Uniting Women & Teenage Girls to Impact Their World ™
OCTOBER, 2021
FRUGAL Fall Date Ideas DORETHIA KELLY
Pillars of WELLNESS DR. CHERYL MERCHANT
Who’s AFRAID of Proverbs 31?
To Thy Own SELF Be TRUE AJ WILLIAMS, THE #SINGLEBLACKCHICK
HALTER Up LENITA SUE SWAIN-CLEVELAND – “HONEY”
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ON THE COVER: TC COOPER, ESQ., FAITH-BASED CONTENT CREATOR & FAITHGINEER
GREETINGS SISTAHS! Ever wonder why you are at a certain point in life and how you got there? Having that question makes it hard to determine how to end the year strong and determine what goals to focus on in the coming year. The answer is easy to seek God in prayer and ask for His direction, right? Today, be challenged to consider this question, “Where is your focus?” Possessions can be wiped away by a hurricane. One change in the housing market can decrease the value of our home tremendously. One bad business deal can bankrupt a company. One bad car accident can leave one without a vehicle. Wallets can be stolen, laptops can have coffee spilled on them, and phone screens can be broken. Jesus is pointing out that all the things on this earth that we treasure are temporary, they are fragile, and they don’t last. We must clear out the gunk so that we can see clearly and focus clearly on where we’re going. What’s the spiritual gunk that is keeping you from seeing clearly? Perhaps it’s some friends that you have. Perhaps it’s some sort of intake in your life like television, music, or internet. Perhaps it’s an improper devotion to something like possessions, or politics, or power. Perhaps it’s your own pride, or arrogance, or apathy. Perhaps it’s an addiction to drugs, or acceptance, or some sort of sexual sin. Whatever it is, get the gunk out so you can see! Jesus has changed your life, so focus on Him and His ways! Set your eye towards the good, set your eye toward God, and be filled with light. Go forth SISTAHS, be empowered, be informed and be inspired!
PHOTO BY SHAWN LEE STUDIOS
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ALL THE SINGLE LADIES To Thy Own Self Be True by AJ Williams ..................................................................................................................... 9 FAITH & FINANCES Frugal Fall Date Ideas by Dorethia Kelly .................................................................................................................. 11 VIRTUOSITY Who’s Afraid of Proverbs 31? by Hannah Anderson .............................................................................................. 14
ON THE COVER: “Faith. Focus. Flow” TC COOPER, ESQ., Faith-Based Content Creator & Faithgineer ........................................................................ 17
A SISTAH’S CLOSET Halter UP! by Lenita Sue Swain-Cleveland ............................................................................................................... 23 MINDING SELF Pillars of Wellness by Dr. Cheryl Merchant............................................................................................................... 27 SISTAHS IN BUSINESS Kept By Kanika Hair Care with Kanika Free ............................................................................................................ 28 Made to Fit Fashion with Meta Spencer ..................................................................................................................... 29 AUTHORS SPOTLIGHT Laticia Nicole ................................................................................................................................................................... 32 Yolanda Spearman ........................................................................................................................................................ 33 EVENTS & RESOURCES
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Domestic Disputes: When to Call Police Believe it or not, there are wrong times to call the police during an argument. It’s important to know the appropriate circumstances of when to call the police during a domestic dispute. If a victim is injured by physical abuse that’s caused by a violent partner. ▪ When you are concerned and feel that you or your children’s wellbeing is at risk. ▪ When the abuser threatens to hurt you or harm your children. ▪ The Abuser threatens to hurt themselves. For any of these situations, don’t hesitate to pick up the phone and dial 911. ▪
Have a Safety Plan in Place Your safety cannot be stressed enough. Having a safety plan could make a huge difference. Check out these important tips that can help keep you safer:
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ALL THE SINGLE LADIES
Sharing is Sexy! While watching the Runaway Bride today, a particular part caught my attention. Maggie, played by Julia Roberts was asked by Ike, played by Richard Gere, “What kind of eggs did she like?” She responded with the scrambled eggs with dill, just like her fiancé’. However, the issue was that Maggie never really knew what kind of eggs SHE really liked. She just adapted to the taste of whatever eggs her fiancé preferred, and it was the same with fiancé number 1,2,3 and 4. The movie continues to end with her realizing who she was as a woman and then marrying Ike. Now that you are all hungry, I know you may be wondering what my point is? Well, the movie began to make me wonder about the consistent breakups in committed relationships, especially marriages. Myles Monroe once said, “for someone to be successful in the union of marriage, they need to be already whole.” The statement rang in my head several times, could it be that we can’t stay committed to someone because we haven’t even committed to ourselves? Often in relationships, we connect to another person and unconsciously expect them to define us. There is a constant need, especially with women to control the direction. “Where is this going?” or “What is my title?” These questions often leave men running in the wind.
