Uniting Women & Teenage Girls to Impact Their World ™ SEPTEMBER, 2021
COUPLES’ STEPS When Combining Finances DORETHIA KELLY
Know Your WORTH
Time For SELF-CARE DR. CHERYL MERCHANT
LAURA SIMMONS
STYLISHLY Protected LENITA SUE SWAIN-CLEVELAND – “HONEY”
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ON THE COVER: DR. DERSCHAUN BROWN, FOUNDER & PRESIDENT OF H.I.S. AGENCY
GREETINGS SISTAHS! There are times when you have to focus on pushing through a season to fulfill your purpose! Situations of life happen to build our faith, build our character, build our resilience and most of all, build our trust in God. TRUST! Now there’s a word that is simple, but can also be quite complicated. How do you trust God through a process you didn’t think you would have to encounter, or want to encounter? How do you trust God when appears that promises have gone unmanifested or delayed? Ultimately, that is the very time when you have to trust God and know your faith is being tested. Will you run or will your stand like a tree planted by rivers of water? Will you bend or will you break? It’s all a test, and if you don’t pass, it comes around again, until you reach the right response. TRUST! In my lifetime, I have never encountered a word so loaded other than WAIT! Wait and trust… trust and wait! That’s what we do in many situations, right? Even when we are in line buying things, we’re waiting and trusting that we will eventually make it to the sales counter to complete the purchase. I cannot stand waiting in line – is there anyone else who hates lines? Guess what, we are in line for the next blessing, the next miracle, so guess what we have to do… TRUST and WAIT! Question is what will your response be during that time? Go forth SISTAHS, be empowered, be informed and be inspired!
PHOTO BY SHAWN LEE STUDIOS
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A SISTAH’S LIFESTYLE Know Your Worth by Rev. Robin Hopson...................................................................................................................... 7
FAITH & FINANCES Couples Steps When Combining Finances by Dorethia Kelly ................................................................................... 9
ON THE COVER: “Purpose and Empowerment” DR. DERSCHAUN BROWN, Founder and President of H.I.S. Agency .............................................................. 12
A SISTAH’S CLOSET Stylishly Protected by Lenita Sue Swain-Cleveland................................................................................................. 19
MINDING SELF Time for Self-Care: Your Deserve a Break by Dr. Cheryl Merchant ................................................................... 21
SISTAHS IN BUSINESS
EVENTS & RESOURCES
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A SISTAH’S LIFESTYLE
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FAITH & FINANCES
When in love, it’s easy to want to share and do everything with your partner. Sharing your finances can seem different though. If both you and your partner earn an income, it’s easy to feel hesitant to merge finances when you work hard to earn your money and want to do what you please with it. Merging finances with another person requires lots of compromise and a completely different mindset. This is why it’s best to consider combining finances after at least a year or two of dating or after marriage. It’s not all sacrifice though. When you put all your money into one pot and work toward the same goal, it becomes easier to reach with the other person’s support. If you are in a serious or stable relationship with your partner or married, there are a few things you should consider before taking that big step and combining finances. Make Sure You Both Have Similar Financial Goals Sit down with your partner and ask them to write down their financial goals or their 5–10year plan. As they write, you should write down your goals as well. When you are both done, switch papers and read them aloud to each other. When you write down your goals at the same time, you will get the most honest answers since one person won’t have the opportunity to feed off the other person’s answers. Talk about what you want your future to look like and how your finances will come into play. Do you want to buy a house, go on an annual vacation, invest a certain portion of your income? Do you plan on paying for your child’s college education or
meeting them halfway? These are all important decisions to discuss and you want to be on the same page with your partner about most of them. There’s nothing worse than having someone force you to do something with your money that you don’t want to do. That is why these conversations are crucial and you should feel free to compromise and convince your partner to get on board with your financial goal before you decide to combine everything. Assess How They Are with Money It’s important to understand your partner’s financial habits early on in the relationship. When you spend a lot of time with someone, it’s easy to tell if they are a spender or saver, if they like to penny pinch overspend, and what their overall relationship with money is like. Some big red flags would be if you noticed bills weren’t paid on-time, their bank account always went negative or if they mismanaged their income each month. If you have a partner who isn’t financially conscious and doesn’t manage their money well, it’s not impossible to help them change it around and fix it. The key is for both of you to be open to improving your habits and learning more about how to manage your money properly together. You can rent or buy books from financial experts or speak to a financial advisor together to learn more about how to improve your money management skills. Be Open about Debt If you have debt, make sure your partner knows how much and understands that one of your goals is to pay it off. If you both have debt, realize that you will be combining your |9
