Social work circle
“Listening skills are not something we are naturally born with” Social worker Lorinda Lonie tells us why she thinks that listening is an evolving skill and offers a few simple suggestions for how we can make improvements which will positively impact our practice. Being inspired through supervision. Recently, I saw a service manager I had worked with and felt so happy to see him. I reflected on why I respect and admire him so much compared to other managers I have worked with. The realisation was that he valued me as a person and genuinely took the time to listen. He ‘mirrored’, which is repeating back words or whole sentences I had said in a way that made me think more deeply about their meaning. By simply stating “let me know if this is what you are saying...” gave me confidence that he was listening. This particular service manager had great eye contact, and his tone of voice was warm and welcoming. He made me feel relaxed and at ease. He did not interrupt me mid-sentence to share his opinion and asked open-ended questions to help me explain my thoughts, feelings, fears and accomplishments. He did not jump in to give me answers or problem solve for me. He allowed me time to figure out what my next steps should be in order to support service users. He often used silence as a tool to allow me time to process information. It was not a long silence; just enough time for me to understand and digest what he said. At no time in his supervision did I feel rushed or that he was preoccupied. He was able to give me his full attention and focus on what I needed to do to be successful in my practice. It was refreshing to observe him in chair meetings. I could see how each person contributed based on his ability to make them feel safe and heard. It can be easy to only listen to what we want to hear, and even harder to listen to everyone’s opinion and ensure that all voices in the room are heard. He was able to reflect back and summarise the main points made in a clear and concise manner. I learned that it was not necessary for families or professionals to have the same opinions. Being heard makes a huge difference in whether they will return and commit to a plan, project or concept.
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