Overstrand Splash Magazine - October 2022

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Every cloud...

And just when we think we have reached the absolute low point in our beloved country, another scandal explodes; usually involving billions stolen from the poor and in my case the middleclass, otherwise knows as the Currently Disadvantaged.

Nice negative intro. Which means I have your attention because we thrive on bad news. But regretfully, I must inform you that I don’t buy into the negative energy the pessimists are exuding. I have a ridiculously black sense of humour, which sometimes offends but hey, it gets me through the day.

For my sins, I’m on my way to Johannesburg. For work, obviously. No one goes there for a holiday. (I warned you that I’m going to offend someone). Comair has just gone out of business. Therefore, I’m on a fully packed plane with grumpy passengers. (When I was checking in, I noticed that SAA was open for business. Well, there were ground staff wearing uniforms. I have no idea if there are any airborne planes. An airline without planes? No, not impossible at all. Transnet have virtually no functioning trains, the Post Office should take ‘Post’ out of their title, the Government should remove ‘govern’... I digress. Back on the plane. First time I’ve flown on LIFT. They give you free coffee! I like them already. About half an hour into the flight with most passengers dozing off, a young woman four rows ahead of me jumps up and comes charging down the aisle... Toilet emergency, I suppose. But a second later she’s followed by the passenger next to her. In a flash an air hostess comes past with an oxygen tank. An announcement follows: ‘If there’s a doctor on board...” Oh my word I’m in a ‘Disaster on flight 209’ movie’.

But here’s the thing. There was a doctor on board as well as two nurses and a Paramedic and they immediately responded. Another announcement: ‘If anyone has an asthma pump... ‘The woman in front of me jumps up and searches her hand luggage. An elderly tannie comes rushing from the front, at least five asthma pumps are offered. No one expected them back. No one expected to be paid...They just did what humans do. When a fellow human being is in trouble, we help.

We landed in JHB and surprisingly, everyone I came across in the City of Gold was pleasant, friendly even. Or maybe I had just changed my attitude. My faith in mankind restored.

Change your mind, and your life will change.

There is always a silver lining, you only have to look for it.

A very clever person said this. No, not me.

But I do have some sage life lessons, I’d like to share with you.

1. If you haven’t joined the Gym by today, you never will. So what, I say.

2. A cat will always land on its feet. A peanut butter slice of bread will land on its face.

3. You will never see that inheritance that was promised by Mr. Smith via Sms.

4. If you answer the phone and the caller says: How are you? You are in trouble.

5. Never ask your husband’s opinion about your outfit. He has been trained to lie. (By you, sweetheart.)

6. No matter how high the cost of living, there’s always money for alcohol/fudge. (Pick your poison.)

7. Women can’t survive in ugly surroundings. Which is one of the reasons why my shop, Amulet still exists.

8. Don’t start a conversation about vaccines. Nobody wins that argument.

9. Predictive text may think it’s smarter than humans, but it’s nothingham.

10. A man will only walk a mile for one thing. The TV Remote

I leave you with this true story.

I recently opened a TikTok account. (No, that is a totally different story)

As with all social media, there will be scammers out there. And in my case, it’s usually a drop-dead gorgeous man. (According to his photograph).

So Davidvin71 sends me a private message: ‘Witam.’ (WTF? is my (inner) response).

I go check out his profile and everything seems legit. Next day from Davidvin71:

Cześć piekna. (Is he asking me to go to a picnic?)

Two days pass. Dlaczego milczy kochanie?

This sounds way too interesting to ignore. Google Translate solves the mystery.

David is asking me: Why so quiet, baby? Because I don’t speak your language, meneer.

Within a heartbeat comes the response: How are you? (Please refer to life lesson no 4.)

I’m interested in seeing when he’s going to ask me for money, so I humor him. The conversation continues over the next couple of days. He tells me about his only son. I’m expecting to hear about the lifethreatening disease and the expensive operation that will be able to save David Junior’s life.

Instead, he asks me where I’m from. Ah, I get it, he’s going to claim that he needs money to fly out to come and visit. I’m from South Africa. No response.

Days pass, not a word from Davidvin71. I’m never going to hear from him again.

Clearly the Rand is so worthless, we are not worth scamming anymore.

A silver lining, I suppose.

SCAN to visit our online store.

Hélène Truter

028

1669

WEB: www. estelleventer.co.za

Jak oor KUNS

Ek was nooit ‘n wintersmens nie. Selfs wanneer die herfstyd sy opwagting maak het ek ‘n beklemming om my hart begin kry. So effens droewig. Ek het opgesien na ‘n tyd van koue oggende en vroeë donker aande en die vaal vlaktes van die Hoëveld. Ek wou soos sekere diere hiberneer en eers weer my gesig wys as die lente kom. Jaar na jaar het ek die winter trotseer met baie sad songs in my pen.