know where a relationship is going or if she is wasting her time. However, if we are very truthful with ourselves, if you have to ask the direction of the relationship, you already know the answer. Shakespeare wrote “To Thine Own Self Be True” But how can a man or woman do this without taking time out to be with just one’s self. Here’s the Real Deal CHICKS: Being Single is NOT a curse, it is the prerequisite to any long-term committed relationship and marriage. If you can’t pass the “Singles” course, then you’re likely not to ace the “Marriage” Final, causing you to repeat the course again or possibly drop out. During your single life, this is a time to know who you are as a person. Define yourself, pursue your hopes and dreams. Heck, even know what kind of eggs you like. Being single writes the book on being you. So, when you do get ready to jump the broom, you will have a blueprint to give to your mate on how to navigate you. So, for all my single ladies out there take some time out of serial relationships by taking a break on jumping from one committed relationship to another. Stop, smell the roses, love you, learn you, be you, and then you’ll be ready to give you to someone else. I would love to hear your thoughts and comments, because, hey, it’s just MY perspective. ©2016 AJ Williams – All Rights Reserved.
Now, please do not misunderstand what I am saying. I support a woman wanting to
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FAITH & FINANCES
Whether you’ve been married for some time, or dating for a few months, it’s important to have the occasional private date where you and your partner can share an experience and enjoy some quality time together.
Instead of dressing up and spending money for movie tickets and overpriced concessions, you can pop some popcorn at home, purchase candy at the dollar store, bake cookies and cuddle up and enjoy a good movie together.
Your first date and the few after should always be amazing and somewhat over the top, but after you’ve been together for a while it starts to become harder and harder to come up with creative date ideas that won’t cost a fortune.
Extra tip: If you really want to get out of the house and catch a movie, see if anywhere in your town shows older movies for a cheaper price. In my area, our local performing arts theatre in the downtown area shows movies on Mondays for $1 per person.
Most people can’t afford to have $100 dinners each week or go on romantic weekend getaways several times throughout the year. Those date ideas sound amazing, but they cost quite a bit. When you’re on a budget or trying to reach other financial goals like paying off debt, building up your emergency fund or saving up for a house, luxurious dates just don’t seem financially reasonable. However, that doesn’t mean you need to let the romance die down. If you’ve discussed financial goals with your partner, you should both be on the same page and willing to find frugal ways to enjoy a nice date together when money is tight or if it needs to be spent elsewhere. Here are save fun and frugal date ideas for this fall. 1. Movie Night Movie nights are the go-to option for couples on a budget. Renting a Redbox movie or pulling one up on Netflix is so simple and cheap. If you and your partner have busy schedules but still love to check out new movies together this is a great option.
2. Sunset Picnic Granted the weather in your area is still nice, you can plan an outdoor picnic and watch the sunset together. Grab some finger foods and a bottle of wine and head off to a park or grassy area to talk, catch up and relax. 3. Have a Game Night Embrace your competitive side and play a couple of games together. Whether it’s your favorite board game or video game, you’ll have a blast. In my household we’re all about classic board games and video games so games like Super Mario and Monopoly are always on the agenda. 4. Go Fishing Fishing for sport is a relaxing pastime that you can even make a tradition on weekends if the weather is permitting. Clear your schedule on Saturday morning, pack a lunch, gear up and head out to a local pond to fish for a few hours.
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5. Visit a National Park National parks are free and a great opportunity to get some hiking in and just enjoy nature. Most guided tours will cost you money, so if you both are up for a little adventure, grab a map and navigate your way around the park and visit all the major attractions. Hiking at a national park is a great way to get some quality time together outdoors and get a nice workout in as well. 6. Ride Bikes to Pick up a Sweet Treat If you want to enjoy the experience of dining out without the hefty bill, try going out for dessert only instead. Cook your favorite meal at home together, or try to cook something new for dinner. There are so many simple recipes to choose from online if you want to try out a delicious new meal. After dinner, ride bikes or walk over to your favorite dessert shop for a nightly treat. Your local confectionary would be a great option or if you like ice-cream and live near an Oberweis, they always have board games for customers to play while they eat. 7. Visit a Museum or Art Gallery You can switch things up by visiting a fun museum or new art gallery that interests you. Most museums have free days for state or town residents and small local art galleries shouldn’t cost much. Want to Prioritize Quality Time Together? Create a Bucket List Creating a bucket list for a all of things you wish to accomplish before the end of the summer or throughout college is popular. Have you ever thought of creating a bucket list for your date ideas? Dates help strengthen relationships and communication plus they allow you to let off some steam and have fun together.
