PARENTING
BEING A PARENT TO OUR KIDS
OR BEING THEIR FRIEND— CAN WE BE BOTH? WRITTEN BY REBECCA FISCHER
O
n the long list of things that the pandemic has complicated over the past year, parenting has to be at or near the top. The coronavirus has introduced a whole new set of worries regarding one of the toughest jobs out there: being a parent. According to a national poll from December*, parents’ top concerns about the effects of the pandemic on their children are: 1. How much time children are spending on screens and social media 2. I f their child is being bullied or cyberbullied 3. If their child could be in danger while online. Other concerns include increases in unhealthy eating habits and a lack of physical activity, as well as worries over racism, depression, and the risk of suicide.
Will being buddies help?
The survey supports what we already know: parents are feeling more over-
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FEBRUARY 2021
whelmed than ever when it comes to their kids. Kids are feeling the strain too, even the small percentage who seem to prefer school at home. For so-called “helicopter parents” (or those who tend to hover over their children and over-parent, such as by completing tasks for them, or at least very closely supervising), the pandemic has been particularly challenging. Parents who are over-involved in their children’s lives tend to be perfectionistic, shows a new study in the journal Couple and Family Psychology: Research and Practice. They’re applying the same skills that helped them succeed in school and work to their role as a parent. But this doesn’t usually lead to success in parenting. It’s well documented that children who are over-parented are more likely to suffer from psychological distress, narcissism, poor adjustment, alcohol and drug use, and other behavioral problems. Anxious adults might also over-parent because they tend to parent with
