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spring 2013
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Issue
#01
this issue
Simple Steps Real Change
q Relationships q Mind, body, spirit q Change q awareness
Practical Advice for Real Life by a New Generation of Inspirational Leaders
The Perfection of Our Stories Use Your Story to its Fullest Without it Using You
Just Take a Breath... a Mind Breath Bring Yourself back to Center The Building Blocks of Health & Fitness Nurture your Body with a Few Easy Steps Viewing Life through the Lens of Possibility From Welfare Mom to Inspirational Catalyst Support ~ Encouragement ~ Inspiration | www.simplestepsrealchange.com
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Simple steps real change magazine spring 2013
contents Relationships 06 Awakening to the Power of Relationships, Jon Satin & Chris Pattay, The Possibility Coaches 14 Romance Made Simple, Marilyn Hough & Chuck Schmitt, The Relationship Specialists
Regular 03 From the Editor 04 In this Issue 04 Resources 05 Sponsors 24 Reflections 28 Book Reviews 39 Contributors
Change 17 32
Building a Bridge to Simplicity, Rochelle Soetan A Droplet of Courage, Jordan Gray
Awareness 10
Body 18
The Building Blocks of Health & Fitness, Dave Fresilli
Mind 09 21 36 38
Ask for Help, Amanda Owen A Different View - Be Childlike, Debbie Lynn Just Take a Breath (A Mind Breath), Cindy Hively Play to Your Strength, Mary Parkin
Spirit 16 30
Inner Joy, Teri Williams Your Higher Self, Robbie Adlins
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25 26 34
7 Surprising Reasons You Keep Creating Chaos, Bonni Lonnsbury Viewing Life through the Lens of Possibility, Linda Joy People Have Choices, Sue Trumbo-Forner The Perfection of Our Stories, Josh Ubaldi Staying Fluffy, Regina Cates
simple steps real change magazine spring 2013
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from the editor Publisher Simple Speps Real Change
Welcome
EDITORIAL Editor: Cheryl Maloney DESIGN Creative Director: Jack Maloney ADVERTISING Sales and Marketing: Amber Durkin
A
re you ready for a new approach to old problems? Have you been there, done that, and it still hasn’t worked? Are you ready to hear the message that’s going to change your life forever?
GENERAL INQUIRIES Address PO Box 954 Camas, WA 98607 Phone: 503 830-0587 Email: simplesteps@icloud.com Website: ssrcmagazine
Welcome to the inaugural issue of Simple Steps Real Change Magazine! If you missed the byline we’re providing practical advice for real life from a new generation of inspirational leaders. What I’ve discovered in the three and half years since I started writing Simple Steps Real Change is that there are thousands of wonderfully inspirational people working to make this world and your life better. Although we are all connected… our journeys, experiences and beliefs are different. What speaks to one of us may not speak to another. Simple Steps Real Change Magazine delivers positivity and inspiration from diverse writers, visionaries and passionate souls.
it you’ll move beyond your challenges and begin to live your dreams. We welcome your feedback on what you like, what you’d like to see more of, and what you’d like to see us do differently. And now let’s begin this new adventure… Together. With love and gratitude,
It is my hope that within these pages you will find the message that encourages you to take a Simple Step in a direction that makes you happier. Because when you take that one step you gain a new perspective, clarity and a desire to take another Simple Step. Before you know
Cheryl Maloney Publisher & Editor, Simple Steps Real Change Magazine
simple steps real change magazine spring 2013
COPYRIGHT All material appearing in Simple Steps Real Change Magazine is copyright unless otherwise stated or it may rest with the provider of the supplied material. Simple Steps Real Change Magazine takes all care to ensure information is correct at time of publishing, but the publisher accepts no responsibility or liability for the accuracy of any information contained in the text or advertisements. Views expressed are not necessarily endorsed by the publisher or editor. Nothing within this publication dispenses medical advice or prescribes the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional or medical problems. It is at the sole discretion of the reader to seek the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the magazine is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself, which is your constitutional right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.
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Simple steps real change magazine spring 2013
In This Issue
T
by Cheryl Maloney
oday, did you do anything differently?
•
Jordan Gray, author and channel for Joshua, shares
Today, did you notice anything different?
his teacher’s encouragement to lead with love in
Today
“Have A Droplet of Courage.”
are
you
experiencing
similar
problems or stress that you always have? •
Perhaps it’s time to take a new look at how you are
Teri Williams, “The Bliss Lady” shows you “How to Connect With Your Inner Joy.”
creating your own reality. When was the last time you were willing to listen to someone who suggested you
•
Marilyn
Hough
and
Chuck
Schmitt,
The
try something a little different than what you’ve always
Relationship Specialists, encourages us to “Keep
done?
Romance Simple.”
Simple Steps Real Change Magazine was created to
•
Josh Ubaldi, Transformational Life Coach, helps
assist you in getting to a better place in life. Where that
you to use your “story” to your advantage in “The
place is… is totally up to you. We are bringing together
Perfection of Our Stories.”
a new generation of inspirational leaders with fresh and sometimes unique perspectives, ideas and energy.
•
Linda Joy, Publisher of Aspire Magazine, helps us
We each receive our messages differently so the more
find our focus in “Viewing Life through the Lens
voices we share the more lives we can touch positively.
of Possibility.”
Here is a sampling of what you will discover in this issue:
And there is so much more!
•
Boni Lonnsburry, Author of the soon to be
Those who have come together to share their ideas
published book, “The Map. To Our Responsive
with you have been where you are. It always helps
Universe - Where Dreams Really Do Come True!,”
to know that you are not alone in what you’re going
shares the “7 Surprising Reasons You Keep
through. While no two lives are identical there are
Creating Chaos.” If you’re ready to release the
enough similarities to take their experiences and use
drama in your life this is the article to read.
what works for you.
Dave Fresilli, Holistic Health Practitioner and
When we share the wisdom of one... we help another.
Certified Personal Trainer takes a back to basics
And the ripples of positivity that ensue change the lives
and introduces you to “The Building Blocks of
of many. And together we change the world!
•
Health.”
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Awakening to the POWER of Relationships by Jon Satin and Chris Pattay The Possibility Coaches
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elationships are the core of all existence. Without them, there could be no life on Earth as we know it. Every physical form is so interrelated to every other physical form. The intricacies of this network is so complex that we could spend several lifetimes trying to figure it all out. To simplify the very idea of relationships and how they operate is best viewed when we look at nature. Animals are dependent on other animals. Plants depend on the air, the water and other plants. Animals and plants are interrelated and dependent on each other. Within these infinite number of relationships and amongst all of this glory of life is the relationship between you, us and everyone in-between. From our perspective, healthy human relationships are the core for the survival of planet Earth. Ultimately, complete global peace and greater care of our environment are the end results that will enable our world to thrive. This requires big changes and huge successes, both physically and spiritually, on a world-wide scale. The truth is, however; that small successes, compounded over time, create big results. We all have the potentiality when it comes to saving our planet. We can look at this as a daunting, perhaps insurmountable task. From another perspective, it may seem too grand, and even unrealistic. At best, a pipe dream for some future Utopia.
We do not have to spend our days wishing and hoping for a brighter future. The time is now for relationships between nations, as well as between individuals, to become peaceful and harmonious in nature. We can start today. Here and now. Each of us can begin in this moment to change the world. We can do it one step at a time. We begin by evaluating all of the human relationships we are currently involved in. This includes the ones we have with other people, and most important, the one we are having with ourselves. To turn any dream or aspiration into a reality requires courage and risk-taking. Changing the world is no exception. It requires us to take full responsibility for who we are, what we say and do and for the current condition of all of our personal and professional relationships.
‘‘The truth is, healthy relationships are
essential to what we call “authentic success.’ ’’ For each of us, the physical world we see is like a gigantic mirror. It always reflects back to us our dominant thoughts, beliefs, feelings and emotions. What we see is a result of what we project. Our world is the screen. On that screen is a movie. We each script it, produce it, direct it and even act in it. If you are unhappy with ‘the plot’ and the cast of characters in
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your life, then perhaps it is time for a re-write of your script. The quickest, most efficient way to change the world you see is to begin to be more open, willing and vulnerable to healing your life through the relationships you may consider unhealthy or unstable. To assist you to improve any relationship, we would like to offer some suggestions that can cut out a lot of potential frustration, anguish and hopelessness. Tip #1: Be open and willing to stop trying to ‘fix’ and ‘save’ other people. If you are in the habit of trying to fix and save people be open and willing to give this up now! Do not expect anyone else to change because you want them to. If you are carrying a ‘I’ll be happy and at peace when (s)he changes’ belief, you are going to wait a very long time...even a lifetime, for that to happen.
Wanting someone to change for self-gratification is an emotionally exhausting process. It creates stress and frustration, as well as physical disease. It is really about a need to control. Ultimately, the desire for someone else to change so we can be happy interferes with our Life learning process. In the end no one gains the wisdom required to be truly happy. This wisdom is programmed in to each relationship that affects our well-being. Instead of wanting other people to change for you, focus on YOU and how you can make an uplifting contribution to all of your relationships. Start by blessing all of your relationships, past and present, good or bad. When you do this you instantly have a more positive impact on the world. While going through this new process, you may also uncover some aspects of yourself that you
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may not like very much. Be okay with who you are! There is always room for change. Creating change from within is a conscious choice that we each can make if we want to improve the quality of all of our relationships. To create personal changes may we suggest that you consider having a closer and deeper relationship with yourself. Tip #2: Get to know yourself now! If you truly desire more intimacy in your personal relationships begin by focusing on developing an intimate relationship with yourself. The truth is, if you are challenged being intimate with you, how can you expect to be intimate with someone else? Get to know you by going on a date with yourself. Spend alone time. Journal your thoughts about what you love about you. Begin to enjoy your own company! To improve the global scale of relationships begins at home, with each of us contributing our share for positive change. Gandhi said, ‘Be the change you want to see.’ This is especially relevant when it comes to the state of our relationships. To improve and awaken to the power of our relationships requires each of us to lead by example. Strong, healthy relationships are the result of giving our focused attention to our feelings, emotions and energy levels directly linked to the relationships themselves.
building blocks of life; however, they are often forfeited or destroyed in the name of personal needs or gratification and even for what some may call ‘success.’ The truth is, healthy relationships are essential to what we call ‘authentic success.’ To completely understand this concept, consider Tip #3: To have healthy relationships, it is important to accept that you are unique and so is everyone else. Yet, simultaneously, knowing we are all interconnected to everyone and everything. To experience this idea of uniqueness and interconnectedness simply requires a shift in how you look at things. Recall that your life and world is the movie you created. You can edit and re-write the storyline as you choose. We are each the small successes on the big stage called Earth. Again small successes, compounded over time, can create some awesome results. To achieve results requires commitment, fortitude, courage and a willingness to play the Game of Life. The Game of Life cannot be played out to its full beauty and grandeur without our consent. All, truly healthy, mature relationships, must contain consenting adults. We believe it is time for each of us to take responsibility to awaken to the roles we are intended to play to save our species and our planet. We can only do so by strengthening all of our relationships.
