US Magazine - Spring 2023

Earth’s Nebulae, Zhenye “Stephen’ Feng ‘23

I wish to care less.

Like a state of liberosis with my own obscure sorrow, I wish to see my problems as what they are.

The cosmos and swirling universes do not care for my strife, They are not inconvenienced by my disharmony. There is only me in this vast diminutive world.

Yet my problems are the concern of the universe as I shout them to the sky, Using space as my mirror of escaped realities––splintered and warped.

For as much as the universe ignores my cries, They shall also ignore my triumph.

The cosmos do not know my pain, nor do they care, But they also do not know my appreciation.

What it is to live.

Maybe I do not wish to care less, For there is beauty in being infinitesimal.

Sydney Green

Aluminum Stars and Polyethylene Girls

the Glitter fell on the - floor as i kicked the bottle with my sockless foot and i Twirled . in her bed Waiting for- the summer dresses , and - Sunset Kisses Waiting for her to come . Back and hug me like a - Cosmic Star hugs the galaxy And take me places I never thought .existed In this - mortal world I created.

Ilan Schimelmitz

“What If I suddenly disappear?”

Even in the silence of the night, I would recognize you by your light, Even in a different universe, far away, Where the sun rises at the end of day, Even in different bodies, Different forms, Through space and time, through life’s deadly storm.

Kegan Mcgonigle

Little me.

The dark was scary,

Until it became comfort, the only place I could be myself .

Being alone was frightening,

Until it became the only moment where I didn’t need anyone else’s acceptance.

The little girl terrified of being in a dark room grew up.

Grew up to feel like she has to hide.

Hide from eye’s that wouldn’t approve, hide from the judgment that could bring her down.

Hide from the expectations others have of her, hide from the fear of not meeting them.

Hide from a success you don’t want, hide from failure.

Hide to be whoever you wanna be, hide to be free.

But freedom cannot be in a dark room. The freedom we aim for is in the stars, in the moon and in the sun.

It’s in the sky and it’s in people. It’s in the streets of a crowded city and in the pages of a book we never want to put down.

And she deserves that, the little girl. She deserves the freedom of light. She deserves to shine with those stars she loves so much. To be the brightest one in the night sky. She deserves to be seen, to be accepted.

So for her, I get out of the dark and I push forward in a light that is so blinding that it makes my eyes tear up. In a light that takes away my comfort and makes me feel vulnerable, exposed to those eyes I fear so much. For her I rise from that fear and step into the light. For her I’ll be that strong and for that light I’ll fight.

Emma Arca

The Letter

I felt like writing a letter, something that felt meaningful, because I can’t get you out of my head.

I love how much you make me smile, how I don’t have to pretend to be anyone else when I’m with you, because me being my funny, weird, little self somehow creates a beautiful smile on your face. You make everything feel magical, like I’m the luckiest girl in the world. And I like to think that I am, because I have you, and that’s pretty special.

When I see you, I see Home. I look into your eyes and get lost in your sparkle. You make me feel safe.

You make me feel like I matter.

There’s no one else that makes me feel this way. Nothing scares me more than the thought of losing you.

So, I guess this is my way of saying not to let me go because I can assure you with my whole heart that I am never letting go for life.

It’s my promise.

