Step 12 Magazine A Message of Hope in Recovery

MARCH-APRIL 2017

ISSUE NO. 21

® Being of Service:

Action of Love Surf Therapy

by Staff Writer

Identifying Progress

by Dr. Judi Hollis

Addiction and Nutrition

by Dr. Keerthy Sunder & Jeffrey Bohnen

Finding Purpose with Service

by Kristin Wilhite

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MARCH-APRIL 2017 - 3

Inside This Issue

8

Features

14

20

24

32

30

6 Being of Service: Action of Love

30 The Student’s Perspective

8

32 Reiki: Cosmic Healing

by Jami DeLoe

Identifying Progress

Dr. Judi Hollis - Food Obsessions

44

56

by Judy Redman

by Carrie Ewing

10 Out in the Trenches

38 The Crucial Interplay Between Addiction And Nutrition

12 Relationship Killers: Anger and Resentment

40 The Seventh Reality: Profound Coherence

14 The Truth About Service

44 Serve Up Yourself

15 Dependability

46 A Life of Service

16 Finding Purpose with Service

48 Advertorial: Surf Therapy

20 Life on Main Street

50 A Clean Slate

22 Half Measures

52 A New Freedom and A New Happiness

24 Everything Triggers Something

54 It’s a “We” Program

26 Dear Petra Questions and Answers

56 America The Beautiful

by Carol Teitelbaum - It Happens to Boys Darlene Lancer on Codependency

by Jim Anders

by Tom Bliss and Alexandra Katehakis

by Kristin Wilhite

by Morgan Thorpe

Dan Sanfellipo - Unlocked for Life

by Lori Nelson

by Petra Hoffmann - Expert Answers about Hep-C and Addiction

by Dr Keerthy Sunder and Jeffrey Bohnen

by Susan Jackson - The Seven Realities of the Addicted Family

by Nora Slattery

by Dr. Phyllis and Rev. Carrol Davis

by Staff Writer

by Mark Masserant

by Kyczy Hawk

by Randy Boyd

by Suzanne Whang

28 Advertorial: No Longer Lost

by Staff Writer

Regular Stuff 5 7 7 7 9 11 18 21 27

Letter from the Editor Letter from the Publisher We’ve Got Mail Random Thoughts Quotes Metaphorically Speaking Newcomer’s Page Self Assessment Questions Book Reviews

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36 41 42 53 57 59 60 65 66

Puzzles Resources for Families Reader Contributions Recovery Online Laugh Lines We Asked, You Answered Directory of Sponsors Recovery Trivia Horoscopes

42

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Letter from the Editor respectfully at your service,

Roni Askey-Doran

Many years ago, when I was giving lectures at seminars on Child Sexual Abuse, I thought what I was doing was helping others come to terms with their own terrible stories, and begin the process of healing for themselves. I stood behind podiums in packed auditoriums, sharing my story and describing how I overcame incredible odds to finally get the justice I so diligently sought for over a decade. People were inspired. I know that because countless attendees hugged me and told me so after each event. I felt the service I was giving as an advocate of sexual abuse was helping people, from victims and survivors of abuse, to numerous health and legal professionals with whom we come into contact on our long journey back to a whole soul.

At one such event, the Mayor of a large city introduced me before my presentation, at first briefly outlining my journey to his door.

Then, in front of hundreds of people, he stood tall and stated that he also had been sexually abused as a young boy. The audience became dead silent. I could hear myself breathing. He said that he had followed my lectures around the country, each one giving him a little bit more courage to speak out and tell his story. He told his constituents that it was okay to be scared, and that it was okay to come forward, and that he would personally see to it that a counseling center for abused men was initiated in his city.

I could barely make my presentation for tears of gratitude at the words and actions of that brave and generous leader.

Over the years, my service in that field changed the lives of thousands of people for the better, but that Mayor gave me the gift of a healed heart. Please enjoy our issue on Service. No matter how you choose to serve others, be assured that it makes a difference to someone’s life, and most especially yours.

Ste[p12 Magazine TM

Publisher:

Karen VanDenBerg karen@Step12magazine.com 760-898-8354

Editor:

Roni Askey-Doran editor@Step12magazine.com

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MARCH-APRIL 2017 - 5

Being of Service:

Action of Love

Along with recovery and unity, service is one of the main tenets of Alcoholics Anonymous, so you know it’s important.

