September 2013
How To Love You! pg. 36
Accepting What Is
Healing Through Trauma pg. 68
pg. 10
LEARN HOW TO
EMBRACE CHANGE
Contents
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BECOMING EMPOWERED - 10 GUIDEPOSTS TO LIVE BY Jon Satin & Chris Pattay, The Possibility Coaches
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CHANGE BEGINS BY ACCEPTING WHAT IS Regina Cates
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YOU’RE SO FULL OF IT Ellen Whitehurst
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MIRROR MIRROR Jordan Gray
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DON’T BE AFRAID OF CHANGE Deb Scott
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EMBRACING CHANGE IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP Marilyn Hough & Chuck Schmitt, The Relationship Specialists
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CHANGE BRINGS OPPORTUNITY Teri Williams
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BEGIN WITH YES IN THE WORKPLACE Paul Boynton
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HOW TO EMBRACE CHANGE Cindy Harpe Hively
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THINK ABOUT YOUR LIFE Debbie Bongiovanni
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SOUL LEVEL WEALTH - BEING SPIRITUAL AND WEALTHY Linda P. Jones
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44 AND COUNTING DJ Spivak-Fuller
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GRACEFULLY NAVIGATING THE CYCLES OF LIFE Carol Finlayson
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HOW TO LOVE YOU Suzy Manning
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CHANGE YOUR CHOICES & CHANGE YOUR LIFE Don Shapiro
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HOW HOLLYWOOD TEACHES YOU TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE Greg Kuhn
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EMBRACE LIFE WITH A BEGINNER’S MIND Shann Vander Leek
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WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU FINALLY SEE THE LIGHT
Contents
Debbie Lynn
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THE PRICE OF HIGH ACHIEVEMENT - NOT AS HIGH AS YOU THINK! Liz Kearns
54
THE ART OF LIVING A CO-CREATIVE LIFE Dr.Julie Krull
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DISAPPOINTMENT - COMING INTO THE LIGHT Josh Ubaldi
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A LESSON ABOUT FEAR AND GUIDANCE Sandi Schwartz
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ONE SIZE DOES NOT FIT ALL Dave Fresilli
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HEALING THROUGH THE LIFESPAN OF TRAUMA Janet D Thomas
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WHAT IS YOUR ROLE
58
Robbie Adkins
72
SOLUTIONS TO RESOLVE STRESS Fuzzy Manning
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TAKING THE FIRST STEP Rochelle Soetan
IN EVERY ISSUE 04
WELCOME
05
IN THIS ISSUE
12
REFLECTIONS
17
INSPIRATIONAL POSTER Katrina Mayer
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BOOK REVIEW - LEMONS, LEMONADE & LIFE Book by Janet D Thomas
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VIDEO - HOW TO COMMUNICATE WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE Cheryl Hunter
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CHERYL’S RECOMMENDED RESOURCES
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CONTRIBUTORS INDEX
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Welcome
D
oes anyone know what happened to this year? It seems like the first issue of Simple Steps Real Change Magazine was just published yesterday. We started in the spring and now it’s fall and before long we’ll be working on 2014! I have always been fascinated by the cycles in life. Whether it is the trees that bloom and then lose their leaves in the fall... or the person riding high in life experiencing a total reversal of fortune. These are all variations of energy that either create balance or are the great leveling experiences in life. Both have value. The question is are we embracing the changes or fearing them? Do we look forward to our “golden” years or dread getting older? Can we leap head first into the unknown, excited about the possibilities, or do we look for somewhere to lay low and hope that everything will stay the same? As you discover what lies ahead for you, whether by season or life’s experience, remember always that it is only a moment in time. There will always be another moment, another cycle in life, another adventure to grab on to. Whatever you choose to do... do what speaks to your heart and soul Because there will never be another moment just like this one. With love, Cheryl
In This Issue Are you dealing with a reversal of fortune, the end or beginning of a relationship, or perhaps you’ve discovered what you used to love you don’t anymore? Cycles are part of life. Just as the seasons change, so do our lives. This month’s inspirational leaders are sharing with you their varied perspectives and thoughts on how to navigate the waters of change. Dive in and check out the wisdom in this issue including:
CHERYL MALONEY EDITOR •
Change Begins Accepting What
Is
By
SIMPLE STEPS REAL CHANGE · Sept. 2013 PUBLISHER & EDITOR Cheryl L. Maloney GRAPHIC DESIGN Jack Maloney
Copyright :
Nothing within this publication dispenses medical advice or prescribes the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional or medical problems. It is at the sole discretion of the reader to seek the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the magazine is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself, which is your constitutional right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.
Don’t Be Afraid of Change - Be Very Afraid of Staying the Same by Deb Scott.
General Information :
Embrace change, as it provides hope and the ability to make good things happen. •
About :
All material appearing in Simple Steps Real Change Magazine is copyright unless otherwise stated or it may rest with the provider of the supplied material. Simple Steps Real Change Magazine takes all care to ensure information is correct at time of publishing, but the publisher accepts no responsibility or liability for the accuracy of any information contained in the text or advertisements. Views expressed are not necessarily endorsed by the publisher or editor.
by Regina Cates. If you’ve been wasting time wishing life was different, discover how you can accept what is in order to create what you want. •
General Inquiries P.O. Box 954 Camas, WA. 98607 PHONE 503 830-0587 EMAIL simplesteps@icloud.com WEBSITE www.simplestepsrealchangemagazine.com
“Begin With Yes” in the Workplace
by Paul Boynton teaches you how to motivate a “problem” employee. •
How to Love You by Suzy Manning empowers you to embrace the uniqueness of who you are and who you are becoming.
For advertising and sponsorship opportunities contact Kathy Stover at kathy@kathystover.com
Show your employees you care. Give them Simple Steps Real Change Magazine. For more information contact Cheryl Maloney at cheryl@ simplestepsrealchange.com Nancy Luscombe - Copy Editor Josh Ubaldi - Vocal Promotions
Miss the last Issue? See it HERE
• Disappointment - Coming Into the Light by Josh Ubaldi enables you to move past the worry and fear when life doesn’t turn your way. Whether you’re trying to break the cycle of dieting, heal from a lifetime of trauma, or decide the life costs of pursuing your dream, our friends and contributors to this issue have you covered. Take this Simple Step for you ... Read on!
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Y
ou are powerful! You can never lose your power! You can, however, convince yourself that you are powerless and that your happiness and peace reside elsewhere. Empowerment is a process of awakening to and reclaiming your true self. It is about living from your natural state of being. The main characteristic of this state is peace. Simply put, “Your power is in your peace.� We are going to share with you 10 guideposts that serve as a checklist of requirements to become empowered. There is no specific order for which to apply them. In fact, they can be used together, simultaneously or separately, or one at a time.
Becoming Empowered Jon Satin & Chris Pattay Possibility Coaches
10 GUIDEPOSTS TO LIVE BY 6
September 2013
Simple Steps Real Change Magazine
#3: Responsibility To become empowered, it is essential that you know exactly who and what you are responsible for in your life. When you do not know this parameter, you are likely to live life as a guilt-ridden victim of circumstances. First and foremost, take responsibility for your own life, and you will begin to feel more empowered.
Empowerment is a process of awakening to and reclaiming your true self.
#1: Recognition Recognition is about seeing the “who, what, when and where� you give your power away to. You may give it to other people, to situations and experiences. It means you are giving external factors permission to control your emotional well-being. Recognition is also about seeing the talents and gifts you possess. If you are waiting for the world to recognize you, you may be waiting a very long time. You possess within you unique qualities and attributes that can guide you to feel empowered. Recognize them now! #2: Awareness Awareness is similar to recognition, yet it goes a little deeper. Awareness is the acknowledgment that you do disengage and disconnect from the power within you. It is also about defining why you disempower yourself in the first place. Most important, awareness is about knowing that you have the choice to take your power back at any time.
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#4: Releasing the Past Empowerment can only happen in the present moment or ‘now.’ When you hold grudges, criticize, judge and have a long list of regrets, you can never be at peace. Be open to letting go and forgiving. #5: Releasing Worry You can plan for the future; however, you must be open to giving up attempting to control it. Life, and what tomorrow brings you, is and always will be a mystery. Surrender to what is ‘now.’ Life requires risk-taking. #6: Trust Trust is the cornerstone for being a decision maker. Make choices and stand by them. If you do not like the results, make different choices. Trust is about having faith in the process. When you trust, you become grounded and authentic.
kindness, you will never live in alignment with your truth. If you treat yourself like a secondclass citizen, how could you ever expect anyone else to treat you differently? Putting you first does not include doing so at the expense of others. It is about leading by example and doing what makes your heart sing.
#7: Cultivate a New Mindset
#10: Forgiveness
Observe your current dominant thoughts, beliefs and habits. Do they serve you in a positive manner, or do they keep you stuck? Cultivating a new mindset is about acknowledging that you can control your mind and that it does not have to be the other way around.
Without real forgiveness, real peace remains elusive. Real forgiveness is about forgiving others and yourself. Each of the first nine guideposts must contain a component of real forgiveness to activate the state of empowerment. That is why we call them guideposts and why they can be practiced simultaneously or in any order you choose.
#8: Share Your Greatness The process of Life goes beyond giving and receiving. It is all about sharing. If you are withholding your gifts and talents from the world, you are preventing yourself from experiencing inner peace. Greatness is an active state that requires expression. Share your greatness! #9: Live in Alignment with Truth If you don’t treat yourself with love and
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You deserve an empowered life! Remember, empowerment is about knowing you never lost or could lose your power. You may have simply convinced yourself that you are powerless and the source of your happiness and peace resides outside of you. Commit to following at least one guidepost a day for the next ten days. Keep repeating the cycle in ten-day intervals. Watch the changes in your life. More important, observe the changes in YOU!
HOW TO COMMUNICATE WITH
Cheryl
A Video by
Hunter
Click to watch the Video
DIFFICULT PEOPLE
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Change Begins By Accepting What Is Regina Case
how much I wanted the drinking to stop, it did not. No matter how much I prayed for follow-through on the promise to seek help, there was none. I chose to believe what was promised, rather than accepting the repeated actions as proof of what was actually true. The result is that I stayed in the abusive relationship far too long.
A
fter two months at a job selling advertising for a small, family-owned newspaper, I was fired. There was no warning. There was no indication my performance was less than acceptable. In fact, I had received praise for increasing ad revenue. It did not make sense that I was abruptly terminated. Regardless of how much I wanted to identify the reason, no one in the company returned my calls. I became angry and depressed. Without accepting the reality that sometimes things happen with no logical explanation, I was stuck, unable to move on. For the next few months I did little to find a new job. Many years ago I dated an alcoholic. I did not recognize the condition in the beginning, but over time it became clear as the incidents of intoxication began to add up. After each occurrence there was an apology, a request for forgiveness, and a promise it would not happen again. No matter
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A family I am acquainted with lost a child to a tragic accident. Before the accident, the father was a pillar of strength. He was also kind, compassionate and had a positive outlook on life. That changed. Over the next few years he sank deeper into depression, clinging to what he thought should, would or could have been. Blame was cast, lawsuits were filed and a focus on revenge erased the memories of his once joyful life. Without the ability to forgive and deal with the tragedy, he was
is” reality in the present. This same formula works with whatever situations life throws at us. Traffic jams and other delays are a frequent part of life. We do not receive the job we badly want and need. We realize we are in relationship with an abuser. We become conscious we are the one with a problem. The people and pets we love are sometimes taken away from us through illnesses or tragic accidents. Relationships end. Our affection for another is not reciprocated. We slip and break an ankle. Our car is damaged by a hit-and-run driver. We lose our wallet or keys, or our purse is stolen. Our luggage becomes lost, or our flight is delayed or cancelled. We are diagnosed with cancer. Our parents become ill or their behavior radically changes. Someone is rude to us.
not able to be thankful for the joy life still held for him. He died a frail and bitter man unable to move on. How much precious time do we waste wanting other people or situations to be different from how they are? Positive change begins by honestly looking at how unreasonable it is to suffer under the false impression that we have the power to control or manipulate other people or the negative, frustrating, inconvenient or heartbreaking situations we encounter in life. Maybe someone leaves us for another or just ends the relationship. We have two choices. We can be angry, dwelling on what we think should be, but isn’t. Or we can mend our heart by learning from the experience, feeling our sadness and picking ourselves up to move on. We choose to exchange a fantasy of the past and what “should be” for the opportunity to create a better “what
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No amount of anger, yelling, worry or desire for revenge changes what is real in the moment at hand. Only by accepting the present circumstance for what it is, rather than what we think it should, would or could be, do we help ease the stress and upset that comes from the misconception that we can control or change people and the uncontrollable and unchangeable situations of life. When something happens in life that upsets your plans, take a deep breath. Slow down. Count to five. Relax into the truth that only by accepting what is real in the present can you take the necessary action to leave an abusive relationship. Or rebound from losing a job. Or seek help for an addiction. Or deal with an illness. Or appropriately honor the memory of a loved one. Change begins when you accept what is, so you can begin to create what you want to be.
