The RAY Abundance issue by Lifestylized

THE RAY SUMMER ISSUE v19

L O V E YO U R S E L F

Trashy Fashion

Is Sustainable

From the Causeway to the Runway

Scarlett Johansson The Skinny: Tabloid Media and Weight-Loss Lies

Fearless in the

Bedroom

Understand Your Sexual Power

If the Buddha Drove a Benz Are Your Eyelashes Fat?

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Not-to-miss content from Ed Begley, Jr., Alison Armstrong, Christine Kloser and Josie Maran emPowered by The RAY

v19 2009 | TheRAYmagazine.com

The Real Authentic You

THE RAY LOV E YO U R S E L F

FOUNDER & PUBLISHER CREATIVE OFFICER EDITOR-IN-CHIEF MANAGING EDITOR CONTRIBUTING EDITOR CONTRIBUTING EDITOR ASSOCIATE EDITOR PHOTO EDITOR HEAD OF PRODUCTION SENIOR DESIGNER ASSOCIATE DESIGNER ART COORDINATOR DIRECTOR OF ADVERTISING SALES ASSOCIATE SALES ASSOCIATE PUBLISHING CONSULTANT INTERN

Sierra J. Sullivan Ronald K. Smith Jennie Marie Mahalick Ariella K. Forstein Page Turner Molly Murchison Amy Czechorosky Josie Keys Jessica Balicki Jessica Krewson Sabrina Kappler Andie Villifane Rochelle Reiff Carrie Ransom Steven Brooks Shannon Metcalf Stephen Bench

Contributing Writers

Melvin Allen; Alison Armstrong; Ruth Beaglehole; Ed Begley, Jr.; Laura Bryannan; Rachelle Carson-Begley; John Delloro; Jara Fairchild; Joanna L. Fox; Tarnie Fulloon; Ellie Goldman; Erin Huggins; Shari James; Scarlett Johansson; Mastin Kipp; Christine Kloser; Melissa Mansfield; Josie Maran; Tommy Rosen; Christiane Schull; Max Simon; Dot Todman; Christy Wilhelmi; Dr. Sherie Zander

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TheRAYmagazine.com The RAY is on a mission to transform the way women feel about themselves.

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Though we wholeheartedly believe in our advertisers and thank them for making The RAY possible, we assume no liability for contents or representations of advertisers. Likewise, advertisers of products and services are solely responsible for providing same as advertised. Article opinions expressed are not necessarily those of the publisher. All material contained herein is copyright 2009 The RAY, Inc. Registered trademark pending. All rights reserved. Reproduction of any part or whole of this publication without written permission from the publisher is strictly prohibited. As with any wellness-related guidelines, we encourage you to contact your physician or healthcare provider before embarking on any regimens outlined in this publication, as well as before following self-treatment advice set forth herein.

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How do you see yourself?

The Real Authentic You

THE RAY L O V E Yconnect OURSELF CONTENTS v19

IN EVERY ISSUE

14 16 22 42 45 46 66 82

Reader to Reader Get Into Ask Alison

Natural Beauty with Josie Maran What Makes YOU Feel Beautiful?

Living Green with Ed & Rachelle The Daily Love

relate 18 24

IS MASCULINITY DRAINING YOU? Learn how to get more out of your relationships and enjoy being a girl again

30 32

ON THE COVER

FEARLESS in the Bedroom If the Buddha Drove a Benz ARE YOUr EYELASHES FAT? Scarlett Johansson Trashy Fashion

transform

Yes, you can teach men to get over it

THE WISDOM OF THE BODY

Feeding your feelings

GET HEALTHY: EAT BACTERIA

Know Thyself

Creating abundance for yourselves and your children in a down economy

Getting More by Giving Up

prosper

TAKE it OUTSIDE

plundering the earth for profit?

When your breasts aren’t enough You can go with the flow

MEAN DOESN’T HELP For this mother, Disneyland is not the happiest place on Earth

PARENTING in Stressful Times

PROSPERITY IS AN ATTITUDE

BOUNTIFUL BUDDIES

Money matters

ECONOMICS 2.0

20 40 44 46 48

MEN AND THEIR FEAR OF INTIMACY

nurture 28

shine

The Skinny

Knowing your body takes good listening skills

Is food really a drug? Immunity-boosting probiotic foods Take a moment, get in balance Discover what going green does for you You too can be a garden nerd Backward-thinking companies, shame on you

Rich thoughts for a richer life

inspire

Friends don’t let friends vision alone

Tips to fatten your wallet NOW

MUSIC AND a MISSION

The Power of Voice

The long-awaited change

Broken Beauty Re-examining The Beauty Myth

A crash course on quantum financial physics

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One woman on six men When in doubt, let it out The era of Obama and US

Maybe “Going Green”

Isn’t for Everything....

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The Real Authentic You

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t is always so amazing to see how each theme of The RAY ends up aligning so perfectly with what is happening in my personal life. The fact that you are holding this magazine in your hands means that abundance truly does come in all forms. Since money is tight and advertising is down, there were several times when I wasn’t sure if this issue would make it to print. The RAY has existed for more than six years, and we recently made the choice to expand our little magazine in order to bring our message of inspiration further into the world. Ironically, we’ve chosen to do this at a time when most businesses are scaling back and when the future of print media is uncertain.

Perhaps it was a crazy idea, yet I believe that anything is possible if you have enough faith, passion and perseverance. In all of my being, I knew that the messages of self-love and positive body image for women needed to be brought forth through the medium of a lifestyle magazine. When so many said it was impossible, I kept moving forward. When business after business said no to advertising, we didn’t give up. Every time I wanted to let it all go, the universe would deliver a yes in ways that put the carrot back in front of my nose. What I have realized is that resources don’t always come to us in the ways we expect. Therefore, we must release expectations and practice acceptance. Amazing people have shown up in abundance like never before to donate their time, skills and energy. I have enjoyed finding alternate ways to meet my needs through bartering—a concept that is tackled in Page Turner’s article “Economics 2.0.” I have been moved to lead my staff in prayer and visioning sessions using tools provided by Christine Kloser and Christiane Schull, who have written powerful articles on how to shift your energy into abundance. These sessions have brought us closer together and have centered us. We reached out to you—the community—and asked you to pledge your support so that we could produce this relaunch issue. You responded, providing us with the dollars we needed despite our current financial climate. We thank you for this and for your continued support. The behind-the-scenes adventure of creating The RAY is true to our mission of transforming the way women feel about themselves. Our own transformation is what you now see before you. We have completely redesigned our look, revamped our staff and rebuilt our company. Personally, I have undergone a great metamorphosis to become the woman who can fearlessly and lovingly lead this movement forward, powerfully and successfully. Great change is upon us, and it is up to each of us to make the internal shifts needed to thrive in this newly emerging world. Life is full of opportunities to prosper, and I invite you to take a look at all the ways you have prospered to get to this very moment. Your struggles are not in vain and with the right encouragement and belief in who you are, you will come out the other side a butterfly.

To your RAYdiance,

Sierra J. Sullivan Founder & Publisher

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Goddess Abundantia is the Roman goddess of abundance, good fortune and success. Her name means “plenty” or “overflowing riches.” Abundantia reminds us that the universe is infinite and all-encompassing, and therefore, so is the supply of abundance, opportunity and success. She encourages us to adopt the mindset that there is always enough! We’ve chosen to include this portrait of her by Vanesa Martinelli to bring a blessing of good fortune to you! Visit VanesaMartinelli.com for more by the artist.

The Real Authentic You

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reating an issue of The RAY that is all about abundance got me thinking about how all of my material needs are met, despite the state of our economy. Don’t get me wrong— my retirement savings took a hit and went from having four zeros to being nearly zero, but I understand that all things in life ebb and flow.

For example, we go to sleep at night to gather energy for the next day. It’s a simple process that we don’t fear. We trust that we’ll wake up. I want that type of faith in the rest of my life. When my relationship seems boring, rather than worry I want to trust that the passion is simply gathering steam. When my finances seem to be hibernating, I want to trust that it’s all part of the natural order and that my IRA is just resting before it grows! I refuse to focus on what I don’t have. Sure, I want a million dollars and a nice house and vacations around the world, but what I want more than anything else is serenity and peace of mind. That is something available to me right now if I choose to cultivate it and shift my perspective into a state of gratitude rather than fear. All I have to do is commit to finding the opportunities in the obstacles. I try to remember that we create our realities based on how we choose to look at things, so I encourage you to ask yourself, “Do I have a lack of money right now, or do I have a chance to think creatively? Do I truly have lack in my life, or do I simply need to redirect my attention?” I’d like to suggest that you actually have great abundance in your life—if you just choose to recognize it. I hope to remind you that if you have a little of the following—clothing, healthy food, clean water, friends, freedom of speech, health and healthcare, education, the ability to work—then you have far more than most people in the world. Recognizing that you have an abundance of energy as well, please think about how you may be of service to others today. Shine on!

Jennie Marie Jennie Marie Mahalick Editor-in-Chief

We love to hear from you. Did we stir things up? Inspire you? Did you relate? E-mail us at: Editor@TheRAYmagazine.com 10

v19 2009 | TheRAYmagazine.com

Surrendering Is Important I had a difficult time reading Rob McClinton’s article, “The Problem with Surrendering,” because I never got what he was really trying to say (was it acceptance or surrender?) and because I disagree with his ending concept that you should “forget surrendering.” Besides surrendering during a war, conflict or competition, the personal act of surrendering relates to how we keep and serve our commitments. I don’t think that there is a major mental or spiritual discipline in the world that doesn’t recognize the value and importance of surrendering to all of your commitments. If you don’t surrender to these commitments (that you have personally chosen), you will try to control them or just break them whenever they become inconvenient. You won’t make the necessary sacrifices that commitments often require. In the end, the commitment you have made will fall apart in some way and certainly will not have been fully served. The bottom line here is that surrendering—like all advanced concepts in life (trust, acceptance, purpose and love to name a few)—is an art to learn and master. Don’t be afraid to surrender to your commitments, and remember to never give up. Scott Alan, Founder and Leader of “The Truth About Real Men,” a Seminar for Women

Something Special

our cover girl

Your team of true givers is doing an amazing job to empower women—and men. No matter what, know that you are doing something very special and needed. Victor J. Wedel, PhD, RT, RDMS, The Energy Spa

Great Message I love your magazine and the message behind it. Women are starving for this, and it’s about time! I picked up your beautiful magazine a few months back when I was in the middle of making my new album. The RAY is empowering and inspirational, and it just makes you feel good. Theresa Walker, Singer/Songwriter

Put Off I have been continuously inspired by your magazine, so when I read the article “Intentional Communities” by Christine Breese, I was surprised at the feelings that came up. I felt that her tone was very condescending and that her message was more exclusive than inclusive. I thought you might want to know. Anonymous

Anna Cummins, plastics crusader, is more formally known as the education advisor for the Algalita Marine Research Team. Anna founded BringYourOwn.org to raise awareness of the issue of plastic marine debris. She spends her days educating the world about the perils of plastic in our oceans and the simple things we can do to resolve this pressing ecological disaster. Photographer: Josie Keys Makeup: Jessica DeBen Hair: Beatrice Najera Clothing: Crossroads Trading Co.

The Real Authentic You

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The Real Authentic You

Reader to Reader

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How Do You See Abundance? Through People

I feel an abundance in my belly. My belly is full, and while it is a little uncomfortable, it is also amazing to have movement and life in there. I have an abundance of hormones and emotions too, but I also have an abundance of support. People, that is where abundance comes from in my life. Elizabeth Castro, Scientist

Unusual Ways After a workplace injury left me working fewer hours and earning less income,

I was struggling and could not seem to catch up, even when I returned back to work full-time. I prayed for the means to pay my bills. When I heard a loud car crash outside one day, my immediate response was laughterâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;because I knew it was my car. I felt a burden lift from me. It was the answer to my prayer. My car was actually totaled, and my expensive car and insurance payments were eliminated. Sometimes abundance comes to us in unusual ways. Sometimes we have to let go before the abundance can flow. Nikki Webb, Benefits Specialist and Freelance Writer/Editor

Without Anxiety Abundance immediately makes me think about our current financial climate. I realize that the amount of abundance I feel is related to how much or how little anxiety I am experiencing. I find myself having to fight off my anxiety about life in order to be able to see the abundance. I may be struggling financially, but I have an abundance of friends, love and support, as well as an abundance of books in the library. Good thing anxiety is just a feeling and abundance is real. Elise Belknap, Mental Health Association Training Coordinator

v19 2009 | TheRAYmagazine.com

In Nature I am left in awe when I see the

abundance that nature provides, including the flowers that are the subjects of my latest painting series. I am inspired when I see how effortlessly nature creates an abundance of beautiful plants. It helps me believe that an abundance of harmony and peace can spring forth into my own life. Maggie Haase, Artist

Kindness of Others I find myself crying a lot, not because my parents are dying (they are

ready for death, and I am getting ready to let them go), but rather I cry because of the kindness of so many people who are touching my life and my parents’ lives right now. There is an abundance of support. I am experiencing the loss of loved ones for the first time. It is a learning experience that I hope will help me be a much more sensitive and proactive person. Next time someone I know is going through the grief process of losing a loved one, you can bet that I will be calling, showing up, writing loving notes and making myself useful. And if I become even a tiny bit cynical about the world and its inhabitants, I have only to recall the past few weeks, and I will again weep with wonder at the kindness of womankind. Elizabeth Packard, Retired High-School English Teacher

Everyday Activities

Abundance (n) • an extremely plentiful or oversufficient quantity or supply: an abundance of grain. • full to overflowing: abundance of the heart. • affluence; wealth: the enjoyment of abundance.

To me abundance, like beauty, is about empowerment and inspiration. These are the things that empower me and inspire me: my fabulous dance instructor for Afro-Caribbean dance, Kimberly Mullen; making art; spring; meditation; qigong in the park with Mark Melchiorre; learning to take care of myself instead of others. Marion E. Melchiorre, Teacher and Henna Artist

Do you ever feel you were meant for more? Do you daydream about what you could be doing and don’t know where to start? Do you ever wonder what you’re supposed to be doing? Now is the time to find out. Begin the adventure at RealityAndYou.com

emPowered by The RAY

REALITYANDYOU.COM The Real Authentic You

in the morning give thanks. throughout the day have faith. use less by recycling and reusing to reduce overabundance. when you are of service to others it becomes easier to see the fullness of your life. give to receive. wealth is within... focus on scarcity and you will be unsatisfied; focus on abundance and you will be fulfilled. connect and share your time get

connect

how do you

abundance

with others. go with the flow...if nature can create galaxies then surely it can create harmony in our lives. laugh out loud...a full heart develops through laughter. rather than a house full of things pray for fullness in life. having money without enjoyment is not abundance. make joyful choices. practice self-care...creating a rich life requires that you nurture yourselfâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;only then can you shine.

v19 2009 | TheRAYmagazine.com

The Real Authentic You

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Is Masculinity Draining You? The Importance of Connecting to Our Femininity Dr. Sherie Zander

Today, women want success in business and relationships. Unfortunately, we often exert a lot of masculine energy at work and then continue to use that masculine power with our partners. What worked so well in the workplace may fail miserably at home. Many men are not attracted to women who are operating from their masculine side, because it creates competition. A woman who is focused on being in the moment and loving every minute of it becomes very appealing. When she makes a decision to be her own source

Men may admire and respect womenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s masculine energy, but they probably desire something softer and gentler to cuddle up with.

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One of the little-known benefits for us as women is that when we leave all of that masculine effort at work and let our feminine side take over in our personal lives, we end up using far less energy. Our bodies were not made for masculinity. We produce very little testosterone. When we need more, our adrenal glands produce it, but we often experience adrenal exhaustion. We become rundown and overwhelmed.

When we are in masculine mode, men tend to treat us the way they would treat another man. They get rough and tough. The relationship is full of conflict and competition. Then, when we canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t figure out why we are not being cherished and adored, we become angry, hurt and disappointed.