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This list is a great starting point, but try to brainstorm additional ideas a create a bucket list of date options that you and your partner can enjoy. You can even be more spontaneous by writing all your date ideas down on strips of paper and mixing them all up in a jar. When it’s time for a date, pull a slip of paper out of the jar in order to find out what you and your partner will be doing. Most important, don’t overthink it when it comes to determining what to do for a date. After you’ve already expressed your commitment to each other and your goals, the more frugal your dates are, the better. ©2018 Dorethia Kelly – All Rights Reserved. https://www.themoneychat.com/frugal-fall-date-ideas-for-couples/
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VIRTUOUSITY 14 |
Because while Proverbs 31 isn’t prescriptive, it is descriptive. It is designed to tell us the kind of woman who deserves honor and praise. In this sense, the poem is the culmination of an entire book whose main goal is to teach the difference between wisdom and foolishness. But as the beginning (Prov. 1:7) and end (Prov. 31:30) of Proverbs point out, you don’t become wise via a checklist; you become wise by fearing the Lord. To be fair, it’s easy to confuse prescriptive and descriptive passages. Obviously it happens in Proverbs 31, but it happens just as often in less controversial texts. The Beatitudes (Matt. 5:1-12) or the Fruit of the Spirit (Gal. 5:22-23) can quickly become metaphysical checklists if we divorce them from their Source and view them as goals to meet in our own strength. Just be peaceful. Check. Just be kind. Check. Just be humble. Check. Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera… But while these passages are not intended as “To Do” lists, they are a kind of “field guide” given to describe what we will look like if our hearts are being changed by God. They describe the fruit and bark and leaves of the tree so you can know what kind of tree you’re looking at. In the case of Proverbs 31, the poem shows how wisdom embodies itself in feminine form; so that in a beauty only God Himself could conceive, a book written primarily to young men doesn’t climax with a
description of a mature man but with a description of a mature woman. Evans rightly pointed this out during the Q event. She noted that the original audience of Proverbs 31 was men, and joked, “Can you imagine a men’s conference where that was the central text?” (It was a pretty funny thought.) But even this isn’t the whole picture. The main audience of Proverbs 31 is men—true— but it’s given to men in order to teach them the kind of women they should celebrate. One of the assumed purposes is to distinguish wise women from foolish ones in order to help men “find” (Prov. 31:10) a good wife. Talk about sexist. Or maybe not. Maybe this actually affirms a woman’s imago dei. To understand what I mean, consider Proverbs as a whole. Throughout it, you’ll find this recurring theme: weak men can be ruined by strong men but strong men can be ruined by foolish…women. Yes, women. And here’s why: women are men’s spiritual equals. Think about it. If a woman were not equal to a man, then her spiritual life would be of little consequence to him. She simply wouldn’t be able to influence him for either good or bad. But if, as we are, equal image bearers, reigning as queens alongside earthly kings, then the kind of women we become is of supreme significance. We have intrinsic power that
we can use for either great benefit or great destruction. Because of this, Proverbs is intent on teaching young men to flee from foolish women in order to embrace and affirm wise women. This is why they are to avoid the adulteress (Prov. 7) but to delight in the wife of their youth (Prov. 5:18). They are to avoid women who are quarrelsome (Prov. 17:15) but to celebrate those who speak with kindness (Prov. 31:26). They are to avoid women who tear down their homes and to run to those who build them up (Prov. 14:1). In other words, a wise woman can make a man; and a foolish one can break him. This assumption of a woman’s power is implicit in the description of the Proverbs 31 woman who wields influence over both her home and society. Because of her wisdom, her husband sits in the gates. Because of her wisdom, her household doesn’t fear the coming winter. Because of her wisdom, her children rise up and call her blessed. In this sense, Proverbs 31 is both a song of affirmation AND a standard of what maturity looks like. We must not shy away from the descriptive principles simply because they have been misused. Apart from them—apart from knowing that a wise women “stretches out her hand to the needy”—we wouldn’t be able to distinguish her from a foolish one and we’d end up assuming that ALL women deserve praise when in reality, not all of us do. To quote The Incredibles: “When everyone’s super, no one will be.”