Cheryl Maloney
P
eople, attitudes, and circumstances ... they come and go in our lives. They change; we change. In our deepest sorrows, life around us goes on. In our highest highs, we soar and sometimes fall back down ... but life goes on. Regardless of the experience we are having, it is only a moment in time that we travel through. We’re not stuck in it, nor are we defined by it. Our soul transcends the illusion of time and space. And there is no end. There is a cycle. The cycle is one of physical life. Each night I say a prayer ... an adaptation of one I learned as a child. “Now I lay me down to sleep. I pray to god my soul to keep. If I shall die before I wake ... I know my soul is always safe.” Regardless of the experience you may be having ... your soul is always safe. When you come to realize that, you find peace.
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YOU’RE SO FULL OF IT With Ellen Whitehurst
Q
Q&A
If you could impart one piece of knowledge on the world, what would it be and why?
A
I get asked this particular question A LOT! I suppose it’s because we live in a sound-bite culture now, and people like things packaged so that they’re not only powerfully effective but can be accomplished with ease and enthusiasm too. So, I’ll try to make this short but really sweet! The single most important piece of knowledge that I can impart on the world now is one that we have seen woven throughout every life empowering tradition since the dawn of time, and it’s this: You ALREADY have everything you could possibly need in your entire life - all the answers, all the power - sitting right inside of you. We have forgotten that we are connected to Divinity and that tapping that power and possibility is our birthright. There are many different pathways to tapping that power within as well. Of course, since it IS me, I believe that using your outer environment to consciously and intentionally release the power and the potential
housed in your inner one (Feng Shui!) will allow you to increase that same power, potential and possibility. But using other age old techniques such as meditation or mantra, yoga or sacred sound, to name just a few, will also unleash the power within. And here’s a bonus tip: if there is something you feel is missing in your life at this very moment, you can activate some truly important energies that will then attract rewarding results, if they are in your highest good and interest. The first is to create, with clarity, your intention. And, then, be in a constant state of gratitude, acting and FEELING as if you have already attained what you are wishing for. Connecting emotion to intention is the secret sauce of manifestation. And that brings us full circle to underscoring the message that everything you need is already inside you. You just need to know some of the action steps to take to harness and use that power to your highest advantage while also positively impacting and influencing the world around you too.
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MIRROR Jordan Gray
A
ll that I see in this world is a reflection of who I am. This concept is growing in acceptance throughout the new-thought community. Joshua, the source of the Seventh Major Understanding, shares this belief. He teaches that everything, without exception, that appears “out there” is a reflection of our inner being. Joshua resolutely asserts that there is only one being here. He urges me to look “out there” as if I am looking in a mirror, and he persistently challenges me to be honest about my reflection. I confess that some things I see in the mirror of life are not pleasant or appealing. It is hard to accept that conditions I find sorrowful and behaviors I find repugnant are a reflection of who I am. The urge to deny some of what I see as a part of my being is strong. I want to assign the face of shadow to others—not me. It’s easy to own the gentle, loving and beautiful reflections of my soul. Like many others, I resist accepting that I am less than peaceful, joyful, loving and kind. Joshua reminds me it is time to transcend our habits of separation. Now is the time to accept that I’m responsible for ALL that I see “out there.”
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I shall not look blindly in the mirror any longer. Joshua offers comfort by telling me that many things I see in the mirror are exaggerated. I am not as ugly or as gorgeous as I judge myself to be. He assures me that I have the power here and now to change ALL that I see; yet, I only have this power to change when I accept that IT IS ME. I only have the power to change myself. Moreover, he reminds me to be playful in my creation and to have fun. Taking this reality too seriously is erroneous in his view, and the imagined burden becomes stressful and overwhelming. To keep my adventure of growth playful and within my scope, all I must do is be the change I wish
to see. As I change, the world changes. It is that simple, and I am that powerful. When I remember that the only thing I must change is me, stress floats away with the tide. For example, if I want to influence change regarding global peace, I vow to resolve internal conflict without applying force, coercion, abuse, intimidation and so forth. These internal practices are exaggerated on the global stage and acted out by nations as terrorism and war. When I master peaceful conflict resolution internally, I may expand this practice to my family and my community. It all begins with me.
When I remember that the only thing I must change is me, stress floats away with the tide.
Consider this insightful story: The following words were inscribed on the tomb of an Anglican Bishop Simple Steps Real Change Magazine
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in Westminster Abbey approximately 1100 AD. “When I was young and free and my imagination had no limits, I dreamed of changing the world. As I grew older and wiser, I discovered the world would not change, so I shortened my sights somewhat and decided to change only my country. But it, too, seemed immovable. As I grew into my twilight years, in one last desperate attempt, I settled for changing only my family, those closest to me, but alas, they would have none of it. And now, as I lie on my deathbed, I suddenly realize: If I had only changed myself first, then by example I would have changed my family. From their inspiration and encouragement, I would have been able to better my country, and who knows, I may have even changed the world. “ I offer one example of how I may be the change I wish to see in the world. The first step requires removing my blinders when I look in the mirror. I need to courageously accept that all that I see in
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my world exists to some degree within me. I grow beyond the practice of blaming the mess I see “out there” on others. There is only one being here. Considering all of Joshua’s teachings, I arrive at this intention of growth: I look in the mirror of my reality without denial and fear. I am wholly unafraid of my entire reflection. All events and my relationships are a mirror of my thoughts, beliefs and expectations. No part of my reflection is good or bad. The judgment I apply to others is truly a reflection of who I am. The way I judge you defines me—not you. When this is forgotten, I fall asleep and believe that we are separate from each other. I appreciate you for being the mirror so I may look deeply into my soul. I gladly hold the mirror for you, too. I thank you for the reflection of my being so I may see my hidden beauty and my denied shadow. I play my way into a new reflection of ALL that I am.
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Don’t Be Afraid Of Change Deb Scott
ften o t i s i Why ficult to so dif ? change
Why d o feel like c es it is a dir hange t letter wo y sixrd?
I
f you’re like me, changing habits does not come naturally after years of repetitive recycling. I know I want to make changes on an intellectual level, but putting those changes into action requires deliberate resistance in my mind, body and spirit.
Why is change frequently by followed fear?
Finally, visualize how you feel when you see this problem solved. Write down how you feel when this IS changed into your best case scenario. Do you feel free, exhilarated, trapped or excited? Write this down here:
How can I make good change happen easily? First, consider what you want to change. Is it a belief about yourself, a career, where you live or a relationship? Exactly what do you want to change? Write this here:
The facts speak for themselves. Have you proved to yourself with this simple exercise that you are more afraid of staying the same than you are of creating change?
Now, identify how you feel if you DON’T change what you just wrote down. Do you feel happy, suffocated, anxious or peaceful? Write down how you feel about NOT changing::
Consider your desire to change is already the first necessary step in making it happen. Consider the most difficult task is letting go of the illusion of safety and security by staying the same. Consider the idea that if you correctly change your environment, you will automatically change your feelings, thoughts and behavior into what you most desire and deserve.
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Reflect on your entire life and recall how many times you have told yourself, “I wish I had done this sooner.” Or, “That was so much easier than I thought it would be.” Or, “Why did I ever think that person or job was so important?” Change is good. Change is an opportunity to keep hope alive and to create something new which is better than what you experienced before. The key to getting excited about making good change happen is realizing the events of the past are necessary building blocks to step into your greatness. It’s about progress, not perfection. You are who you associate with, so be sure to associate with people who already have what you want. If you want to change into a healthy relationship, get around people who already have healthy relationships. If you want good self-esteem, hang out with people who already have a healthy self-esteem. Just like a fragrant perfume which easily spreads its aroma to those who are near, you will easily assimilate the good change you want from being around people who already exhibit the results you seek. Change is the most natural process about being alive. If you’re not changing: you’re dead. Embrace the gift of change as an opportunity to unwrap the gift of you.
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EMBRACING CHANGE in your relationship Marilyn Hough & Chuck Schmidt The Relationship Specialists
A
s relationship counselors, we see numerous couples who want to change and grow but simply do not know where to start. This is thrilling for us because we know how good it can get when people are willing to give up their comfort zone to soar into the unknown. We are currently working with one such couple. They came in with the desire to have better communication and feel more connected. They felt blocked in their ability to express feelings and share the intimacy that results from these deeper levels of connection. Having been in previous relationships that were not satisfying, they felt that it was worth the effort to do whatever it would take to make this one successful. After a few weeks of learning new skills, they spent an entire weekend exploring their feelings, assisting one another to go deeper and deeper into their emotions. They did this by creating a safe space for this conversation and learning to listen without
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judgement. They actually spent time at the local bookstore looking for materials that would peak their interests and spark discussions. Both came into therapy this week glowing, absolutely thrilled with all that they had accomplished. They felt connected in a way they didn’t know was possible. This kind of connection and growth is possible when we are willing to face change instead of running from it. So often people have the desire for more … they want to feel more love, more acceptance or more respect. They are bored with life or think someone else might be able to bring out the passion they feel is missing. The truth is, we each
hold the key to the depths our relationships can travel. If we are not willing to explore ourselves … to share who we are, how we feel and what we want … nothing can change. We each view change differently. For some, the thought of change sends shivers of fear down the spine. You like the status quo and are quite comfortable with things remaining exactly the way they are, regardless of whether or not they make you happy. For others, the thought of change lights you up with a sense of excitement and adventure. Relationships
can
only
grow
through
The only thing that is constant is change. Heraclitus
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change. Interestingly, it is not change itself that people fear, it is the uncertainty associated with change, especially if they feel like the relationship itself is in jeopardy.
the best that it can be. You each become willing to go to a risky and scary place in yourself with the hope that what is on the other side is so much better. You want to stretch yourself and each other. There is a recognition that you have chosen How can you begin to view change as an adventure to experience this life together and want to see instead of something to be feared? Here are how juicy and successful you can make it. some skills to help deal with change: Are you interested in seeing how far your 1. Recognize and agree that you are on the same relationship can soar? Challenge yourself to come team, working together for a better relationship. up with one small step you could take to embrace You are not trying to fix anything, just enhance change in your life. Take that step today. Once you what you already have. Acknowledge that there is see the results it will be hard to go back. some fear involved in this process. 2. Talk about what each of you want to explore in the relationship. What do you want more of? What would make you happier together? What’s one thing you’ve always wanted to do but have never done? Share it with your partner. If you both agree, do it together. 3. Create safety for the expression of deeper feelings by listening, encouraging and having good eye contact. If you get stuck, just repeat back to your partner what you heard him say. This is not the time for interrogation. Be open. Be accepting. 4. Make it fun. Agree to keep it light. Create a sense of adventure. You might consider getting a book of 1000 relationship questions from your local bookstore and see where it takes you. You might be pleasantly surprised. 5. If you feel stuck ... or you try these ideas and it doesn’t go well ... step back, take a deep breath, and have patience with yourself and each other. This is a new skill and will take time to perfect. Perhaps start with an easier goal, like finding an activity you might enjoy doing together ... hiking, biking, kayaking, painting, photography or dancing. Let that be your first step to trying something new and growing together. This kind of work is best undertaken with two loving partners who want the relationship to be
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CHANGE BRINGS
OPPORTUNITY
8 WAYS TO EMBRACE CHANGE
Teri Griffin Williams
Y
es! Change brings opportunity. My husband, who has lived in over 50 houses in his 51 years of age, says that to me on a regular basis. It’s one of the reasons we get along so well; we are committed to embracing change instead of fighting it. When we are deep in the middle of change, sometimes we can’t see where the opportunity lies. The process may seem daunting and fearful. How can we stay open to change instead of fighting against it? My story is not unlike many of yours. I’ve had my share of tragedy and triumph, of ups and downs, of loss and heartache. Sometimes I’ve seen deep despair. By practicing the suggestions above and much more, I’ve learned to embrace the moment and not let fear or sorrow stop me in my tracks. As REO Speedwagon suggests, I’m learning to roll with the changes! “Oh, you got to learn to roll with the changes (got to, got to, got to, got to...) Keep on rollin’ (got to keep on) Keep on rollin’ Oh, you got to learn to, got to learn to, got to learn to roll”
•
Take baby steps. Make small changes. Break big changes into small steps. For example: if you are moving, plan ahead by packing early in 30 minute segments – start in one area and pack for 30 minutes. Making slight progress makes you feel much better.