The solution is not to ditch our masculine side but rather to embrace and reconnect with our femininity. Our feminine power is the amazing ability to make things happen by being rather than doing. It is being able to magnetize rather than manipulate. It is the ability to inspire. It is the power to mesmerize, fascinate and captivate.

Here are 3 simple ways to bring forth your feminine power:

1 feel girly.

Pamper yourself to

Soften your tone and act

3 feel playful.

Do what makes you

Have an adventure, dance, Hula Hoop, try something new!

Identifying and utilizing your femininity will transform your relationships with men, and it will also provide you with a sense of peace and relaxation. Dr. Sherie Zander did her doctoral dissertation for her PhD in psychology on male inexpression of emotion and for 24 years now has been in private practice, specializing in relationships and couple communication. She has created Canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t Love Without It, a company dedicated to providing insightful information about male/female differences. Visit CantLoveWithoutIt.com.

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Unfortunately, most of us have been busy developing the use of our masculine energy and have neglected or even discarded our feminine energy. We have come to believe that masculine is powerful and feminine is weak. The truth is that both are powerful. In any relationship, there is nothing more compelling than a partner who has stopped trying to be in charge and in control.

with compassion.

If you are a woman who wants more of that amazing feminine power in your life, then you will need to identify all of the characteristics of your femininity. Once you have become clear on the difference between masculine and feminine, you will begin to explore more ways to embrace your feminine side.

v19 2009 | TheRAYmagazine.com

of happiness, she will become more magnetizing. So much of what she wants will come to her without pushing to make it happen.

The Real Authentic You

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Claim Your Sexual Power Seven Secrets of the Sexually Empowered Woman By Shari James

This will not be another article on sexual technique—which is inconsequential until you understand the depth of your sexual power. Technique by itself will lead you to being only a man-pleaser, and my goal is to empower you to be a self-pleaser. When you feel whole, love yourself and fearlessly communicate, you will gain the confidence to truly share yourself with another.

took pleasure away, then men would have nothing to live for and could easily be led into war and religious fanaticism. They knew that women held all the sexual power and that the secret to controlling the population was through fear, so they started a smear campaign against the feminine. They came up with fantastical stories like Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. Since Eve’s tempting ways were the fall of man, the lure of sex and the feminine should be feared. Now they had to divide women

truth. The second secret that the sexually empowered woman knows is that she is both Madonna and Whore—sex and love, sacral and heart, chakra combined. The combination of these energies makes her a whole and a vibrant being. The third secret is that she knows selfpleasure is an expression of self-love. She learns to play the notes of her own body like a finely tuned instrument. She explores ways to pleasure herself and experiments with lovers to aid her into delving further into her own exploration. From this place of knowing what she likes and how she likes it, she is able to freely communicate her needs. The fourth secret is that she takes responsibility for her needs by fearlessly

she knows that self-pleasure is an expression of self-love

he first secret to being a sexually empowered woman is to know that we hold all the power when it comes to sexuality. This is no secret to men. Let’s go way back and imagine for a moment that a powerful group of men were having a meeting on ways to manipulate and control the population. They knew that if they controlled sex and

v19 2009 | TheRAYmagazine.com

against their own bodies and each other, so they came up with the Madonna/ Whore campaign about the two Marys, one being a virgin able to give birth and the other a whore looking to be saved. The smear campaign was so brilliant that even women started to believe it. What if this was one of the most brilliant marketing strategies in history? History is his-story, but we are the feminine…the miss-story…the mystery. In this moment, we have the choice to make up our own story based on love and

communicating them. She guides her lover on how to turn her on so that she may experience pleasure and orgasm. She knows it takes her much longer to warm up, so she is always taken care of first before allowing a man to have his orgasm. By communicating ahead of time, she isn’t calling her friends afterward saying, “That selfish so-and-so, he didn’t even try to get me off!” Nope, she is blissfully satisfied and ready to light a candle and take a relaxing bath. The fifth secret is that she is never pressured or rushed into having sex before she is ready. She decides to have sex only

because she wants to. She knows that if a man pressures her and she goes along with it, afterward it may lead to painful emotions or feelings of being taken advantage of. She knows that men are sexually driven and women are more relationally and emotionally driven. Sometimes, just for fun, she playfully

her if misused. Sexuality is like a snake, and if you mishandle it, it will bite you. Another aspect of becoming conscious and empowered is to look at who is at the other end of the penis. The feminine is receptive, and we receive the penis. We take on the male’s energy, so toxic man

if we want to be celibate until we are in love. We can choose monogamy and go deeper into intimacy with one person or scatter it around and keep it light. A quick encounter may be like a yummy appetizer, whereas making love with your partner is a full and luscious meal.

even if it’s just a hot one-night stand, you are not one of those women who coyly says, “oh, i never do this.” you know that you have, so why lie? do guys ever look at us all doe-eyed and say that? puts emotional pressure on men just so they know how it feels to have the tables turned. In the name of equality, if they can push for sex, then we can push for emotions, right? The sixth secret is that she knows that the Goddess gave her multiple orgasms and the ability to feel energized after each encounter. She is free from old programming that “good girls don’t.” Once she is in her power, she knows that her sex drive is equal to a man’s and sometimes even stronger. She doesn’t fall prey to propaganda and brainwashing that men are more sexual than women. Nature has equipped her to take as many lovers as she desires, even at the same time, because as one wears out, she is just getting started. The seventh secret is that she never gives her power away to a man. She gives her power away only when she cares what he thinks of her. But, oh no! What if he thinks I am a big whore because I am so confident? That’s where we get back into Madonna/Whore territory. If he ever tries to make you feel bad, it is his own fear talking, and you do not have to accept it. You are a sexually empowered woman, and you own your power—all of it. Even if it’s just a hot one-night stand, you are not one of those women who coyly says, “Oh, I never do this.” You know that you have, so why lie? Do guys ever look at us all doe-eyed and say that? Now that you have all of this power, guess what? You need to be responsible for it and use it consciously. A sexually empowered woman expresses her sexuality with reverence and never to manipulate or control. She knows that what she puts out, energetically, she will get back. In her wisdom, her experience has been that this energy can turn against

equals toxic penis equals toxic energy inside us…also known as sexual hangover. An empowered, self-loving woman does the math and uses discernment when picking a partner, because healthy man equals healthy penis equals good energy going inside of her. Sex in and of itself is a creative energy, and now it’s time to consciously choose how we want to express it. There are so many choices available to us, and we are all at different stages in our life. We have the power to choose whether we want it from multiple lovers every night of the week or

We can create our own stories devoid of negative, fear-based programming. We can love and please ourselves by consciously choosing partners and how we wish to express our sexuality. It’s time to have fun. Shari James is a coach and teacher of conscious sexuality. Her expertise draws upon seventeen years of exploring various aspects of the erotic arts as well as her background as a registered nurse. Learn more at ModernGoddessCoaching.com.

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The Real Authentic You

Making Sense of Men

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ask Q

Until recently, I found myself attracted to fiery, passionate, extroverted men who were all pursuing careers in the spotlight. I am a performer, pursuing my dreams as well, but I am realizing that I may want a man who has different qualities than me instead of someone who also has a strong need to be seen and heard. What advice can you give me on finding a man who will complement me?

LF, Los Angeles, CA

ALISON SAYS... I’m glad you’re considering a different approach. To identify what you’re looking for, try this: 1) Determine the context. Are you looking for a lover, a playmate or a lifetime partner? The purpose will determine what qualities matter most. 2) Within this context, what can’t you live without? Perhaps honesty, integrity and a fun sense of humor? What can’t you live with? Certain habits or social practices? 3) Think about what you want to give and receive in this relationship. Be as specific as possible. You’ll want to find someone who values what you have to give and who enjoys giving what you’re hoping to receive. Providing all of this information up front, like in an online profile, will have you advertising for what you really want, thus increasing your chances of attracting it. One of the biggest problems with being in relationships with people who are a lot like us is that it causes us to compete with them. As you look for someone who complements your qualities, remember that if you choose someone unlike you, he will not have your strengths either.

Baffled and confused about men? Ask Alison by e-mailing AskAlison@TheRAYmagazine.com

v19 2009 | TheRAYmagazine.com

...I found myself attracted to...very mixed messages...just not that into me?... nicest connection... i n c rease your chances of attraction...yes

I was seeing a man recently who seemed very interested in me. He wined and dined me, slow-danced with me and stared deeply into my eyes while saying that he hadn’t felt that connected to anyone since his wife died. Then, two days later, he told me that he’d reconnected with a former lover and wanted to see where things led with her. Is this a blow-off, or was he “just not that into me”? And, how could he pull the plug so quickly after giving me only positive signals?

TK, Culver City, CA

ALISON SAYS... I understand your confusion. This is what most women would consider a “mixed message,” but that’s because we often interpret men’s words and actions from our own point of view. While feeling “connected” is extremely important for women and something upon which women base many decisions, the same is not true for men. For men, connection is nice and connection is good, but it’s not how they decide the future. He probably thought he had a stronger foundation upon which to build with his former lover. As to the wining and dining and dancing, we need to see what men do as an expression of themselves rather than as an expression of their feelings for us. He probably enjoys those activities himself. As for saying that he hadn’t felt so connected to someone since his wife died, it was probably true. However, it is not the same thing as saying, “You’re the only person I’ve wanted to spend my life with, besides my wife.”

A nationally known author and educator, Alison Armstrong is the CEO of PAX Programs Incorporated. PAX creates peace between the sexes by teaching men and women how to understand and appreciate each other. PAX offers the widely acclaimed Celebrating Men, Satisfying Women® (CMSW) workshop, as well as numerous books and CDs. Visit UnderstandMen.com.

The Real Authentic You

A Man’s Perspective

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Men and the Fear of Intimacy Taking Responsibility for Your Relationship By Melvin Allen

f fear, hurt and disappointment have kept you from entering into your ideal relationship, know that you are not alone. When faced with a fear of intimacy, we have three options: quit and run, stay put like a frozen piece of ice with no emotion or consciously choose to take a risk and feel the exuberance of being alive. To me, that means taking 100% responsibility for your relationships. Women are usually taught at a young age to allow Prince Charming to come and sweep them off their feet. Many women watched Cinderella and Snow White when they were younger. Their mothers didn’t know

Women, if you are emotionally unavailable, lack the ability to be intimate or are unaware of your power, it will affect your relationship, even if you are lucky enough to have Prince Charming ride up.

Most importantly, consciously choose a great communicator or someone who is willing to work on becoming a more effective communicator—this includes the ability to compromise on the most difficult and unpleasant issues. A winat-all-costs attitude will not allow both people to get their needs met.

To cultivate intimacy, learn and study the keys for a successful relationship. Know what your soul requires, not just what you want. What your soul requires is not optional, and what you want can change with age and wisdom.

Finally, lead by being an example of what you want. Seek to give rather than to receive. Provide an affectionate touch, actively listen, make eye contact, make your hellos and good-byes meaningful and try to understand your partner.

of you may need to learn about intimacy together.

before pointing the finger and talking about how you’re not

getting what you want, ask yourself if you’re giving it

that they were teaching their daughters to look for someone else to rescue them and bring passion to their lives.

Many women embrace this fantasy and wait to meet Mr. Right. But, the truth is this: Many eligible men are shy and lack the skills to sweep dust off the floor, let alone be intimate. You may meet a man whose goal is to keep it simple and make you happy, but emotional intimacy may not be a skill he’s developed. You may have to teach him about intimacy, demonstrate it and share it. Or, the two 24

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Identify your top twenty values and choose someone who shares them. Select someone who is committed to growth and development, as they will be more likely to seek and accept help during a relationship crisis. Also, maintain your autonomy. Becoming too attached to the relationship can cause us to lose our self-respect and self-love. People must find ways to meet this and other needs, even when their lives are full with children, friends and family.

Before pointing the finger and talking about how you’re not getting what you want, ask yourself if you’re giving it. Happily married in Los Angeles, Melvin Allen is a life coach, speaker and facilitator specializing in relationships and personal growth. He co-hosts “Relationships 911” and has facilitated hundreds of seminars for singles and couples. Melvin is currently pursuing a PhD in psychology. Contact him at MelvinandSherrie.com or by phone at 310.248.2733.

Evan Marc Katz Dating Coach for smart, strong, successful women

Anyone can go to the gym. Those who want the best results work with a personal trainer. “I am a

personal trainer for people who want to

fall in love.”

Go to EvanMarcKatz.com/TheRAY and get: ~YOUR FREE GIFT~

The 5 Massive Mistakes

You’re Making in Your Love Life & How to Turn them Around Instantly! The Real Authentic You 25 As Seen on Today, The Early Show, CNN, The Tyra Banks Show and Rachael Ray

relate Fusion

A beautiful woman is someone who can be a combination of strong and independent as well as compassionate and vulnerable. Rudy Castro, Drug and Alcohol Counselor

Smarts and... Speaking with a well-developed vocabulary while wearing a cute outfit that shows just the right amount of collarbone! Michael “Fitz” Fitzpatrick, Lead Singer of Fitz and the Tantrums

Confidence There’s nothing more beautiful than confidence. Low self-esteem can make anyone unattractive. Jamie Biggs (with Jen Marony), Coordinating Producer of House Hunters

Easy Peasy A woman who exudes an ease of being is probably going to grab and hold my attention. Confident (without controlling), patient (without procrastinating) and accepting (without rolling over). A sense of humor goes a looong way too. Latif Van Lowe, Production Supervisor

v19 2009 | TheRAYmagazine.com

Fear Factor Never has a word been so f*cked over and shredded beyond measure than this. The first step in figuring out what makes a woman beautiful is to take out the word “beautiful.” Aside from what France tells me I should think beauty is, I am going to go out on a limb and say it’s in the fear a woman brings me. The more courageous I have to be to be with her is directly related to how beautiful I think she is. Ben Buschel, Writer

Humor I think a sense of humor is incredibly attractive in a woman. Lee Ross, Reporter for a Tiny Newspaper

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The Real Authentic You

nurture

When Your Breasts Aren’t Enough Coping With a Low Milk Supply By Joanna L. Fox

The opposite of abundance is scarcity, and that is what I experienced when I tried to nurse my beautiful baby boy, Ronan, after he was born in July of 2008. Ronan slipped into this world and into the arms of his father after an amazingly powerful nine-hour labor. I gave birth on the living-room couch on my hands and knees in front of the picture window. It was the birth I had always dreamed of. The decision to breastfeed was a nobrainer for us. In this day and age, the positive outcomes of breastfeeding for mother, baby and our environment are undeniable. Breastfed babies have a lower incidence of infectious diseases, types 1 and 2 diabetes, obesity, allergies, asthma, lymphoma, leukemia and Hodgkin’s disease, as well as a lower risk of sudden infant death syndrome. Furthermore, breastfeeding can decrease healthcare

the first six months of an infant’s life and supports the choice to breastfeed beyond one year. The World Health Organization (WHO) and UNICEF recommend that babies be breastfed for at least two years. WHO reports that the world average for breastfeeding is 4.2 years. I was committed to breastfeeding for the first six months, and I expected to continue well beyond one year.

sucking strongly enough? Perhaps I needed to feed him more often? Was I doing it right? Did I have enough milk? The advice I got from well-meaning friends, other mothers and family members was conflicting and sometimes ignorant. I started taking herbal supplements purported to increase supply, including fenugreek, nettle, goat’s rue and mother’s-milk tea. I ate oatmeal and

my life’s work as a chef has been to feed and nurture others

what did it mean that I could not feed my own child?

