The Pine Needle St. Christopher’s School ● Richmond, Virginia ● Volume CII ● Issue 2
The Pine Needle is the magazine of St. Christopher’s School. It is run, written, edited and designed by students in grades nine through twelve.
Cover art by Oliver Hale ’21 explores the controversy over the Confederate statues on Monument Avenue.
Table of Contents 1 3 4 5 7 9 11 12
Remembering Mr. Hudepohl Mr. Dickinson Educates Adults Teacher Exchange Life As a Twin Rusty Wilson Racist Graffiti Rocks STC Van Arsdale’s Streak Building a Better RPS
13 The Addams Family 15 Statues 19 Q&A with the Jimersons 21 Chess Club 22 Lights on Knowles 23 Charlie Cox Biking 25 Levar Stoney 27 The Oak Needle
The Pine Needle Staff Editors-in-Chief Kinloch Nelson ’18
Henry Rodriguez ’18
William Rodriguez ’18
Faculty Advisor Mrs. Kathleen Thomas
Freshmen
Art Credits
Juniors
Hugo Abbot Curtis Hale Oliver Hale Griffin O’Ferrall Willem Peters Collin Taylor Spencer Villanueva Henry Weatherford Coleman Wray
Oliver Hale ’21 Kinloch Nelson ’18
Henry Barden John Fitzgerald Hunter Gardner Tabb Gardner
Sophomores Connor Maloney
Seniors Will Bird Ian Garrabrant Mohamed Ismacil
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The Pine Needle
Remembering Mr. Hudepohl By Will Bird
Senior Staff Writer
St. Christopher’s is mourning the death of beloved math teacher Richard Hudepohl, who passed away after a car accident Jan. 3. More than 1,000 people, including former students and colleagues, attended his funeral at St Stephen’s Episcopal Church. Born in Fort Thomas, Kentucky, Mr. Hudepohl moved to Cedarburg, Wisconsin when he was 7. During this period he developed his love for the Green Bay Packers. After his family moved to Richmond, Mr. Hudepohl attended Douglas Freeman High School. He then went on to study at the University of Virginia, where he graduated with a double major in mathematics and history. In 1987, he joined St. Christopher’s where he served as a teacher, coach and mentor for 30 years. He dedicated his life to the school and its students. Even during the summer, he took students on trips to Europe, serving as an amateur tour guide. In the Upper School he served as math department chair and AP Calculus teacher. Coaching various levels of sports throughout the years, he was most well known for coaching JV basketball with long-time friend Cary Mauck. One StC alum described Mr. Hudepohl as a burnt marshmallow, “a little crusty on the outside but warm and sweet on the inside.” Math teacher Robert Johns said, “He loved to give people a hard time, but I don’t think anybody ever thought he was being cruel. That was his way of showing affection.” TEACHER The Rev. Melissa Hollerith described Mr. Hudepohl as a “master teacher” because of his ability to teach every level of student and bring the weakest student to the highest level. This year I witnessed this firsthand. Lacking a natural talent for math, I was able to succeed in AP Calculus
due to to his straightforward teaching style and interactive classes that kept students engaged. It was impossible to daydream in his class without embarrassing yourself. If you need any evidence of this, just ask Will Roberts ’18. Another factor contributing to his students’ success was his availability before school and during free periods. Arriving to school each day before 7 a.m. provided at least an hour to answer students’ questions on homework and tests. Mr. Hudepohl was the definition of a servant leader. In addition to being a department chair, he was still willing to put in extended hours for students. It seemed like he was always the first to arrive and the last to leave. COACH I remember seeing Mr. Hudepohl stroll into 8th grade football practice with his Tilley hat, white polo and Wayfarer sunglass-
es. To a middle schooler, Mr. Hudepohl was intimidating. Likewise, when I joined JV basketball as a freshman, he was equally frightening. He had a directness and coarseness about him that could make people who didn’t know him well feel nervous. After just a few practices I realized directness was really constructive criticism. He would never yell unless he knew he was in the right. So when Coach Hudepohl raised his voice to give his opinion, I listened. Just like in the classroom, he “knew how to communicate with young people with humor” said Mr. Towell. “He could get a point across without somebody feeling bad about themselves.” I distinctly recall him during practices making sarcastic comments that would cause the entire team to break up in laughter. The comments he made to players wouldn’t have been funny unless they were true. You could sense the love he had toward his players and in
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response everyone trusted him. This belief that he truly had our best interests in mind likely caused us to play harder and smarter than we otherwise would have. Like any great coach, he was able to get the most out of his players. TRAVELER “We imagined a Paris newspaper ad: ‘If lost, seek slightly crusty American with Tilley hat. He’ll be wearing khaki shorts and a white polo during the day. Khaki pants and a black polo at night,’ ” said brother Mr. Thomas Hudepohl about Mr. Hudepohl’s European travels. I was lucky take enough take part in the summer 2017 trip to Paris and Normandy. Despite being in a foreign country, traveling with Mr. Hudepohl provided a sense of comfort. He taught us how to take the rail system, order three-course meals and interact with locals, including avoiding pickpockets. Understanding that the best way to learn was through personal experience, Mr. Hudepohl’s trips emphasized independence. Having already seen the main attractions and tourist sites many times, he would often go on his own during the day, leaving a group of inexperienced high schoolers alone in a foreign country. Although some might call this crazy,
he was calculated in his reasoning. Mr. Hudepohl served the role of his Saint Christopher, the patron saint of travelers. He wanted to lead the students in a way that would give them confidence to travel on their own. Mr. Hudepohl often said that if we were dropped in any city in Europe, he wanted us to have the ability to navigate our way around the city, take out currency, feed ourselves and return home. During these trips, Mr. Hudepohl always appreciated the history. In particular, he had great reverence for the D-Day Invasion and Normandy, where he would make an
almost religious trek each year. His brother said he not only taught my kids how to travel, but also to “seek out the authentic,” to not be just a tourist.
Without calling attention to himself, Mr. Hudepohl humbly established himself as a cornerstone of the school. Head of Upper School Tony Szymendera said, “In a lot of ways he was the super glue guy. He was the guy who made everything work.”
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The Pine Needle
Mr. Dickinson Teaches History for All By Henry Weatherford Freshman Staff Writer a quick joke about the similarities between
I arrived 30 or 40 minutes earlier than I was supposed to and noticed Clifford Dickinson, Middle School History Teacher, already ready and set up for his class, History of Richmond on the James, a part of the Chamberlayne Scholars program. Minutes before 7 p.m. on Nov. 14, alumni, parents, grandparents and friends of the STC community filed into the 2010 Café to hear from Mr. Dickinson in his new class for adults. Before beginning the class, Mr. Dickinson methodically went through slides from the previous class on the Richmond slave trade, including some of the prominent slaveholders and how the economy of the so-called “peculiar institution” affected the city. After commenting on a supposed drastic change in seating, something I was unfortunate to miss, many, to my surprise, brought pens, pencils and pads from their bags and purses and were wildly taking notes as Mr. Dickinson extensively began to explain the Inner Line, the defense around Richmond to protect against the Federal Army. After
Elby Omohundro ’19 and his ancestor Silas, Mr. Dickinson rapidly changed topics to talk about Dahlgren’s raid, an unprepared attack on Richmond where Ulric Dahlgren, the son of a prominent Union officer, was killed. Bubbling with new information he wasn’t able to teach to his Middle School students, Mr. Dickinson finished at 9 p.m., a whole thirty minutes after he was supposed to. This, he noted, was not new. In fact, the three previous classes had all finished after the designated time. Even so, it seemed Mr. Dickinson wasn’t capable of getting all the information he wanted to across, and was sad anytime anyone mentioned that this was the final class. Through this class, Mr. Dickinson was able to share his encyclopedic knowledge of Richmond history with doses of humor to give parents and friends a chance to return to their childhood years in school. But, unfortunately for both Mr. Dickinson and the school as a whole, this class is over and done with.
