the side, flashes me her best “Bling” smile and says, “Love you so much. You’re my favorite,” my heart becomes a pile of mush on the floor and I become sure I just saw a unicorn poop out some rainbowy glitter across the room. So, back to the 20 year-old. I’m not talking about some girl who went out partying one night and came home pregnant. She hasn’t been walking around trying to hide a baby bump for the last six months. No, she is becoming a mom next month because she is getting custody of her five year-old sister, who has already had one cancer experience in her tiny life. This 20 year-old is stepping up and in to do something that the parents will not. And she couldn’t be more excited about it. Now that I think about it, it sounds to me like she’s already being more of a man than her father and more of a woman than his baby-mama. I’m glad that I met her. She is that glittery, rainbow unicorn poop reminder for me that there are other people out there who become moms for all the right reasons, even when it’s not their responsibility. And if that doesn’t make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside then nothing will. See you next month.
Tina Sordellini Managing Executive Editor
shep06ednote.indd 1
MANAGING EXECUTIVE EDITOR Tina Sordellini PUBLICITY SHE ESPAÑOL EXECUTIVE EDITOR Maria Espinal ASSOCIATE EDITORS Marissa Cohen • Shawn Nicholson Denise Warner • Donna Woessner CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Marissa Cohen • Verónica Espinal The Village Sage • Miriam Cronkhite Tina Sordellini • Denise Warner CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERS Verónica Espinal • Yadira Claralt Shawn Nicholson • Angie Sowers Juan Saco Mironoff • Boi-Photography SALES ASSOCIATES Maria Espinal • Diana Price Marissa Cohen• Donna Woessner ads@shemag.com DISTRIBUTION JR Davis • Randy Justice SUBSCRIPTIONS www.shemag.com EDITORIAL OFFICE 6511 Nova Drive, #173 • Davie, FL 33317 954.354.9751 office info@shemag.com • www.shemag.com
SHE: WOMEN OWNED, WOMEN OPERATED, WOMEN EMPOWERED! The ideas and opinions expressed in She Magazine do not necessarily reflect opinions of Shemag, L.L.C., She Magazine, or of editors or staff. Publication of the name or photograph of any person or organization should not be construed as any indication of the sexual orientation of that person or organization. All advertising subject to approval by She Magazine. She Magazine/Shemag, L.L.C. is not responsible for unauthorized use or copyright infringement as present in camera ready, client provided ads, nor is it liable for any loss or suit arising from submitted advertisement, copy, photography, or artwork. Reproduction of She Magazine, in whole or in part, is strictly prohibited without the express written consent of Shemag, L.L.C.
5/2/2014 2:32:45 AM
shep07_ag.indd 1
5/2/2014 12:54:02 AM
may 2014 / VOLUME 16 / ISSUE 4
IN THIS ISSUE
16
20 features
16 TABATHA COFFEY Learn how to juggle home and career with Tabatha’s new book, Own It!
18 GIRLS IN WONDERLAND
All you need to know to have fun at the largest all-girl resort takeover, celebrating its 14th year in Orlando, FL. Get ready!
20 LAURA PREPON
An exclusive interview with Laura Prepon as we all get ready to wacth Orange Is The new Black season two and wait for the first season’s arrival in DVD this month.
26 DALILA ALI RAJAH
From Cherry Bomb to her guest role on Grey’s Anatomy, we catch up with this talented actor, writer, producer and mom on her latest projects.
departments
06 DIRECTOR’S CHAIR 10 MULTIMEDIA 14 IN THE NEWS 15 CALENDAR OF EVENTS 24 SHE GIRL Meet Melissa, from St. Petersburg/Tampa, FL
34 ON THE SHELVES 34 ARCHIVES 38 SCOPES
18
she espaÑol 30 NOTICIAS Entérate lo que sucede en nuestros países.
31 SOY MUJER Entérate lo que sucede en nuestros países.
photos 04 SHE SCENE 12 MIAMI BEACH GAY PRIDE 29 THE DINAH 32 FLING
follow she FACEBOOK.com/SheMagazineFL search: She Mag / Like Us: She Magazine TWITTER.com/SheMagazine INSTAGRAM.com/SheMagazine LINKEDIN.com/She_Magazine GOOGLE.com/+SheMagazineFlorida
apps
M.ISSUU.com on your Android Search: shemagazine / Free application ISSUU.com/shemagazine iPad,iPhone & iPod compatible
26
>> READ OUR FREE DIGITAL EDITION AT WWW.SHEMAG.COM
shep08_InThisIssue.indd 1
5/2/2014 12:54:21 AM
shep09_mglff.indd 1
5/2/2014 12:54:33 AM
MULTIMEDIA
with Marissa Cohen
Unrepentant Geraldines by Tori Amos explores strong and “unrepentant” women and different stages in women’s lives. These original tracks were inspired by many concepts: from trailblazers such as photographer Diane Arbus to mother-daughter relationships (Amos’ daughter appears as a duet partner on “Promise”) and finding peace and confidence in “Oysters.” In “16 Shades of Blue,” she explores ageing in America and the spark of danger in “Trouble’s Lament.” Available May 13.
The second season of Orphan Black is back on BBC America. Of course, Tatiana Maslany returns as several identical women who are clones. Streetwise Sarah Manning continues to unravel the mysteries of her clones, which include a cop, a soccer mom and a grad student studying evolutionary developmental biology. At the end of season one, Sarah discovers that her daughter has disappeared. With Dylan Bruce, Evelyne Brochu, Maria Doyle Kennedy. Airs Saturdays at 9pm.
Walk of Shame follows news anchor Meghan Miles (30 Rock’s Elizabeth Banks) during the most high-stakes walk of shame of her life when a one-night stand leaves her stranded in L.A. without a car, a phone, or cash and only eight hours to make it to a groundbreaking job interview. Banks has also appeared in The Hunger Games and The Lego Movie. With James Marsden, Gillian Jacobs and Sarah Wright. In theaters now.
Sarah McLachlan’s latest, Shine On, is the three-time Grammy Winner’s eighth studio album. McLachlan states, “this album is about moving through the second half of my life in a more mindful and meaningful way,” and speaks to learning to find her balance after the loss of her father. With eleven original tracks, Shine On promises to be yet another moving album from this musical legend. Available May 6.
Mistresses returns for a second season on ABC (June 2, 10 pm). Based on the smash hit UK series, Mistresses follows sassy, sexy and strong girlfriends who navigate love and their own boundaries in the quest for true love. Lawyer Savi (Alyssa Milano), single mom April (Rochelle Aytes), Dr. Karen Kim, a psychiatrist with a checkered past (Yunjin Kim) and real estate agent and Savi’s younger sister Joss (Jes Macallan) make up the fabulous foursome.
In Maleficent, Angelina Jolie is bad to the bone as Sleeping Beauty’s nemesis. This dark version from Walt Disney Studios shows the events of Sleeping Beauty from Maleficent’s point of view. As the ultimate and self proclaimed “Mistress of all Evil,” she torments young Sleeping Beauty (Elle Fanning) by putting her to sleep and fiercely guarding the surrounding lands. With Sharlto Copley, Imelda Staunton, Juno Temple. In theaters May 30.
NOT TO BE MISSED: Aussie transplant Iggy Azalea’s latest CD, The New Classic is in stores now. Check out the hit singles “Bounce” and “Change Your Life.” SHE - 10 - 05/14
shep10media.indd 1
5/2/2014 12:54:46 AM
shep11_magicity.indd 1
5/2/2014 12:55:02 AM
the 6th annual miami beach gay pride’s parade and festival on ocean drive and lummus park in miami beach. this year, the 2-day event welcomed an estimated 100,000! photos by verónica espinal & rock ur photo & production. view more photos at www.shemag.com
SHE - 12 - 05/14
shep12_mbgpPICS.indd 1
5/2/2014 12:56:49 AM
SHE - 13 - 05/14
shep13_playpg.indd 1
5/2/2014 9:45:49 AM
in the news U.S. Marks Decade of Same-Sex Couples Marrying as Freedom to Marry Celebrates 10th Anniversary
MAY
in lgbt history May 3, 1989—Christine Jorgenson, the first
Ten years ago Massachusetts became the first state in America where same-sex couples could share in the freedom to marry. Since then, 16 other states and Washington, D.C. have followed, resulting in 40% of Americans who now live in a state with the freedom to marry, up from zero a decade ago. “The rapid and lasting progress of the freedom to marry movement is remarkable in the history of civil rights struggles,” said Evan Wolfson, president of Freedom to Marry. “The shift in majority opinion since Massachusetts is a testament to Americans’ inherent values of fairness, freedom, and family. We will keep making the case until we finish the job: the freedom to marry nationwide.” Same-sex couples began marrying in Massachusetts on May 17, 2004 following the landmark victory by Gay & Lesbian Advocates & Defenders (GLAD) in Goodridge v. Department of Public Health. That first day of the freedom to marry in 2004 also marked the 50th anniversary of Brown v. Board of Education—“civil rights karma,” Wolfson hailed it at the time. Hillary and Julie Goodridge were the first couple to legally wed in Massachusetts after nearly two decades together. The coupled filed for divorce in January 2009. In another milestone, Freedom to Marry recently celebrated its 10th anniversary in
photo: CBS News
New York featuring a debut film version of a poem written for the occasion by Presidential Inaugural Poet Richard Blanco, selected for the 2014 Cannes Film Festival; and tributes to Freedom to Marry’s leadership by U.S. Senator Tammy Baldwin and GOP strategist Margaret Hoover. “All of this progress, this joy, this momentum, didn’t just happen,” said Wolfson at the anniversary celebration on April 28th. “It wasn’t the product of one organization, one person, one case, one state, one battle, or even one decade...With your help, there will be no 15th [anniversary].” Freedom to Marry is the campaign to win marriage nationwide. They are pursuing its Roadmap to Victory by working to win the freedom to marry in more states, grow the national majority for marriage, and end federal marriage discrimination.
what she said about... “If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the problem. In this instance,
Speaker Boehner is the problem. His intransigence on fixing our broken immigration system is inflicting cruel and unusual punishment on millions of vulnerable undocumented immigrants and their families. He must act now and do the right thing for these 11 million immigrants, over a quarter of a million of whom are lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender. Immigrants and their families need a real pathway to citizenship, not unnecessary political gridlock. All they want is to be able to fulfill the promise of America and access the American Dream.”
