Soul Survivor Mini Mag

SOUL MINI MAG - WINTER 2013/14 -

FEATURING Should you date someone who doesn’t believe in Jesus?

How to read the Bible Ali & Andy answer your questions on porn Details of the brand new live album!

W W W. S O U L S U R V I V O R . C O M THIS MAGAZINE IS FREE – IT’S NOT FOR SALE. NO ONE SHOULD BE. JOIN OUR STAND CAMPAIGN TO HELP END SLAVERY.

SOUL MINI MAG - WINTER 2013/14 -

HELLO LITTLE ONES We’ve been missing you since the summer! We loved seeing so many of you and worshipping God together; he did so many amazing things we’re still not sure we’ve got our heads around them all.

One of the things we’re really passionate about is that we all keep pursuing God all year round. The summer can be a real high of gathering together and God does great things in those times but he’s with us all the time wherever we are and whatever we’re doing. One of our most incredible resources to help us in our relationship with God is the Bible and we’d encourage you to make reading it part of your daily life. The Bible is an amazing way to get to know God, to learn about his character, to see some of the incredible things he has done and to understand how he wants us to live. We know it can sometimes be hard to know where to start so Andy and I have written a little article to give you a few ideas. As we head into the New Year, let’s resolve to seek God by getting into his word every day.

We hope you enjoy reading this mag – we always love getting your feedback and ideas for future mags so do let us know what you think (you can email editor@soulsurvivor.com). Have a great Christmas and New Year and we hope to see you soon.

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With love, Mike.

PS. Exam results 2014 If you’re expecting A-level/GCSE results next summer we don’t want you to miss out on being at Soul Survivor! On results days we’ll open a cafe at 8am so you can check your results online. Your parents can pre-book a free day pass to visit, our Chat Room team will be on hand to talk and pray through results, and for A-level results we’re hoping to have some sixth form tutors on hand to give advice. Throughout the week you can charge your mobile for free and use our wi-fi.

A-level results 14th August (Day 3 of Week B) GCSE results 21st August (Day 5 of Week C).

Who is Mike?

Mike heads up Soul Survivor and its associated church Soul Survivor Watford. Despite his unusual taste in shirts and his crazy hair styles, he somehow managed to persuade the Church of England to let him be a fullyfledged Rev.

WHAT’S INSIDE 04

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How to read the Bible Mike P and Andy Croft give us some ideas for getting stuck in to God’s word.

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Your stories!

We’ve loved reading your testimonies from Soul Survivor 2013 so we thought you might like to read some of them too!

Porn is everywhere Ali Martin and Andy Croft look at our porn-obsessed culture and answer some of your questions.

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An incredible experience

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I’m no leader

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Goodies

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What’s on?

Paul took a gap year with urban youth charity XLP – he tells us how it changed his life.

Do you have to have it all sorted to be a leader?

Bob Wallington looks at how we’re all leaders and influencers, sorted or not!

Thinking about some Christmas shopping or want to get your hands on some great resources? Check out what’s in our shop!

We’ve got loads of events lined up for you over the coming year. Hope to see you soon!

I date a non-Christian?

20 Can Rachel Gardner and André Adefope take a look at how our faith impacts our dating.

taking a STAND! 23 We’re All the latest on our Soul Action campaign to help end slavery.

Get in touch We make our home at: 16 Paramount Industrial Estate, Sandown Road Watford, Herts, WD24 7XA T: 0303 333 1333 E: info@soulsurvivor.com

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HOW DO WE

READ THE BIBLE? - BY MIKE PILAVACHI AND ANDY CROFT The Bible is an incredible gift that God has given us and yet many times we can struggle with how to read it.

The first thing we’d say is: read it prayerfully.

The Bible was written by the Holy Spirit so it follows that he who inspired the Bible is the best interpreter of it. Before reading God’s word it’s always good to ask the Holy Spirit to reveal the truths of it to us. This in no way suggests that we leave our brains at the door; it does mean we choose to come to the Bible in humility, with an attitude less of us examining and dissecting it, and more of it examining and dissecting us.

‘For the word of God is living and active.

Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.’ Hebrews 4:12

There are loads of different ways we can read the Bible. Sometimes it’s helpful to read it as a novel to get the big picture. It’s like looking at a scenic painting and taking in the whole of the canvas. But then, in order to appreciate the painting more, you have to look more closely and it’s useful to get some expert help - someone who can point out the different shades, the way the colours blend into each other, the way the artist has painted so as to draw the eye here or there.

Having taken in the big picture, we now take our magnifying glass and study carefully particular books, passages or themes. It’s often very helpful to learn from those who have studied before us – Bible teachers and writers of commentaries and study guides.

LET’S HAVE A LOOK AT A FEW PRACTICAL EXAMPLES VERSE-BY-VERSE STUDIES For example take one of the letters. Read it through verse by verse, line by line, asking the questions ‘who was the letter written to? What was the purpose of the letter?

What questions was the letter trying to answer? What was the historical context the letter was written in? In other words, we are trying to read the white spaces between the sentences in order to understand the

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sentences. Reading commentaries and study aids written by biblical historians who have looked into this helps us answer these questions. The basic question we’re trying to answer here is: ‘what did it mean?’ Only when we have some answers to this question can we begin to answer the second, more practical question: what does it mean for my life today?

Sometimes if we don’t attempt to answer the first question we can misread the Scripture and come up with some very bizarre answers to the second question.

CHARACTER STUDIES

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Don’t give up on your dreams and gifting

This is another great way of studying Scripture. To look, for example, at the life of Joseph and ask what lessons you can learn.

Joseph has dreams as a young man and he seems to boast about these dreams. He is then sold into slavery, unjustly accused of rape, imprisoned and forgotten for years.

Eventually he is released. His gift with dreams is used and he prospers. His original dream is fulfilled when his brothers come and bow before him, but God has so worked humility into him through the years of suffering, that instead of boasting he weeps. Three of the great lessons from the life of Joseph are:

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God uses suffering to prepare us for success, so that when it comes it won’t ruin us

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God is sovereign; he is in charge even when it doesn’t feel like that

MEDITATION To go back to our painting, having learnt about the artist’s reasons for painting, studied the way he created it and looked at it with our magnifying glass and expert advice, if the painting is any good then we will want to simply stand and enjoy it. We may look at one part of the painting and allow it to speak to us. Christian meditation on the Bible has a long history but is undervalued today.

Practically, this can be simply taking one verse or one line and gazing at it for days

So by doing a character study through the Bible, the lives of these people can speak profoundly into our lives today.

THEMES A third way to study Scripture is to look at themes that run all the way through. It can even take the form of the word study, for example ‘glory’ ‘kingship’ ‘faith’ or ‘joy’. and allowing it to speak to us. An example could be the first line of Psalm 23. This line can be read at least five different ways. First meditate for a few minutes on this: ‘THE Lord is my shepherd’, then ‘The LORD is my shepherd’, then ‘The Lord IS my shepherd’, then ‘The Lord is MY shepherd’ and finally, ‘The Lord is my SHEPHERD’. If you’ve spent time on this you will have mined depths to this one line that we would never have thought were there simply be reading it and moving on.

It’s good for us to take all these approaches at different times like a healthy and balanced diet.

If we are to get the best out of God’s word (or God’s word is to get the best out of us) then approaching the Bible in different ways is essential.

This article is an extract from Mike and Andy’s book ‘Storylines’ which explores the themes that run throughout the Bible such as covenant, kingdom, presence and worship. You can order the book for £5.99 incl UK p&p from shop.soulsurvivor.com.

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SUMMER We loved hanging out with you this summer – God did so many amazing things! We thought you might like to read some of the stories we’ve been told of how God met with people…

“I have suffered from severe depression for the last six years and with self-harm for the last two.

I got prayed for on the first morning and now I know that Jesus has begun to heal me. I know that it will be a long road but I am not going to be alone because he is always going to be beside me and he won’t leave me no matter how hard things get. He will never leave us.”

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“Even though I was walking with Jesus I didn’t realise that I was holding so much back. This summer I was able to connect with Jesus, free myself and prepare for my continuing journey. I was able to pray for people, where before I was too afraid and felt that I wasn’t good enough. I also was able to take a step and come out to the front for prayer which is a big deal for me.”