balances and tackling the new total together. Decide on a game plan to help tackle the debt and be comfortable with sharing the burden. If you still aren’t comfortable with combining finances when you owe a lot of debt, try to pay off as much as you can first. However, at the end of the day you should realize that if your partner is interested in sharing a life with you and merging both accounts together, he or she has already accepted your debt and it’s nothing to be ashamed of or feel bad about. Create a Brand New Budget Creating a new budget will help put everything into perspective. Sit down with your partner and make sure you list categories for all expenses, saving and additional spending including rent/mortgage, utilities, food, medical, debt payments, insurance, pets, emergency saving, kids, entertainment, vacations etc. Make sure you list everything along with what’s important to you and your partner.
make merging your finances become official and allow you to track your household spending and stick to your budget better. Don’t Judge Their Spending It’s best to avoid getting into the habit of judging your partner’s spending. In order to combine incomes, share a bank account and allow another person to see every little thing you spend money on, you have to put yourself in a very vulnerable position. Judging your partner’s spending or putting them down for purchasing certain things or failing to stick to the goals you both set can cause him or her to become defensive and lead to an argument. Instead, save all your in-depth comments and feedback for your money meetings or financial dates (if you like the more romantic term). Try not to attack them but understand where they’re coming from and make a compromise. They may be annoyed by some of your spending habits as well.
Then, add your monthly income to your partners’ and make sure the amount needed for the month according to your new budget doesn’t exceed your household income. You want it to fall below or meet your income at the very least, because you can never be too prepared for random expenses that pop up all the time.
One of the best ways to avoid related issues is to develop judgment-free bank accounts or allow you and your partner to keep a certain amount of money each month to spend as they please with no questions asked. Whether it’s $50, $100 or $200 each, you both shouldn’t criticize or ask any questions about how that money is being used.
Choose an Account When combining finances, you’ll need to make sure both you and your partner can access your funds at all times. You can do this by establishing joint checking and savings accounts. Having a joint account will really help you shift from the mindset of ‘my money’ to ‘our money’.
Combining finances with your partner can be a beneficial move when you’re ready and consider the entire picture. Keeping some of your independence with judgement-free allowances or accounts can also be a good idea for your situation. Either way, it’s best to be completely honest at all times and communicate thoroughly during the good and rough financial times
Choose whose bank you would like to go with or close your current account and you can both open an account with a new bank that offers the best benefits. It may feel weird at first, but using a joint account will 10 |
©2018 Dorethia Kelly – All Rights Reserved.
https://www.themoneychat.com/couples-takethese-steps-when-combining-finances .
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VIRTUOUSITY
ON THE COVER
Dr. Derschaun had the following to share with SISTAH Talk: SISTAH Talk: Who is Dr. Derschaun Brown? Dr. Derschaun: I am a woman of God, a wife, a mother of one and a business owner of several successful businesses to include a nonprofit where I get to do what I love, which is helping individuals succeed in life. Since the very beginning, my vision for the HIS Agency has been to empower inner-city with youth the tools needed to boost their self-esteem and confidence. My vision was cultivated through my childhood, education and life experiences. As a child, life was filled with challenges, yet my mother refused to allow those challenges to stifle my creativity. At eight years old, she enrolled me into charm school which not only taught me about manners and etiquette it helped build my confidence to pursue other creative endeavors in music, modeling and acting. My mother encouraged me to succeed. After graduating from high school, I earned a bachelor’s degree in health care administration from Davenport University and in 2013, I received an honorary Doctorate of Humane Letters. Most recently becoming a Certified Coach in 2019. Before founding the HIS Agency in 2004, I worked in human resources and then went on to work for the Detroit Public Schools (DPS). While working at DPS I facilitated programs that boosted the confidence and self-esteem of young boys and girls. In 2019 I wrote my first book entitled I am the Gift aimed at helping young ladies boost their confidence and self-esteem.