En toe trek ons Kaap toe. Somerset-Wes. Wat ‘n verandering! ‘n Ontploffing van kleure. Die herfs was niks mooier as die mooiste skildery wat jy ooit sal aanskou nie. Die son wat bly hang oor Valsbaai in Meimaand. Die goue ure op die strand. Die blare wat in rooi en geel verander. Die eekhorings wat hul kieste vol stop. Die wolke wat kom en gaan.

Ek was nog nooit so gelukkig en in my vel soos in die herfs en winter in die Kaap nie. Hier waar ek sit en skryf, sit ek langs ‘n kaggelvuur wat ek al vroeg aangesteek het. Buitekant is die weer dramaties, maar ek geniet dit. Die kleure in die bome en berge en die see, het my weereens laat besef hoe uiters belangrike rol “kleur” in my lewe speel. Dit affekteer my algehele bestaan. Dit maak my gelukkig, dit sit my in ‘n “mood”. Die sad songs kry betekenis en die rooiwyn help met die droewigheid. Ek geniet my emosies.

Ek het ook vinnig geleer dat dit nie net die omgewing in die Kaap is wat so kleurvol is nie, maar ook die mense. Die Afrikaans wat hier gepraat word is ryk aan kultuur en stories. Ek het die afgelope twee jaar van die kleurvolste mense ontmoet. “Wat geniet jy die meeste om in die Kaap te woon?” kry ek gereeld die vraag uit alle oorde uit. “Dis die kuns oral waar ek kyk” is my antwoord.

Daar is ‘n onuitputbare bron van inspirasie. In die natuur, maar ook die ongelooflike hoeveelheid kunstenaars wat hierheen gelok word. Oral waar ek gaan is kuns. Wanneer ek in Kaapstad rondbeweeg, word my asem weggeslaan deur van die mooiste tonele op geboue, brue, treinstasies en mure. “Wall Art”

Dit gee lewe aan ‘n stad. Dit vertel stories. Elke keer wanneer ek en my vrou by die Strand se prominade gaan stap verkyk ek my aan die beelde van Lionel Smit met die oseaan in die agtergrond.

Wanneer ek wynplase besoek, aanskou ek beelde en werke van ongelooflike kunstenaars soos Janko de Beer en ek sien vrouens langs die paaie wat mandjies vleg. By die Waterfront speel tradisionele musikante op dromme en tamboryne en in Stellenbosch speel rockgroepe tot in die oggendure en praat die taal van die student.

In Macassar langs Somerset-Wes gaan besoek ek ‘n pottery fabriek wat vir my borde en koppies maak. Ek is al bevriend met die kunstenaars wat elke dag hul lewens wy aan die perfekte potte en borde. In die straat af gaan besoek ek vir Lucinda wat vir my oorspronklike klere maak. Sy is ongelooflik. Daar in haar eenvoud in Macassar ontwerp ek en sy vir my klere wat anders lyk as die res van die wêreld. So kan ek aanhou.

Ek ontmoet ‘n ruk gelede vir Liesl Rheerders. ‘n Kunskenner en Art influencer. Sy is eksentriek en spontaan. Haar blou oë vertel stories en sy leer mense van kuns op haar @lieslcreates Instagram account. Op ‘n dag reël sy vir my ‘n intieme konsert by haar huis en vra of ek van my kunswerke sal kom uitstal.

“My kunswerke?” vra ek. “Ja!” “Joune”

“Jy werk dan met meesters soos Hennie Niemand en Anton Smit.” Vra ek verbaas.

En toe sê sy vir my iets wat my lewe verander het.

Sy sê: “Ek is regtig happy! En ek is happy, want ek het kuns in my lewe! ...en ek het kuns in my lewe want ek wil happy wees!” “Alle kuns is anders. Party kunstenaars teken so goed, dat jy nie ‘n foto van die werklikheid kan onderskei nie en ander teken klein, en ander groot… Party hou van kleur en ander wit en swart… Party maak beelde en ander keramiek… party maak iets uit draad en ander uit sement… party uit materiaal en soms is die gekrap van ‘n kind met vetkryt so beeldskoon.” “Solank dit jou happy maak!”

“Joú kuns…Jak De Priester! Lê in jou persoonlikheid… kleurvol” ‘En dit maak my happy!”

Na die intieme konsert het ek terug gery huistoe. Ek het ‘n kunswerk verkoop aan iemand wat so opgewonde was. En ek het besef.