This morning my AS results were pretty disappointing but it was such a relief for me to realise that it’s OK for me to fail sometimes because God never fails me. I trust God completely and I know that his plan for me is so much better than anything I could dream up for myself. I can’t wait to see what he has in store for me!”

Last year I suffered from a severe eating problem. I went days without eating and would then only eat as little as a piece of bread. Last year at Soul Survivor Week B I went for prayer several times and now am healthy! I eat three meals a day and regularly lead worship at my church. God has completely turned my life around – thank you Lord!”

I feel stronger in my faith and I have a passion to bring others closer to Jesus. My heart is set on fire for him and I want everyone to know him.”

I spoke in tongues for the very first time, felt at peace and forgave somebody who I thought I could never forgive.”

I learnt that I am capable of making a difference to other people in the world.”

Before Soul Survivor I was very unhappy and used to cut myself to punish myself if I did something wrong or to express my anger.

These five days have been the happiest of my life. I feel like God has said I’m worth it and I don’t feel angry or depressed. Now I want to live for God.”

We love reading all your stories and we’re already expectant of what God will do when we get together in the summer of 2014! If you’ve got a story you’d like to share email testimonies@soulsurvivor.com – we’d love to hear from you.

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PORN IS EVERYWHERE - BY ALI MARTIN AND ANDY CROFT It seems like porn is everywhere and when everyone around us seems to be encouraging us to watch it, it can be pretty difficult to avoid.

So what’s the big deal?

What does God think about sex and porn?

How can porn affect us even if we’re not the ones watching it?

And what does it mean to live Godly and fulfilling lives in a porn-obsessed culture?

We put your questions to Andy and Ali to see what they had to say.

IS GOD ANTI-SEX? Definitely not! God invented our bodies, he invented sex and he invented orgasms!

The Bible celebrates sex - have a read of Song of Songs to see what we mean – and the first command God gave Adam and Eve was to procreate.

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If we watch porn we are doing it to satisfy our own desires and have no commitment to the people we’re watching.”

IF SEX ISN’T WRONG, WHY IS PORN?

God is all about relationship. The fact that he is Father, Son and Holy Spirit shows us how relationships were designed to work as the trinity is fully committed to one another, dependent on one another, and submits to one another. God is also passionate about us living life to its fullest and not settling for things that don’t really satisfy. Sex was given to us as a gift to be enjoyed in the context of marriage because that is a committed relationship for life.

God knows that marriage is where sex can truly flourish because sex is at its best when both partners are more concerned with the needs and fulfilment of the other person, than they are with their own (see Ephesians 5:21-33 to read how God wants husbands and wives to treat one another).

Porn is also a huge lie. The more we watch porn the more we believe that it shows us what sex should be like but real sex is a far cry from porn. Watching porn trains our minds to think sex is about taking and using other people for our own pleasure, whereas God’s ideal for sex is that it’s about both partners wanting to take care of the other person’s needs. In porn a woman is usually dumb and used, even abused. It’s dangerous for us to think that’s normal or even acceptable. We’re also bombarded with images of perfect bodies which can make us judge our own bodies, or those of the girls/guys around us through an unhealthy filter. No-one has a perfect body and no one is up for sex all the time – porn is feeding us unhealthy and damaging lies!

So one of the problems with porn is that it takes sex out of the context of marriage and relationship. If we watch porn we are doing it to satisfy our own desires and have no commitment to the people we’re watching. There is no relationship there which means it will never truly satisfy us.

People can make us think if we stop ourselves from watching porn we’re missing out on something but the truth is we were made for more than porn could ever offer us.

Continued on next page

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WHY IS IT SO HARD TO RESIST? Hormones have a lot to answer for! Our minds and our bodies often respond to sexual imagery whether we want them to or not.

Watching porn can give us a short term satisfaction but leave us feeling hollow and numbed to true intimacy. It’s also been proven that porn has an addictive quality so the more you see the more you want to see, and often the more explicit the material people seek out.

How can I stop myself from watching porn?

If you’re struggling with watching porn you need to know you’re not alone and God loves you. When we sin and make mistakes we can have a tendency to hide from God and from others but that’s not what he wants. Isolation kills us. We often try and stop ourselves sinning

by setting a list of rules but rules don’t deal with the heart of why we wanted to sin in the first place.