Jon Satin MBA &
To improve our life and our world requires us to consciously aim to put our heart and soul in to each and every relationship, because your relationships always reflect the heart and soul of who you think you are and who you potentially can become. All relationships, as we mentioned earlier, are the
Chris Pattay BBA
The Possibility Coaches
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Ask for Help by Amanda Owen
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Simple Step: Ask for Help
Maria watched her car float away and flood-waters sweep through her house. Self-employed with a first-floor home office, her livelihood and ability to take care of her daughter depended on having access to the files, papers, and equipment that were now ruined. She didn’t have a clue about how she would rebuild their lives. That would come later once Hurricane Sandy’s storm surge receded. Within days of the storm, a friend set up an online account for people to give money to Maria. But as the money poured in, Maria felt conflicted. What could she do to return the favor? She had lost almost everything of material value, was camped out at her brother’s house, and faced an uncertain future. She needed money. But that need collided with a cultural paradigm that elevates a giver and feels sorry for a recipient. As someone who had created a successful business, she was used to relying on herself and felt good about what she had built. She didn’t want anyone to feel sorry for her. The reality is that we all will be or have already been in a situation where we need help, whether because of a natural disaster, an illness, a loss of mobility due to aging, or for numerous other reasons. It’s a shame that in addition to needing assistance, we feel distressed by having to rely on someone other than ourselves. Twice traumatized—first by needing help and then by receiving it. Even if you would rather do everything by yourself, your fellow human beings help you all of the time in countless ways. They make the food you eat and the clothes you wear. They let you go first at the stop sign and offer inspiration that gets you through your day. But because receiving is not valued, you may refuse assistance or worry that accepting help will put you in an uncomfortable situation. Yet, even if you resist asking people for help, do you feel perfectly fine asking God, guardian angels, relatives who have crossed over, or the universe for help? Doesn’t it make sense that, whether or not you believe in any of the above, people are the best way to get that help to you? I believe we should make a special point on one day each week to ask people for help. I even have a name for it: “Ask a Mortal Day.” It will remind us that we are all in this together and that being helped is as natural and as important as helping others. Maria did end up accepting the money with gratitude. She reminded herself that she has helped people throughout her life and would continue to do so. You know how good you feel when you help someone in need. Look for opportunities for people to do the same for you. Say “yes” when they offer. Institute a once-a-week “Ask a Mortal Day”—a simple step that brings real and lasting change. Amanda Owen Author, Counselor, Coach, Speaker
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7 Surprising Reasons You Keep Creating Chaos by Boni Lonnsburry
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eah, you say you want your life to settle down and have things work out for you. But week after week, month after month, year after year, there might be different players, different facts, but it’s always the same old story. You may as well face it—chaos, for you dear friend, is a way of life.
I know this one. I lived this one. And I moved beyond this one. You can too. But you need to understand why you keep creating chaos in your life, before you can create it’s opposite—elegance, ease, success and peace. Take a look at these seven reasons we tend to create chaos-filled lives, and see if one or several of them ring true. If so, commit to healing and moving beyond them. The reasons you may be keeping chaos around: IT’S YOUR STORY I recently connected with an old childhood friend on Facebook. I was happy to be reconnected to her, but soon regretted the connection. She is steeped in stories (with great detail in her posts) about her “unfortunate” luck. Surgeries botched, health problems galore, failed romance upon failed romance…this woman has nothing but tales of woe. And yet, surprisingly, her other “post of choice” is gratitude. Clearly my friend knew something about counting blessings, but more often than not, she “talked the talk” but didn’t “walk the walk”. The “story” of her life, to the world and to herself, is “Oh, poor me…” I’m sure my friend doesn’t realize the impact her “stories” are having on her reality. But I’ve known people who do know the impact these kind of stories have, and yet they still tell stories of “Oh, poor me…”—seemingly oblivious to the energy they are exuding (and the chaos-filled reality they are creating).
What to do about it: If you find yourself telling tales of misfortune at every opportunity…stop. Catch yourself before you utter a word, ideally. And instead tell tales of success. At first it won’t be easy. You’ll be so steeped in looking for the negative you’ll have a hard time finding the positive. But look for it. Tell a story (even if only to yourself) every single day, of something wonderful that happened during the day.
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It doesn’t have to be big. It can be as inconsequential as, “I really enjoyed my shower today.” Or “Those strawberries I had for breakfast were super sweet.” Or, “That was the funniest TV show I’ve seen all month.” The more you practice, the more you’ll have to tell. What you focus on is what you draw into your reality—so before you know it you’ll be hard pressed to find anything “wrong” in your life at all! IT’S YOUR IDENTITY How we think ofourselves becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. And once we
start down a path of identifying ourselves as unfortunate, struggling victims, it becomes hard to pull ourselves out of it. Why? Because the self-identity calls to us more reasons to feel that way. Those new chaos-filled realities reinforce our identity and the vicious cycle continues. But the “victim” identity isn’t the only one that keeps us in chaos. The “fixer” identity does too. Every “fixer” needs something to fix—so creating chaos and crisis (unconsciously of course) is a must for “fixers”, who specialize in “coming to the rescue”.
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This doesn’t necessarily mean you have one identity or the other. You could have a “victim” identity with your parents (I know I did with my father…it was the only dynamic we had) and a “fixer” identity with your children or friends.
What to do about it: Recognize you identify with being the victim, being the rescuer or both. Forgive yourself for that. And begin to see (and feel) yourself as one “who lives an easy, elegant, struggle-free life”, and who doesn’t get caught up in whatever chaos is happening around you.
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Practice “compassionate detachment” when those you love are feeling challenged. You can care without jumping (emotionally) into the chaos others are creating. Yes, it will be difficult to do in the beginning. And it may not feel real. But if you stick with it, even a few minutes each day, it will start to feel real. And once it starts to feel real, your reality will begin to respond, and eventually it will be real. A note on this: You may not be able to shift another’s choice to create chaos in their life. What you can shift is your response to their creation. Coupling that with holding a vision for them in an easy, elegant, peaceful and successful life is all you can do. You can’t make the choice for them.
What to do about it: Again, first forgive yourself. Then commit to finding the excitement and attention (or whatever other payoff you might be receiving) elsewhere. Talk about the “bad” things that happen only on a “need to know basis”. Instead find only “good” things to talk to people about. Again, this will seem difficult at first. But it will get easier.
‘‘Begin to see (and feel) yourself as one who lives an easy, elegant, struggle-free life.’’ YOU REALLY DON’T THINK YOU HAVE A CHOICE You can recognize this one as yours if your initial response to the article was something like, “Boy I’d like to stop creating chaos in my life—but that’s ridiculous—chaos and crisis just happen!” In fact, they don’t just happen. We create them happening. Not by consciously making them happen, but by unconsciously letting them happen.
What to do about it: If this even slightly rings true, you probably have a belief like: “I do not create 100% of my reality.” Simply change it to: “I do create 100% of my reality.” And watch your world transform!
YOU (SECRETLY) LIKE IT Ah, don’t breeze by this one too fast, my friend. If you didn’t like at least an aspect of the chaos you create, you wouldn’t be creating it. What on earth is there to like about chaos? Well the excitement for one. Yes, you could do without the flat tire, the never-ending head cold, the leaky roof, the family crisis, the trips to the ER with the kids, but there is something in the excitement of it you may enjoy. Wait…you mean I’m creating my kids being hurt? No, they are. But, lets just say you aren’t helping matters when you are not proactively creating peace and ease. Another reason you might keep chaos around is, it gets your attention. You can tell if this might be your “payoff” if you can’t wait to tell your friends, family and co-workers about the “bad” things that happen. I know, not pretty. But don’t worry. There is a way out.
YOU BELIEVE YOU DESERVE IT This is another one you might blow by too quickly. Of course your conscious, adult “self” doesn’t believe you deserve chaos and crisis in your life. But there may be a part of you, perhaps the part of you that is still only 5 years old, that doesn’t believe they deserve ease, elegance, joy and peace.
What to do about it: Again, change the belief. The belief might be, “I don’t deserve a wonderful magical life.” Change it to, “I do deserve a wonderful magical life.” Belief changing is much easier than you might imagine. And your reality will absolutely respond. YOU HAVE NOTHING TO REPLACE IT WITH Lets face it, if you take away the chaos from life you might be left with your “same old boring life”. Again, this is probably not a conscious motivation. We all create from our unconscious selves until we become conscious of the energy we are emitting in the form of thoughts, feelings and beliefs.
What to do about it: Begin to dream, my friend. Create some positive, exciting
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realities so you won’t need chaos to fill the void. Just dreaming some positive futures will help diminish the energy that currently goes to creating chaos. What if you don’t know what to dream? No worries. Start with knowing how you want to feel. How will peace feel? Safety? Joy? Abundance? Success? Start feeling those feelings. Feelings create your world. SUCCESS SCARES THE HECK OUT OF YOU Ah, there it is, eh? Well, my friend, you are not alone. Lets face it; we all know failure, crisis and chaos far too well. But like old, worn furniture, it’s comfortable and familiar. If you dream too big, too far from this “known life”, why, anything could happen!