—Rea Carey, The National Gay & Lesbian Task Force’s Executive Director on April 30th. She was arrested while protesting the US House leadership’s inaction on fair immigration reform.
American trans woman, died of bladder and lung cancer at age 62. May 3, 2010—People magazine reported that Chely Wright had come out publicly. May 4, 2010—Chely Wright released both her memoir of being a closeted lesbian, Like Me, and her first album of new songs since 2005, Lifted Off the Ground. She is the first major country music artist to come out as gay. May 6, 1868—Karl-Maria Kertbeny, an Austrian-born Hungarian journalist & humar rights activist, coins the Terms “Homosexual” and “Heterosexual.” May 6, 2009—Same-sex marriage becomes legal in Maine. May 7, 2013—Delaware legalizes same-sex marriage. It went into effect in July. May 9—2012—Excerpts from an interview with ABC air in which President Barack Obama endorses same-sex marriage, the first such statement by a sitting President. May 12, 2005—A federal judge strikes down Nebraska’s ban on protection and recognition of same-sex couples. May 14, 2013—Minnesota Gov. Mark Dayton signs a bill giving same-sex couples the right to marry. The law went into effect in August 2013. May 15, 2008—The California Supreme Court rules that the state’s ban on same-sex marriages is unconstitutional. The decision went into effect on June 16th. May 17, 2004—Massachusetts legalizes samesex marriage, the first state in the U.S. to do so. May 17, 2004—Transsexual Athletes Allowed to Compete in Olympic Games. May 22, 1967—U.S. Supreme Court Upholds Law Preventing Immigration of Gays and Lesbians. May 25, 1895—Oscar Wilde Is Convicted of Gross Indecency. May 25, 2001—Japanese Human Rights Council Recommends Lesbian and Gay Rights. May 26, 2009—The California Supreme Court upholds the passage of Proposition 8, banning same-sex marriage. May 30, 1987—U.S. Congressman Barney Frank Comes Out as Gay. May 31, 2012—The 1st U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals in Boston rules that the Defense of Marriage Act, (DOMA), discriminates against gay couples. Sources: Historic Calendar Project, Wikipedia, Library of Congress, Gay and Lesbian Issues, CNN.
SHE - 14 - 05/14
shep14_15_News.indd 1
5/2/2014 12:57:10 AM
TO DO TO GO
Strong Families Launches Nationwide WHAT “Mamas Day” Campaign, May 5-11 WHERE Mothers come in all ages, ethnicities and sexual orientations and the Mamas Day campaign aims to celebrate this diversity for the fourth year in a row.
As part of its effort to improve the day-to-day conditions facing mothers and families, and expand our idea of what a mama is, Forward Together is launching its Strong Families Mamas Day campaign. Mamas Day asks people to share their unique stories through social media channels and diverse collection of e-cards. Whether you are a mama or you’re honoring your own mama, your story is likely different from the idealized version most often portrayed. For the fourth year, the Mamas Day campaign will give individuals the opportunity to send Mamas Day cards that connect more directly to their own experience than a card found at the local drug store. “By seeing families as they really are we can work towards replacing dated public policies with ones that help mothers and their families thrive,” says Shen. Forward Together and Strong Families invite people nationwide to participate in this year’s Mamas Day Campaign from May 5-11. Over the years, Forward Together has worked with more than 20 artists to create original, customizable e-cards to celebrate loved ones. Last year, thousands of people customized and shared e-cards depicting the diversity of mamas across the United States. In addition to the collection of e-cards, 40 diverse voices contributed their individual stories and experiences of “mamahood” as a part of this year’s Mamas Day blog series. All materials are available at www.mamasday.org. Members of the media and the general public can follow this year’s campaign via social media with the #MamasDay hashtag as well as on the Strong Families Facebook page and on Twitter at @StrongFams.
babes & brews happy hour for a good cause
May 9 • 7:30PM - 10:30PM Florida Avenue Ales 4101 N. Florida Ave • Tampa, FL metrotampabay.org SAVE’s Champions of equality
May 9 • 6PM - 9:30PM Hyatt Regency Hotel Miami savedade.org aqua girl’s Fort Lauderdale cocktail reception
May 10 • 7PM - 10PM 1600 E. Las Olas Blvd. aqua girl
May 14 - 18 • Various times/locations aquagirl.org Thinking Cap Theatre’s: “Hot Dog”
May 15 - June 1 Thurs - Sat 8pm • Sun 3pm Black Box Theater at NSU 3301 College Avenue • Davie, FL thinkingcaptheatre.com cher: dressed to kill tour
May 17 • 7:30PM BB&T Center • One Panther Pkwy., Sunrise Dance Cruise Aboard the Carrie B
May 17 • 8PM - 11PM, boarding 7:30PM 440 N. New River Dr. E • Ft. Lauderdale Call Flo at 954.274.8537 Miami Pinup Festival
Fl Couples & Equality Florida Ask Court to Declare State’s Ban on Marriage for Same-Sex Couples Unconstitutional On May 1st, the plaintiffs challenging the State of Florida’s refusal to permit same-sex couples to marry asked a state court to rule that the state’s ban on marriage equality is unconstitutional. In their motion, the six couples and Equality Florida Institute argue that Florida’s ban on marriage equality violates the Equal Protection and Due Process Clauses of the United States Constitution. The motion filed that same day, asserts that Florida’s marriage ban cannot stand in light of the Supreme Court’s ruling last June that the federal “Defense of Marriage Act” violates the federal constitutional guarantees of equal protection and due process. The couples’ papers note that every court to consider these federal constitutional claims since last summer’s Supreme Court decision has ruled in favor of the freedom to marry for same-sex couples. This includes federal courts in Utah, Ohio, Oklahoma, Kentucky, Illinois, Michigan, Tennessee, Texas, and Virginia. “We are confident when we have our day in court, Florida will stand with other courts across the country in concluding these laws violate the basic principles of fairness and equality for all,” said Equality Florida Institute’s Executive Director Nadine Smith. The couples are from Miami and the surrounding area. getengaged.org /eqfl.org
May 23 - 25 • 2PM - 3AM The Miami Airport Convention Center 711 NW 72ND Avenue • Miami pinupfestival.com GFLGLCC’s Monthly Lunch, Learn & Network
May 27 • Noon Dapur Restaurant • Fort Lauderdale gflglcc.org Uh Huh Her Live
May 27 • 8PM The Social • 54 North Orange Avenue Orlando, FL 32801 thebeacham.com lesbians of color group
May 27 • 7:30PM - 9PM thecenterorlando.org
SHE - 15 - 05/14
shep14_15_News.indd 2
5/2/2014 12:57:11 AM
by denise warner
feature
learn how to
juggle home and career
with tabatha Coffey’s new book, “Own It!” You start off Own It! by saying you’re well aware that you’re a bit*h. Does being a bit*h have a down side?
Yes, I think it [impacts] people’s perception of you. I think that’s what everyone likes to label me. A lot of women who stand up for themselves or are outspoken and successful, that’s the kind of label people put on it. I’ve come up with an acronym for it: “Brave, Intelligent, Tenacious, Creative and Honest.” It makes me feel better and takes away the stigma. There’s an empowerment that comes with that acronym. Own It! is a really no-nonsense approach to owning a business, but it also deals a lot with self awareness and awareness of others. What has given you this talent for reading people so well?
I think a lot of it is really liking people and being a great observer. I can sit back and observe what people say without them saying it. Part of my career is being on top of that. Also, being able to communicate with people to get a great end result has definitely helped me become a good people reader. Does it ever amaze you when people ask for your help and then are completely defensive when you tell them what they’re doing wrong?