Usually with porn it comes from a place of loneliness and a longing for intimacy. We need to bring those feelings to God and ask him to meet us there rather than covering up those feelings by watching porn.

It’s a good idea to get accountable with someone you trust who won’t make you feel ashamed but who won’t say it’s OK for you to be watching porn either. Talk to them, pray with them and ask them to hold you accountable for what you’re watching.

You can download software from XXXchurch that will email your accountability partner with a list of websites you’ve visited.

IS READING ‘50 SHADES OF GREY’ THE SAME AS WATCHING PORN?

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Yes in that it’s really unhelpful. Reading about sex (or listening to sexually explicit music) trains our brains to think about sex more, and provides us with mental images and wrong understandings of sex and relationships. For example in 50 Shades the female character is helpless and brainless and the relationship is often abusive. That’s a terrible role model!

Men and women should be equal in relationships and if you’re with a boyfriend or girlfriend who treats you like you’re less than them, dump them!

WILL THE STUFF I’VE ALREADY SEEN ALWAYS AFFECT ME? We can’t scrub our memories clean but God can transform our minds. He renews us and restores us so even if you’ve already seen loads of stuff you wish you hadn’t, God can change your heart so you’re not carrying it with you into future relationships.

WHAT SHOULD I SAY TO MY BOYFRIEND / GIRLFRIEND IF THEY ARE WATCHING PORN? You’ve got to be honest and direct about it (particularly if it’s your boyfriend - guys aren’t always that good at picking up on subtle hints!). The truth is that if you’re in a relationship with someone who is watching porn it will impact you but they might not realise that. It can make you feel like you’re not enough for them, that you’re being judged by unrealistic standards, or expected to do things you don’t want to do.

Talk about it honestly, encourage them to get accountable so they can stop, and if they won’t, consider whether this is a healthy relationship for you to be in.

Ali and Andy are both part of the leadership team at Soul Survivor and its associated church Soul Survivor Watford.

If you’d like to hear more about honouring God and each other in a pornobsessed culture, you can download Ali and Andy’s talk from the summer called ‘Porn is everywhere’ from: www.shop.soulsurvivor.com

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AN INCREDIBLE

EXPERIENCE At Soul Survivor 2011 I wandered around the ToolShed in the hope that I would find a gap year that was right for me. I felt God was calling me into youth work and I wanted to do a gap year to affirm that.

I started chatting to a guy on the XLP stand and he told me that they work on the estates and in the schools of inner-city London, helping young people to work towards more positive futures. I felt like my heart was on fire; this was the gap year for me! When I got accepted I was in tears thanking God for the opportunity; I couldn’t wait to start.

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I had been living with my family in Portsmouth and moving to London was quite a culture shock. We were working in schools where some students couldn’t speak English, going onto estates where high-rise blocks created

concrete jungles, and meeting with young people who were in trouble with the police.

One of the biggest challenges was facing the unknown and uncomfortable; working in an area known for its gangs and which the media calls a ‘hellish’ place was terrifying at first. I was definitely taken out of my comfort zone!

Each week we got involved with lunchtime clubs, working on estates, homework clubs, serving the local church and taking part in team training, reflection and planning sessions.

Throughout the year God moulded me and shaped me. I loved being on a team of people who would pray and worship together, support and encourage one another and just have fun. I loved working with the incredible young people and realising that the media were so wrong about them. I don’t see the area I work in as a ‘hellish’ place, but a place of beauty, where there is so much undiscovered potential within each and every young person.

It was great to wake up each day excited about the work ahead of me.

One of the most painful things was when a young person was murdered on one of the estates where we worked. As a team we decided to do a prayer walk that ended at the spot where the boy was killed. There flowers had been laid by the community with a Bible resting above them. As I stood there in tears I started to wonder ‘Where on earth are you God?’ In that moment a voice interrupted my thoughts and said, ‘If you feel like this, how do you think I feel when I have been here the whole time?’ I strongly believed it was from God and started to realise that God is everywhere, even in the areas the media call ‘hellish’.

