Speak Woman Magazine~ June 2024 Issue

EDITOR S NOTE

Welcome to our June issue! This month, we present a collection of inspiring provoking articles that align with our mission to empower and uplift women in every aspect of their lives.

Our Cover Girl is the phenomenal Dr. Denise Knowles! She shares her journey to empower us all to become Dedicated. Unstoppable. & Elevated!

We also highlight Dawn Victory, whose powerful story of parental alienation wrenching and inspiring. Dawn's fight to regain contact with her child underscores the importance of perseverance

Thank you for being part of our global journey of empowerment! We hope this issue inspires you to pursue your own path of fulfillment and to stand strong in the face

Shanda Campbell, Editor-At-Large

Speak Woman Magazine strives to publish correct and accurate information. We do not accept liability for any inaccuracies. The views expressed in published articles are that of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of Speak Woman. Actions based on information in Speak Woman are at your own risk. Reproduction of any part of this publication without prior written consent is prohibited.

Publisher: Speak Woman Magazine, LLC

It s Never Personal

Embracing The Empowerment Shift

In life, we face challenges that test our selfworth. Whether it’s in the workplace, social circles, or personal relationships, it's easy to internalize negative feedback, rejection, or setbacks. But there’s a powerful mantra that can transform how we navigate these obstacles: “It’s never personal.” Embracing this mindset empowers us to rise above challenges with confidence and grace.

Cultivating the “It’s Never Personal” Mindset

At its core, the “it’s never personal” mindset is about recognizing that most negative experiences and interactions are not reflections of our intrinsic worth. Instead, they are often influenced by external factors such as the other person’s state of mind, external pressures, or situational contexts. By cultivating this concept, you can shift your perspective from one of self-doubt to one of empowerment.

Why Do We Take Things Personally?

Taking things personally is a human tendency stemming from our desire for acceptance, validation, and connection. When we face criticism or rejection, it can feel like a direct attack on our identity and self-worth. This emotional response is rooted several factors including:

1. Self-Perception: We often see ourselves through the lens of others’ opinions, making us vulnerable to their judgments.

2. Past Experiences: Negative past experiences can amplify our sensitivity to current situations, leading to heightened emotional reactions.

3. Fear of Rejection: The fear of being rejected can make us overly sensitive to others’ actions and words.

It s Never Personal Embracing The Empowerment Shift

The Empowering Shift

Adopting the “it’s never personal” mindset involves a conscious shift in how we interpret and respond to external events. Here’s how you can embrace this empowering perspective:

Separate Fact from Emotion: When faced with criticism or rejection, separate the factual content from the emotional impact. Analyze the situation objectively what can you learn from it? What factors are beyond your control?

2. Consider the Source: Reflect on the person delivering the criticism. Are they projecting their insecurities or frustrations?

3. Reframe the Narrative: Change the story you tell yourself. Instead of thinking, “They don’t like me,” reframe it as, “They are going through something” or “This feedback is about the work, not me.”

4. Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself. Acknowledge your feelings and remind yourself that everyone faces criticism and rejection. Your worth is not defined by others’ opinions.

5. Focus on Growth: View every challenge as an opportunity for growth. Constructive criticism can be a valuable tool for personal and professional development. Embrace the opportunity for improvement.

Embracing the mantra “it’s never personal” can be a gamechanger in how you approach challenges. It empowers us to rise above negativity, maintain our self-worth, and focus on growth. Remember, our value is intrinsic and not determined by external circumstances or opinions. By internalizing this mindset, we can navigate life’s ups and downs with confidence and grace, leading to a more fulfilling life.

Activity Vs. Progress

Avoiding The Busy Trap

In today’s culture we often equate busyness with productivity and success, but is it possible that we're confusing mere activity with meaningful progress? How can we understand the difference between the two and learn how to avoid the busy trap?

The Illusion of Busyness

Busyness can often create an illusion of productivity. Our calendars are full, our to-do lists are long, and we feel a sense of accomplishment in crossing off tasks. However, busyness doesn't always mean progress. It's possible to spend an entire day being busy without moving closer to our goals. Think about a day filled with back-to-back meetings. While the day was undoubtedly busy, did those meetings bring you closer to achieving your key objectives, or were they just routine activities that filled your time? Are we having meetings to discuss meetings to schedule the next meeting?

Clearly Defining Progress

Progress, on the other hand, is about moving forward towards a specific goal or completing a significant milestone. It's tangible outcomes and results of our efforts. Progress is meaningful and aligns with our larger purpose and objectives.

If your goal is to write a book, progress may look like drafting a chapter, outlining key sections, or conducting research. These activities are directly related to achieving your end goal.