Not all women are sacrificial. Not all women work hard. Not all women are kind. Not all women are generous Not all women are joyful. Some women are selfish. Some women are lazy. Some women are mean. Some women are stingy. Some women are bitter. But a woman who is wise, a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. She is such a rare find, so exceptionally valuable that Proverbs 31 describes her as more precious than a jewel. A beautiful, expensive, glittering jewel. So that just like light reflects and radiates through a diamond, the light of God’s nature reflects and radiates through her, bursting forth in resplendent glory. And for this kind of wise woman, wise men get up on their feet and cheer. So, yes, please don’t reduce Proverbs 31 to a checklist or a Pinterest page come to life. But let’s also remember a harder truth. Wisdom doesn’t come naturally to any of us. Our only hope of being this kind of noble woman comes by looking into the face of the One who is Wisdom Himself and allowing Him to conform us to His own likeness. And when we do, He will make us the fully formed image bearers we are destined to be. He will make us women of kindness and grace and sacrifice and love and joy. He will make us like Himself. Hannah R. Anderson lives in Roanoke, VA where she spends her days mothering three small children, loving her husband, and scratching out odd moments to write. https://sharperiron.org/article/whos-afraid-ofproverbs-31
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ON THE COVER: TC COOPER, ESQ., FAITH-BASED CONTENT CREATOR & FAITHGINEER
As president of Upward Action LLC— TC leads her company in creating and licensing content to help values-centric organizations maximize the power of social media and digital technology to increase impact, expand influence, and diversify income—through digital channels. She founded the FaithFocusFlow® Institute for Leaders to help business owners, executives, and managers around the world maximize the power of social marketing and digital technology to build sustainable success based on Biblical and Character-based principles in all marketplaces and industries. TC's bible-based business books and resources are used in study groups around the country. In addition, her SMART Goal and ALIGN productivity planners are employed in apprenticeship and job skills training programs. TC has been featured in publications including Black Enterprise, California Bar Journal, New Jersey's InBiz, Speaker Magazine, Productive Business Network, and the Washington Lawyer spreading her message about the necessity to build faith-centered organizations that maximize social marketing and digital technology. Her formal educational background is #HBCU and #IvyLeague strong as she graduated from Hampton University and Columbia Law School. She is also a certified coach trained at Coach U.
TC had this to share with SISTAH Talk: SISTAH TALK: Please share who TC Cooper is with our readers? TC Cooper: I am a Believer who is devoted to living a life that is worthy of my calling (Ephesians 4:1); an auntie, daughter, and friend; a faith-based content creator; and, a spiritual being here to spread joy and live an abundant life that glorifies God. SISTAH TALK: How you became a "Faithgineer"? TC Cooper: To be a Faithgineer® is to be a builder of marketplaces and industries on the solid foundation of faithbased principles and practices. I grew up in a faith-centered family, and the influence of my grandparents on both sides and my parents has been instrumental in helping me establish the importance of God, family, and excellence as foundational to my personal and professional life. As a result, my upbringing has always led me to view my work as an attorney and business owner through the lens of my faith focused on the connection between (i) excellence (doing things as unto the Lord) and (i) results (in accomplishing specific performance objectives). Looking back over more than two decades of success in business and the legal profession, it became clear that I could draw a straight line between my success and my consistent application of faith-based principles through my journey through work in business and law. From this realization,
TC COOPER
TC Cooper is an intellectual property and privacy law, founder of the FaithFocusFlow® Institute for Leaders, president of UpwardAction Media®, and the visionary behind the Christian apparel line – WearYourFaith.me.
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the term "faithgineer" was born because it first applied to me. SISTAH TALK: What is embodied in the phrase "Faith, Focus, Flow"? TC Cooper: The words Faith, Focus & Flow embodies what we believe at UpwardAction® Media and the FaithFocusFlow® Institute. We are committed to living our and teaching the biblical principles of (i) having faith in who God ways we are and what God says is possible through Christ; (ii) having an extreme focus on doing the good works God has prepared for us with excellent; (iii) and, enjoying the flow of abundance that comes from having a structure and systems that make it easy to doing business in a manner that is decent and in order. SISTAH TALK: Tell us about the FaithFocusFlow Institute? TC Cooper: We are the premier virtual learning center for faith-centered entrepreneurs and executives in all business industries who want to learn exactly how to (i) create online content that converts clients and (ii) build online systems to manage, expand, and scale businesses & movements using faith-centered business frameworks.