There were also many highs and I have enjoyed working with every young person

I’ve built a relationship with. One of them in particular, Robert*, was one of the first people I got to know. He came to the homework club every week and the bus project on the estates. He was quiet to start with but throughout the year I saw Robert grow to become an incredible student who is achieving so much in his studies and is feeling positive about his GCSEs. He’s also grown in confidence and now always asks if I want to hang out with him during the projects. It has been such a honour to work with him and see him achieve some of his potential.

It has been an absolute privilege to be on a gap year with XLP. It has really shown me how passionate I am about young people, working alongside them and seeing them realise their full potential. Every day we were simply following Jesus’ command to love our neighbours. I would recommend a gap year to anyone who is willing to be challenged and changed as I am definitely not the same person I was at the start of the year. I have been challenged, inspired and blown away by the incredible experiences I have had, my perspective has changed, and my eyes have been opened to just how awesome our God is. *not his real name

ABOUT PAUL Paul Phillip is 19 years old and studying for a BA in Theology and Youth Ministry at St Mellitus College. He also does youth work in the borough of Southwark with XLP and Peckham Park Road Baptist Church.

XLP is an urban youth work charity based in London with a passion to create positive futures for young people. If you’re interested in their work or in taking a gap year with XLP, visit their website www.xlp.org.uk and find out more.

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I’M NOT A LEADER… “Are you sure you’re asking the right person?

I’m just not really a leader.”

This was Hannah’s response to her very well meaning, but in her eyes somewhat deluded, youth leader who asked her to lead a small group (cell group/life group/mission group/ jump up and down and do the Hokey-Cokey group/whatever you like to call it group!).

Somehow this brilliant youth leader had missed the fact that Hannah hated standing up in front of people at church, youth group or school, her family background was far from perfect, she still had quite a few unanswered questions about God that played on her mind, and there were other people in the youth group who she thought would be much better leaders. Surely she wasn’t the right kind of person to be a LEADER!?

There is a myth that has been floating around for years that leadership is a canvas that only the ultra-confident, fully equipped and ‘got it all sorted’ kind of people can paint on. For

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those of us who lack confidence, feel pretty ill-equipped to lead, and at times feel like life is more ‘all over the place’ than ‘all sorted’, it can sometimes seem like we should leave the leading to other people.

When we look at people in the Bible there is only one leader in the whole book who had it all together, was totally secure in who he was and was perfectly equipped to be a leader, and that was God himself in human skin! Every other leader that we read about in scripture is far from perfect and in fact sometimes you’d be forgiven for wanting to say to God: “Really? You chose that person to be a leader? You are crazy!”

Take Moses for example. God used him as a leader even though he had huge speech problems, and had murdered someone. Then you could look at Paul (originally Saul), who delighted in whipping and stoning people who

believed in Jesus, and God used him to set up most of the early church! Joseph had an issue with pride, David made some very bad decisions about a girl (and her husband) and Peter had a mouth that worked three times as fast as his brain! These people were far from perfect and they probably would have doubted their own ability to lead many times.

So, if leadership is not about being perfect or feeling confident in our own ability, that means that everyone is able to lead, and saying that you’re not ready to lead just puts you in the same category as Moses, David, Esther, Peter and Paul, and the rest of them!

Suddenly leadership doesn’t feel like an art-form for perfect people, but rather, an adventure for imperfect people.

At its very core, leadership is all about influence. You don’t have to be on a stage to have influence - we all influence people every day, in our families, our classes and our friendship groups. That’s leading. Even in the small conversations you have with people you barely know, or the things you post on Facebook, you are influencing in some way. Hannah’s youth leader knew she was a leader. She noticed that Hannah was someone who set the example. When

she worshipped God, others in the group noticed her passion and they were inspired to worship God too. When Hannah played hockey she always wanted to play her best and it showed on the pitch, so others on the team followed her example. Amongst her friends she tried not to engage in the gossiping and back-stabbing; she challenged the culture and so her friends began to do it less and less. She had spoken to one or two friends about her faith and love for God and how it had impacted her decision not to have sex before marriage. Her friends actually thought that it was a pretty inspiring decision and began thinking about valuing those decisions more highly in their own lives. Hannah’s youth leader knew all of this.