What to do about it: Yes, anything could happen, if you allow it to. But you won’t create amazing new futures unless you take a look at that fear and handle it. What does that look like? It looks like really thinking through the consequences of your dream, writing them down, figuring out what beliefs are behind those fears and changing them. Then, decide what the consequence of your dreams manifesting will be. If you can manifest the dream you can manifest the consequences of that dream. Remember, creating your current life took years, decades perhaps. Creating a life filled with ease, elegance, peace, safety, success and love will take time too. You don’t have to do it all today. But begin today. Set an intention today. Make a commitment today. Like it or not, the chaos in your life is your creation. And that is good news. Because if it you created it, you can change it.
Boni Lonnsburry
Master Creationist and Author
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Romance Made Simple by Marilyn Hough, LMFT and Chuck Schmitt, LMFT
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hen you think of love and romance, what’s the first thing that comes to your mind? Is it roses and chocolates, a romantic moonlight walk on the beach, a candlelight dinner, breakfast in bed? Or is it a much simpler gesture that brings a smile to your face? What’s the most romantic thing your partner ever did for you? Did you tingle all the way down to your toes? What made the effort so special? Romance is an interesting term. It often conjures up pictures of grand gestures… of champagne and caviar or romantic weekend getaways. But what is romance, really? Romance is a way of showing your partner that you care, that you are thinking about them. It allows them to feel cherished. There is no specific formula. So often women express the desire for romance. “I just want to feel loved,” they lament. Their partner normally responds with a blank stare. Several thoughts race through his mind. First, I have no clue what she’s talking about. We’ve been together forever. Doesn’t she know that I love her? Second, I’m not Brad Pitt. I cannot whisk her off to some beachfront haven and sip umbrella drinks out of a pineapple all day. Third, I do what I can but she never appreciates any of my attempts. The result is a stalemate. Neither party knows what to do to get their needs met. There are several misconceptions tied up in this topic making it difficult to discuss. What to do? Start by expressing your desire to understand your partner. Let go of all the preconceived ideas about romance and what hasn’t worked in the past. Start from square one with the intent of listening and putting yourself in your partner’s shoes so that you can really understand what they are trying to express. Don’t judge. Don’t blame. Don’t defend. Listen. Pretend you just met and are trying to glean every bit of information possible so that you can win their heart. Men, ask her what would make her feel loved. Women, tell
him what makes you feel special. This is actually a big part of the problem. Women feel that their partner should know what would make them happy, then get upset when their expectations are not met. Men want to meet their partner’s expectations but are not mind readers. They get frustrated and shut down when they do not know what to do to make you happy. Women get disappointed, even angry, at their partner’s inability to give them what they need. It’s a vicious circle. He withdraws because she’s angry and she interprets his retreat as an indication that he doesn’t care, and then feels hurt.
‘‘Romance is something simple and sweet that reminds your partner why they fell in love with you in the first place.’’ There is a way to end this cycle. First, you need to understand a basic principle that is not believed by the majority of women. Namely, most men want to make their partner happy. Sometimes that is hard to accept, but it is true. They simply do not know how to accomplish that goal. They think they are doing a pretty good job until they are told otherwise. As for women, they often think that if their partner loved them they would know exactly what to do to make them happy. If they need to tell them, something
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must be wrong. This simply is not the case. Ask 10 women what makes them feel loved and you will get 10 different answers. One may feel loved when their husband brings home flowers, another with a morning kiss, another with an unexpected ‘I love you’ text during the day... and it goes on. We are all different. We all appreciate different expressions of love. Women, you can start by telling your partner what makes you feel loved. Even if you’ve expressed your desires before, be patient and tell him again. Do not get hung up on the fact that you had to tell him what you like. Most men need (and appreciate) this guidance. Do not let this fact diminish, in your eyes, his desire to please you. Give him examples to go along with your request. If receiving flowers makes you feel loved, tell him. If you love orchids, but hate roses, tell him. Be specific. Do not expect him to know this. And let him know what it is about getting flowers that makes your heart sing. If, like most women, it is because you feel he is thinking loving thoughts about you when he stops to pick them up, tell him that. It may sound strange, but we actually had a woman ask her husband for flowers and he added them to their weekly shopping list! He did not understand that the part of the gesture that made her feel loved was him actually thinking about her and expressing that by his gift. Note: this is not as uncommon as you might think. Men, you could start the ball rolling by asking your partner what makes her feel loved. Don’t just ask her for a list, have a conversation about it. Really listen. Let her tell you what she appreciates receiving from you and why. Try to put yourself in her shoes and understand what she is saying. You could also pay attention to what she likes and make
a mental note or write it down. Then, when special occasions arise, you could go to your notes for ideas. For example, one man saw his wife admire a beautiful holiday ornament while they were out shopping. She felt it was a little too expensive and did not buy it. He returned to the store, purchased the ornament and gave it to her on Christmas morning. She was delighted! Another man remembered his wife’s disappointment that she could no longer find a particular European soap that she loved. He found it online and ordered several bars. Imagine her joy when she opened the gift. Now, whenever she uses the soap, she remembers his thoughtfulness… it’s the gift that keeps on giving. The truth is, we all want to feel loved and we all feel loved in different ways. The key to a loving relationship is communication, letting your partner know what makes you happy. Imagine getting what you want and having that loving feelings growing again. Romance is about keeping your love alive, showing your partner you’re thinking about them. There are no limits. Romance is something simple and sweet that reminds your partner why they fell in love with you in the first place. (Women, if your partner is not reading this, print it out and leave it where he will see it…)
Marilyn Hough, LMFT & Chuck Schmitt, LMFT.
The Relationship Specialists
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Some Additional Suggestions:
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The gifts you give should be something the receiver likes and wants. Just because you might like a sweatshirt with a sports team logo does not necessarily mean your partner would appreciate the gift.
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Not many women like gifts that help them do housework. Translation: vacuums, irons, and blenders are not normally considered romantic gifts.
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Do not ignore simple gestures… a steaming hot cup of tea or her favorite cookie, a note on the bathroom mirror that says I love you, a neck massage… whatever makes her happy.
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INNER
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How to connect with your inner joy by Teri Williams
econnecting with our inner joy, your soul self, is essential to creating peace in our lives and living a more soulful experience. It’s where we find our true happiness. You don’t need a 10 day vacation in the islands to hear her voice. (Okay, I admit that would be really nice right now). You can start tuning into your soul’s voice by practicing these 6 steps. For me, they have become a natural part of my everyday life. •
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Breathe deep at least 3 times per day - Stop whatever you are doing and take 3 deep, slow purposeful breaths - filling your lungs with oxygen and your soul with life. This brings a sense of inner tranquility and can soothe away any tension. Take a 15 minute walk, preferably in nature - Simply walk at a pace that feels comfortable to you. Pay attention to the ebb and flow of the natural world. There is a sweet sensation that comes over us when we observe the synchronicity of life through animals and plants. Laugh, laughter feeds the soul - Watch your favorite comedy, write down and relive the funniest thing that ever happened to you or simply sit and laugh. Laughter helps you take things light heartedly and is one of the best forms of medicine. Bonus...it’s FREE! Listen to music everyday - Turn on your favorite tunes and listen. Sing if it makes you feel good, out loud if you can. Focusing on music can reduce pain, decrease depression and create a sense of calm. Practice gratitude - Look forward to every day and be grateful for each moment. In any given minute we can find something to be grateful for; sometimes we simply don’t see it. Start a gratitude journal, share with your friends what you are thankful for, including them, practice saying, “Thank you” more often. Of course, Smile! No explanation needed!
Practicing these simple steps often can make your life a little lighter. Creating room in your life for daily “soul care” is essential to living a Simple Soulful Life. “Thank you” for being here. I offer a deep bow and smile for you!
‘‘Happiness resides not in possessions, and not in gold, happiness dwells in the soul.’’ - Democritus
Teri Williams Speaker, Coach, Radio Show Host
simple steps real change magazine spring 2013
Building Your
www.facebook. com/360degreesofinspiration
To Simplicity by Rochelle Soetan
C
omplex, amalgamated, demanding – describe the custom of many of our everyday lives. We live in busy times, with busy careers, busy family lives, busy all-around. Rarely do we slow the pace to breathe and take inventory of what needs refocusing. We yearn for stability while identifying the necessities for change, but how do we keep self-improvement simple?
‘‘Bad habits are hard to break and developing new ones can take time and perseverance’’ Bad habits are hard to break and developing new ones can take time and perseverance. Deep-seated habits are like heavy rocks that weigh us down. By simplifying many of those habits we can make our load a little lighter. Why try to push a rock uphill when you can carry a small stone up a mountain? Your survival is symptomatic of that very small stone. Improving your life is, in itself, a habit. William Makepeace Thackeray once wrote: Sow a thought and reap an act; So an act and reap a habit; Sow a habit and reap a character; Sow a character and reap a destiny.
To reap the destiny you really want, below are some basic steps that can help you along the way. •
Breathe low, slow, and deep, and appreciate your journey of becoming.
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Keep a light-hearted perspective and a sense of humor.
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Understand that small changes have significant effects.
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Simplify the tools. Minimize the drama. Discharge the negativity.
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Let go of resistance and focus on modifying one habit at a time.
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Be kind to yourself, and try again, and again if need be.
Any single bridge isn’t built in a day, it takes time. The single step approach to selfimprovement should inspire you to seek more balance in your life – balance between the journey and the destination, between improving yourself and accepting the person you already are. The road to peacefulness is a timeless quest for purposeful selfimprovement; a simple, powerful, sustainable bridge to a better you.
Rochelle Soetan Author and Publisher
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The Building Blocks of
Health and Fitness
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by David E. Fresilli
ur bodies are amazing. Do you realize within each of us lays the body’s innate ability to heal itself?
