Simple Steps Real Change Magazine - Holiday 2013 Issue by Cheryl Maloney

November / December 2013

THE PRECIOUS GIFT OF TIME Linda P. Jones P 18

BEST HOLIDAY YET Cheryl Hunter P 13

THE REAL REASON FOR THE SEASON Regina Cates P 40

SLAY YOUR ANXIETY DURING THE HOLIDAYS Shann Vander Leek

P 48

HOLIDAY MERRIMENT OR MAYHEM Marilyn Hough & Chuck Schmitt

CONTENTS

NOV./DEC. 2013

PEACE

08 Tips for a Peaceful Stress-free Holiday Jon Satin & Chris Pattay

12 A Feng Shui Holiday

Ellen Whitehurst

26 Plugging in Brightly

Cindy Harpe Hively

30 Finding Peace

Suzy Manning

44 Adopting a “Vactional” Attitude

Josh Ubaldi

47 Gratitude Habits

Teri Griffin Williams

48 Slaying Your Anxieties During the Holidays

Shann Vander Leek

RELATIONSHIPS

06 Holiday Merriment or Mayhem

Marilyn Hough, LMFT & Chuck Schmitt, LMFT

24 Keep the Joy in Your Family Gatherings

Don Shapiro

43 We are Waiting to Meet You

Kathy Stover

HEALTH & FITNESS

28 Simply Your Healthiest Holiday Ever Dave Fresilli

HEARTH & HOME

16 Have a Green Christmas DeAnna Radaj

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SPIRIT & SOUL

14 Everyday Holiday Jordan Gray

32 Your Most Precious Gift

Janet D. Thomas

36 Give Your Head a Holiday

Deb Scott

38 Are You Ready?

Thelma Putzel

40 Remembering the Real Reasons for the Seasons

Regina Cates

50 The Simplicity of Gratitude

Rochelle Soetan

GIVE & RECEIVE

10 Holiday Giving

IN EVERY ISSUE

04 Welcome

05 In this Issue

Fuzzy Manning

18 The Precious Gift of Time

Linda P. Jones

20 Bring Santa Clause to Life

Greg Kuhn

09 Inspirational Poster

22 Holiday Blues - Turn Them Technicolor

Katrina Mayer

12 Inspirational Video - Best Holiday Yet

Cheryl Hunter

Debbie Lynn

34 The Magical Gift of Loving

Victoria Allen Simple Steps Real Change Magazine www.simplestepsrealchangemagazine.com

Welcome

ratitude and Giving. Isn’t that what this holiday season is all about? We give thanks for what we have in November and then figure out what to “give” in December. Between the family gatherings and the workplace celebrations, we can sometimes find ourselves on the “outs.” Out of time, out of money and out of energy. It’s time to let go of the expectations and allow ourselves to enjoy the season instead! It’s something we can do for us, and if others choose to follow, great! But that’s up to them. This is for us. Let’s make this season of Gratitude and Giving mean something for you! Start and end your day by Giving thanks ... for the people in your life, your job, your health, your intuition, your wisdom and anything else you can think of. Then ... Give thanks for all the things you don’t have ... because each one has taught you something about yourself. That’s a lesson, perhaps born of pain, but something that’s made you wiser and, yes, stronger. Gratitude and Giving take on a whole new and positively energizing meaning when you realize they are one in the same. And when you find yourself stressed this holiday season, return to your Gratitude and Giving space and find your peace. From there ... you can handle anything else that comes your way! With love & holiday cheer!

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IN THIS

Adobe InDesign

ISSUE Publisher & Editor • Cheryl Maloney cmaloney@simplestepsrealchange.com

When it comes to the holiday season we run the gamut of emotions. We’re joyous in our celebrations and blessed by the higher power we honor. Yet, at times, we may be stressed by customs, family and finances. In this issue there is a cornucopia of inspired and inspiring perspectives on how to make the most of this season. Here are a few you want to be sure to check out: • Don Shapiro teaches you how to deal with the family member who uses the holiday gatherings to tell you what you should be doing. • Discover the power of giving experiences rather than things from Linda P. Jones. • Dave Fresilli helps you make this the healthiest holiday season of all. In this issue you’ll also find new perspectives on gratitude and giving, adopting the spirit of the season in every aspect of your life and even a quantum physics position on Santa Claus. From all of us at Simple Steps Real Change Magazine we wish for you a holiday season filled with joy and love.

Creative Director • Jack Maloney jack@simplestepsrealchange.com

Marketing • Kathy Stover kathy@kathystover.com

Copy Editor • Nancy Luscombe General Inquiries P.O. Box 954 Camas, WA 98607 Phone • 503.830.0587 Email • simplesteps@icloud.com Website • www.simplestepsrealchangemagazine.com Copyright All material appearing in Simple Steps Real Change Magazine is copyright unless otherwise stated or it may rest with the provider of the supplied material. Simple Steps Real Change Magazine takes all care to ensure information is correct at time of publishing, but the publisher accepts no responsibility or liability for the accuracy of any information contained in the text or advertisements. Views expressed are not necessarily endorsed by the publisher or editor. Nothing within this publication dispenses medical advice or prescribes the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional or medical problems. It is at the sole discretion of the reader to seek the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the magazine is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself, which is your constitutional right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.

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HOLIDAY MERRIMENT OR MAYHEM Marilyn Hough & Chuck Schmitt, The Relationship Specialists

It’s Your Choice! a place where we have agreement and the feeling that our needs are being considered ... an absolute must for a successful holiday season. Here are three “musts” for a selfish and successful holiday season: 1. Preplan.

is the season. Are you ready for the holiday mayhem … or would you like an alternative? There is another choice. It’s called, letting go of all the rules. The shoulds, the expectations, the family drama. Instead, be selfish. That’s right, be selfish. Cocoon yourself with your immediate family and make the holidays all about your little family unit. Oh no, you say, we can’t do that. Mom and dad expect us to be there for Thanksgiving dinner. My grandma makes brunch every Christmas morning. The school needs cookies for the bake sale. The neighbors are counting on us to attend their annual Christmas Eve Open House. The list is endless. But be honest, are you even on that list? What do you need? What would make your family unit happy this holiday season? Let’s be clear, letting go of all the rules and shoulds does not mean you cannot participate in those activities. It simply means that whatever you do, you do out of choice, not a sense of obligation. Expectations leave us feeling stressed and out of control. Choices make us feel happy and in control. They come from a place of preplanning and discussion with our partner,

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Write a list of ideas or desires that would make this a successful holiday season. (You and your partner should each do this separately.) Now, sit down with your partner and compare notes. Talk about what has worked in the past, things you love doing during the holidays. Talk about what hasn’t worked, things you promised that you would never do again. If you both want the same things, great. Go with that. If there are some discrepancies, you can each explain what makes the items on your list important to you. This is a great time to practice listening without interruption. Try to put yourself in your partner’s shoes and really hear why each item is important to them. When complete, write out your new plan and take a minute to bask in the deliciousness of your holiday vision together. Talk about how much you are looking forward to each aspect of your holiday. If you want to strengthen the new idea even more, close your eyes and visualize each event you have planned. Feel the excitement, the joy, the harmony of every occasion. You can even pick a theme word you want to describe the perfect season … e.g.: fun, family, sharing, harmony. Remember to bring up that word whenever things go off track. They will. And

that’s okay. You have the secret to bring it all back to your vision. 2. Well begun is half done. Make sure you have a solid footing for each event. Whether you are going out to grandma’s for Christmas brunch or entertaining the extended family at your home, make sure the beginning of the day goes smoothly. Set up the day in such a way that you take care of what needs to get done early. That way, by the time you are heading out the door for an activity or waiting for the doorbell to ring for your soiree, you will be calm and ready to enjoy it. This will take a little planning. For most women, it will mean being able to ask for help. Be sure to make your requests task and time specific. Our experience is that many men tend to procrastinate; women then get nervous and revert back to the “I might as well do it myself” attitude. This is clearly not what we are looking for. Men, this may mean that you need to plan accordingly so that you don’t miss too much of that football game! 3. Be thoughtful.

respect for your partner is crucial to a successful relationship. It is even more important during the holidays. (Your partner comes first and your extended family after them.) Being thoughtful can take many forms. Giving compliments, saying I love you, smiling and giving extra hugs. You can help with chores around the house, volunteer to do the grocery shopping, make dinner. Taking it a step further, you could greet your partner with a glass of wine after a long day at work, draw a bath for her, treat him to his favorite dessert. At an even deeper level, you can be aware of how your actions affect your partner’s day. For example, if you are getting up earlier than your partner, get out of bed quietly and leave the lights off so your partner can continue sleeping. A little thoughtfulness goes a long way, especially during the holiday season. The bottom line is this: come January, do you want to be breathing a sigh of relief … or do you want to be smiling at the memories you’ve made, anxious for another year to pass so you can enjoy another holiday season with your loved ones? It’s easy. With a little planning and a lot of thoughtfulness, smiles and good memories will be enjoyed by one and all.

As a rule of thumb, being thoughtful and showing

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TIPS FOR A PEACEFUL & STRESS-FREE HOLIDAY SEASON Jon Satin & Chris Pattay, The Possibility Coaches

t’s the holiday season again. So is it panic, stress and chaos for you? Or is it a time for love, peace and joy? After all, it is a choice. We will share some tips to assist with having a stress-free holiday filled with peace, love and joy!

HOLIDAY

TIPS

Remember to Breathe!

Deep breathing is nature’s natural tranquilizer. So if you feel rushed or stressed, take three deep breaths. Breathe in slowly through your nose for the count of five, to the point where your lungs are fully expanded, and then slowly release it. This can be done anywhere at any time. Deep breathing works wonders and it’s free!

Give Up the Perfectionism!

People do not remember ‘things;’ they remember experiences. How

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do you want to be remembered? For giving the perfect holiday gift, dinner or card? Even if it meant you were stressed, agitated and overloaded! Or remembered for how joyful YOU were? Our neighbor remembers Christmas as being a stressful time of year for her parents. She remembers one Christmas when her angry and stressed-out father threw the decorated Christmas tree out the living room window - through the glass. When she recalls the story, it’s as if she’s a little girl again. However, our neighbor is 80 years old, and that experience still lives with her! Give up the perfectionism and allow the holidays to unfold peacefully.

Keep it Simple!