•
Stay flexible and go with the flow. Be like the tide. Sometimes it’s high, sometimes it’s low but it’s always flowing.
•
Adapt a Pollyanna attitude. Find the good in the moment. A break up leaves you available to find your perfect match or get that dog you always wanted.
•
This too shall pass. Change happens which means things may make you feel overly stressed. Remember a time in your life that was extremely hectic and have faith that you will eventually get through to the next moment; you will adapt to this new change.
•
You are not alone. You don’t have to cope with change on your own. Reach out to friends, family or colleagues for support or keep a journal to share your feelings for strength and relief
•
Take time to adjust. Give yourself time to accept the change that is happening in your life.
•
Be Prepared. Don’t let unexpected surprises rock you. Stress and change are a part of life. The better equipped you are to maneuver through them, the less likely they will through you off kilter.
•
Change brings opportunity. Henry Ford said, “If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got.” Sometimes change and a little stress can open our eyes to new ideas, new opportunities and new ways of living our lives. Be open to the possibilities.
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Q
One of my coworkers is starting to impact the morale in our office, and the boss doesn’t see it (or doesn’t want to see it). What can I do? I am afraid people are going to quit because of this person. I don’t want to be seen as a “tattletale,” but it’s really getting bad.
A
Bold. I have always admired people who simply, calmly and kindly acknowledge the elephant in the living room. We often make simple things oh so complex. One time when I was involved in a simple professional struggle at work, and the “tattle tale” issue was on my mind, a good friend asked me a “cut to the chase” question. “What is this, Junior High School?” This was my cue that I was not focused on the right thing. I let the “tattle tale”
Q&A
“BEGIN W Paul Boynton
Q A
Can a “Begin with Yes” approach help motivate a “problem” employee?
One of the underlying requirements of a “Begin with Yes” approach is a willingness to shift your perspective. In this case, the shift might be from motivating a resisting employee to clarifying what’s really going on and then seeking a collaborative solution. Before thinking about motivating or coaching a problem employee, I always try to ask a few clarifying questions. For example: “Why is John always argumentative with his coworkers?” or “Why is Mary always turning in her work
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issue go. Telling the truth to people who need to hear it is the way to address this problem raised by your question. If the truth is presented from a “good place” in an appropriate, honest, respectful way, your leadership skills will be appreciated and noted. Practice with a friend or colleague and then set up a meeting with your boss. You can’t control how the message is received, but you can be optimistic, straightforward and clear about the delivery. And when you do, you give your boss a chance to be a leader too. Let me know how you do with this. My guess is you’ll be surprised by how easy and effective this approach is.
WITH YES” IN THE WORKPLACE
assignments late?” And sometimes, more and more often, I simply go to John, or Mary, and ask these questions directly. This honest approach, especially when done directly and respectfully, can be surprising, and the answers very often revealing and helpful. Once you have an answer, the immediate and important follow-up question is: “How could we get past that, John?” When we understand what’s really going on and then engage the employee in seeking solutions, we save lots of time, usually while maintaining everyone’s self esteem, and almost always leading to better results.
Remember that planning or trying to motivate a problem employee without fully understanding the problem is not likely to work. I am not suggesting psychotherapy, or a prolonged “talk” strategy, but I do know that taking a few minutes to find out what’s really going will pay big dividends and make any plan to motivate more successful. In the end, it’s not so much about motivating, it’s more about understanding the real problem. Once the problem is clear, developing a solution with the employee will increase your chance of success dramatically. Once a plan is put into place, monitor, offer feedback and encouragement, and expect the best.
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HOW TO EMBR Cindy Harpe Hively
T
he idea of Embracing Change comes into our lives many times. The question is, do we embrace those changes or do we hide from them? Change usually comes swiftly, and when it is difficult, how truly prepared are we? We seem to embrace good change with happiness and gratitude; difficult change makes us want to hide under the covers. I have witnessed and experienced both, just as you have. Job loss, losing a loved one, illness, break-ups, family and friend situations can leave us feeling stuck and keep us from living the life we desire and deserve. The most significant life-altering change I have ever experienced happened to me four years ago at this exact time. It was a hot September day when I was told by my doctor that I needed to permanently quit my job due to the seriousness of being diagnosed with Lupus and several other chronic illnesses. As if I had left my body and was watching myself from across the room, I could feel the life being sucked out of me. A few minutes passed before I was able to gather myself together in one piece again. My husband was asking me questions, and I was just sitting there with tears rolling down my cheeks in a daze. Five months later when I, in a profound truth, accepted the fact that nothing lasts forever and change is part of life, I became better equipped for the journey. Struggle occurs when we resist reality. So the best way to end the struggle is to embrace the impermanence of life. Enjoy the good, and remember that the not-so-good times are just temporary. The light will appear at the end of the tunnel. It is bound to happen, you just need simple practices that bring you home to your truest self.
1
Don’t do anything, just sit still and be silent. If you’re facing a massive rescaling of your life, your first impulse will be to go into a whirring spin of activity and mind chaos, which is exactly what I did right after I was diagnosed. I later discovered there’s a lot of value in sitting quietly and being with yourself in thought instead. You need to allow yourself periods of silence to find clarity and resolve.
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1
2
2 3 4 5
RACE CHANGE 3
Listen to your wise heart. When others know we are going through a change, it seems they become experts on what we need to do. Advice comes: what we should do, what we shouldn’t do. It can be frustrating. I am not saying we don’t need support from others, we do ... what I am saying is to listen to your inner voice and listen from your heart. Your heart guides you. You become very intuitive. You gain more confidence to question what is best. You learn to begin over exactly where you are. Learn to live with uncertainty. Allowing life to unfold in the present will keep you from worrying over questions and solutions that may never even evolve. This is also a great way to add creativity and newness to your life. You might feel anxious, but that does not signal that you’re doing something wrong, only that you’re trying something new. When used as a tool, uncertainty opens so many possibilities we never even knew existed.
4
5
Shed your old skin. Discard physical clutter, tired ideas, old routines. Seek out a coach or mentor … seeing things through another’s eyes can help. This is one of the most helpful practices I embraced. I learned practices that still serve me well today. I continue to cultivate practices I learned over three years ago (mindfulness, meditation, breath practice, daily ritual and so many more).
Ignore your inner reptile. There’s a part of the human mind that is often referred to as the “lizard brain” because it existed in the earliest land animals. The lizard brain is concerned with survival; it likes the tried and true, so it’s likely to pipe up at any time flooding you with adrenaline warnings of “Danger!” This was a handy function to have when deviating from the familiar path to the watering hole. But in the modern world, it’s based within our ego, and it emerges when we feel fearful of things that are out of our control or when we pay attention to mind sets that have no thought or reasoning. It is our flight or fight instinct. Learn to ignore these thoughts, or talk to them and watch them go ... pouf!
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Think About Your Life Debbie Bongiovanni
6
6
Learn self-care, self-compassion, self-love. This is another one of my favorite practices, maybe indeed my favorite. Start learning how to become your own best friend, and be gentle with yourself. When familiar routines suddenly change, it can seem as if all your ideals are gone. For a while after I lost my health, I had the sense that I was in a free fall. I lost my identities that were so inner twined. While absorbing the shock of the new, it’s crucial to make yourself feel well taken care of. Put yourself first, not in a selfish way, but in a self-full way. The ability to go from resisting change to embracing change can happen. It may not happen overnight, but that is okay. You are the only one who can make the choice to resist or embrace change. The next time you are faced with an experience which causes your reality to change, take a deep breath and take a step back. It is okay to be concerned or frustrated, you are human after all. Once the emotions have calmed down, just remember … we are all works in progress.
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You need to think about your life, Think about the road to be taken, Think about everything you want to do, And make sure you’re not mistaken. If you are not sure of the way to go, Talk to God and he will guide you, You will see that he is right, And you will be happy too. He has all of the answers, And he has all of the plans, Just relax and let it happen, And put it in his hands. You will see a big difference, Your life will change for the best, And you can thank that man above, And know you are very blessed.
SOUL LEVEL WEALTH Being Spiritual and Wealthy Linda P. Jones
differ. I’ve noticed the blessings that come to those who are increasing consciousness on the planet - those who are obedient to their life’s contract. Using your natural gifts to make a contribution is a way to have more money flow to you.
S
oul level wealth is about being spiritual and wealthy. It’s about living your life’s purpose and using your personal currency to experience joy and make a difference. There’s a circular effect when you are making a living using your personal currency - your gifts and talents that starts a ripple effect and makes an impact and makes money flow back to you. When you use your gifts, it creates money that can flow to you and help others. When you ignore this and work just for money, it often backfires. Soul level wealth isn’t about the money, it’s about the WHY behind the money, and it’s about what you can do with money to make a difference and improve the planet. I’ve run across people who are spiritual and believe that you can’t be spiritual and have money. That money somehow taints you or makes you less spiritual or questions your motives. I beg to
It’s not about loving money, it’s about using it as a tool to do good works. Being a giver allows you to help others and enjoy what life has to offer. Do you know how much good you can do by simply making small micro loans to villagers internationally or contributing to a school in Africa? Giving food to a food bank or to the homeless? All of us can do these things, and if we have more money, we can make an even bigger difference. I also believe giving back and using money for enjoyable experiences, for example, vacations, concerts, and socializing, are more important than having “things.” Spending time with friends and loved ones can be one of the most meaningful and best uses of money. Decide, expect, and prepare for money to flow to you. Repelling it because you are spiritual doesn’t do anyone any good. To exclude the abundance that wants to come to you is to reject part of the gift of life you’ve been given. Consider everything possible. Consider everything affordable. Don’t screen out looking at anything because it’s “too expensive.” By doing so you are rejecting some of what life wants to give you. You are worthy and deserving of wealth and will receive more if you stop deflecting it and rejecting it. Open your awareness to the abundance around you and begin to receive the money that wants to flow to you.
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44 AND COUNTING
MOTHER, SISTER, DAUGHTER, FRIEND, WIFE ...
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DJ Spivak-Fuller
M
couldn’t wait to be a “teenager.” Or even better, remember turning 16 and feeling so grown up? This birthday is another memory to enjoy!
ost of us go through life shifting and transforming, without even a second thought.
How did I get here? Remember yesterday? Getting ready for the first day of Junior High School? What a scary day that was! Unsure of what the ninth graders would think … before you know it you’ve got the locker number memorized and a crush on the kid two seats back in home room, “sock hops” and “icees” from 7/11, late nights watching Kung Fu movies. The task before me was to write about life cycles. Each time I tried I was overwhelmed by how many and how often they hit, a new cycle that is. I couldn’t choose just one. None outweighed the other. They all have equal value, and when we are in the middle of one, it is most powerful. For so many of us, life changes every day with work, friendships, marriage and dating. It’s hard to know where to begin. I have read lots of “how to’s” and “what to do’s” about getting older, becoming a parent - even suggestions about my love life. Lately, people are talking to me about my age. They tell me what my hair should look like, how I should act, what I should wear at my age ... but in my eyes I still feel like I’m 30. (I’m 44.) Maybe this article is giving me so many thoughts because I myself am in transition ... looking at the numbers and wondering ... When did I turn into a grown up? My advice on transition and life change is to allow yourself to be in it. Take it all in with an open mind and an open heart. Look and feel the fullness of the experience and be okay with who you are. • •
•
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Are you out of work? It’s okay to feel the vulnerability. Be open to new possibilities. Are you becoming a parent? Feel the excitement of the life you created. Allow yourself to experience the wonder of it ... be alive in that feeling and hold on to it. Did you move? Everything around you is different, especially if you moved someplace you have never lived. Take in the culture. Listen to all the questions that go on in your own mind. Get lost, and discover you can find your way. Having a Birthday? Embrace it!! Look at YOU. It’s just another number. Remember, at one point turning 13 was a big deal because you
•
Breaking up or divorcing? Letting go can be so painful. There are so many facets to letting go and so many stages of doing so. Be forgiving to yourself and the other person. You are both human. Remember to breathe.
•
Death? The place of grief cannot be measured by time. There is no simple answer when someone leaves the planet. We miss them, we hurt, we struggle, and we feel the loss! I don’t believe there is a quick way to go through grief. I believe we get real in this place of grief and in it we grow. Remember, though, that you need to come through your grief and not choose to live here forever ... because someone else is missing you.
