Vol 1 Issue 1 by Starfish Snowskate Magazine

   

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             



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 

   

 

 



  

    

  

 



  

  





   

        

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 

              

    

    

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  

JUST A RACER?

   

                           

   

                      



   

  

   

                          

                                                   

                  

                            

                                    

    

                                            

                            

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     

 

                    



      

  

             

     



       



      



        



  



     



   

 

 

 

          

    

Yeah dude, I’m totally fucked up!

 

           





   

 

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                                                        

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           

snow

                           When I was a kid, somewhere between the time when I got my first skateboard and when I discovered that girls were cute, I was heavy into D&D. I think it was all the cool drawings of dudes slaying dragons and all the other evil shit that existed so vividly in my fantasy Dungeons and Dragons world. I played with this dungeon master kid in my school named Bob Crapser (no shit!) and he hated the fact that I cheated my ass off just so that I could woop ass all over the dark world. And I did so with reckless abandon. Dragons, ogres, witches, hydras, gargoyles, bunnies, whatever, I didn’t care. With a broad sword in one hand and a battle axe in the other blood spewed from anything

 

that moved. While I was punishing the underworld Le Force was my soundtrack. I had no idea at the time, but these were the sounds I heard in my head as I rode my heavy metal death train. With heavy guitars, rock solid drums, no bass and no lyrics to bog it down, Le Force’s blistering guitar licks kick more medieval ass then I could have ever imagined. Straight outta Salt Lake City, this is the kind of metal that comes from growing up under the thumb of a backward institution like the Church of Latter Day Saints. They gotta self released EP and a new full length on Wantage USA records. Do not miss the live show when it comes to your town. www.le-force.com, Heavy metal and politics? Hell yes!!! Punk rock awareness and heavy fucking metal combine to prove that all metal heads are not just jocks in hessians clothing. These guys are dead serious. I mean how many metal bands give a damn about the plight of the endangered great white shark, the injustices perpetrated against Native Americans, vegetarians that wear leather, or the atrocities of prison life? When these lyrics are put to Consume’s relentless speed/metal/power/crust/ punk riffs and lightning fast drums (with absolutely no double bass drummer masturbation) you too will scream along in anger against the system. From right here in Seattle comes some of the heaviest hitting metal I have ever heard. I’ve got two of their seven inches, “Who’s the real Monster” and “Forked Tongue”. I know they have other shit out and I guarantee it kicks more ass than any big label contract metal bullshit. Definitely will not be found on KEXP’s play list. Consume 1916 Pike place, Suite 12 #719 Seattle, WA 98101-1097. Wake up, time to make the donuts. Fuck, I gotta drive down to the city today and pick up a bunch of shit for work. Maybe I can sneak in a lunch break skate session. Call the homies, it’s a go, afternoon pool session is the call. Perfect, I can hit that Taco Truck on Rainier too. Gotta hit my least favorite shop on the way down for a king pin. “Robin you don’t sell just king pins?” “No.” “You don’t even sell Indy’s?” “No, but we have Indy t-shirts.” Fuck this place, on the way out the door I see some Cosmo sized snowboard magazine resort guide, look up my favorite spot… Great, some fucking corporate kook is blowing out my spot, I hate when people blow shit out!!! F#@$CK!!! My day is taking a turn for the worse. Back on the road, get a call from the big boss man. “Why haven’t you done this, why haven’t you done that? Blah, blah blah.” “Cause you’re a dick, that’s why!” Click. Yeah right, so I weasel my way out of a tight one, I’m still employed, sweet. Turn on the radio, Colin

Powell resigns and the whole world hates my country more than ever! Great! Still rollin’, bling bling, the celly rings again. It’s the  editor!!! “When are you gonna be done with your heavy metal article? I made you! Do I have to write this one too? We gotta have this done by bitch, bitch, BITCH.”... “I’m working on it, I’m working on it. I’ll have it for you next week. I think I’m getting an idea for it right now.” WHOA! Look out for methed out truckers trying to run me over. Fuck it seems like they’re out to get me today. Get to the electrical supply store. “What do you mean you don’t have the part I ordered? You called yesterday and told me it was in!” “Well you see, we gave it to some other guy because blah, blah, blah we’ll have a new one for you tomorrow.” Tomorrow!?!? F@% #$@CK!!! This day fucking sucks! I’m going skating. Jump on the I-5… SCREEECH! Gridlock. F@&*CK!!! This day is insane!!! There is only one thing to do, hit up some Totalitar, crank it. I thought I was pissed off, these guys are really FUCKING pissed off. I don’t know what the hell these Norse-metal rockers are talking about but whatever it is I like it! Poach the carpool lane, all right, now we’re moving. Next thing I know I’m sneaking in the back yard right as the homies are drying out the last wet spot in the pool, I jury-rig my truck with an old kingpin and it’s on! -

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                                                                         

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