costs by making children healthier, and it uses far fewer resources than producing and distributing formula and bottles. For moms, breastfeeding decreases postpartum bleeding and helps them to lose some of the pregnancy weight. It also lowers the risks of breast cancer, ovarian cancer and osteoporosis. And, we are well past our parents’ or grandparents’ time, when breastfeeding was considered a social faux pas or the convenience of formula was more desirable for a modern homemaker. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends exclusive breastfeeding for

v19 2009 | TheRAYmagazine.com

Unfortunately, I soon learned my first lesson of motherhood: Drop your expectations. Within the first week of a baby’s life, it is normal for them to lose between five and ten percent of their birth weight, but they usually regain this weight by the end of week two. When Ronan’s weight dropped and then did not return two weeks later, I became concerned for his health. I had a difficult time nursing, but I didn’t think it was a problem because I was sure most new mothers had similar challenges. Soon enough, though, I started to wonder if there was a problem. Perhaps he wasn’t

alfalfa sprouts and drank oceans of water. I even had my placenta dried and packed into pills because that was supposed to help! Sadness started to seep into my heart. My life’s work as a chef has been to feed and nurture others. What did it mean that I could not feed my own child? My midwives and postpartum doula were invaluable in helping me stumble through the first couple of weeks of learning breastfeeding’s complexities, but I needed even more help. It turns out that breastfeeding is not just instinctual—it’s a skill! I tried desperately to increase my milk supply and get my tiny new baby to eat. Finally, my midwives and doula

suggested that I call a lactation consultant (LC) for professional help. That is when my relationship with a breast pump began. Breastfeeding is all about supply and demand. The more your baby nurses, the more milk your body makes. When you skip nursing sessions to offer a bottle, your milk production drops. So, the advice from the LC was to pump for ten minutes on each breast in between feedings, day and night. Since Ronan was

because no more is available. Anywhere from five to fifteen percent of women can experience a low milk supply due to a physical problem. We do not know the real number because most women who have difficulties breastfeeding never see an LC. They give up after a few weeks. The most common reason for a low-milk issue is mismanagement. For women with this issue, a visit to the LC is indispensable to correct improper techniques, raise the milk supply, correct a baby’s suck or cure painfully cracked nipples. But when the

deeper to educate themselves and discover new ways to help us with complications. Ronan and I continued to nurse, with formula supplementation, until he was six months old. He is growing like a weed now, and he is a happy, well-adjusted and bright child. I know I did everything I could to make my son’s health the priority. Dealing with this situation has helped me understand that my expectation of motherhood was a fantasy. I had a vision of embodying the Goddess, who spills

the idea that my perfect, unique breasts could be the cause of

my inadequacy was heartbreaking

so hungry, he was nursing every one-anda-half to two hours for forty minutes. You do the math. During an appointment with the LC, we went over everything I had been doing in the past couple of weeks to increase my supply. I felt like a schoolgirl bracing to be scolded, fully expecting to be told I had missed something. But, to my surprise, she praised my accomplishments and said that I was doing everything right. She made some suggestions and told me, “Hang in there.” She tried to reassure me by saying, “It will get better.” I wondered, however, how often just hanging in there actually produced positive results. “One more thing,” the LC began while Ronan was nursing, “I think the shape of your breasts indicates a condition that results in low milk supply.” From across the room she outlined the shape of my bare breasts with her finger. “It is a condition called hypoplasticity or hypoplasia. Hypoplastic breasts are the result of the breast not having enough milk-producing glandular tissue.” Basically, the plumbing works, but there isn’t enough of it. I’m not talking about the fatty tissue—even women with barely an A cup can breastfeed. I’m talking about the milk glands. The idea that my perfect, unique breasts could be the cause of my inadequacy was heartbreaking. And that, as they say, is that. I have no more information on my condition

problem is physiological, it may end up that no amount of pumping or herbs will create enough milk to exclusively nurse a baby. I have not been diagnosed with breast hypoplasia, nor have I had any tests performed that can tell me at all what the issue is. There is no lactation doctor for me to go to for help, and my insurance company has no interest in paying for me to go through the medical system to correct a condition that is not dangerous to my health and is not treatable. It seems that I have been led to a dead end. How can this issue be neglected by medical science when the importance of breastfeeding for both the mother and child has been well established? I should be able to go to my doctor so that together we can work through the problem. The entire physiological process of breastfeeding is still shrouded in a veil of mystery. The hormonal complexities that trigger milk production, regulate flow and respond to the changing needs of a baby are not fully understood. I call upon women to find the passion and curiosity to learn more about one of the most mysterious processes of our bodies. If you’re a new mother, know that when breastfeeding becomes difficult, you are not alone. Visit an LC. Go to your doctor. Ask questions and keep searching for answers, even when they don’t come easily. Only when we insist on these measures will doctors begin to probe

forth mother’s milk onto the earth to nurture and protect all creatures. I am releasing that idea and the idea of who I should be so that I may simply accept myself as I am. And I am a rich, complex woman. That was the first of many times I had to let go. Now I know that motherhood is a lifetime of letting go, grieving and celebrating. For example, I will have to let go when Ronan climbs onto the school bus, and while I celebrate it, I will also grieve. I will do the same when he gets married. I have also let go of the idea that I need to be all things to my son. I didn’t need to be his only source of milk in order to bond with him and help him grow into a strong, healthy boy. This lesson has also helped me to realize that I do not need to be all things to my husband, friends and coworkers. Though I did not have as much milk as I had planned to have or wanted to have, it was enough. Similarly, I will not have all of the answers and will not be able to fix all of the boo-boos, but I will be there to connect with Ronan. I am more than enough. For myself and for my son. Joanna L. Fox is a chef living in Los Angeles. She has been a writer for The RAY since its inception. A creatrix extraordinaire—from cooking to crafts, hosting women’s gatherings and growing green things—she takes great joy in exploring the womanly arts. The Real Authentic You

nurture

Mean Doesn’t Help Compassionate Parenting in Action By Jennie Marie Mahalick

Going to Disneyland is like swimming in a sea of the dominant parenting paradigm. Tense adults are abundant at the Magic Kingdom. On a recent visit there with my family, I quickly became anxious when I realized that not only was I outside the safe bubble of like-minded parents who practice compassionate communication, but many of the parents surrounding us seemed downright mean. ve fun, e to ha r e h e ’r t: We Paren ke it! so act li n’t fun. ed at is ll e y g Bein Child:

crying or we is ride. won’t go on th this ride. want to go on t n’ do I : d il Ch ly be fun, but on Parent: It’ll . ng yi if you stop cr

Parent: Stop

Here is a sampling of what I overheard: Parent: Do n’

Chi

I tried to show the little girl (and the mother) empathy by responding, “It’s hard to wait in line, huh? Especially when all you want to do is play and explore?” The mother responded, “She’s just a brat.” Then, the girl began kicking and one of her shoes dropped to the ground. The mother sighed, She just kicked her shoe off!” “I think the shoe just fell off,” I explained. “No, she did it on purpose. She’s always acting up.” I wanted to cry. I felt so sad for the children who were being told how bad they were all day long. I wondered how I could help that other v19 2009 | TheRAYmagazine.com

mother. I imagined she was feeling overwhelmed. Usually, when I see a mom who seems about to blow, I’ll say, “It’s so hard, isn’t it? Can I help?” But, the mom in front of me had another adult with her and I didn’t want to intrude. I knew I wasn’t the only one noticing what was going on around us all day. Our children pick up on these things too. Perhaps you’ve noticed your child fall silent, frown and then stare at another family while absorbing the negative interactions. That’s when we practice protecting our children by moving in close and saying, “How are you feeling, what are you thinking?” Or, we whisper, “I’m concerned, let’s move.” Knowing that there wasn’t much I could do to change what we’d been witnessing, I turned my attention back to my own child. I knelt down to her level, then sang and danced with her. Several minutes later, as the line moved forward, I noticed the mom ahead of us doing the same thing as her daughter clapped along. I realized that the only thing I can control is my own behavior. That means taking

ld: Y

Par en

t, stop, don’t, stop, don’t do ther, I said ST that eiOP! Just stan d here, don’t touch that. St m o ve . Don’t op playing w ith the chain. the gate.You’ D o n’ t climb re bothering the other pe ople. I can’t take yo u anywhere! Child: (Hun g his head, an d a tear rolle d down his cheek.)

One mother in front of my family was holding her daughter, even though the child was squirming and crying to get down and visit the other children. I think the mother felt embarrassed and was worried about other parents judging her, because she made many disparaging comments like, “The terrible twos never ended for us.”

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care of my own family while modeling the tricks I find effective. My partner and I have discovered that when we’re going to be waiting in a line—at a restaurant or on an airplane, for example—bringing an activity bag helps us to remain engaged with our child. Instead of dreading the wait and feeling anxious about our child’s natural expressions of boredom, we create an opportunity to connect. Keeping healthy food with us is also beneficial, especially since I am less patient and more likely to blow when I haven’t eaten. Unfortunately, other people’s behavior can have a negative impact on us and on our children. While we don’t have any control over other people, we do have control over our own actions, and our behavior can have a positive impact on those around us—including our children—now and then. Jennie Marie Mahalick is a freelance writer and the editor-in-chief of The RAY. Read more of her work at CompassionateParenting.blogspot.com.

Are you considering natural childbirth?

Believe in Birth Request your FREE copy of 10 Steps to Pain-Free Childbirth Go to IntentionalBirth.com/TheRAY The Real Authentic You 31

nurture

Parenting in Stressful Times How to Stay Loving in a Down Economy By Ruth Beaglehole

n a recent parenting class at the Center for Nonviolent Education and Parenting, this question arose: “How can we be the kind of parents we want to be when the economy is crumbling around us? We are scared! We are anxious! We can’t pay the bills! How do we handle the stress in our lives and still be empathetic and understanding with our children?”

To consider the idea of abundance in a time of scarcity is a difficult task. Many of us simply do not have enough money to meet some of our basic needs. Our debt grows and, along with it, our stress. We need to connect with a different kind of abundance— that which comes from within. When we take care of ourselves and when we manage our own stress, we can offer our children an abundance of love, an abundance of understanding and an abundance of compassion. The practice of nonviolence in parenting is based on the concept that children should be treated with respect and dignity at all times. To accomplish this simple yet radical principle, we have to maintain a long-range view of what the future holds for our kids. What kind of adults do we hope that they will become? How do we hope that they will deal with challenges? In every moment, we have an opportunity to model for our children ways in which a healthy adult can be kind and loving, even in times of stress. This kind of mindfulness in parenting is contrary to the conventional “wisdom” of the dominant paradigm of raising children in our culture. We must examine the old messages that have prevailed for so long, that “children should be seen and not heard,” that rules are to be followed because “I said so” and that behavior should be controlled through fear. The paradigm shift can begin with the concept of moving toward abundance. What a relief it will be for our children to know that their parents have enough joy and energy for their kids! Ruth Beaglehole is the founder and executive director of the Center for Nonviolent Education and Parenting in Los Angeles. 32

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The Real Authentic You

prosper

Prosperity Is an Attitude

How a Rich State of Mind Creates a Rich Life BY CHRISTIANE SCHULL

rosperity is a feeling of well-being...of being richly in the flow of life, able to participate as fully as we choose in every moment. It is about feeling joyful, loving, grateful, happy, appreciative, at peace, contented, healthy, wealthy, radiant and excited about who we are, what we have in our lives and what we are creating. When we feel prosperous, everything flows: money, love, success, opportunity, health, support, work, fun, good relationships. When we feel prosperous, we feel capable of tackling what is in front of us. We take prosperous actions. We feel connected to other people. We engage with life, we think well of ourselves and others, we jump into things with gusto. Prosperity is about feeling connected to our true purpose and to an abundant, benevolent universe. When we set intentions to fully utilize our gifts and talents in service to the world, the universe brings us extraordinary opportunities to shine. There is no greater prosperity than being who we are. 34

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the more love you feel for yourself, the more you will open up and

allow creativity, prosperity and abundance into your life Years ago, I had dinner with a friend who not only represented wealthy clients but also seemed to be constantly in the flow of money. He drove a beautiful car, ate out a lot, dressed really well and socialized with interesting people. I admit that I was envious. I wondered, “What does he know that I don’t?” It’s amazing what happened when I began to question and examine my relationship with money. For a split second, I fell into the trance of conventional thinking: “Well, he’s a man. Of course men are ahead of women, know things we don’t and always make more money than we do.” Where did I get that thinking? My mother! I realized that it was not really his gender that mattered. He had what he had because he thought a certain way, talked a certain way, felt a certain way and moved about the world in a certain way. I did not. After dinner, he told me stories about his clients’ prosperity. Sorrow tainted with disdain rose like a fever inside me, and I blurted out, “I bet this guy’s an a**hole!” My friend looked at me with wide eyes and gasped, then he smiled and said, “Actually, he’s one of the kindest, most charitable men on the planet. You would really like him.” Ouch. I was embarrassed and ashamed. But, the moment taught me volumes about how I needed to grow and change. It was clear that I had been laboring under some antiquated notions about self-worth, money and people with money. These

ideas and beliefs were no longer serving me. In fact, they were hindering my ability to prosper! Since that dinner, I’ve been on a journey to develop a prosperity consciousness. Here are some things I have learned about money:

Money is love. Money flows to us from

people and flows from us to people. The more love you feel for yourself, the more you will open up and allow creativity, prosperity and abundance into your life. Being loving toward others will allow the floodgates to open where there was once a dam blocking you. Then, you will be in the flow of prosperity.

Money says “yes” to your thoughts about it. What are your thoughts about

money? Are they happy, joyful and positive? Or are they doubtful, fearful and judgmental? Money is a form of energy, and where attention goes, energy follows. Take daily inventory of your thoughts and really root out those that are negative and limiting. Choose more positive thoughts about money and your worthiness to receive it. Practice speaking and thinking the highest: “Money is beautiful, bountiful and benevolent. Money is in rich supply in my life. Large sums of money now come to me just because I’m me. The more I share my gifts and talents with the world, the more money I make. I deserve to be rich.”

If you want abundance, forgive.

Forgiveness is the master key to attracting money and all forms of abundance. Forgiveness lifts the veil of darkness on our lives and allows love and prosperity to pour in. The most powerful teacher of forgiveness and peacemaking I have worked with is Howard Wills. His forgiveness prayers and affirmations are mighty, fast and lasting.

Money is meant to be shared. Money

in circulation is key to wealth. Money, like love, is meant to be shared. It can only benefit the world when shared. Tithing is one of the highest expressions of giving. When you tithe, you take ten percent or more of the income you receive and send it forward to thank and bless

an organization, charity, cause, mission, church, ministry or person that has blessed your life. Tithing is an act of true faith in the abundance of the universe and in your connection to it. Money—and all manner of good fortune—will always find its way to you if you are tithing. Money don’t mean a thing if it ain’t got that swing! Money won’t mean a

thing if it hasn’t got a meaningful reason for being in your life. I remember a man telling me that when he made his goal of twenty million dollars, he never felt emptier in his life. That was when he decided to be of service and do something that could make a difference in someone else’s life. If your desire for money is paired with a great dream and a desire to be truly of service, you will attract the resources to make it happen. Consider: What is your dream? How would you love to make a difference? Dr. Joseph Murphy wrote The Power of Your Subconscious Mind and taught people about prosperity for more than fifty years, until his death in 1981. He said, “You will always be wealthy when you have an intense desire to contribute to the good of mankind. Your urge for service—i.e., to give of your talents to the world—will always find a response in the heart of the universe.” He also wrote, “You will grow rich by the use of your God-given faculties and by tuning in with the Infinite, and as your mind becomes productive and full of good ideas, your labor will become more productive.”

Christiane Schull began her career in Toronto as an award-winning copywriter, and a producer-writer in reality TV. She moved to Los Angeles in 1997 and three years later created The Prosperity Circle, an experiential gathering teaching people to elevate their consciousness, transform how they feel and create the lives they love. The Real Authentic You

prosper

Bountiful Buddies How to Vision With a Partner By Christine Kloser

n times like these, when the external world is absorbed in scarcity and lack, it’s more important than ever to shift into abundance...and stay there. Yet, when I analyzed the responses to my recent survey on the challenges women face in their businesses, the majority of respondents said they were having trouble getting out of fear and living in abundance.