All we have to do is simply nurture our bodies with a few easy steps, and our bodies will do the rest. I first learned of these 6 Foundational principles for Health at “The CHEK Institute” during holistic lifestyle courses, and thoroughly encourage anyone interested in a deeper understanding to do the same. “First Things First” as my Dad always said, so let us start at the top. Paradigms - Did you know that your mind is actually designed to create your results in life? Most of us walk around thinking we are a slave to circumstance, but in reality once you learn the process, creating what you want in life becomes almost second nature. We will focus our attentions to health and wellness, but understand this works with every part of your life. Step 1. Decide what it is you want your health and fitness to feel and look like. Step 2. Visualize with deep emotional attachment already having this health and fitness Step 3. Daily Affirmations with joyful emotions of what it feels like to already have this health and wellness. Step 4. Live as if you already have this health and fitness. Bob Proctor; The goal Achiever; Life Success Productions; 2003.
This will set up a vibration in your body that will radiate out to the universe. You are literally
telling the universal consciousness or God what it is you want in life. “Ask and you shall receive.” Things, circumstances, people, ideas, will then begin to flow to you. “God helps those who help themselves.” It is your job to look, listen, feel, and be open to these opportunities. When they present themselves, don’t hesitate, act upon them. Take that step that is being offered to you, or you know you should do! It will lead you to the next step and the next, until you reach your goal. You are being given the help you have asked for, you must take the opportunity being given.
‘‘Did you know that your mind is actually designed to create your results in life?’’ Breath – the Diaphragmatic Breath is so important to the health of the body and mind. Find time each day to sit in a quiet place, and breathe through the nose. Allow the stomach to fill, and the chest to expand and rise. Hold a slight pause at the top, and then exhale through the nose, with a additional pause at the bottom. Throughout this exercise it is important to quiet your thoughts. Follow your breath in and out, and feel the breath move through your body. This will begin to retrain your brain how to breathe diaphragmatically. The more you practice, the easier breathing becomes. This relaxed breathing allows the body to move into a parasympathetic state, and in doing so inhibits stress and the damage stress has on the body. As you become more
contemporary Simple steps real changemagazine magazine month spring 20XX 2013
comfortable with diaphramatic breathing you can begin to integrate the process into your everyday life. Roshi Philip Kapleau; The Three Pillars of Zen; Anchor Books; 1989
Water, water, water. You know where I’m going with this already, don’t you? My gosh look at yourself, where would you be without water. Water is critical to every body function down to the cellular level. The noticable effects of dehydration begin as soon as 2% body weight is lost. I weight 168 lbs so 2% is 3.36 lbs of water. That’s just over a quart, and believe it or not that is not a lot. The quick and easy fix is to begin your day with at least 16 ounce of water and possibly up to a quart. Then spread it out throughout the day. Eight ounces every hour or so, (that’s easy.) Bring a quart water bottle with you or even two. Here’s another tip. Drink 8 -16 ounces of water 30 minutes before each meal. This helps in digestion and will satiate your appetite so you won’t over eat. One of the many benefits of water is detoxification. Your skin will look much healthier when you are not overburdened with toxins and dehydrated. Guys might not care about looking like the Marlboro Man but I bet every woman does! By the way coffee (a diuretic), alcohol, sugar, (including all those sodas, diet or not), will have a similar aging effect, on the skin and body. I’m just sayin. Dr. F. Batmanghelidj; Your Body’s Many Cries for Water; Global Health Solutions;1995.
Food is medicine. It can promote healing or lead to illness and disease. What you eat is critical to your health. Eat the bad kind of foods, or too much of even the good kind, and you are setting yourself up for health challenges. It’s all about giving the body what it NEEDS, not what you want.
‘‘Food is medicine. It can promote healing or lead to illness and disease. What you eat is critical to your health.’’ I tell all my clients, when it comes to food “Go back to the Old Time Farm.” All the food you consume should be free from synthetic hormones, antibiotics, synthetic industrialized fertilizers, herbicides, rodenticides, and fungicides. They should not be GMO (Genetically Modified). Animals and fowl should be free range grass-fed, or wild game. Fish should be wild caught, not farm raised. Stay clear of all preservatives, additives, natural flavors (very deceiving) or artificial flavor. All are foreign to your gut, and your liver (the poor thing has to filter it all as best it can) and will build up over time causing issues, and intolerances. The long term effects of GMO foods are unkown at his time, but science is already seeing noticeable health issues. Paul Chek; How to Eat Move and Be Healthy; The Chek Institute, 2003.
Exercise. Come on, get out and move that body. “Move it or lose it” is so true. Exercise comes in all forms, from gentle modalities such as Tia Chi and Chi Gong, to high intensity workouts, and everything in between. It is important to remember that how you begin and what you chose for exercise depends on your overall health and condition. It is recommend you consult your doctor first before starting any exercise program. Once done, I would suggest seeking out a qualified personal trainer to guide you. Postural correction, stretching and exercise selection along with all its variables must be designed for you and your needs, not what everyone else is doing. Following the crowd can often lead to disapointing results, and injury. As dad would say, “If you’re going to do it, do it right.”
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what’s on
Sleep. Who doesn’t love to sleep? Why then are so many of us suffering from not getting enough quality sleep? We always suffer for it the next day. Sleep is critical for our bodies because it is during our sleep that the body repairs and rebuilds. Remember I mentioned that our bodies have the innate ability to heal themselves? Well, much of this healing occurs during our sleep. So if you are not getting quality sleep, you are robbing the body of precious healing time.
Sleep is critical for our
Dave Fresilli, HLC, CES, PES, CPT Holistic Health Practitioner, Certified
bodies because
Health; The Holistic Lifestyle Coach 1, 2; Paul Chek,
For starters getting to bed by 10 pm and waking at 6am will help. In general terms 10pm to 2am (during non REM cycles) the body is repairing and rebuilding tissue growth, muscles and organs. Then from 2am to 6am (during REM cycles) the body shifts over to brain function. So give your body the rest it needs and it will give you the health you deserve.
2003.
Paul Chek; How to Eat Move and Be Healthy;
Bob Proctor; The goal Achiever; Life Success
The Chek Institute, 2003.
it is during our sleep that the body repairs and rebuilds
Sources Paul Chek; The 6 Foundational Principles for
Personal Trainer.
Productions; 2003. Roshi Philip Kapleau; The three Pillars Of Zen; Anchor Books; 1989. Dr. F. Batmanghelidj; Your Body’s Many Cries for Water; Global Health Solutions;1995.
Life is about expressing our passions and living to our full potential. Creating real health and fitness in our lives will give us the vehicle to do this.
Paul Chek; How to Eat Move and Be Healthy; The Chek Institute, 2003
I wish for all of you Vibrant Health!
www.empowerradio.com
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A Different View Be Childlike
F
by Debbie Lynn
rom an early age we are told to do this, be that, to like or not to like certain things and never to question. Simultaneously, we are told to be unique but we must to tow the line. Do you find these directives completely confusing? You are not alone. Sometimes it isn’t what we know, it is what we have learned from sources outside our self that do the most damage and completely hold us back. A different view… To unload and to abandon past concepts; to fully energize and awaken our understanding that has quietly fallen asleep… This is where unraveling what we were taught to do, to be, and to feel, releases the heart and the mind so it can embrace what we were all born with, our inner knowing. When we are “seeking”, many times (because of Spiritual immaturity) we lose sight of what is right in front of us, in us, and with us all the time. We look outside our self. The haunting voice of “should” shows up as we compare, test, and attempt to mimic what “should” actually looks like. We try what others have tried, read what they read, buy what they buy and don’t get the same results. Why do we think we can replicate anything? It seems so obvious that we can’t. Yet it floods the mind back to the early stages of what if and once again relying on what we were told to do, not what we truly feel. This is all
backwards and a true source of our disconnect. When you bring the memory of your natural abilities to the surface it can ignite the openness and the love of the childlike mind. It sparks the trust in your heart as you are in the moment, just as it did when you were young and uninhibited. Our inner intuition is the one consistent presence that we all innately have and doesn’t just belong to a woman. This is the higher message. When you are your own confidant, guide, and protector the “seeking” outside yourself will subside and serenity takes hold. It is our own accountability, strength and a commitment that is rediscovered. It rises from the ruins of all that we were told “to do” and “to be” that never quite settled in. When this knowing is trusted it releases toxicity, which makes space for clarity and inner peace. Yet with this view comes it’s own unique set of problems. We must let go of past habits or ideas that obstruct the ability to see all the old in new way. We will have to create the capacity for an understanding that uncovers what truly lies in our heart. Doing this, we are destined to self-love, responsibility, and inner forgiveness. We become the Sage we have longed to meet and the sole proprietor of the journey. We step out of the blame game, out of suffering and into the light. Life will open doors constantly, so there will be several options. Look at all these problems they are many. Now, can you hear me smiling?
Undoing, re-training, and to get untangled in the mind, is quite a process but very attainable. While clear boundaries are a must, so is our freedom to “be.” This is where the need to “empty” comes in. Empty all the archaic ideas that have held us hostage; the ones that are felt so deeply that they hurt and could not even be put it into words. It is time to let them go. No more of what it should, it would or it could look like.. this is the quest and it can be done. Let go of what consumed you, (all the things that didn’t align) and you are free. Return to that innocence in a wiser way. As you knew it when you were young, but told it is was wrong. Inner trust is a way to reacquaint yourself with what you have always known. Know it now, and know it new with open arms. A different view, simply to be…Undone.
Debbie Lynn
Dancer, Artist, Writer and Creator of
360 degrees project (full circle)
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Viewing Life through the Lens of Possibility what’s on
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by Linda Joy he past twenty-two years have taken me on an amazing journey of self-discovery. I’ve moved through a rainbow variety of life experiences, some of which have filled me with intense joy and gratitude, and others which have sucked me into the deepest depths of self-doubt, pain, and despair. Like many on the path of self-actualization, I have fallen—and yet, somehow, each time I have found that core of inner strength which helped me to struggle to my feet, brush myself off, and move on. In hindsight, I can see that what I previously perceived as my biggest screw-ups have in fact been my truest and best lessons.