The holiday season has become a time for material things. It’s a big money-making time of year. Black Friday now determines the future of our economy. Recall the news story a few years ago when a man was trampled to death at a Long island, New York department store on Black Friday? All in the name of a deeply discounted flat screen TV! We’re not suggesting that you do not support the economy. However, it could be a lot less stressful and less expensive if you kept it simple. For example, a three foot table top Christmas tree can be just as fun for the family to decorate as a twelve foot tree. Remember, it’s all about the experience! Simplify by purchasing gift cards. If done properly, they can be a welcomed gift. Cash always makes a great gift too, and it’s the only gift that isn’t returned after the holidays!

Let People Be!

During the holidays, we tend to be

around more people than usual. It seems like all the ‘button pushers’ in your life show up at the same time! Manage your expectations of these people. You can’t change people, and it’s not your place to change them. One of the most effective ways to dissolve conflicts during the holidays is to ‘give up your right to be right.’ By that we mean, don’t engage in arguments. Just say, “Uncle Harry, you’re absolutely right about that. Thanks for pointing that out to me. I never thought of it that way before.” Remember this: the ones who are the most difficult to love are the ones who need it the most! Especially during the holidays,

adults can seem like needy children striving for your love and attention any way they can get it.

Take Time to Decompress!

The holidays are a time for family, friends and joy. Remember to add a little joy to YOUR day. Attempt, as much as possible, to keep your regular schedule of eating and sleeping. Don’t try to get it all done. Understand, too, that it is okay to say ‘No.’ You don’t have to attend every event and do everything. And when needed, ask for help!

Enjoy the experience of the holiday season. Create some balance by giving yourself permission to relax and unwind. Put on your favorite holiday music, make a cup of tea and sit in your favorite chair and enjoy. You deserve it. You now have five practical tips to make the holidays more peaceful and less stressful. Are you going to use them? That’s up to you, and it depends on what type of holiday season you want to have. One of perfection and stress or one of peace, love and joy! Enjoy your holidays and create lasting peaceful memories for yourself and those you love.

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HOLIDAY GI VING Fuzzy Manning

Nothing has meaning except for the meaning you give it, so why not have it be positive!

he holiday season is the highest emotionally charged time of the year. There are family traditions and office parties that are planned to bring people together and create a festive atmosphere. These occasions are usually well attended and deliver an exciting time for all. The holiday season also brings to the surface marital problems, work-life balance struggles, issues with children, or dealing with high stress. This time of year creates an environment where far too many people lose their temper or experience an emotional roller-coaster. People are brought together who don’t interact with each other by choice throughout the year and everything is supposed to be stress free with no confrontation. As you enter this holiday season, how can you be more mindful of others? Are you aware that friends and family members are dealing with unemployment, relationship issues, stress, foreclosure, or an illness? Not everyone you meet is able to embrace the holidays with joy and excitement. There are numerous little things that you can do to help others have a joyous holiday season. Let’s change the banner for

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the holiday season to be, “It’s in giving that you receive.” Here are a few tips to make this holiday season brighter for all those USEFUL you meet. TIPS • Soften your approach – listen more than you talk. Be mindful that people might not know how to turn things around. Be willing to be there for support and to offer advice if they’re open. • Expect the unknown – people will surprise you in what they say and do. Remain calm. You don’t have to solve everything for everybody. Just listen without prejudice or judgment. Most people just want a chance to talk something through to see if their possible solution makes sense • Give people space – this is an amazing gift that anyone can give. You’re allowing people to work through their issues in their timeframe and in their own way. It’s amazing what answers are available when there are no expectations. • Ask for advice – you’ll be surprised in the openness from others. If given an opportunity,

most everyone is willing to give advice if asked. It’s amazing when you come from a heart space that your answers don’t contain should’s or haveto’s, but suggestions only. • Be open and receptive – be willing to go with the flow and see what happens. Just when you think that you’ve got people figured out, they may surprise you in a good way. • Practice acceptance – this is a basic trait that we all want and need in a diverse society. Acceptance lowers stress, boosts confidence, and deflates anger. • Change your attitude – watch your comfort level shift when you change your attitude about what you’re doing or who you’re with. When you engage with no conditions or pretense, magical things happen. The holiday season isn’t only about you, but about taking time to connect with others with no agenda. Giving and receiving may be a basic concept, but the majority of us struggle with both our entire life. Giving originates from the heart with no attachment to the outcome. You give for the pure joy of giving with no expectations. You want to receive with an open mind and accept everyone and everything as is without conditions. There’s nothing that prevents you from engaging in random acts of kindness, paying it forward, or volunteering at a soup kitchen for the homeless. The holiday season tests your flexibility, gets you out of your comfort zone, and helps you to connect with your heart. The majority of gifts that you’ll enjoy giving this year won’t fit under the tree..

Creating More Energy, Empowerment and Purpose

Liz Kearns, MPP, CEP The Vitality Coach for High-Achievers

Liz@KearnsCoaching.com www.KearnsCoaching.com 248-474-3982 Simple Steps Real Change Magazine www.simplestepsrealchangemagazine.com

A FENG SHUI HOLIDAY

With Ellen Whitehurst

We attach so much significance to the rituals of our holidays, including our religious traditions, family gatherings and the way we decorate our homes. What is important for us to consider in order to bring a sense of unity and community to this time of the year?

As we come upon another holiday season, embracing our individual traditions and celebrating our individual holidays, there is a way to create a sense of community and maintain a comforting sense of unity as well. And each one of us can do this by offering service of some kind to those less fortunate than ourselves. These efforts can include volunteering at a soup kitchen or visiting our elderly at nursing homes or assisted living facilities. But service is not relegated to just feeding people in need or holding the hand of someone who may not have anyone left to spend the

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holidays with. Intentionally offering a kind word, a smile - even a hug - to anyone and everyone we come across during this hustling, bustling time of year can work wonders for them while creating a sense of community and unity for us as well. In the world of Feng Shui, hanging decorations (such as a garland or twinkling lights) at a “smiling angle,” with the ends pointing up to create a small swag, can subconsciously “lift” our spirits and our mood, thereby making it easier to go out and offer our good will to the world. Angels and cherubs are considered lucky symbols to have around and can fill us with feelings of harmony and peace. Using images of water or wintry scenes cools the atmosphere down while also creating more balance and beauty for our holiday season. Enacting and practicing Feng Shui in our own personal living space allows us to share these gifts of balance and harmony, peace and serenity with the big wide world. And offering these gifts to the world will allow us to have, quite possibly, our happiest holiday ever.

BEST HOLIDAY YET Cheryl

A Video by

Click to watch the Video

Hunter

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Let’s decorate with light from the inside out, right now. Let’s savor this day this moment

EVERYDAY

HOLIDAY

Do your best to practice your holiday beliefs every day

Jordan Gray

uring our holiday season, families gather and practice their traditions of giving thanks, giving gifts, and wishing one another a happy new year. When the nights are long and the days are cold in the northern hemisphere, we spend more time together. Putting up decorations and colorful lights adds luster to the home. Family gatherings are intended to be loving and fun. Being mindful of our gratitude boosts our feelings of contentment. Feasts and gift exchanges are meant to

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be joyful. Throughout the holiday season we remind one another to be of good cheer. However, it is not uncommon to hear grumbling about the holidays. People who are very busy wrestle with the need to accomplish even more. Some people suffer stress around expectations connected to gift giving. Some fret over feasts and family gatherings that break down into dysfunctional episodes, or simply don’t measure up to unspoken high hopes.

Some people with limited financial resources become painfully aware of lack. Some wealthy people feel guilty about being well-off while others struggle. People who are not feeling merry may notice that emotional condition more acutely in the season of joy. They may imagine others to be extremely happy while they are not. People without immediate family, or a person far from home, may feel more alone at this time of year. Unfortunately for some, holidays for giving thanks, giving gifts, and setting goals for a happy new year are a source of stress. Some believe that this season, intended to be one of love and joy, has been distorted into a time of high expectations, guilt, disappointment, and commercial profit. If you suffer additional stress during the holiday season, I humbly offer a few ideas to help lighten your burden. When we change our beliefs, everything changes. What if we acted as if every day is a holiday? Would we be more grateful for our bounty for the simple gift of this breath? Would we gather the family? Would we ask the folks at the table to tell us something for which they are thankful? Could we let go of expectations that cause stress by letting any meal be a feast? When we are grateful, every day is Thanksgiving Day. What if we gave gifts to each other every day without a reason? What if we defined gifts in a new way? What if we received the gift in a smile, a hug, a phone call? A gift could be reading, writing a

poem, singing together, drawing a picture, or dancing. A gift could be inviting a friend over for dinner. The list of gifts is endless when we stop thinking gifts cost money and come from stores. What if we viewed our conversations as gifts? Will you give the gift of listening today? Love is the greatest gift we give to each other and to ourselves. Give love each day and every day is like Christmas Day. What if we celebrate the arrival of each day as if we are beginning a new year? In this moment we have the power to make change happen. What if we make resolutions toward better habits right now? The calendar is not in control of when we begin anew. Every moment gives us a chance for a new beginning. What if we remember that now is the only moment, and we celebrate the present? Life is happening in this moment, in this singular breath. Every day is New Year’s Day—let it be fun, let it be filled with inspiration.

Why do we behave differently on holidays? Do we allow our seasonal traditions to be loaded with extraordinary expectations? Can we let it go? The power to change our holiday habits is within our control. What if we lived as if every day is a holiday? What if we cherished all acts of kindness and loving moments with friends and family as the most valuable gifts? Would our world transform? Would we live in peace on earth with good will toward all? Let’s give thanks and simple gifts of love today. Let’s decorate with light from the inside out, right now. Let’s savor this day - this moment - as we remember that only now may we begin again. Today, to the best of our ability, let’s remind one another to be grateful and full of good cheer. After all, today is a holiday.

Perhaps you don’t celebrate these specific holidays. Do you practice other holiday traditions? What makes a holiday different from any other day? Find that answer for yourself, then do your best to practice your holiday beliefs every day.