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Teachers Switch Schools By Henry Rodriguez
Co-Editor-In-Chief
A year ago St. Christopher’s and St. Catherine’s surveyed students, asking, among other things, how comfortable they felt traveling to the opposite campus every day. Responses revealed that both schools had ample room to improve. The administration quickly contacted Dr. Michael Thompson, an expert psychologist on teenage gender relations who spoke at the first STC ymposium. He recommended an exchange program for teachers to better understand similarities and differences between the school cultures. Upper School Head Tony Szymendera added, “If the schools understand one another better that should impact, eventually, the experience of the students.” The faculty realized that their perspectives were skewed without spending much time on each others’ campuses. Math Teacher Emmett Carlson and St. Catherine’s Government Teacher June Lehman served as the year-long program’s guinea pigs. The change in environment quickly tested them. “Things are not set up in the ways I have them set up ... it’s kind of like sleeping in someone else’s bed,” said Mr. Carlson. Mrs. Lehman agreed, saying, “I like control, and I realize I can’t impose order on what goes on for most of the day” in her new classroom. Mr. Carlson said it’s sometimes “hard for students to remember that we are two
different schools.” He noted that the two schools have different mission statements, policies and procedures. For example, St. Catherine’s doesn’t adjust bells for special schedules or require dress code during exams. Still, once he had settled in, he noticed smaller variations in day-to-day life more than any single glaring contrast. While Mrs. Lehman hasn’t noticed any major differences, she finds STC students hang out in the hallways more often. She also prefers her own dining hall to the one here because she “can’t control herself ” around the larger pre-served portions, though she greatly appreciates the softserve machine. She does notice a different side to some of her students when at St. Christopher’s, and “realize[s] that there are some girls who are more comfortable at their own campus, and vice versa with the boys.” Mrs. Lehman said she was pleasantly surprised to see girls make connections with the teachers here, because she halfimagined “they would just spend all their free periods [at St. Catherine’s].” Both find the faculty fundamentally identical. Mrs. Lehman said that, while “the teaching styles might be a bit different ... our goals with students are the same.” Mr. Carlson agreed that, “at the end of the day the faculty on both campuses are professional educators that make decisions to serve the best interests of the students.” He does believe that St. Christopher’s teacher/
coach model can “give the culture more of a different feel.” Perhaps the largest culture shock to them, especially Mrs. Lehman, was being forced to ride the buses every day. “I feel I should always sit in the front alone,” she said. “... It’s got to be hard to get on that bus as a freshman.” Even as a teacher she constantly hears things she’s probably not supposed to. Still, she’s impressed with the level of politeness shown to bus drivers on a consistent basis and thankful that the 14-minute path taken during the recent construction of the J-lot has been rerouted. Mr. Carlson said he knows the bus drivers do their best but “realistically 10 minutes is not enough to travel the distance and get there consistently on time.” He’s pleased at having gotten to know all the bus drivers, since most teachers never get the opportunity. The two believe the program has been an overall success. “It’s definitely been great for me,” said Mr. Carlson, “... getting the opportunity to interact with [St. Catherine’s] teachers on a daily basis.” Mrs. Lehman sees some room for improvement in a semester — rather than year-long — program, which “would get more buy-in.” Still, she said, “there’s no question in my mind about the value of this exchange.”
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The Pine Needle
Life as a Twin: Tabb and Hunter Gardner
By Spencer Villanueva Freshman Staff Writer
Tabb Gardner ’19 gets called by his brother’s name at least once a day, but he doesn’t mind. “It literally means absolutely nothing to me now,” he said. “It’s normal. We look the same.” The confusion has tapered off in recent months because the identical twins have gotten different haircuts, and Hunter has grown a little bigger. When the Gardners were little, their parents bought them similar clothes, toys and games to limit conflict. Like typical brothers, they often argued over who got the better thing or who had the coolest toy. Once in Lower School, they got airsoft guns for Christmas. Tabb is still resentful that Hunter got a nicer, high-end model while Tabb ended up with a subpar gun due to a misinterpretation of the product’s quality. Tabb recalls having to make do with what he got. Tabb and Hunter are similar and different in many ways. Because they grew up with the same experiences, they also have
the same mentality and interests. They both have a love for music, and they like to listen to a broad spectrum of genres. The main difference between the two is that Tabb is more outgoing and social. On a typical Friday night, Tabb is likely to go out with friends, while Hunter often chooses to stay home. There are advantages to being twins. “Having someone there constantly, you’re not alone,” Tabb said. He likes the fact that he always has someone to talk to about his problems or issues. They usually have mutually shared opin-
ions about people and situations at school and at home. He and Hunter talk about classes and teachers that are challenging, and also about relatives who annoy them. When exams roll around, they appreciate having someone at home to study with. Last year they had all of the same classes. The twins were able to collaborate and share notes throughout the year. All in all, Tabb wouldn’t choose differently, saying “In the beginning I took being a twin for granted a bit. Now, I realize how special it is.”
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By Willem Peters
Freshman Staff Writer
If you thought being a twin is special, you’d be wrong, according to Hunter Gardner ’19. You may think that it would get frustrating with getting mixed up, but if you alter yourself physically in some way, those mistakes will decrease exceptionally, he said. He and his brother Tabb found this out early on and decided to change their hairstyles, which has worked so far. Hunter is the younger of the two by the immense time of 25 minutes. They play video games together, hunt with their father, listen to similar music and watch movies. Tabb is considered to be the more social of the two, while Hunter likes to help his parents around the house. The biggest problem for the Gardner brothers, or at least for Hunter, is that they are never really alone. Of course, that can be an advantage as well. “You always have someone close to you so you’re never really lonely … which can also be a con,” Hunter described. Other
advantages are helping each other with homework, or even just doing chores like taking out the trash. They have also gained new friends through each other, which is also convenient. The negatives of being an identical twin are few for the Gardners, but small things can sometimes get on their nerves. They don’t get into any fights, other than verbal arguments, which most brothers say happen all the time. The Gardners are constantly compared with each other, which can sometimes be annoying, “All those inspirational movies [have] a try-andbe-yourself theme … but when yourself is your brother, it kind of defeats the purpose,” Hunter said. When asked about what life he thought would be like without a twin brother, Hunter said, “I couldn’t really comprehend it other than it would be really lonely.”