‘‘When I shifted my focus away from fear, I discovered that no matter how difficult the road ahead might look the thought of not living authentically and following my soul’s purpose was far more frightening than the thought of moving forward.’’ Linda Joy Life through the Lens of Shame On the first leg of my journey, during which I went from high school dropout and runaway to single twenty-two year old welfare mom—oh, and let’s not forget financial misfit—I had subconsciously labeled myself a failure. My mom dubbed me “the Queen of Self-Sabotage.” When friends and family would ask me when I was going to do something with my life, I was prepared with a long list of reasons (which I now see were just excuses) why I didn’t and couldn’t and wouldn’t have a chance at a life like that. I had spent so long viewing my life through a lens of shame and self-degradation that by the time I turned twenty-six I had already labeled myself a failure, and had turned my back on the dream of a better life. Healing the Cracked Lens In the introduction of my anthology, A Juicy, Joyful Life, I share the emotional and intimate moment I experienced sitting I my car on a spring day in 1991. That moment became the catalyst for me to take back my life and launch my quest to reclaim my authentic self. From that day forth, I spent every spare moment reading inspirational books from leading spiritual visionaries like Norman Vincent Peale, Florence Scovel Shinn, Napoleon Hill, and more. These authors became my virtual mentors. As the years unfolded, I added to my transformational toolkit, soaking up the wisdom of teachers like Louise Hay, Marianne Williamson, Debbie Ford, and Cheryl Richardson, to name a few. I dedicated myself to healing the cracked lens through which I viewed my life, so that I could create a better future for myself and my six-year old daughter. Following the Light The written word became both my solace and my impetus for change. The wisdom contained within the books I chose seemed to come to me just when I needed it most. Whether it was a word, a sentence, or a paragraph, each message that leaped off the pages at me was exactly what I needed to hear at that time, and gave me the fuel to move forward. To this day I am
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grateful for the authors, speakers and writers who continually step through their own fears and vulnerabilities to share their truth and bring their wisdom, insights, and gifts to the world. Each time someone shares their story they become beacons of light for others on the journey
‘‘...And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.’’ - Marianne Williamson Shifting My Focus In many media interviews I’ve been asked how I have continuously stepped through my fears and out of my comfort zone to transform my personal, professional, and spiritual life. I can’t offer any direct advice; I can only share my truth and what’s worked for me. To move forward, I had to accept that change and transformation in our lives have the power to grip us in paralyzing fe ar—but only if we focus on the fear. When I shifted my focus away from the fear, I discovered that no matter how difficult the road ahead might look the thought of not living authentically and following my soul’s purpose was far more frightening than the thought of moving forward. Creating a New Picture for My Life After many years of internal work, I am able to view my past through a new lens—a lens shaped from hope, love, and the belief that anything is possible. Today, I look at my life and realize that every one of the extraordinary obstacles and perceived failures was really a stepping stone on the path to my authentic self. But it wasn’t until I changed my perspective—my lens— that was able to fully experience the inner transformation necessary to create the outer change I desired. Changing the lens doesn’t mean that I no longer experience ups and downs, disappointments or setbacks. But it does mean that when those things happen, I am able to rely on my passion and authenticity to give me the strength to get up and try again. The world was never against me, and it never will be. The only one who could ever defeat me was me. Snapshot of Today Today, I pinch myself often, just to be sure I’m not dreaming. In my role as Founder and Publisher of Aspire Magazine, and Inspired Living Publishing, as well as host of Inspired Living Secrets I am honored to bring the words, wisdom, and insights of today’s leading visionaries to women all around the world, with the intent to inspire them to live deeper, more authentic, and more grace-filled lives. Over the last seven years, some of my greatest virtual mentors have graced the cover of Aspire, including Marianne Williamson, Debbie Ford, Cheryl Richardson, and Dr. Judith Orloff.
‘‘Don’t fear failure so much that you refuse to try new things. The saddest summary of life contains three descriptions: could have, might have, and should have.’’ - Unknown Life has come full circle and it all started the moment I began focusing on my dreams and not my fears.
Linda Joy - Best Selling Author, Publisher, Speaker and Conscious Business Catalyst.
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Reflections by Cheryl Maloney
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hen I think back on my life it would be easy to focus on all that went wrong. The bridges I burned, the money I lost, the wasted time I spent chasing a dream that wasn’t mine. When I talk with other women my age our stories are pretty much the same. We did what we thought we should do and were sorry that we did what we shouldn’t have done. In the end though the time spent giving those parts of our past more than a moment of time doesn’t change anything. It just makes us feel bad... or less.
At 57 I understand what is called “the wisdom of the ages.” All those experiences have taught me well. We all make decisions based on the best possible information we have at the moment. I would not make the same decisions now that I did back then. Rather than live with regrets I choose to celebrate how far I’ve come. Yes, perhaps our wisdom is born of pain. However out of that experience we become stronger and resilient. If we can then take all of that and see the humor in our past it can never cause us pain again. And that is true freedom.
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People Have Choices
H
by Sue Trumbo-Forrer
ave you ever felt victimized by the choices you made even though you made them knowing full well what you were getting into? I have and stayed in that rut for decades. I kept trying to ignore the negative emotional and physical feelings associated with my work and the drudgery that overshadowed most days in the office. My dream was of a career that would bring me joy, flexibility, true connection I discovered that keeping my dreams to myself wasn’t telling with people while leaving me energized rather than drained the universe that I was ready and open for change. When I started sharing my dreams openly, my life took the dramatic and dreading! turn I was hoping for! I fantasized about being laid off so I could start over and create exactly the career I wanted. I was counting down the It all started at a dinner party with friends. People I’d known years until I could move on and by waiting and wishing I for years who assumed I was happy because I kept my true feelings to myself. I asked if they could help me find a life/ gave all the power to a company to change my destiny. Then the thought hit me – I am the person with power career coach because it was time to make a drastic change. over my life; I am the person that can make the choice Within one week I had the name of a coach that provided the and commitment to change and what I have been good at insight I needed to make the leap. doesn’t mean it’s my life’s purpose! Although it took another six months to put my plan together I read an article by Alex Blackwell about how ancient Greek and leave corporate America and burn my boat, I have never warriors possessed an unwavering attitude to victory and been happier and am filled with joy and contentment. My fear commitment. When the Grecian armies landed on their of starting over still hovers close by; but I try not to let it keep enemy’s shore, the first order the commanders gave was me paralyzed by acknowledging my blessings and putting one foot in front of the other towards my dreams. “Burn the boats.” These commanders knew the power of motivation and necessity. With no boats to retreat to, the army had to be successful in order to survive. As the soldiers watched the boats burn, they knew there was no turning back. Fear kept me from moving forward. I was trapped by good old plan B, the comfort of the status quo and my boat bobbing off shore. However, I realized that the fear of regret for not trying was actually stronger than the fear of the unknown. So I decided to look forward and commit to leaving my fears about the future behind me - in my burning boat. I started by simply telling people that I was looking for a change in my life and wanted more fulfillment in my work.
‘‘When I started sharing my dreams openly, my life took the dramatic turn I was hoping for.’’
If you are contemplating a change in your life, you might want to consider a life/career coach or writing down your vision for the future and then taking steps to get from here to there. You can do it! The answers are within you, so take the risk of sharing your dreams out loud and then be ready for the world to open up in amazing ways!
Sue Trumbo-Forrer Life & Career Coach,
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The Perfection of Our Stories
How to Use Your Story to its Fullest Without it Using You by Josh Ubaldi
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Sharing our stories is all about vulnerability. The words that we choose to share with one another are by their very choice reflections of how we were raised, where we’ve come from, who we are now, and even where we aspire to go. When we unleash those words to others, we are sharing ourselves in such a wonderful, vulnerable and open way, that other people cannot help but recognize themselves in our words and then connect with us. Or when our stories don’t have enough points in common, this may be a reflection of how we don’t connect. Storytelling, by virtue of its need for vulnerability, is vital to connection.
e are all unique walking collections of stories. Our stories help give shape to our lives. They are the results of experiences that surprise, comfort, and sometimes even torment us. Best of all, our stories are what connect us to others. The challenge we face is that sometimes our stories start to run the show. Instead of making the most of our stories as points of connection, we allow our stories to How do you tell stories? What did you do, where did you go, use us mercilessly, and disconnect us unnecessarily. who did you see, why were you whatever you were? How did Storytelling is a timeless tradition that goes back to the start all of those experiences make you who you are today? The of civilization, visible now in cave paintings around the world. big questions of our lives are wrapped up in our stories, what Little has changed since then. We live our lives, and tell our we choose to share, or not share. Think about the stories you stories in the form of narratives or jokes or teachings, often chose to share over the course of the last week versus those in the hopes that future generations know where they came that you actively chose not to share. They are the foundation from and so they won’t make our same mistakes. If we’re of the connections we attempt to seek from others. Therein really wise, we ask as many questions as the stories we tell. lies your power, your purpose and ultimately your destiny. But there’s no denying that stories are how we make sense of what has happened to us, and also how we share the essence So when does storytelling become a trap? We choose to of ourselves with others. Because our stories are our history, share stories that limit our connections to each other, rather they are perfect, because we are perfect, no matter how than create deeper connections. We choose stories that limit our own vulnerability, and keep us from being fully present. flawed our experiences.
simple steps contemporary real change magazine magazine month spring 20XX 2013
Let me give you an example: I have one regular acquaintance Carla who always jokes through sarcasm and oneupmanship. Almost every conversation is based around a story of how her experience was better than whatever anyone else just shared. Or otherwise how much worse it was, and therefore more amazing, making for a better story. Carla’s stories always create distance. They may elicit some funny jokes or words of fascination, but they almost never create a bond of shared experience. Can you think of a time when your stories achieved the same undesired, even if unintentional, result?
impeding her regular routines. Her stories were endless. Does this sound at all familiar? Clearly, people who do this have great need for a sympathetic ear. But this type of story does little but cut off our own curiosity about others, and what’s happening in their lives. It not only hinders our connection, but doesn’t allow other people’s experiences to put ours into perspective. The connections stay limited because it’s about the stories, not about who we really are.