These are just a few of the cycles that we experience throughout our lifetime. We all have to deal with them in this life’s journey. So if someone asks you how you are, give them the real answer ... not just the polite answer. Share your life with others because it gives them the opening to share theirs with you too. There are so many cycles in our lives that it is hard to talk about them all. What I can suggest though is that with every shift and change you can find your mind and your heart more aware and growing. You have been gifted with that opportunity. And in using that growth you become more conscious and alive. It’s scary growing up ... being responsible for others. Being the one making the chore board :) and paying the car insurance. I can’t help but wonder if that silly teenage girl is ready to go dancing and drink that big red slurpee from the convenient store … lol. Funny how when times get tasking I go back to that teenager to find comic relief and smile about some goofy thing I have done ... Do you ever ask yourself where did the time go? Moving into the next phase doesn’t mean we have to forget our hearts ... once we love someone or something ... we love it forever, even if we outgrow or move on from that thinking or living space. Not having all the answers, or even being overwhelmed, doesn’t make anyone less ... it joins us together in being human, and isn’t being human what life is all about?
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W
omen’s magazines have it tough. There are so many mixed messages about what a woman should have experienced by the time she’s reached 20, 30, 40, even 50 years of age that it’s hard to tell where any of us fit anymore. Individual factors such as environment, general health and eating habits mean that a young woman of 35 can suffer the same physical ailments as someone much older. It used to be said that “Life begins at 40,” but how does one dress for success when technology and healthy eating make “40 the new 20”?
GRACEFULLY NAVIGATING DON’T GET CAUGHT
The various articles available on blogs, self-help websites, and the internet in general, attempt to simplify the idea of a woman’s evolution with tidy bullet points and milestones determined by age bracket. This sort of generalization is fantastic for vague horoscopes and novelty personality tests, but broad blanket statements about what a lady can expect from one decade to the next often overlook the unique experiences of an individual. Exposure to these kinds of articles has the added pitfall of setting up a false expectation that life and its opportunities for positive growth and
change will unfold along a tidy timeline. Oh, if only that were true! Physical changes brought on by declining hormone levels do account for some of the inevitable marks of aging that each woman can expect to experience: crow’s feet, laugh lines, stretch marks, and gray hair, to name a few, but no one can really predict the age at which the events that truly define your character will take place. Going away to University, purchasing a first home, mentoring a young member of the community, moving far away from
THE CYCLES OF LIFE Carol Finlayson
IN A TIMELINE
friends and family, changing careers are all examples of major life choices that can take place at any time, at any age. These are the kinds of accomplishments and achievements that should stand as milestones. Let’s face it, some of us women never grow up, and we like it that way! Where is it written that a proper woman should be married by the age of 27 and be settled down with two children by the age of 33? True love can strike at any age, and it’s best when that love starts within your own heart, for your own self.
G R A C E F U L LY N AV I G AT I N G T H E C Y C L E S O F L I F E
Manifest Your Own Destiny Keep a Journal Whether your goal is to process previous events, clarify your thinking, get in touch with your feelings, or understand the context of a situation, keeping a journal is a fantastic way to connect with your innermost thoughts and emotions without fear or bias. Thirty minutes of journaling a day is also a meditative experience that reduces stress and provides an opportunity to write down important life lessons and gather introspective insight into your larger goals and how to turn dreams into reality.
Follow a Healthy Diet You are what you eat, and there’s far too much convincing evidence these days to try and suggest otherwise. Following a healthy diet built around whole and plantbased foods not only supports optimal immune function, it also slows the aging process. The better you eat, the longer you live, allowing you plenty of time to make an extra long bucket list and accomplish everything on it.
Meditate Daily Oprah Winfrey meditates regularly, and she’s not alone. Many of the most influential people in the world have suggested that a great deal of their success and happiness is the result of meditating regularly. Meditation is so much more than sitting still, breathing rhythmically, and trying to quiet the mind. It also promotes a sense of well-being, relaxation, and mental clarity.
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Laugh With Friends Having a supportive circle of friends promotes longevity and youthfulness. Enjoying an evening with friends, one night per week, laughing about shared experiences, and decompressing after a stressful day is a fantastic way to gain a new appreciation for what’s really important in life.
Explore New Hobbies A sure fire way to liven up your life and make things more interesting is to get out of the house and explore the opportunities that exist right in your own back yard. Whether you’re looking for dance lessons, art classes ranging from painting and water color to ceramics and sculpture, or an open mic night where you can show off your vocal talents, chances are there’s something interesting going on somewhere in your neighborhood. Best yet, a lot of places offer a free trial, so you can explore many different hobbies until you find the one that really resonates with you, without the financial commitment.
You are the master of your destiny and happiness. No one knows what you need better than yourself, and no one can tell you if you’re on the right track quite like your own gut instinct can. So take the time to really explore and get to know yourself on a deeper level. Give yourself permission to chart your own life course, and enjoy the scenery along the amazing path that unfolds before you..
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HOW TO LOVE YOU Suzy Manning
Y
ou are taught from a young age that love of self is selfish. You are taught that other people and things outside of you will give you your selfrespect, self-confidence, and self-worth. This is early programming from our image makers that external things in life will bring you happiness and success. Because of this scripting, women spend a lifetime nurturing family, relationships, and businesses while neglecting themselves. A favorite quote of mine by Audre Lorde is “Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.� Your ability to nurture is a quality that is needed in the world today. However, when it comes at a price of neglecting you and your needs, it devalues both the giver and the receiver. You need to be full to give. You cannot give what you do not have. When you keep reaching outside of you to feel loved and appreciated, it drains you of your life force energy. Some signs that
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you might be running on empty are:
a leader with integrity. You also sense that we are all connected in this web of life. You understand the power of love, but sadly negate love of self. As a woman, you have been silenced throughout history to keep you feeling powerless, unworthy, insecure, and unattractive. Some awarenesses to begin to awaken love of self are:
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You need coffee or other stimulants to get through your day
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You lose energy as you go through your day as opposed to gaining energy
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Your needs are at the end of your list or not even on the list
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Beauty is an energy, not a size or an age; you are beautiful as you are Now
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For all you do for others, you still feel empty inside and unfulfilled
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You have the innate qualities needed in leadership today; stand up and speak out
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You have no flexibility in your day to do anything fun or spontaneous
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Listen to your heart whispers; your heart knows what brings you joy
You are being called as a woman today to step into leadership, and leadership of others starts with self. You innately understand the power of caring about others as an integral piece of being
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Your emotions are a cry that your life is out of balance; trust what you feel and take action
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Your intuitive wisdom is always right on with
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than the risk it took to blossom.� You are being called to blossom. The Universe is gently and sometimes not so gently coaxing you to bloom. Flowers thrive by extending their roots deep into the earth for nutrients and to securely root into the soil. They absorb the rain and the warmth of the sun to open in all of their brilliance. They do not try to grow, they just grow. The flowers are mirroring to you your beauty, magnificence, and uniqueness that is who you are and your gifts for the world. A red rose does not want to be a yellow daffodil. A tiny violet does not yearn to be a huge sunflower.
answers for your life; trust the process Anais Nin states, “And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight in the bud was more painful
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Embrace the uniqueness of who you are, celebrate being alive on the planet today, and know that you are meant to stop people in their tracks with your wisdom just as the flowers stop you to gaze in wonder. You are meant to nurture a planet desperate for love, but you can only do that once you love the magnificent, powerful being you are. Nurture you just as the flowers absorb the nutrients of the earth and the warmth of the sun. To be fully alive, energized, and empowered, you need to love you before you venture into the world. You are love! You are lovable! Bloom in all of your brilliance as a mirror to others of what love of self looks like and feels like when it comes from a heart space ‌ and the power it has to change lives!
BOOK REVIEW Lemons, Lemonade & Life
PRACTICAL STEPS FOR GETTING THE SWEETNESS BACK WHEN LIFE GOES SOUR Review by: CHERYL MALONEY Lemons, Lemonade & Life. Practical Steps for Getting the Sweetness Back When Life Goes Sour by Janet D. Thomas (133 pages)
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hen you feel like your life has been turned upside down or you’re backsliding, the best thing you can hope for is something - just a little something that makes it all seem okay. After all ... you’re not in a place you want to be, nor did you aspire to be knocked down in life. Lemons, Lemonade & Life is that nugget, a voice of simplicity and hope to refresh your heart and soul. Written by a woman who has experienced the worst that life has to offer, Janet D. Thomas encourages you to gently face your fears and your emotions. In doing so she helps you unveil your own strength to rise above whatever pain you’re experiencing. As I read this book I found myself saying “yes” again and again. Yes to acknowledging life’s lemons (what brings you down), yes to neutralizing their effect (exposing them to the light puts them in perspective) and yes to allowing yourself to move beyond them (making lemonade from your lemons).
your power and your ability. In no time at all you’ll realize that what was dragging you down provides the ingredients that will lift you up ... higher than you might have even believed possible.
Within this book are the tools you need to take responsibility for your happiness. You’ll discover that dispensing with life’s lemons is solely within
Lemons, Lemonade & Life is a sweet treat that will have you celebrating all that this life has to offer. Drink it up! Simple Steps Real Change Magazine
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Change Your Choices 40
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& Change Your Life Don Shapiro
A
dd up your choices and that’s your life. From the time we are born until we pass on, we will make over one million choices. Surprised? While some of those choices are obviously big and visible, many of them are small, routine ones we might not pay attention to. Yet, many tiny choices over time can often lead to one big choice. Sometimes, just changing our daily routine can alter things in a way that leads to something dramatic. Big and small, all these choices together create the story of our life. Of course, some things that happened to us were out of our control. While we can’t prevent bad things from occurring, we can find better choices more often to improve our journey Simple Steps Real Change Magazine
through life. We have the power to change our choices and change our life. The trouble is that, too often, we may not be aware of all of our choices or like the choices we see. We may feel trapped in our current situation or frozen into inaction by options that seem less than desirable. The truth is that there are always choices available to help us move forward. We just need to find them and learn to trust them. Sometimes, though, trusting a choice might not be so easy because it can appear unattractive to us. That’s why it’s so important to listen to our inner wisdom for guidance instead of just waiting for a magic movie moment. We
5. Start watching the movie of your life
may need to walk down a path strewn with rocks and fallen timber in order to learn lessons that will help us make better choices in the future. There are even times where the less desirable path may be the only route to a better place. By expanding our awareness, we can find paths we never knew existed. Here are seven ways to help you discover more choices, options and forks so you can find the inner wisdom that will guide you to a better place. 1. Change a routine or pattern in your daily life Move outside your comfort zone and turn off your autopilot. Try changing the order of your morning routine or take a different route to work or school. The more you shake up the everyday things you’ve grown accustomed to, the more you find things you didn’t even know existed. 2. Change your perspective When you alter how you look at the world, you can discover
options hidden in the shadows. It’s also true that when you change your attitude, you change the way you see your situation. What appeared like a room without doors and windows is now a forest where new paths emerge and the possibilities seem endless. 3. Reflect on why you are in your current situation An honest look into why you ended up where you are can be very productive. Look back over all the choices that led up to where you are. Ask yourself about the lessons that this experience may hold for you. What has it taught you and how can you grow from it? 4. Fill your mind with new information Read and observe as much as you can about everything, not just your specific challenge. This causes a lot of brain cells to move around and creates new neural connections. The result is that after a few weeks you discover a stream of new ideas flowing out of you.
Pay attention to every choice you made. What were you feeling and thinking? Were you aware of messages urging you to make a different choice? This could be your inner wisdom. What can you learn about your choices that will help change your choices in the future? 6. Find a way to deeply relax Some people go by themselves out into nature. Others put themselves through very strenuous physical activity to clear their mind. Meditation, yoga, hypnosis, prayer and more may also help you find a place of complete peace and relaxation where your inner wisdom can emerge. 7. Take even a small action that will change the moment Move one pebble on the beach and you change history. Even a tiny action creates some type of ripple effect which shifts your place if only by a step. This change can create new options and possibilities as well as alter your view of the situation. When you find more choices and listen to your inner wisdom, you can change your life.
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HOW HO TEACHE CHANGE
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OLLYWOOD
ES YOU TO E YOUR LIFE Greg Kuhn
USING SIMPLE QUANTUM PHYSICS TO UNLOCK THE LAW OF ATTRACTION While they may sound like mystical, Eastern philosophy, modern science clearly
shows
us
that
“bending
everything else” is actually a very practical, and relatively easy, thing to do. How? For our purposes, the “spoon” represents something you desire: More money, a soul mate, a fulfilling career, a happy family, self-worth, a healthy body, etc.
C
So what is “everything else?” What is it
ould a Hollywood science fiction
you bend, if not the “spoon,” if you wish
movie actually reveal an amazingly
to use the law of attraction to change
powerful way to change something
your life and manifest your desires?
about yourself? In the movie The Matrix, the hero Neo sees a young boy bending a spoon with his mind.