SISTAH Talk: Tell us about H.I.S. Agency. Dr. Derschaun: I started HIS Agency in 2004 after working in the school system and being asked to mentor a group of at-promise girls, which quickly turned into a whole class grade and eventually the whole school and then multiple schools to opening HIS Agency as a non-profit. I found there was such a need to develop girls who had low self-esteem because of childhood traumas that were causing them to make decisions that could cost them their lives. started this non-profit to work with scholars and their families focusing on life skills, etiquette, entrepreneurship and financial literacy. SISTAH Talk: What has been your motivation to develop the businesses you have? Dr. Derschaun: I have always been motivated by leaving a legacy for my son first, and second by growing businesses that allow me the freedom and flexibility to do what I want when I want while being compensated well as a result of the services I provide. Being an entrepreneur affords me that luxury, not to mention providing a service to clients that have a serious need to grow their entrepreneurial pursuits. While helping them to start and expand their businesses, I’m also showing business women how to show up confidently and boldly by demonstrating techniques to enhance their beauty effortlessly through my monthly Makeup for Beginners individual and group workshops and my biweekly Facebook LIVE makeup tutorials. SISTAH Talk: Tell us more about Makeup For Beginners. Dr. Derschaun: This workshop is a one-on-one or group makeup tutorial designed to show the everyday business woman/entrepreneur or CSuite executive the basic techniques to enhance their natural beauty while using only five products. Everybody doesn’t want to be “Beat to the Gawds” and women now more than ever don’t have time for a lot of steps and products. They
DR. DERSCHAUN BROWN
DR. DERSCHAUN BROWN is the Founder and President of Helping Individuals Succeed (HIS), a community driven, non-profit organization dedicated to developing positive character in the lives of innercity youth and their families. Raised in Detroit, MI, her desire to effect positive change in the community inspired the launch of the HIS Agency in August 2004.
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want it simple, yet beautiful. What I find is most women want to wear makeup but don’t know where to start, how to apply what they like properly, or what tools to use to get the look they want.
DR. DERSCHAUN BROWN
SISTAH Talk: What do you believe is the most difficult part of establishing a business or brand? Dr. Derschaun: I would say the most difficult part of establishing a business is finding your niche. Many entrepreneurs want to serve everyone and you can’t because everyone isn’t your client/customer. Find your tribe and sell them products and services that they need. Once you hone in on who your client is and you give them what they need, they will likely continue doing business with you and share your product/service with their friends and family. SISTAH Talk: What would you say to those who aspire to branch out into a new business? Dr. Derschaun: Just Do it! Even if you’re afraid, jump out on faith and do it! If God gave you the vision, He will give you the provision to do it. Lastly, done is better than perfect. Don’t wait for your business idea to have every detail that you desire it to have before you launch. Hit Go! Sometimes small details prolong the process and stall you from getting started. You don’t need a full website or popping headshots to launch your business. You need a product/service that you believe in that people have a need for. You can always improve it as you grow. JUMP! SISTAH Talk: What are some keys to entrepreneurial success? Dr. Derschaun: Three keys to entrepreneurial success are: (1) Find a need and fill it. Of course, there is nothing new under the sun, but how YOU do a thing is new; (2) Don’t quit when things get tough. Sometimes you are so close to your goal and you quit too soon; and (3) Find a mentor who has done it before to help navigate your path and assist you in building your business. SISTAH Talk: How can we contact you? Dr. Derschaun: You can contact me via email at derschaun@gmail.com or via phone at 313-5222503 or any social media outlet using the name Derschaun. There’s only one Derschaun in the world and she’s me.