Carla is letting herself get used by her stories. Like all of us, Carla has options. She might simply stay present with the people around her. She can listen to and acknowledge other people’s stories, and respond to those stories without diminishing them. But more often than not, she doesn’t choose a benign course. She chooses to let her own stories blow everyone else’s out of the water. Carla allows her stories to put her on a pedestal, high above the connections happening around her. In those moments, her story is running her. It’s a pretty lonely place to be, and Curiosity is the easiest antidote to she’s the first to admit it. the trap of letting our stories run us. Wondering what is happening around us offers us a constant perspective. Allowing ourselves the curiosity to ask questions – a vulnerable act itself – and to be with those stories, to respond respectfully and honestly, these are where connections are born and become Complaining is another common way profound. Our comfort zones are usually of allowing our stories to run our lives. far more flexible than we give ourselves I had the great privilege of growing up credit for. We have a huge capacity to around many elderly folks, well into their process the stories told to us throughout 80s, 90s and even 100s. Their wisdom the course of a day, and fully reach out to and warmth was often so generous. the people who are sharing. This can be But there were also plenty who told a great reminder to us that it’s always stories of nothing but their ailments. as much about the other person as it My grandmother, while adorable, often is about us, as often as we forget that. fell victim to this. If we had the time Seek out others stories by liberating to call over, the first ten minutes of your curiosity, and expand your own conversation were about all of her current experience. ailments, doctors’ recommendations for each, and how all of these were Listening is another key to connection,
Sharing our stories is all about vulnerability
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and will help you avoid falling into your own storytelling traps. What are people’s stories telling you? Ask yourself what is the meaning behind their story. How deeply are they sharing? Can you share in kind? You will find this type of listening and connecting builds your friendships better than you expected because you shared an important story at the right moment, when you were both vulnerable and open-hearted. Stories are invitations to get to know us better. We always have copious amounts of stories to choose from, if we are conscious of how rich our lives have been. Listen deeply, and respond wholeheartedly. Remember to keep your stories in check. When you find them protecting you, elevating you above others, controlling others by keeping them subjected to your complaints, find the awareness to stop the cycle of the story. Your stories will use you to keep you centered solely on yourself. Remain confident in your perfect stories to allow moments to be about the other person. Take the power of your curiosity and listening to connect deeper. We are after all not our stories. Our stories are just momentary reflections of where we’ve been and what we’ve experienced. When we are fully present, fully generous, and fully alive, we are so much more than the sum of our stories.
Josh Ubaldi Professionally trained Actor, Personal Coach, Author
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BOOKS Simple Steps... Real Change
Why Quantum Physicists... Author Greg Kuhn
Publication
Try Not To Think About Quantum Physics A BOOK REVIEW by Cheryl Maloney
A
few days ago I would’ve laughed at this title. Today I can’t not think about quantum physics. A week ago anything that even remotely hinted at the subject would never have graced my desk. The author used the phrase “simple quantum physics” which seemed absolutely ridiculous to me. I think it might have been the title of his book however it made me look further. Why Quantum Physicists Don’t Get Fat caught my attention. And then I found Why Quantum Physicists Do Not Fail.
In less than three days I was able to read both of these books. The books are closely aligned however Why Quantum Physicists Do Not Fail covers an expanse of topics that anyone looking to change their life can use. Mr. Kuhn is often referred to as “The
Law of Attraction Science Guy.” What he shares in these books are some very simple principles that I’ve come to know know as the Law of Attraction. His scientific perspective however enabled me to see elements of how I was telling my story and making choices were completely opposite of how I believed I was living. I had a new “aha” moment in my life reading these books... And you may too. We all have aspects of our lives that just aren’t working the way we want them to. For me it came down to losing those extra pounds and getting in shape. It was the one area of my life where I continued to beat myself up for what I was eating, not eating and my lack of exercise. Mr. Kuhn helped me to see that as long as I was berating my choices I was drawing more of what I didn’t want to me. That’s a classic Law of Attraction principle.
Why Quantum Physicists Do Not Fail is a short (142 pages) and easy read that is so unique that it was exactly what I needed to take a quantum leap to success. If you need a new perspective on how to attract into your life what you want these books may speak to you too. If your focus is on getting in shape check out Why Quantum Physicists Don’t Get Fat and learn how eating and moving trumps diet and exercise every time.
SHARING SUPPORT... ENCOURAGEMENT... INSPIRATION!
simple steps contemporary real change magazine magazine month spring 20XX 2013
Thinner This Year A BOOK REVIEW AND TRIBUTE by Marshall G. Martin Attorney and Columnist
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his is a book review. But most importantly, it is about how we change and we get ready for the “Third Act”— the rest of our life. Going into the Third Act “the job you do” is less important than who you are as a person and less important than the real friends you make. The book, Thinner This Year, Workman Publishing (2012), is about nutrition and exercise. However, it is more than that, it is the story of its amazing co-author, Chris Crowley, who may force you to look out how you live your life and your relationships. I have not lived up to the promise of the book yet, but I am on my way to its promise of change—in body and mind. Chris Crowley and Jen Sacheck, Ph.D are the co-authors of the best seller, Thinner This Year. Dr. Sacheck, Jen as Crowley calls her, is a renowned Nutrition professor at the Freidman School of Nutrition at Tufts University. She was a champion rower competing nationally and internationally. Crowley was a partner in a major Wall Street law firm, winning major contested merger cases. An accomplished trial lawyer, he retired at 55 to ski and bike at Aspen, Colorado. In 2007 he teamed up with a medical doctor to write Younger Next Year. The book focused on what people should do to slow the aging process, with general discussions on how exercise and good nutrition can slow the process. It was a best seller, but it was not a “how to “ book. Thinner This Year is a comprehensive guide to better nutrition (without being a “diet” book). It includes guidelines for diet, fiber, a fat index (the Body Mass Index), heart rate standards for exercise and a demanding exercise program. Crowley is a poster child for the book. Chris is now 78. He bikes 50 miles a
day several days a week in his beloved Berkshires, skis the expert “double black” slopes at Aspen and has an active life with a load of kids and grandkids. He lectures in the U.S. and abroad. The theme of Thinner This Year: preparing for the “Third Act”—which we all face—is presented in an aggressive, funny and positive way. The goal is live into the Third Act as a healthy, happy, sociable person. The book is a potentially life changing read—full of humor, nutrition guidelines, and exercise routines. The first half of the book is really Jens, who is at least 40 years younger than her co-author. Although they alternate chapters, Chris furnishes the humor and Jen the serious stuff in the first part of the book. Whether you agree with her or not, her view of “Gluten Free” marketing as a fad is fun to read. She is also not a fan of multi-vitamins, maintaining that if one eats properly most store bought vitamins are useless. She also gives you standards to find out if you are “fat”. What a shock to learn (as I did) that weighing a fairly fit 187 pounds at 6’, I was overweight.
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aside from my gym I also use a BOSU ball routine at home, augmented by Kettlebell weights. You don’t have to join a gym, although you will need some cheap weights or exercise bands. Knock on wood; I am on schedule to meet my high school playing weight.
Using Body Mass Index calculations I should be at my high school football playing weight of 170 under the BMI measures. Jen gives guidelines for what and how much to eat (always less!!). Predictably, she indicts the fast food industry for the country’s obesity epidemic and warns to stay clear. You will be happy to learn that popcorn, butterless, is an allowed snack.
Thinner This Year is more than a “get fit” book. It is Chris Crowley’s philosophy for living a good long life with a focus on relationships. He is from a privileged background and had a sterling reputation in his old legal job, but he tells of new friends like a Boston homicide detective who became a frequent houseguest and friend. Other friends pop up on the long Berkshire bike ride and he stops and chats with them. Finally his closing example of a class Third Act is a touching story about President U.S. Grant’s final work on his memoirs to make sure his family would not be destitute at his death, since he had lost a fortune to a scam artist. Chris Crowley was obviously a very good lawyer. He is a good writer. I bet he is a good friend to have as well.
In the last half of the book, Chris is the exercise guy and he lays out a stiff challenge: six exercise days a week for 45 minutes per day (at least two of the days are weight training). The book contains easy warm up and exercise routines. Chris’ exercise program is flexible and as long as you meet his routine’s body targets (developed by a world class trainer) and do the time, you will meet his goals. For example,
Maybe you are not quiet up to a sixday workout week or achieving your high school playing weight, but if you read this book you will think about that Third Act and what it takes to enjoy it. Just think about Chris Crowley, he changed his life at age 55 and became a different person that led to new relationships and an exciting new life writing and teaching people how to move into the Third Act.
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Your Higher Self What is it and why is it important? By Robbie Adkins
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ver the last decade or two, the term “higher self” has become more and more popular. I have been working on a definition of what the higher self is for close to 40 years now, and I would like to share with you what I believe it is and a simple technique to access it. I think of it as an electromagnetic field that is part of all your bodies. It could be called your soul body. By “all your bodies,” I mean your physical, emotional, and mental bodies, along with your soul body. These bodies each work independently of each other and yet, as part of your whole being, have an affect on each other. Various cultural influences may have taught us that one of these bodies is more important than the other, but in fact, they are all important. For instance, if your mother was a professor, she might have taught you that the mind, or the mental body, was most important…more important than your emotions or your physical activities. If you came from a family of athletes, it is possible you might have been taught to “stuff” your emotions and develop your physical body. And if your family was particularly passionate, your mental and physical abilities might have been ignored. There are a variety of religions that teach that the spiritual body or soul body is the only one that matters, and that the others, the more material ones, are to be By “all your “overcome” by spiritual bodies,” I mean practices. None of these your physical, approaches is to be judged as right or wrong…they just emotional, and are what they are.
mental bodies, along with your soul body.