One of the most powerful tools I use to shift into abundance, no matter what’s happening around me, is a process that’s simple, energizing and fun. And it works! STEP 1: FIND A VISION PARTNER

In order for your vision to have the biggest impact on your life, it’s best to energetically speak your vision out loud to a vision partner. Your partner needs to be someone who gets you and who believes in an abundant world. Create a partnership with someone who supports you in your dreams, doesn’t call you crazy

STEP 3: CREATE A SACRED SPACE

When it’s time for your vision call, you’ll want to do a brief centering exercise that aligns you with each other and establishes the sacred space that you’ll share together. Just taking a few deep breaths together can easily get you centered. (That’s the yoga instructor in me speaking.) STEP 4: SPEAK YOUR VISION

After you’ve taken a few deep breaths and created a sacred space together, the first person to speak simply begins to describe their vision as if experiencing it in the moment! This will allow you to transcend any current situation in your life and truly shift into the energy of your vision so that it is already being realized. When you do this, you connect at the highest level to the Infinite Abundant Supply, to God, the Universe or whatever you call that Source of all that is. Your resonance

any additional words of support or any insights they received that would benefit their partner in realizing their vision. The experience of having another person listen to you with the intention of your vision being realized is deeply powerful. It’s been one of the best tools I’ve ever used in manifesting all that has come to me in recent years, from the birth of my daughter and the purchase of a brandnew custom home to the release of one business and the rapid expansion of another. I urge you to find a partner and get started with this today! Remember, not only is it fun, it works! NOTE: If you cannot find a vision partner for this process, then you can simply do it on your own. Be sure to

the experience of having another person listen to you with the intention of your vision being realized is deeply powerful for thinking big and understands the power of a held intention.

with this field is what causes things to shift in your life.

STEP 2: SET UP A TIME TO TALK WITH YOUR PARTNER

STEP 5: LISTEN TO YOUR PARTNER

Once you’ve found a visioning partner, make an appointment to talk on the phone for at least fifteen minutes every week. The first time you have your call, you may want to schedule for a bit longer so you can talk about the process you’re using to make your vision a reality. Check in to see if either of you has suggestions or feedback for future sessions.

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As important as it is for the person speaking their vision to step into the energy of having already realized their dreams, the partner (listener) also has an important responsibility. The listener must hear their partner’s vision as if it has already happened. They must hold the vision and see it as vividly as their partner does. Then, when the partner is finished, the listener says, “I see that vision for you.” The listener can also contribute

speak your vision out loud, even if only to yourself. The spoken word and the energy it carries is a key piece for this to work. Christine Kloser, best-selling author of The Freedom Formula, helps smallbusiness owners put soul in their business and money in the bank. If you want to discover how to integrate more spirit into your business, you can get her free CD, The Top 3 Ways to Tap Into the Biggest Trend in Business Ever, by visiting FreedomFormulaExperience.com.

money What to Do When Money Is Tight By Christiane Schull

Remember that necessity is the mother of invention. Great inventions, creations and opportunities emerge when times are tough.

Tell the truth to yourself first and then to a trusted friend or family member. This allows you to move from a feeling of shame and secrecy to a place of self-acceptance and freedom.

Cutting down on expenses is a natural thing to do when money gets tight. Throw a potluck, and watch what happens when you share the burden of this time with friends instead of keeping it to yourself.

Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not the issue but how you relate to the issue that matters. The spirit in which you regard what is happening around you is key. If you approach things through a lens of fear, you are going to attract more fear.

Stay in positive expectation and gratitude. Be delighted with life. You could take yourself out or rent or borrow a funny movie. Laughter is always good medicine and lightens our load.

Communicate with your creditors. Expect people to work with you and they will. Expect to be delighted.

The Real Authentic You

prosper

Economics 2.0 Adapt to a Changing Economy By Page Turner

on’t believe the hype. We are actually in a time of great abundance. An abundance of energy, creative power and technology exists in the world now more than ever. While the outmoded constructs of greed and excess crumble around us, we have a unique opportunity to create something vastly different and immensely beautiful. Rather than looking at this economic situation as a dying caterpillar, I’m choosing to see it as an emerging butterfly. As above, so below…and as below, so above.

Newer sciences like fractal geometry and quantum physics are proving that this saying rings truer than we have realized. The more we peer into the depths of space, of both the infinitely large and infinitely small, the more our greatest scientific minds are discovering firsthand that all is one. Every construct of reality reflects a repeating geometric pattern (the fractal) that is self-similar on every level. We now know that Einstein was right: The unifying field is the sole governing entity of the particle. With this knowledge, the entangled quandaries of the old paradigm fall away before us like dust blown off of a marvelous piece of art. Pondering our present condition from this new holistic paradigm, our economic woes make perfect sense. A living system, such as a human being, grows very rapidly from birth until it reaches a point of maturity and then no longer needs to grow physically. If the organism’s growth does not stabilize, the body will become too large for the organs to sustain it. Similarly, natural 38

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regulatory agents have intervened in our economic path to prevent an abominable fate. We’ve stuffed ourselves so full of the American lifestyle that humanity is now choking on its own fat. Time to exercise! Now, we just have to figure out how to stabilize our weight while providing for the needs and, dare we say, wants of every individual as well as the greater community. We look from the macro to the micro by looking within for the answers. The cells of our bodies get paid based on their service to the healthy function of the whole. Their currency is the energybearing molecule ATP. This molecule is a highly complex, powerful technology that provides the essential energy for every living organism in existence... leading me to believe that it is no coincidence that both energy and money are synonymous with power.

Fifty trillion cells share power in perfect harmony in our bodies, so long as the collective wisdom (the brain) is guiding them to correct function through information- and energy-sharing technology so advanced that modern science still doesn’t fully grasp how it works. When we are in bliss, fifty trillion cells are vibrating in perfect harmony. And they don’t need wars in order for a few cells to become wealthy and overgrown; they delegate tasks and agree to function individually at their greatest potential to create a healthy organism. Even though a liver cell seems vastly different from a cell in the eye, they both help to create and influence the body. When we all learn to access the collective wisdom of humanity, and keep the well-being of the whole in mind through every action, we all will thrive in a diverse and highly technologically advanced society, just like our cells.

How do we turn this dying caterpillar into a butterfly? We go out on a limb. We redefine our system of energy exchange. It can start like this: If I need my car fixed, I’ll go to a mechanic who is seeking the skills I have. Since I am a hypnotherapist, I’ll trade those services. Individuals trade skills, information and technology dollar for dollar or hour for hour. This means shedding the confines of debt and lending. What you give is what you get, and what’s left over goes to the whole. This is not communism. Some skills are more valuable than others and are paid accordingly. For example, a biomechanical engineer’s services require more resources than my hypnosis sessions. This engineer would be paid accordingly, just as a nerve cell receives more energy than a skin cell.

Become emPowered! You may have noticed we’re a little different. That’s because we’re more than a magazine. We are a movement on a mission to transform the way women feel about themselves.

Picture humanity as one living being. Right now, some parts are abundant to the point of obesity while others are deprived and dying. Let’s go out on a limb, like a caterpillar, and transform so that we can fly. Page Turner is a certified hypnotist, yoga and Pilates instructor, writer and associate editor of The RAY. You can contact her at PagesHypnoYoga.com.

Beauty is not vanity it’s valuing yourself

We aim to spotlight companies that offer products and services in alignment with our mission. Learn more about how The RAY can emPower your business. Contact us today. Partner@TheRAYmagazine.com Your Net Worth starts with Your Self Worth!

INCREASE YOUR BOTTOM-LINE NOW AT WWW.THEBILLIONDOLLARBEAUTY.COM

The Real Authentic You

prosper

If the Buddha Drove a Benz Being Spiritual and Successful By Max Simon

I have spent much of my life seeking balance between seemingly opposite human experiences: acceptance and uniqueness, health and indulgence, intimacy and boundaries. The people I coach in business seem to share another common challenge: the balance between spirituality and success. My story highlights this struggle. On one hand, I have the strong desire to contribute to the greater good, be of service and be spiritual. On the other hand, I want to live in a big home, wear expensive clothes, drive fancy cars and be successful. Can you relate? As my journey has unfolded, I have come to realize that having these material things is not what creates imbalance. It is actually the process of acquiring these things that brings up my sh*t. If you’ve ever tried to make a lot of money while acting from a spiritual center, you know that it is not an easy task, at least not at first. Playing a big game requires a tremendous amount of dedication, focus, strategy and energy. Spending time with any wealthy person will allow you to see how much consciousness goes into manifesting their goal. It is no small feat. I like to use the analogy of pushing a flywheel. When you first begin, you have to push really hard just to get things moving. If you take your attention away for even one moment, all progress will be lost, and the wheel slows to a halt. Yet, if you remain focused and dedicated, pushing with all your might, the wheel will begin to turn little by little and then will pick up momentum. In your own life, that momentum can come through other people as they take notice, get inspired by your dedication and then join your mission—along with the lessons you’ll learn and the unwavering leadership you’ll exhibit. As you and your team keep pushing, the wheel will turn faster and faster until

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you’ll barely need to do anything to keep things moving forward. In the beginning, it is far from easy. In fact, between the time, energy and focus it takes to create a healthy, spiritually based business and the many challenges that arise along the way, you will question yourself: “Is this worth it? Am I doing this because I want to make an impact or because I want a lot of money? Do I have to compromise my integrity to earn big bucks? Is my lack of success a spiritual sign that I am on the wrong path?” Hence the internal conflict that arises between being spiritual and being a successful entrepreneur. After a few years of working it out, I’ve come to discover that the answer is complex and ever-changing. I have three very clear suggestions:

Use the tools that will keep you centered every day. Meditation is my tool of choice and what I love teaching the most. But, you can also utilize breath techniques to move the energy in the body and surround yourself with nourishing sensory impressions (sights, sounds, touches, tastes and smells). These tools are essential to keep your mind clear and focused so that you can make the best decisions for your business.

Be devoted to the process. There was a large, sturdy oak tree that gave shade to hundreds of people every day. Before this tree was able to provide so much value to the world, it started as an oak seed. Within this little seed was

the potential for the tree to blossom into something great. However, because of the laws of nature, there was no possible way that this seed could become a tree overnight. Instead, it needed time, energy, nourishment and support. With these ingredients, it blossomed into something magnificent. Allow for your own evolution to be exactly the same. Know that you

Know that it’s possible to do good and do well. I have coined a new term for the people I coach: “Evolutionary Entrepreneurs.” They are people with a big vision that want to make a powerful impact and a lot of money. I have learned that this will never happen until you open up space in

spending time with any wealthy person will allow you to see how much

consciousness goes into manifesting their goal. it is no small feat

possess the potential to have a great impact on the world, but also create space for the process to unfold naturally, organically and over time. Straining will not make the tree grow any faster.

the mind for it to be possible. You have something amazing to offer the world. Your products and services are valuable. You can earn a very healthy living doing what you love. Knowing that it is possible is the first step.

Max Simon is the visionary behind selfcentered, a global authority for entrepreneurs, artists and students to learn the secret tools to get centered, to enjoy the chaos in life and business and to achieve abundant levels of success. Visit Getselfcentered.com.

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shine

with Josie Maran expert artists. I was surprised to see how makeup could transform not just my look but also my mood! It was the birth of my first child that jump-started my relationship with makeup. When I was pregnant, I became more conscious than ever about the products I used. I was inspired to find a line of cosmetics that was safe and free from parabens and toxins—and then realized that my calling was to create my own signature line, Josie Maran Cosmetics.

was raised in a bohemian household in Northern California, so I grew up appreciating natural, unpretentious beauty. When I compared the supposedly glamorous women I saw in magazines to my mother, who never wore a drop of makeup, it was no contest—my mom was, and still is, a true beauty.

In my quest for great products, I was introduced to argan oil. Organically grown in Morocco, it is rich in essential fatty acids and vitamin E. It has been used to treat acne, stretch marks and skin conditions like eczema and psoriasis. Argan oil is one of my favorite beauty secrets.

Following my mother’s lead, I opted to avoid cosmetics altogether. However, I launched a full-time modeling career after high school, and as I began to land jobs, I discovered that makeup is not the enemy. I’d never even applied lip gloss, yet there I was learning trade secrets from teams of

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I also believe that makeup is a luxury, and that it can and should be produced with a conscience. The argan oil that I use is purchased from a women’s cooperative in Morocco, which supports social and

economic welfare. Since argan trees are endangered, these cooperatives work within a UNESCO biosphere reserve, ensuring the protection and reforestation of argan trees. Argan oil can be used in the following ways: • To condition hair • To soften cuticles • On the face, to moisturize and help diminish red blemishes • As a post-shower moisturizer • In a relaxing bath Argan oil’s nutritious properties can also protect your skin and hair from the drying effects of the sun, the wind and sea salt. Because it’s still grown in a small and very specific area, it’s still one of the rarest ingredients in the world. I invite you to enjoy all the benefits of my favorite moisturizer! Visit JosieMaranCosmetics.com to find out more about her signature line, upcoming projects and her conscious products.

Tips for use • Apply a small amount to fingers or sponge and smooth over desired areas (face, shoulders, chest, arms and even legs). • Use during the summer, after sun and as a post-shower moisturizer. • Use during the winter, to illuminate pale skin with a sheer glow similar to a natural tan. Also enhances the beauty of already-tanned skin. • Cover up any face or body blemishes. • Contour, to accentuate curves and define muscles. • Run some through your hair—it brightens all colors.

Josie Maran Cosmetics’ Bronzing Argan Oil 42

• Add a few drops to any moisturizing lotion, for a touch of shimmer.

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The Real Authentic You

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“Are My Eyelashes Fat?” Accepting the Reflection—Not the Projection By Erin Huggins

ith my heart unguarded, I stand before you ready to confess. Until this exact moment I have never admitted to anyone that I have issues with my body. I have been in denial—deep, dark denial. The kind of denial so deep that I have sometimes lost sight of why I chose a career in health and wellness in the first place. As a health and wellness coach, it is my job to teach others how to love themselves and their bodies too, but I have gotten caught up with presenting the image

there’s some loose skin! What the hell is that—another stretch mark?” Instantly, I start to think of ways to put the smackdown on all this “real woman” stuff. But, the last straw came for me a few nights ago. I was watching TV and along came Maybelline with their new and improved, better-than-ever mascara. The ad encouraged me to use Maybelline so I could get “long and lean eyelashes”! Uh, what? Now my eyelashes are fat?! Damn. Here I thought my eyelashes were fine.

am putting my foot down and declaring to the world that from now on I will love my body unconditionally, just the way it is. I will continue my rituals of yoga and Pilates. I will continue to fill my belly with a natural, metabolically appropriate diet. I will continue to treat my skin with tender loving care. I will continue to pamper myself when I need it. I will continue to do all of this because I deserve to feel vital, strong and clear-headed. I deserve to be healthy, happy and free from

I will no longer let media images distort the way I see myself of a healthy person rather than just being a healthy person. How cliché: the health and wellness expert in serious need of a self-love lesson.

Recently, I began questioning the motive behind my exercise routine, nutritional cleanse, macrobiotic meals and all other healthy lifestyle rituals. Bigger questions arose when I looked in my bathroom at my various creams, potions, lotions, scrubs, makeup and latest must-have beauty gadgets. What’s with my workout obsession? Why do I need all this stuff? Is it so that I can be healthy or so that I can look good naked—and when I say good, I mean mainstream-media, porn-star, airbrushed good—the kind that’s not found in nature. The truth is, when I look at myself naked and see a “real woman” standing before me, I freak: “Sh*t, I see cellulite! Fantastic, 44

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I have always known intellectually that we are bombarded by messages that are designed to make us question our selfworth as women, but I think it was the blatant ridiculousness of this ad that just smacked me in the face with some reality: My mind had been poisoned. I honestly thought I had outsmarted the attacks on my self-image, but then I realized that the only reason that ad made its way into my conscious mind was because it was so outlandish. I sat there and wondered how many messages had snuck in under the radar and infected me with lies. Then, something just shifted. I was not going to let Maybelline take my eyelashes hostage. At that moment, I decided to take my body back—every beautiful piece of it. I do not want to chase after being some cyborg of a woman anymore. I refuse. I

superficial insecurities. I deserve to be smart and savvy and to live abundantly. I deserve to look at myself naked and love what I see looking back at me. This is my birthright. From now on, I will determine my own standards for how I should be and how I should look. I will no longer let media images distort the way I see myself. I will no longer run off to the gym with an obligation to society but rather with an obligation to myself and myself alone. A rebel with a cause, Erin Huggins has a passion for healthy living. You can get fit with her Pilates workouts and enhance your health with powerful products to help you achieve the lifestyle you desire. Erin is a certified Pilates instructor, a metabolic typing advisor and the CEO of Rebel With A Cause Inc., a lifestyle coaching company. Visit ErinHuggins.com.