Known for her no-nonsense approach and savvy business expertise, Tabatha Coffey (soon to turn 45 on May 17) has been widely credited for her ability to transform people’s lives and help struggling businesses. We all started to love/hate her back when she served as a contestant on Bravo’s Shear Genius (she was eliminated in episode six but won $10,000 as the show’s fan favorite). In 2008, she debuted with her own show, Tabatha Takes Over; her fifth season recently ended. She knows what you think of her. You can say what you want, but a “b*tch” to Tabatha Coffey just means, “Brave, Intelligent, Tenacious, Creative, Honest.” In her new and second book, Own It! Be the Boss of Your Life—at Home and in the Workplace, released in April, she explains that and a whole lot more. With tips in all areas, including entrepreneurship, customer service and management, Coffey’s latest book also teaches busy men and women how to juggle their home lives with their careers. I recently had a great conversation with this edgy, adorable entrepreneur, stylist and author about Own It!, and she does.
In the context of going into someone’s business and trying to help them, it gets really frustrating because usually there is a better way of doing things. It’s incredibly obvious, the things they’re doing wrong. When you point it out, they just don’t want to see it. That’s frustrating to me because I’m there to help them be better. But, look, change is hard for everyone. It’s scary to a lot of people. I found that most people would rather sit back and do absolutely nothing, even if it’s to change a bad situation, instead of jumping in and taking a leap of faith.
SHE - 16 - 05/14
shep16_17_tabatha.indd 1
5/2/2014 12:57:36 AM
I get the feeling that once people get past that initial fear, they’re a bit more open to change and the next time they have to do it, it’s not as hard. So, you’re actually teaching them something really valuable.
It becomes habitual. Change can become a habit they get used to. Once they’ve done it and realize, “I did it, I did this differently and the world didn’t stop spinning. Nothing catastrophic happened,” the next time change is not as hard. They become more open instead of stagnant and rigid. I loved that your mother became quite the entrepreneur when she had to. Can you talk about that?
She was a huge influence on me. She was such a character. Such a strong personality. She pretty much brought me up as a single parent and had such an honest approach to everything. Nothing was sugar coated. It was probably the best way I learned to face life. It was always like, “Here’s the situation. It isn’t good, but we’re going to be fine.” That kind of tough love and honesty has been my philosophy through life because of her. When I started thinking about what’s helped me to be successful, I wanted to include her because she’s such a huge part. This book is really written in the Tabatha tone. It totally cuts through any bullsh*t. How does that tone go over on dates or with partners?
It works for me. I mean everyone that I’m close to—my family, close friends, my partner— they’re used to me. I don’t walk around giving my opinion unless you solicit it, but if you ask me, I’m going to tell you the truth. I think everyone appreciates that and knows that I get right to the point, but I am also the first person who will be there as your cheerleader. I’ll help you get through the bullsh*t to get you where you need to be. People recognize you instantly. Do you ever get used to that?
Well, my look is my look. I’ve had it for a long time. I’m used to people looking. I’m sure there are several, but not many, girls who walk around in 6 ½ inch heels, with super short white hair, dressed in all black. Am I completely used to it? No. There are times when I just run to the grocery store and I don’t look like the Tabatha you usually see on TV. When people realize it’s me, they just stare and whisper. I have to stop myself from saying, instinctively, “What are you looking at?”
“...most people would rather sit back and do absolutely nothing, even if it’s to change a bad situation, instead of jumping in and taking a leap of faith.” (laughs) I have to remind myself that they know me from TV and I just go back to minding my own business. In the book, you talk about “your look” and the thought that goes into it. What’s the first step in finding a look that works?
You have to be comfortable. I think as women, we sometimes dress for other people and not for ourselves. That can be okay once in a while because it’s nice when you get a compliment, but you have to dress for yourself. There’s nothing worse than being in something you wouldn’t typically wear and feeling uncomfortable. So, I think it’s about finding what’s comfortable for you. For me, that may not necessarily be about following the trends. I love fashion. I love what’s in fashion at the moment, but I’m well aware that I can’t wear all of it. So, I’ll take whatever piece of that look and incorporate it into my life. Getting to know yourself enough to have your own style is empowering. When you do find it, you’re owning it. What do you look for in someone?
Women of any age that look really attractive, incredible and sexy. They aren’t the women who are the prettiest or the youngest or have the best bodies in the room. They are the women who are confident and carry themselves well because they’re comfortable in their own skin. I have you pegged for a super serious, pretty intense person. What’s fun?
No, I am a super intense, serious person (laughs). Honestly, I’m not super silly or anything, but I can be… I can be ditzy sometimes. I make fun of myself for having my dumb blonde moments. I love to cook. That’s probably my number one relaxing thing. I’m a real homebody. I love to clean. I find it therapeutic. I love to just scrub down my house and clear out and organize. I love to read. I love hiding away with a good book. Give me a great book and I’m perfectly happy. Underneath it all, what I see is a woman
who really does enjoy helping people.
I really do. I mean, I know the perception that people have of me, but I think between the books and the TV shows, people are getting to know me a little better. I’m letting them get to know me more. But the “b*tch” thing, always brings up a feeling that you’re mean, self-serving and nasty. I’m not that. I’m a huge cheerleader for people and I’m so loyal. If I’m in your corner, I’ll do anything to help you. I do love people. I love helping them figure out their things and then sit back and watch them succeed. Is it hard when you check back in with the people you’ve helped to find they’ve slipped back to their old ways?
Oh, it’s awful. I mean, sometimes I don’t know what I’m going to walk back into. Sometimes I don’t really know if a person’s behaviors are going to change, or if they really do get it. If I go back and see the exact crazy mess I stepped into before, it is upsetting. I root for the people that I help. What I liked about the beginning of your book is that you tell the readers to envision themselves handing over their keys to you. Now that I’m almost finished, I can’t wait to see if I get my keys back!
I think it’s always good to have someone on your shoulder. For me, it was always my mother. That person behind you that can get you out of your own way, or give you a compliment when you need it is like a watchdog. That was kind of the premise of the book, for you to think of me as being right there, guiding you and helping you. It doesn’t have to be a business. You are your own brand and person. You represent yourself and how you want to be successful. So, in this book, these are things I did in my life before and after I owned a business. Hopefully, it helps the people who are interested. facebook.com/officialtabatha and @TabathaCoffey
SHE - 17 - 05/14
shep16_17_tabatha.indd 2
5/2/2014 12:57:36 AM
feature
Girls in
wonderland
Celebrates Equality at Gay Days | orlando, FL june 5 - 9 Girls In Wonderland, now celebrating its 14th year, is more than just a party. It’s the largest all-girl resort takeover in the country and the parties and fun are non-stop all weekend! From June 5 – 9, there is nowhere else you should be but in Orlando, FL frolicking with thousands of women from around the country for a truly magical weekend in Wonderland (Girls In Wonderland that is). The team over at Pandora Events, responsible for producing some of the biggest and best women’s events and destination weekends in the country, is sprinkling their fairy dust on this year’s party planning. Pandora promises a weekend to remember with big laughs from Suzanne Westenhoefer, hot celesbian fun with The Real L Word and VH1 Couples Therapy alumni, Whitney Mixter, Bad Girl, Lea Lorraine, and dynamic duo rockers, Halcyon, and local favorite from Kourtney and Kim Take Miami, Dani Campbell. Mix that with a lineup of fierce girl DJs, featuring NYC touring superstar, Whitney Day, DJ Pat Pat, Bonnie Beats and sexy babes on stage, Baby Blue, Ivy Les Vixen, Vikerrious Vixen, Spikey Dikey, Katie James and the views will be a-plenty. If the dance parties, pool parties, comedy shows, concerts, celebri-
ties and thousands of women weren’t enough, check out the second Annual Dine Out, a three course dinner and live jazz performance at the critically acclaimed restaurant, Citrus. Best of all, 100% of the proceeds will benefit the Zebra Coalition, a non-profit network of organizations which provide services to Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender youth. We will also be celebrating our second year at our new headquarters for Girls in Wonderland and the only all-women’s host resort is the newly designed Sheraton Lake Buena Vista Resort. Guests will enjoy luxury rooms, most overlooking the beautiful pools of the Palms Pool Club, featuring two pools, a full service cabana bar and grill, fire pit and water wall. If you want to relax, head up to the Top of the Palms Spa for a massage or facial before dancing the night away. If you’re looking to get a bite to eat or a signature cocktail, visit the Zest restaurant and lounge. Best of all, rooms start at just $119 a night. Hotel guests will get lots of great perks like free welcome parties on Wednesday and Thursday evening along with two pool party passes per room to enjoy all the fun. The immediate goal is your pure satisfaction. But this feel good weekend is also a do-good event. Pandora producers concur: “We are pioneers in producing women’s events for charity. Good causes motivate us!” Indeed, Girls in Wonderland pays a portion of the weekend’s proceeds to the trailblazing National Council for Lesbian Rights (NCLR). This dynamic group is committed to the rights and safety of lesbians and the greater LGBT community and their families through litigation, public policy and education. Pandora’s mission to connect and strengthen the gay female community in the context of total enjoyment and relaxation is fully flourishing. At Girls in Wonderland, there is something for everyone to enjoy, so back your bags, grab your friends and head to wonderland!