She knew Hannah was already leading and influencing in a positive way and that’s why it was natural to ask if she would also lead a small group. It wasn’t because Hannah was perfect or immensely talented - it was because she had taken hold of the influence she had and she was using it for good. She was leading already, she just didn’t know it.

How about you? Do you realise that you’re a leader? Don’t be put off by the title: just think about how you could use the influence you have for God’s glory.

Bob is Associate Director of Onelife, an organisation that exists to connect and equip young people to become exceptional leaders in every area of society. You can find out about Onelife events at www.onelifeonline.org.uk and connect on Twitter @onelifeleaders.

If you’d like to listen to Bob’s talk from Soul Survivor 2013 on ‘how to lead a revolution’ you can download it for £1 from shop.soulsurvivor.com.

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RESOURCES — SHOP.SOULSURVIVOR.COM —

We’ve been giving our shop a little bit of a make-over and packed it full of resources we think will help you in your relationship with Jesus. Here’s just a taster of what you’ll find at shop.soulsurvivor.com!

THE FLOOD BRAND NEW 2013 LIVE ALBUM!

£11.99

We loved worshipping God with you all this summer and we hope that The Flood captures the essence of that worship.

It features worship leaders Beth Croft, Sam Bailey, Rend Collective and Tom Field.

THE FLOOD TRACK LIST

BONUS MOMENTUM CD!

01 THE FLOOD* 02 LET IT BE KNOWN 03 YOUR LOVE NEVER FAILS 04 SAY THE WORD* 05 MY LIGHTHOUSE 05 CORNERSTONE 06 MAGNIFICENT KINDNESS* 07 HE IS ALIVE 08 LOVE ME HOME 09 SOVEREIGN OVER US 10 FOR THE SAKE OF THE WORLD 11 HOLY SPIRIT

01 10,000 REASONS 02 PURIFY* 04 ALABASTER* 05 ONE TOUCH* 06 GREATER THAN 07 PSALM WITHOUT WORDS * You’ll find free chord charts for all the songs indicated on our website under Resources, plus demos of a number of tracks recorded by Beth, Sam and Tom.

TALKS!

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FREE!

If you think you can stomach more of Mike’s bad jokes head to our YouTube channel and check out the teaching videos there including each of our Saturday celebrations. www.youtube.com/soulsurvivoruk

20TH ANNIVERSARY COLLECTION

£11.99

Can you believe we’ve hit our twenties?!

To celebrate our 20th summer we put together a collection of some of our favourite tracks from over the years featuring Tim Hughes, Matt Redman, Beth Croft, Delirious? and Ben Cantelon.

SOUL SURVIVOR YOUTH BIBLE

£11.77

Resolving to spend more time reading the Bible in 2014? Our Youth Bible is packed full of extra info to help you get to grips with God’s word! We’ve gathered over 500 articles on topics like suffering, destiny, depression, money, sacrifice and more to help you get stuck into the Bible.

LOOKING FOR A GOOD BOOK? HOW ABOUT ONE OF THESE! HEART TO HEART

£6.99

Ali Martin & Liza Hoeksma take a look at the importance of our hearts and how we can find peace, satisfaction and hope.

GET IT ACROSS LOUD & CLEAR Shop.soulsurvivor.com All of our prices incl UK p&p. If you order before 17th December we’ll pop it in the post in time for Christmas!

£6.99

Ali’s book on how to prepare and deliver great talks.

STORYLINES

£5.99

Mike & Andy take you on a tour of the big themes of the Bible such as salvation, God’s presence, worship and kingdom.

Check out the extract on page 04!

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WHAT’S ON? We run events throughout the year and we’d love to see you again soon so take a look at some of the things we’ve got coming up…

SATURDAY CELEBRATIONS When it comes to worship, teaching and ministry we can’t get enough! So once a month we get together on a Saturday to spend some time seeking God and waiting on him. Fancy joining us? Our celebrations will take place in Watford on 4th January, 8th February, 8th March, 5th April, 17th May and 14th June.

NATURALLY SUPERNATURAL 19TH – 22ND FEBRUARY We love praying for people and seeing God move in incredible ways.