Self-acceptance and self-love. Instead of picking at my flaws, embracing my strengths. Banessa Muñoz

I feel best after a long run, because then I feel strong. Alysia Perez

A pair of comfortable jeans that fit well, and my faith. Sarai Henry-John

I feel most beautiful, confident, at ease and comfortable when I’m alone in my underwear relaxing with a glass of red wine. Karmen Aghazarian

Laughter. Crystal Robles

Red lipstick, while driving my classic car with the windows down and the wind blowing through my hair. Juliana Gonzales

When I’m consistent with my workout routine. Not because I weigh myself, but because then I feel more confident. Marlene Baboumian The Real Authentic You

shine

By Scarlett Johansson

hile training for an upcoming film, I’ve come to this conclusion: Chin-ups are near impossible, and lunges suck. There is no magic wand to wave over oneself to look good in a latex catsuit. Eating healthy and getting fit is about commitment, determination, consistency and the dedication to self-preservation. While I’ve never been considered a gym rat, I have, in fact, worked up a sweat in the name of cardio before, and although I enjoy a grilled cheese as much as the next person, I combine the notso-good foods I crave with an all-around balanced diet.

People come in all shapes and sizes, and everyone has the capability to meet their maximum potential. Once filming is completed, I’ll no longer need to rehash the fifty ways to lift a dumbbell, but I’ll commit to working out at least thirty minutes a day and eating a balanced diet of fruits, vegetables and lean proteins. Pull-ups, crunches, lunges, squats, jumping jacks, planks, walking, jogging and push-ups are all exercises that can be performed without fancy trainers or gym memberships. I’ve realized through this process that no matter how busy my life may be, I feel better when I take a little time to focus on staying active. We can all pledge to have healthy bodies no matter how diverse our lifestyles may be. Since I dedicated myself to getting into “superhero shape,” several articles regarding my weight have been brought to my attention. Claims have been made that I’ve been on a strict workout routine regulated by co-stars, whipped into shape by trainers I’ve never met, eating sprouted grains I can’t pronounce and ultimately losing fourteen pounds off my fivefoot-three frame. Losing fourteen pounds out of necessity in order to live a healthier life is a huge victory. I’m a petite person to begin with, so the idea of my losing this amount of weight is utter lunacy. If I were to lose fourteen

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pounds, I’d have to part with both arms. And a foot. I’m frustrated with the irresponsibility of tabloid media who sell the public ideas about what we should look like and how we should get there. Every time I pass a newsstand, the bold yellow font of tabloid and lifestyle magazines screams out at me, “Look Who’s Lost It!” “They Were Fabby and Now They’re Flabby!” “They Were Flabby and Now They’re Flat!” We’re all aware of the sagas these glossies create: “Look Who’s Still a Sea Cow After Giving Birth to Twins!” Or the equally perverse:

imaginary account of “How She Did It!” I get into and stay in shape by eating a proper diet and maintaining a healthy amount of exercise. The press should be held accountable for the false ideals they sell to their readers regarding body image—that’s the real weight of the issue. NEDA goes on to say, “The media is one of our most important allies in the effort to raise awareness about the dangers of eating disorders.... We strive to work with the media to produce accurate, insightful and informative pieces that will resonate with the public while maintaining hope and avoiding glamorizing or promoting

dollars from that issue alone (money I felt should be donated to Operation Smile or an equally well-managed charity helping those in need of reconstructive surgery). The concept of “Stars Are Just Like Us!” makes us feel connected to lifestyles that can sometime seem out of this world. Yes, celebrities are just like us. They struggle with demons and overcome obstacles and have annoying habits and battle vices. That said, I would be absolutely mortified to discover that some fifteen-year-old girl in Kansas City had read one of these “articles” and decided that she wasn’t going to eat for a couple of weeks, so that

it’s great to get tips on how to lead a healthier lifestyle, but I don’t want some imaginary account of “How She Did It!” I get into and stay in shape by eating a proper diet and maintaining a healthy amount of exercise “Slammin’ Post-Baby Beach Bodies Just Four Days After Crowning!” According to the National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA), as many as ten million females and one million males living in the US are fighting a lifeand-death battle with anorexia or bulimia. I’m someone who has always publicly advocated a healthy body image, and the idea that the media would maintain that I have lost an impossible amount of weight by some sort of “crash diet” or miracle workout is ludicrous. I believe it’s reckless and dangerous for these publications to sell the story that these are acceptable ways to looking like a “movie star.” It’s great to get tips on how to lead a healthier lifestyle, but I don’t want some

copycats.” But how are we, the readers, to decipher friend from foe? How are we supposed to view articles highlighting celebrity cellulite and not sulk in the mirror, imagining big red arrows pointing to various parts of our bodies? The media has packaged for us an unhealthy idea that one must suffer loss, be in the middle of a nervous breakdown, feel pressure from friends or coworkers, battle divorce or have a bitter dispute with an ex in order to get into acceptable bikini shape. So why do these publications do so well? After appearing on the cover of US Weekly’s “Did They or Didn’t They? A Plastic-Surgery Guide for Dimwits” issue and battling for a retraction, I learned that the magazine profited by 1.4 million

she too could “crash diet” and look like Scarlett Johansson. I’m not normally the type to dignify toilet-paper rags with a response, but in this case, I feel it’s my responsibility to comment. In a way, I’m glad some dummy journalist—and I use the term “journalist” loosely—is banking on my “deflating” so that I can address the issue straight from my healthy heart. For more information on eating disorders and/or treatment options, please visit: NationalEatingDisorders.org First published in The Huffington Post

people come in all shapes and sizes, and everyone has the capability to meet their maximum potential

The Real Authentic You

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by Ronald K. Smith

“Let’s do a fashion spread for the relaunch issue!” one of my team members exclaimed. My first thought was, “Absolutely not.” The RAY is about promoting positive body image and increasing self-esteem. I have seen the statistics and know that images of models really do make people look down on themselves, so I figured there was no way that the publisher would allow a fashion shoot.

1 We got to thinking and came up with a concept that gave us the allure of fashion while still holding true to the values of our mission. We decided to use everyday women from our community as the models. In further discussions, we came up with a deeper concept of using recycled clothing

Well, what we have created is a visual representation of what is and what could be. On the left of the spread, we chose examples of abundance that are currently plaguing our world. On the other page, the right page, are images that illustrate what is happening to improve our situation. They hint at what is possible if we all rethink how our culture operates collectively.

to feed the American demand for plastic water bottles. US commercial productions go through seven hundred single-use plastic bottles per hour. Holy cow! And, remember: This is just water bottles! Our fashion spread illustrates these excesses juxtaposed against sustainable concepts and affordable fashion. Our

regular women can be every bit as beautiful as models as fashion. Crossroads Trading Co. donated the apparel, and our fashion shoot was under way. The theme for this issue is abundance. So, I wondered: “How do we, as artists, create a palette of abundance?” I wanted this edition to have some sort of social commentary to boot! Is abundance good? Is abundance bad? The Buddha says there is no good or bad, only what is…so, how does that work?

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Imagine a world without plastic water bottles! Imagine every human carrying around Klean Kanteens and filling them up at clean-water stations all over the place. Store owners could even make a profit by having water purification machines on site—pop in a quarter and fill up your canteen! Plus, this will eliminate more than sixty million plastic water bottles ending up in landfills each day. That’s twentytwo billion water bottles per year, not to mention that it takes forty-seven million gallons of oil (enough to take one hundred thousand cars off the road and one billion pounds of CO2 out of the atmosphere)

spread also illustrates that regular women can be every bit as beautiful as models. Alison Lipman, in photo number one, is a PhD ecologist with thirteen years’ experience directing conservation projects in the Amazon and the US. Tired of the status quo in conservation planning, Alison founded SELVA International, an innovative nonprofit that implements a new model for conservation based on local management, sound science and good economics. Check it out at SelvaInternational.org.

Alison told us, “I had a great time modeling for The RAY! To be honest, I never knew modeling could be so hard— my legs hurt in those crazy heels, and I almost fell over more than once! It’s much easier to hike all day through the jungle. However, I love fashion and the idea of using glamour to promote environmental awareness.” Anna Cummins, in photo number two, has a master’s in international environmental policy. In 2007, she joined the Algalita Marine Research Foundation’s sixth research expedition, sailing on a junk raft four thousand miles from Hawaii to Los Angeles and witnessing firsthand the rapid accumulation of plastic pollution in the Pacific Ocean. She also recently finished a two-thousand-mile

cycling and speaking tour from Vancouver to Mexico, giving forty talks on plastic pollution with her fiancé, Dr. Marcus Eriksen. Together, they give away samples of the plastic soup from the Pacific Ocean to legislators and educators. You can get updates at BringYourOwn.org.

spending six years working with wind energy and electrifying remote villages with renewable energy systems, Daniela co-founded Ghigos Energy (GhigosEnergy. com), an engineering and architectural studio that designs energy efficiency systems and energy conservation strategies.

Anna enthusiastically said, “I immediately loved the concept of this fashion shoot— demystifying glamour and showing that even regular women can be transformed through wardrobe, makeup and a fun atmosphere.”

Daniela admitted, “I immediately loved The RAY’s concept, but I was hesitant because I couldn’t imagine myself in a magazine fashion spread. This experience gave me more confidence and helped me to see that we are all beautiful.”

Daniela Pangallo, in photo number three, earned an MBA from the University of Turin, Italy, and a Certificate of International Field Study from UCLA’s Anderson School of Management. After

Check out live interviews with each of these amazing women on our website, at TheRAYmagazine.com/TrashyFashion. Enjoy!

Background image by Peter Bongers

Our Fashion Shoot Team Special Thanks Reverend Gadget of Left Coast Electric Jetty Jewels Line 204 Studios for the use of their beautiful stages Crossroads Trading Co. for donating the clothes

Photographer: Josie Keys Makeup: Jessica DeBen and Joey Acosta Hair: Beatrice Najera Fashion Assistant: Sophie McLaughlin Art Director: Bonnie Temple Gaffer: John Zazzara Production Coordinator: Cole Godvin Camera Operator: Sherri Miranda

The car in the photo is a joint venture between Left Coast Electric, Inc., and Ecolectica LLC. It is a fully electric Speedster reproduction with a real-world range of about one hundred miles, and it is powered by lithium polymer batteries. Left Coast Electric is in the business of converting cars to full electric power. The cost of operating this car is about one cent per mile, and its electricity can come from renewable sources. Left Coast Electric is in production on fifteen hundred Porsches for the Los Angeles market, set to roll out in 2010. Visit LeftCoastElectric.com.

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The Real Authentic You

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The Wisdom of the Body A Misunderstood Messenger By Tarnie Fulloon

• You are fatigued, but can’t seem to rest.

The body is so much more than we realize. It doesn’t lie! It holds the truth, knowledge, wisdom and information that we need to heal. It is the gateway to our intuition and the source of our power. It holds our most heartfelt dreams and the keys for how to realize them. Our bodies also hold our emotions and experiences, along with our histories and traumas. All of this—our joy, our sorrow, our divine life purpose—is literally stored in the cells of our body. Amazing, isn’t it?

• You have health issues like diabetes, depression, anxiety or excess body weight.

For women especially, it is critical that we develop a deeper relationship with the body. It is critical to learn to listen to

o you ever hear yourself or other women say, “I am too much in my head”? Do you have pain in your body or a nagging symptom that you would just love to heal for the very last time? Do any of these statements ring a bell:

• You want to access your creativity and your life purpose, but it feels elusive.

we must feel, express and release the layers of emotions and experiences that have been stored in our bodies,

holding us back from love, health, prosperity and the lives we deserve • You have tried everything, but the pain you’re feeling is still there. • When people say, “Be in your body,” you are not quite sure what they mean. • You can give to others but find it difficult to receive. If you resonate with any of these statements, you are ready for a deeper relationship with your body, a relationship that could literally change your life. Many women are adept at dealing with their minds—but how many of us really listen to our bodies? How many of us truly understand the phenomenal power, wisdom, guidance and healing potential that exist within our bodies, just waiting to be tapped into? 56

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the messages it is constantly giving. We must feel, express and release the layers of emotions and experiences that have been stored in our bodies, holding us back from love, health, prosperity and the lives we deserve. Often, the body’s messages can be subtle and quiet at first. However, these messages will become stronger and stronger if ignored or suppressed, until they become issues such as pain, disease, emotional distress, addictions or relationship challenges that can no longer be ignored. I see this all the time in my practice. Clients come in with pain or a nagging symptom like a herniated

disc, obesity or anxiety, and it just won’t go away despite the numerous treatments they’ve tried. In our work together, my clients and I usually uncover an emotion, trauma or judgment that they were not consciously aware of. Even if our mind is not aware of it, our body always registers it. Once these things are acknowledged and released from the body, amazing things begin to happen: Both physical and emotional conditions heal and transform. Energy and vitality are restored, and people reconnect with their spiritual selves. Your own body can become your greatest ally if you are willing to give it the time and space to share its healing wisdom. As Eckhart Tolle writes in The Power of NOW, “Do not turn your attention elsewhere in your search for the Truth, for it is nowhere else to be found but within your body.”

gradually learn to trust and act on its inherent intelligence. It takes courage and commitment, but the rewards are worth it. By embracing the information and wisdom that our bodies give us, we can truly shine and enjoy the life we were destined for...in harmony, prosperity and joy. Tarnie Fulloon, PT, MA, is the creator of Body Freedom. She is a body therapist, movement teacher, speaker, author and licensed physical therapist specializing in total body healing. She helps clients ignite the power of feminine energy for greater fulfillment and life balance. Visit BodyFreedom.com.

Start connecting with your body more deeply today. Take time to slow down, breathe and notice what sensations and feelings are present within you. As you connect with your body, you will

The Real Authentic You

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Feeding Your Feelings When We Eat to Avoid the Void by Ellie Goldman

or the past year-and-a-half, I have had the privilege of supporting my clients as they create change in their lives. I’ve encouraged them to take better care of their health through weight loss and by healing their spirits. I eagerly began my work intending to help as many people as possible, but little did

It was only after a painful divorce that I was able to let go of the heaviness, which was a physical manifestation of my emotional state. It was a shield against my fear of loss and a badge of dishonor for not truly knowing what would make me happy. I reached for food time and time again to stifle what I had to say, to stuff

I used. My drug of choice was food. Food is no less addictive than any other drug, but unlike with other drugs, people cannot exist without it. The very thing that sustains us can be abused until it hurts us if we grab for food to fill a void. This reaching for something to fill the emptiness—into the refrigerator, into

food is no less addictive than any other drug, but unlike with other drugs, people cannot exist without it I realize how much I would learn from them about progress, forgiveness and the power of intention. There was a time when I too struggled with my weight. To put it bluntly, I was fat. There is still such shame in my heart when I acknowledge that, even though it’s been five years since I dropped the weight. 58

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my stomach until it hurt because I wanted to feel something—anything—besides sadness, anger and guilt. Sometimes I used food so that I’d have something to look forward to and get excited about, then once I’d obtained my treat and was enjoying it, I’d feel joy. But, I’d only feel it for a brief and elusive moment.

the vending machine, into the freezer at 7-Eleven for the Ben & Jerry’s Chubby Hubby—means we are looking outside ourselves for solutions that can come only from within. Every day, we see and hear what size we should be or what celebrity we ought to look like, but true transformation can

Now, she looks at least ten years younger and seems to glow from the inside out. I marvel at her recommitment to herself time and again. When she senses her old habits creeping back in and knocking at her door like a long-lost party friend, she seeks my assistance in staying focused on her fitness goals.

