Valentina Ericson Per Ericson, Editorial Writer at Svenska Dagbladet (one of Sweden’s biggest daily newspapers), passed away on 31 October, 2007 after a short period of illness. He leaves behind his beloved wife, Valentina, and two little girls who will forever miss their Daddy. Per Ericson was only 42 years old. In her book, Love in Sickness and in Health, Valentina Ericson shares her experience with honesty and openness. She describes the first meeting with the man who becomes her life partner. She also describes the progression of Per’s illness and the first couple of years without him. This book is a gripping story about never ending love, about the deepest sorrow and about the art of surviving when everything around you falls apart. It is also a declaration of love and a tribute to a beloved husband who died much too early.
Love in Sickness and in Health
Valentina Ericson
Love in Sickness and in Health
Books on Demand
Love in Sickness and in Health
This book was published first time in Sweden 2009 with the swedish title: Kärlek i nöd och lust Printing and publishing: Recito Förlag AB © 2009 Valentina Ericson ISBN: 978-91-7463-741-0 Printing and publishing: BoD © 2015 Valentina Ericson Translation: Gingerbread Translation Services
Prologue, 26 February 1994 It was a glorious winter’s day with bright sunshine and a temperature of five degrees below zero. Two of my friends from when I was studying in Kalmar had come to visit me over the weekend. We had spent the whole day in town, browsing in shops, pausing at a café and having lunch out. In the evening we were sitting at my place taking it easy, when they suddenly started talking about going out dancing. I was a bit tired but was talked into coming along. I got changed and we went to Rådhussalongen, a dance restaurant in the centre of Uppsala. As we walked in, I sensed something special in the air. It was magical. I felt that someone was observing me. When I looked up, I saw Per for the first time. He was so handsome and I didn’t quite get it that he was looking at me. I had to ask my friends who confirmed that, yes, he was looking at me. Neither of us dared to take the first step; we just stood at opposite ends of the room, looking shyly at each other. Eventually Per’s friend, Tomas came up to me and began to make conversation. 1
Now I had my chance. Per was standing somewhat tentatively behind Tomas. I walked passed Tomas, and Per and I started talking to each other. Time stood still. We were totally absorbed in one another. We talked, laughed and danced the entire evening. When we parted, Per asked me for my telephone number. Of course I was happy to give it to him. My friends and I strolled back to my apartment in the middle of the night. I was walking on little pink clouds. The next day Per called and asked if I would like to have coffee with him and then go and see a movie together. Of course I would. Ever since we’d met yesterday I hadn’t been able to think of anything other than our fantastic evening together. After our cinema visit I invited Per for dinner at my place. Once again we had a totally magical evening. The day after our first dinner I arrived home from a school day when I hadn’t heard a word of what our teacher had said. I was completely immersed in my 2
own little world. Outside the door of my apartment I found a parcel of flowers. When I opened it there were seven long stemmed red roses and a card, which said: “Thanks for yesterday! Per�. I sat there on my doorstep with tears rolling down my face. If I had not already seen it, I realised it now. I had met the man with whom I wanted to spend the rest of my life. Following that evening, our love story continued in the same manner – much love, lots of laughter, many experiences and eventually, two fantastic children. I could hardly believe it was true that I had received everything I ever dared to dream of, and even more.
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Saturday, 14 July 2007 I wake and get out of bed at seven am. The rest of my family is still asleep. Outside the birds are singing and the sun is shining. It’s going to be a beautiful summer’s day. I sit down at the kitchen table, flipping through the morning papers while I’m having a cup of tea and a sandwich. Suddenly I hear a little voice calling “Mummy!” It’s our little sunbeam, one and a half year-old Julia, who has woken up. I warm some milk and take it in to her. Ten minutes later, someone else is calling for mummy. This time it’s our little princess, five year-old Sofie, who is awake. She too gets some warm milk to drink. After a little while, my husband Per comes out to the kitchen. He puts his arms around me, kisses me and says: “Good morning darling!” He has done that every morning since we met thirteen and a half years ago. This afternoon we’re going to visit some good friends who live a short distance outside of town. Since the weather is good, we decide to make a little bike excursion with the girls during the morning. After a little bit of preparation 4
we’re on our way. We cycle along the Fyris River that runs through Uppsala towards the bridge, called Kungsängsbron. We sit down on our blanket and eat our snack of flat bread rolls with ham and cheese. Julia is bouncing up and down like a yo-yo but manages to consume half a roll. After the picnic we stop at the “Yellow Villa” in the City Park and eat some ice-cream. Then it’s time for Julia’s midday nap. We get on our bikes, ride back home and put her to bed. Two hours later she wakes up, and it’s time to take the bus out to where our friends live. While we’re sitting on the bus, an overwhelming feeling of happiness floods over me. I look at my wonderful family and think about how lucky I’ve been. I have a wonderful husband who is goodlooking, kind, successful in his work and who loves me above all else on this earth. I have two wonderful, healthy girls. Is anyone allowed to be this happy? The afternoon and evening turn out just as we had imagined. We enjoy lovely food, play games and have a really good time. Life is great. We return home and put the children to bed. Then Per and I go to bed ourselves. We lie there talking about what 5
a nice evening we’ve had. Then we fall asleep in one another’s arms.