Teacher Spotlight:
Rusty Wilson
By Mohamed Ismacil
Senior Staff Writer
Upper School Art Department Chair Russell Wilson started playing drums professionally at age 9. “I played my drums at a concert and we appeared on a TV show,” he said. He played with two other guys a couple years older. His first paid gig was a backyard keg party where they each pocketed $5. A few years later when Mr. Wilson went to the theater with his father, he was amazed by the performance of the actors in the play Long Day’s Journey into Night. “I was 15, and the play rocked my world. I felt like I was watching my family on stage,” he said. At age 16, he had saved enough to buy himself a van. “I never had to have a job. I was making money,” he said. These two experiences were transformational in laying the groundwork for the man he would become and his future career. “Art became became my life,” he said. Mr. Wilson spent four years with the National Shakespeare Company after going to college for acting at the State University of New York at Purchase. “I loved the experience of being in a play with people I
didn’t know.” After those four years, he moved New York for an acting career where he met worldfamous actor Bruce Willis then moved to Richmond, where he continued pursuing his acting career. He briefly relocated to Los Angeles for two years but moved back to Richmond. In 1992, Mr. Wilson made his directorial debut in Richmond with the Tennessee Williams one acts “The Glass Menagerie” and “Danny and The Deep Blue Sea.” He later moved to Idaho and started his own theater company, The Company of Fools, which won the Idaho Governor’s Award for Excellence in the Arts. One of the reasons that he likes theater is that it tells a story about people we love, people whom we are related to and our friends. The stories make life worth living, he said. “The thing that always strikes me is the storytelling. If we don’t have stories of our time here, it’s like we never existed. If I don’t tell my daughter stories of my grandfather and father, then basically those people will fade away.” Mr. Wilson teaches three sections of
Creativity Through the Arts, a semester-long freshman requirement. He also runs advanced performance studies with one to two students where they spend an entire year doing a oneperson show. He also takes a major role in Ampersand, where he helps students improve their acting skills. “What I love and respect about him most is his willingness to tell you what you are doing wrong,” said Spencer Cox ’18, who recently had the lead role in the school musical. “He knows it is most important to work on your weakness before praising your good habits, because it yields the best results for you and the show.” Mr. Wilson advised the youth who want to become the future actors to “get in a class, audition for a play or do a play of your own but at least do something.”
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The Pine Needle
STC Rocked by Racist Graffiti By Kinloch Nelson and Collin Taylor
Co-Editor-In-Chief Freshman Staff Writer
Even before Head of School Mason Lecky knew about it, the writing on the wall had been painted over, but the damage had been done. On Nov. 2, an anonymous student wrote three words above the urinal in the upstairs bathroom of Chamberlayne Hall: “Niggers not allowed.” After a senior reported the graffiti, Mr. Lecky heard that some kind of vulgar message had been written in the bathroom. The All Saints Day service was the next day, and he was concerned about balancing the attention he was giving to the graffiti with the memorial service, especially to those who had lost a loved one in the last year. Mr. Lecky first saw a picture of the message just moments before the service. In his impromptu talk, Mr. Lecky was forceful. He insisted that if whoever wrote the graffiti believed what they wrote, he had no place in the school, the country or the world. His impromptu remarks were a
strong message that this community is not tolerant of race-based hatred. After the service, Mr. Lecky called a meeting of his administrative team, a group of about 20 school leaders from all three divisions, only one of whom is black, Shawn Moore, who is director of community and inclusion and associate director of admissions. The team discussed the severity of the incident and their decision to send an email to parents. From Nov. 2 on, Mr. Lecky was approached by many black students and alumni. He was emphatic that though the incident was particularly painful for someone who is African-American, he didn’t want people to think this is just an African-American issue. He wanted to ensure that the entire school community learned a lesson. “I don’t want to hide the fact that what happened was an ugly racist incident.” Mr. Lecky said, “but, I think we might also have the opportunity to examine how we treat each other.”
After Mr. Lecky’s talk, Mr. Moore called a meeting of all of the black students in the Upper School. They came together in an effort to confront years of what some described as systemic racism at our school. The 24 black students and Mr. Moore fit comfortably in the Alumni Hall. “If we aren’t talking about this right now they will forget about it,” said Mr. Moore, and many other students stressed similar opinions. To many students attending, the meeting was the most black students they had seen in a room together on campus. Students attending discussed various subjects such as the graffiti, diversity and life as a minority at St. Christopher’s. Mr. Moore said that he does not believe St. Christopher’s had a racism problem. “St. Christopher’s has a diversity problem,” he said, “We can’t continue to be the lowest in Richmond in terms of diversity.” He also said the response to the incident was “a little disappointing.” He said that he thought many students had moved on. “We
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should still be talking about it,” he said. He was doubtful that the school would ever find out who wrote the message, but said that whoever did it should probably be expelled. Mr. Moore had questions for the offender. “Why would you do this?” he said, “Why would you send this message in this climate?” He said that though he had no evidence connecting the two events, he had noticed that the message came just days after his chapel talk about the power of diversity. He also noted that the Unite the Right rally in Charlottesville, Virginia and other political tension may have contributed to the atmosphere that incited the graffiti. “To have something like this at our school puts us in direct conflict with all that’s going on right now,” he said. Another part of the school’s response was a follow-up presentation by senior leaders Will Forrest and Justin Jasper on the difference between empathy and sympathy.
Forrest’s speech described his experience as a white student visiting Stanford University in California where he said he felt the anxiety that many minorities experience daily. He saw advertisements catering toward Asian-Americans, signs written in Chinese and many non-white students, and he consequently felt out of place. Jasper’s speech was about his personal experience as one of the two African American seniors at StC. He said that a lot of students apologized to him, but he emphasized that there is a “difference between sympathy and empathy.” He was furious about the incident from the start. He said that it couldn’t have been a joke. “The word ‘nigger’ is an attack on my race and my humanity,” he said. Jasper also talked about the his other experiences at St. Christopher’s and in the Richmond community. When he was young, his parents gave him what he called “the talk,” a discussion about how he would be affected by racism in his life. He
has been followed around in stores by loss prevention employees, and he had to break up with girlfriends because of his race. Despite the racism and discrimination, Jasper maintained that he loves St. Christopher’s. “After 13 years, there has never been a day in my life when I felt unwanted,” he said. After Jasper and Forrest’s powerful speeches, the entire Upper School split up into discussion groups led by seniors. Each group was given a list of questions about the role of community at St. Christopher’s. In the weeks following the event, discussion has subsided. “The last time I heard anyone talk about it was basically a week after it happened,” said Willem Peters ’21. This goes in conflict with Mr. Moore’s ideal response to the incident. “We should be talking about it,” he said. “The saying is that you don’t want to beat a dead horse, but sometimes the horse is alive.”