In fact, it’s something just about every alcoholic and addict starting recovery is instructed to do. I know I heard about finding some way to be of service in the program when I was in treatment and had very little experience with AA. It was on my recovery plan when I left treatment along with finding a home group and getting a sponsor. And I eventually did it, chairing a meeting once I had six months sober.

I understand the thinking behind picking up a service job within the program. It gets you involved, provides you with some accountability, and helps you meet others within the rooms. Service at meetings can be anything from making coffee, greeting people (especially newcomers) as they arrive, passing out AA literature for step meetings, and cleaning up afterwards, to sharing your story at a speaker meeting and becoming a sponsor. I haven’t done all of those, but I’ve done my fair share.

What I’ve noticed is my idea of service and the way I go about it has changed during my recovery. When I first started attending twelve-step meetings, the service I provided was contained within the rooms. That was good for me, and it was enough. But as I grew in my sobriety, and recovery became my new normal—a way of life rather than a program—I found keeping my service within the rooms too confining.

It’s important to be of service to other alcoholics in AA, there’s no doubt in my mind. But I find it equally important to be of service to others around me—those I’m close to, people I don’t know well, and even strangers. So now, I do my best to be of service to anyone who is struggling with addiction, their own or someone else’s.

It started out slowly, this new way of being of service. From the beginning of my recovery I was open about it with loved ones. If I’m being honest, that had nothing to do with being of service. I did it because I thought if everyone around me knew, it would make it harder for me to relapse. What I learned, though, is that by being open, people who needed help with (or just to talk about) alcohol-related problems began to open up to me. Talking with others helped strengthen my own recovery, and it helped them to have someone who understood. I realized then I was being of service outside of AA. Fairly early in my recovery, I was asked to speak about alcoholism at an assembly of vocational college students for

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by Jami DeLoe.

Alcohol Awareness Week. I was an employee of the school and while my coworkers knew about my alcoholism, most of the students did not. When I gave the presentation, there were a lot of shocked expressions when I told the group I am an alcoholic in recovery. I am not a public speaker by any stretch of the imagination. But when I gave that talk, I held everyone’s attention, saw a lot of affirmative head-nodding and smiles, and received so much positive feedback. That wasn’t the best part though. The best part came in the following weeks as students would come into my office and ask for help or information about alcoholism. I did that talk every year for the next three years, and the results were always the same. I was being of service just by sharing my story.

These days, I am still practicing being of service. I have a personal blog about my recovery, and I write about it for a couple of other blogs and publications. I talk about addiction with others all the time and I help those who need and ask for it. I share my story to show others that there is hope and that sobriety can be achieved. But I also do it because it’s my way of being of service.

If you’re just starting out, I’ll tell you the same thing I was told—find a way to be of service in the program. It doesn’t matter what it is, being of service will help you and others.

You may find your idea of service changes over time, as mine did. But even if your service is always making the coffee, you’ll find it’s usually about much more than that.

It doesn’t matter what it is, being of service will help you and others.

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Letter from the Publisher

We’ve Got Mail!

Letters from our Readers

Hello Karen,

Sometimes I accidentally do something right. I get a random “Thank you” and am completely dumfounded about what I did to deserve it. I usually respond with, “for what?” My brain starts working overtime to figure out when, what and why I did something that somebody liked well enough to thank me. I want to recreate the scenario and continue to get “Thank Yous” (even though they wouldn’t really be random anymore).

My first inclination is to say, “Oh, it was nothing!” (see, I’m humble, too). But that’s not true. It is always “something” when another human being is touched in some positive way by something I may have had a part in. My higher power talks to me through other people so it only stands to reason that, as a person, maybe I’m just a conduit for some random message someone else needs to hear. So the thanks really goes to my higher power.

And so it goes. Sometimes being of service is as simple as being your best possible self and available for God (or whomever your higher power is) to use for delivering messages. The best part of getting an occasional random “thank you” is the sense that you were in the right place at the right time and something good came out of it.

It was a pleasure meeting you [at the The Evolution of Addiction Treatment Conference in Los Angeles].