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HAVE A

GREEN

CHRISTMAS DeAnna Radaj

ant to celebrate the holidays, but you’re having a “Charlie Brown” moment of dread due to all of the commercialism that seems to have blurred the true meaning of the season? Are you committed to living a sustainable lifestyle but you’re feeling extreme guilt every time you wrap a present? Fear not! Here are some tips for having an eco-friendly, healthy &and GREEN Christmas ... while still celebrating the season! Be more thoughtful and “intentive” in your giftgiving. Don’t buy something just to fill up a stocking or box. Make sure each item has a positive meaning! It’s better to receive one well thought out gift, rather than a bunch of “stuff”. Be aware of WHERE the item is from! Support local businesses and artisans. You are supporting your community and lowering transportation costs (i.e. lower carbon foot-print). READ the LABELS! It’s better to buy something not “organic:” from a local source, than an organic item made 500 miles away. Be aware of what you are purchasing, and be able to understand the ingredients that make up any product you give and/ or bring into your home. Minimal packaging ... this goes for what you are buying AND how you are giving the item! If you love to wrap gifts, look for wrap made from recycled

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content. Or be creative w/newspaper, fabric, kraft paper. Real versus fake trees...this is a wash. Real trees are mainly grown on tree farms, so no harm is done to the forests, and nothing beats that smell in the home! You really know it’s Christmas when you have a real tree. Make sure to recycle the tree though after you take it down. You can put it outside for a natural fence/home for wildlife and/or put it through a wood chipper to make mulch. A fake tree, while made from petrochemical materials, pollutes and isn’t so “healthy and green” at the beginning, HOWEVER, this is a one-time purchase that you’ll reuse ... I personally light and decorate my big potted palm trees I have in my house. This is an option if you aren’t a “tree” kind of person. Having the lit palms makes me at least feel like I’m in a warmer climate ...

throw on some Jimmy Buffett, crank up the heat and I’m all set! I also have smaller, 2-3 foot fake trees in various colors in different rooms where I have themes set up. I have a penguin tree, a dog tree, heirloom ornaments … it’s fun and festive, and I get to enjoy ALL of my ornaments & decorations. Go for LED (light emitting diodes) as opposed to traditional Christmas lights. They don’t burn as hot, and you’ll save on your electricity bills as they are 90% more efficient! Plus, they “light” for approximately 200,000 hours, AND if one burns out, the rest stay lit as opposed to having the whole strand go out like traditional lights! I hope you got some great ideas to help make your holidays a bit more “green!

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NOTHING’S MORE PRECIOUS THAN THE GIFT OF

TIME

Linda P. Jones

Are you ready for a different plan this year?

GIVE THE PRECIOUS GIFT OF TIME AND CREATE EXPERIENCES TOGETHER

ith the holidays quickly approaching, you may start to feel anxious about how much money to spend for the holidays. The pressure is on - the kids want a lot, and you don’t want to let them down, or your spouse, or your relatives or your friends. The budget always seems to go out the window as you desperately try to find the perfect gift, and usually end up overspending, then being angry with yourself. Are you ready for a different plan this year? Great! Let’s examine WHY we get into a spending frenzy and then rethink this. Every year you probably intend to start earlier, hit the sales in July, and have it all wrapped up way before the holidays, but life gets in the way, and somehow there are people on the list you add at the last moment, people who give you things you didn’t intend to receive from (and now you have to get them something), and on it goes. You try to find

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the perfect gift - and others are trying to find that for you too - but, honestly, it rarely happens. More money is wasted on unwanted gifts than you might think.

the “stuff,” and instead, create experiences. Spending time together will create memories you’ll cherish forever and is heads and tails above a pair of socks.

So, what can we do instead?

My husband and I used to give each other the gift of a cruise almost every year. Eight years ago he passed away. The memories we have from our times together

Give the precious gift of your time and create experiences together! This year, put aside buying

mean more to me than any other gift I’ve received. I have no regrets about not spending enough time together. After he died, I realized it was the memories of the experiences we had that I valued above any of the gifts I received over the years, no matter how expensive. Time together added a richness to our life that a material item cannot. My former assistant, Amy, learned this when her children went to a “rich” person’s home to play. All her kids could do afterward was talk about how large the TV was. So much so, she almost cancelled plans to take them to the Jersey shore for the weekend to instead buy her kids a bigger TV. She read a blog post I had written about “creating experiences” instead of “buying stuff” and it led her to tears. She ended up keeping her plans and taking her kids and the neighbor’s child to the shore for an unforgettable weekend. I’ll even bet the kids enjoyed the change of scenery and special time with the family much more than just sitting in front of the TV - and they will have the great memories forever! So here’s your new “create an experience” plan: spend a day creating colorful and elegant “certificates.” The certificates can be good for a cup of coffee with you (good for co-workers), breakfast, lunch, dinner, or drinks. Don’t write a dollar amount on it, but have a dollar amount in your mind for how much it will cost (coffee for two is maybe $8 at Starbucks, breakfast about $15, lunch about $25 - 35, dinner $50 - 100, and drinks $50 for 2 glasses each plus tax/tip). Think of a fun day trip

you could take to a nearby small town. Buy some stiff card stock at Michael’s and cut it into rectangles. At the top write “Nothing’s more precious than the gift of time.” Put your name and the recipient’s name on it and personalize it with fun designs. Make some extra certificates and set them aside for those unexpected gifts you have to give out at the last minute. Put an expiry date of one year on it to be sure it gets used. Wrap the appropriate gifts and give them to your friends and family. You may also want to create a family or group experience like a trip or cruise. When they open your gift, book a date right away to enjoy the experience together. Now celebrate! You completed your goal of finishing your shopping early - you can relax and really enjoy the holidays for once! You will find your holidays are much more meaningful, less stressful, and you and the recipients will both enjoy the holiday season and the gifts more. Over the rest of the year you will be enjoying the greatest gift - creating new experiences together and sharing the precious gift of your time.

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BRING

SANTA CLAUS TO LIFE

USING SIMPLE QUANTUM PHYSICS Greg Kuhn

ant a great holiday season filled with joy and peace on Earth? One where Santa Claus is real? Well guess what? It turns out jolly old St. Nick is a quantum physicist. You see, if you break any material object in our universe down to its base elements, you will find that it’s made of energy. What are you made of, after all? Cells. And what are cells made of? Molecules. Then what are molecules made of? Atoms. What are atoms made of? Subatomic particles. And what are subatomic particles made of? Energy. You are made of energy. In fact, there is one, big body of energy from which all things are formed; we, and every other material object, all come forth from the same body of energy. Thus, at our core, we are really all the same thing. The idea that we are separate from all other material objects is an illusion. Quantum physics also tells us that material objects are formed when energy becomes coherent, which means that it is in synch with other, like-energy. So you (“you” are energy, after all) form material objects that match your energy (or that match who you are at

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any given moment). Thus, your material reality is the result of coherence you create between the energy of “you” and the energy of the rest of the universe. Prior to you commanding it to become something, energy exists in a state of pure potential. Energy does not form material objects (it does not become “things”) until you tell it what to become by becoming coherent with it. Another term for your personal energy (which becomes coherent with other like-energy to form

your material reality), by the way, is your “beliefs.” In other words, your beliefs are the energy which the universe matches (or becomes coherent with) to form a corresponding material reality for you. Your material reality, then, can be said to be a mirror, or a reflection, of your beliefs. Sometimes you may not like what you see in the mirror, but when that happens you now know exactly what to change. Not the reflection itself, of course, but the source of the reflection your beliefs. After all, if I look in the mirror and desire Santa’s big, white beard, would I manifest that beard with a Sharpie - drawing it on the mirror itself? Of course not! Yet that’s how many people seek to change unwanted parts of their lives before they understand how they create their material reality. Drawing a beard on your reflection with a Sharpie is a pretty logical act if you don’t understand how your reflection is formed. And, likewise, trying to find holiday magic by trying to create the perfect combination of “things” around you is a logical act before you understand that your energy is the source of all those “things” in the first place. But now you understand that having a joyous holiday season is not about how you decorate, who is (and isn’t) attending your holiday celebrations, or which cookies you try not to eat too many of. This holiday season, if you wish to experience more joy, you must be coherent with joy. If you wish

to experience peace on Earth, you must be coherent with peace on Earth. If you wish to see Santa Claus, you must be coherent with Santa Claus. In other words, you must be joy, peace, and Santa. If these are your beliefs, these things will be your reflection during the holidays. I heartily encourage you to focus on aligning your beliefs with your desires this holiday season. Don’t look for things outside yourself to bring good tidings; don’t “draw Santa’s beard on the mirror.” Provide yourself with those tidings in the only reliable way they’ll manifest: by becoming coherent, each day, with the blessings of the holidays. And carry that momentum beyond the holiday season – because this is something you can do during the rest of the year, too.

Just Released How Quantum Physicists

Build New Beliefs by Greg Kuhn

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HOLIDAY

BLUES

Turn Them into Technicolor Debbie Lynn

hen you put love back into the community by doing even the smallest things for other people, it sparks an inner light that shines bright on what this season is truly about... the joy of giving. I invite you to join me … Instead of buying out of obligation, connect to a bigger source. When you do this … everything changes. Being open to the true meaning of the gift brings back the color and magic to generosity and compassion. It’s not just about the season (to whom or why); it’s simply giving without a thought of return. And while the receiver will, of course,

Inside Out Outside In... Give

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appreciate the intention of giving money, the physical act of kindness moves you even deeper. Here are a few ideas:

MAKE GIFT BAGS FOR THE HOMELESS Go to the dollar store or your local drug store and buy (travel size) soap/ shampoo/combs/ disposable razors etc. for personal hygiene gift bags (perhaps adding in hats, gloves and warm socks as well). Put them in small plastic bags to keep them dry and include them in fun gift bags. Distribute them to your local agencies for the kids on the street, or keep them in your car for when you see the homeless on the street corners.

LOOK FOR A GIVING TREE These are trees laced with tags that have wants/needs. They are usually found in malls or banks, and they hold the simplest of requests (bring tissues it will tear your heart up). The young and old ask for the things we all take for granted: A warm meal, a blanket, shoes (that do not have holes in them), diapers, ear muffs, pajamas, books and the list goes on. The needs are basic and uncomplicated.

To do and buy out of love instead of performing out of an obligation is a rewarding experience that is hard to define. Giving takes you right out of self pity into a multicolored perspective. It brings you back to inner honor and revives dignity to the Soul. One small act equates to amazing substance, and your kindness never goes unnoticed. Inside out/Outside in … Give. Give because purposeful intentions fulfilled allow you to see and create a better world. The beautiful color of the gift knows no boundaries; it has much more than one hue, and it always brings a sense of unity and peace. Make it a new a tradition, one that doesn’t always have to happen in December. There are many ways to reach out that bring a sense of happiness and goodwill, and once this path is established, the down side of the holidays (known as the “Blues”) won’t be a part of this season anymore.

COLLECT FOOD Canned food drives are everywhere. Go door-to-door in your neighborhood, meet the ones you don’t know and gather food for the needy. It’s a great way to connect to your neighborhood and get others involved as well. Most banks and churches accept donations.