The Van Streak
By Griffin O’Ferrall Freshman Staff Writer
Almost no one can achieve excellence in whether or not he could secure the job. So, coaching. No coach is perfect, but Upper he quickly added a new sport to his repSchool History Teacher Scott Van Arsdale’s ertoire. Surprisingly, the tennis team went record is. undefeated that year. Whether coaching lacrosse or his No matter how many times people favorite sport football, he has not lost a compliment him on the undefeated streak single game at St. Christopher’s as of midand what he has accomplished, Coach Van December, the time this story was written. continued to give the players all the credit. That includes two seaWhen asked to what he “I just felt he made me a sons of JV football and attributes the undefeated better person and football streak he has going he a year of JV lacrosse for a record of 33-0 at player when we were play- said, “I’ve found the STC. ing and when we weren’t.” players very coachable ... Although he beI also feel our athletes are lieves the record is a result of the players’ better prepared physically because of our dedication and has nothing to do with him, strength and conditioning program. I feel there are signs that point to his coaching. our athletes are just better prepared across Past events indicate that the record is not the board no matter the team or sport.” a coincidence. While interviewing to be a Hank Feiler ’20 said his experience on teacher at Monacan High School, Coach JV football was all about Coach Van. “I Van was asked to take on a sport he did just felt he made me a better person and not know much about — tennis. He wasn’t football player when we were playing and forced to do it, but it may have affected when we weren’t.” This article was written before Mr. Van Arsdale coached ninth grade basketball. That team won its first five games but lost the sixth.
Building Better Richmond Public Schools By Willem Peters
Freshman Staff Writer
Have you ever thought of what it would be like to go to a school that could barely hold up its ceilings? More schools in Richmond deal with issues like this than you think. That is the reason why Building a Better Richmond Public Schools Club, or BBRPS, was created. This club, headed by French and Spanish Teacher Elsa Woodaman, was formed more than a year and a half ago and is still going strong. The main goal of the group is to clean up and improve Richmond’s public schools as much as possible. Projects can vary from replacing ceiling tiles to janitorial work to landscaping and mulching the playgrounds. Improving the schools can mean bringing out the beauty behind overgrown plants or just enhancing the property so that the students are safe. “One student was injured from a ceiling tile falling on his head,” Mrs. Woodaman said.
“Safety is our main priority.” Currently, a core group of six students always shows up to help, while others take part occasionally. The club pays for needed supplies from funds received from sources such as grants from breweries and restaurants. It also raises money by selling shirts and pint glasses. The club doesn’t accept donations from students, families or friends. Club meetings contain very little discussion and are more hands-on, usually involving going off-site and getting to work. The BBRPS president for St. Christopher’s is
Christian Carlow ‘18 and for St. Catherine’s Addie Wood ‘19. Contact them or Mrs. Woodaman if you are interested in joining or learning more about the cause.
The Addams Family “Throughout the process, we all got to know each other and become a family.�
By Ian Garrabrant
Senior Staff Writer
My time as a member of The Addams Family cast began Aug. 22 with my audition. The process was hard, first on my nerves, then on my body during the dance tryout. I’ve done a lot of theater, mostly outside of school, but waiting for my turn to sing as an entire group of insanely talented St. Catherine’s girls went before me definitely left me sweating. Even worse was the waiting that came after. Finally came the callback audition where I was ultimately cast as Lurch. I felt relieved after that but, looking back, the hard part was just beginning. In the play, the Addams family hosts a dinner for Wednesday’s boyfriend’s family, the Beinekes. These roles are backed up by a talented ensemble with Lucy Farrell ’19, Jamie Newton ’19 and Emmy Jankowski ’19 serving as our stage manager and assistant stage managers, respectively. The stage managers basically operated as designated cat herders, making sure we actors were where we were supposed to be and doing the things that were required of us, most of the time. One day, I rushed up to the stage door because I was almost late and found it
locked. By the time I walked around to the other door and got in, I was late. When I complained that the closed door was the only reason I was late and that it was really the fault of whoever closed it. Lucy, the one who had closed it, found my excuse to be lacking. The dance portion of the musical was physically taxing. I believe the football coaches could take some pointers from our dance instructor. The repetition and sheer amount of time spent practicing left me exhausted every single day. Thankfully, as Lurch, I ended up getting out of dancing after auditions, but I am still wildly impressed by my fellow cast members’ ability to flow seamlessly from dance practice into singing and acting. Throughout the process, we all got to know each other and become a family. We made some incredible memories, especially during the Ampersand sleepover. The sleepover is devoted to building the set, with the actors finally taking a turn helping the tech crew finish up. After working tech for a few years, I was familiar enough to know my way around and have a general idea of what to do and where things are. Some of my fellow actors, however, did not. I
distinctly remember Grayson Walsh ’18’s confused look when Director of Theater Maury Hancock told him to go and get scissors to cut excess meshing off trees. Grayson just nodded and looked around with a blank expression that seemed to question, “Now where are they?” The stage managers also had fun doing all kinds of random jobs. I was helping bring pipes up from the basement, affectionately known as Hell, to be cut for the platforms, and I vividly recall how excited Jamie was to cut the pipes. From having dinner together to celebrating the governor’s election, we had a lot of fun and formed a strong bond. I feel this relationship really did translate to the stage and help make The Addams Family an amazing show.
CAST Spencer Cox ’18 Laney Yoo ’18 Caroline Lynch ’19 Emily McDermott ’18 Grayson Walsh ’18 Ian Garrabrant ’18 Darren Badley ’19 Hannah Jennison ’20 Liddy Wade ’20 Charlie Whitlock ’19
Gomez Addams Morticia Addams Wednesday Addams Alice Beineke Mal Beineke Lurch Uncle Fester Pugsley Addams Grandmama Lucas Beineke
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The Pine Needle
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Teachers Address Monumental Debate By Connor Maloney Sophomore Staff Writer
The Southern United States is filled with the legacy of the Confederacy. As the only time of civil war in the country’s history, related issues are heated and divisive even a century and a half later. In the South today, the monuments created in memory of wartime figures have been thrust into the spotlight of controversy. Memorials to some of America’s darkest days and an irrevocable part of American history, different parts of the Richmond public view them both as proud symbols of the South’s ancestry and a glorification of war and slavery. Monuments in New Orleans have been removed under claims that they were put up to intimidate black communities and empower white supremacists during the Jim Crow era. Similar events have transpired in Brooklyn, Baltimore, Orlando and St. Louis. Once the capital of the Confederacy and the main front of the Civil War, Richmond and the rest of Virginia have become a battleground for the Confederate monuments. The debate violently erupted when a rally by the Ku Klux Klan and neo-Nazis recently clashed with rival protesters in Charlottesville. This violence has placed some of the country’s most polarizing people deep into an already extremely divisive issue, inflaming the debate regarding the (in)famous monuments, standing here in Richmond on Monument Avenue. As tension builds, we decided to interview a few faculty members for some much needed perspective.