Think of the three bodies as a car and your higher self or soul body as a GPS guidance system that adjusts to conditions around you as your drive (your day) unfolds. It is sending and receiving sort of radio signals at all times, whether you are aware of it or not. The quality of those signals depends on how well integrated it is with your other bodies. When in alignment and when acknowledged, the higher self can connect you to all sorts of higher forms of knowledge that are outside your particular experience but that are always available to you. Those thoughts might be experienced as “intuition.” I
believe it can be your direct connection to divine energies that are available to you. When you are saved from some kind of disaster by being in the right place at the right time, you might call that divine intervention, but I would call it being connected to your higher self and listening to it…even without your conscious awareness. Divine energies cannot interfere with your free will, so only by listing to your “divine radio station” can there be divine intervention. Getting back to the other bodies, let me try to explain them and how to tune into each one, making this grand alignment possible for you. First let us start with the easiest one to identify, the physical body. That means the bones and muscles and blood running through our veins. If we are in physical pain, we know it can really affect our temperament. Conversely, if we have just had a great work-out and our body is fully “awake,” that state of physical being can put us in a great mood, open and ready to face any challenges and to appreciate any good things that might come our way. The process to isolate and experience the physical body is a simple one. Just sit or stand in a quiet place where you won’t be disturbed and ask your physical body how it feels at the moment. Does it want to move? Is it tense? Is it relaxed and flexible? Try to identify just your physical self, separate from any emotions you might attach to how you feel physically. It is how you feel physically, not emotionally. Ask how the physical body feels and what it needs… then just listen for a moment.
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Next let us tackle trying to feel our emotional body as separate from our physical body. Sit or stand quietly a minute to identify the state of your emotional body. It may be frightened or happy, unhappy or joyful…or it may feel likely a combination of many feelings. I feel it is wise to “tune in” and ask several times during the day because the emotional body can shift very quickly, more quickly than the other bodies. You may learn some interesting things about yourself and your life. For instance, if you have a weekly office meeting, what is your emotional state right before you go into the meeting? Are you excited and eager to share ideas or progress on a project, or are you uncomfortable as if you are about to go into battle? The third body is the mental, and that is a bit hard for most of us to separate from the emotional. By mental, I mean how your brain and your whole nervous system is working at the moment. Many years ago I learned about the biorhythm system, as it was the “system de jour.” You can research it on Wikipedia and decide for yourself if it is valid, but by using that system and noting when my “mental cycle” was above or below par, I learned to observe that there was quite a bit of variance in my ability to think. Some days I was “sharper” than others and some days I was just plain dull. Some days I had many brilliant ideas in a row and could problem solve at breakneck speed, while other days I made mistakes with the most simple mathematical calculations. The process to identify the condition of your mental body is the same as the others. Sit or stand quietly where you won’t be disturbed, ask to experience the state of your mental body at this point in time and then ask what it needs.
‘‘The process to isolate and experience the physical body is a simple one. Just sit in a quiet place where you won’t be disturbed and ask your physical body how it feels at the moment’’ The final step in this process, after you have asked each body how it is functioning and what it needs today, is to ask to bring the bodies into focus with each other and then invite in the higher self, the soul body, to integrate with them all. I usually feel a deep sense of relaxation with this final step, and I just enjoy it for a moment. This technique allows you to use all your senses to move through the day with the most accurate picture of what is going on around you. Think of it as like when you go to the eye doctor and he flips various lenses in front of your eye to get the sharpest image. This works the same way. If all your “bodies” have been acknowledged as part of the whole team, each part being as important as the others, and you have asked them to cooperate with each other, and you have asked for your higher self to flow into the other bodies, you’ve got it! It may take some time in the beginning, but eventually, you can just remember this process and it can happen in just a few seconds, in any environment. It is a simple task that promises great rewards!
Robbie Adkins Artist and Write
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by Jordan Gray beloved Facebook friend posted this delightful quote: Living from your heart is an art. It takes creativity, focus, and time. (Original source unknown) These wise words touched my heart and spoke to my spirit.
the energy around us. However, the time of transformation is calling to us, and we grow increasingly aware of our fear-based habits. Our feelings of love feed our courage and transform our environment. Love softens mistrust. It boosts our courage and eliminates the fear that amplifies our insecurity.
I immediately sat in contemplation and pondered the insight so gracefully offered in the post. As I sat quietly with the idea of living heart-art, my teacher, Joshua, spoke to me. He gently talked about an additional ingredient for a heart-based life. Joshua added that living from the heart and letting love show also requires courage. As we awaken it is easier to release the social mask of fear we hide behind to reveal our extraordinary love for one another. Yet, in moments of insecurity, it remains a habit for us to hide our heart behind a mask. Good reasons led humankind to create a heart-shielding mask, and there’s no shame or guilt about using our heart shield. Joshua reminded me this tool has purpose. He urges us to utilize such tools consciously. Sadly, from Joshua’s point of view, we have allowed ourselves to hide our hearts habitually, and he added that now is the time to form new habits.
As we transition into our loved-based life, we will create a new reality—we’ll find ourselves in increasingly warmer and safer communities. Even in our current society Joshua says that in every circumstance we may let love flow. Love shows through our heart light, our eyes, and our smile. Indeed, feelings of love flowing through our being speak more powerfully than words. The heart center of our body is a lighthouse. Our light has no boundaries for it is the light of the One that dwells in All That Is. Letting this light grow and letting love show transforms our world. Love is that powerful. Awakening to our eternal and infinite nature reminds us that we have nothing to fear. Allow this understanding to drip into the pool of collective consciousness like a droplet of courage.
‘‘Our feelings of love feed our courage ’’
Each of us has the freedom to choose the moments when and transform our environments. we lower our heart-shield and allow the mask to melt. We sense the unseen and unheard energy body, vibrations, and feeling tones around us with great accuracy. There are times The global shift out of a fear-based reality into a time of love, and places when it is wise to shield our heart and proceed peace, abundance, and understanding begins within each of with caution. Sometimes we must refuse to harmonize with us. Finding our courage to let love show is a practice of letting
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go of our fear. We practice letting go of our fear of being rejected or judged as soft, too sensitive, or weak. Together we plant the seeds of change and water these seeds with love. We remember that love dissolves fear, and we know in our whole self—there is nothing to fear. We are eternal and infinite beings now. How do we advance toward the modern golden age? Joshua inspires us to set intentions in the direction we want humankind to move. He teaches that intentions are powerful, and at the same time, intentions allow us to side-step the suffering associated with expectation and attachment. I want to share an example of an intention that Joshua inspired me to write as we work together on our next book. Joshua’s
love is unseen light and unheard sound broadcasting through my heart chakra, love shines in my eyes, and love beams from my smile. I intend to let love show everywhere I am. In my presence may others experience the love my heart sings, the love my eyes shine, and may my smile gently kiss All That Is. Letting love show is an act of courage and strength that changes the world. Love is our personal power. Love plants the seeds of an amazing harvest, and we practice letting go of any fear keeping us from living a heart-based life. Imagine what we can transform with a droplet of courage to let love show. This challenge is heart-art worthy of our creativity.
‘‘Finding our courage to let love show is a practice of letting go of our fear. ’’ statements of awareness are suggestions intended to move us forward. These intentions are offered as food for thought. Intention to Let Love Show: I am awake to the unseen energy and the unheard sound that flows through my being. In this awareness, I know that the energy of my being touches everything and everyone. I have the privilege of influencing the energy field around me right here, right now. I know that
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Jordan Gray Inspirational Speaker, Author
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contemporary magazine 20XX spring 2013 simple steps real changemonth magazine
Stay Fluffy by Regina Cates
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ou are part of a hurry-up, rush-around world where too often good manners and courteous behavior take a back seat to rudeness and instant gratification. You can choose to allow the actions of other people to negatively impact you. Or you can refuse to let other people’s behavior ruffle your fur by choosing to stay fluffy.
As children, my sister and I had a pet rabbit named Honey Bunny, a tiny ball of soft, fluffy white fur. She was cute, cuddly, and consistently calm. When I encounter a tense circumstance, or want to keep from being sucked into other people’s negativity, I repeat “fluffy bunny, fluffy bunny, fluffy bunny” over and over in my head. It really works. I let go of any frustration or resentment and cannot stay annoyed when I concentrate on a cute little bunny rabbit. One day I was walking back from a neighborhood shop when I witnessed a driver stopped in the middle of the intersection, talking on the phone while presumably waiting to turn left. After the light turned red she proceeded into the intersection. Although there were signs indicating U-turns were illegal, she chose to do it anyway. Her SUV was too large to make it on the first attempt, so she had to back up and move forward repeatedly.
How other people choose to behave is their choice. You have the same choice.
Drivers at the green light laid on their horns, while many of the pedestrians who were forced to wait on the sidewalk screamed at her. The woman gestured through her windshield with a rude hand signal, continued chatting on the phone, and maneuvered into the illegal turn to take a parking space in front of a certain store. Throughout this incident I stood on the sidewalk, a silent witness to how the actions of one person inconvenienced and angered dozens of others. No matter how the woman behaved, or how those impacted by the woman reacted, I was determined not to allow the circumstance to ruin my good mood. I was focused on staying fluffy. On another occasion, I was experiencing greater pain than usual from two previous back surgeries. I decided to consult an orthopedic specialist to see if anything could be done to alleviate the pain. The specialist entered the room without introducing himself and quickly asked what was wrong. As I began recounting the history of my back surgeries, as I had with other doctors, he interrupted me. “Do not talk to a physician that way,”
he said. “Wait until you are asked specific questions and then answer as quickly as possible. We are busy people.”