God het kunstenaars op hierdie aarde gesit om mense happy te maak…. En God het geweet…. sonder , gaan dit nie moontlik wees nie!

Jak de Priester

timberlog@telkomsa.net

timberlog@telkomsa.net

THE

THE SALTY, THE SOUR…. AND THE BITTERS!

A platter of perhaps profound and profane pontifications, pompous pretentions and potent platitudes, for the princes and the proles, from lawyers and about lawyers!

Adrian Louw‘’Why, may that not be the skull of a lawyer! Where be hisquiddities now, his quillities, hiscases, his tenures, and his tricks? [WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE, Hamlet to Horatio]

SAVOURIES….

‘‘Bad laws are the worst sort of tyranny’’. [EDMUND BURKE, Speech at Bristol, 1780]

‘’People crushed by law have no hopes but from power. If laws are their enemies, they will be the enemies to laws; and those, who have much to hope to nothing to lose, will always be dangerous, more or less’’. [EDMUND BURKE, letter to Hon. CJ Fox, 8 October 1777]

‘’ The rule of law does not guarantee freedom since general laws as well as personal edicts can be tyrannical. But increasing reliance on the rule of law clearly played a major role in transforming Western society from a world in which the ordinary citizen was literally subject to the arbitrary will of his master to a world in which the ordinary citizen could regard himself as his own Master. [MILTON FRIEDMAN, Morality and Controls, New York Times, October 28, 1971]

‘’The Law is the last result of human wisdom acting upon human experience for the benefit of the public. [SAMUEL JOHNSON ‘’Sir’’ said Dr Johnson; arranged by if HC Biron]

‘’Man is free if he needs to obey no person but solely the laws.’’ [IMMANUEL KANT]

‘’Let us consider the reason of the case. For nothing is law that is not reason’’. [SIR JOHN POWELL, Coggs v. Bernard, 2 Lord Raymond, 911]

‘’Men are not hanged for stealing horses, but that horses may not be stolen’’. [GEORGE SAVILE, MARQUIS OF HALIFAX, Political Thoughts and Reflections: Of Punishment)

‘’Poverty sets a reduced price on crime’’ [CHAMFORT]

A PINT OF BITTER.

‘’Law is born from despair of human nature’’. [ORTEGA Y GASSET ]

‘’The law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich as well as the poor to sleep under bridges’’. [FRANCE]

‘’If the laws could speak for themselves, they would complain of the lawyers in the first place. [GEORGE SAVILLE, MARQUIS OF HALIFAX]

‘Laws are generally not understood by three sorts of persons, viz. by those that make them, by those that execute them, and by those that suffer if they break them’. [GEORGE SAVILLE, MARQUIS OF HALIFAX]

‘’A revolt of the judiciary is more dangerous to a government that any other, even a military revolt. Now and then it uses the military to suppress disorder, but it defends itself every day by means of the courts’’. [TOQUEVILLE]

SOURS…

‘One law for the ox and the ass is oppression’’. [BLAKE]

‘‘It is criminal to steal a purse, daring to steal a fortune, a mark of greatness to steal a crown. The blame diminishes as the guilt increases’’. SCHILLER]

‘’If there were no bad people there would be no good lawyers’’. [DICKENS]

‘’ Law cannot persuade where it cannot punish’’. [THOMAS FULLER]

AND NOW FOR THE DESSERT TROLLEY….

It is illegal to make liquor privately or water publicly [LORD BIRCKETT]

‘’…. All in all I would rather have been a judge than a miner. And what is more, being a miner, as soon as you are too old and tired and sick and stupid to do the job properly, you have to go. Well, the very opposite applies with the judges’’ [PETER COOK, 1960s]

‘’DEFENDANT: I don’t recognise this court! JUDGE: Why not?

’DEFENDANT: You’ve had it decorated!’’ [MORCAMBE AND WISE, 1979]

‘’No brilliance is needed in the law, only commons sense and relatively clean finger nails.’’ [JOHN MORTIMER]

‘’For certain people after 50, litigation takes the place of sex’’ [GORE VIDAL, 1981]

A LITTLE LIGHT LATIN LIQUER…. UBI REM MEAM INVENIO IBI VINDICO. ‘’Where I find my property, there I may recover it. ‘’ Example, if B steals the car of A and then sells it to the unwitting C, A can approach the court for a REI VINDICATIO, a vindicatory action, which, very quickly will enable him with the aid of the police, to seize his car back. C has only an action against the thief, who has probably vanished. Lesson? Don’t buy anything ‘’too good to be true’’ and without proof of ownership from the seller.

Compiled by Adrian Louw.