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SISTAH TALK: Describe how you overcame challenges in your journey to becoming a "Faithgineer." TC Cooper: My biggest challenge in beginning a Faithgineer has been to have the confidence to do what God says exactly in teaching others to build their businesses and careers from a faith perspective, without the need for outside validation. I have overcome this challenge (and continue to overcome it) by focusing on who God says I am, what God says I can do through Him, and the positive impact that flows when I do the work to which God has called me and only me. One of the ways I help others overcome this challenge is through my tinybook “27 Things God Says About You” that is available on Amazon and our website at www.FaithFocusFlow.com/books. SISTAH TALK: What is Intellectual Property, and what does it mean in starting a business? TC Cooper: Intellectual Property (IP) refers to creations of the mind, such as inventions; literary and artistic works; designs, and symbols, names, and images used in commerce. See https://www.wipo.int
Business owners should be intentional about protecting their creations through legal protections like copyrights (for creations like literary works and artistic works), trademarks (for creations like designs, symbols, images, brand names, and tag lines), and patents (for creations like inventions and processes). Intellectual Property protection provides its owner (i.e., YOU) with the ability to control your creation, build an identifiable brand around your creation and have the sole right to profit from your creation as you determine. If what you've created is important to you, it's important for you to protect it through copyright, trademark, or patent protection. Implementing a strategy for developing, using, and licensing Intellectual Property is essential in developing multiple avenues for (sometimes) passive revenue and strong brand identity.
1. Join our community of leaders at www.FaithFocusFlow.com/Leaders. 2. Watch inspiring faith-centered business videos on our YouTube channel at www.FaithFocusFlow.com/YouTube. 3. Get free faith-based business devotionals delivered straight to their inbox by subscribing to The Faithgineer® eDevotional at www.FaithFocusFlow.com/eLetter. 4. Connect with us on Instagram (www.Instagram.com/FaithFocusFlow), Facebook (www.Facebook.com/FaithFocusFlow), TikTok (www.TikTok.com/FaithFocusFlow), and Pinterest (www.Pinterest.com/FaithFocusFlow) by searching for FaithFocusFlow.
SISTAH TALK: What do you believe are the best qualities to have in building your business? TC Cooper: I believe the best qualities to have in business are: (i) a commitment to fairness, (ii) grace, and (ii) balance in reacting to the people and the environment (think Micah 6:8). SISTAH TALK: How can persons register for the FaithFocusFlow Institute and engage with you? TC Cooper: Your fabulous readers can connect with me by text and get periodic affirmations and discounts for our faith-based business resources for FREE. Text SISTAH to (202) 918-3864, or they can:
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PAMPERRYPR.COM
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A SISTAH’S CLOSET S
If you thought it was time to pack the summer halters away, ladies think again. That summer top can be worn over a long sleeve tee, a crisp white shirt with cufflinks or under a blazer for a revamped fall look. Don't pack the halters up. Instead, pair the halters up and treat them as vests. This is a fashion forward way to get more mileage out of what is no longer a warm weather garment and
©2021 Lenita Sue Swain-Cleveland – All Rights Reserved.
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MINDING SELF S
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For any inquiries, prayer, motivation or mentoring and for bulk books orders of over 10 or more copies please contact us via email or fill out the form on the website. Email: laticia@laticianicole.com Tel: (919) 407-8528 www.laticianicole.com
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Relentless Execution by Yolanda Spearman
Today more than two thirds of the working population feel disengaged at work. While a study in an issue of the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin indicates that about 90% of the adult population lives with regrets. No person is born with regrets, many die with them. The day we allow ourselves to stop dreaming is the day we begin to live with our very first regret. Relentless Execution is about accomplishing your dreams. This book gives you a foundation to help you understand how you can set up internal systems that will allow you to finish more of what you start. This is a light-hearted fun read. It is relatable and will bring a smile to your face and a pen to your hand. Yolanda poses thought provoking questions throughout the book to keep you engaged and to encourage you to act. Many self-help books offer traditional plans to successful living. Relentless Execution uses testimonials to peel back the emotional layers that may be holding you back from achieving optimal results. Relentless Execution pushes you to: •
Do what makes you happy
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Find your focus
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Follow through on your goals and aspirations
The Author makes it easy and fun to connect the dots and find your personal path to success however that may look for you.
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