Identifying the Busy Trap

To avoid falling into the busy trap, it’s crucial to identify what is merely keeping us occupied versus activities that are driving us forward. Here are some signs that you might be caught in the busy trap:

1. Constantly Multitasking: Juggling multiple tasks at once can make us feel productive, but it often leads to scattered efforts and reduced efficiency.

2. Lack of Clear Priorities: Without clear priorities, we end up working on low-impact tasks that don’t contribute to our main goals.

3. Feeling Overwhelmed: If you’re always feeling overwhelmed and stressed, it might be because you’re focused on being busy rather than being productive.

4. Little to No Progress: Despite being busy, if you’re not seeing significant progress towards your goals, it’s a clear indicator that you ’re stuck in the busy trap.

Here are strategies to Ensure Progress

1. Prioritize Tasks: Focus on high-impact tasks that align with your goals. Categorize tasks by urgency and importance.

2. Limit Multitasking: Single tasking leads to higher quality work and faster completion times.

3. Regularly Review Progress: Assess what’s working and what isn’t and adjust your approach as needed.

4. Delegate and Outsource: Delegate tasks that don’t require your unique skills and outsource when necessary.

*Remember, it’s not about how busy we are, but how effectively we’re moving towards our desired outcomes.

“I thank God for allowing me to use my voice, my story, my pain, and my victory to inspire others facing similar giants.”

Author Dawn Victory from Suffolk, VA, is a resilient mother of two, courageously facing giants and injustice. Her journey of healing began with the profound grief of losing custody of her daughter. Feeling hopeless and overwhelmed, Dawn decided to publicly share her story, channeling her emotions into her first novel, "My Dysfunctional Life." Her mission is clear: to bring restoration to those suffering from depression, mental health issues, injustices, and parental alienation. She wants everyone to know that giving up is never an option, and that we must fight for what we believe in. Dawn encourages us to trust in God, stay prayed up, and never let our stories go in vain. She proclaims that God will make a way for us if we dare to have faith and never count ourselves out.

Dawn passionately believes in being the change we want to see in the world. "When people support each other, incredible things happen," she says.

DAWN VICTORY

Shares Her Journey To Fight Against Injustice & Parental Alienation

*The views and claims expressed in this feature are presented as allegations and do not reflect the opinions, beliefs, or endorsements of Speak Woman Magazine. Readers are encouraged to independently verify any statements or claims made.

HER STORY: “After spending thousands of dollars on legal fees and dealing with conflict-of-interest attorneys, I was alienated from my 8-year-old daughter. I felt heartbroken. At times, I thought about ending my life due to the trauma I experienced from the Suffolk, Virginia Juvenile & Domestic Relations court. The court allowed an innocent woman to suffer and go two long years without her child, who was taken by her narcissistic father. I must live the rest of my life reliving this nightmare because there's no justice for my pain and suffering. I witnessed the law caring more about protecting a lie and using my child as a pawn than caring about her best interests.

When I think of how the courts allowed defamation, perjury, and obstruction of justice, and how the father got away with forcing my child’s signature on a fabricated protective order that kept her from me for two years, I cried many days and nights. I blame myself for trusting the law. My case was familiar; I practically raised my child in court. We’d been there over 18 times with (3) different Guardian Ad Litems. The first two saw no evidence to support the father’s false claims nor did they believe my daughter should be removed from my home.

Before the law divide my family, I was a happy mother of two. My oldest son, a 16-year-old honor student whom I had at the age of 14, had never experienced any accusations of abuse, CPS cases, or criminal charges. Yet, somehow the courts gave my daughter to a known womanizer and manipulator with a criminal record who lied about being disabled. My

daughter's father is twenty years older than I am and calls himself a pastor. His wife, unable to conceive, was desperate for a child of her own. They did whatever it took to steal my baby girl.

I’ve been documenting what happened to my family. Brainwashing is real, and so is parental alienation. It's ridiculous for a parent who loves and wants a healthy relationship with their children to have to fight so hard to be a part of their lives. I never thought this would happen to me, but it did. I’ ve watched my baby girl turn into a different child. She was forced to disrespect me, calling me by my name and telling me to have another baby and name it after her. Every time I saw my daughter, she would be dressed identically to her stepmother. They controlled what she wore and wouldn ’t allow her to wear anything appropriate for her age. My child was struggling with her own identity, and the law knew it but didn't care. We were seeking counseling, but the father interfered. It seems like he is invincible and only God can stop him.