SCHEDULE OF EVENTS Thursday - June 5
BUD LIGHT HAPPY HOUR • 5PM - 7PM After you’ve checked in, mix and mingle with new friends at the 27 Palms Pool Club. Check out the new poolside cabana and fire pit at our fabulous new home. Sheraton Lake Buena Vista Resort • 12205 S Apopka Vineland Road DINE OUT • 7pm - 9:30pm A benefit for the Zebra Coalition. An evening of wonderful food, wine and new friends at one of the best restaurants in Orlando all to benefit the Zebra Coalition, a network of organizations which provide services to Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and all youth (LGBT+). Enjoy a three-course dinner and wine pairing. $60 in advance • Citrus • 821 North Orange Avenue TRAFFIC JAM
all-girl resort takeover
• 10pm - 2:30am Women are taking over the hottest venue in Orlando for this kickoff dance party that lives up to its name! Red means she’s taken. Yellow means approach with caution. Green means GO FOR IT! Sexy go-go girls work the traffic all night long and hot DJs keep the main floor jumpin’. This night is packed, so get there early.
SHE - 18 - 05/14
shep18_19_giw.indd 1
5/2/2014 12:56:23 AM
$10 in advance and $13 at the Door Ember • 42 W Central Blvd.
Saturday - June 7
SPLASH POOL PARTY 11 am – 5 pm Frolic and splash around at our infamous sun-drenched pool party. Sip tropical cocktails and listen to the sexy sounds of DJ Whitney Day and DJ Pat Pat. Poolside games and giveaways too. $12 in advance / $20 at the Door Sheraton Lake Buena Vista Resort
Friday - June 6
WET POOL PARTY • 12pm – 5 pm Get “wet” at the first pool party of the weekend. Indulge in the scenery. Relax, swim, eat, drink and dance at our new pool while DJ Rob makes waves on the turntables. Cabanas and VIP Bottle Service are available. $12/Advance – $15/Door Sheraton Lake Buena Vista Resort
Girls in Wonderland (Signature Event) • 8pm – 2am The weekend’s hottest ticket! 2500 women take over the dance floor moving to dirty disco and top 40 beats with DJ Pat Pat and Guest DJ on the turntables. Eye candy on the boxes all night. Live women’s music outdoors on the patio and terrace. Contest and prizes for best Disco Outfit. $26 in advance / $31 at the door / $69 VIP ticket in advance House of Blues • 1490 E. Buena Vista Dr. Lake Buena Vista
NCLR WELCOME COCKTAIL RECEPTION • 5pm – 7pm Here’s your chance to meet the amazing ladies of the National Center for Lesbian Rights over colorful cocktails, hors d’oeuvres, and live music. Also, you can pick up information on the weekend’s parties and play for giveaways! Free Event. Sheraton Lake Buena Vista Resort
OUT FOR LAUGHS COMEDY SHOW – SUZANNE WESTENHOEFER • 7:30pm – 9:30pm Join us for an evening of laughs with one of today’s hottest lesbian comics. Suzanne Westenhoefer’s ground-breaking career as the first openly gay comedian ever to appear on television includes appearances on Letterman, HBO, Bravo, Logo and GSN as well as performances across the US in popular theaters, clubs and fundraisers. $25 in advance / $30 at the door Sheraton Lake Buena Vista Resort
AFTER HOURS Rabbit Hole 2am – 5am The party continues back at the hotel, y’all! Guest DJ Bonnie Beats throws down house and indie beats in the Bud Light Disco for a late night social. $10 with a Girls in Wonderland HOB ticket stub / $15 without Sheraton Lake Buena Vista Resort whitney mixter
Sunday - June 8
COLOR ME WET POOL PARTY
CLIMAX • 9pm – 2am Guest DJ Pat-Pat and DJ Marilyn rocks the house downstairs with top 40 dance and hip-hop favorites. Go-Go’s Galore. $15 in advance / $20 at the door Open Bar Available for VIP Pass Holders Firestone Live • 578 N. Orange Avenue
halcyon
Afterglow • 2 am – 5 am The party continues back at the hotel, y’all! Guest DJ Bonnie Beats throws down house, indie beats and more in the Bud Light Disco for a late night social. $10 cover Sheraton Lake Buena Vista Resort
11 am – 5 pm Get wet at this sexy pool party with body painting shows and fun all day. Bootie shaking contest, celebrities, DJ Pat Pat and Whitney Day on the decks, shots, Bad Girls Club’s Lea and The Real L Word’s Rachel on the mics. $12/Advance – $20/Door Sheraton Lake Buena Vista Resort
INDIE ROCK • 6 pm – midnight Stephanie Callahan and Deb Hunseder of Halcyon • $12 in advance / $15 at the door • Sheraton Lake Buena Vista Resort
hOB
Visit girlsinwonderland.com for up-to-the-minute information, booking rooms and event tickets.
SHE - 19 - 05/14
shep18_19_giw.indd 2
5/2/2014 12:56:28 AM
from the cover
by denise warner | cover photo by chia messina | netflix
Getting to talk with the actress who plays Alex Vause in the smash hit Netflix series Orange Is the New Black had me walking on air for days. Seriously. This was so much fun, like having brunch with your bestie—laughing, joking, having a good ol’ time. You know, like if your best friend was Laura Prepon! Just in case you have yet to see an episode of OITNB, no need to worry. You can catch up this month as Season One is been released on DVD and Digital HD on May 13th. Timed to the series’ second season premiere, Orange Is The New Black, Season One will include all 13 episodes on a three-disc Blu-ray and four-disc DVD set, packed with bonus materials fans will love including numerous featurettes that contain behind the scenes interviews with author Piper Kerman, series creator Jenji Kohan and favorite cast members, along with a gag reel and special episode commentaries with the series producers. Orange Is the New Black follows engaged Brooklynite Piper Chapman, whose wild past comes back to haunt her and results in her arrest and detention in a federal penitentiary. To pay her debt to society, Piper trades her comfortable New York life for an orange prison jumpsuit and finds unexpected conflict and camaraderie amidst an eccentric group of inmates. All your jailbird friends are back for the most awaited season 2 premiere starting June 6th on Netflix, so get your pies ready to throw! First off, thank you so much for doing this. I know how busy you are.
Oh no, thank you! I’m totally excited to be talking with you! Did you ever have any idea this character would make you a dreamboat bad-a*s for lesbians?
(Laughs) I didn’t really, but I will say this: you guys are an incredible fan base. The whole LGBT community, I’m telling you. I just love everyone! The support has been amazing. Truly amazing! Honestly, I’m blown away by it. When you first read the script, did you know Orange Is the New Black was going to be something special? SHE - 20 - 05/14
shep20_22_lauraoitnb.indd 1
5/2/2014 12:58:02 AM
We’re well aware that we have something special. I mean, it’s so cool. It’s Jenji [Kohan] and all these stellar actresses. When you’re doing it, you’re in this little bubble of a world on set. You don’t know if people are going to like it. So, when you come out of the bubble and you find that people not only like it, but appreciate it and get it, it’s an absolutely amazing feeling. I knew from the moment I read the pilot this was going to be something great. The second I put it down, I said, “I have to audition for this.” At the time, they were only casting for Piper, so I went in and read for Jenji. She was like, “You are Alex. I cannot get you out of my head as Alex. You are so Alex Vause.” That was great for me because I loved that role, too. After they had cast Taylor and we read together, it was a total no brainer. It was just so completely perfect. There was never any doubt in my mind how well this was going to work. You guys have great chemistry! We definitely are appreciative. We’re so thankful that lesbians are visible again and I think we’re happy with how they’re being portrayed. That’s rare for us!
Oh, thanks for saying that. That’s so nice to hear! I totally get that. I know how important it is. I went up to San Francisco for this Human Rights event and they gave me an Ally For Equality award for playing a lesbian, creating awareness and being a voice. I was so honored. I got up there to make my speech and talked about how our demographic is so all
over the spectrum. It’s actually incredible to know how many different age groups and generations we’re reaching, like my friend’s 85year-old grandmother watches it! She actually said to my friend, who hadn’t seen it yet, “Will you hurry up and watch it, so we can talk about it!” So, here’s this 85-year-old woman watching a show with same sex relationships in it. It makes you realize how far we’ve come. Had you read Piper Kerman’s book before you got the script?
Not before I got the script, no, I hadn’t. But what’s really cool about it is that when you base something like a series on a book, you are really basing it on the story. As the characters develop and evolve, it sprouts off in different directions. Other things start to click and work, like these actors work well together, or this story line is starting to take this shape. It can end up becoming something different than how it started. I love that there are all these possibilities unfolding as it goes on. That’s pretty awesome. Were you familiar with Jenji Kohan’s work before this?
Yeah, but I definitely delved in way more after I got this job. I had watched Weeds and I was a total fan of it. I think she has an incredible way of writing. She’s so ballsy and not afraid of anything. Nothing is taboo and I gravitate towards that kind of material. Were you at all nervous about being on Netflix? Because it was kind of al-
ways like, “Oh, yeah Netflix, the movie thing” before OITNB, right?
Yeah, exactly! I don’t know if nervous is the right word. I think we were anxious about what was going to happen because House of Cards hadn’t aired yet or anything. We were foraging through the unknown and we just didn’t know what to expect. The whole Netflix of it all—I didn’t really have an opinion. I mean, I knew we had an amazing script from Jenji, and we were all like, “F*ck it, let’s just jump in and see what happens!” You know? Now, we’re like these pioneers on this new frontier and it seems like everyone is trying to sell their show to Netflix. It’s become like the new HBO or something! How has it been different working on a Netflix series with all the freedom that it allows, as opposed to network TV?