I have truly enjoyed reading your magazine, and look forward to receiving more issues via a subscription. Thank you for your dedication to the amazing and life-changing world of addiction news and inspirational support. I hope to submit an article to you someday!

Warmest regards, Teresa Young, CHC, Ph.D. Disability Specialist Dear Step 12 Magazine, I’m writing to thank you for the privilege of enjoying your informative magazine.

Don N Send your letters to: karen@Step12magazine.com

Remember to say thank you to the people who say just the thing you need to hear at just the time you need to hear it. They’re not working alone, and they are definitely in the game with you.

Thank you for being part of my journey by being present for yours.

Respectfully and Enthusiastically,

Karen VanDenBerg Sometimes being of service means NOT trying to fix something that ya didn’t break.

Unless, of course, you’re a dentist!! www.step12magazine.com

MARCH-APRIL 2017 - 7

Experience, Strength, and Hope For People Struggling with Food Obsession

Identifying Progress For close to half a century, I have been a champion of the idea that the program which has helped alcoholics into lifelong recovery can also help compulsive overeaters in their struggles with food. The tools that have helped alcoholics maintain sobriety can also be used to help the compulsive eater find balance and serenity. However, unlike the alcoholic, the recovering compulsive eater doesn’t see immediate results!

Often for alcoholics/addicts, after about three days clean, they start looking pretty good. Puffiness subsides, cleanup is quick, and congratulations start pouring in. They are presentable, even normal looking, and they set off toward a whole new life fueled with encouragement and momentum. Conversely, many overeaters following a rigorous program of surrender and discipline rarely display any outward signs of recovery after just a few days, or even a few weeks! Many recovering overeaters work their program for many months before their recovery is noticeable by friends and family members. In OA, it is a fatal mistake to measure recovery by externally visible changes (i.e. the scale).

Being sick and tired of being overweight is often the driving force of our initial surrender. We come to lose weight after all other programs have failed. Jenny Craig is on speed dial, Weight Watcher apps are active on our phones, or we may even still be paying off the deductible for our weight loss surgery—but we gain the weight back even when we succeed in losing it. Why? Because we are compulsive eaters. We take comfort in our sweet and salty morsels the way an alcoholic

finds comfort in their wine or bourbon. The ability to control and enjoy our eating eludes us and we walk through the doors of Overeaters Anonymous gasping for breath as we drown in a sea of despair.

Unfortunately, instant gratification is an inside job. Overeaters don’t enjoy that three-day-sober glow that the recovering alcoholic or addict experiences. We cling to hope and a sponsor while we begin to build a different relationship with food because, after all, we can’t just give up eating. We lovingly let the tiger out of the cage every day and mindfully plan and purposefully eat for sustenance rather than comfort. We start accepting the idea that we don’t need to hide behind our fat and we begin loving ourselves with spiritual and nutritional sustenance.

“We become our best possible selves.”

The great gift our AA parent bestows on us is the spiritual power of the twelve steps. We focus on our spiritual journey, owning our choices of the past, understanding and letting go of our character defects and making amends. We become our best possible selves on the inside, and the fruits of our labor begin to show. We become aware that, without dieting, we are beginning to shed some pounds. Our friends and family start to notice, too. And ironically, it isn’t the weight loss that made life more enjoyable… it was the spiritual path and the self awareness that made a tangible positive difference in our lives.

Progress is not always apparent to the outside world as we traverse the road of recovery from compulsive eating. But there is a confidence that grows from within when we embrace the program of OA. When we find ourselves approaching a healthy body weight while not obsessing about what we ate, will eat, or want to eat, we will know peace. And gradually, our friends and family will notice—and that will just be the proverbial “icing on the cake.”