Ava Bowman

Vision

She has always told me I’m bound for something great

Destined for something beyond the stars

Recently, I’ve been confused about what she sees destined

Because if she were to really look at me

What she would see is my endless insecurities

That has always managed to take control of thee…

I wish I could see,

So I can believe the things she's telling me

Because if I'm bound for something great

Why is my glass half full but already ready to break

Why do I feel my every move is a mistake

Like God had picked me up, forgot me, and now I’m misplaced

But to her

I'm that gift that keeps on giving

The gravitational pull that keeps her world spinning

That spare light when everything else is dimming

I can’t tell

Did she take my picture and reverse it

Because I see myself and struggle to find the purpose

But yet she looked at me and saw something other than worthless

And what she saw I wish I could convert it

So I too could see

For she can see, who I am

Kegan Mcgonigle

Butterflies

We look at each other

I surpass you

Flying around in the beauty of the outdoor world

Colors of green and yellow dangle above you

Colors of green and yellow dangle blow me

We match up imperfectly

Our yellows and oranges

Intertwined with our black background

Our tiny legs kissing the bottoms of each other

We are a copy of each other

My twin flame

The orange fires our bodies

The purple in the leaves calm us

Green, light green, dark green

The swirls of the wood

The branches extending

This is placed on a king card

This king card holds power

It defeats everyone else

Our beautiful wings give beauty to the world

They look at us and can't hurt us

We are the king card

We hold protection

Beauty and power

We look alike

We soar below each other

I surpass you but you fly high above

My twin flame of beauty

Talya Traub-Cooper

King Card, K’Tonya Johnson ‘23

Man & Street Light, Zhenye “Stephen’ Feng

In Night There Is Light

Nighttime has fallen upon the park

The long black pole is met with a shiny bulb on the sidewalk Sitting under this light in serenity Brings questions

What separates us in this world

The black pole and the light met together creating power

What is a functioning society?

We search rapidly through our brains to find words to create meaningful conversations

Words can not flow out of our mouth when you're met with disturbance

What do you say to a person you will never see again?

What is the last thing you can express to someone who will never share the same light as you?

The light shines so bright we are almost blinded by what is to come when morning awakens

How can we be under this light in the dark night?

How do we know if this light is our flame?

What happens when it turns off because morning has come and we have been burnt out? I look for the words, I look for the conversion

My eyes begin to water, is it because of the light, is the light feeding my emotions?

I glance over, their eyes waters

Is this water that drips to the floor what is to separate us?

Does this light slowly melt us away until there is a sea of tears and a dark sky?

Is this light our last conversation?

Nothing comes out

I lay quiet

Looking at the light

Talya Traub-Cooper

“How was your day?”

The journey is lonely since we were forced to split “There are some friends who are very nice and there is some food which tastes a little familiar”

I’m glad I survived but still loneliness is endless Friday arrives He left with his mom And I went back to my room

As usual

My phone rings

It’s still the same message From “Grandma”

I can never tell you how I love you; Too much would be said, Too much lost. Though in keeping what little I have, I lose an infinity In the lives I could have had With you

Something I Cannot Do

I’ve never really known what it was like to lose

Then came you,

Yes it felt as if I was beaten and bruised

Constantly thinking I was just used

Words stuck in my throat turning me blue

Day after Day my body screamed, I can’t move

All you left were options, and for me to choose

I think, at least you came right

After all, who made my darkest nights ignite into something bright?

I mean, who made my biggest problems feel so lite?

Again, who was the one person I could hold ever so tight?

It was you so,

It’s forgetting that I can’t do

Because forgetting means to forget you

Forget anything and everything that was ever true

So I’d rather forgive than forget,

For you, I'm thankful we even met

Kegan Mcgonigle

When I Left

I'm grateful that I left you.

I'm grateful that when I was yours you made me feel alone.

I'm grateful that when I made you mad you would call me worthless.

I'm grateful for how you criticized my body and the way I styled my hair.

I'm grateful that you said you didnt love me even when I cared.

I'm grateful of the pain you caused me that swallowed me whole and left no air.

Makenzie Ross

Constricted

Like an anaconda, Attempting to ambush me, Choking me with her words. The oxygen in my lungs escaping. It was as if I was drowning. Being masked by lies. I was unsure of myself. I was weak to stand. The urge to object, The urge to confront her. Thoughts of the truth, The thought of her lies. Her denial felt evident, Yet I couldn’t utter a even a remark. Her words masked, Her lies camouflaged. I knew the falsity behind them. Constricted.

Unable to defend myself, Strangled.

The truth under my breath dissipated. I can’t confront her.

I refuse. Like prey, I submit. I stop resisting, Stop struggling. Accepting her snake-like words. What I knew to be true, What I knew to be a lie, That’s all it will ever be.