Oh God, it’s like night and day! As a rule, in general, networks micro-manage their TV shows to death. That’s why I’ve always felt like cable TV—’cablers’—are better, but what’s even cooler than cablers is that Netflix is still so new to it all. One of the best things that they do is they’ve trusted the creatives to do their thing, you know? They totally trusted Jenji with her vision and what was in her head. They trust us as actors. I don’t know if the show would have worked anywhere else. Maybe HBO, but even still, I think we’re better here because of the freedom Netflix has allowed us. It’s all new to them, too. There was a moment in time when we thought we might not see you in season two of Orange Is the New Black and the world of social media literally flipped out.
Oh my God, that was f*cking crazy, wasn’t it? It was NUTS! My Twitter and Facebookevery single post, headline and tweet was about it!
“The thing with Alex is she’s sarcastic, she’s a straight shooter, she doesn’t take any sh*t, but at the same time, she’s vulnerable and messed up. She’s in love with this woman who’s completely and totally f*cking with her. But, Alex is also power hungry...I love that she’s so real.”
(Laughs) First of all, I was completely flattered and blown away by how awesome the fan base is, like how many fans Alex Vause has! The worst part was that no one knew what was going on and there was all this crap and these ridiculous rumors flying around like, “Laura has creative differences with Jenji!” and “No Alex Vause in Season Two!” All this craziness started overnight! I was like, “Oh my God! What is going on here?!” Jenji is so incredible to work with. She loves how I’m portraying Alex and I love how she’s writing Alex, so it was nothing like what was being said! The thing was that I wasn’t under a “series regular” contract when
SHE - 21 - 05/14
shep20_22_lauraoitnb.indd 2
5/2/2014 12:58:07 AM
I started the show, so not knowing if we’d get renewed or not, I had taken another job on something else that conflicted with the shooting schedule. I had already told Jenji all that, but I was like, “Girl, I have to be a part of this,” so we worked it out. I let her know that I would do as many episodes as I could in season two and I also said now, “Look, if we get a season three, I want to be in every episode!” So, if we get a pick up for three, I’m in the whole thing. I already figured it out! (Laughs) What’s funny is that this had all been discussed back in the day and everything was all totally worked out. So for it to all of a sudden become the hot topic and get all crazy, it was like, “Whaaaaaat??” (Laughs) You know, as an actor, there’s only one of you. When I was doing That 70’s Show, if Topher [Grace] or Ashton [Kutcher] booked a movie, we would shoot around it and adjust. You do what you can to help each other because there’s only so much to go around. So, we worked around it as much as we could because that’s what you do. You’re part of team, you know? You’ve been in comedy sitcoms as well as serious dramas. This role is such a blend of both. Do you find it hard to walk that line with the character of Alex?
Oh my God, I love that! It’s my favorite! Having these comedic beats of levity in the story is a dream! The thing with Alex is she’s sarcastic, she’s a straight shooter, she doesn’t take any sh*t, but at the same time, she’s vulnerable and messed up. She’s in love with this woman who’s completely and totally f*cking with her. But, Alex is also power hungry. She liked the job she had- to be running part of this drug ring, living the good life, and stuff. So, I love that she’s so real. She’s complex and we run the whole spectrum of emotions, like in life. You laugh, you cry, you have highs and lows. I think that’s what is so cool about these characters. Is there anyone in the cast that really keeps you on your toes in your scenes together?
You know that’s a really tough question because every actress on this show is so good and so real. Even when I’m working with Taylor, she is so frickin’ good. We can be in a scene and I’m watching her, like actress to actress and thinking ‘Oh my God, that look was so good, that was so perfect,” but then I do this with everyone, you know? They each bring something and they bring it every time. We all respect each other so much. I remember when we first started the show. I was so prepared. I was so ready and you never know what other actors are going to be like, but instantly, I was like, “Oh man! This is sick! Everyone is so good.” (Laughs) It was so great! When I first got the news I was going to be talking to you, I only told one person because I never give away any scoop until the magazine comes out. The first thing my friend said after squealing with delight was, “Ask her about the glasses! Oh my God, I love her in those glasses!” Isn’t it funny how Alex’s glasses have taken on this whole sexy life of their own?
“...every actress on this show is so good and so real...I remember when we first started the show. I was so prepared. I was so ready and you never know what other actors are going to be like, but instantly, I was like, “Oh man! This is sick! Everyone is so good.”
(Laughs hysterically) Yes! It’s so true! Oh my God, those glasses should be on the list of characters! It’s so totally funny, because Natasha [Lyonne] and I were talking one day about how things catch on with people when the show becomes successful you know? Like the focus of attention on certain things and she goes, “Like my hair!” because you know her and her big, f*cking Nikki-hair, and she was like, “As if I take it off and set it on the table when I’m done!” and the same thing happened with the Alex glasses! Oh man. It’s funny! Well, let’s just say “God forbid Alex Vause ever gets contacts or Lasik surgery, right?!” So true! And the same goes with lines in the show. I mean, seriously, Laura, I’d throw my pie for you.
(Laughs) Oh, thanks! See? Now that means so much!
SHE - 22 - 05/14
shep20_22_lauraoitnb.indd 3
5/2/2014 12:58:19 AM
SHE - 23 - 05/14
shep23_bodipg.indd 1
5/2/2014 12:58:32 AM
SHE GIRL
photos by boi-photography.com / view more at www.shemag.com Relationship status: In a Domestic Partnership My occupation: Singer Dream Girl: Katharine McPhee. She’s beautiful inside and out. my pets: Riley, my Yorkie and Smokey, my Keeshond. Dream Job: Singer My mother thinks I: Can part the seas! She has always had
confidence in my musical ability and talents. She has been my number one fan and supporter my entire life. sensitive body parts: Neck and lower back. Turn-ons: A sense of humor, someone who is physically fit and beautiful smile. Turn-offs: Smokers, bad teeth and rude people. My Best Quality: My best two qualities would be that I am outgoing and spontaneous. They kind of go hand in hand the last book i read: 50 Shades of Grey. i first kissed a girl at the age of: 16 My coming out was: Not easy. My mother was upset and cried, but I had my uncle to lean on and help me through it. Not only did my mom come around but came back out (yes, I said back out – I didn’t have a clue) about six months after I did. I have a weakness for: Animals and anything that sparkles. The last thing I listened to on my iPod was: My playlist of ZZ Ward, Jetta and P!nk, on repeat. If my life were made into a movie, my part would be played by: Jennifer Love Hewitt. my greatest accomplishment: Hands down making top
12 on American Idol Season 5! my favorite quote: “The best day of your life is the one on
which you decide your life is your own. No apologies or excuses. No one to lean on, rely on, or blame. The gift is yours-it is an amazing journey- and you alone are responsible for the quality of it. This is the day your life really begins.” Celebrity’s butt I would most like to squeeze:
Khloe Kardashian! Have you seen that thing? the strangest place i’ve ever been naked: On an island in the middle of the ocean nicknamed Naked Island. If you had a superpower, what would it be and why?: To heal. I don’t like to see people or animals hurting,
sad, or in pain. The weirdest thing i ever ate: Pickled eggs and picked
bologna. I love them and have eaten them my whole life, but from what I hear it’s not normal. French Fries, French Vanilla, French Toast or French Manicure?: French Fries, McDonald’s to be exact. I
swear there is crack in them. Favorite flower: Gerbera Daisies! They always put a smile on my face. i think the lgbt community needs: More publicly out country singers! It is one of the hardest genres in the industry in which to be publicly out. If you were to become an activist in the LGBT community, which organization would you choose and why: HRC – It is an awesome organization
that proactively works towards equality for all.
SHE - 24 - 05/14
shep24_SheGirl.indd 1
5/2/2014 12:58:45 AM
SHE - 25 - 05/14
shep25_applepg.indd 1
5/2/2014 1:00:12 AM
by denise warner
feature
Yeah, we’re one of the few shows that got actually got picked up from being an online show to going on television. There’s a lot of LGBT content online, but so few things get picked up for TV. We were blessed that Out TV asked us to do it. And everyone will be back?
Yeah, I think so. I’m not sure when Tatum will be back. I think if and when she does make it back over here, everyone would love to get together again and do some sort of reunion. A few years back, you had a guest spot on Grey’s Anatomy and everyone went nuts because we were so happy for you. Can you tell us anything about what that was like for you?
“...Thank you for being here...I’ve never met anyone who looks like me, or is bisexual and successful, who was out. Seeing someone that’s out and works in the industry, who has kids because I want children, too, has been so inspiring for me.”
Catching up with Dalila Ali Rajah and her “Secrets & Toys” You’ve seen her pretty face on Cherry Bomb and remember her from a memorable guest role on Grey’s Anatomy, but this multitalented actor, writer, producer, and mom has got even more in store for you! This month we have the pleasure of catching up with Dalila Ali Rajah about her newest project, the short film she wrote, executive produced and costars in with Shelli Boone, Jill Bennett, Diane Sellers, Jason Stuart and Darryl Stephen, Secrets & Toys. Secrets & Toys is part of the Miami Gay & Lesbian Film Festival and it will play on Tuesday, May 6th at the Miami Beach Cinemateque at 7pm. I guess the first thing we should discuss right off the bat is Cherry Bomb.