Dr. Judi Hollis is a Licensed Family Therapist, author of several books and educational materials, motivational speaker, radio and television expert. Judi would love to hear from you! You can ask Judi questions and access her materials, at www.judihollis. com or call 1-800-8-ENOUGH

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Famous Quotes abou

t ... SERVICE

“The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.” ~ Mahatma Gandhi “Only a life lived in service to others is worth living.” ~ Albert Einstein “Service to others is the rent you pay for your room here on Earth.” ~ Muhammad Ali “I slept and dreamt that life was joy. I awoke and saw that life was service. I acted and behold, service is joy.” ~ Rabindranath Tagore “To give real service you must add something which cannot be bought or measured with money, and that is sincerity and integrity.” ~ Douglas Adams “The most important service to others is service to those who are not like yourself.” ~ J. Irwin Miller “Always give people more than what they expect to get.” ~ Nelson Boswell

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MARCH-APRIL 2017 - 9

Out In The Trenches

by Carol Teitelbaum, MFT

Nine years ago our It Happens to Boys Conference, group and speaking team started.

At that time there were four original members; Scott Smith, Randy Boyd, Daniel Marquez and David Price. We created a “movement” together.

I was a member of the Multiple Disciplinary Interviewing Team at the DA’s office where Dr. Tang told me he knew there was an under-reporting of boys who have been sexually abused in the Coachella Valley.

I told him I would take the information back to the Child Abuse Council and we voted to take this subject on as a project.

Scott Smith created our artwork and we voted to invest in a billboard. It was exciting when we found three different billboards around the Desert. It says: Child Abuse. It shouldn’t hurt to be a child, It Happens to Boys too. After noticing the billboard, many men have come forward, called, and become involved in the project. More men began to be added to our roster and have found the path to healing.

Our first conference nine years ago found these four men standing in front of an audience courageous enough to share their stories. Being of service is the true reason they were willing to put themselves in the public eye.

It was ground-breaking work, men talking about men being sexually abused. We formed a group and met once a month.

Word got out. Daniel and Randy shared our mission with other men in the program, and our group grew from four men nine years ago to over fifty men today.

Approaching recovery centers, we asked permission to present our workshops to male patients and staff, only to be told over and over that men need a year recovery under their belt before they deal with their trauma/abuse. We responded that we had been out there in the trenches dealing with men who are abuse survivors, and that what we were seeing was men in treatment facilities abstaining from drugs and alcohol but never dealing with their core issues of trauma. They were then released from treatment, went into the outside world, and experienced triggers and relapse. We watched it happen over

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and over again, but we still were denied the opportunity.

After a few more conferences under our belt with speakers of the caliber of John Bradshaw, John Lee, Patrick Carnes, Claudia Black, Dave Pelzer, Robert Ackerman.

Jerry Moe, Dr. Cindy Carter we began being invited to come and speak, and speak we do. Some recovery centers have us present workshops to their patients and staff on a monthly basis.

Being of service is what everyone in our organization lives by. We present workshops and speak at conferences. We speak at schools, high schools, middle schools, and colleges; we speak to medical students, residents, attorneys, and law enforcement and on and on. What we are finding is that there is very little education about sexual abuse, especially dealing with men.

The original four men have dedicated their lives to being of service to those men who are still living their lives in shame and darkness. My husband Robert joined our group and also began speaking with us. Nine years later, three of our original group of men have written books and now their words are going out into the Universe to help even those men we cannot see. David Price wrote, Altar Boy Altered Life, Randy Boyd wrote Healing The Man Within, and Robert Teitelbaum wrote, Frogs and Snails and Mobster Tales; Growing up in Al Capone’s Shadow.

Telling one’s story is the first step in the healing process, and having a safe place to do the work is essential. At every group that a new man attends the words, “I thought I was the only one this happened to” is uttered on a regular basis.

Our hope is to continue being of service to as many courageous healers and their families as we can reach. © Carol Teitlebaum, MFT is a Psychotherapist in private practice in Rancho Mirage, Calif. She is also the founder of Creative Change Conferences and It Happens to Boys Program. She offers free group counseling to men and teen boys who have been sexually abused as children, and a yearly conference bringing well known experts in the field of trauma, addiction and recovery together creating a two day healing community. For more information go to CreativeChangeConferences.com or call 760-346-4606

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Metaphorically Speaking

By Karen VanDenBerg

April Showers bring May Flowers There was a storm! It was a torrential storm. Trees were uprooted, cars swerved off the road, the ocean tormented the beaches, and rain flooded the streets. It was windy and loud and foreboding. And in the wake of the storm, as is so often the case, everything feels fresh and clean. Even the wreckage seems less burdensome than expected. Breathing is easier.