Tommy Hoskins

Chant

If only people came with a trailer

Not all villains wear masks

Stay Focused

Pure heart and pure intentions

Easily taken advantage of Constantly the victim

Stay Focused

There’s no point in saying anything

The damage is done

I’m done

I have no more energy

Stay Focused

So it’s time to move on for the betterment of my emotions

Leave anything and everything related to you in the past

Walk with my head held high

Stay Focused

I did nothing wrong

We outgrow things

People

Clothes

Hobbies

It’s normal I guess

I just wish it didn’t have to end like this

Stay Focused

So today and everyday moving forward I dedicate it to being a better person

I feel light

Like a feather

Stay Focused

No matter what

At the end of the day

Only you have you

Stay Focused

Thalia Shepard

This is how to do the laundry; whites with whites, dark with darks, and heavies with heavies; wash with cold water so you save money; hang up athletic clothes so they don’t shrink; do you unbutton buttons and zip up zippers or is it the other way around?; this is how you do the dishes; don’t waste the water when you rinse; this is how you sweep; move things and get under the rug; this is how you vacuum; this is how you shower; PTA, pits, tits, and ass, if you don’t have time to shower; set the table properly; napkin and the fork on the left side of the plate, knife on the right; where does the spoon go?; this is how you cook; always spray the pan; never look away from your eggs cooking; take reusable bags to the grocery store to save paper and plastic; this is how you bag groceries; never put fragile items on the bottom; don’t forget to go to the bathroom before you leave home; always have more layers then you need because you can always take them off if you’re hot but you can’t add if you don’t have them, always lock the doors when you leave the house and when you come back; lock the car every time; hide all your valuables in the car, someone will break in if they see something they want; there are some crazy people out there; this is how to protect yourself against a man trying to take you; aim for his private, quick palm to the nose, and bite him if you have to; never turn your back in a fight; only wear one headphone when you’re alone; this is how to avoid creepy men; why do I need to sit with my legs closed?; this is how you go to a party; never put your cup down; never leave your friends ; make sure you have a designated driver; this is how to be successful; do what you love to do; I can’t want this for you, you need to put in the work; so money can buy me happiness?; as long as you get your work done, you spend your free time how you want; don’t procrastinate; this is how to be in a good relationship; love who you want to; some things aren’t worth fighting about, pick your battles; if they ever hit, leave, there are no second chances; this is how to be happy; where what you want, be comfortable; eat what you want but stay active; don’t talk back to me; there’s nothing I can do to stop you loving me?

Emelia O’Gilvie

A Mother’s Love

As I look in your eyes

All is see is unconditional love for the daughter you always hoped for Your face proud and beaming as you watch me from the bleachers

Your hands are powerful tools, transforming simple colors into a masterpiece on a canvas

Not as powerful as your mind, which is the root of your ability to see, and then create

Your soft kisses on my cheek when you tell me goodnight make my troubles disappear and let me fall into a deep sleep

Deep, deep, deeper

Your laugh is tangible Contagious enough to take a bad day and make it fade away until I’m drowning in joy

And your smile is now mine, too Your love is like an ocean, so large and so deep I always want you to receive the same Because when you feel love, I feel love

Alana Scott

James

Born a Capricorn, an earth sign, 5:59

My older brother opened his eyes to the world

2 years and 11 months before I did

1064 days seems like a lot

But we closed the gap with love and laughter

Kindness

is his superpower

Lighting up the lives of the people he meets

Can someone tell me why my bro is so nice?

Like can I get a slice, of that genial pie?

He was my idol

And I was his carbon copy

Hand-me-downs ruled my life

In more ways than one

But I followed close by with a smile

The day he discovered dance was the day

Our paths began to diverge

Music became his muse

Dance was now his language

While sports stole my heart

New people are drawn to him, like a moth to a flame. Making friends is his fuel, enthusiasm is his engine, this extroverted car simply won’t stop. And when he greets our cats after a long day, that’s his happy placeHe just wants to stay, Trust me he would if he could.

School was anything but a breeze

The words jumped and jumbled on paper Pages were mountains to climb

I think there’s a name for that DisLexTake a breath sound it out

Ah dyslexia

Because of a couple of genes his brain didn’t develop the same. A learning disability, but it didn’t disable his need to succeed. Demons always in his ear,

Are you smart enough?

Are you good enough?

Letters arrive in the mail

Will the work pay off?

Determination is his rule

Dream school

-Accepted a weight off shoulders

He can’t wait to be older

He’s 21 years old now but still the same at the core.