What season are we up to? Will there be more episodes and how can we see it?
We are up to season five now. It’s on OutTv and they are showing episodes online (www. outtv.ca). Also, there are some episodes on Shewired.com and you can keep up with any news about Cherry Bomb through our Facebook group: www.facebook.com/cherrybomblovers. Currently, our gorgeous Tatum is in the lovely UK and we’re not sure when she’ll be back on this side of the pond. Once we can get everyone together, we’d definitely like to do something. Everyone is always asking. We’re always excited to do it, so it’s just a matter of getting everyone in the same place at the same time. You guys really broke new ground five seasons ago, didn’t you?
It was an incredible experience. It was one of those magical things that happened where it unexpectedly became bigger than I thought. When I had the audition, I didn’t think it was that big of a part to even be considered a guest role. To have that many scenes was amazing. Part of why it became such big news, I think, was because I’m an out actor. So is the man that was playing opposite me. An article had just come out where some journalist said that queer actors and actresses couldn’t play straight roles. But, here we were: out actors cast as husband and wife. So that was pretty phenomenal and happened just as that article came out. Ha! What timing! That’s fantastic!
It was, exactly. Because I’m an activist, I’m such a strong “stand-up for equality” person. I’m on the LGBT SAG Committee, so it was super awesome to have my two worlds come together like that. What was it like working on a Shonda Rimes set?
Unfortunately, I didn’t get to meet Shonda. It was incredible to know that she was so completely hands on, down to every detail. Literally, they would take pictures of me in my outfits and send them to her. She would approve what look she wanted, or what my look would be in my scenes. So, to imagine someone that talented and creative with such an incredible imagination who is that intricately involved with every detail…oh my God. How does she have time for that? She does so much writing, she has a family, she has kids and yet she’s that detail oriented. I’m sure that’s what makes it such a great show. The cast is really great, the ones we got to meet. On Grey’s, they
SHE - 26 - 05/14
shep26_28_dalilah.indd 1
5/2/2014 1:00:46 AM
keep you separate from the actors who aren’t in your scenes. You only get part of the scriptjust your scenes with your lines because the producers don’t want any chance of spoilers getting out. They go to great lengths to keep everything really secretive. Now, speaking of being a mom, a writer, a producer, an actor and an activist—that’s pretty much your life, too! You have a daughter and this flourishing career. What’s that like?
I know. My daughter is 11 now, my baby girl. (laughs) I just told her, “Whether you’re 30 or 11, you’re still going to be my baby girl.” But yeah, she’s 11 now and in middle school. It’s a whole new ball game. Oh, you’ve got your hands full for the next couple of years! But, in a way, isn’t this a great time to be a lesbian mom? You can see just how much progress has been made. You can feel more open about having conversations with your kids that are less taboo and more important and necessary.
Well, technically I identify as a very womenleaning bisexual. I lean more towards women, but I don’t want to discount my bisexual roots because whenever someone finds out I was married to a man, it becomes a big thing. I don’t want to leave that part of myself out because there’s so much bi-phobia out there. So technically, I am bisexual but lean towards women. I stand up for my bisexuality and as a queer woman—as a whole—because the visibility is really important for everyone. I just want to put that out there first. I am very grateful, though, that I’m living in the time that I am in. A lot of things are shifting. They started shifting a while ago, but we’re just starting to see that progress more recently. I’ve been out much longer than the progress has been
visible. For me, I feel like I have to out myself more often because I am femme appearing. I do have a child, so people tend to assume I’m straight. I tend to have to out myself and then let them know it’s okay. It’s not something I feel I have to hide from anyone, including my child. I was really fortunate that my daughter’s first teacher was an out lesbian. There were kids in her class that had two mommies or two daddies. There was a little girl in her class who said she wanted to marry my daughter, but her parents told her that it wasn’t allowed. My daughter told me this. So, I had a talk with my daughter. I told her that, actually, it was allowed in some states and that people could commit to each other anywhere, all over the country because they love each other. So, of course, my daughter went back and told this to her little friend, who repeated it to her mother. A whole hubbub started because this woman didn’t want to be having “that” conversation with her five-year-old. Thankfully, the school was progressive enough to say, “Well, maybe you should at least be thinking about it because there are other students here with same-sex parents. The topic is likely to come up again at some point.” I’m glad that I could have an honest conversation with my daughter about it. I don’t understand how parents could knowingly want their children confused on the issue. The hope is that parents will have proper conversations with their children on the topic because it starts at home, sometimes at an early age.
Well, you pray for it. Sometimes, especially in African-American households, it doesn’t happen that way. That’s why it’s so important for me to tell stories whether it’s as an actor or a writer or a filmmaker. Often, I think young peo-
ple feel very alone. They don’t see queer images of themselves or our history that are out stories. I remember once with Cherry Bomb, we did this college tour. It was like a “Coming Out Tool Kit” and we were on stage in front of an audience. We took questions and stuff. There was a young woman who stood up and said, “Thank you for being here because I’m a writer and a poet. I’m hoping to one day do projects to tell my story. I’ve never met anyone who looks like me, or is bisexual and successful, who was out. Seeing someone that’s out and works in the industry, who has kids because I want children, too, has been so inspiring for me.” It meant so much to hear that. I think it’s amazing to be out there representing and being proud of who you are and what you’re doing. We have to do it because progress is happening. It may be slow, but it’s happening.
Yeah, I think it’s happening more and more. The tide is turning. I’ve always admired your positivity because it’s a part of everything you do. I think you’re giving LGBTQ young adults something to aspire to, especially ones that want to work in the industry and have to struggle with whether they should come out.
I just read this report on a study that was conducted by the Williams Institute regarding diversity, sexual orientation and gender identity in the entertainment industry. They surveyed a number of SAG actors in the Guild. Surprisingly, a majority of straight actors had no issue whatsoever working with gay actors in any way—opposite them, in a love scene, whatever. Yet both gay and straight actors said they all had, at one time or another, felt or experienced some form of homophobia on a set and that it actually interfered with out gay actors
SHE - 27 - 05/14
shep26_28_dalilah.indd 2
5/2/2014 1:00:50 AM
getting a role. A majority of that comes from the studio executives and the casting directors. It was a really interesting report. Do you think it’s harder to achieve your goals being out?
I don’t see things like that because that’s not how I look at the world. I’m like this manifestation of an Abraham Hicks, The-Secret-watching type of chick who believes in magic, faeries, angels and stuff. I know that sounds crazy-pants, but I don’t really think things are made harder because of it. I feel like I was brought here to be exactly who I am for a purpose and the pathway is open to me. It’s our passions that lead us to our path. I’ve always felt like the things we’re passionate about are our breadcrumbs from God-slash-The Universe-slash-whatever you believe in. Those breadcrumbs lead us to the path we’re intended to walk for us to contribute and transform the world. So, there isn’t anything that makes that harder, you know? It’s a part of who you are. With that being said, though, I do believe that it’s harder to be out. When I look at the world as a whole, and career-wise especially for gay or bisexual black men, it’s harder to be out in the entertainment industry and to get straight leading roles. I find it’s really, really challenging for them. It really is an uphill battle. Sometimes the battle is non-existent because they just don’t get cast at all. For a feminine looking black woman, unless I’m outing myself in the middle of a casting, they probably aren’t going to know whether I’m gay, bi or straight. But I have had friends who’ve worked behind the scenes tell me that if casting a role comes down to a gay actress or a straight actress, equally as good, the studio or executives will go with the straight actress. They feel that it’s easier to market them and not deal with the questions of sexuality that’ll come up and pull focus from the [project]. I heard that statement before this big wave of actors who’ve just come out recently. Now, it’s a little different. I mean, I hate to make this a racial thing or sound like I’m making it all about racial lines and sexuality within the industry regarding appearances, but I do think for white, bisexual feminine looking women, it’s probably easier to get work. For women who are more masculine of center or maybe blur the gender identity lines, it’s still an uphill struggle unless a role is specifically written for that type of look. It’s safe to say that change is happening, but it’s just slower where the industry is concerned. I think we need more roles and more stories about people who fit that off-centre-not-the-norm image, like the Glee characters. They are on a major network, week in and week out, showing diversity. We need that in movies, too.
Yeah, I think television is changing in that way. Young people are being exposed and they’re relating. Networks are seeing that. Look at ABC Family and The Fosters. It’s so good and it’s on a family friendly network. Glee
came on the heels of Degrassi. Now there are shows like The Fosters and Pretty Little Liars, so it’s coming around. Network television is pushing the envelope but in a “digestible” way for its viewers. That’s a good way to put it. People do process and connect with topics that are made in such a way that they are easily digestible.