We’re longing for more of that – both in church and in our everyday lives – so this conference is all about seeing God move in power. Mike and Andy will be hosting and we’re really excited that we’ll be joined

by Robby Dawkins and Alan Scott.

YOUNG WORSHIP LEADER DAY

19TH APRIL

One for any of you who are passionate about worship – come along for a day of Biblical and practical teaching looking at how we can lead others in their worship of God. Hosted by Mike Pilavachi, Beth Croft and Sam Bailey in Watford.

SOULNET FOR YOUTH LEADERS We’ve got loads going on for all you lovely youth leaders! Head to our SoulNet web pages to find out about our retreat at the end of January, our prayer breakfasts around the country, our equipping days and more.

HOPE 2014

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The charity HOPE is preparing for a year of mission in 2014 and we’d love to get loads of you involved especially on the 3rd May 2014 for a day of social action in your local community. More info coming soon!

SUMMER 2014 We’re already making lots of plans for Soul Survivor 2014! As always our aim is to worship Jesus and to meet with him that we might be changed to be more like him. We’ll be spending loads of time worshipping God in song, looking at God’s word, and waiting on the Holy Spirit. Over the next few months we’ll be letting you know about guest speakers, worship leaders, and the topics we’ll be looking at in our seminars, so keep an eye out on Facebook and Twitter for all the latest news! Whatever else happens, we know there will be chocolate mountains…

SOUL SURVIVOR SCOTLAND

TUE 15TH - SAT 19TH JULY

For the first time ever we’re heading to Scotland! Help us spread the word and tell your mates we’ll be in Aberdeen in July.

SOUL SURVIVOR A, STAFFORD FRI 25TH – TUE 29TH JULY

SOUL SURVIVOR B, SOMERSET TUE 12TH – SAT 16TH AUGUST

SOUL SURVIVOR C, SOMERSET

SUN 17TH – THU 21ST AUGUST

SAVE MONEY! You can save money on all our summer events if you book on or before 31st January!

Prices vary between £91 and £115 so book online ASAP to get the cheapest possible place and to start your summer countdown.

EXPECTING EXAM RESULTS If you’re expecting exam results next summer you don’t have to miss out on coming to our events! See page 02 for info.

If you’re turning 18 this year you might like to pop over to www.momentum.co.uk and find out about our event for students and 20/30 somethings…

For more details on all of our events and to get yourself booked on, head to www.soulsurvivor.com

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CAN I DATE A

BY RACHEL GARDNER AND ANDRÉ ADEFOPE

NON-CHRISTIAN? If you’ve ever asked this question and got the categorical answer ‘No’, then you might well be feeling a bit hurt or defensive about this issue. After all, no one would dream of saying you shouldn’t have friends or family members who aren’t Christians.

That would be ludicrous!

For starters, dating a Christian (sadly) doesn’t ensure that the relationship is going to honour God, and dating a nonChristian doesn’t automatically mean that you are going to walk away from Jesus. But although it might not be a matter of being right or wrong, it is a matter of being wise.

The wisest way to date is to find someone who shares your core values and vision. You might love different music, debate mercilessly about which movie to watch, and never really understand why they love the outdoors so much, but when it comes to the essentials of identity (being God’s child) and destiny (living for him), you need to be on the same page.

The reality is that even the most supportive non-Christian boy/girlfriend will have their life moulded by something other than Christ. This doesn’t make them a bad person, but it might make them the wrong person for you to date.

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There’s always the potential that someone who isn’t putting God first in their life might accidentally, or purposefully, encourage you not to put God first in yours. This is why Paul encourages the Corinthian Christians to be wise about who they allow themselves to be teamed up with:

‘Don’t become partners with those who reject God. How can you make a partnership out of right and wrong? That’s not partnership; that’s war’ 2 Corinthians 6:14–18 (The Message) This tension isn’t unique to dating a nonChristian; it could refer to anything in life that encourages divided loyalties. But the message is the same: be wise in who you allow to have influence over you. We understand that you may be falling for someone who is not a Christian; it happens. It may even look like you can still be with them and serve God. But if it came to the battle between two sets of values, whose would win out?