My hope for him is that he stays genuine, keeps reaching for his goals, and that his life doesn’t become too confusing Like some words in a book

Emelia O’Gilvie

Night and Day

My brother is 4 years older than me

To everybody, we have the same face but night and day personalities

We are bound by blood so we have to get along Right? He would say, “Yes” I’d be like, “sure..”

I’m a pure jock just like my dad, and he is artistic on theater stages like our mom. My brother is my best friend. My best friend has a boyfriend and sings and acts til there’s no tomorrow but there's no one else I would rather follow

There is always a story each day The smallest inconvenience becomes a problem of the century but the worst day can change into the best.

Whether it's a simple conversation and we'll talk for hours or him teaching you a new game and you beat him repeatedly

I pray he gets what he deserves the world is preferred , and just like the Earth needs the sun I am night and he is the day. I hope he casts shadows as he shines on that Broadway stage living his dream. He is my role model for life and I hope to make him as proud as he has made me

Jaxon Toney

AnAngel

Myauntis82yearsold

She'sonearthbutyetearthseemssofarawayfromher

Anangelrepresentsheroceaneyes

Shecarriesonherchestapinthatrepresentsanangel

Anangelisherreincarnation

Myauntlongstoseetheworld

Theworldwelcomesher

Sheliesinbedwonderingwhatlaysoutside

Herstuffedhouseencloseshermind

Paralyzinghertothecouch

Theangelssurroundhercouch

Theytugatherbeggingtoseetheworldbeforeit'stoolate

Shebringsherselftochurch

Thesafeplace

Theangelsitsonherchest

Herfearofsicknessbringsherfromthechurchtothenursinghome

Shesitsbyhercousinsside

Shepraysforhercousin

Shepraysforeverythingaroundher

Thebirdsinherbackyard

Hersonwhocantseemtoescapethedepression

Iwishforhertospeakup

Thisfragilewomenwhohasloveforeverylivingpeace ofearth

Yetshecantloveherselfenoughtoknowthatshedoesn't havetobetheangel

Shecutshair

Sheeatswarmsoupfromhertinywallpaperedkitchen

Thelastfivedollarbillthatliesinherpocketshegives tome

Sheseesthroughmethelifeshewishestoexplore

Shelivesvicariouslythroughotherslives

Iwishforhertohaveherown

TalyaTraub-Cooper

She does not know me.

Sitting in a frayed brown chair, Her pale eyes not windows but mirrors, Pools of hollow reflection.

Like a ghost, she has joined the ranks of the living dead.

The veins bulging through her translucent skin, Evidence of blood running to and from her heart, Keeping the body working, Unaware of the mind's early departure; A head filled with echoes of humanity. Ten years before, she asked to be euthanized. She had wanted only to die a human.

The basement cedar closet keeps moths from the clothes she no longer wears; Fur coats, silk dresses, embroidered shawls, Each of these are shadows, yards of woven life, Carefully tucked away in plastic.

Upstairs, she shuffles around in stained grey sweatshirts, smelling of decay, Her perfume bottles gathering dust in a long-forgotten corner. She moves past yellowing photographs, these containing the last, flat traces of her mind; Her body haunting an empty house.

Alone, Tommy Hoskins

A Poem–“All Gone”–Written in Binary Code

I was always quick to forgive, No matter the damage, I could not be angry for long, I could not hold a grudge. Life always seemed too short to worry about it. I would throw my anger away, I would never spend a minute to look back a nd wonder about the tragedy of my fate. I would never reflect.

I spent nights and days trying to silence my internal cry…

Trying to kill the raging agony…

Fulfill the perfectionist desire…

Not until recently, Was I able to take a breath and think…

The smallest amount of air would set my lungs on fire.

Fire up my mind in the endless unrest.

There was always one exception… Myself.

No matter how hard I tried, I could never forgive myself, Hold myself to the same standard as others.

Now, it is all gone. The Feeling of endless hopelessness has been replaced with something deeper… Harder to identify.

A nihilistic delirium - a thought that gives me peace.

Jakub Ozarek

They say that if a black cat passes your path, it’s bad luck. I am not so sure if I believe that’s true.

