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Self-forgiveness for Overwhelm ing Experiences
Self-Forgiveness for Overwhelming Experiences
By Bruce Dickson
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The word "trauma" is an abstraction. The acronym "PTSD" is an abstraction. What is actually present? Overwhelming experiences. Overwhelming experiences come in only two "flavors." Sometimes an overwhelming experience has both flavors. To clearly conceive this, we're going to need the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model of the waking adult psyche, so let's review it. In the human experience, our adult psyche is primarily two-fold. We have a Self which is not an internal part. We have multiple internal parts, who are not the Self. Self is our capacity for calm, curiosity, compassion (and the rest of the Eight Cs). Our internal parts, are our Minions, all the memories, habits and behaviors inside us, learned and formed thru repetition. There are at least a few thousand of them in the Habit Body of every adult. Many of our learned habits are working for us: how we talk, how we work and serve, 95% of our responses to life in the human experience. In a well adult, your Self is leading your system more of the time. Your hyper-reactive, disturbed Minions are leading only when you are taken by surprise or stressed.
Because your Self is singular and your internal parts are multiple, if Self is weak (fuzzy values, fuzzy goals, fuzzy morals-ethics, Sheeple follower of consumerism), highly energized (highly reactive, traumatized) internal parts can take over leadership from Self. "Hijack" is a good word here. In a mentally ill or highly disturbed person, the leadership of their inner system is more or less permanently taken over by their reactive, internal parts. Self is no longer leading; Self is unable to lead. This brings us to how to educate and exercise our Self? As Self is educated and exercises its capacity for the Eights Cs--via IFS or by another method--it becomes stronger, its habits of Self-leadership become stronger. Allowing our Minions to hijack leadership from Self become weaker. A useful image exists for this.
Self as King or Queen sitting on a throne
An image of the Angelic Plan for the healthy adult psyche is a King or Queen sitting on his or her own throne in your throne-room, the court of Self. If one or more Minions hijack leadership from Self, this is dysfunctional and hopefully only temporary. The more often Self is overthrown, the more Self is in need of education and exercise of its Self-leadership habits. Google now has 24,000 pages for the search: "Self-leadership"...so easy to learn more about this. Back to overwhelm and how to forgive it.
Two categories of overwhelming experiences
One is overwhelming sensory experiences, feeling (kinesthetic), auditory, tasting, smelling, visual. The other category is overwhelming experiences of shame, guilt, fear and over-responsibility. Notice the first category is more child-like, more inner child. This because gut brain is more this way. Notice the second category is more mentalemotional. This is because head brain is more this way.
Are you head-brain or gut-brain dominant?
Everyone is more habituated to using one brain or the other to respond to daily human experience. Each category of overwhelm is characteristic of one of our two brains. Adding this distinction allows us to get more precise about the vague abstractions of "trauma" and "PTSD." In yourself, or in a client, either the unresolved disturbance is: a) Overwhelming sensory experiences, feeling (kinesthetic), auditory, tasting, smelling, visual. This is characteristic of the gut-brain. This is also the only brain we have going until puberty completes.
b) Overwhelming experiences of shame, guilt, fear and over-responsibility. This is characteristic of the head-brain. This is the primary brain going if you are an adult leader of your family, your tribe, your colony, your company, your nation, etc. Once we know which trauma is the priority for our self or for our client, sooner or later we can move to forgiveness. I forgive myself for allowing my internal parts, overwhelmed by what I was feeling (hearing, tasting, smelling, seeing), to take over-the first time I allowed my overwhelmed internal parts to take over, the second time I allowed this, the third time... 4, 5, 6, (keep counting until energy stops moving). I forgive myself for allowing overwhelming experience of shame, guilt, fear and overresponsibility, the first time I allowed my overwhelmed internal parts to take over, I forgive myself for allowing my internal parts, overwhelmed by feeling shame, guilt and overresponsibility, to take over-the first time I allowed my overwhelmed internal parts to take over, the second time, the third time... 4, 5, 6, (keep counting until energy stops moving). Of the above two patterns, which pattern is dethroning Self in you? Q: What if I have both going on? A: Then modify your forgiveness formula to work better for you. The above can be used for either category of overwhelming experiences.
Acid~alkaline aspect of trauma
There may be psychosomatic aspects of pH, over-acid and over alkaline in our body. For $9.70 and free shipping on Ebay you can get litmus-hydrion paper for testing your urine and saliva. Make sure you get the correct range: 4.5 - 7.5 or very similar numbers. Don't buy paper with another scale of measurement A preliminary speculation is people who test over-acid tend to be people whose awareness is too much in the past and the future: worry. This includes people stuck in past trauma and PTSD. Worry, tendency to be stuck in the past and the future, is characteristic of head-brain dominant persons. We speculate the complementary pattern in over-alkaline persons is their awareness is too stuck in the present moment, the here and now. This includes people likely to procrastinate on taking action of their current obligations, responsibilities and personal goals.