The world looks brighter. The colors are crisper. The air is so clear I can see the snow-capped mountains to the east, and the white-capped swells to the west.

I think my Higher Power is reminding me that no matter how chaotic things seem when life starts whirling completely out of control, I just have to stay as safe and dry as possible until things settle down. And just like the dead and broken limbs being blown out of the trees making room for fresh new growth, my emotional baggage can also be blown out of the way making room for fresh new growth.

April showers bring may flowers. A good spring-cleaning is not only good for the planet, but it’s good for the soul. Let the garbage wash away and make room for the new growth and bloom where we’re planted.

Metaphorically Speaking is a regular column in Step 12 Magazine designed to help us connect our spiritual journey to worldly situations. Something to think about.

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MARCH-APRIL 2017 - 11

Darlene Lancer

on

CODEPENDENCY Relationship Killers: Anger and Resentment

Codependents have problems with anger. They have a lot of it for good reason, and they don’t know how to express it effectively. They’re frequently in relationships with people who contribute less that they do, who break promises and commitments, violate their boundaries, or disappointment or betray them.

They may feel trapped, burdened with relationships woes, responsibility for children, or with financial troubles. Many don’t see a way out yet still love their partner or feel too guilty to leave.

Codependency Causes Anger and Resentment Codependent symptoms of denial denial, dependency, lack of boundaries, and dysfunctional communication produce anger. We become angry and resentful, because we: 1. Expect other people to make us happy, and they don’t.

2. Agree to things we don’t want to.

3. Have undisclosed expectations of other people.

4. Fear confrontation.

5. Deny or devalue our needs and thus don’t get them met.

6. Try to control people and things, over which we have no authority.

7. Ask for things in non-assertive, counterproductive ways; i.e., hinting, blaming, nagging, accusing.

8. Don’t set boundaries to stop abuse or behavior we don’t want.

9. Deny reality, and therefore, a. Trust and rely on people proven to be untrustworthy and unreliable. b. Want people to meet our needs who have shown that they won’t or can’t. c. Despite the facts and repeated disappointments, maintain hope and try to change others. d. Stay in relationships although we continue to be disappointed or abused.

Mismanaging Anger When we can’t manage anger, it can overwhelm us. How we react is influenced by our innate temperament and early family environment.

Some people explode, criticize, blame, or say hurtful things they later regret. Others hold it in and say nothing in. They please or withdraw to avoid conflict, but stockpile resentments. Yet anger always finds a way. Codependency can lead to being passive-aggressive, where anger comes out indirectly with sarcasm, grumpiness, irritability, silence, or through behavior, such as cold looks, slamming doors, forgetting, withholding, being late, even cheating.

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If we’re in denial of our anger, we don’t allow ourselves to feel it or even mentally acknowledge it. We may not realize we’re angry for days, weeks, years after an event. All of these difficulties with anger are due to poor role models growing up. If one or both parents are aggressive or passive, we would copy one or the other parent. If we’re taught not to raise our voice, told not to feel angry, or were scolded for expressing it, we learned to suppress it. Some of us fear we’ll turn into the aggressive parent we grew up with. Many people believe it’s not Christian, nice, or spiritual to be angry and they feel guilty when they are.

The truth is that anger is a normal, healthy reaction when our needs aren’t met, our boundaries are violated, or our trust is broken. Anger has to move. Unexpressed anger breeds resentment or gets turned against ourselves. Anger requires expression and sometimes action to correct a wrong. It needn’t be loud or hurtful. Most codependents are afraid their anger will hurt or even destroy someone they love.

But correctly handled, it can improve a relationship.

Expressing Anger Effectively Managing our anger is essential to success in work and relationships.

The first step is recognizing how it manifests in our body. Identify the physical signs of anger, usually tension and/or heat. Slow your breath and bring it into your belly to calm you. Take time out to cool-off.

Repeating gripes or arguments in our mind is a sign of resentment or “re-sent” anger. Admitting we’re angry, followed by acceptance, prepares us for a constructive response. Anger may signal deeper feelings or hidden pain, unmet needs, or that action is required.

Sometimes, resentment is fueled by unresolved guilt.