You see, this cat is different, he comes every night, looking for something special, something unique

His dark black coat blends in with the dark black painted sky

The stars shimmering so bright, almost as bright as his eyes He stands in the same spot with the same stance, but no one knows why, not even me,

and I don’t even think he knows himself

But he gives me hope, positivity, it’s like he keeps searching for something he has lost he doesn’t give up. He is there every night.

They say that if a black cat passes your path, it’s bad luck. I believe he is just like me and you, just trying to find the missing piece to renew.

The Ferryman

Between two realms, I come and go, Through time's crevices, where memories flow.

For so long, it seems, Something forgotten, lost in dreams.

Time digs and searches, what lies below, Yet, I remain unaware, what it wants to show.

Did it take away, Or was it I who let it astray? Is it playing the red light, green light game? Yet, I never win, all the same.

However, I know I haven't won, but my faith remains, I know one day it will drift away, For now, with time, I wrestle and sway.

It took my present, a truth to convey, But I seized its future, as I made my way.

Becoming me, Becoming it.

Zhenye Feng

I’m nothing less than grateful

Grateful to be me, the most loving, faithful Christian Always crediting my successes to nobody other than God

Going from a just young girl with dreams to those dreams as my reality

A result of multiple failures

Blood, sweat, and tears in order to shine

Started as a seed slowly blooming into a flower Like a cub in the wild staying down until it becomes its time to grow into a lion

Alana Scott

I am a man with dreams so grand

To change the world, to achieve the goal

I don't want to follow the mainstream tide

But forge my own path, and walk forward

Yet, in the stillness of the night

As I lay in bed, out of sight

I feel so small, so insignificant

A tiny drop, in an ocean so magnificent

Doubts creep in, and I start to question

Am I too young, too naive?

My thoughts are muddled, self-contradictory

As I struggle with my own inner history

Can I achieve it

Or am I just a man lost in reverie?

In search of solace, I found my way

To a path that leads to a brighter day

I found in faith, the hope of life

I turned to God, and found my peace

And all my struggles, they seemed to cease

For I consigned my worries and my pain

To a power that's greater, a divine reign

And my inner world, no longer in disarray

For the doubts and fears that plagued my mind

Were replaced by a calmness, a peace so kind

So now, I walk with a steady stride

And I trust in God, to be my guide

And my inner world, it's now at ease. Yingkai

Me, Myself and I

Thanks but I’ll take it from here

The youngest child nothing short of greatness

Step up your game when you hear the name

EM

Yes I’m mixed to perfection

“A beautiful blend of black and white”

Dark and light

Day and night

My skin is my power

From the freckles to the curls

It’s my world and I won’t stop

My blood sweat and tears don’t come for free

You’re watching me

Shooting 3 after 3

I’m a dart

Each basket a bullseye

Watch me fly

Or blink and miss it

The greatest baller

Better be on my team

Bball isn’t where it stops for me

Sports is my sanctuary

I don’t have to play them to feel it in my bones

“Boston til the end”

Pats and Sox

Celtics and Bruins

You name them

I’m tuned in

The Voice, you know the show

They made it about me

Smooth talking got nothing on my melody

Vocal cords of gold

Pitch, rhythm, and style

Listen for a while

Notes so strong they reach the stars

Call it Stella

I can do it a cappella

I’m not perfect but I strive to be

Perfectionism often gets the best of me

Some may say it made me struggle

Some may say it held me back

Some may say it made me more detailed

But I got my best grades thanks to that

What people don’t see

Still hurts me

But Perfection doesn’t keep me rooted in place

Cause I made it this far

And I’m still moving forward

I’m anything but a perfect poet nor a perfect person but if you take all these parts of me

A mixed queen

A die-hard fan

A passionate singer and The illest baller

You get the best Em I am

Emelia O’Gilvie

More Than a List…

I am more than my height, weight , and gender

I am someone whose heart is tender

My identity to you is name , age , location

But do you really know my frustrations

Do you know that i'm caring

Do you know I love sharing

To you i'm just another human being

Even though the real me is unseen

Covered and hidden behind a screen

Thrown into a category

Where WHO I am is dismissed

My truth to you does not exist

I am more than my height, weight and gender

To know the real me….

Hi , My name is Jami….

You need to see I am a lot more than a list

Jamisen Hill

Professional Beginner, Bryce Chace