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occur only from the inside out. I know this after witnessing my clients’ setbacks and successes over the years. Outside pressure can motivate us for a while because we long to fit in or to be praised by our friends, families and partners, but caring for ourselves long-term can happen only when we realize that our bodies demand respect to function optimally. It

L E R

It is never too late to begin transforming ourselves or setting achievable goals. The moment there is a setback, we need only to forgive ourselves and get right back on track—this is how long-term success is achieved. I have witnessed this truth over and over again and have found it to be the most healing truth revealed during my own journey.

am I really hungry, or am I angry, lonely and sad? is only when we begin to reach inward that we will see what is really driving our behavior. There are reasons for the weight we carry and seem unable to shed. Often, when a client begins shedding weight, she has already started to transform other areas of her life—even before she has come to me. Like a butterfly emerging from a chrysalis, she leaves the past behind. One woman with whom I worked declared that she wanted to become more mindful of what she put into her body. She lost forty pounds by developing a yoga practice and by becoming aware of what she consumed on a daily basis.

Weight management, like any physical practice, requires continuous maintenance. Many people believe they’ll reach the finish line of the race once their bodies transform, but it is just as important to maintain a schedule of regular exercise along with healthy eating habits as it is to breathe or sleep. This is a fact that we can accept with grace or struggle against. There is no secret pill, no magic wand. It requires belief in yourself and the ability to examine your thought process by asking yourself, “What am I using this for? What are my highest goals? What would I like to try in my life that I have been too afraid of? Am I really hungry, or am I angry, lonely and sad?”

Transformation occurs early on for some people, while others need to hit a lower emotional bottom before they want to change. When a person is ready to live well and honor their spirit, they are no longer willing to carry more than their share. Ellie Goldman is a freelance writer, actress and wellness consultant living in Los Angeles. For more information on her services, please contact her at GoldmanER@aol.com.

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Get Healthy: Eat Bacteria How Probiotic Foods Boost Immunity An Interview With Carly Balsz, RN By Jara Fairchild

oday, more people are taking responsibility for their own healing. Instead of relying upon conventional care that seems to focus on medicating symptoms rather than discovering the root causes of illness, people are seeking advice from practitioners with a range of philosophies. They are also turning to more natural remedies, such as rediscovering how to “let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food,” as suggested long ago by Hippocrates, the father of modern medicine.

One of today’s most overlooked ailments is candidiasis, a fungal infection most commonly caused by Candida albicans that can develop almost anywhere in the body, including the skin, oral cavity, groin, gastrointestinal tract and mucous membranes. Risk factors include the use of broad-spectrum antibiotics or oral contraceptives, pregnancy, immunity-compromising conditions and ingestion of diets high in sugars. Candidiasis develops when the body is in a weakened state due to a poor diet, an unhealthy lifestyle or a weakened immune system. Our bodies become acidic, friendly bacteria are

imbalance must be eliminated from the diet— otherwise, the yeast infection will persist. New solutions proving to be effective include colonics, intestinal cleanses, special diets, energy work and probiotics. Some of the most potent probiotics can be obtained through an ancient method of fermenting plant-source foods. Carly Balsz is working on just that! Jara Fairchild: Carly, your mission is to help people develop balanced inner ecosystems by supporting them to create healthy digestion. How did you get started on this journey? Carly Balsz: My journey began as an RN, but I wasn’t healthy. My problem was a severe Candida infection that was weakening my immune system. I found the body ecology diet (BED) by Donna Gates, which emphasizes that we all have unique dietary needs depending on the state of our inner ecosystems. For example, we may all agree that an organic, whole-foods diet is healthy, but wheat, dairy or even natural sugars may not benefit you. I was on a raw-food diet, but the dates and fruits that I was eating were making me sick! So, not

some practitioners believe that the colon’s environment must be rebalanced by

reintroducing friendly bacteria

outnumbered by unfriendly microorganisms and our inner ecosystems become imbalanced. When this happens, symptoms occur such as skin rashes, food allergies, chronic constipation, chronic vaginal yeast infections, PMS, recurring headaches, mental fuzziness, fatigue, depression, muscle aches, joint pain and more. In people with weakened immune systems, such as those who battle AIDS and cancer, Candida that leaks into the bloodstream through the intestinal wall can (and often does) become an actual cause of death. Although a number of pills and creams are prescribed for this infection, some practitioners believe that the colon’s environment, the gut flora, must be rebalanced by reintroducing “friendly” bacteria. Additionally, foods that perpetuate this

only did I eliminate certain foods, I also began fermenting vegetables and the water from young Thai coconuts. These are the probiotic foods suggested by the BED to replenish the colon with friendly bacteria. This helped to strengthen my immune system. Also, coconut-water kefir and the raw, cultured vegetables helped curb my intense sugar cravings, a common symptom that seems insurmountable to candidiasis sufferers. J: Did you sense that there were others out there suffering from candidiasis, and did you set out to help them too? C: First, I was inspired by colon hydrotherapy because it was the first thing I did that my body responded to. None of the antifungal medications prescribed by my doctor helped. At the time, I

was working at UCLA Medical Center and was responsible for administering antibiotics, the very thing that may have contributed to my condition. You see, antibiotics kill both the harmful and the beneficial bacteria. I also remembered that pharmacies in the mid-’90s— overnight, it seemed—added sections dedicated to vaginal suppositories to treat yeast infections. I then realized I

and the kefir is hydrating, and both are rich sources of enzymes, vitamins and minerals. J: Is it easy to make the veggies and kefir at home? The RAY recommends: Mix together a starter culture or some probiotic powder with one quarter-cup warm water and

he’s off the medications and he’s symptom free.

she attributes this to the diet and the probiotic foods wasn’t alone in suffering from a systemic fungal infection, but rather it had reached epidemic proportions. That’s when I quit my job. Today, I have so many success stories. For a year, I’ve worked with an eighteenyear-old young man with Crohn’s disease who was on steroids. The other day, his mother said he’s off the medications and he’s symptom-free. She attributes this to the diet and the probiotic foods. J: Are all “probiotic foods” created equal? Are the new yogurts with probiotics that are on the market effective? C: They are not created equal. Despite the large-budget ad campaigns that almost make yogurt a convincing choice as a probiotic, many yogurts are not effective. First, they are counterintuitive to healing because they add sugar. Also, for people with digestive issues, dairy tends to irritate the gut lining or cause allergic reactions. Often, the microflora from yogurt aren’t strong enough to survive harsh stomach acid, so they don’t get into the gut to colonize. Cultured foods, which are permitted by all diets including vegan, raw and macrobiotic, are made with a starter culture that introduces a hearty strain of beneficial bacteria. One of the bacteria that may be used is L. Plantarum, and it is resistant to antibiotics. The veggies and kefir work quickly because they are alkaline-forming foods. Microbes love acidic environments, because then they have a lot to feast on. So, the goal is to balance the body’s pH. These foods are also fibrous, for stronger peristalsis,

one tablespoon of maple syrup. Let this sit for twenty mintues to activate. Then, shred your favorite vegetables (we love to include garlic) and pack them into a glass jar. For larger jars, make more of the mixture. Pour the mixture over your vegetables, seal the lid and put it in a warm, dark place for two days to one week. After opening, keep the jar refrigerated for up to eight months. We add these tangy vegetables to omelettes and quesadillas made with yogurt cheese! Jara Fairchild is the founder of Rock Rose Media Group, a public relations practice based in Los Angeles that promotes entertainment projects, wellness resources and green lifestyles. Her personal transformation began twelve years ago, after she was diagnosed with candidiasis. To learn more, please visit RockRoseMediaGroup.com. Carly Balsz, RN, is a certified colon hydrotherapist and the founder of Healing Movement in Santa Monica, which helps people build their immunity by addressing digestive issues. Carly offers a line of probiotic food, food preparation classes and dietary counseling as a body ecology coach and certified nutritional therapy practitioner. Learn more at HealingMovement.net.

for a Vaginal Yeast Infection Douche

• Mix two tablespoons of raw apple cider vinegar with three cups of lukewarm water. Use this to douche a few times a day and especially after intercourse. • Use coconut-water kefir to recolonize the vagina with beneficial bacteria. • Peel several cloves of garlic and place in a pot with one quart of water. Bring to a boil for five minutes. Let the water cool to body temperature, then use the water as a douche.

Suppositories • Add a few drops of tea-tree oil, which has natural antifungal properties, to water. Pour onto a tampon, insert into the vagina and leave in for a couple of hours. Do this morning and night. • Other vaginal probiotic suppositories can be found at health food stores or can be ordered online.

Diet and Lifestyle Changes • Avoid sugar, processed carbohydrates (like cake, muffins and pastries), caffeine and alcohol. • When possible, avoid medications like birth control pills, antibiotics and steroids. • Make lifestyle choices that support the immune system, like getting enough rest, eating a healthy diet, exercising regularly and drinking plenty of water.

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Know Thyself Tools for a Balanced Life By Page Turner

f you find yourself worrying about the future, you have more company now than ever. With global unemployment and depression rates breaking records and still on the rise, it seems many of us are worried about the future. Perhaps it’s time to look to the past for wisdom on how to survive in the present.

The art and science of yoga is dedicated to creating union and a sense of peace among mind, body and spirit. The principles laid forth in the ancient text of yoga sutras are guidelines for finding equanimity and balance within ourselves and, in turn, the world...something we could all use a dose of in this anxietyridden world. When you review these texts, you will see a few important ethical precepts emerge with relevance. Santosa is contentment. It is finding satisfaction and peace with the things and circumstances you are given in this life. When we accept that life has a process for growth that does not always include material gain, we learn to be at peace within, even while experiencing the challenges that come with this existence. In a yoga practice, this often manifests itself as sinking deeper into a difficult posture, finding your breath and brightening up your eyes. It’s not about pushing yourself to the point of pain and suffering. Just the opposite, it’s learning to find your inner strength when outer challenges arise. Carrying this over to our everyday lives, finding our breath, brightening our eyes and being grateful in the face of difficulty 2009 TheRAYmagazine.com | TheRAYmagazine.com 62 62v19 v19 2009

can help us to cultivate compassion and contentment for ourselves and for others. Simply accepting that there is a purpose for everything and that every challenge is an opportunity for growth and learning brings us to the awareness that experience is our greatest wealth. Another concept is Aparigara, which is moderation or taking only what is necessary. Letting go of attachment to “stuff ” is a lesson that many of us are being forced to learn. When we are unwilling, this can be very painful. Letting go of the desire to hoard and acquire wealth can be a beautiful and cleansing process, though, one that many great masters have adopted as a prerequisite to even greater spiritual gain. In yoga, this often means backing off from some of the more advanced postures when we haven’t built the strength to master them. Releasing the competitive mindset of being more accomplished than the next person really means accepting and taking pleasure in our own true natures. Perhaps the pursuit of material wealth has separated us from some of the most fundamental pursuits that give meaning to life. Do we feel a lack of abundance because we don’t have enough of the latest toys of mass distraction? Perhaps this quest for more has led us to a state of nimiety, of excess, instead of true abundance of wisdom and Svadhyaya— getting still, going within and knowing ourselves. When we take a good look at what we have, it is easy to see that we already have everything we need.

One-Minute Yogi When life happens, happen back! Use the following techniques, which take just a minute of your time to find balance and reconnect with your flow. To calm yourself down in a tense situation, hold your thumb or forefinger over your right nostril and take long, slow, deep breaths through your left nostril only. This kicks in your parasympathetic nervous system, calming your mind and your nerves. If you feel the heat of pressure, drink a full eight ounces of water immediately. This will cool your nerves and fuel your system. Yes, it’s that easy! Catch yourself breathing! When you’re sitting at a stoplight or checking your e-mail, wake up to the fact that you are breathing—and therefore alive! Say “thank you” for that breath. To correct imbalances and activate the pineal gland, close your eyes and press your thumbs into your temples, or have someone else do this for you. Breathe long and deep for a minute... or more if you like.

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Getting More by Giving Up Going Green Without Sacrifice By Melissa Mansfield

ver since this weekend, I’ve been riding a high that came from cleaning my apartment.

On Saturday, my husband and I vacuumed, dusted and mopped until our apartment sparkled. The next day, I decided to keep the momentum going by doing some serious reorganizing and decluttering of what is known as our closet room. This room is part clothes closet, part pantry, part random storage area. Dancing to the tunes of ABBA Gold, I managed to put away what we still wanted and needed while filtering out what we didn’t. The result? I could see the floor again.

Realistically, if we want to live on a sustainable, prosperous and thriving planet, we do have to give up some things. Fortunately, what we give up to go green are usually things we can do without. We gain so much in the process. I’ve given up the stress and pollution that traffic causes by walking and biking

Please take advantage of these simplifying tips and resources: • Spring-clean every season. Sort out clothes, books and appliances that you don’t use anymore and donate them to Goodwill or another charity that you support. Participate in or host a clothing swap.

I topped off the weekend with a trip to Goodwill, where I donated two huge boxes of assorted housewares, books, clothing and shoes. The donations are a win-winwin: I get rid of my mess and take a tax deduction if I choose, Goodwill shoppers turn my trash into their treasures on the cheap and the store’s revenue goes to vital job-training services in our communities. Plus, a whole lot of things don’t get buried in a landfill where an abundance of waste already exists. With less stuff, I felt better than ever before. I realized that this feeling, for me, is the essence of green living. Going green is often couched in terms of sacrifice. Or, more accurately, opponents characterize it as too much effort and too much to give up, while many advocates try to convince everyone that we can be green and still have everything—all the convenience, style and fun without giving up anything.

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Getting back to basics means letting go of all this stuff we’ve been convinced we need. This will help us to create a more sustainable world. By changing our habits, conserving and bringing environmental and social consciousness to our decisions, we can create communities that are healthy, vital and harmonious. And that doesn’t seem like much of a sacrifice.

• Cook simple meals at home using local, seasonal produce. Find a farmers market near you at LocalHarvest.org. • Take time away from technology. Try at least one day per week to disconnect from your laptop, TV and cell phone. • Create less landfill clutter by cutting back on disposable containers. Bring your own bags for shopping and containers for restaurant leftovers. Fill to-go mugs with coffee or tea and cook at home instead of getting takeout. more than I drive. I’ve given up cheap, processed foods to enjoy healthy, organic meals. I’ve created meaning and purpose in my life by supporting triple-bottomline companies—those that value people, planet and profit—and worthy nonprofit organizations. Going green has made my life richer and fuller. So many aspects of our modern society that seem convenient, easy and necessary are unsustainable and force us to make the biggest sacrifices of all: clean air, water and land, as well as thriving ecosystems.

Gently and consistently remind yourself of the people and passions in your life that give you the greatest sense of pleasure and purpose, and focus your energy on them. Melissa Mansfield is a green-living expert and conscious media producer based in the San Francisco Bay area. She cofounded Green Gorilla Media to share positive and inspiring stories about people leading innovative efforts to transform our world. Visit GreenGorillaMedia.com and MelissaMansfield.com.

Organize Your Way to Abundance According to The New York Times, people spend an average of one hour each day looking for something that they know they have but cannot find. Think that’s bad? Get this: The Times also reports that an average of 15% of people’s disposable income is spent buying things that they already have. “Time is money,” the saying goes—and organization can save you both! Here are three easy steps to get you started: 1. Start organizing your space, one room at a time, by finding new homes for everything that you own. Put like with like. That means putting all of your vitamins together, not scattering them throughout the house. At your office, put all of your staples together so that you know what you have and when to buy more. And, always put things back into their homes. 2. Use a labeler. 3. File your documents, and colorcode your outer (hanging) and inner (file) folders. This way, when you’re looking for that folder with your bills, you’ll be able to find it easily on your desk, because you’ll know that green folders are for finances. You’ll also be able to put it back just as easily.