Understanding our reaction to anger includes discovering our beliefs and attitudes about it, what influenced their formation, and what triggers our anger. If we frequently over-react and view others’ actions as hurtful, it’s a sign of shaky self-worth. When we raise our self-esteem and heal internalized shame, we won’t over-react, but can to respond to anger in an assertive manner.

Finally, forgiveness doesn’t mean we condone or accept bad behavior. It means that we’ve let go of our anger and resentment.

Working with a counselor is an effective way to learn to manage anger and communicate it effectively. For more information and suggestions, see my monthly blogs (see below for links).

Darlene Lancer is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, author, and an expert on relationships and codependency. Contact Darlene directly at info@darlenelancer. com or follow her blogs on www.whatiscodependency.com, also on Facebook at: https://www.facebook.com/darlene.lancer, and on Twitter: @DarleneLancer.

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MARCH-APRIL 2017 - 13

The Truth About Service

by Jim Anders MA.

Philosophers speak about several different theories of truth.

However there are three very common ways of looking at the idea of truth. First, the Correspondence Theory of truth states that something is true if it corresponds to reality. Second the Coherence Theory claims a system is true if it holds together rationally. Finally the Pragmatic Theory states that a thing is true if and only if it works.

Without engaging in the esoteric debates of philosophy, it is important for those of us in recovery to note that AA founder Bill Wilson was a thoroughgoing pragmatist. We can be sure of this since Wilson wrote, “First of all, we had to quit playing God” and then he gives the reason because “It didn’t work.”

(Big Book p62). He did not claim that it was not true (of course it is not) and he did not claim that it was incoherent (of course it is) instead he focused on utility. Was it useful to play God? No. Then that is reason enough to stop doing so!

Sobriety becomes far simpler when it is looked at in utilitarian terms. If something works for us use it and if not discard it.

There is no need to over complicate things. Do not waste precious time and opportunity trying to force utility on an unworkable strategy when there is already a proven practice.

Of all the practices Twelve Step communities teach among the most useful is that service toward others will not only benefit the served but it also strengthens the sobriety of servers. As early as page 15 of The Big Book, Wilson writes how “waves of self pity and resentment” nearly sent him back to his

addiction. However, when in the grip of those recalcitrant emotions he “soon found that when all other measures failed, work with another alcoholic would save the day.” He was focused on service for his own well being as well as for more altruistic reasons.

In my early sobriety, my sponsor insisted I make a commitment in the Twelve Step communities. So I made coffee for a few months at a meeting. Then I began to offer rides to and from meetings for addicts who had no means of transportation.

Next, I began to be featured at speaker meetings which led some newly sober men to ask me to sponsor them.

It was then that I encountered an unpleasant truth in recovery that subsequently gave rise to a small but real crisis of faith in both recovery and in myself. Not everyone who asked for my help succeeded in staying sober.

So, with a sense of failure, I turned to my sponsor with the complaint that many of my sponsees were not succeeding.

It was then he taught me several truths about service. The first truth is that a simple kindness such as emptying the trash or making coffee is never really lost. Someone will notice, someone will be touched and someone will be inspired to take up an act of service. The next truth about service is that once something is learned it cannot be unlearned. Those men who faltered on the way might have a shorter road back to sobriety because of the time I spent with them. However, he asserted that the most important truth about service is that I had stayed sober the entire time that I was working with others; and in large measure because I was working with others.

Of course, he was right. Kindness never fails to uplift and encourage someone, somewhere. Marking a trail for others to follow insures that they know the way when they are ready.

Perhaps most importantly, caring about others expands our understanding and strengthens our own sobriety. So let us get out and serve others not only for the greater good but for ourselves as well.

Jim Anders holds graduate degrees in Theology from Fuller Theological Seminary and in Psychology from Brandman University. He is in recovery himself and has the pleasure of being program manager at the 122 bed Salvation Army facility in Perris CA where he has worked for nearly four years.

you. are. enough.

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Dependability Having people to depend on gives us a metaphorical backbone, a feeling that we’re never alone. For some, growing up with unreliable, immature parents created hyper-responsibility because their very lives depended on self-sufficiency. Others became helpless, accepting their deprivation and remaining self-neglectful well into adulthood. Dependability is a basic need for children and not too much to ask for in adulthood. When we ask for our dependency needs to be met, we allow the people closest to us to care for us. The knowledge that we can call a trusted other and know that he or she will be there at a moment’s notice, no questions asked, telegraphs to us that we have value. And just as dependability signals true friendship, it’s one of the primary qualities in a love relationship because it makes us feel safe, loved, and cared for.