SPONSOR A FAMILY

There are many families with children that just want a tree, not a toy, but some glimmer of hope with a twinkle. It has been my experience that needy children will ask for gifts for their siblings and/or parents, not themselves (they don’t ever want to feel burdensome). You can also call the Utility Company and pay the heating bill for a family or buy a large bag of groceries or a gift certificate to the market. It is simple and lets them know people really do care.

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KEEP THE JOY IN YOUR

FAMILY GATHERING Dealing with the Advice Giver and Kidder Don Shapiro

he holidays are supposed to be a time of joy, food and family. Only the family part of it doesn’t always turn out like we hoped because sometimes well-meaning loved ones stand on their advice pulpit or set others off with insensitive comments. How do we bring our relatives together to create the true family togetherness we long for? Let’s be honest. Everyone has an opinion about something. Some people think they know what’s best for everyone else. They want to tell us how to clean our house, cook our food, raise our kids, earn money, go on vacation, dress and vote. They want to tell our kids and others the same thing. Or their pointed jokes and ribbing create unnecessary stress and conflict.

DON’T IGNORE THE ISSUE

You know better than that. You

Some of them may have running feuds with certain family members or just seem to rub others the wrong way with their insensitive comments. What’s worse, these well-intentioned loved ones often have no clue how their words are received nor the friction, hurt and chaos they cause. We love them. It’s just their advice and comments that mess things up. Here are six ideas to help you create a smoother and more joyful holiday. That doesn’t mean it’s going to be perfect. It just means we can reduce the amount and intensity of advice giving and insensitive comments while preparing those on the receiving end so they can try to stay above it.

Sometimes, just a conversation

TALK TO YOUR

know how they are. You know

about

DISTURBANCE-

what happens every year.

in the past can help, if

Hoping and wishing won’t

approached in the right way.

ADVANCE OF THEIR

make the advice giving go

You can share your hope

ARRIVAL

away.

that the holiday gathering is

what’s

happened

CAUSING RELATIVES WAY IN

wonderful for everyone, and you can bring up friction Only a proactive approach can make a difference.

that occurred in the past and openly discuss it. Don’t

Take the initiative right now to prepare everyone in

blame or accuse them. Ask for their help. When they

advance and think about what you can do during the

know you are aware of what’s happened, it can lead

gathering to make it a joyful occasion.

some people to restrain themselves.

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If you review what’s happened during previous IDENTIFY EVENTS AND TOPICS THAT

family gatherings, you normally can identify

CAN INSPIRE CERTAIN RELATIVES TO

certain things that tend to set off your well-

MOUTH OFF

meaning relatives and cause friction. That may help you plan the gathering to minimize these occurrences. While you can’t avoid every situation, you might be able to address a few.

If you review what’s happened during previous family gatherings, you normally can identify certain things that tend to set off your well-

BEFORE THE GATHERING, TALK TO THOSE WHO ARE MOST LIKELY TO BE ON THE RECEIVING END

meaning relatives and cause friction. That may help you plan the gathering to minimize these occurrences. While you can’t avoid every situation, you might be able to address a few.

When extended family gatherings have no activities planned, it can result in too much unstructured time that can lead to problems. Balance the unstructured time for PLAN ACTIVITIES TO KEEP PEOPLE BUSY

conversation with planned activities where everyone can have fun while doing things together. Word and music games, amateur talent shows, making or cooking something and much, much more can be created to help

When a relative piles on the advice and you can see others cringing, or when they keep ribbing

keep problem people from getting bored and saying the wrong things.

someone without realizing it’s not funny, you need to step in, pull them aside and deal with it. It’s better they be a little upset with you than ruin everyone else’s fun. Don’t let a relative bully you or others. You have to do what’s best

BE A LEADER, NOT JUST A KIND, LOVING, HELPFUL HOST

for the entire family. If you have tips that have worked for you, please share them so we have as many ideas as possible to create a great family gathering.

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Stress doesn’t have to be part of your holidays. Taking simple positive actions now to plan the upcoming season will reduce pressures and increase your enjoyment of what can be a lovely time of year. What’s more, you can arm yourself with quick practices to remove stress when you’re in the midst of the most hectic days. Is there a better way to live through the holidays so that you plug brightly into the “fun and fulfilling” part and lessen the “stressful” part? You bet there is! Here are ten ways I reduce my holiday stress while humming along in bliss!!!

PLUGGING IN

BRIGHTLY

FOR THE HOLIDAY SEASON Cindy (Harpe) Hively

Are you hearing “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year” going through your head and thinking about the holidays? (Those store carols have a way of taking over your brain!) My brain thinks “It’s the most STRESSFUL time of the year” when I realize we have just finished with Halloween, and it is only the first of November. While this can be a fun and fulfilling time, it can also be a time of great challenge. Stress is higher during the holiday season than during any other time of the year. We (especially women) often feel the most pressure to plan, shop, cook, decorate, and coordinate seasonal rituals, gifts, mailings and parties. We try to do too much for too many people in too little time. The holidays may also remind us of losses of loved ones, friends, homes, marriages, health and jobs that stir sad feelings. No wonder some of us start the season aglow with anticipatory joy, only to end up weeks later feeling awful. Exhaustion, depression, sleeplessness, poor appetite, overeating, illness and irritability are all signs of stress. When do we know how to stop? Yikes!!!

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TEN WAYS TO REDUCE HOLIDAY STRESS 1. Get enough sleep. You may wonder how this fits especially when you have a long

list of things to do for the holidays. However, this truly is a simple step to a stress-free holiday. Lack of sleep leads to fatigue, which in turn reduces your ability to cope with the holiday demands. 2. Find time to exercise, even if it’s only for a few minutes. Exercise helps to increase your energy level and reduce stress. 3. Nourish yourself. In other words, take time to eat properly. In the rush to accomplish all the things planned for the holidays, you may tend to skip meals in order to get more done. You need fuel to continue on with holiday cheer. 4. Plan ahead so that you are prepared for what’s coming up. The last thing you need is unscheduled interruptions to your day. If something unplanned comes up that can wait until later, do not be ashamed to politely refuse or reschedule. 5. Set and stick to a holiday budget for things that are on your lists to do and buy. It’s easy to overspend over the holidays which can lead to stress. Once you set your budget, your decision making will be easy and less stressful when it comes time to make your holiday purchases. 6. Shop early to avoid the holiday crowd. Try shopping over the Internet and skip the hassle of crowded shopping malls, parking and the frustration of standing in line.

7. Prioritize what you want to accomplish over the holidays. Stick with the most important first, and you’ll get those things done that are most important to you. 8. Simplify your life. If you can make things easier for yourself, do so. It saves you from stress, and it works. A lot of things don’t have to be elaborate, especially with decorations and food preparation. 9. Reduce your expectations. High expectations usually equate to higher probability of stress when things don’t work out. Don’t try to do too many things or expect too much from others; take the holiday time to relax. Find little self soothers to pamper yourself throughout your day. 10. Plan to give service, and think of someone’s needs other than your own. This charitable

spirit will help you be more appreciative of what you already have and remember what the holiday is really about. Having compassion for others softens our Spirit and lends its way to awakening your heart within. Expectations are the biggest stress: those that others have placed on us and those we impose on ourselves. Our schedules fill up, and our pocketbooks become empty. Expectations of how the holidays should be keep us from enjoying a time of simpler, more meaningful joys. There is such a simple solution to the holiday stress blues, just say “no “and give yourself the gift of compassion. Let someone else do a project, let the bakery do the cookies, have someone wrap your gifts and have a party when decorating the tree, the more the merrier. Plan now and kick back and enjoy some egg nog!

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SIMPLY YOUR HEALTHIEST

HOLIDAY SEASON EVER Dave Frasilli

appy Holidays Everyone,

This is the best time of the year, don’t you think? The leaves are changing. There is a cool bite in the air. It is a time for families and friends to come together and celebrate the harvest, thanksgiving and the beginning of a new year. It is also a time when we have the tendency to ignore how our bodies work and what can happen when we consume treats, processed foods, and alcohol. We stop giving our bodies the simple factors that allow it to heal. As wonderful as it can be, the extra activities of the holiday season can add increased stress to our lives and over-burden our

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digestive and immune systems. We put off exercising, we eat poorly, and we don’t get enough sleep. We don’t allow time to sit and be still, or to reconnect with those activities that bring happiness into our lives. Remember, health and wellness is a lifestyle. It is not something you can buy in a bottle or create at the gym a few times a week. How we chose to live our lives will create the health, fitness, and wellness we desire. Making the most of this holiday season is a gentle reminder of how amazing you are. Give yourself a moment to feel how you would like your holiday season to be. Feel it filled with loving moments

with friends and family. Make those moments about sharing your thanks for having them in your life, not about the deserts and alcohol. Treat yourself with time to eat well, and prepare wholesome meals for your family. And again, feel how fortunate you are for all that you have. Create some activities special to fall and winter – ones that get you outside and close to nature. Autumn is a wonderful season for hiking, riding horses, playing football, roaming pumpkin patches, bike riding, photography, raking leaves, canoeing, or whatever you enjoy. Winter is even better with all its activities. Give yourself

permission to get out there and be a kid. Make a snowman, take a brisk walk, go sledding, skiing, or snow mobiling. You can still hike, ride horses, and bike ride.

if you are not. •

I make sure never to take food home with me. I keep my kitchen filled with wholesome foods so there are no temptations.

Winter doesn’t mean you are supposed to lock yourself up inside, sitting in front of the T.V. waiting for spring. Our bodies love to move and be active. Give yourself this gift, and you will find that the ten pounds most of us put on over the holidays isn’t on your hips or around your stomach. Do you know what that means? You are already ten pounds ahead of the game, and you will move into the New Year with a healthier, happier, spirit, mind, and body. Here are a few of my best ways not to fall prey to the abundance of sweets and such. •

I always make sure to eat or juice before going to a holiday party, even if they are serving food. This way I am not inclined to crave sweets. Remember: sweets and junk food are not the reason for getting together. This is a time for celebrating our family and loved ones. You can easily do that without ice cream, pies, alcohol, and pizza.

•

I always prepare myself ahead of time by visualizing myself having a wonderful time without diving into the cheese dip, and the rest.

•

I make sure to drink water in a wine glass with lemon, so it has the same feel of participating with the group, and folks are less likely to tease me into drinking. Most of the time people want you to drink because they are, and they feel uncomfortable

Here are a few simple steps to create for your holiday season.