The Jefferson Davis statue on Monument Avenue in Richmond
Middle School History Teacher Cliff Dickinson had some choice words for those who want statues removed. “I personally think it’s quite inappropriate,” he said, “It’s what you call a bandwagon.” Mr. Dickinson considers the recent protests to be a heinous oversimplification of the history and lives of those represented by the monuments. “You could go to every headstone in Hollywood Cemetery of everyone who owned a slave and smash it under that logic,” he said. He believes that certain people jump to the conclusions they want to be true rather than accurate ones, presenting historical figures in improper ways, or as he calls it, “learning history backwards.” Such thinking, he claimed, attests to the decreasing value of history in current society. He asks, “What are our monuments? Works of art, history or both?” He explained that because there is no definite answer, society cannot afford to make such drastic generalizations. — Henry Barden ’19
Upper School History Teacher Josh Thomas leans towards statue removal unless the men depicted are relocated to a setting more appropriate for celebrating the history of the city and state, such as a museum or war memorial. He believes the issue should be decided by the state but would like for the the community to have a say. “It depends on what the particular communities want, how they want to tell the story of their town,” he said. Mr. Thomas would like to see the city replace the statues with “more native Richmonders or important Virginians who have contributed to any variety of fields.” As of right now the statues only honor one faction of society during one time period, said Mr. Thomas. “We are not getting a full history of Virginia with just a group of monuments dedicated to one group of people.” Mr. Thomas believes that the statues are not necessarily bad, and if kept intact, they need context to tell the complete story. — John Fitzgerald ’19
Upper School History Teacher Greg Tune believes that if the statues honor those who fought, bled and died for the South, it only makes sense to keep them up. But, if the statues were put up to intimidate African-Americans, “they should be put into a museum or something like that.” “Whenever Neo-Nazis and white supremacists attach themselves to these monuments, it makes them indefensible,” Mr. Tune said. “They’re turning these statues into symbols of white power.” He believes that the divisive rhetoric heard in Congress and in public is alienating people. Since only those on the far right and far left appear to be speaking out about this issue, many people in the center will come to the conclusion that all the statues should either stay up or be taken down. “I do believe there is a middle ground somewhere,” he said, “and I hope a compromise will take place.” — Henry Weatherford ‘21
____________________________________ “I’m not certain folks on either side of a police barrier even know what the other side stands for,” said Upper School Chaplain Whitney Edwards. “It’s easy to see it’s not really about whether the statues should remain or be removed, it’s about the many and often conflicting versions of history and truth, something that is difficult to resolve. The conversation and reconciliation is our highest aim. What I don’t condone is violence. That’s just weak to me.” The Rev. Edwards finds the question of keeping or demolishing the monuments especially difficult, since terms like “oppression” under a historical lens can have such varied meanings. “It depends on the type of oppression. Sometimes oppression morphs and changes. The past is the past, but if it continues, it’s still relevant.” From a biblical perspective, scripture always calls for reconciliation. Many arguments for removing align
with biblical stories of oppressed peoples. For the Rev. Edwards, the debate hinges mainly on one thought, however: “Are the statues symbols of the past or emblems of a continuing dynamic of oppression?” — Henry Barden ’19
____________________________________ Dr. Andy Smith declined to give his true feelings on the subject, but he did provide some historical context. Dr. Smith believes that Virginia is so rich in history that “if we want to have to have replacement statues, we have plenty of historical figures of all kinds.” But, he is open to replacing them with small orchards, gardens or sculptures. If the decision is made to remove the monuments, which, he notes, is not up to Richmond but to the state of Virginia, Dr. Smith believes that the new statues should represent a figure or idea upon which everyone can agree. He believes that a compromise will eventually take place and finds it unlikely that it will be “all or nothing.” He supports mindful yet lower-budget solutions, given that money is badly needed in Richmond’s public schools. “We as a nation must think very seriously about what we want to memorialize and what we want to symbolize in terms of the nation as a whole.” — Henry Weatherford ’21
____________________________________ Writer-in-Residence Ron Smith was a staunch supporter of the statues on Monument Avenue, a historic area that he values, until the Unite the Right rally in Charlottesville. “I’ve always loved Monument Avenue, but if the monuments are going to be a magnet for neo-Nazis, you’ve got to remove them,” he said. In his new book, The Humility of the Brutes, the poem “Artificer,” written before the rally, is somewhat autobiographical and emphasizes the way the statues glorify the “losers and traitors.” Mr. Smith describes how he brought his own grandson through the streets of Richmond: “Still, he’ll want me to drive/him back down Monument in the golden light./You want to see the losers
and traitors again?/Yeah, he says, I like them. I think you mean, Yes, sir,/I say, and he Yes sirs me with a tiny wince./ What about Arthur Ashe, I say. Well, he doesn’t/have a horse or a whole planet about to roll off/and crush his head. Good point, I say,/and off we go.” Mr. Smith has his own ideas on what could supplement the now tainted Confederate leaders. He suggests including people such as Maggie Walker, John Marshall and Ellen Glasgow. If the monument to Confederate President Jefferson Davis has to go, he believes Edgar Allan Poe would be a good replacement and imagines a giant bronze raven on the column’s top. Other suggestions from Mr Smith include, perhaps most controversially, Nat Turner. “I never would have thought two years ago it was a good idea to put a statue of Nat Turner on Monument Avenue, but I think so now,” Mr. Smith said. “Why not?” His final proposal is an even stranger one, almost lost to history. In 1966, Spanish artist Salvador Dali submitted a design for Monument Avenue: a surrealist battle between Captain Sally Tompkins, a nurse and possibly the only woman commissioned in the Confederate Army, and a dragon-shaped microbe, in the style of St. George slaying the dragon. Although the statue’s unusual fingerbased design elicited an almost entirely negative reaction when first designed, Mr. Smith believes there’s a chance that twenty-first century Richmonders might be more receptive to the statue. — Kinloch Nelson ’18
Photo from Virginia Historical Society, a sketch of Dali’s proposal by Bill Wynne
How It Was By Ron Smith "Since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight and the sin that so easily ensnares us and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us." — Hebrews 12:1 "The world itself can be our desert." — St. Augustine I. First, this caped peacock, ridiculous romantic beard, feather in the fancy hat, rearing on his horse, turning in the saddle to the east, to face, we used to say, the hospital some blocks away where he died. II. Next, the centerpiece, nobility raised high above the rebel rabble, splendidly in control, bareheaded, humble in an aristocratic sort of way, not yet dismounted bookish in the mountains, still on the Saddlebred who would die horribly of tetanus, but who would outlive his rider, he of Grey Eagle stock who bows eternally to the south. III. Then, the statesman, politician, palm up and out toward the great general back down the avenue, leaning a bit off balance, not quite trampling a book under his left boot, embraced by an arc of Doric columns, the traitors' exedra, over which soars a fluted shaft topped by a draped woman pointing to Heaven, a figure that cannot be Victory, is Liberty or Virtue. So we used to say. IV. Farther along, we come to Mister Unmovable, all hooves down, four-square, unshakable, upright in the saddle, he and his horse fiercely glaring at the irritable traffic to the north, glaring forever. V. And then the clown-bald man in the chair, not really a wheelchair, who faces back east between the double line of oaks, back to the generals, back to his president, the one and only. Above his head, the mapped globe bobs on a boiling sea of shipwreck— men and women, a dog, a bull, a horse. Fish who are not there circle the marble base, counter-relief, as are the swallows. In his left hand a scroll, in his right a pen. But he is not writing, is not sketching, is staring at nothing in our world, the hair above his ears sweeping forward like waves ... VI. Finally, a pill of a pedestal, white topped with brown bronze, a thin, horseless man shows you his back, his buttocks, holding above his wooly head a book, a tennis racket. Rising from the ground below his feet, four children, trapped at the waist, each reaching with one hand for help, we used to say— or to fend off a blow from the racket, from the book. This man wearing our clothes has turned his back on the commander, on the generals and the politician, on the rising sun. We used to stand to his left, the south side of the street, so that the racket formed a halo round his head. He sported large spectacles, which he could lift from those children to the western horizon, direction of Death, something we had long before redefined as Manifest Destiny.