I continued to cry out for help and started sharing my story on social media. When the father found out, he took me to court, filing a gag order against me. The judge told me not to go to social media because they couldn’t help me, violating my constitutional rights. In August 2022, we had court with an African-American judge who reviewed my file and saw no reason why I had no contact with my child. She reinstated my visitation rights, and because of her, I have been able to see my daughter every other weekend for the last year, heading into our second year.

Dedicated. Unstoppable. Elevated.

From a young age, Denise's involvement in sports, influenced by her older brothers, taught her inner strength, leadership, and teamwork. These lessons have shaped her approach to working with others throughout her life.

In 2014, after much self-reflection and life experiences, Denise embraced her calling to become a life coach. She launched her brand as the "DUE Over Coach," which stands for Dedicated Unstoppable Elevation. She uses her experiences, natural love for people, and storytelling abilities to assist others in their personal and business journeys. Her expertise in life, love, relationships, parenting, and business shines through in every coaching session, workshop, retreat, and event she participates in.

Denise is known for her love of roller skating, a passion that began at the age of three. This hobby brought her and her husband of 18 years together. Her involvement in the skating community has connected her to people from all walks of life; participating in the homecoming parade of Tennessee State University for over 18 years as part of a collaborative group of skaters.

At Street Works, a non-profit organization, she has served as an Early Intervention Specialist, medical case manager, and Outreach Coordinator. Her dedication to helping the overlooked and underserved is evident in her work, especially in addressing the stigmas associated with HIV and opioid misuse disorder.

Denise is a passionate speaker and published author of "Love Roll Lifetime" and co-author of "The Evolution of Skating Vol. 3." She has also served as an assistant coach for the Music City Jazz Semi-Pro Men's Basketball Team and currently holds the same position for the Nashville Aces, who had an impressive first season.

Dr. Denise's pathway as a certified life coach has allowed her to assist people from various walks of life, including women of the Music City Icons semi-pro women's basketball team, families, and those experiencing significant life changes. Known to many as the DUE Over Coach, she is Dedicated Unstoppable Elevation. To her friends and family, she is simply Denise.

Dr. Denise Knowles

Dr. Denise of Nashville, TN, is a wife, mother, grandmother, speaker, and life coach. Her deep love for her family and a solid spiritual foundation fuel her commitment to making a positive impact. Her journey is marked by a strong belief in the power of giving and a passion for helping others.

How She Became The D.U.E. Over Coach

How do you balance your love for family and professional roles as a coach and advocate?

Keeping a schedule is super important to keeping everything running smoothly. As a single mother for a long time, I had to juggle multiple responsibilities. Now, my husband plays a really important role in helping me keep everything balanced.

What’s the motivation behind

your

brand “DUE Over Coach”?

I believe the title was given to me by inspiration. I had to dig into it to grasp its true meaning. I strongly believe that timing is crucial in life. "DUE" symbolizes the perfect timing to bring something new into the world; a new version of yourself, a new project, or new relationships. "Unstoppable Elevation" is all about becoming the best version of yourself without being held back by work, people, or any other limitations that life throws at you. We should all know that we are limitless.

What motivates your dedication to the underserved?

My motivation comes from my own experiences. Like many others, I faced tough circumstances growing up. I was raised in a single-parent household and surrounded by challenges that made life seem bleak. When I moved to Nashville, I met an incredible woman named Sharon Hurt. She did something for me that no one else had – she believed in me. She saw potential in me that I didn't even know existed. She gave me my first professional job and patiently taught me everything I was willing to learn, no matter how difficult. Mrs. Hurt pushed me to use my mind in ways others hadn't, and she never gave up on me, which in turn, motivated me to never give up on myself. This ignited a desire in me to help others, stemming from my own experiences of feeling isolated and misunderstood. I don't see this as just a passion, but as a fundamental part of my life's purpose.

Where can your books be purchased?

My book can be purchased by messaging me on FB: DUE Over Coach Denise or on Amazon "Love Roll Lifetime". Stay tuned, I have some projects coming soon.

What are some similarities between coaching sports & personal development?

That is a question I’m asked often. Especially being a woman of color coaching semi-pro men's basketball. A few connections are conflict resolution, teamwork, and taking responsibility for oneself. All of these go on in life and at times we need help with them.

What

advice

would

you give

on becoming Dedicated, Unstoppable, & Elevated?

My coaching advice is straighforward: prioritize yourself first. Many struggle with this. We're taught to prioritize everything and everyone else before ourselves. However, continuing in this manner will only diminishe the quality of life for ourselves and others. To be the best for anything or anyone else, you must prioritize what's best for yourself first. It's not just about knowing what's best for us, but actively pursuing it.

SWM