“Everything else” is, simply, your beliefs. Why?
Because
your
beliefs
Neo wants to do it too.
unconsciously form your expectations.
When asked how he does it, the boy tells
quantum field, the field of unformed
Neo, “You don’t bend the spoon; you bend
particles, to manifest your material
everything else and then the spoon bends.”
reality. Just as quantum physics tell us,
And your expectations command the
your expectations manifest your own And it works; Neo bends the spoon.
unique, individual universe.
As strange as it might sound, quantum
Thus, if you improve your beliefs
physics validates those simple instructions.
so they align with your desires, you are bending “everything else.”
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And,
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else,” by aligning your beliefs with your desires, is not rocket science. All you need to do is systematically improve your beliefs, one step at a time, in a manner your subconscious will accept and believe. And doing so is actually very simple: you tell yourself, slowly but surely, an ever-improving version of the best-feeling, believable story about your circumstances. Especially those circumstances you wish to change and improve. The word “believable” is a very important key for “bending everything else” with new stories.
Your subconscious brain, which you
are retraining as your new stories improve your beliefs and align them with your desires, is not fooled by grandiose statements (such as positive affirmations). It will allow positive statements or affirmations to make you feel
conversely, the reason focusing on your desires alone (trying to “bend the spoon”) doesn’t work is that no amount of action can overcome the expectations you’re unconsciously sending to the quantum field. If your beliefs are not aligned with your desires, the quantum field will always confound you by taking cues from those expectations (coming from your misaligned beliefs), rather than listening to your top-ofmind yearnings, no matter how greatly you desire them. This is not a “feel-good philosophy.” In this manner, quantum physics unmasks the secrets of using the law of attraction as powerfully as you always dreamed. And quantum physics is the most precise and reliable body of science ever created. The good news is that “bending everything
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good in the moment, but it knows they are not your true beliefs. Thus, ensure your new stories are believable by validating your true feelings. Here is specific example of a better-feeling, believable story your subconscious brain will accept: “Although I feel discouraged about ever
having the amount of money I really want, based on my previous experiences, I can believe that, over time, through the process of telling myself better-feeling stories about money, I can build new beliefs about it. And although I’m not overly
confident about money, I can choose to believe, today, that if my beliefs about money improve, so will my expectations. And I can trust that the quantum field will respond to my new, improved expectations about money, even if
it’s challenging for me to imagine how that will happen right now.” I’ve italicized the portions of that story which validate my true feelings, even
while I create positive expectations for change. You’ll find you begin manifesting a physical reality more closely aligned with your desires almost the moment you start telling yourself the best-feeling, believable stories you can muster
because the quantum field begins
responding to even the small improvements in your beliefs (and expectations) by manifesting a material reality for you which reflects them. And it only gets better with practice; you will be able to tell and believe better-feeling stories as your beliefs slowly improve. Don’t wait until you watch The Matrix; join me and hundreds of others today on this exciting journey.
Forget about your “spoon” and
start bending “everything else.” You’ll find the quantum field is ready and willing to respond just as you’ve always hoped it would.
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EMBRACE LIFE WITH A BEGINNER’S
MIND Shann Vander Leek
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hoshin is a concept in Zen Buddhism which means Beginner’s Mind. Shoshin refers to the openness, curiosity, and lack of preconception a beginner brings to their study and practice of new material. Those who practice Shoshin experience learning just as fresh as a neophyte would, even when studying at an advanced level. I define Beginner’s Mind as allowing new experiences to unfold without expectations to become immersed in the experience, rather than in my thoughts about how the experience should be. This openness allows me to indulge my curiosity, plunge into uncharted waters, and remain a dedicated and interested student of life. As the mother of a young daughter, I witness the beauty of Beginner’s Mind every day. This maternal observation, coupled with the fact that I am an experiential learner, supports a natural state of wonderment—a way to squeeze more sweetness out of every day. When you have no preconceptions, there is no room for internal competition or an overactive ego, and no need to be fully proficient. It’s more
about showing up and seeing what happens next. Here are some examples of how Shoshin shows up in my life. As you read through these examples, I invite you to draw parallels to your own work, activities, and interests. Photography Capturing landscape images is one of my great passions. My camera is my creative partner when exploring the breathtaking Sleeping Bear National Lakeshore in northern Michigan. The rich textures, light, and colors of the area are pure perfection. Each time I venture outdoors with my camera, Beginner’s Mind is with me. What I love most about photography is the very private expression of what is on public display: The entire world through the lens of a camera. I have a never-ending appetite for capturing great and crushing beauty, and that
In the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities. In the expert’s mind there are few. Shunryu Suzuki
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one perfect expression. Cooking I am a fearless cook, thanks to being raised by a mama who was always experimenting with new recipes. I love to prepare, and enjoy, good food. When I find new recipes that sound delicious, I make them without hesitation. Learning about new ingredients and cooking methods is a lot of fun. My current mission is preparing healthier recipes. It’s an exploration, and my family has suffered through a few lousy dinners, but I’m staying open to the possibilities. After all, anyone can learn to cook if they’re willing to make a big mess and eat a few less-thanappetizing meals. Painting Last winter I signed up for a virtual painting class to learn how to paint. I had been fantasizing about painting for years. The 6-month course challenged me to paint the goddess within. From the first brush stroke to the last, I experienced a beautiful way to bring more creativity and peace into my life.
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Learning how to paint without self-judgement and expectation kept me in the zone of Beginner’s Mind. Writing Writing is something that snuck up on me and spun me about. I love to write and have coauthored three best- selling books. My first solo book, Life on Your Terms was an enormous undertaking. Thanks to Beginner’s Mind, I was able to make small steps, and ask for support along the way from technical writers and copy editors. When preparing and birthing manuscripts and digital programs, Beginner’s Mind makes all the difference in how you experience the process. Archery I have a beautiful longbow that I shoot occasionally. Sometimes I even hit the target! I don’t shoot to hit the bull’s eye, though. For me, it’s about the process, and being in the moment. Slowing down my breath, setting up the shot, pulling back on the string as I inhale, then releasing with a whoosh on each exhale.
What’s more, every shot that’s released has a chance of hitting the target, and the chances get better the more I breathe, focus and remain unattached to the outcome.
Questions:
Transformational Coaching Transformational coaching is my passion and professional calling. One of the reasons why I love the business of mentoring is because each client session beckons me to be fully present, curious and supportive.
How did it feel?
Even though I have hundreds of hours of coaching experience, I am humbled by how much there is for me to learn. My job is to show up without any preconceived notion, listen and learn. Staying in Shoshin helps me do my best work for others. All you need to enjoy Beginner’s Mind is the courage to step forward with an open mind and allow your curiosity to unfold. There’s no need for perfection. You don’t have to be great at everything you have an interest in. Instead, become a student of life. You deserve to sample, experiment, investigate, and experience life with unfiltered enthusiasm!
Have you experienced Beginner’s Mind?
What are you most curious about? What is stopping you from experimenting with a new interest? How will you infuse Beginner’s Mind into your life and expertise?
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WHAT HAPPENS
When You Finally See the Light Debbie Lynn
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hen you find yourself responding to life in a new calm and gentle way, or you have feelings that have no articulation … Smile and take a breath. Welcome to the next level of Spiritual growth. Many think that when enlightenment or the big “Aha” happens, they will have some kind of super power ... Well, no. “Before enlightenment, chopping wood. After enlightenment, chopping wood.” Chinese proverb You see, life hasn’t really changed; only the way you view it has.
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And whatever clicked inside you that triggered this stream of light, just know all the work, inner reflection, pain and suffering, etc. was not done in vain. It moves you to a higher understanding of peace, and it is perfectly okay to revel in it. The shift may look like this: Joy is found in the smallest of things, and getting up to meet the day is a pleasure. It is being able to purposely eke out quality, not quantity, as you move through a daily routine, and the mundane is suddenly filled with awe. It is watching trivial melt into the abyss because you have removed the trite, and life has become simple. Period. With the senses heightened and your awareness alert (not complacent), just notice how happy you are. This is that “feeling” so many speak to, and it has purposely slowed you down so you may observe and be in it. So what to do with your newfound “self”?
Settle into it, let it flow. This transformation is beautiful and personal (but don’t let your mind make it bigger than it is). Becoming a more centered, calm and non-reactive Soul is your reward. It reflects, and it will be reflected right back to you. In the meanwhile, don’t forget, all is timely. Some days will still be filled with chaos, and some days will be clear. The mere fact that you are able to recognize and feel the energy and not have it negatively affect you is another good sign you are on the rise and being mindful. Lean into it and hold on; then share your love and newfound grace. Take a deep meaningful bow to your inner source and send a Thank You to the road that led you here … that is all you need to do. And then, back to norm; yet normal is anything but because your light is now on for good. Yes … Life goes on, and all is exactly the way it is ... To be.
Do nothing; enjoy it.
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Her life reflects her belief: “You must sacrifice to achieve.” What she doesn’t know is … It’s a Myth! The Truth: Of course, you can’t create more than 24 hours in a day, but you CAN learn to leverage your energy for a well-rounded life!
Liz Kearns
Not as High as You Think!
HIGH Achievement of 52
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he life of many of my high-achieving clients looks like this: She rushes to complete her myriad responsibilities. Her mantra: “Too much to do and not enough time.” Her body feels burdened and stressed, with little time or energy for family or self. She lacks support and feels conflicted between priorities. Juggling to please those that rely on her, she rarely feels in harmony with her life. Although her life looks enviable on the outside with the respectable career/house/car, she feels chaotic inside. It may be affecting her health. She copes with ineffective strategies, like trimming sleep, eating unhealthy food, perhaps too many drinks. She distracts herself with perfectionism to avoid judgment but, of course, nothing is perfect.
You CAN achieve without sacrificing your wellness, vitality and joy. It’s not selfish. It’s an investment that pays handsome dividends. I did! As the youngest and only daughter of immigrant parents, high achievement began by age 8. Left home alone while my parents worked constantly in sacrifice for the family, I kept busy to stave off loneliness and boredom. I got lost in getting straight A’s, playing the flute and piano competitively, doing my mother’s housework and tending my father’s business. A lot of responsibility for a kid, but, boy, did I absorb my parents’ praise when they returned home after dark to find I had done it all with perfect excellence. Still, it wasn’t enough to make me feel okay, because I had lost my self. The pattern was set. I pushed myself for decades without energy, joy or passion. The message I
Here’s the cycle: Your belief creates your thought, which creates your emotion, which creates your attitude, which creates your behavior - which circles back to reinforce your belief. The trick is in replacing a limiting belief with an expanding belief that supports the outcome you desire, plus take the action required. Still stuck? If you desire to take better care of yourself and feel more equanimity, ask yourself, with compassion, “When is enough enough?” For many, like me, it will surface when you finally reach the point where the perceived pain of NOT taking good care of yourself outweighs the perceived pain of making the changes.
internalized unconsciously was, “I’m only as worthy as my recent accomplishments.” The “empty calories” of the message left ME feeling empty. I filled the void by pushing harder, working faster, and overeating Doritos and ice cream. Although I lost weight by smoking cigarettes, I chugged coffee and had trouble sleeping (!) My excessive behavior confirmed my limiting belief that my work is never done and, therefore, I am never enough.
Finally, no matter how vigilant you are with respect to self-care, if there is any area you’re not feeling your best, know that that’s a signal that it’s time to shift gears because you deserve to feel great about yourself. If you don’t, it is standing in the way of your own well-being. You don’t have to go it alone. Get the support you need from a coach or another professional. Achievement does not require you to sacrifice your Self - unless you allow it to.
I slowly realized that my worth as a person did not lie in work, keeping busy and getting stuff done. Rather, I could feel fulfilled by learning to take extremely good care of myself and love myself not easy, given the absence of such role models. Learn I did. I taught myself how to: • • • • • • • • •
quit smoking without overeating exercise my body in fun and inspiring ways understand and process my emotions so that I could move forward without self-sabotage replace the “shoulds” with the “I-wills” incorporate fun into my schedule enjoy my own company set healthy boundaries around work and rejuvenation pray and meditate focus on my abundance, not lack
Next thing I knew, I met the man of my dreams talk about accomplishment!! I never lost my highachievement; I only gained equanimity and selflove. Who knew?