19
The Pine Needle
By Curtis Hale and Coleman Wray
Freshman Staff Writers
As some of you may have spotted, two giants appeared this year at St. Christopher’s. Gibson and Gabe Jimerson, both measuring six and a half feet, transferred from Benedictine College Prepatory School. This is their second year to play together, but their first for the StC varsity team coached by Mr. Hamill Jones and Mr. Stephen Lewis. Gibson, who is a junior and 14 months older than his brother, is already highly regarded by colleges who hope to secure his talents on their roster. The elite shooter is making a huge splash, averaging about 24.9 points per game (as of Jan. 16), including a stellar 44-point performance against Saint John Paul the Great Catholic High School. Gibson resembles such great Saint 3-point shooters as Nick Sherod ’16 (University of Richmond starting guard) and Alexander Petrie ’17 (Lafayette College guard) but Gibson has made it clear that he wants to be more than just a shooter. Gabe, a sophomore, will continue to improve during his next few years of development at STC. Coach Jones already says that Gabe can shoot, post up and drive well.
Jimersons Star for the Saints
Photo of Gabe Jimerson by Miller Farley ’18
Photo of Gibson Jimerson by Alexa Welch Edlund from the Richmond Times-Dispatch
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GABE: Why did you transfer here? “More opportunities. I came to play basketball, but I think the education is better here.” What is your favorite part of STC? “The use of technology.” Who is your favorite player to play with on the varsity team? “Gibson because he makes everyone better because he’s a great player, and that rubs off on everybody else and makes everybody else better, just him being out there. I’d say it’s both his ability, and how he plays, the decisions he makes.” Do you have any hobbies? “I used to play the electric guitar. I had a couple dirt bikes; I would go and ride dirt bikes, but that’s all. I got too big for that, and I ended up stopping guitar, so it’s basketball now.”
Did you try any other sports when you were younger? “I played football eighth grade year. I was a lineman. I wanted to focus on basketball in high school, so who knows, I might play next year.” Did you and Gibson talk about the move to St. Chris together? “I don’t think we would ever separate. You know if he went to college I doubt that we would go to the same place but if that would work it would be cool.” How did you start playing? “As long as I can remember I’ve played basketball. It’s always been basketball.” What are your strengths and weaknesses as a player? “I would say that’s the biggest thing is just how big I am.
What are you working on? “So right now I play power forward/center, so you know. I would say my job on the team is to rebound the ball and to score on the side when they need me to score and to run the floor.” Is there anything specifically that you are trying to focus on? “I would say right now I’m trying to focus on becoming a guard because in college at the level I want to play at, a guard is my size, so I’m trying to transcend from always playing center and forward to be able to play on the wing and dribble and shoot.” Do you aspire to play D1? “Yeah Division 1 would be where I want to play. If that didn’t work out, you know Division 3. I think I would want to continue playing basketball after high school.”
actually had played in a game at the same time. Last year he was on the team but didn’t really play that much. We get along on the court well. It’s fun.” Do you guys play against each other often? “We play 1v1 a lot at the gym, and that is really competitive. We go at it at practice, but that is a part of the competitiveness.” Do you guys disagree often? “We get along well now that we are older. We used to (disagree) when we were younger, but I would say we have a good relationship now.” What do you love most about the sport? “I like the competitiveness. I like coming out and going at somebody. I hate to lose.” Personal favorite sports moment? “Probably when I got my first offer last year. I had a really good game on my AAU team. I had 31 points, and I got a call from the Cincinnati coach saying that they offered me (a scholarship). That was probably the biggest moment.”
What is your biggest strength on the basketball court? “ I would definitely say shooting. I have been known as a shooter, but I have developed in other parts of the game.” What is something you feel like you need to work on more? “I would say, on the defensive side, probably guarding the ball, [guarding a] faster player and also getting other people involved and keeping my head up when I dribble.” Which team do you want to beat the most? “I would definitely say Trinity, because that game was kind of personal because Jason [Wade] on the other team took it personally to really try and guard me. He won, and he held me to 11 points. I think that [the next matchup] will be personal. Also the Benedictine game will be personal. I am looking forward to that one.”
GIBSON: What do you think of St. Chris so far? “I like it. It’s different than Benedictine. There is a lot more free time, and it’s not one thing after another. I can get my work done, athletics here are great and the weightlifting has been very beneficial.” Why did you transfer here? “Benedictine wasn’t for me anymore, and the basketball situation was kind of getting old. There was no gym on the campus, and no technology really at the school. I kind of just wanted the change.” How has the transition been? “It’s been pretty smooth. I have gotten to know people pretty well, and I knew some people from sports, but I have made friends, and the classes are going well.” What is your favorite part of STC? “I just like the community aspect of it. You kind of know everybody, and everybody knows you. Everybody is close together. At basketball games people are there, supporting and you get to know people very well.” Do you like playing with your brother? “I do. This is the first time that we have
21
The Pine Needle
The Thinking Man’s Game Returns Seniors Bring New Energy to Chess Club
By William Rodriguez
Co-Editor-In-Chief
There’s a new club in town. Or rather, an old tradition is making a triumphant return. Several years ago, students could be spotted hunched over tables and couches in the Luck Leadership Center and library, furiously pitting pawns and knights against each other in the competitive and cerebral sport of chess. Those students have graduated since, leaving abandoned chessboards strewn across the tables of the Loud Library, but this school year a new generation has risen to revitalize the state of the 1,500-year-old game on campus. “It was loose, it was almost like one of those clubs that just gets their photo in the yearbook,” said Will Bird ’18, the current president of Chess Club. An avid chess player, Bird realized the importance of a STC chess club last summer while playing with his friend and club co-founder Jack Pendlebury ’18. As his skills grew, he
began to see the beauty of the game. He realized that chess teaches skills essential to students’ development. “There’s no luck in chess. There’s no ball randomly bouncing your way; it’s just man-on-man. It’s a thinking man’s game.” Though it drew a rumbling laugh from students when they announced their first meeting chapel early in the year, Bird and Pendlebury’s club has since grown exponentially. “For a lot of kids it started out as a joke, then once they started playing they really got into it,” said Bird. The club’s official member list confirms that: it’s swelled to more 50 people, and Mrs. Hawkins has had to purchase new chessboards for the library. Chess Club also convenes in Mr. Britton’s calculus room sometimes, but Bird takes special pride in just seeing people sitting around playing chess. A chess club member can often be identified by their signature merch: a pale blue shirt boldly declaring “Chess Club
Nation.” It’s become a popular fashion statement across campus, with 35 shirts already sold and more on the way. Bird believes this has led to exposure of chess around school and ultimately a greater interest and appreciation for the game. He said that he often sees great potential even among newcomers who just joined because of the cool shirts. When asked about advice for any aspiring grandmasters, Bird said that those interested in chess shouldn’t be afraid of the stigma, even though chess clubs often “get a bad rap in movies and TV.” The benefits of just basic play could be life-changing, he said. “It fosters creativity while also playing within the rules.” Still, Bird doubts that Chess Club will expand to include other popular tabletop games such as dominoes, backgammon or checkers. “Absolutely not,” he laughed, “Once you go to chess, there’s no going back to checkers.”