—Maria Parkinson, Owner Back on Track Organizing BackonTrackOrganizing.com

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Christy Wilhelmi’s

If you have never grown anything, you may be Starting a Vegetable Garden

asking yourself, “What’s all the fuss about growing your own food?” Growing your own food is actually quite easy and fun. There is only one way to experience the thrilling satisfaction that comes with it, so try your hand at being a green thumb with these helpful tips: Start small. Dedicate a small area of your yard or patio to begin a garden. When you feel confident with your new skills, expand to a larger area. You can even grow vegetables in containers if you want. Compost is your friend. Add compost to your soil to help increase its nutrient levels before planting. Vegetables require more nutrients than houseplants, so make sure you start with good soil. Start easy. Some veggies grow faster and more easily than others. Start with: • Lettuces (They need very little space and last all season if you harvest the outside leaves.) • Radishes (The instant-gratification vegetable!) • Beets (I loathe beets, but I grow them because they have virtually no pests or diseases. Plus, they make me feel like a successful gardener even when nothing else grows.) Be childlike. Enjoy the excitement of watching seeds sprout and grow. Cut yourself some slack if something dies the first—or second—time around. Have a party to celebrate your first homegrown salad! Warning: Vegetable gardening can become addictive and has been known to cause high levels of happiness and joy for millions of people each spring. Christy Wilhelmi is founder of Gardenerd.com, the ultimate resource for garden nerds, and gardens almost entirely with heirloom vegetables. A board member of the Ocean View Farms Organic Community Garden in Mar Vista, Christy also teaches organic gardening classes and offers hands-on garden consulting and food garden design.

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ext year will mark my fortieth anniversary of being a quote-unquote environmentalist, and I couldn’t be happier about the “green” bandwagon that is rolling through Hollywood and the rest of the country these days. It hasn’t always been so easy being green; in fact, there were times back in the 1990s when I think my lifestyle was considered so strange and extreme that it may have even cost me acting work. But today, thanks to public consensus on things like the science of global climate change and the economic and national security issues surrounding foreign oil, I am seeing a fundamental shift in human behavior that is more than a green lifestyle fad. And, this shift is not only about what people “believe” in regard to our environmental future, but it is also moving people to take real action in living a more sustainable lifestyle.

I am so hopeful about this convergence of belief and behavior. People in this country may or may not believe that we share complete responsibility for global climate change—but we all are interested in saving money and making our lives easier. We want to lower our energy bills, reduce our gasoline consumption, eat more healthily—these things are important to all of us. And, this economic motivation extends not only to individuals but to corporate America. Thirty years ago, businessmen and politicians and economists in California claimed we would destroy the economy by forcing automakers to reduce emissions and forcing power companies to clean up their plant emissions. Instead, Detroit and the world made cleaner cars that use only unleaded fuel and catalytic converters. The power companies cleaned up their dirty plants and moved to cleaner fuels like natural gas. The air quality in California improved markedly, and the economy thrived. Today, we have four times as many cars in Los Angeles, yet we have half the air pollution. We all deserve a medal for bringing about such an astonishing turnaround! This is why I believe that the “challenges” we face now are soluble. Several years ago, my wife Rachelle and I were approached by some friends about doing a reality show about our life together. As many of you know from watching our show, Living With Ed is about the compromises Rachelle and I make between the sustainable lifestyle choices I have made throughout the years and the more aesthetic priorities that my wife supports. Through our humorous, modern-day–Green Acres adventures, we’ve been able to show a lot of people how to pursue a more eco-friendly lifestyle. We’ve found that people are hungry for information on subjects ranging from energy conservation and transportation alternatives to health and wellness issues. As a result, we followed up the first TV

with Ed & Rachelle episodes with the book Living Like Ed: A Guide to the Eco-Friendly Life. This gave us the chance to provide more detail into our environmentally friendly lifestyle, with lots of tips and tricks learned over the first thirty-eight years of my sustainable journey. This year, I’ve decided to put out a second book: Ed Begley, Jr.’s, Guide to Sustainable Living. The purpose of this new book is to give people more of a road map for approaching a long-term sustainable life strategy. I wanted people to focus on the right things and in the right order. So, for this first contribution to The RAY, Rachelle and I want to encourage people to start first with the low-hanging fruit that is conservation. Solar panels are great, but they are very expensive, and what good do they do you if your house is energy-inefficient and poorly insulated? That would be like going out in the rain with an umbrella filled with holes! Start first with conservation. Have a home energy audit, and tighten

up your home’s insulation, windows, doors and ducting. Put in energyefficient lightbulbs, and program your thermostat. Recycle, compost, homegarden and support your local farmers market. Walk or ride a bike—weather and fitness permitting—and take public transportation. Use biodegradable soaps, detergents and cleaning products. These are the places to start: Put money back into your pocket, and live a healthy and sustainable life. Ed Begley, Jr., is an actor and longtime environmentalist. He co-stars on the reality TV series Living With Ed on Planet Green with his wife Rachelle Carson-Begley. His new book, Ed Begley, Jr.’s, Guide to Sustainable Living, hits bookstores September 8th. Ed continues to work with environmental organizations such as the Coalition for Clean Air, the Environmental Media Association and the Walden Woods Project. Rachelle is an actress and businesswoman who also works with a number of health, children’s and women’s charities.

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Plundering the Earth for Profit? Innovation Can Fuel the Green Economy By Tommy Rosen

n The Last Hours of Ancient Sunlight, Thom Hartmann’s seminal book about the end of fossil fuel, the author points out that we started using oil only one hundred and fifty years ago. Yet, environmentally speaking, the majority of our problems come from oil and oil-based derivatives and products. It is astounding that it has taken only one hundred and fifty years to make this big a mess! If I could wave a magic wand and make one thing happen in the world, I would create a unified effort to build a renewable energy infrastructure and end the century-anda-half-long period of suffering that has resulted from our global oil addiction.

In June 2008 in Los Angeles, I met with the West Coast representatives of one of the largest automakers in the world asking them to sponsor the Eco Gift Festival and display their hybrid vehicles. I co-founded the Festival with my wife, Kia Miller, to produce a large-scale eco-conscious gift show to provide people with an uplifting experience and a solution to the difficult emotions, inconveniences and terrible 68

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waste associated with the holidays and holiday shopping. I knew the Festival had a lot to offer any company that wanted to get the attention of people who have environmental sustainability in the forefront of their minds. One of the auto executives suggested that it would make sense to display their whole fleet, rather than just hybrid vehicles, and I explained that that would not be in line with our event’s mission and would not be well received by our audience. To really cover ground with this sponsorship, I told that automaker, would mean that we would need to communicate the progress they were making in addressing environmental concerns through the development of more efficient hybrid cars. The executive responded that their company “simply doesn’t make money selling hybrid vehicles.” In an October 2008 Wall Street Journal essay, “How Detroit Drove Into a Ditch,” Paul Ingrassia explained, “Detroit remains saddled with a cost structure that prevents making profits on any vehicles besides

gas-guzzling trucks and SUVs. That was fine during the SUV boom, just as owning Enron stock was terrific until that infamous company crashed. But then, Enron stockholders who hadn’t diversified their portfolios were wiped out. Now, Detroit lacks a diversified source of profits.” Stuck grasping an old way of thinking and an older way of doing business, companies like this are not able to see the solutions to the huge and mounting problems we face today. Instead, they are still contributing to these problems, and the government is subsidizing their activities. Perhaps most important, these automakers are squandering an exceptional opportunity to take the lead, to innovate and create solutions that could make them even more profitable than they were at their peak. Of course, holding on to old-school modalities that allow companies to profit while harming people and the environment is not limited to this industry. This failure to innovate is, in my opinion, the single most destructive thing on the planet.

Putting aside our dependence on fossil fuels will take a monumental shift in consciousness. An example of this kind of shift comes from Ray Anderson, CEO of InterfaceFLOR, the largest carpet manufacturer in the world. He turned his company around when he realized that it was plundering the earth and that he could not live with that. InterfaceFLOR strives to make “environmental advances in all areas of business—people, process, product, place and profits.” The company’s goal is to achieve “Mission Zero” by 2020. The company describes its approach as follows: Mission Zero means taking the time to understand the natural world and all of its species and to understand how everything we do, take, make and waste affects nature’s balance and, ultimately, our children and the children of all species. From this knowledge, we can build processes throughout our business that mimic nature and support the environment. Processes that: •Sustain the environment by taking nothing from the earth that we cannot easily and rapidly replace. • Sustain society by educating our employees and associates on our impact on the environment and helping them create solutions that reduce our footprint. • Sustain our economic health by creating products and solutions that are not only environmentally friendly but profitable as well. This is a company that continuously wins awards for its stewardship and the extraordinary measures it takes to reduce and manage its own waste stream. How is that for a shift in consciousness? Now, imagine the difference that could be made if every CEO of every corporation shared motivations similar to Mr. Anderson’s. I want to suggest that this is within our grasp now. If our leaders, from President Obama to city managers, direct their attention to creating a renewable energy infrastructure in the United States, not only will we drastically improve our environmental situation, but we will also put people back to work by the millions. In addition, these same individuals and companies who once feared change will reap enormous

benefit, financial and otherwise, by having seized the opportunity to lead the way. In The Green Collar Economy, Van Jones writes, “The transition from our reliance on fossil fuels to clean and renewable energy is the linchpin of the green economy. If done correctly, it will bring our carbon emissions down to a manageable level. It will free us from foreign oil and its national security risks... it will revitalize our economy and create millions of green-collar jobs.” We are now seeing real-world examples of what Mr. Jones prophesied in his book: • The seven-hundred-eighty-sevenbillion-dollar economic package that passed in February is set to invest more than seventy-nine billion dollars into renewable energy, energy efficiency and green transportation. • Michigan started a two-billiondollar job creation fund using tobacco settlement money to target four economic sectors, one being alternative energy. • Michigan, which has lost more than one hundred and fifty thousand automotive jobs over the past eight years, began using community colleges to retrain the unemployed and underemployed for green jobs. Thankfully, we are now beginning to feel the crunch that will be necessary to bring about real change. It is unfortunate that this has to come through our suffering, but it is better that it come that way than not come at all. On a personal level, yoga, meditation, journaling, working out, eating a proper diet and resting well have never seemed more important than they do now. As environmentally concerned people, we must not forget to practice the science of fun too! We must laugh and enjoy this life every day, and we must endeavor to be forklifts to anyone who needs us. Tommy Rosen is founder of the Eco Gift Festival, the world’s largest holiday gift show for eco-conscious people, which addresses the inconveniences associated with the holidays. Tommy is also a yoga teacher and an organic gardener who lives with his wife, Kia, in Venice, California. The Real Authentic You

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Music and a Mission The Evolution of Men Interview By Molly Murchison

t was an early evening in Hollywood, and the newly formed a cappella group Evolution was getting in one last rehearsal before taking the stage at what would be their second performance as a six-man vocal rock band. Nerves were kicking in and excitement had given way to stage fright.

A car turned the corner onto the street where these six men sang, six men using only their own voices as instruments. The car slowed down and then stopped. The men continued singing as the group inside the car killed the ignition and sat there listening. When the song ended, the folks in the car waved, gave some encouraging praise, turned the car back on and then left just as quickly as they had rolled up. With only minutes left before they were up, the group felt their preshow jitters lift because they had connected with complete strangers through their music.

there are no walls, nothing to hide behind…

it’s just you, stripped, out there

A year later, Evolution continues to tour throughout Southern California. While they’ve dealt with the ups and downs that any singing group can expect, especially one based in Los Angeles, its memories like that night on the street corner that remind them how finding a perfect melody can unite, heal, bring joy to and create transcendence for those who sing and those who simply sing along. 70

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I recently had the opportunity to sit down with Evolution and ask the members about the band and the movement behind the band. Tenor Rolland Lopez explained that, when Evolution sings, “There are no agendas, no personas, no polite conversations, no social norms, no nine-to-fives, no awkward silences, no barriers.”

All of Evolution’s members are passionate about the group, and it seems that the singing and the camaraderie actually invigorate them, even when they’re struggling to get work or dealing with some other setback. Baritone Michael Maury explains it this way: “Evolution gives me drive. They give me purpose! This group gives me love and

support...and hope! When issues come up within the group—and, like in any band, they come up!—we discuss them from a loving place, with a supportive tone. We resolve them like enlightened souls searching for the greater lesson.” As I listened to the members of Evolution discuss their feelings about the group, a consistent theme came up: synergy. For lead tenor Jamie Paisley, who was

gives back. To create that perfect blend between us, personally and professionally, we’re required to move past our personal issues and ourselves. This really makes each of us totally vulnerable, and being vulnerable can be difficult around a bunch of other men.” Rono added, “I cannot think of another form of expression that really shows your soul. When you sing, there are no

creative expression to better themselves. I’m honored to be a part of it.” Ken White, the group’s bass, spoke up last. He’s a tall guy with an open face that shows what he’s thinking before the words are even out of his mouth. “What could be better than going into business with five of your best friends?” he asked me. “Not just your regular chum-chum buddies but men who really understand what it means

it’s so rare that you find six men working together

through creative expression to better themselves a young child in the ’80s, the word “synergy” conjures images of the cartoon Jem and the Holograms, but Evolution’s real synergy is a sense of the miraculous accomplishment that comes with creating true harmony. When I asked him about this idea of synergy, Paisley stated, “To me, it’s about what you feel when you’re singing.” Paisley then thought for a moment and began again. “Scratch that—it’s what’s felt when you’re singing and you suddenly realize everything is locked in. With a cappella, it takes so many elements working toward a common goal to get that final product just the way it’s supposed to be.” He continued, “There are so many talents here, a variety of goals and an audience that one hopes is receptive to this atypical musical product. It can be tough, and it often is, but when it all jells, there’s a welling of emotion felt from that oneness. That’s synergy.” It made sense to me. I looked around at the other members of the group and could see on their faces that Paisley had perfectly defined this word for them too.

walls, nothing to hide behind…it’s just you, stripped, out there. With the other members of Evolution, however, you have this amazing sense that you’re not alone.” Vocal percussionist Joshua Silverstein echoes the idea that support and trust are key to Evolution’s success. “As an individual, I have constantly reflected on my personal growth. Everyone and everything changes and becomes something greater, and it’s so rare that you find six men working together through

to be there for someone and support him in all aspects of his life.” I thought for a moment about what Ken said or, rather, what he asked. What could be better? Not much, I answered. I thanked each member for his time—and as I left, I suddenly felt reenergized in my own journey toward personal evolution. Visit EvolutionSings.com for show inquiries.

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I expected a typical line from the lanky, one-name tenor Rono, who has piercing blue eyes and a sharp, fashionable style. But, like everything else about that day, Rono’s insight surprised me and challenged my own notions about pretense.

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“Evolution, like any band, can be a struggle at times,” Rono said. “It requires a real sense of team. You have to give and give and then give some more, but giving

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The Power of Voice Learning to Go With the Flow By Dot Todman

Our vocal freedom is Initially, it was like pulling teeth because of his refusal to accept his musical gift and directly connected to what allow it to manifest. we believe we can receive. DISCOVERING OUR CREATIVE POWER A few years ago, I had a student, whom we’ll call John, who was strongly convinced that it would take a lot of work for him to sing freely and powerfully. Every time John sang, even though he had sufficiently warmed up and was ready, his mind would turn to thoughts like, “This is going to be hard!” As a result, his neck tensed up along with the muscles in his larynx! His voice squelched out a choppy and shaky sound, even though he had no physical or neuromuscular damage. That blocked, tired and unfulfilled vibration was the consequence of John’s long-held belief that great singing had to be hard. How often do we do something similar? When a great opportunity comes our way that we label “too good to be true,” we turn our own energy against ourselves. Proceeding with caution, we question and hesitate, believing, “It’s got to be harder than that.” The message we send out to the world is, “I am hesitant to receive this gift!” To our own detriment, we literally push the opportunity away, and it seems to slip out of our hands. At first, the only way I could get John to sing freely was to trick him into letting go when he wasn’t “trying” to sing. Through some individualized vocal exercises, I helped him tap into the part of his brain that got him into the present moment. 72

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John had the same struggle in everyday life. He thought that achieving great things in life should be hard. Therefore, he put an abundance of effort into every “important” thing he did. As a result, he struggled through much of his life and felt “blocked, tired and unfulfilled.” Sound familiar? He carried the same vibration in his voice! PRACTICE, PATIENCE, POSSIBILITY, PRESENCE After I worked with John and gave him the right kind of vocal tools, he began to see that he had the ability to sing freely, but it was inconsistent. He continued to practice. Over time, he learned that he could sing easily the more he let go and let his musical intelligence kick in. The more John became present with his singing, rather than anticipating anything negative, the easier he found it to allow his true voice to emerge. As John realized that singing was easier than he thought, he approached his voice with more love and trust. This shift in perspective began to flow into his daily life as well. Now John experiences more joy, flexibility and freedom as a singer and is much happier in life. He has chosen to believe, “It doesn’t have to be that hard!” I’ve realized that the rules people create in singing are usually the same ones they create in life. If you’re really hard on yourself as a singer and expect perfection

in every note, you probably expect that from yourself and from others. Like many of my students, John showed me how our belief system not only informs how we approach our lives but the way we express our voices as well. We can choose to let go and surrender to the natural flow, or we can proceed with fear and create blocks for ourselves. OUR THOUGHTS CREATE OUR ENERGY, AND OUR ENERGY CREATES OUR SOUND As we move forward this year, may we courageously open to the possibility that we were made to do whatever we can conceive and that our dreams are literally at our fingertips! Through practice and patience, we can develop the presence that will dissolve our mental blocks and create vocal empowerment for us. When our voices are powerful, we too can become empowered. Creative empowerment statement: “I am open to creating ease, wisdom, grace and power in my vocal expression, and as I walk through life, I choose to receive life’s gifts as they freely flow to me.” Dot Todman is a vocal empowerment coach and has worked as a professional singer for more than twenty years. Her genuine interest in people, holistic approach to singing and natural intuitive ability have led her to achieve great success as a cutting-edge vocal expert. Dot enjoys teaching private voice lessons and workshops in and around Los Angeles.Visit DotsVoiceStudios.com.