Creating More Energy, Empowerment and Purpose
Liz Kearns, MPP, CEP The Vitality Coach for High-Achievers
Liz@KearnsCoaching.com www.KearnsCoaching.com 248-474-3982
What I proved to myself is, if you change the unconscious beliefs about what is and isn’t possible for you, you will change your outcome. Simple Steps Real Change Magazine
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The Artof Living A Co-Creative Life Dr. Julie Krull
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ave you heard the new buzzword “cocreate?” You may have heard people mindlessly using it interchangeably with collaborate or cooperate. In business, it is used as a shared marketing strategy. However, the term has a more powerful, generative meaning that can change your life. The art of co-creation is a transformative, integrative, and spiritual way of being in the world. Imagine being in the flow with Divine Intelligence and moving through life with ease and joy. It’s possible. You are part of a greater whole and fully supported by the Universe. It is time to wake up, live consciously, and fully express the magnificent, divine blueprint that resides deep within each one of us. So what is a co-creator and how do you live a cocreative life? Barbara Marx Hubbard defines a cocreator as “one who is experiencing the creative intention of the universe incarnating as their own intention, expressing that intention as an essential self in creative work, and joining with others doing the same; one who co-creates with spirit, with others, and with nature.” In the Co-creator’s Handbook, Carolyn Anderson and Katharine Roske say a co-creator is “one who surrenders and aligns his will with the intention of Creation, the universal mind, the designing intelligence, Spirit; one who shares his gifts and actualizes his dreams in synergistic play with other co-creators to bring forth a new world.” To understand the art of living a co-creative life in the simplest form, let’s break it down into three simple steps: align, connect, and embody.
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1 ALIGN When we are practicing mindfulness and conscious choice, it is easy to be present to this powerful alignment – with every thought, word and deed – and, in every moment. The first step is to awaken from the illusion of separation. We are not separate from our Source (God, Creator, Universal Mind, Divine Intelligence, or whatever term you may use for higher power) and we are not separate from each other, or our beautiful planet. We are one living organism – a whole system – and as we remember this truth, we yearn to align with the bigger picture. The divine intelligence that pulses through creation, pulses through us. Seeing ourselves as an integral part of creation, we find our place, our guidance, and
our purpose. Align with your co-creative partner (Source), and renew a commitment to your soul’s purpose. You will experience a deeper, more meaningful, sacred life.
CONNECT Once you align with Source and your soul’s purpose, it is easy to find resonance with others on their divine right paths. Begin by learning how to create heart resonance and connection with yourself, first. Close your eyes and breathe into your heart space. Connect with the expansive essence that comes from the powerful electromagnetic field of your heart. Make this a daily practice. It’s easy. Stop several times a day, take a few deep breaths, and reconnect with your heart. When you experience the magnitude of heart resonance, begin consciously connecting with others in that resonant field. Connect heartto-heart in all your relationships, communications, and gatherings. Use the connection to discover shared purpose and shared vision. When we are in alignment with Source and our soul’s purpose, and connected with other like-hearted individuals, we begin the powerful journey of co-creating a new world reality.
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3 EMBODY The third step in living a co-creative life is the embodiment of these principles. It’s one thing to “think about” alignment and connection. It’s another to embody and integrate the consciousness into a transformative way of being. Embodiment is a sacred opportunity to fuse your higher and lower self, body and soul, psyche and soma. Embodying co-creative consciousness creates an integrated inner space with the external world and moves us one step closer to Heaven on Earth. Begin with the practice of generosity. Actively give your aligned and connected self in service of the greater good. Give back to the Whole – it creates more wholeness. YOU, your gifts, and your soul’s purpose, matter. You are part of the divine plan, so embody this new consciousness and put it into action – in thought, word, and deed.
The art of living a co-creative life is simple when we remember these three simple steps – align, connect and embody. As Anderson and Roske prescribe, let’s share our gifts and actualize our dreams in synergistic play with one another. In doing so, we will bring forth a new co-creative world.
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DISAPPOINTMENT COMING INTO THE LIGHT Josh Ubaldi
F
ear and worry, overwhelmed and stuck, exhaustion and confusion: these are the big common terms that self-help leaders discuss at length. However, one of the most insidious killers of successful living is that quiet, subtle, dangerous beast: disappointment. The majority of us experience disappointment with regularity, and some of us experience it almost every day in relationships, careers, and experiences that are not fulfilling. Cancelled plans, constant excuses, small results on a big project, no payoff for plenty of effort, lack of communication, lack of whatever you need most: all are experiences that can create those pangs of disappointment. The sad reality is that most of us don’t take any time to manage this, let alone capitalize on it. When it arises, disappointment creates a lot of havoc in our daily lives, but it’s usually a quiet type of upheaval. The results are more akin to termites eating away at the foundational structure of your home than a tornado flattening your whole house. It happens within, and the damage can be longterm and costly. When our hopes and, more often, our expectations are not satisfied, the feeling of disappointment can overcome us so completely that we stop fully living in the present. Instead, we fixate on what didn’t go
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right, what should have been, reliving that moment over and over. Sometimes we disappoint ourselves with our choices and actions, and sometimes we allow other people to disappoint our expectations of what we wanted of them. Either way, allowing anger, bitterness, sorrow, or shock to consume or even stop us in our tracks is not something that needs to happen. We don’t need to let disappointment keep us from feeling successful in our daily lives and relationships. We have the power to make this happen less and
“
THE MAJORITY OF US EXPERIENCE DISAPPOINTMENT WITH REGULARITY AND SOME OF US EXPERIENCE IT ALMOST EVERY DAY.
less and start to embrace our real circumstances more honestly and joyfully. “Stuff happens” is a term I hear a lot (and it’s more colorful, expletive-laced version!). But it tends to dismiss disappointment as a luxury, or even a “spoiled” reaction to unfortunate things that happen to us. It denies the actuality that when we want more, reach for more, or attempt to create better in our lives, it doesn’t always happen for us immediately. Charles Stanley said, “Disappointment is inevitable. But to become discouraged, there’s
a choice I make.” Discouragement may be the worst effect of disappointment. It reduces our confidence, fills us with sorrow, and stops us from moving forward and trying again as soon and significantly as we might. We need powerful tactics to manage disappointment. Keeping it simple is the key. First, acknowledge the disappointment for what it is when it happens. Everyone registers this with different variations: feeling let down, bummed out, dissatisfied, annoyed and sad are all aspects of
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attention to something forward-moving and positive. By making your period of dealing with the disappointment productive, you won’t feel like you got waylaid by circumstances outside of your control. For the larger, heavier disappointments, I like to engage the 24 hour rule. In case you don’t know it, this is a common practice of many high achievers, and the principle is simple: for any win or loss, give yourself 24 hours to either celebrate your win or mourn your loss, and then proceed with your plan and general routines. Big disappointments often need to be mourned as losses in this way. Sometimes it is simply not enough to refocus and take action, but rather go inward and care more deeply for yourself. Take the day off, have a satisfying meal, go do something that always brings you pleasure or joy, and boost yourself with that little extra while you process the sting of the disappointment. Throughout, remind yourself that you are always and still “Well at core.” this beast of disappointment. When you feel any of these, remind yourself that although your hopes or expectations were not met, you are still whole and undamaged at your core, what I call “Well at core.” This is the key to keeping perspective when dealing with the shock of whatever has disappointed you. Next, choose one of two empowering options, based on the intensity of your disappointment. For the smaller, less devastating disappointments, take immediate action. Do something powerful and proactive to move forward. Do not fall into the “pity wallowing trap” under any circumstances! When little things that are out of our control happen to disappoint us, it’s far too easy to feel bad for ourselves and really let that self-pity slow us down and stop us in a state of complaining or even bitter seething. I witness this all the time. Instead, do something immediately after. Once you’ve acknowledged that you’re disappointed but still “Well at core,” immediately refocus your
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Finally, once you have managed the immediate effects of the disappointment, capitalize on it by exploring its source. Ask yourself: What is this disappointment bringing to light? What can I do to prevent it from happening again? What have I learned or gained from it? What will I do more of in future? Start taking action on your answers. You always have the option to either change your circumstances or change your beliefs. If you don’t have the means to change your circumstances just yet, you can always change your beliefs about them so that disappointment does not appear again and again. Yes, it can and mostly likely will be challenging, but that is why disappointment comes into our lives. Disappointment can be not just a sneaky beast, but a beaming light that reminds us to create the best circumstances that sustain us, and adopt beliefs that serve us to be more joyful and more whole.
Cheryl’s
Recommended Resources
Victor & I An Alexander Vesely Film
Begin Within: A Begin with Yes Guided Meditation By: Paul S. Boynton Why Quantum Physicists Don’t Get Fat
The Sky is Green and the Grass is Blue
By: Greg Kuhn
By: Deb Scott
He’s Out Awesome
You’re
By: Marilyn Hough & Cheryl Maloney
USE IT By: Cheryl Hunter
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A LESSON A
FEAR
Josh Sandi Ubaldi Schwartz
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ABOUT
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ear can be paralyzing. It can insidiously creep into your mind and take over your body, making you doubt yourself, squash your joy and leave your dreams unfulfilled. Sometimes it appears with the force of a rocket that is triggered by a catastrophic event, reeking havoc with daily reality. While you often have the luxury of spinning webs of worry in your mind as you mull over decisions, there may be a moment when fear suddenly hits you over the head with the weight of a brick. I experienced the transformative magic of navigating between the power of Fear and the power of Guidance on 9/11. My lesson began on a sleepy Sunday morning in August of 2001. My husband and I were invited to ‘tour’ Mayor Giuliani’s Emergency Bunker at 7 World Trade Center in lower Manhattan. I worked just a few blocks away as Executive Director of Citigroup’s Children’s Center, and I remember thinking how eerily quiet the streets seemed on the weekend, especially in comparison to the throngs of people who navigated space during the week.
AND GUIDANCE SAND1 SCHWARTZ
I’m not the type of person who enjoys detective thrillers or international espionage movies, but the thought of visiting a reallife emergency command facility, just a few moments away from my everyday work life, seemed very exciting. Arriving on the 23rd floor of 7 World Trade and entering the bunker was like landing on a Hollywood set. This was a fullscale emergency management facility, with direct access to the President of the United States as well as state of the art surveillance
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equipment for keeping New York City safe. As we toured the site, I had this uncomfortable feeling in my gut: “Why was it located here? How safe would it be if the building was ever attacked?” I, who knew nothing about emergency management, explosives or terrorism, could not shake this inner discomfort. I had no idea what was going to happen a few weeks later. But I am getting ahead of myself. actually began about a year earlier.
My lesson
Our daughter came home for a college break and mentioned that she wanted to spend her last semester abroad. I imagined her in England, France or Italy. She explained that the experience she desired was to go to India, Nepal and Tibet. My husband and I had the same immediate reaction: “NO!” We did not believe that these remote countries were safe for a young woman and encouraged her to think about another part of the world. Neither of us had the awareness of how strongly our fear was guiding or, actually, misguiding our parental decision-making abilities. Melissa has always been persistent. When something was important to her, she rarely backed down. At her insistence we had several conversations about how intensely drawn she was to the people and culture of these countries and how her interest in photojournalism would be served as she participated in a program that would allow her to document her experiences through her camera lens. Around this very same time I began giving “Balancing Work and Parenting” workshops at several Wall Street companies. It occurred to me that if I made my decisions based on fear, I was not following the very advice I was giving to other parents. I became aware of a small voice inside my heart that kept beating a strong yet loving message: “Live what you teach, Sandi. Make peace with your fearful thoughts and replace them with another story.” I made a conscious decision to move past the internal chatter of my mind and take actions that helped me sort out responsible
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concerns from irrational fear. I researched the program that sponsored the studies abroad and contacted the director. While no one could give me the assurance that I wanted ~ a total guarantee that my child would be safe ~ I became more and more comfortable tuning into this inner voice. I eventually started to trust, soothed my fears and found that I could let go of controlling my daughter’s journey. In August of 2001, one week before our tour of the bunker, I quietly wept as she left our home for the airport, already missing her and praying that she would be safe. Each time a fearful thought entered my mind I consciously replaced it with an image of her being happy and well. One month later, while she was preparing to visit with the Dali Lama in Northern India, I woke up and went to work, expecting a normal day. I arrived at my office in lower Manhattan a little after 7:15 in the morning and a short time later my world was in turmoil. That small voice inside my heart spoke to me many times on that infamous day. I believe that I was able to transform fear into guidance because of all the inner work that I had done the past year.