Believe it or not, this is not challenging at all. The key is to remain focused on your desire to feel and be healthy and happy. Every time you do it right, it gets even easier. After a week or so you won’t even think about it. You already have the ability to do so. I would like to leave you with one last thought. Only you can take responsibility for your life and everything about it. Most folks hear the word “Responsibility” and think, ‘Oh great, one more thing I have to do.’ We already have responsibilities to our partners, our kids, our work, and our groups. In actuality, responsibility is a gift. Look at the word “Responsibility,” and let’s break it apart into two words. Response–Ability or having the ability to respond. It is my feeling that having the ability to respond means that you have been blessed with the knowledge, skills, and abilities to take care of, solve, resolve, teach, share, and express who you are and what is important to you in each and every moment of your life. Having the ability to respond and how you respond determines your life. Use your gift of “ResponseAbility” by expressing the best

• Take a moment to actually visualize how you will feel the day after New Years: happy, healthy, and proud that you did so well through the holiday season. Really live in it. • Create a small list of five key thoughts you will focus on each day such as: • Eat well - lots of vegetables, clean proteins, and little bits of fat. • Get sound sleep – this is when your body repairs and rebuilds • Drink lots of water – hydration is so important to your health. • Breathe – take time to be still and quiet your mind. • Get outside and move - start to really enjoy your outside environment.

choices for your health, happiness, wealth, and wellness. Have a holiday season full of happiness, health, and well being! I wish for all of you Vibrant Health!

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FINDING PEACE Suzy Manning

ne of my favorite lines from a song is, “Let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me.” At holiday time, it seems that we are more focused on the message of peace. We pray for world peace. We long for peace in our communities. We envision peace in our families and in the impending holiday parties with family members we do not always get along with. The most fascinating aspect of this is in the line of the song I mentioned – “let it begin with me”. Interestingly, we make up the world, our communities, and our families. If we have not found peace within ourselves, it will not happen elsewhere. What does peace within look like and feel like. Often, we are so involved in living life according to what society says will bring us happiness, security, and a sense of peace that it is not until midlife that we begin to question our life. We get the college degree, marry our sweetheart, buy our dream home, pursue our career, and start our family. As John Lennon states, “life is what happens when you have other plans.” Life happens in the experience of a divorce, a job loss, an illness, an accident, or sometimes just a frustration or nagging uneasiness that what we bought into is not working for us any longer. The gut wrenching

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emptiness or shock of an unplanned mishap overrides any feelings of peace that filled us earlier.

challenging circumstances all the time. Let’s explore some of the illusions we often have on what inner peace looks like.

How can we achieve inner peace while experiencing the unpredictability of life? Finding inner peace can be illusive and darn right confusing because life is filled with crazy, unplanned,

• Inner peace is not ever feeling confusion, anger, or indecision in your life. • Inner peace is not ever getting upset or feeling strongly about inhumane action in the

world. • Inner peace is not liking or agreeing with everyone else’s choices on how to live life • Inner peace is not sitting in meditation or prayer and never taking action or engaging in life

• Inner peace is feeling our confusion and being comfortable sitting with it to determine what action we need to take • Inner peace is not getting pulled into the drama of a situation but taking

life choices impact others’ lives, and we choose to do no harm to others.

We are created to feel and to engage fully in life. It is by monitoring our feelings that we can determine if our life is in balance and if we are living what brings us joy. Many of us have numbed ourselves to survive in the world. The idea that once we have achieved inner peace we never feel anger, sadness, or indecision again is untrue. How do we find an inner peace that carries us through the demanding and chaotic times in life?

appropriate action to protect ourselves or others • Inner peace is knowing that we do not have to agree with everyone and that is ok • Inner peace is living what we are passionate about knowing there will be highs and lows in the journey • Inner peace is remaining focused and calm in a challenge knowing it will play out for our good

resonate within you, and you sense a strong pull to make a statement or to join a cause for quality of life, know that taking a stand will bring you inner peace. Standing by when you know something is unjust will certainly trigger feelings contrary to peace within.

• Inner peace is feeling strongly about what is happening in the world and taking action that resonates within our heart

Inner peace is embracing who we are and feeling strongly enough about our passion that we pursue it despite the obstacles. It is having a sense that we are in this web of life knowing that our

See if you can find the beauty in all of life around you. Laugh, play, and find joy in the diversity of life. When something does not

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YOUR MOST

PRECIOUS GIFT

This Holiday Season

Janet D. Thomas

he holidays can be such a delicious time of year, especially when we have happy memories to embrace. Our happy memories can be the springboard to create even more joy during the current holiday season, continuing the pattern of all things loving, cheery and bright. For some of us, though, the holiday blues can be an all too familiar experience. Whether it is a result of our personal expectations being too high, missing a loved one, spending time with family members weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re not too keen

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about, or something else, the mere thought of the holidays can make us shudder. Whether or not you experience some things bright and others blue, the mandate for the season invites us to consider our relationships in the spirit of reconciliation where there may have been separation and misunderstanding. What a wonderful opportunity, indeed. When considering relationship reconciliation, it may entail some type of repair, which is defined as: To restore to sound condition after damage or

injury. I love the idea of restoring relationships to sound, solid and strong condition. For this holiday season I invite you to give yourself the most precious gift of all, which can be a most effective bridge in repairing other relationships: repair your relationship with yourself first. In your willingness to repair your relationship with yourself first, please consider that you are reuniting with your optimism, your sense of fun, and your secret dreams. To reunite, in this case, is to re-pair with your innate joy and zest for life. And when did

“With your shift in mindset, you can allow this holiday season to be the foundation upon which all of your future seasons, holiday or otherwise, are built.” that you have everything you have always wanted. YOU are your little one’s parent now, and it is up to you to cuddle, honor and appreciate them, taking especially good care of them at all times. In our consensus reality, we are acknowledging the continuing existence of and, more and more, the importance of, the well-being of our child self. We are discovering that, by incorporating esoteric and unconventional approaches to emotional healing, we can experience amazing results. Take time for yourself. When you use your imagination to love your younger self, thus re-writing your own history by replacing disappointment with fulfillment, it changes your energetic frequency right now. The more your younger self is happy and content now, you will enjoy more satisfaction in your reality right now. Be willing to open your heart and imagination to see things differently. Here is the kicker: when you give yourself now what you needed back then, it is as if it is happening right now. Your subconscious mind doesn’t know the difference when it comes to time; it just knows the sensations of what you are feeling now, whatever that may be. With that awareness, your ability to heal is absolutely limitless. The winter season is also often associated with going underground. It can be the perfect time to reflect in order to prepare for the promise of budding again come springtime. With your shift in mindset, you can allow this holiday season to be the foundation upon which all of your future seasons, holiday or otherwise, are built. So, make it good. Make it special. Make it wonderful. Practice, practice, practice. Anchor in the good feelings and watch your life transform!

you have it most? When was it easiest to remember? When you were a child. Repair yourself by re-pairing with your child self. Give your precious little one everything they missed while growing up. If during the holidays you didn’t get what you wanted, whatever it may have been, use your imagination and see your little one having it … love, acceptance, toys, fun, kisses, praise, ALL OF IT! See your little one happy and energized. Imagine. BIG. Breathe in, very deeply, and acknowledge

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THE MAGIC GIFT

OF LOVING Victoria Allen

For this holiday season, why not wrap up your love and offer it to your loved ones? loveable right now?” The Six Love Vibrations described below guide you to effectively offer your own distinctive gifts of love. The transformation these vibrations bring is magical. 1. Earth ~ Hold ground when the earth shakes.

Love is the strongest power in creation. For this holiday season, why not wrap up your love and offer it to your loved ones? Love is the medicine that comforts, heals and makes whole. You can offer your love through kind actions, or you can dial your energy field to a specific Love Vibration that meets people where they are and feeds them what they need. At times you may have wondered: “How do I love her when she is so emotional or confused?” or “How do I love him when he is so isolated and protective?” or “How do I love myself when I don’t feel

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When a relationship ends, a job is lost, a family member dies, or a natural disaster shakes you, you feel unearthed. Catapulted into disillusionment, no stable foothold, you feel lost. Your sense of ground is the first thing to go. The Love Vibration that most serves during upheaval is holding Earth. Its energetic communication says: “I’m here, I’m reliable, I’m stable and I’m solid for you.” When you find someone ungrounded, become the Earth for them. Stand rooted, while you silently or verbally communicate these simple statements. Be the Earth until the person you are with can anchor into his or her own ground. 2. Containment ~ Be the container for feelings.

Strong emotional states can be overwhelming. Deep sadness, terror and rage unsettle us. Often, the vulnerability of intense feelings gives people a sense of losing control and safety. To soothe emotionally charged situations become the Love Vibration of Containment. This energetic or verbal communication says: “I hear you, I acknowledge you, I accept you and I respect you.” Containment has no need to fix or figure out, yet offers a stabilizing force for highly charged emotions to move through. This safe harbor gives space for emotions to be felt and pass through until equilibrium is re-established. 3. Witness ~ Shine a clean mirror for others to sort themselves. Important decisions often bring up conflicting internal voices. The confusion that results needs clarity. If you try to fix someone’s uncertainty with your opinion, you interfere with their opportunity to connect with their own wisdom. The Love Vibration that supports people discovering their own clarity is the Witness. Detached

from your own point of view, hold up a clear mirror from your highest self that communicates: “I hear all your considerations, I trust your process and I trust you to find your way.” Shine as a clear Witness and people arrive at their own clarity.

who they are. This Vibration says: “You are more than you think. You are Love, the greatest power. Open to the possibilities Love offers.”

4. Expansion ~ Expand the energy field to open possibility.

Everyone wants to be seen, heard and acknowledged for who they are. Each of us shines a personal ray of light, an essence that carries our unique gifts.

The challenges of change and growth throw people into the uncomfortable unknown. They question: “Is this right? Who am I now? Where am I going?” As fear of the unknown arises it is common for people to hunker down in selfprotection and close off options. The Love Vibration of Expansion releases contraction and opens to the possibilities of life. Hold yourself as a limitless being, and others can step into the breadth of

5. Recognition~ See the special in everyone.

The Love Vibration Recognition allows others to feel validated for who they are and what they bring. Each time you see the unique beauty in someone and let them know, you feed them Love. 6. Compassion~ There is One Heart in existence. To hold another’s heart as your own heart is a potent expression

of love. In the One heart there is no “he” or “she’”, no “you” or “me.” The Love Vibration of Compassion communes with the One Heart that resides in all beings. When we shift from “I” to “we”, from domination to partnership, from “either/or” to “both-and”, from competition to cooperation and from power over to power sharing, we participate in creating a more peaceful world. Compassion means to “be with.” It communicates: “I get it, I am with you, and you are not alone.” Give generously this season. The Six Love Vibrations transform relationships and lives—for both the giver and receiver.