It’s easy to be dependable when the requests made of us cost little effort or gain us pleasure. Following through on plans to vacation with someone is a form of dependability but has the dual purpose of satisfying our own desire. But the call to be dependable can be inconvenient when it doesn’t serve mutually—even little chores like picking up our partner’s dry-cleaning or taking her or his pet

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by Tom Bliss & Alexandra Katehakis excerpted from Mirror of Intimacy

to the vet. Being of service when our lover is sick or challenged by a death in the family is where the rubber meets the road. Life is unpredictable. When we’re called to participate in painful events it can feel scary or burdensome to suspend our lives and go to a loved one’s side. Every day we expect dependability from our cars, co-workers, and computers. So we should hold ourselves to the same standard of dependability we expect from associates and machines when beloved hearts are at stake.

Daily Healthy Sex Acts  When was the last time you asked someone to do something for you? Did he or she come through? How did that feel?  Who in your life has been undependable? How did their lack of reliability affect you?  How dependable are you where your relationships are concerned? Today, practice dependability by offering someone close to you a service that may inconvenience you.

MARCH-APRIL 2017 - 15

Finding Purpose with Service

by Kristin Wilhite

As a child, I grew up in a sales and service business that my father owned. For fifteen years, I was immersed in learning customer service. I witnessed the interactions between customers and my father and realized there is always a certain level of respect that must be maintained to keep a customer. A vast amount of patience and listening is most often required.

In my own business of twenty-plus years, I know that being dependable and thorough, and a patient, understanding listener has enabled my enterprise to thrive. After this many years, customer service is innate to me. I enjoy seeing my clients’ needs and, no matter what the problem, helping them to resolve into a healthier reality. As such, I have found my purpose through service.

Recently, a client shared her story with me. For over twenty years, she has housed from four to six mentally challenged adults with disabilities. That’s impressive enough, however, one of their favorite activities is for she and her housemates to make two hundred sandwiches and then hand them out to homeless people. Everybody wins and feels good at the end of the day! These people have found purpose in doing kind things for others in need.

This brings me to a very important point. Purpose is not found trying to help those that don’t want it or aren’t ready for it. You see, there must be a level of gratitude for the energetic exchange to be effective. Even an anonymous donor feels joy knowing their gifts are appreciated. On the the contrary, it is also crucial that the giver is not going to resent the receiver if the receiver is not able to return the favor, or give appreciation. For those of you who want to investigate more on this phenomenon, read Codependent No More or study the Karpman drama triangle.

This can be a danger zone, so it is highly important to be aware of yourself when you are giving service.

As a professional healer, I have learned that self-love is a requirement to giving. Some people become confused with difference between “self-love” and being “selfish.” “Selfish” can often be when a person does not regard others while they are doing something for themselves. “Self-care” is a form of “self-love” that is required to take care of oneself in order to have the physical, mental and emotional energy to care for others. Yes, healers heal thyself!

“This can be a danger zone.”

On the day of September 11, 2001, shortly after the attacks, I told my yoga class, “People are going to need you and, if you want to be strong for them, you must take care of yourself.”

My mantra to them was: “If you want to be a pillar of strength, you must take care of your foundation (self).” Whether due to weather, erosion or earthquake, any structure will not maintain its integrity without proper care. WE, as people, need to consider the same for ourselves, especially those of us in service to others … mother, father, care-giver, restaurant worker, construction worker, social worker … the list goes on and on … even a person who sits at a computer all day must get up and stretch, eat, take a walk, a break, and drink clean water.

When we ignore our basic needs, our bodies and minds breakdown. Thus leaving us vulnerable to feeling unfulfilled, depleted, or seeking an escape—which can lead to relapse and/ or addiction. I have learned the hard way with these concepts: that “go, go, go lifestyle” and burning the candle at both ends until I dropped, overworking, becoming hypoglycemic to the point where I couldn’t concentrate. I realized that pushing myself to (and beyond) my limits wasn’t the healthiest choice for me. Of course, there are also times when we need to push ourselves to understand our limits to find balance, break though unproductive habits, build muscle or get fit at the gym, and overcome ourselves.