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PAMPERRYPR.COM
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A SISTAH’S CLOSET S
One of the latest style trends is the super huge floppy hat. Not only is it stylish but it provides an extra layer of protection in a modern chic way. It is like parasol without a handle. Here are a few things to help encourage you to grab your stylishly protective hat as you walk out the door. * Weather temperature in not an indicator of UV strength. The rays may be stronger than you think. * Sleeveless tops feel great in hot weather however without a covering they can quickly suffer damage. * Wearing sunscreen is a layer of protection that may not be enough to thoroughly protect you. * Caps fail because they leave ears, sides of face, neck exposed. *Visors like caps leave many areas unprotected as well as leaving the scalp exposed. * Even in shaded areas the rays of the sun reflect from the ground and can bounce underneath from front, back and sides without you realizing it Floppy hats are a great, good-looking and easy way to layer up for the UV ray fight and look great! ©2021 Lenita Sue Swain-Cleveland – All Rights Reserved.
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MINDING SELF S
In pre-pandemic times, mental health advocates promoted the need for self-care. During and post-pandemic, self-care is and will be needed even more. So, what is selfcare? Self-care is taking care yourself. Family, career, church and other social commitments can drain you. You deserve a break! According to Mental Health America (n.d.), here’s how to get started: • Live healthy: Eat healthy foods, get enough sleep, exercise regularly, and avoid drugs and alcohol. Manage stress and go for regular medical [and mental health] check-ups.
These are therapeutic tips* that can refresh and refuel your emotional, mental, and physical health, and restore your sense of balance and overall well-being. Try it! You deserve a break! Dr. Cheryl *Tips are for educational and informational purpose only. Reference Mental Health American. (n.d.). Taking good care of yourself. Retrieved from https://mhanational.org/taking-good-careyourself © 2021 – Dr. Cheryl Merchant – All Rights Reserved.
• Practice good hygiene: Good hygiene is important for social, medical, and psychological reasons in that it not only reduces the risk of illness, but it also improves the way others view you and how you view yourself. • Connect with friends: Seeing your friends can help in building your sense of belonging. Consider joining a support group to make new friends. • Find ways to relax: Engaging in meditation, yoga, getting a massage, taking a bath, walking in the woods, [and aromatherapy and stress relief products (example: vanilla; lavender) are great ways to relax. My personal go-to for aromatherapy products is Heavenly Bliss Creations (www.heavenlyblisscreations.com)] (para.8). • Try doing something every day that you enjoy: Go dancing. Watch a favorite TV show. Plant/work in the garden. Try painting. Read a book you’ve been wanting to read. In addition, the suggestions above, my alltime favorite is to go on a weekend getaway alone, or with others who are calming and not stressful.
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Boss Women features seven African-American women who started their businesses by themselves or as co-founders with family members. Although some of these women may not have highly public profiles, they represent a variety of industries, and all of their businesses are successful. Some of the enterprises are relatively new, while others have been established for decades. The businesswomen profiled in this book are Janice M. Adams (JMA Solutions), Valerie Daniels-Carter (V&J Holdings Companies), Bea Dixon (Honey Pot), Janice Bryant Howroyd (The ACT One Group), Garnetta Sanders (Neta Scientific), Janell Stephens (Camille Rose Naturals), and J.C. Sykes (90 Degree Construction). Boss Women uses poetic phrasing to make it easier for children to read and understand. While reading each poetic profile, children will be able to see themselves in these women’s successes and dream big dreams for the future. The book is also a motivational tool for adults who are seeking encouragement on their entrepreneurial journeys.
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TO THE
LEVEL
Friday, Oct. 22 @ 4:00 p.m.
Presenter: Pam Perry, Marketing/PR Expert
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