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GIVE YOUR HEAD A

DAILY HOLIDAY Deb Scott

hat’s in a holiday? Why does everyone in the world seem to be so enthusiastic and engaged to celebrate the season? Wouldn’t you love to capture the essence of this special day in each and every day throughout the year? Whether you are a Christian celebrating Christmas, of Jewish faith celebrating Hanukkah, or enjoying a non-religious holiday such as Kwanzaa, there are common threads noted in each which can help us respect the delight in each of our differences. Here are three of my personal favorite ingredients which never fail to generate greatness: 1. Reflecting on the reason for the season. 2. Scheduling specific times of

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togetherness with loved ones to be grateful for the reason in the season. 3. Reflecting in silence on the moments of laughter and love which refreshed my whole soul with optimism and peace. You need to clearly understand you’re ‘why’ you are doing what you are doing, before you can ever get to the ‘how’ you are going to arrive at the destination. You must know ‘what’ you expect to accomplish before you can know ‘who’ will help you succeed in getting there. For me, as a Catholic, Christmas punctuates a new life in Christ, a purpose to live beyond what I see in the here and now, to contribute to a plan bigger than myself. A time to cleanse away that which

no longer serves my mission, and clear the clutter of toxic feelings, thoughts, behaviors, people, places and things not necessary for the journey. An opportunity to recharge and refresh helps me stay on track to focus on whom and what truly matters most. Should such a noble life-time effort be limited to one day per year? I think one of the best gifts the big once a year holiday can offer is to help each one of us thirst for a steady diet of the many things we love about the holiday in the first place. You wouldn’t take a multi-vitamin once a year and expect the effort to result in permanent physical health, so why would you think one great holiday a year could sustain your

emotional health any differently? Time is the one commodity none of us are able to buy back regardless of how much material wealth any of us may have acquired over time. Rich or poor, old or young, time passes at the same rate for each of us, 24 hours in a day, 365 days a year. If you acknowledge that your life is a gift, you are responsible to unwrap it. If you believe you will one day leave your physical body behind, wouldn’t you agree some good planning and preparation is worth your effort now? If you intellectually accept love wins over fear, shouldn’t that truth be visible in all you say and do today? Master Ryuho Okawa, president and founder of Happy Science states, “When you practice genuine self-reflection, you will receive support, encouragement, power and energy. This comes to you directly from Heaven, and it supports and nourishes you through life.” I don’t know about you, but a free daily divine download sounds like a good deal to me! Three questions that can give your head a holiday: 1. What is your reason for being? What motivates you in the

morning? What mission do you feel compelled to fulfill? Example: My reason for being is to be the best person God created me to be, to get to heaven, to begin to live that now, and help others do the same. Write yours down now: 2. How will you schedule a few moments during your day to connect with others who have like-minded reasons for being as you? Who reinforces your focus forward, and helps prune away any poison from the past? Example: I will share a thought, event or insight that validates and reinforces my reason for being which I experienced during my day with someone in my circle of strength. This creates an opportunity to exchange and enlarge feeding the fuel of love. Write down what you want to share from today, and who you will share this insight with here. 3. Reflect to refresh in the silence of your soul to give root to the gratitude and goodness you have grown during this day. Call it prayer, meditation, mindfulness or active appreciation, this small step seals to strengthen and support what matters most, while simultaneously weeding out what matters least. Example: I take a few moments in the morning and evening to thank God for what I have and don’t have, while asking for the grace to see the possibility of beautiful blessings in each. There is often a big difference between what I need vs what I want. When I begin with the basics I might take for granted, food, shelter, health, everything else

suddenly becomes a good feeling endorphin rush. Write down two things which matter to you the most which you already have on a regular basis. Taking time to give your head a holiday in self-reflection is never wasted time; it’s worthwhile time. In his recent bestselling book Imagine: How Creativity Works, Jonah Lehrer writes: “While it’s commonly assumed that the best way to solve a difficult problem is to relentlessly focus, this clenched state of mind comes with a hidden cost: it inhibits the sort of creative connections that lead to breakthroughs. We suppress the very type of brain activity that should be encouraged.” Giving your head a holiday is not just a nice idea, it’s a medical necessity for your spiritual survival! So next time you feel inclined to buy the lie that you don’t have the time, pause for a moment and remember this: “Half an hours’ mediation is required daily, except when you are exceptionally busy, and then you will need a full hour.” St Francis de Sales

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ARE YOU

READY

To Step Outside Your Box? Thelma Putzel

onnecting back to Inner Worth is finding that place inside us where everything is possible. The journey to finding Inner Worth begins with our thoughts about who we are and the agreements we’ve made about ourselves as we travel through life. Our thoughts about our own worth start developing at a young age and continue to this day through reoccurring scripts narrated by our parents, significant other, friends, employer, and society on what we should think, how we should act, what we should say, and maybe even who we should be. However, there comes a time in our lives when discomfort begins to settle in regarding these monotonous scripts, and we begin asking ourselves, “Is this true for me?” These uncomfortable feelings are a result of our thoughts contradicting our worth, and they provide us with

an opportunity to evaluate the thoughts and agreements we hold about ourselves. Are these still true, or are these thoughts and agreements holding me back from the truth of who I really am? When we let go of limiting thoughts and agreements, we begin to create space for new thoughts and beliefs to develop about who we are. We allow ourselves to open up to fresh ideas about ourselves and begin to appreciate and realize what we have to offer to this world and those around us. We stop comparing ourselves to others, we start to question the words and actions from those closest to us, but most importantly, we begin to love ourselves under all conditions. Believing in our worth is knowing it, owning it, and claiming it. It is about standing in our originality as an individual and offering the exclusive gifts we hold to those we come in contact with every day. When we rise up to this truth, we set in motion the willingness to strengthen the muscles around self-confidence, courage, and personal power. Muscles that we’ve always had but may have neglected due to the limiting thoughts we’ve had about ourselves and what we believe we could do or be. Our self-confidence begins to strengthen as we shift to new levels about who we are, no longer seeking approval outside of ourselves but trusting our inner voice and allowing the tiny flicker of light within us to shine brighter and begin to fascinate those around us. Our courage blossoms as we embrace the idea that the companion of courage is fear. While in the past we’ve held fear at an arm’s length, we now hold fear as a friend that makes us aware of when we’ve left our comfort zone, providing an opportunity for us to lean into the path of expansion and growth and become someone greater than what we thought possible. Our personal power becomes well defined within our minds, and we recognize that when our worth is applied to all areas of our life, we are exercising our personal power. To date there are over seven billion people on this earth. Each individual is constructed of trillions of cells, making no two individuals alike. However, as

Worth has an enormous impact towards serving the greatest good for all. a culture we find ourselves wanting to mimic the lives of others, making sure we don’t stand out too boldly in a crowd. Inner Worth looks within. When we are willing to eliminate these ideas of worth placed upon on us by today’s culture, we create a profound shift within us and begin to project a captivating value about who we are that is sensed by everyone around us. The external accomplishments of holding a high position within a company or achieving remarkable business goals are results of seeing our worth. We become an inspiration to others as our life begins to transform in ways we’d never dreamed of with unexpected opportunities and material assistance beyond our expectation. We experience things we never thought possible. If we are willing to step outside the box of culture’s norm, open up to understanding, and embrace our worth, magic begins to happen. Our lives begin to change in ways we’d never thought conceivable, and we discover that owning our Inner Worth has an enormous impact towards serving the greatest good for all.

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REMEMBERING THE

REAL REASONS FOR THE SEASON Regina Cates

have a love/hate relationship with the holidays.

I love the multicolored twinkling lights that adorn homes and offices. I adore the aroma of warm cookies and sweet treats baking. I get teary-eyed at the sounds of carolers as I am taken back to pleasant childhood memories of doing the same with my friends. I cherish the tinkling of the Salvation Army bell that reminds us of those less fortunate. I like the confused look on my little dog’s face when I snap a photo of her in reindeer antlers. I love spending a week writing holiday cards, reinforcing my connection to treasured people in my life. I appreciate the Jewish tradition of lighting the Hanukkah Menorah for the Festival of Lights and the heart-based motivation behind the Christmas tradition of God-consciousness being birthed in the form of the man Jesus. Yes, I love the reverence for spiritual enlightenment, festivities, fun, food and gatherings for the holidays. And I hate the consumerism that is so pervasive this time of year. It used to be well past Thanksgiving before holiday ads started to appear. Now I am still roaming around in my Halloween vampire costume when the relentless assault begins. The twinkling lights, tinkling bells, and carolers are a mere whisper among the roar of ads for the countless “things” we should

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wrap up for our loved ones to show that we care. When did what we buy become more important than standing by? When did presents become more important than presence? When did “things” become the most important things? I had to honestly ask myself these questions because there was a time when I had forgotten the reasons for the season and had almost drowned in debt. For too many years, I gave too many presents that were too big for my budget.

From an early age, I felt as if I was molded into being a holiday purchasing machine. I was constantly bombarded by product ads promising to make me and other people happy. I spent much of my life surrounding myself and others with things. So, I got used to whipping out the credit card, without caring how I was going to pay when the bill arrived. Nor did I stop to question if giving and receiving “things” was actually the way to joy or peace. Then one holiday season I had a lifechanging “aha” while reading Charles Dickens’s classic novel A Christmas Carol. When I first encountered Ebenezer Scrooge, I thought he was a despicable individual. He was rich and stingy, angry and miserable, seemingly without heart. He cared nothing for anyone except himself. Despising the poor and hungry, he was a cruel boss who forced poor Bob Cratchit, his ever-loyal employee, to work long hours in horrible conditions, paying him almost nothing. Scrooge was a dastardly man, yet by the end of the tale he had become my hero. His complete transformation, from mean and miserly to kind and generous, left a deep and lasting impression on me.

realize that to “keep up with the Joneses” or blindly follow the “gift giving” standard set for me by a global sales force was a shallow and irresponsible endeavor, one that did not align with the real reasons for the season. Yes, the holidays are a time when we give and receive. And it pays to remember that the most precious gifts are those that cannot be purchased but come from our heart. This holiday season let’s make the conscious decision to make

presence more important than presents. Let’s place greater value on standing by, rather than what we buy, those we love. Let’s make our relationships the most important thing. Let’s refuse to equate consumerism with love. Let’s remember that the true motivation behind the holidays is to extend kindness, patience, peace and generosity to friends, family and our fellow human beings. Let’s remember those whose need is greater than our own. These are the real reasons for the season.