22
Under the Lights By Hugo Abbot
Freshman Staff Writer
“not quite as easy as you think,” Coach Athletic Director Ren O’Ferrall wouldn’t O’Ferrall said. “One of the issues would be be surprised to see Knowles Field lights the logistics behind it, the permits, the zoncloser to the top of the school’s prioritized ing, because we are in a neighborhood.” project list in the next five to six years. “I Head Varsity Football Coach Lance do think that there’s a good chance that this Clelland likes the idea of floodlights on can happen,” he said. “There’s plenty of Knowles Field. Mr. Clelland said that the interest and excitement.” decision is not up to him, but that lights, This would mean football, lacrosse and “would add a tremendous dynamic, and soccer games could be played at night. would be an awesome atmosphere to For now St. Christohave.” He knows that “I do think that there’s a plans have been made, pher’s students have few good chance that this can and zoning has been opportunities to experience the night game happen, there’s plenty of researched but doesn’t atmosphere. Past experiinterest and excitement.” know where it all fits ences at events like the in the grand scheme VISAA state championship soccer game of priorities. Overall, Clelland thinks this demonstrate that night games can offer project could be “something that really gets more excitement and hype. our boys excited and fired up” for sporting Still, getting lights on Knowles Field is events.
By Hunter Gardner
Junior Staff Writer
Last summer, Charlie Cox ’19 embraced his inner Eddie Anderson ’17 and biked almost 1,000 miles across California. Cox’s father hails from the bustling city of San Diego so he was familiar with a program called Overland, which organizes summer experiences for teenagers. Cox discovered the bike trip, which goes from Lake Tahoe to Santa Monica Pier, through the program. Immediately after committing, Cox got a bike and began training. He trained from January to June for his upcoming endeavor by riding his bike almost daily. The trip began near Lake Tahoe on July 14. Cox was physically prepared for the experience but was not prepared for the nightly temperatures of Lake Tahoe in the summer. “I have never been colder than I was at Lake Tahoe at night,” Cox said. During those few nights spent in the moun-
tains the temperature hovered around the teens. With summer camping gear in hand, it made for a frosty start to the journey. The cold did not stay for long as his group of 13 quickly descended into the Sacramento Valley. Cox clocked in a top speed of 55 miles per hour during the long descent. Each member of the group carried about 70 pounds of gear and camped out at the end of each day. Their typical biking routine lasted from 5 a.m. to 4 p.m., and they averaged 70 miles a day. The most difficult day came with a very long ascent. Cox and his group had to ride up a steep hill that was nine miles in duration. The roads were long but were filled with some amazing scenery. The rolling waves of the Pacific filled with seals and “surfers getting pitted” gave the group amazing views along with grand sequoia trees in northern California. The journey ended Aug. 4, two weeks and 975 miles
later in Santa Monica. Cox lost 20 pounds but gained an experience that would last a lifetime. “The idea of doing 1,000 miles in 14 days with 70 pounds of gear seemed impossible and I don’t think I could have done it myself,” he said. Cox and many others in the program came from all across the country. He did not know anyone prior to the program but came out of it with a group of close friends. “The people on the trip were extremely interesting to talk to and made me think about things in a different perspective,” he said. He is planning to complete another Overland trip while also stepping it up a notch this coming summer. The trip Cox is planning is from Charleston, South Carolina to Los Angeles and would take a big chunk of the summer to complete.
REMEMBERING MLK
Community leaders address economic disparities
By Henry Weatherford Freshman Staff Writer
Recent talks from Mayor Levar Stoney and Director of the Office of Community Wealth Building Reggie Gordon highlighted many important issues facing both the St. Christopher’s community as well as the greater Richmond area, including racism, how to fix economic problems facing many citizens and how to create a more just and open society. These recent talks tied in with the school’s celebration of the Rev. Martin Luther King, the prominent civil rights activist. Both speakers commented on economic inequality in the city of Richmond. The tuition for a single year of Upper School at St. Chris costs more than $27,000. The median household income in Richmond is just over $40,000, which means that many parents of the 952 students who attend this school pay more than two thirds every year of what most people in this city make per year. A quarter of Richmond’s population lives below the poverty line and 4.3 percent are unemployed, higher than the average of Virginia, with 66 percent of them being African American. The home-ownership rate is 42.3 percent, nearly 20 percent lower than the national average. Mr. Reggie Gordon, introduced by Julia Murillo ‘18, has a career steeped in
community service as former director of Homeward, the William Byrd Community House, the Greater Richmond Chapter of the American Red Cross, and, as of 2016, director of the Office of Community Wealth Building. Mr. Gordon’s most memorable subject was his story about ending hunger in Richmond. He told about how another lunch program for the homeless was up for debate, and how a homeless man told the organizers that the money he was supposed to use on food would instead be used for drugs and alcohol. The man noted that a breakfast program would be much more effective for those who go to work before 6 a.m. He talked about his work at the Office of Community Wealth Building with Mayor Stoney to help increase the prosperity of the 55,000 Richmonders living below the poverty line. Mr. Gordon finished his talk by asking two important questions: “What structures need to shift to end poverty?” and “How do we build relationships to help people survive?” Following Mr. Gordon’s speech, Mayor Stoney was introduced by Darren Badley ‘19. Mayor Stoney was originally from Long Island, New York, but moved to Hampton Roads, Virginia when he was young. There, his father, a convicted felon, worked various low-wage jobs. He lived
almost all of his childhood as part of that 66 percent of African Americans living in poverty. Stoney’s speech focused on helping a divided Richmond come together and having people work together to create a more just and open city. He knows that everyone, no matter their race, ethnicity or sexual orientation, desires the same things: safe neighborhoods and good schools. All parents want their children to have the opportunity to go to a school with the necessary resources. All these components, Stoney said, “will not only make a better city, but also a just city” and will help to “change the narrative of the have and have-nots.” Inevitably, the debate over Confederate statues came up. Mayor Stoney took a very strong stance on the subject. He would not “shed a single tear if the Jefferson Davis statue was torn down.” He said this “in full knowledge that this school, until not long ago, divided their students on the name of Confederate generals.” At the end of his talk, Mayor Stoney pleaded with the members of the Upper School of St. Christopher’s to get involved outside of the classroom because he knows that this school focus is on producing leaders, and, as he bluntly put, “Leadership matters.”