Of course, dating Christians can present us with distractions if we allow our love for them to take the place of our love for God. Doing Christian stuff (like going to church together) isn’t the same as urging each other on in our love for God. We need to approach with caution anything that could split our focus.

IF YOU’RE CURRENTLY DATING A NON-CHRISTIAN ... ... don’t just dump them right away because they’re not a Christian! So much damage is done in God’s name when we use him as an excuse for ending a relationship badly.

But also, be careful that you don’t latch on to any evidence that says it’s OK to stay in the relationship.

Some people do date a non-Christian who then becomes a Christian. It’s always wonderful to hear these stories, but what do they prove? Someone else’s story is not yours. We’ve seen (and experienced) relationships that have suffered from people not facing up to the facts. Asking someone who isn’t putting God first in their life to accept that you are is selfish. How selfless is it to date someone who might never fully understand why God will always come first for you? You’re inevitably cutting them out of a huge part of your heart and life, and that’s before you even talk about your views on sex, marriage and raising children.

We understand how hard the idea sounds that God might not want you to date the non-Christian you’re with. So it’s natural to feel defensive.

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Watch that you don’t withdraw from your Christian friends because they might challenge you about your relationship. The bond of attachment between two people always becomes stronger when the relationship is under attack (perceived or real), so we always need to ask ourselves whether our desire to protect our relationship is giving us a false illusion of intimacy. So if you are dating a nonChristian, give yourself some space to think through these areas:

Are you able to share with your girl/boyfriend what following Jesus means to you? How do you feel about how they respond?

Have you been defensive of your relationship? Why might this have happened? Who have you been defending this relationship from?

Can you pray for your girl/boyfriend?

Are you able to pray with them?

Why or why not?

Are you able to see this relationship clearly? Is there someone you trust, who loves you both, who could help you do this?

Is this relationship healthy in God’s eyes? Who could you ask to help you explore this?

Are you still growing in your relationship with Jesus?

How might dating someone who doesn’t share your focus on God’s plan for your life and relationships help or hinder your ability to serve him?

Would you be willing to end this relationship if you felt that this wasn’t the right one for you?

Following Jesus means putting him first in your heart, so how will your boy/girlfriend who isn’t doing this feel about it?

In the end the decision of whether we date a non-Christian is about realising that we need to be wise with the decisions God allows us to make. You need to be prepared for the cost that comes with staying in this kind of relationship or saying no to one, but you can also be reassured that God is more than able to meet all of your needs. Our God keeps his promises.

He knows that our loneliness or longing for love can feel so pressing, especially when there aren’t many (or any) available Christians on the scene to date. But immersing ourselves in him is the only way to make sure that this fear doesn’t dictate our decisions.

This article is an extract from the brilliant book ‘The Dating Dilemma’ by Rachel and André. We’ve got five copies to give away, so email editor@soulsurvivor.com by 19th December for your chance to win or you can order one from our shop for £8.99. For more articles, stories and Bible studies on relationships head to relationshipdilemma.com or follow @RelationDilem on Twitter.

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WE’RE TAKING A STAND! This year at Soul Survivor we asked you to make a STAND against poverty, injustice and slavery. You amazed us with your response!

Over 9000 of you signed the STAND petition asking the government to do more to combat modern slavery.

We have delivered every one of those signatures to the Home Secretary, Theresa May, who is proposing to pass a Modern Slavery Act through parliament.

SO, WHAT ELSE CAN YOU DO? If you’ve already signed the petition how about sharing the link with your friends and family and getting them to sign too? www.soulaction.org/stand

Over a thousand youth groups picked up our free resource so they could run six sessions exploring God’s heart for justice and the issues surrounding poverty and slavery.

Could you raise money which we will give directly to projects all over the world working

You gave amazingly generously in the offerings with over £30,000 given to the work of Soul Action! A further £1500 was raised by all of you who got involved in the Soul Action Fun Run.

Can you petition your favourite businesses to ensure that their products are sold to you slave free?

to prevent poverty and help people be freed from slavery?

You can find out more about ways to get involved and about the work of Soul Action on our website: www.soulaction.org. Thank you for standing with us, for making your voice heard, for raising money, and for being part of the fight to help end poverty and slavery.

@soulactionUK

facebook.com/soulactionUK

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