I politely cut the examination short and left. No matter how shocking or arrogant the physician’s behavior was, I was determined to stay fluffy. Occasionally you will encounter people like the woman in the SUV or the physician who are unconcerned with how their actions negatively impact other people. You can ask yourself, “How does angrily ego-reacting to the rude, but not physically threatening, behavior of another person really benefit me?” How other people choose to behave is their choice. You have the same choice. Yes, you can be led by hurt feelings or wounded pride to impulsively fire something back, and there are many situations when it is appropriate and important to stand up for what is right. Yet, when you egotistically call people on their own self-centered behavior, it
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is not likely they will say, “Wow! Thank you so much. You have allowed me to see how badly I acted.” Rarely, if ever, do situations like this turn out the way our ego wants. Few of us appreciate being told when we have behaved badly. Many times we already realize our behavior is inappropriate. Even if we are embarrassed and ashamed, instead of stopping to question and assume responsibility for our behavior, we may instead allow our wounded egocentric pride to shoot the messenger.
Consider This
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Remaining positive and peaceful under stressful circumstances requires bringing a different level of awareness to the situation than that which creates it in the first place. I learned it is necessary to have a plan, something to focus on to keep my ego from becoming caught up in nerveracking situations or other people’s self-absorbed behavior. Next time you encounter someone who is rude, find yourself stuck in a traffic jam, or discover that someone has backed into your parked car, refuse to add any negative energy to an already uncomfortable occurrence. You cannot change an incident after it happens. You do not have the power to change other people or make them see things about their behavior they are not willing to accept for themselves. Instead, focus on behaving in a way you are proud to remember by imagining something peaceful and calm that helps you stay fluffy!
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JUST TAKE A BREATH
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by Cindy Hively
hat does taking a MIND BREATH mean? The way I define taking a mind breath is to bring yourself back to center. A mind breath allows us to calm, clear and release difficulties in the present moment. When we are following this practice we are able to surrender to joy, peace, contentment and courage. This is the miracle of equanimity, the balance that allows us to live and handle wisely all of life’s moments. It is impossible for our mind to hold pain, life difficulties and joy at the same time.
We can make things difficult for ourselves by being hesitant or uncertain. When we earnestly set our mind on getting in touch with our own breath and following it as far as it can take us, we will enter the stage of liberating insight, leading to the mind itself. Ultimately, pure knowing will stand out on its own. That’s when we reach an attainment trustworthy and sure. In other words, if we let the breath follow its own nature, and the mind its own nature, the results of taking a -mind breath- practice will without a doubt be all that we hope for. When does one use MIND BREATH in life? This is a simple answer, everyday and through out the day. Before I even step one foot on the floor when I awaken in the morning, I inhale deeply and exhale slowly; I do this practice five times. This practice allows us to release all the toxins and mind chatter so we can create space for our mind to hold goodness as we start our day. I can feel your mind wheels turning. I know some are thinking, “my life is in crisis, I just lost my job, my boss doesn’t like me, the economy is not good, I have an illness and I am late with bills, my spouse just left me, I feel no one cares.” I can tell you your breath cares and so does your mind. Learning how to use your mind and breath together through difficulties has scientific proof that we can lower our cortisol levels (this is our flight/fight response) and raise our serotonin levels (this is our joy, contentment, feel good and wise response). I could list pages of life difficulties. I know I have my share too. These are real life problems and most of the time they can be ego based. Last week as I was going through old boxes and junk in the attic, I became extremely overwhelmed. Do you know the emotion I am talking about? Thinking something should be easier and then realizing it is just one huge mess. We all have these experiences from day to day. Life is difficult but learning how to use MIND BREATH brings insight that comes solely through daily faithful practice.
‘‘How do you take a MIND BREATH in daily life?’’
simple steps contemporary real chnage magazine magazine month spring 20XX 2013
(A MIND BREATH) How do you take a MIND BREATH in daily life? Most of us, by and large, like getting results but don’t like laying the groundwork to learn a new skill. We are creatures of habit, aren’t we? We may want nothing but goodness and ease (who doesn’t) but if we haven’t prepared the groundwork, we will not have change. When we feel stressors or difficulties in our day, we need to stop, pay attention and begin with cleansing breaths by engaging our mind.
AN EXERCISE IN MIND BREATH PRACTICE •
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As you practice you will make adjustments that will serve you well. Knowing how to adjust the breath so that it eases the mind and soothes the body does require practice. Learning how to breathe so that you feel free and refreshed in breath and mind is the hope of your personal exploration into this practice. The truth with this practice is that it can be practiced anywhere, at anytime and anyplace. There is no right or wrong. We naturally settle into what benefits us. We just have to start somewhere and begin without judgment..
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My hope is that this practice of MIND BREATH will be helpful in your day to day experiences and you will come to see the great benefits that come from keeping the breath in mind. Always remember practice makes progress not perfection.
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Cindy Hively, An Awakened Living Mentor
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Getting Started: Lie flat on your back and close your eyes. You may also do this practice sitting or standing. I do this practice before getting out of bed each morning. Ahhhh! Place your right hand on your abdomen and keep your left hand resting at your side. Relax your whole body, your face, neck, shoulders, back, arms and legs. Inhale deeply through the nose and feel your abdomen rise and expand. When you’ve inhaled fully, pause for a moment and then exhale fully through your nose. As you exhale, feel your abdomen contract. Let yourself go, imagine your whole body going limp. Repeat the breath; take 10-20 deep breaths in total. When you are finished, roll on your right side and rest for a few moments before pushing up to a seated position. What to Consider: Pause during inhalation and exhalations keeping the throat soft and relaxing the entire body Keep your breath smooth and regular throughout the exercise The exhalation should take twice as long as the inhalation If you become distracted and your mind starts to wander away from your breath (and it will) notice this and let it go. You will now start focusing on your breath and belly again.
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Play to Your Strength How wonderful to know what you are good at and to thrive in the doing!
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by Mary Parkin
inding out what you want to do in life and live that dream! is a quote from a recent documentary on the brilliant songwriter Oscar Hammerstein. Watching the story of his life and how he came to co-write such mainstays of our musical history such as ”Oklahoma,” Showboat” and ”South Pacific,” filled me (seriously) with awe. This awe came from knowing he had reached his true potential and was celebrated for it. Wow, is there anything better than that? How wonderful to know what you are good at and to thrive in the doing! How many of us are fortunate enough to say that about our lives? I want to tell you a story about a new client who is a living breathing textbook definition of what an entrepreneur is. He always has a few deals in the making and works around the clock. He told me the despair he felt because he never wanted to finish anything he started and how judged he felt by people and society in general. We started working together and the light bulb went on and it was great. He
realized that creating new business ideas was a good thing, actually quite a wonderful thing and that it was okay to find people to fill in the support he needed in running the business . A big teary-eyed smile appeared on his face. What a relief to focus on what he was good at and let go of his supposed weaknesses. Have you ever noticed how corporate training in the United Stated is usually aimed at what management supposes to be your weak link? No wonder our inner critic is turned up full crank. If you talk to an entrepreneur about their lives, you will usually hear how they never felt like they fit in and usually judged themselves for not being part of the ”mainstream America.” Entrepreneurs are fully engaged in their thoughts. When you talk with them you can almost hear their brains percolating! Finding what your mode of operation is and developing it absent the inner torture is definitely where it is at. To help someone find what they are intended to do and what kind of life they want is such a fantastic process, I can’t begin to tell you. And I know of what I speak. I am also one of those round pegs that didn’t fit into the square holes and I have found what I am meant to do. And you can too!
Mary Parkin Entrepreneurial Business and Life Coach
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Contributors 30
Robbie Adkins
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Artist and Writer who has spent her lifetime developing useful spiritual tools. www.voiceofsoul.com
Mary Parkin
Entrepreneurial Business and Life Coach, Albuquerque, NM
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Jon Satin MBA & Chris Pattay BBA
Regina Cates
Spiritual and Inspirational Speaker, Coach and Author of “Romancing Your Soul: A Guide to Leading with Your Heart”. www.romancingyoursoul.com
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Dave Fresilli, HLC, CES, PES, CPT
A CHEK Institute Certified Holistic Lifestyle Coach & Chek Practitioner and a NASM Corrective Exercise Specialist / Performance Enhancement Specialist. www.holistichealth-fitness.com
Life and Relationship Coaches, Business Consultants, Emotional Healers, Seminar Facilitators, Authors, and Entrepreneurs. www.possibilitycoaches.net
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Best Selling Author, Publisher of “Aspire” Magazine, Speaker and Conscious Business Catalyst. www.linda-joy.com/
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Jordan Gray
Inspirational Speaker, Author of “The Seventh Major Understanding – A Message of Awakening”. www.7thmajornderstanding.com
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Cindy Hively
An Awakened Living Mentor, which means living in constant awareness. It is relaxing into this life. Facebook Page
Linda Joy
Boni Lonnsburry
Debbie Lynn
Ballet Dancer, Artist, Writer and Creator of “360 degrees project (full circle)”. Facebook Page
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Marshall Martin
Trial Attorney, Author of “New Mexico Banking Law” and “Law Quid Pro Quo.”
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Marilyn Hough, LMFT & Chuck Schmitt, LMFT
The Relationship Specialists www.relationshipspecialists.com
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A Master Creationist and the author of the upcoming book, “The Map – To Our Responsive Universe, Where Dreams Really Do Come True”. www.livealifeyoulove.com
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Amanda Owen
Counselor, Coach, Transformational Speaker and Author of “The Power of Receiving.” www.thepowerofreceiving.com
Rochelle Soetan
A veteran of the literary arts, catalyst for change, and the Author and Publisher of Tuesday Morning Love. www.tuesdaymorninglove.com
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Sue Trumbo-Forrer
Life & Career Coach, Former Corporate Contracts Manager STFCoaching@aol.com
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Josh Ubaldi
Professionally trained actor, personal coach and author of “The successful Actor’s Guide to Los Angeles” Success Mastery Coaching
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Teri Williams
Speaker, Coach, Radio Show Host of “Simple Soulful Living,” Reiki Master & Shamanic Practitioner www.simplesoulfulliving.com