Friday, 20 July I go to work as usual, whilst Per is on holidays and stays home with the girls. At lunchtime we meet outside the bank and go to McDonalds for our meal. When I get home from work around 5 o’clock, Per seems tired. I ask him how he is, and he says he is feeling hot. We take his temperature and find that he has a fever. Then we discuss back and forth what to do about the weekend. We have booked a weekend at the Gimo Herrgård (Manor house) where we had planned to celebrate our wedding anniversary, which was yesterday, but now it looks as though we’re going to have to cancel that. I call Gimo Herrgård and cancel the booking, saying that we’ll be coming as soon as my husband is well again.
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The beginning of August 2007 Per still has a fever and is coughing up mucus. He is also getting red spots on his face. We decide to contact the medical information service. Per speaks to a nurse who asks him to call again if the spots get worse. With every day that passes, the spots are growing and getting worse.
Thursday, 9 August Per has an appointment at the Gastrointestinal Clinic at Uppsala University Hospital where he goes for his annual check-up due to the fact that he suffers from Crohn’s Disease. It’s good that he has an appointment today, because he can show them his spots at the same time. When the doctor sees the blemishes he says that he has never seen anything like it and writes out a referral to the Dermatology Clinic. Per gets an appointment for the very next day. The doctors Per meets there are also unsure as
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to what it is. They do various tests to find out if it might be some kind of infection.
Monday, 20 August One of the doctors Per met at the Dermatology Clinic calls and asks Per to come back on Friday this week. There will be many skin specialists gathered there on that day. They can look at Per and might have some idea as to what is causing the outbreak. Per still has a fever and is coughing up phlegm.
Friday, 24 August This is a day I’ll never forget. I go to Gränby Shopping Centre with my sister to do my weekly shopping. Per goes to the Dermatology Clinic as planned. We agree that he will contact me as soon as he knows anything. He calls me while my sister and I are sitting down having coffee. He says that he is being admitted for tests at the Dermatology Clinic next Tuesday. After we’ve hung up I begin to cry. I try to tell my sister what Per has said, but it’s 8
difficult. I’m so afraid of losing him. She tries to calm me down, pats me on the arm and says that it will be alright, but I’m not convinced. The feeling of dread refuses to leave me.
Monday, 27 August Today I meet one of my closest friends at a café in Uppsala. We’ve known each other for about ten years. We were neighbours before we moved to our current apartment. When we have ordered our coffee and found somewhere to sit, she asks how my family is. My reaction takes me by surprise. I begin to weep and tell her that Per is being admitted into hospital tomorrow. I talk about not being able to live without him and that he is everything to me. She does her best to calm me down, but I don’t really receive it.
Tuesday, 28 August I leave the girls at the day-care centre and then head straight for the Dermatology Clinic, where Per is being admitted. We 9
get to meet a doctor who informs us of what they are planning to do. They will be doing various blood tests and they will also X-ray Per’s lungs. The next day they will be doing a biopsy on one of the blemishes, which now look like large boils. They have even spread to the rest of his body. Per still has a fever and is coughing up phlegm. I spend most of the day with Per. We say to each other that it’s all going to be alright. Now, at least Per is at the hospital, and this is where they can help you get well.
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Valentina Ericson Per Ericson, Editorial Writer at Svenska Dagbladet (one of Sweden’s biggest daily newspapers), passed away on 31 October, 2007 after a short period of illness. He leaves behind his beloved wife, Valentina, and two little girls who will forever miss their Daddy. Per Ericson was only 42 years old. In her book, Love in Sickness and in Health, Valentina Ericson shares her experience with honesty and openness. She describes the first meeting with the man who becomes her life partner. She also describes the progression of Per’s illness and the first couple of years without him. This book is a gripping story about never ending love, about the deepest sorrow and about the art of surviving when everything around you falls apart. It is also a declaration of love and a tribute to a beloved husband who died much too early.
Love in Sickness and in Health