SOURCES; BACHMAN BOOK OF FREEDOM QUOTATIONS, THE FABER BOOK OF APHORISMS, ARDEN BOOK OF SHAKESPEARE QUOTATIONS AND PENGUIN DICTIONARY OF MODERN HUMOROUS QUOTATIONS.

ADRIAN LOUW, local attorney was formerly a diplomat and Assistant Director at the then Department of Foreign Affairs.

Come and celebrate our first birthday at Onrus Liquors

Onrus Trading Post Main Road Onrusrivier

Tel

"DOP EN TJOP"

Salted caramel espresso martini

If you’re a lover of espresso martinis and have a sweet tooth, this salted caramel twist is the perfect way to start, or cap off any evening.

INGREDIENTS

1 tbs caramel

50ml espresso, cooled 50ml coffee liqueur (we used Kahlua) 100ml vodka

METHOD

Place caramel, espresso and a pinch of salt flakes in a cocktail shaker and stir until caramel has dissolved. Add coffee liqueur and vodka, top with ice and shake until combined and frothy.

Strain mixture and divide between two chilled martini glasses and top with finely grated chocolate, to serve.

Gochujang-glazed skirt steak

INGREDIENTS

2 garlic cloves, finely grated 1 tbs grated ginger

1 tbs peanut or sunflower oil

2 1/2 tbs gochujang

2 tsp brown or raw sugar

1kg skirt steak, trimmed 1 butter lettuce, leaves separated

METHOD

Preheat a barbecue or chargrill pan to high.

To make glaze, com bine garlic, ginger, oil, gochujang and sugar in a bowl. Season and brush over steak, then cook for 3 minutes each side for medium-rare or until cooked to your liking. Rest, loosely covered with foil, for 5 minutes. Thinly slice. Serve steak in lettuce cups with chilli, coriander and spring onion. Drizzle over steak resting juices and squeeze with lime.

Onrus, the perfect family holiday destination!

Milkwood forests, the campsite bustling with holiday makers pitching tents, mouthwatering smells of lamb chops on a braai, the chatter of children walking back from the beach, sunburnt and sandy. These are images that spring to mind when I think of the enchanted seaside hamlet.

I am not sure many people even realise what Onrus once was to many famous South Africans in the last century. To them it was also a family holiday destination, a respite from the hub of the city or a haven to meet like minded artists and creative minds.

The likes of famous writers, poets and artists such as Gregoire Boonzaire, Jan Rabie, Majorie Walace, Audrey Fourie, Uys and Francois Krige even a handful of political personalities like Beyers Naude and Joel Krige to mention a few.

These people once walked the same road to the beach, filled their rusty cars at the local pump station, had accounts at the local café, picked their supper off the rocks and shared bottles of wine in humble homes that were sparsely scattered around the little hamlet of those days.

The simplicity of the lifestyle and the rawness of living so close to nature I suppose is what attracted these folk and I like to think still attracts people today.

I’m known to be resistant to change and anti “progress” but its for a fear of losing what I feel makes Onrus the special place that it is.

If one could only stop the clock – how wonderful it would be. We need to preserve the magic that makes Onrus unique.

I was very fortunate to grow up in Onrus myself and had the privilege of knowing many of these characters. As a child I had no idea who they were or might have been, they were just quirky old folk who we regularly shared a meal with or who joined us for picnics on the rocks and Sunday drives to outlying villages.

The thing that stands out most about all of them was the simplicity of how they chose to live. Their homes all humbly allocated with items that clearly meant something to them whether it was walls of old books, collections of bones, canvases of oil paintings, gardens full of sea shells… each home was a like a treasure chest for a young child with an imagination.

Another thing they all had in common was each one had endless stories to tell of their previous lives and adventures as youngsters.

I remember sitting on sandy, often scruffy kelims trying to picture these sun kissed, leathery faced old people as they talked of days in Paris, parties and their school days in far away places I’d never heard of.

The art of story telling is such a precious thing and sadly with the invent of modern devices the children of today have lost the desire to play outside in open spaces, picking wild flowers, catching tadpoles and falling out of trees as they build treehouses.

The best lessons are learnt from listening to wise old family members around a fire, who’ve made all the mistakes themselves and were surprisingly naughtier than we could ever have imagined. I often left these homes with new found respect and admiration after hearing how brave and adventurous they had been.

Never underestimate the power of story telling.

And so we are delighted be a part of the Kalfiefees this year as a venue to help promote the arts through drama, theatre and song. We need to preserve our cultural history and not lose sight of the simple things in life. If lockdown has taught us anything it is to slow down, simplify and enjoy the company of our family

Braelea Pope

PAARL

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