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The LongAwaited Change An Intergenerational Victory

by John Delloro

ith the election of Barack Obama as President, we witnessed the dawning of a new era. I am struck by what this election means for my daughter and for her generation as well as for the generations of people before us.

years of her life witnessing our country’s cycles of despair and hope. Through her story, Obama highlighted the events during which this nation rose to meet the challenge of creating a better world. He noted that she cast her vote in this election because, “After one hundred and six years in America, through the best of times and the darkest of hours, she knows how America can change.”

On Election Day, my seven-yearold daughter helped me canvas neighborhoods during Get Out The Vote (GOTV) activities. She took care to cross out the names of people on our list who’d already voted, and she left door-hangers at each empty house as we walked doorto-door, turning out the vote. When I was about her age, Ronald Reagan had just been elected President, ushering in a new era of politics that has finally hit a beachhead after thirty-plus years. At

The story of union organizer and Pilipina Grace Regullano came immediately to my mind. Unlike Anne, Grace, who is in her twenties, had grown cynical and suspicious about elected officials and the political process. The enthusiasm of the Obama campaign did not drive her to travel to New Mexico to walk precincts. Instead, it was her fear of a McCain-Palin administration. So, when she landed in New Mexico, she did not immediately leap into the “Yes, We Can” chanting frenzy.

For Grace, it wasn’t about Obama but about the break in history he represented, especially to Ms. Irma, who had waited her whole life for a moment like that. Ms. Irma, Anne and Grace saw in the Obama victory that those of us who have ever been alone, excluded or isolated truly do have a home here. There is hope. As Obama observed, “I will never forget who this victory truly belongs to: It belongs to you.... So, let us summon a new spirit of patriotism, of service and responsibility where each of us resolves to pitch in and work harder and look after not only ourselves but each other.” As I lifted my daughter, who fell asleep from a day of knocking on doors, I started to cry. Not just because of Obama’s victory but because of the possibility that when she is older she will look back in pride on how she helped create change in America,

she spent the last 106 years of her life

witnessing our country’s cycles of despair and hope her age, I had no sense of the meaning of Reagan’s ascent, and like any father, I want her experience to be deeper than my own.

As Obama’s victory came into view, she witnessed a transformative moment. Grace describes that day:

and she will know that she can help do it again and again.

Yet, I did not fully grasp the meaning of the day until the eve of the election, when Obama spoke of Anne Nixon Cooper in his victory speech.

“The other people helping with GOTV activities that day turned toward Ms. Irma, who had been sitting quietly in the back, watching the results. She’s a retired black union member who was helping to campaign in New Mexico too. Somebody shouted, ‘Ms. Irma’s been waiting for this her whole life!’ And then, the whole room started singing the gospel song ‘A Change Is Gonna Come’ to Ms. Irma. When I saw the tears streaming silently down Ms. Irma’s face, I also cried.”

John Delloro is the author of American Prayer: Online Meditations on Asian America, Obama, and Self. He is the executive director of the Dolores Huerta Labor Institute, and he currently sits on the legal advisory board of the Koreatown Immigrant Workers Alliance (KIWA) and the board of directors of the Pilipino Workers Center of Southern California (PWC), which he co-founded.

Anne Nixon Cooper is an elderly AfricanAmerican woman who was born when the memory of slavery remained fresh to her parents and when her right to vote would have been denied because of not only her gender but also the color of her skin. She spent the last one hundred and six 74

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Broken Beauty The Manipulation of Women By Laura Bryannan

v19 2009 | TheRAYmagazine.com

hy is it that so many women feel that they just don’t measure up when it comes to their looks? Naomi Wolf ’s book The Beauty Myth: How Images of Beauty Are Used Against Women provides some answers. The author has provided us with a thoughtful and wellresearched treatise on the feminine experience. The issue she highlights is how our culture cultivates the stereotypes of women as sex objects and men as success objects—to the detriment of all of us.

“A century ago, normal female activity, especially the kind that would lead women into power, was classified as ugly and sick. If a woman read too much, her uterus would ‘atrophy.’ If she kept on reading, her reproductive system would collapse and, according to the medical commentary of the day, ‘we should have before us a repulsive and useless hybrid....’ Victorians protested women’s higher education by fervidly imagining the damage it would do to their reproductive organs.”

Wolf ’s basic thesis regarding women states that there is a relationship between female liberation and female beauty. She writes, “The more legal and material hindrances women have broken through, the more strictly and heavily and cruelly images of female beauty have come to weigh upon us.”

Women were seen as walking wombs—as breeders—and anything they did to expand their usefulness in the world was attacked by mainstream society. That status quo did not allow for women to offer society something more than the children they bore. If a woman was interested in science, she was told that something was out of balance with her sexuality.

Wolf ’s research shows that there is a cultural backlash against feminism that uses images of female beauty to keep women “in their place.” How many folks have succumbed to the idea of the ugly feminist activist who is only a feminist because she’s too undesirable to get a man? That popular concept first showed up on the scene to describe suffragettes lobbying for the vote. Wolf shows that throughout the years there have been forces in culture that attempt to punish women who seek more control over their lives and their environment. The beauty myth is the latest in a long line of lies concerning the rules of feminine attributes and behavior. It has created a standard of femininity that is impossible to attain, and women are reacting with increasingly obsessive behavior in their attempts to measure up. Wolf traces the historical path of these lies:

However, the advent of the two world wars changed the rules. It became important to society for women to leave their homes to work for the war effort. Advertisers in women’s magazines jumped on the bandwagon. Wolf explains, “A Pond’s cold cream ad of the time read: ‘We like to feel we look feminine even though we are doing a man-sized job...so we...try to keep our faces looking pretty as you please.’” During wartime, the propaganda in women’s magazines emphasized that it was okay to work in the factory, live on your own and earn your own salary, so long as you stayed “feminine.” One cosmetic company advertisement stated that while the war could not be won by lipstick, “it symbolizes one of the reasons why we are fighting...the precious right of women to be feminine and lovely.”

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After each war, women’s magazines took a drastic turn in emphasis. Forces in culture were concerned about finding work for returning soldiers and fueling the consumer economy. It was important to put pressure on working women to vacate their jobs and go back into their homes, from which they would need to purchase household products. Wolf explains how this was achieved: “The marketers’ reports described how to manipulate housewives into becoming insecure consumers of household products: ‘A transfer of guilt must be achieved...capitalize on guilt over

women outside the home emerged, and women left in droves. Wolf writes, “As women abandoned their role as consuming housewives and entered the workforce, their engagement with the issues of the outer world could lead them to lose interest altogether in women’s magazines’ separate feminine reality...and the magazines’ authority was undermined still further with the fashion upheavals that began in the late 1960s, the end of haute couture and the beginning of what fashion historians call ‘style for all.’” That’s why, in 1969, Vogue made the breakthrough that has evolved into the

natural lines in her skin. Any unique traits in her body are also airbrushed out. Wolf points out, “Even when we see a photo of an older actress in a magazine who we know has character lines on her face, they are never shown—the focus is fuzzed or the airbrusher strikes again to remove them.” According to Wolf, the attitude portrayed by the media in the 1980s and 1990s “includes an aspirational, individualist, can-do tone that says that you should be your best and nothing should get in your way.” This attitude contributes to women’s guilt about their bodies by saying that if

we are often turned away from our true paths because we’re busy worshipping false gods like the perfect face or body hidden dirt...stress the therapeutic value of baking...make housework a matter of knowledge and skill, rather than a matter of brawn and dull, unremitting effort...identify your products with spiritual rewards...for objects with added psychological value, the price itself hardly matters.’” The ramifications of this social propaganda were reflected in television shows of the day like Ozzie and Harriet, Leave It to Beaver, Make Room for Daddy, The Donna Reed Show and Father Knows Best. In these shows, we saw the image of the happy housewife, who didn’t seem to do anything but waltz around her beautiful home in her pretty dress, immaculately made up, looking after her family. We rarely saw her visiting with friends; we never saw her involved in school, civic or other cultural activities. She was blissfully serene in her safe, clean suburban bungalow, which was full of modern appliances. During the 1960s, the second wave of feminism took hold. New avenues for

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cast-iron beauty myth of today. Wolf explains, “Vogue began to focus on the body as much as on the clothes.... In a stunning move, an entire replacement culture was developed by naming a ‘problem’ where it had scarcely existed before, centering it on the women’s natural state.... The number of diet-related articles rose seventy percent from 1968 to 1972.” We are bombarded today with images of the “perfect woman.” One “perfect woman” looks pretty much like the next; she is essentially not human, interchangeable and disposable. In fact, quite often she is presented in bits and pieces like a mannequin—a torso, some legs, a shapely fanny—or like pieces of an assembly line. Our culture judges women, and women judge themselves, against this standard. We forget that “beauty pornography,” as Wolf calls it, is created by pictures of underweight models who are usually between fifteen and twenty years old. We never see a picture of a woman with

you don’t look “perfect” you have only yourself to blame. And, it maintains that if you don’t look perfect there must be something wrong with your willpower. This book is important to both women and men because we all need to become more aware of how prevalent and damaging this kind of media influence is. These messages are so insidious that we accept ridiculous pronouncements without a thought. Energy that could be used to further personal and cultural goals is dissipated into feelings of selfdoubt and self-hatred. How many people have gotten excited about a new project and then thought, “Who am I to do that? They’ll think I’m too old, too fat, too weird-looking.” We are often turned away from our true paths because we’re busy worshipping false gods like the perfect face or body. Editor’s Note: While The Beauty Myth was printed in 1991, and while some of its statistics no longer apply, The RAY finds Wolf ’s message still to be powerful today.

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MitziAndCo.com An Empowered Woman, a global, membershipbased networking community and resource center for women professionals and entrepreneurs. Our current offerings include Web TV & radio shows, tele-calls, MasterMind meetings, coaching, seminars and Second Sunday series. Join us in our mission to educate, motivate and empower women by sharing your stories, challenges and victories.

Love Yourself is a Los Angeles, CA–based apparel manufacturer and record label founded by Mastin Kipp and Ofer Moses. It is our hope that you know how important you are, not only to us, but to the whole planet. All positive change starts within and is a personal responsibility. Please feel free to Love Yourself and before you know it, the rest will follow. Our line of inspiring t-shirts can be found locally at Fred Segal, Kitson, American Rag Cie, Lisa Kline, Golden Bridge Yoga & more.

Imagine...slipping into that look your grandmother had in all those vintage photos. The chance to become a pinup girl is here. Mitzi & Co. offers a unique photo experience for women of all ages. Packages include consultation, makeup, hairstyling, pinup-inspired wardrobe, colorful backgrounds and props for your very own personal photo session. We take a variety of photos to help you achieve that perfect pinup pose. Anyone can be a pinup model! Gift Certificates Available Schedule Your Appointment Now

Desiree@AnEmpoweredWoman.com | 818.865.8563

The Love Yourself Company LoveYourself.net

Be a Pinup for a Day

Akhir Authentic Apparel (A x 3) Ax3style.com In response to activewear choices being either too tight and revealing or too baggy and unflattering, Tafiq Akhir, an accomplished fitness professional, has combined his knowledge of the body, along with his passion for design, to create Akhir Authentic Apparel. If you’re tired of wearing baggy tees to drop off the kids, frumpy sweats to run errands or uncomfortable shorts on your morning run, A x 3 provides active lifestyle apparel designed specifically so that you can sweat in style.

7 days a week | 626.825.2442

Amy Czechorosky

Editor, Writer, and Proofreader You already recognize excellence—you’re reading The RAY! Now you can put this excellence to work on your own projects: more than 17 years of commercial and creative expertise as an editor, writer, and proofreader with superior skill; availability 24/7/365 for any print, Web, broadcast, or other project, anywhere. Everything from typing to brainstorming entire campaigns—if you need it, I can do it. Just ask! Résumé/samples/references upon request Czechorosky@att.net | 310.213.1245

Cuts by Alexis

Makeup by Perri

Alexis Beck is a Sassoon-trained stylist working in a high-end salon on LA’s Westside. He believes that every cut and color is a living and growing embodiment of the Sassoon philosophy.

Independent makeup artist Perri Veganes is based in Los Angeles, CA. For more than 9 years, Perri has specialized in transforming faces for television, editorial and even special events. Perri has a fashion background from Brooks College and is highly trained in makeup artistry. Contact her by e-mail or phone and transform your look today.

Alexis offers high-quality styles at very low prices. This fun-loving surfer from Santa Monica delivers his hairstyling services in a professional but easygoing way. Mention The RAY and get your first cut for only $40.

Alexis Beck | 310.699.9958

MakeupByPerri@MCOM.com | 310.259.5107

Our directory is a unique space created to feature women’s networks, gatherings, resources and products. Become empowered by The RAY and find out how your business can benefit by being a part of the Women’s Resource Directory.

Directory@TheRAYmagazine.com

The Real Authentic You

inspire

WITH Mastin Kipp

what the world really needs is for you to take as many risks as you can

ow is the most exciting time to be alive. I know there’s a lot of doom and gloom out there, dear reader, but that is because not everyone knows what you and I know: There has never been, nor will there ever be, lack in the universe. The only thing that is lacking is our perception to properly interpret what is going on right now. Remember that human beings created the challenges we are having today—that means that human beings can overcome and correct these challenges.

It seems that the more life speeds up and the more we become aware of our soul’s calling, the more that the rigid, ego-based structures stunting our collective creative expression, transform. The good news in all of this is that we now have the best and most amazing opportunity ever to pursue our own dreams. This newfound freedom has some basic rules, but the rules are simple:

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To achieve your greatest dream, you must face your greatest fear. Only you have the power to create the life you want.

Your journey will be a tremendous test of faith and surrender. Let go of everything that doesn’t fit into your dream—and trust what sticks.

Pursue a course of action that will bring only joy to the greater good.

You are being called to your adventure because we are stepping into an age of following our gut instead of listening to the rest of the world. What the world really needs is for you to take as many risks as you can, betting on yourself so that when you come out the other side, victorious, you will be a living inspiration for others to follow their own unique calling. The best thing you can do for yourself and for the planet is to get focused and come alive in what you truly love doing. Step up and really affirm that your dreams are the only truth you will ever know. It makes sense that the world as we know it is falling apart! How else would we finally be able create the world we’ve always wanted —a world of true creative freedom?

Start now.

Get inspired daily with Mastin at TheDailyLove.com.

The Real Authentic You

Be Seen

If no one sees you...you donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t exist. Branding is everything. Maximize your marketing with innovative techniques. Find out how at CreativeUnite.com

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