Mayor Levar Stoney was born in Long Island, New York but moved to Hampton Roads at age 7. There, his father worked multiple low-wage jobs before finally landing a job as a high school janitor. He graduated from James Madison University in 2004 and was soon named a Governor’s Fellow by Governor Mark Warner. After working with John Kerry’s 2004 presidential bid, he worked as political director then executive director of the Democratic Party of Virginia. He was a powerful component in Governor Terry McAuliffe’s gubernatorial run, even being called the “closest advisor” by the governor himself. Under the McAuliffe administration, he was named secretary of the Commonwealth. On April 25, 2016, he resigned from his position to run for mayor of Richmond, winning 35.64 percent of the popular vote, beating Jack Berry (D), Joe Morrissey (I) and Michelle Mosby (D).
A graduate of Duke University with a degree in public policy and Howard University School of Law, Reggie Gordon has served the city of Richmond since 1997. He first joined Homeward, a nonprofit organization designed to “prevent, reduce and end homelessness by facilitating creative solutions through the collaboration, coordination and cooperation of regional resources and services.” After seven years, he became the executive director of William Byrd Community House, an organization designed to give an equal chance for all to climb the economic ladder. In 2007, he became the chief executive of the Richmond chapter of the American Red Cross, and in 2016, the director of the Red Cross for the Commonwealth of Virginia. In June of 2016, he was appointed director of the Office of Community Wealth Building by Mayor Stoney.
27
The Pine Needle
The Oak Needle St. Christopher’s Finest News Source
By Hunter Gardner
Tune Takes Tumble
Junior Staff Writer
The morning began with lines of golden sunshine and the chirping of birds as Greg Tune, head of discipline at St. Christopher’s School, awoke to a bright day ahead of him. He rolled out of bed with a stride in his step, finally feeling reborn after an appalling back problem left him in a hideous stupor. The problem arose for the middle-aged man after a difficult day of yard work years ago and recently ended after treatment from his local doctor. Tune descended from his room and into his kitchen to make breakfast for his family. It was not typical for him to do so but, with his back pains eradicated for good, he insisted. After the delicious breakfast Tune peered outside his humble abode to see a frozen tundra mixed with ice, snow and some pavement. Standing in his doorway, Tune realized that the remaining ice and snow on the roads had not melted much and would remain a hazard for the rest of the day for the commuting students of the St. Christopher’s community. However, a little ice and cold water would not stop him. After the commute to school and his longstanding tradition of herding students into chapel, Tune began his walk towards Chamberlayne Hall. In the peaceful moments walking towards
STC Alumnus Becomes Mildly Successful
the great and historic building, Tune thought of how lucky he was to be in good health and how beautiful the campus was, as snow and ice began to melt and drip from the pines. As he walked into the building. he couldn’t have been happier. Tune stopped for a second to look around at all of the students and faculty walking amongst the halls and breathe in the wonderful day it would be. A wholesome twinkle sparkled from his pearly whites, forever displayed in his endless smile. Students’ and faculty spirits rose around him, sensing his aura of happiness and peace with the world. His next step landed in a slushy spot in the middle of a black and white tile of the floor. In slow motion Tune’s right foot began to lift and go airborne, leaving his left to try and recover. The left pushed to no avail. Tune was coming crashing down to the cold, hard floor of Chamberlayne. Now both feet were nearing waist level and his back approaching knee level. Looking into the fluorescent lights of the hallway Tune’s eyes went wide. His blissful morning flashed before his eyes. He struck the unforgiving wet floor with unprecedented force — like Hephaestus’ fall from Mount Olympus — shaking the building to its very core. Students and faculty rushed to the almost god-
Doctors on Bones: “We Can Rebuild Him”
like figure’s aid. Tune was in shock, once again feeling as if he were in bed. When he went to get up, he once again felt the aches and pain of being a middle-aged man. He no longer felt as if the fountain of youth was flowing through his veins. Tune at first was unresponsive, looking around wideeyed as those who cared for him were asking if he was O.K.. Once he snapped out of shock he said he was all right and slowly walked back to his office, leaving his spilled coffee on the floor of Chamberlayne. In his office he shut the door and closed the blinds. He then took his lumbar support pillow out of the trashcan and placed it on his chair with a tear running down his cheek. Following this fateful day Tune has distributed more hours and breakfast clubs than ever and still retains his odd walking posture. He has also used a majority of his son’s college fund for Powerball tickets, none of which have been successful. Tune has lost faith in the medical field and has begun looking into various religious rituals to spiritually cure him of the back pain. The Pine Needle will keep the community updated on his condition.
Multiple Lower Schoolers in Hospital Following Junior Crossing Guard Negligence
28 Investment Club Goes Bankrupt in Stock Market Crash
Van Arsdale Statue in Works for JV Coaching Achievements
Controversial Contracts
After hours of digging through athletic contracts, The Pine Needle’s crack team of investigative journos discovered some less-than-legitimate athletic activities.
Bowling Surviv.io “Hanging Out” in Tune’s Old Office Varsity Ampersand Exercises in Mindfulness Chess Reading Other People’s Mail The Most Dangerous Game The Pine Needle
Library Collaborative Yarn Project Accidentally Summons the Devil
Master of the Revels Censors One Acts in the Name of Queen Scheckelhoff
Following Unfunny Joke, Mysterious Laugh Heard from Back of Chapel
Is Dabbing Still Cool? See Page 44
The Arcadian Covers Breaking News Four Months Late
J-Lot Protests Spark Violence By Tabb Gardner
Junior Staff Writer
A peaceful protest surrounding the lack of parking spots in the new J-Lot tragically turned violent last week. In the past three weeks since its completion, a small group of nine juniors have voiced their desperate anger over being left out of the much anticipated project due to a lack in parking spots. The juniors call themselves the Little Maple Nine, named after the desolate parking lot from which they hail. Their protests began as peaceful, but certain events made relations worse. A few days after protests commenced, Disciplinarian Greg Tune denounced the protesters, calling them “wimps.” Little did Tune know, his remarks would cause the largest student uprising at St. Christopher’s since the Chicken Riots of ’16. The original nine students returned to protesting with
newfound vigor. They were now blocking traffic with arms linked to demonstrate the injustice of having to park so much farther away from chapel. Impeded students parking in the highly sought after Junior Lot were getting annoyed. Name calling and threats were now common in the morning between the two forming factions. All it took was a single chunk of hurled snow, and an atomic level of chaos would ensue. One frigid morning last week, one of the many watching students had seen enough of the Little Maple Nine and took action into his own hands and threw a large piece of condensed snow at the demonstrators. The projectile slammed into its target, sending a protestor plunging to the ground with an audible thud. The infuriated group of activists
charged with inhuman speed into the crowd of onlookers fueled by sheer desperation. Battle commenced, and carnage was immediate. Both factions threw chunks of ice that rained down on cars and people. A large dust cloud enveloped the havoc and masked the frantic movements of the combatants. When the dust settled, both sides of the fight had clearly taken heavy damage with no clear victor. Students were covered in wounds, and many mangled vehicles sat destroyed in the war-torn J-Lot. After each student limped their way over to chapel, both parties reconvened and agreed never to repeat the violence seen that day. The Little Maple Nine learned to cope with their one- and ahalf-minute walk to school, and at this time relations appear back to normal.
Confederate Statues p. 15
Charlie Cox Bikes 1,000 Miles p. 23
Life as a Twin p. 5
The Addams Family p. 13