Amidst the chaos that ensued after the second plane went into the towers, I was guided to make decisions that got most of my staff and families out of the area just before the buildings came down. It was that same inner ‘knowing’ that led me to walk out into the middle of the street, put up my arms and commandeer a car full of strangers, asking if they could fit me and one of my teachers in as they slowly moved away from the horrors of lower Manhattan. Even though every bridge and tunnel was immediately closed for security, I had a flash of a small, unknown bridge pop up in my mind, a bridge that connected Madison Avenue to the Bronx, and when we finally reached the northern tip of Manhattan, miraculously, the bridge was open. I continued to follow the guidance of my Inner Voice and step-by-step, finally arrived home later that evening.
pathway of well being. By modeling how to follow this inner compass and encouraging our children to do the same, we become free to live life to the fullest, knowing that no matter what happens, we will be competent to accept uncertainty and walk in the direction of our dreams. How does one know the difference between irrational fear and legitimate intuition? I’ve learned to check in with my thoughts. If they make me feel powerless, or if they are negatively emotionally charged, I know it is time to get still, breathe deeply and quiet my mind. I ask for guidance and continue to breathe as I imagine a stream of wisdom flowing to me. I can actually feel a shift in my heart, in my gut and in my spirit as the thoughts transform into a ‘knowing.’
All this time, our daughter was safe in India. That night 7 World Trade came down. The Emergency Command Center no longer existed. I looked danger in the face and, each time, turned my attention back to my awakened guidance. My intuition, in the absence of fear, was spot on. There are millions of stories of how people’s lives were affected on that memorable September day, now twelve years ago. I am compelled to share the wisdom that emerged for me from the rubble and the sadness. I learned that living in fear rarely, if ever, leads to a life that is radically alive and joyful. I found out that allowing worry and the negative experiences/ opinions of others to influence our decisions greatly limits our ability to discover the greatness of who we really are. I also was reminded how paralyzing the energy of fear can be and that it is an illusion to believe that in order to be a good parent one must worry. The greatest gift we can give to ourselves and to our children is to align with our Inner Guidance System, that still small voice that lives within our heart and in our gut and continually points us to the
As parents, we love our children with every fiber of our being, but we can never worry enough to keep them safe. Instead of filling their heads with stories of danger and vulnerability, we can remind them of their power, let them know that they were born with built-in radar to sense when something does or doesn’t feel good and give them plenty of opportunities to fine-tune their guidance system. Each year as September 11th is revisited, I find my memory filled with sadness of those tragic days, yet within my heart glows the embers of gratitude for the tiny miracles that were born amidst the darkness.
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One Size
Does NOT Fit All DAVE FRESILLI
”EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT,” BUT WHEN IT COMES TO EXERCISE AND THE LATEST DIET, MOST FOLKS DON’T QUESTION THE VALIDITY OF THE PROGRAM.
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e always hear “Everyone is different,” but when it comes to exercise and the latest diet, most folks don’t question the validity of the program … they jump on the wagon with everyone else, hoping for the fantastic results advertised. It is important to understand exercise and food are medicine and need to be prescribed based on the client’s genetics, needs, and abilities. Let us look at food and how the body can respond (a good effect) or react (a poor effect.) This is a basic understanding so that you can begin to grasp how your body works. Some of us are considered Fast metabolizers (protein types) while others are Slow metabolizers (carbohydrate types [don’t get excited]), and then there are hybrids called Mixed types (a combination of protein /carbohydrate).
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Here’s a simple breakdown of how each one works: Protein Types Protein types are able to breakdown carbohydrates at a faster rate, which then allows the sugars (glucose) into the blood steam at an elevated rate. Normal levels range from a fasting level of 70–100 decimeters to 135–140 decimeters after a meal. When levels go above this, you begin to feel the negative affects. As a protein type you do best on vegetables as your carbohydrate source, and higher purine proteins (meat, fish, fowl, eggs). Protein sources such as salmon, red meats, dark meat poultry, and organ meats have a higher fat and/or purine content. Carbohydrate Type A carbohydrate type is a slow oxidizer and breaks
down carbohydrates at a much slower rate. This releases the sugars (glucose) into the blood stream at a tolerable rate so there is an appropriate insulin response. Carbohydrate types usually do better on lite meat proteins such as chicken breast, white fish meats, egg whites, and more vegetables. Remember when I said “Don’t get excited?” Here’s the catch to being a carb type. Just because, as a carbohydrate type, you can handle carbs better, doesn’t mean you should be eating pasta, breads, grains pastries, and sugars. Mixed Type Then there is a Mixed type. These folks vacillate between a Protein type and a Carbohydrate type. They have the most variety in their food choices but also have more of a challenge knowing their responses to the foods they are eating. For instance, if they are working out hard, they may
feel the need for more protein. When they are spending more time working at their job using their minds concentrating, they may wish to increase their vegetables (carbs) intake.
You’ll notice that many of the chronic responses for both of the types are the same. This is because when you are eating incorrectly for your type, your body can react in common ways.
These different metabolic types help us understand why some folks do really well on high protein diets such as the Atkins, and others do not. Some folks do great on high carb/low fat diets while others pack on the pounds.
Here is a good way to start once you have figured out your possible type:
So this is why one size can’t fit all. Here are a few keys to help you to begin understanding what type you might fall into. Signs you could be a fast oxidizer: •
After eating a high carbohydrate meal you feel a cloudy head, tired but wired.
•
After eating a meal with carbs you feel hungry or want to take a nap.
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Highs and lows in your energy.
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ADD/ADHD symptoms.
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Anxiety
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Headaches.
•
You may possibly have chronic issues such as depression, toxicity, neck/shoulder pain, lower back pain, sleep poorly, adrenal stress, immune system issues, diabetes, constipation or diarrhea.
Signs you could be a carbohydrate type: •
•
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After eating a high fat/protein meal you feel lethargic, sluggish, too heavy in your gut, crave sweets, or some kind of stimulants such as coffee or tea. You may possibly be dealing with chronic depression, overweight, toxicity, not getting a good response from aerobic exercise, neck/ shoulder pain, lower back pain, aging too quickly, adrenal fatigue, ill health, low energy, and bad body odor.
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•
A Protein type should consume dark, heavier proteins/fats with vegetables.
•
A Carb type should stick to lighter proteins and more vegetables.
•
As a Mixed type you get to experiment a bit more trying a couple days as a protein type, and then the next couple days as a carb type. You can then take note of the differences in how you feel.
You see, your body will actually tell you what type you are by it’s response (good) or reaction (poor)
to the foods you eat. When you eat a meal and it is right for you, you will actually have more energy than before you ate. You should feel a state of well-being, and should be able to sustain good energy till your next meal 3.5 to 4 hours later. You should have a clear head with good mental focus, and have no cravings for sweets or more food. This means eating the
There really is no big secret to eating healthy and enjoying the benefits of properly feeding your body. These benefits include losing excess body fat, which has for the past forty years become a national obsession with little result. Eating healthy for your individual type is so simple. Quality foods that are not processed are first and foremost. Secondly, becoming aware of eating what feels best for your body. Lastly, choosing the right portions without overeating. These three simple steps will go a long way to increasing your health and wellness so you feel and perform at your very best. Start feeling what your body is telling you every time you eat and drink. Your body is amazing. It is giving you feedback every moment of the day. All that is required is to embrace what your body is telling you, and then take note. With just a little bit of attention you will quickly begin to understand how to eat in order to heal yourself and allow your body to thrive only on the foods it truly needs. If you would like help with this, just drop me a line. I’ll be happy to coach you through it.
right foods in the right portions. Overeating is not healthy. It takes an incredible amount of energy for your body to breakdown/digest, and assimilate food. We always want to choose high quality foods that have been minimally processed. This means organic, free range, wild caught, no hormones or antibiotics, no pesticides, herbicides, rodenticides or chemical fertilizers. Once you begin to feed your body the way it is designed, all manner of health benefits will begin to emerge. Simple Steps Real Change Magazine
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the Lifespan of TRAUMA
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JANET D THOMAS
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y best friend died from injuries sustained in a motorcycle accident one month before his 21st birthday (and two months before mine). Although others I have loved made their transitions when I was younger, none impacted me like his. I felt that the proverbial rug, my foundation, had been pulled from under me. The day he left was the day my life without him was born. I literally had to learn to live all over again. “Janet, you must get up now and use the bathroom.” “Janet, it is now time to brush your teeth.” “Janet, get in the shower.” There was an inner voice instructing me what to do because I was no longer on automatic pilot in order to perform even the most mundane tasks. When I was 42 years old and celebrated the 21st anniversary of his transition, I acknowledged myself for having come of age in the context of living
without his physical presence. The experience of it was now mature, and I honored him while celebrating my own fortitude in surviving this personal trauma.
The dictionary defines “trauma” as: (a) an injury (as a wound) to living tissue caused by an extrinsic agent, (b) a disordered psychic or behavioral state resulting from severe mental or emotional stress or physical injury, or (c) an emotional upset. What if you consider that your traumatic experiences are dynamic, living things? That they are born, live and transition, just like any other living thing? For example, if you lightly prick your finger or are annoyed because the supermarket lines are too long, those traumas are relatively minor and are born, live and transition out very quickly, sometimes in a matter of nanoseconds. Others, like the death of a loved one, may
take much more time. I have found that assigning an age to something that has really impacted me has helped me garner a deeper understanding of myself, the impact of that experience, and a true level of patience, understanding and kindness for my own healing process - in other words, true compassion for myself.
The dictionary also defines “compassion” as: sympathetic consciousness of others’ distress together with a desire to alleviate it. One example of an act of selfcompassion - that sympathetic consciousness we can summon so readily for others - would be to allow ourselves to take whatever time we need in order to heal from whatever happened. Oftentimes we berate ourselves for not getting over things as quickly as we think we should, but just whose time frame are we adopting? It’s obviously not our own, or else the impatience
wouldn’t be there. We are so quick to advise others to be patient and let things be okay as they are, yet we don’t extend that to ourselves. It’s like leaving your body and viewing your life from a critical point of view when you would be better served by staying in your body and living your life in the manner in which you live it, without explanation or apology. Remember to take whatever time you need in order to heal from what happened. For example, if you find yourself crying and missing someone three years after their transition, the experience of living without your loved one is three years old and would be considered, basically, a toddler. And wouldn’t you be patient, understanding and kind to a toddler? Then why not be patient, understanding and kind to yourself as you grieve?
If you’re grieving a recent breakup that is no longer as painful as it was initially, perhaps that event is already middleaged, or it might be very old and will be transitioning soon. How comforting it would be to describe it in those terms and appreciate how far you’ve come. You may believe like I once did that in order to move forward successfully, you must simply forget about traumatic things that have happened, that giving them attention keeps you stuck in them. I lovingly submit that giving traumatic experiences the attention they need, just like a growing child, assists them in reaching maturity. By allowing them a voice, allowing them to safely express themselves, they don’t get stuck. They naturally move forward towards healing and wholeness, and you move forward towards healing and wholeness right along with them.
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any of us sometimes feel that what we do for ourselves personally isn’t important for the global picture, but it really is. I am starting to see now how shifting up of consciousness is a “group effort” and everyone has a part to play. We are all in this together! My gift to help people at this time is the use of divination to get messages from our own higher selves … for personal guidance. I studied the I Ching many years ago and learned for myself how information comes to us and how profound it can be if we are in the right place when we ask questions or ask for general advice. It takes a GIANT leap of faith to learn to listen to and TRUST our higher self. It is also important to know that you might well make mistakes as you learn to identify that specific voice. The difference between a culprit thought or a childhood guilt and your own higher voice is very, very subtle…but practice makes perfect. It is the only way to learn …by practicing. For me, I use my own deck of Voice of the Soul cards or the I Ching. You can use any system as long as you are comfortable with and can relate to the symbols. There are TONS of decks of divination cards available today … hayhouse.com lists an amazing 83 different decks you can purchase … so certainly there is a deck that will work for you. The real key to learning to “hear” your higher-self voice is to be in the right state when you draw your card. If you are in an emotional state of turmoil, you are not likely to get an accurate reading. At the very least, take a few deep breaths and relax and clear your mind so that you only see the question you are asking or the period of time you want general advice for. Using divination cards is only one way to learn to listen to your higher self. The more you listen to your higher self, the higher your vibration will be. So how does learning to listen to your own higher voice, and hence raising your vibration, affect the whole planet? How does what you do help all of humanity? Think of every human as if they are a tuning fork. If you are not sure what a tuning for is, go to http://www.onlinetuningfork.com/
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and click on the images there to hear them. They were designed for musicians to use to tune their instruments. I have seen a demonstration where one tuning fork that has been struck is moved next to another one and that one will start to vibrate too! What that means is that how you are vibrating … at what level … will affect the person next to you in line in the grocery store … and your family that lives across the country! So the efforts that each of us makes to “raise” our vibration to a higher level really does have an effect on the whole planet. You have likely seen the film of the ping pong table covered with mouse traps with a ping pong ball in each one. Tossing one ping pong ball onto the table sets off a reaction that causes all the balls to jump into the air. We can’t SEE the vibrations that we are emanating, but others can FEEL the vibration of your energy and will respond to it. If you have ever stood next to someone that gave
WHAT IS YOUR ROLE ROBBIE ADKINS
you a chill, it could be that their vibration is very low, giving you the feeling of cold. I wish “mood rings” really worked so we could easily monitor our vibration at all times. Actually, there are companies making devices that help you monitor your level of anxiety/calm. I have one myself. It is simple to use and is just one more way you can help yourself … which in turn will help everyone else. Just ask to be “shown” something like this that is right for you and before you know it, a friend will tell you about it or a magazine will fall open to an article about it. The good news about this is that all of these things I’ve mentioned here are beneficial to us. The idea of “personal sacrifice for good of the whole” is no longer valid. The better it gets for each of us, the better it gets for the whole family of humanity. That makes it a WIN/WIN for all of us! Think of
all the people in the world as if they are standing on a step that goes around the world. We are all holding hands. As some of us raise our vibrations and are ready to jump up to the next step, we help the person next to us make the jump too. So if half the people of the planet are ready to jump, that is enough energy to help the other half make the jump … every other person in the string of people. The good news is that more people every day understand this and are improving their own lives, no matter how it APPEARS the people of the world are behaving. Many of us are faced with serious challenges at this time, but we keep looking up. Keep the faith. If you are having trouble doing that these days, spend a few minutes each day in quiet time or meditation. It doesn’t have to be a big formal ceremony. Just when you have time and a quiet space, close your eyes and listen to that inner voice. Or reach out to a friend … after all, we really are all in this human experiment together!