The old Scrooge showed me that money, things, and power over others are not the source of joy and satisfaction. The enlightened Scrooge taught me that it is the heart connection we make with our fellow human beings and all life that creates joy and contentment in our lives. Scrooge helped me

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WE ARE WAITING

TO MEET YOU Kathy Stover

hen I was a child and someone new would move into the neighborhood, I remember Mom and the other neighborhood women welcoming them with home-baked goodies and an invitation to coffee. If it were near the holidays, you would get a sense that they were family, as the invitation to share at the table with us was always open. I’ve always thought of technology and the provisions we have with social media to be much the same. We can enjoy a warm chat and a hot cup of coffee or tea. It’s a place of invitation to join me at my family’s table, so to speak. A few short years ago, some of these platforms were primarily for marketing purposes. Now, it has become much more. With the Holidays fast approaching, sharing with family and new and old friends allows us to share what this time of year means to each and

every one of us, regardless of our beliefs. I’ve heard lately that connections are the new currency. In my opinion, connections and relationships have always been valuable - with and without technology - and not just for the monetization of our business, but adding to the wealth of our personal lives. What social media and technology give us is the ability to sit, chat and connect easily with anyone worldwide. It’s interesting to note that in this amazing time of connecting, we have the freedom to know more about other cultures and share opinions and thoughts; unexpected doors open – ones that may not have been open before or that we didn’t even know existed. We can connect with anyone with any given talent or ability, process or product - just with the click of a button. How cool is that! How we show up in any of these places really isn’t any different than meeting someone in person, although we have a constant ability to share thoughts, feelings, our businesses, our wins, losses and everything in-between on a regular basis 24/7..

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More than any other time in history, we have the ability to not only create sustainable business, but also to create long standing and fulfilling friendships and partnerships. Whether you are new to social media or a seasoned online veteran, there are, in my opinion, several important things that make a difference in how we share up and show up.

Important things that make a difference in how we share up and show up.

BE AUTHENTIC

SMILE

You can share the eyes of your soul and your light within, albeit digitally, and it might be virtual for the relationship and connection in the beginning, but it doesn’t mean it will stay that way. I’ve met hundreds of people in person that I once only knew online.

COLLABORATE

I know this sounds a little silly, right? People can feel the energy in your words. They have a sense of who you are by what you write. Even without a photo.

LISTEN There is a lot of noise out there with all of the postings, ads and photos. But if you listen, you will be able to respond to those that seek you, your gifts and your knowledge. They will be open to hear you beyond the noise, beyond the confusion.

Your gifts are meant to be shared. Connections bring the right people to collaborate with - people who can help you spread your gifts in ways you never imagined.

PROVIDE VALUE Regardless of what the reasoning is behind the connection you’ve made, you’ve created a friendship or impacted a business. I always say; exceed the perceived value. You will be rewarded.

As the Holiday season grows near, take this time to not only connect with family and friends but to reconnect with old friends, and make new ones anywhere in the world. And share your gift …We are waiting!

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ADOPTING A “VACATIONAL ATTITUDE” MAKING YOUR HOLIDAYS LAST WELL INTO THE NEW YEAR Josh Ubaldi

his can be your first year to lengthen the holiday season to the point that it never really needs to end. Just imagine this for a moment: spending quality time with loved ones, consuming all sorts of treats that you crave, feeling warm and rosy nearly every day, and focusing on giving, not to mention plenty of receiving, every single day, even though there is no “real excuse” for living so well. It sounds fairly blissful to me, though you may be thinking, “But … but … how exhausting!” or “How decadent, how much weight would I gain?” or “I could never do that with my kind of schedule.” Well, it can work despite all of those things, if you just give it a chance. Where I come from in New England, we usually rely on the weather to give us cues to move on to the next season, from balmy sandalwearing nights, to crisp sweatersporting walks along crunchyleaf strewn roads, to the indoor festivities that involve candles and plenty of baking and gift wrapping. But like many of you, where I live now, in pleasantly, perennially sunny Los Angeles, we don’t have the luxury of such seasonal nudges. We must rely on calendars and the decorations

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in our local Target or Walmart to remind us what is just around the corner, despite our weekend hikes and farmer’s markets. We in temperate climates must make a significant effort to fully celebrate certain holidays and seasons and to not forget they’re the norm for everyone else we Skype with. So I realized, there might be a

marvelous blending of the two. Many of my clients come to me because they find themselves burning the candle at both ends, suffering from exhaustion and, more often, a significant lack of perspective. They don’t see the holidays approaching until they’re just upon them, and then what happens? Pressure! “How did it come so fast? Now I have to

buy gifts and plan travel, not to mention a party for …” I expect you may share some deep empathy for their best intentions. So with these clients, we often discuss adopting a “Vacational Attitude.” Yes, this is my own trademarked term for keeping and incorporating the best qualities of our holiday experiences into our daily lives. [Note: I am using the linguistic variation of the term “holiday” here to mean “vacation.” Most of our non-North American friends use it this way, and for them the word doesn’t carry the emotional baggage that it so often does for North Americans during the traditional Thanksgiving through New Year “holiday season.” We will not discuss any type of “holiday depression” here, as that is best suited for a therapy-centric atmosphere.] In as simple terms as possible, let’s examine what comprises a vacation-oriented attitude to life. How do you feel when you’re on vacation? What qualities about the vacation life and yourself spark to life when you are out of your ordinary, overly-grounded “regular” life? For a majority of people, there is a greater sense of powerful, positive emotions and states of freedom such as joy, lightness, giddiness, warmth, goodwill, contentment, even just plain old fun.

water, read romance novels and sip margaritas may indicate a desperate respite from your overlyorganized and laden schedule. This is in sharp contrast to the urban culture holiday that feeds one’s cultural and intellectual goals, or even the daredevil adventure holiday of the bungee-jumper or Kilimanjaro-climber that satisfies one’s need for challenges, surprise and accomplishment. I guarantee you that, ultimately, all vacations, no matter the type, lead to those same characteristics: freedom, joy and fun. So let’s extend this to our imminent “holiday season.” What do you treasure or relish most about the best of this season? Is it the freedom from your regular heavy routine and schedule? Is it the warmth and contentment of catching up with old or rarely seen friends? Is it the opportunity to cut loose, have a few more drinks, let your hair down or loosen that tie and really have … some giddy fun? Are you starting to see a pattern here?

And yet so many of us “HOLIDAY burn out SEASON” after this What do you treasure holiday most about this season? season is complete. We overdo it. We overindulge. We cram events and drinks and dinners into such a tight timeframe that all our daily needs and requirements fall to the wayside, only to seek revenge after the New Year. The reason, most people tell me, is because they do not give themselves these fulfilling pleasures or, more sadly, “luxuries” of joy and satisfaction in their lives throughout the rest of the year. This is how we end the cycle of binging and purging on fun, happy-making activities: Actively incorporate soul-satisfying activities into your life with extreme regularity. Schedule them, even when there is something more “pressing” to distract you. I guarantee that whatever requires

What do you seek most when planning a vacation? Your answer will vitally tell you what you either need most in that period, or what you crave most for your personality. Being in desperate need of a beach holiday where you do nothing but loll in the

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your attention will still be there if it’s vital, except that you will actually be able to tackle, handle or manage it when you’re happier and less stressed, for a change. It really can be this easy. Is the question even deeper than this? Perhaps it comes down to that regular, niggling problem that is solely in our imaginations: worthiness. Many of my clients just don’t give themselves permission to enjoy themselves because they’ve set up an unwinnable game of reward-earning for their achievements for which they perpetually feel unworthy to win. We’ll discuss this in our 2014 columns.

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But for now, accept this: You are worthy of having fun, and r e g u l a r l y. You have permission to enjoy your life, your friends, your family, and r e g u l a r l y. Finally, you have the right to carry the joys of the holidays into your daily, regular life, even when the holidays end. Here’s my challenge to you: Adopt

a “Vacational Attitude” at least until Valentine’s Day or Easter, and let me know in the comments how it goes. Heck, it might just last the whole year.

GRATITUDE HABITS Teri Griffin Williams

wo of my favorite words are Thank You! It always amazes me how wonderful it feels to say and hear those words. When I say them, I know that something delightful has taken place in my life. In fact, I wake up every morning with “Thank you” in my head - “Thank you” that I am alive to live another day, no matter what happens. When I hear them, I know that someone has simply received something - a gift, a thought, a smile. It might have been from me, or it might have been in a conversation I had the honor of overhearing. (Sometimes eavesdropping is a good thing.) Like most of you, I’ve had my share of ups and downs. Those who know me well, know the “back story” of my life, sometimes ask me how I did it, how I managed to get through it all and still have a smile on my face. One simple word: Gratitude. Replace old habits with new ones to create an attitude within that focuses on what works instead of what doesn’t! What’s a habit? According to dictionary.com it’s

Want to get through anything with ease and grace? Be grateful. an acquired behavior pattern regularly followed until it has become almost involuntary - a learned behavior that we’ve repeated so often we don’t even think about it, we just do it. What we focus on multiplies! When we focus on what we are grateful for every day, gratitude becomes a natural part of our life, like brushing our teeth. All habits are formed by repeatedly practicing or living a certain behavior over and over again. How to make gratitude work for you? • Open your eyes in the morning with “Thank you!” • Close your eyes at night with “Thank you!” • Be grateful for everything in your life - good, bad or indifferent. • Be open to seeing something good in every situation. Sometimes you might have to look a little harder than others.

• Recognize your blessings: the breath you take, even if it’s labored; a sunny day, even when it’s cold; a warm coat, even if it has holes in it; shoes on your feet. • Say “Thank you” often. Pay attention to how many times a day you say “Thank you!” • Pay attention to how many times a day you hear “Thank you!” • Create your own ABC’s of gratitude. How long does it take for a habit to form? Who knows. There are too many variables. It doesn’t take long though to know we want to be happier; sometimes we simply choose not to act. Focusing on gratitude takes your attention off of the lack or negativity in your life and puts the focus on what’s working, what’s positive and joyful. Remember, what we focus on multiplies, thus gratitude raises our vibration to our own place of joy.