I think that’s what I’ve accomplished with Secrets & Toys. It’s funny and it has that little kick of something sexy, but it also deals with hiding, secrets and people being afraid of being judged. So, when I wrote it, I had a mother, a daughter, a set of friends and girlfriends. I wanted to reach the queer community but also have it be something digestible for the black community, hopefully make them think differently or at least be open to a different possibility. I knew [I had it] after I had sent a rough cut to my aunt and she wrote back to me saying, “I love it, this is the funniest thing ever! It’s wonderful.” My mom and my aunt are both old school preacher’s kids from Columbia, South Carolina! So, I knew I reached the sweet spot between the older black community and the young, queer community so that both are able to feel invested in the storyline and perhaps have their minds open to each other. Secrets & Toys screened at the Dinah this past April. How was that? What was the reaction?
We first premiered at OutFest Fusion, which is the OutFest film festival for people of color. It went really well. Then we screened at Dinah Shore. That was exciting because there’s a scene in the movie where I have a Dinah brochure! It was just amazing to see it in a whole room full of women. Everyone laughed at the right places. They “Oooed” in the right spots. They really seemed to like it and we had such a good time. It meant so much because this was my baby. I had written this film about seven or eight years ago. I’ve been raising money for this and been on my hustle for this film for the longest time. It was a true collaboration with Quentin Lee, my director and Andrea Krauss, who did the musical score. It was just a blessing to work with them and my amazing cast. It’s something I’m so proud of. I had to push through so many fears to get this made. So much was going through my head the entire time. Being this involved in every little detail was so much pressure, but now, I just love it right down to the font of the credits. That’s huge! It’s such a big deal to trust when it’s your personal project. Good for you. So, tell me about Miami!
Oh, we’ve been invited to show Secrets & Toys at the Miami Gay & Lesbian Film Festival as part of their Girl Shorts Program, I’m super duper excited! It’s my first east coast festival! Check www.mglff.com for tickets.
SHE - 28 - 05/14
shep26_28_dalilah.indd 3
5/2/2014 1:00:53 AM
another exciting year at club skirts’ the dinah welcomed thousands of women who invaded palm springs to party day and night to celebrate its 25th anniversary! photos by connie kurtew & peter zsabadi. view more photos at www.shemag.com
SHE - 29 - 05/14
shep29_TheDinahPICS.indd 1
5/2/2014 1:01:11 AM
noticias Movilh y el Metro lanzan campaña antidiscriminación en Chile El representante del Movimiento de Integración y Liberación Homosexual (Movilh), Oscar Rementería, junto al Gerente General de Metro, Ramón Cañas y a la Ministra de Desarrollo Social, María Fernanda Villegas, lanzaron el martes, 29 de Abril, una inédita campaña por la no discriminación al interior del tren subterráneo. La iniciativa, cuyos contenidos e imágenes fueron decididos y trabajados conjuntamente por el Movilh y Metro, contempla gigantografías en vitrinas, paredes y vagones del metro de todas las líneas. Las imágenes incluyen a parejas lésbicas, gays y
otros grupos discriminados. Producto de la campaña, la estación Universidad Católica de la Línea 1 será declarada por un día como la “Estación del respeto y la diversidad”. Tras ello, los colaboradores de la campaña se subirán a un vagón para promover la iniciativa entre los transeúntes. “Esta es sin duda la campaña de mayor alcance que ha desarrollado Movilh, esta vez en alianza con una empresa, el Metro, en el marco de un convenio de colaboración acordado entre ambas instituciones”, indicó el Movilh.
onu lanza campaÑa por igualdad y respeto gay en brasil La ONU lanzó el 29 de Abril en Sao Paulo una campaña para incentivar la igualdad y los derechos del colectivo homosexual ante los “alarmantes” índices de violencia contra lesbianas, gays, bisexuales, travestis y transexuales (LGTB), según denunció la Organización de las Naciones Unidas. De acuerdo con el director de información de la ONU en Brasil, Giarcarlo Suma, aproximadamente una persona muere por día en el país suramericano por motivos homofóbicos. “Las actitudes homofóbicas todavía están por todo el planeta, el colectivo LGTB sufre discriminación diaria en la calle, en el trabajo, todavía en el siglo XXI”, afirmó Suma durante el lanzamiento de la campaña “Libres e Iguales”.
La unión civil gay empieza a abrirse paso en Perú El proyecto de ley, que fue presentado en septiembre pasado por el congresista opositor Carlos Bruce, propone la unión voluntaria no matrimonial de dos personas del mismo sexo, con el fin de establecer y garantizar derechos y deberes entre ambos, sin reconocer la adopción de hijos. Aunque el apoyo a esa iniciativa ha aumentado dos puntos en las encuestas, hasta el 33 %, todavía una mayoría de peruanos se opone a que se legisle sobre este asunto. No obstante, un 49 % de entrevistados está de acuerdo en que los homosexuales tienen derecho a formar un patrimonio económico común, un 52 % aprueba que puedan tomar decisiones en torno a la salud de sus
parejas cuando éstas no puedan expresar su voluntad, y un 54 % apoya a que accedan al seguro médico del otro. La iniciativa legislativa, que se discutirá este mes de mayo en la Comisión de Justicia del Congreso y si se aprueba pasará al pleno del Parlamento, ha recibido opiniones a favor del Ministerio de Justicia y Derechos Humanos y de la Defensoría del Pueblo. Pero mientras el debate llega al Parlamento, la discusión sobre este proyecto se ha calentado en las últimas semanas con pronunciamientos a favor y en contra, y marchas como la del pasado 12 de abril en Lima en la que miles de personas respaldaron la propuesta.
La iniciativa, creada por el Alto Comisionado de las Naciones Unidas para los Derechos Humanos (Acnudh), junto con la Fundación Purpose, fue lanzada a nivel mundial el pasado mes de julio y aterriza ahora a Brasil con el objetivo de “garantizar atención y más respeto a los derechos de los grupos LGTB“. Según un informe divulgado a inicios de este año por el colectivo Grupo Gay de Bahía, 312 homosexuales fueron asesinados en Brasil durante 2013, lo que representa de media una muerte cada 28 horas.
Presentan la campaña NOH8 en México Se presentó en México a finales de Abril la campaña internacional contra el odio “No Hate (NOH8)” en conjunto con Conapred (Consejo Nacional para Prevenir la Discriminación), una iniciativa para sumar voces y esfuerzos para hacer más fuerte la lucha en contra el odio y con ello combatir la homofobia, el clasismo, el clasicismo, la misógina, xe-
nofobia, entre otras problemáticas que afectan la vida de millones de personas. En entrevista con Ricardo Bucio Mújica, presidente de Conapred, explicó el porqué unirse a NOH8: “es una manera de dar un mensaje social, muy fácilmente compresible a través de la imagen gráfica, y a través del compromiso de las personas, dar cuenta de
que existe odio en la sociedad, que no es un asunto solamente interpersonal y que hay que ponerle un alto”. Entre los artistas que participarán en la campaña están Martha Debayle, Fernando del Solar, Ingrid Coronado, Laura G, Luis García, Malillany Marin, Mauricio Barcelata, Rossana Nájera, junto a más de 50 personalidades.
SHE - 30 - 05/14
shep30_Noticias.indd 1
5/2/2014 1:01:26 AM
soy mujer
por veronica espinal
Advertencia
de Amor
• No tengas miedo a sentir miedo al fracaso. • Reconoce tus errores ante quien sea y permítete la oportunidad de mejorarlos día tras día. • Errar es de sabios. • No permitas que te vean la cara de imbécil, de ser así, hazle caer en su misma trampa. En ocasiones la venganza es dulce. • Ten en mente que la vida siempre se ocupa de darle a cada persona lo que merece según sus actos para con los demás. •Recuerda que todo llega y pasa, a su debido tiempo. •Siempre ten la disposición de darle una nueva oportunidad al mismo ahora, casi siempre se lo merece. • Date tiempo para disfrutar tu misma compañía. • Dentro de lo difícil que resulta el amor, date la oportunidad de disfrutar el desquite cualquiera sea su forma. • Déjate llevar por los momentos de intima pasión. •Recuerda siempre sonreírle al amor aunque más adelante pienses que el amor, en general, también es una reverenda mie*da. • De ser posible, dale rienda al pasado para concentrarte en los recuerdos. Déjate llevar por la emoción. • Disfruta la comida cuando te regrese el apetito. • Habla siempre con la verdad por delante. • Date la oportunidad de luchar por el amor verdadero. • No te dejes pisotear y siempre mantén tu dignidad en alto. •El miedo es normal. •Arriésgate para obtener y mantener a quien quieres. •Reposa en el corazón de un amigo. •Si algo te pertenece, déjalo ir. Si regresa es tuyo, sino, nunca lo fue. Esta ha sido una mera advertencia al amor; al futuro amor; al amor que esta a la puerta del abismo; al amor que se perdió y al amor que está por ganar la batalla.