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SOLUTIONS
ToResolveStress FUZZY MANNING
DO YOU BELIEVE THAT YOU CAUSE YOUR SUCCESS, MEDIOCRITY, OR STRUGGLES IN YOUR LIFE?
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tress paralyzes you and causes invisible wounds that affect everything you think, say, and do. It’s difficult to fix what you can’t see, and it’s twice as hard to prevent it from reoccurring. The level and intensity of stress that you choose to juggle daily will negatively shape and sculpt you, your business, and your family for years. Are you tired of addressing the same personal/ professional problems that never get resolved? Do you feel stressed, angry, even desperate, to find a workable solution? Stress silently affects your way of life, your community - our entire society. All stress has physical, emotional, and mental consequences. There are three degrees or levels of stress: Mild Anxiety or Acute Stress is considered to be healthy stress. You are highly motivated and your energy levels are sufficient to cope with job and
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home stressors. Usually, acute stress has a quick onset, and it disperses rapidly. Examples are: managing life’s challenges such as job promotion or getting married, traffic jams, arguing with a business colleague, or preparing for an important event. Cumulative Stress is when you experience continued stressors in your daily life. You are overwhelmed with all of your responsibilities and tasks in life. You begin to experience irritability, tension headaches, or you complain about the constant changes in your life. You begin to feel you are losing control over the stressors in your life. Examples are: unsatisfactory marriage, very
demanding job, or financial difficulties. Cumulative stress noticeably affects your physical, emotional, and mental health. Chronic Stress s when you regularly feel physically and mentally exhausted coping with life. You find yourself in a world of dependency, judgment, comparison, and feel a reduced sense of selffulfillment. You begin to feel that you have lost control over the stressors in your life. You experience overwhelming events like divorce, cancer, major business problems, death of a loved one, long-term unemployment, bankruptcy, or foreclosure. Stress has already reached a dangerous level and is affecting your physical and
Stress is unavoidable, but how you manage it is your choice!
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Resolving your stress is determined by your ability to ask for help, accept responsibility for whatever occurs in your life, and control your emotions. Your emotions play a huge role in your level of stress and are a leading cause of stress. If you want to lower your stress, learn how to manage your emotions. How well you control your emotions will define what you’re able to accomplish in your life. Stress may be the number one reason for a visit to your doctor, clinic, or emergency room. Finding easy and effective solutions to lower and eliminate stress are everywhere. What happens when you’re able to step away momentarily from an event, situation, or relationship? You acquire a new perception of yourself and your world, and you forever alter your reality. What was causing you stress may no longer trigger an emotional reaction or hold your attention. Be open to changing what you can change. For those things you can’t change, learn how to change your attitude about them!
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Ten ways to minimize your stress
mental health, job performance, and your family life. Changes in your heart rate, blood pressure, stress hormones, and function of bodily organs is common.
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Take action – your limiting beliefs and lack of action immobilizes you. Listen to your inner wisdom to empower you
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Get a different vantage point – situations and problems often look scarier than they actually are. Everything flows smoother when you shift your perception.
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Relax – focus on achieving one thing at a time and watch your stress lower
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Prioritize your life – eat your frog. Do what’s hard first and the rest is downhill
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Quit worrying – get the important things done first and have fun doing them
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Take breaks – breaks throughout the day reenergize you
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Find meaning in life – do something that resonates with your soul
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Chill out – plan a day of having fun: watch a movie, visit friends, sleep in
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Laugh – It’s free, lowers stress, and impacts the giver and the receiver
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Spend time with a friend – engage in whatever puts a smile on your face
TAKING THE FIRST STEP ROCHELLE SOETAN
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hen we think of the first steps to anything, we often relate them to a baby’s first steps. This is a process of a series of developmental milestones - and sheer delight. Rarely, do we envision ourselves crawling to first base, then plodding to second base. More often than not, we challenge ourselves to run all the way to the finish line, not realizing the need to slow down, take small steps and begin again. Comparable to a toddler learning how to walk, our steps as adults bare unique similarities. For a baby, walking takes time - and effort. While a baby is building muscle in their feeble legs, they are building mental strength in their mind as well. A combined and strong desire for mobility and independence enables a toddler to take one tiny step at a time. Once toddlers get a grip on how to use their resources, they’re off and running, leaving babyhood behind. These are their first steps towards courage, confidence and independence. Like a baby’s dangling legs, sometimes the certitude of our steps remains hanging in the wind. When we are afraid and declare that some things are beyond repair, we may have a tendency to withdraw and convince ourselves that we are incapable, unequipped or cannot be bothered to fix them. Impatience gets the best of us, and we don’t wish to put in the work that is necessary. We fear all too much that an effort is going to require too much energy, or cost more than it is worth. This brings us to a halt and a fork in the road, and we may find ourselves slowly losing ground.
Balance is paramount to moving forward. Sometimes, it takes a while for us to find our balance in life in order to move in the right direction. The support we receive from friends, family and loved ones helps us to navigate through many of our most difficult and considerable episodes; however, it is through our development of faith that we become most secure. Many people have missed opportunities for growth due to fear and lack of faith. In the beginning and end - faith is what pushes us forward. Taking the first critical step to anything is the beginning of an enlightened journey. Often, it is a journey of light, courage and undeniable truth. Opportunity generates courage; courage generates willpower; willpower generates action, and action generates the first step. As you make the unyielding decision to progress in your spiritual, emotional, physical and psychological realm, you will begin to feel more empowered to move forward and less inclined to go backwards. The moment you migrate in the right direction, nothing ever stays the same. It simply cannot. The process of change commences, and step-by-step you begin to see conditions improve, courage strengthened and inner faith restored. Taking the first step forward is always the hardest, but whatever you do, don’t hesitate to act - both to cross the road and to transform your life. As you weigh whether to go backwards or forward, don’t confuse difficult with impossible. Be brave. Let go. Take the first step. Simple Steps Real Change Magazine
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Contributors ROBBIE ADKINS
CHERYL HUNTER Bestselling Author of ”Use it! Turn Setbacks into Success.” Speaker, Transformational Coach and ”The Resilience Expert.”
Artist and writer who has spent her lifetime developing useful spiritual tools. voiceofsoul.com
DEBBIE BONGIOVANN Author and Poet. Author of ”Hanging On By A Thread” a poetry book for abuse victims
successmasterycoaching.com
LINDA P. JONES As founder of the Global Institute of Wealth for Women™, Linda empowers women with confidence and skill to start a business, grow more wealth, and make a positive impact in the world.
crafterdeb53@yahoo.com
PAUL BOYNTON Paul S. Boynton is an awardwinning human services CEO who has been recognized
www.lindapjones.com
LIZ KEARNS
beginwithyes.com
Kearns Coaching & Consulting offers a variety of customized, power-boosting strategies, coaching and training programs for professionals, executives and their teams.
REGINA CATES Regina Victoria Cates, a spiritual/ personal empowerment coach, transformational author and positivity junkie.
www.kearnscoaching.com
romancingyoursoul.com
CAROL FINLAYSON
JULIE KRULL Dr. Julie is a contemporary spiritual teacher, SoulCare Practitioner, and Co-Creative Life/Business Coach, called to awaken soulful, conscious living
Coach & Author of, ”Self Esteem, ” Falling In Love with Meditation: The Power of Mindfulness in a Frantic World.” carolfinlayson.com
www.JulieKrull.com
DAVE FRESILLI Holistic Health Practitioner, CHEK Institute Certified Holistic Lifestyle Coach and Practitioner. holistichealth-fitness.com
JORDAN GRAY Inspirational Speaker, Author of “The Seventh Major Understanding– A Message of Awakening” 7thmajorunderstanding.com
CINDY HIVELY An Awakened Living Mentor,.
facebook.com/AwakeningToLifeYourTruestEssence
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GREG KUHN Author Greg Kuhn, Professional educator and a futurist, specializing in framing new paradigms for 21st Century living. “The Law of Attraction Science Guy.” Author of the ”Why Quantum Physicists” series. whyquantumphysicists.com
DEBBIE LYNN Ballet Dancer, Artist, Writer and Creator of “360 degrees project (full circle)” facebook.com/360degreesofinspiration
SUZY MANNING Suzy Manning CEO of Suzy Manning LLC. Insightful mentor, an inspirational speaker, thought-provoking author, and savvy radio show host. www.suzymanning.com
FUZZY MANNING
ROCHELLE SOETAN
Fuzzy Manning is a HeartCentered Intuitive, radio show host, author, entrepreneur and speaker. fuzzymanning.com
KATRINA MAYER
D.J. SPIVAK-FULLER
PhD. Creator of Wholarian Vision, Motivational Speaker, Author, Wellness & Longevity Advocate. katrinamayer.com
Empath, Healer & Teacher. DJ helps people shift into their body and feel the truth of their connection to self and guide them on the journey . djfullerempath.com
JON SATIN & CHRIS PATTAY THE POSSIBILITY COACHES Life and Relationship Coaches, Business Consultants, Emotional Healers, Seminar Facilitators, Authors and Entrepreneurs. possibilitycoaches.com
MARILYN HOUGH, LMFT & CHUCK SCHMITT, LMFT
Rochelle Soetan is a veteran of the literary arts, catalyst for change, and the Author and Publisher of Tuesday Morning Love. tuesdaymorningove.com
The Relationship Specialists, Marilyn Hough and Chuck Schmitt, are inspirational teachers who share their knowledge to inspire others to live their best life relationshipspecialists.com
JANET D. THOMAS Janet D. Thomas is an engaging writer and captivating speaker whose words inspire and motivate, energizing transformation in those who experience her. www.janetdthomas.com
JOSH UBALDI Personal and business coach, professionally trained actor and author of ”The Successful Actors Guide to Los Angeles.” successmasterycoaching.com
SANDI SCHWARTZ M.S. International Children and Parenting Expert. Educator, author, radio show host and motivational speaker.
SHANN VANDER-LEEK Founder of True Balance International and Co-Founder of Anxiety Slayer. Author of ”Life on Your Terms.”
sanditeaches.com shannvanderleek.com
DEB SCOTT Deb Scott, BA, CPC is four time Award Winning Author in SelfHelp, Motivation, Deb is an Award Winning Radio Host for Best Podcaster, & Top Rated Radio Host of The Best People We Know Show on Blog Talk Radio.
ELLEN WHITEHURST International inspirational expert and bestselling author. Ellen Whitehurst is a magazine columnist, speaker and coach
www.ellenwhitehurst.com
greenskyandbluegrass.com
DON SHAPIRO Teri Williams “Soul-cial Connector”, Visionary at SoulcialMedia.com and The Bliss Network. Host of Soulful Living at Empower Radio and shares her energy healing techniques as a Shamanic Reiki Practitioner. www.donshapiro.com
TERI WILLIAMS Speaker, management consultant and co-author of “The Character-Based Leader.” Currently writing a book, “Life Is a Fork in the Road,” about how to make better choices and follow our inner wisdom to navigate our journey through life. TeriGriffinWilliams.com
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