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Holiday self-

care Tips

SLAY YOUR ANXIETY DURING THE HOLIDAYS Shann Vander Leek

ne of the challenges of the Holiday Season is that we often lose sight of caring for ourselves. When we try to make everyone happy and everything perfect, our energy gets zapped. When we’re low on energy, it’s easy to get dragged around by our inner critic and other people’s agendas. In this article you will find supportive holiday self-care tips so you can slay your anxiety and get the most enjoyment out of the days ahead.

Carve Out Moments for Self-Care If the holidays have you stressed and on the run, create 15-30 minutes each day to quietly do something you enjoy. If you have guests coming to stay with you, plan to get up a bit earlier than everyone else and read or sip your favorite tea by the tree. Suggest a walk during the day, or have an early night and listen to a guided relaxation in bed. During this busy time, carve out small amounts of time to balance out the energy you are giving

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away. Enjoy a warm bath, do some inspirational reading, play some music that helps you feel calm and happy, fill your home with fragrances that you find relaxing or uplifting.

Protect Your Energy Extroverts get a positive energetic charge from social gatherings. Introverts can find it draining to be with people for long periods of time. Many introverts say social gatherings make them nervous or anxious. If you have a busy social holiday

schedule ahead of you, and you fall into the introvert or anxious category, you’ll want to get clear about how you prefer to best care for yourself. Do you need some alone time, or a walk? Give this some thought and allow yourself some space when you need it. Taking a walk after a big mealtime gathering allows for space, even if a few people tag along. Being outside will help you digest your meal and clear your head. It’s easy to lose track of time over the holidays and miss out on fresh air and natural daylight, both of which are essential to feeling healthy and energized.

Keep Warm and Nourished Hot spiced apple cider and herbal teas will keep you warm and hydrated without the stress to your nervous system that coffee and alcohol bring. Make sure you get enough lean protein and nutritious greens each day along with all of your favorite holiday pies, cookies and traditional meals.

Free Yourself from Expectations You can plan meals and social time to an extent, but holidays are much easier if you can let them unfold naturally. You can’t control the opinions, moods or priorities of others. Set an intention to enjoy your family and friends. Then show up as yourself, and the rest of the experience will play out as it will.

Remember to Breathe Practice being aware of your body and tension levels. If you notice yourself feeling overwhelmed by noise, crowds, family excitement, etc., make a conscious act of dropping your shoulders and exhaling slowly. Then take a couple of minutes to take some slow deep breaths, no one will notice, and you will feel more relaxed. You can slay your anxiety during the holiday season by carving out moments for self-care, protecting your personal energy, staying well nourished, freeing yourself from expectations and remembering to breathe. Wishing you the very best of moments and memory-making this holiday season.

Cheryl Maloney As I think back on the holidays when I was a child, they were filled with family, food and fun. At times there was stress between the personalities, but the joy of the season overshadowed it. In recent years the family has spread out across the world, we’ve gone our separate directions, and those who created those traditions have passed.

Now it’s just my husband Jack, my mom and me. We have created our new traditions that I’ll treasure all my life. I miss my grandparents and my dad. But I have these wonderful memories. Each time I make a holiday pie, my grandma is cheering me on. The twinkle in my grandpa’s eye fills my heart with love. And my

Dad is smiling down because he always said things work out as they need to. And they have. My memories of what was, and what is at this moment, begin and end with love. And when we allow ourselves to lead with love all is as it should be.

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lending a helping hand to the lion who has now become his comrade. The unpredictable opportunity arrives when the lion is captured and netted by hunters. The mouse remembers its clemency and frees the lion by gnawing through the ropes, a perfect example that one good favor really does deserve another.

THE SIMPLICITY

OF GRATITUDE Rochelle Soetan

n one of the oldest fables in literature, we are reminded that gratitude can be cultivated from the tiniest echo to the biggest beast. The classic folktale The Lion and the Mouse provides us with an interpretation to consider when we assume that we must exert a ton of energy to feel valued or employ some enormous task to get recognition. Gratitude teaches us the simplicity of being humble, good-natured, and unrestricted. This philosophical narrative which dates back to the 18th Century tells of a mouse who lands in the path of a sleeping lion and begs the lion not to kill him. The mouseâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s genuine appeal for mercy prompts the lion to reconsider, thus with a hint of compassion. Out of gratitude the mouse suggests that someday, perhaps, he can return the benevolent favor of

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Generosity generates reciprocity, and gratitude is the vehicle by which it is acknowledged. If we believe this to be true, why do give less and stress more when we feel that something is too difficult to achieve? Why do we challenge many of our situations with more complexity than they deserve and deny ourselves the space to feel appreciated? Even in the 18th century, artists, sculptors, and philosophers dissuaded against deferred gratitude; they believed that no form of service was to be despised. The act of gratefulness is simple: believe, acknowledge, benefit and receive.

we are brave enough to slow our pace and show understanding for ourselves and one another, we realize the simple blessings we’ve overlooked all along: like breathing, helping, sharing, smiling, walking and speaking. Gratitude is priceless. Its simplicity bestows us a greater sense of happiness, satisfaction, and overall spiritual well-being. The seasonal holidays are some of the most festive and spiritual times of the year, where time-honored rituals are enjoyed by present and successive generations. In essence, this period creates a place and space for encouraging opportunities when families make every effort to gather together, no matter how far apart they live, or how emotionally distant they seem. These special occasions resonate with meaning and joy, morality and gratitude. Be thankful for each day, as it is, and for what it offers. This holiday season, turn down the volume or turn off the noise. Learn to meditate. Commit to doing less and saying no more. Visit an old friend. Simplify your life by making enough – enough. Don’t just enjoy the assortment of holiday delights on the dessert table; indulge yourself completely in gratitude! Happy Holidays everyone!

Gratitude has been known to serve as a motivator and benefactor for our behavior. As well, it serves to reinforce pro-social behaviors. For example, a patron of a restaurant may give a bigger tip when the server is more attentive and accommodating. Daily etiquette practices like “thank you” and “you’re welcome” help us to observe more gratitude. We thrive on good relationships, and the quality of those relationships help us to define who we are and how we live our lives. Gratitude helps us to see what is most important and the main purpose in how we connect. Being thankful has the power to improve all of our relationships; most of all, the single one we have with ourselves. Friendships are necessary but you should enjoy your own company – alone. Like the lion in the fable, when

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Contributors VICTORIA ALLEN Mentor Of Minds , Tender of Dreams, Raise Your State Transformational Coach. www.raiseyourstate.com

REGINA CATES Regina Victoria Cates, a spiritual/ personal empowerment coach, transformational author and positivity junkie. romancingyoursoul.com

DAVE FRESILLI Holistic Health Practitioner, CHEK Institute Certified Holistic Lifestyle Coach and Practitioner. holistichealth-fitness.com

JORDAN GARY Inspirational Speaker, Author of “The Seventh Major Understanding– A Message of Awakening” 7thmajorunderstanding.com

CINDY HIVELY An Awakened Living Mentor,.

facebook.com/AwakeningToLifeYourTruestEssence

GREG KUHN Author Greg Kuhn, Professional educator and a futurist, specializing in framing new paradigms for 21st Century living. “The Law of Attraction Science Guy.” Author of the ”Why Quantum Physicists” series. whyquantumphysicists.com

DEBBIE LYNN Ballet Dancer, Artist, Writer and Creator of “360 degrees project (full circle)” facebook.com/360degreesofinspiration

FUZZY MANNING Fuzzy Manning is a HeartCentered Intuitive, radio show host, author, entrepreneur and speaker. fuzzymanning.com

SUZY MANNING Suzy Manning CEO of Suzy Manning LLC. Insightful mentor, an inspirational speaker, thought-provoking author, and savvy radio show host. www.suzymanning.com

KATRINA MAYER PhD. Creator of Wholarian Vision, Motivational Speaker, Author, Wellness & Longevity Advocate. katrinamayer.com

CHERYL HUNTER Bestselling Author of ”Use it! Turn Setbacks into Success.” Speaker, Transformational Coach and ”The Resilience Expert.” successmasterycoaching.com

LINDA P. JONES Founder of the Global Institute of Wealth for Women™, Linda empowers women to start a business, grow more wealth, and make a positive impact in the world. www.lindapjones.com

THELMA PUTZEL Paul S. Boynton is an awardwinning human services CEO who has been recognized beginwithyes.com

JON SATIN & CHRIS PATTAY THE POSSIBILITY COACHES Life and Relationship Coaches, Business Consultants, Emotional Healers, Seminar Facilitators, Authors and Entrepreneurs. possibilitycoaches.com

DEANNA RADAJ

JANET D. THOMAS Janet D. Thomas is an engaging writer and captivating speaker whose words inspire and motivate, energizing transformation in those who experience her.

Integrative Lifestyle ”Eco-Shui” designer, writer & consultant

www.deannaradaj.com

www.janetdthomas.com

MARILYN HOUGH, LMFT & CHUCK SCHMITT, LMFT

JOSH UBALDI Personal and business coach, professionally trained actor and author of ”The Successful Actors Guide to Los Angeles.”

The Relationship Specialists, Marilyn Hough and Chuck Schmitt, are inspirational teachers who share their knowledge to inspire others to live their best life relationshipspecialists.com

successmasterycoaching.com

SHANN VANDER LEEK Empath, Healer & Teacher. DJ helps people shift into their body and feel the truth of their connection to self and guide them on the journey .

DEB SCOTT Deb Scott, BA, CPC is four time Award Winning Author in SelfHelp, Motivation, Deb is an Award Winning Radio Host for Best Podcaster, & Top Rated Radio Host of The Best People We Know Show on Blog Talk Radio.

greenskyandbluegrass.com

djfullerempath.com

ELLEN WHITEHURST International inspirational expert and bestselling author. Ellen Whitehurst is a magazine columnist, speaker and coach

DON SHAPIRO Speaker, management consultant and co-author of “The Character-Based Leader.” Currently writing a book, “Life Is a Fork in the Road,” about how to make better choices and follow our inner wisdom to navigate our journey through life.

www.ellenwhitehurst.com

TERI WILLIAMS Teri Williams “Soul-cial Connector”, Visionary at SoulcialMedia.com and The Bliss Network. Host of Soulful Living at Empower Radio and shares her energy healing techniques as a Shamanic Reiki Practitioner.

www.donshapiro.com

KATHY STOVER CEO Kathy Stover.com, on-line Social Media and Marketing stradegist. kathystover.com

ROCHELLE SOETAN Rochelle Soetan is a veteran of the literary arts, catalyst for change, and the Author and Publisher of Tuesday Morning Love. tuesdaymorningove.com

TeriGriffinWilliams.com

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