A quien mejor convenga: • Si estás enamorada, disfruta los momentos de alegría con tu pareja. Por lo general tardan al 100% los primeros años después de empezar la relación. •Disfruta cada roce con tu pareja, cada vez que hacen el amor y sobre todo... cada vez que la extrañas. Dénse tiempo para extrañarse, que no es lo mismo que darse espacio. El espacio es necesario cuando te hartas, no cuando la deseas. •Siempre ve con la bandera de la verdad de frente y en alto; por dura que resulte, la sinceridad siempre es el mejor camino. •Deposita confianza en tu pareja sin dejar de lado tu propia voz. •Recuerda siempre sonreírle al amor aunque más adelante pienses que el amor, en general, también es una reverenda mie*da. •Vive tu vida y relación día a día, es lo único que puedes hacer. •No tengas miedo de llorar y sacar tus emociones a flote. •Déjate llevar por tu intuición. •No permitas que nadie te manipule y te controle a su antojo, de ser así, hazle caer en su misma trampa. •Cuando pierdas el apetito, aprovecha el momento si estás con libras de más…tómalo como método natural de desintoxicación. •Busca motivación en lo más minino y conviértela en tu nueva pasión. •La música resulta ser un buen desahogo para toda frustración. • Busca ayuda en la terapia profesional. En ocasiones también el amor te vuelve loca.
“
...una mera advertencia al amor; al futuro amor; al amor que esta a la puerta del abismo; al amor que se perdió y al amor que está por ganar la batalla”.
SHE - 31 - 05/14
shep31_mujer.indd 1
5/2/2014 1:01:42 AM
pandora & icandee events presented ménage à trois at vaganbond miami, fling, miami beach gay pride’s official women’s events.
part of
photos by rock ur photo & production. view more photos at www.shemag.com
SHE - 32 - 05/14
shep32_FlingPICS.indd 1
5/2/2014 1:01:59 AM
shep33_gala.indd 1
5/2/2014 1:02:11 AM
with marissa cohen
on the shelves
The Reappearing Act: Coming out on a College Basketball Team Filled with Born-Again Christians by Kate Fagan Kate Fagan, a sports columnist and feature writer for ESPN.com and ESPN: The Magazine, tells her true story about a college life lived in-between two worlds. As a young basketball player for the University of Colorado, Fagan can’t ignore the fact that she’s a lesbian, even as her religious, straight teammates run Bible study groups and hold hands in prayer circles to pray for those “living a sinful lifestyle.” “Be gay or be Christian. If I was gay, I would become an outcast, someone to be whispered about,” writes Fagan. Her journey is hilarious and important, especially now that high profile athletes such as Megan Rapinoe are opening the closet door.
Girls in Wonderland & Gay Days in Orlando • June 2004
Women with Handcuffs: Lesbian Cop Erotica, edited by Sacchi Green Sacchi Green, world-class editor of lesbian anthologies, is back with this delicious collection of stories about women who protect and serve. In Ily Goyanes’ “Undercover,” a lesbian cop goes undercover as a hooker and gets more than she bargained for from a jane. In Lynn Mixon’s “Healing Hand,” an ex-poker player in the witness protection program is dealt a very sexy hand from a US Marshall and a cop checks out a complaint that is anything but routine in Cheyenne Blue’s “How Does Your Garden Grow?” From moving and romantic to sexy and sharp, this is one more winner from Cleis Press. Finding the Grain by Wynn Malone One of the latest from Bywater Books, Finding the Grain is about Blue Riley, orphaned in North Carolina the summer before college. Once in college, she meets Grace, a sorority girl who falls for Blue, but can’t quite muster up the courage to come out to her folks. Distraught, Blue drops out of college and travels around the country, finding work where she can and meeting people who color Blue’s life. As much a story of a female drifter who finds her passion in woodcarving as it is a love story, Finding the Grain is a textured picture of a woman living in a changing South.
/shemagazinefl
issuu
shemagazine
shemagazine
shemagazine
SHE - 34 - 05/14
shep34_ShelvesArchives.indd 1
5/2/2014 1:02:26 AM
shep35_quantum.indd 1
5/30/2013 6:53:42 PM
she classifieds accommodations
community groups/organizations
Key West’s Distinctive Resort
Pearl’s is an all-welcome historic inn offering guesthouse ambiance and resort amenities. With Key West’s One Human Family atmosphere, Pearl’s offers full breakfast, 2 clothingoptional (but bottoms up) pools, 2 hot tubs, gym, and poolside bar and grill. 800-749-6696. www.pearlskeywest.com.
THE HIGHLANDS INN — PA LESBIAN PARADISE!
Legal gay weddings. We have more brides from FL than any other state! 19 charming rooms, 100 private acres in New Hampshire’s vacation destination, the White Mountains. Pink Choice Award since 2007. www.highlandsinn-nh.com 1-877 LES-B-INN (537-2466)Hotels. 1-877-LES-B-INN • highlandsinn-nh.com.
Reach The Women of the LGBT Community! Advertising in She: A Lot More Affordable Than You Think. Call Today 954-354-9751 IT’S TIME FOR YOU TO BE IN SHE!
She Girls: Send us a color photo with contact information. Email us at: info@shemag.com. SHE - 36 - 05/14
shep36_37class.indd 2
5/2/2014 1:02:36 AM
she classifieds miscellaneous
she sisters
she searches SELL SOMETHING YOU LOVE Sales representatives wanted. Unlimited earning potential and some of the highest commissions in the industry! Sales experience, professionalism and a love for She a MUST! Dade, Broward, ORLANDO, TAMPA, JACKSONVILLE areas availiable. Send resumes to donna@shemag.com.
she sisters
she searches
SHE - 37 - 05/14
shep36_37class.indd 3
5/2/2014 1:02:38 AM
with the village sage
scopes AQUARIUS JAN 21 - FEB 19 You’re more hands on at home. Taking care of family is your number one priority, as is making necessary adjustments to your work schedule so that you have time to enjoy and support them. Be practical as you make plans for home improvements of all kinds, and be careful when communicating to all concerned. You’ll have fun too, no worries, and you’ll have enough alone time with your creative imagination.
leo July 23 - aug 22 The conflict between what you want to do and what you have to do is about to be resolved by the shifting planets. You’ll have the opportunity to be more spontaneous in enjoying life. You’ll be happy to accept social invitations to go out and play. You’ll still have plenty of time and energy to take care of business and family, as well as time to nap.
pisces feb 20 - mar 20 Your communication skills will be needed as you share time with family and loved ones. You have the opportunity to finally shed some of the painful emotional baggage that you’ve been dragging around forever. Clearing your way forward should be your first priority, even if it takes some help to do it. Finances should improve this month, as your creative skills help you to market yourself.
virgo aug 23 - sept 23 You’ve been experiencing a fiscal crunch for some time, and now it is starting to ease up. However, you’ll still have to make a sound budget, based on reality. The planetary adjustments have created changes in your own attitude, which hasn’t been very positive, patient, or mellow. Relationships of all kinds will benefit and old arguments can finally be put to rest.
aries mar 21 - apr 20 Don’t stubbornly cling to a ‘my way or the highway’ philosophy if you want to succeed in overcoming your fiscal challenges. Adjustments are now mandatory, as you may find yourself without the support you had hoped for. Network yourself as much as possible. Let your natural enthusiasm for life add to your sphere of influence and cash flow.
libra sept 24 - oct 23 You have lots of new opportunities with both old and new friends to go out and have fun. However, you’ll also have many opportunities to make the right choices for yourself, based on past history. Opportunities to improve your long-term finances and immediate cash flow will also present themselves. Don’t hesitate to ask for help when needed. Working and playing hard will energize you.
taurus apr 21 - may 21 While your focus is on networking and making a good impression on influential people, you should also make sure you get plenty of alone time. There will be stresses within relationships and everyday life as you reach major turning points. By the end of the month, more positive energy returns to move your agenda forward.
scorpio oct 24 - nov 22 The beginning of the month presents an opportunity to resolve unfinished business. However, you will need the cooperation and good will of all involved. Stuck energy is released in a rush on the 19th, giving you great enthusiasm to get your projects finished. However, it also re-energizes the anger that has been simmering, threatening to boil over in explosive confrontations that will not serve you.
gemini may 22 - june 21 Your future success hinges largely on your past actions. Be honest with yourself about how your words and deeds have contributed to the situation you find yourself in. The truth you tell yourself now will help you make whatever adjustments necessary to ensure needed support. Maintain a healthy lifestyle for optimum results.
sagittarius nov 23 - dec 21 Your creative juices are not only flowing, they’re bubbling over. You feel more optimistic about your future, despite the ongoing negative energy from the Saturn transit. You’ll be able to finish ongoing home improvements, as well as make needed self-improvements, including breaking free of old behaviors, and habits.
cancer June 22 - july 22 You’ll be torn between wanting time alone for introspection and socializing with all of your friends. Avoid spinning in past negatives, and accent the positive in your life. Be open to new people with new ideas. Reach out and ask for help in achieving your goals. Be sure to finish what you start, so that you’re able to take advantage of new opportunities.
capricorn dec 22 - jan 20 Your ambitions are about to be realized. Finances, career and love will be re-energized. Your sense of adventure has never been stronger. While you always have a plan in place and an agenda to accomplish, you’re more open to the unexpected and the unusual. You’re ready to seize the day, and be spontaneous.
SHE - 38 - 05/14
shep38_Scopes.indd 1
5/2/2014 1:02:48 AM
shep41_bud.indd 1
2/29/2012 8:10:08 PM
shep40_wf.indd 1
2/26/2014 11:14:29 PM