Wisdom comes from taking the knowledge from these experiences. And then, integrating the learnings that create our lifestyle with the very kind of quality of life we truly want.

We must take all of these things into consideration in order to enjoy a purposeful life of service.

Kristin Wilhite, HHP is the Owner/Founder of www.SustainableHolistic.com DBA Progressive Holistic Living: Providing Professional Holistic Health Care Since 1995. Check out her online class “Put the Happy in the Holidays” To Relieve your Holiday Blues. Info: http://www.sustainableholistic.com/Depression%20Solutions/remove-holiday-blues.

16 - MARCH-APRIL 2017

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MARCH-APRIL 2017 - 17

Newcomer’s Page Being of Service

Step Twelve: Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs. ~ Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous

Service is the final leg of the three legacies of Alcoholics Anonymous, the first two being recovery and unity. On this three-legged foundation many a life has been saved since 1936 when AA came into existence. Ask any longtime sober alcoholic or addict and they will tell you that it takes willingness and perseverance to unlock the door to lasting recovery. “The key to maintaining it is service,” says Tom Clavell, ten-year Director of the South Bay Pioneers Sober Living Facility. “Service is the manna that feeds sobriety and holds relapse at bay for the alcoholic or addict.”

The nondescript grounds of the South Bay Pioneers is located half way up a hill, entrenched on C Street in the City of Chula Vista, tucked away on a side-pocket driveway, hardly noticeable by most people who drive by. Since 1961 it has stood as a monument to service. The mission, as with so many other sober-living houses, is to provide a structured environment for men and women to focus on recovery from alcoholism. That structured environment includes the expectation that the residents will be of service to one another and to visitors to the facility.

by Bernard Gonzales

The definition of service, according to the Oxford Dictionary is: the action of helping or doing work for someone, to be of assistance. The word derives from the latin servus, meaning to bind together or protect. So what does service mean in relation to recovery for the addict? Clavell says in order to answer that question one has to understand that, “service is both simple and complicated.” “The Big Book,” says Clavell, “suggests that in order to keep what you’ve been given (knowledge of how to stay sober), you have to be willing to give it away.

That means understanding that service begins with short term commitments such as going to meetings, being willing to lead, make coffee, distribute literature, clean up afterwards and talk to other alcoholic/addicts. But there is also longterm service, meaning a commitment to one’s own sobriety by going beyond the confines of a meeting and extending a hand to other sufferers. “Nothing will so much guarantee immunity from relapse than working with another alcoholic,” says Clavell. “You are now equipped with certain experiences that can benefit others down the road. This becomes our primary purpose, to carry the message through service.”

As much as a recovering addict has to adapt to being of service to others, Clavell says, “they must also be willing to accept the service of others.” That can mean working with the very people we once avoided at all cost; police, lawyers, judges, parole officers, probation officers, correctional officers. At other times, it can mean unwanted attention from social services: paramedics, doctors, lab workers, therapists, counselors, social workers, and the list goes on. Those people, most of whom are not members of AA, are many times the first point of service on the gravelly edges of the road to recovery. “I can think of countless individuals in the recovery community who are sober today and grateful for the encounters that they once considered negative,” said Clavell.

“Those initial service interventions set them on a path that at first felt like hoops, but eventually turned to hope.”

Newcomer’s Checklist aDon’t Take That First Drink or Drug aMake Plenty of Meetings aCall Sponsor aHang out with People in Recovery aFocus on the Positive aTalk about your Feelings 18 - MARCH-APRIL 2017

aBeware of People, Places, & Things aTake One Day at a Time aAsk Higher Power for Help aStay out of “Your Head” aMove a Muscle, Change a Thought aRead the Literature Contact Step 12 Magazine at 760-898-8354

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MARCH-APRIL 2017 - 19

Life on Main Street

by Morgan Thorpe no more smiles left. I don’t remember, but it may have been you who told me, on a dark and desolate day, to never, ever, ever give up. Someone held a flashlight for me in my deepest, darkest hours. The faces I do not remember, but the hope and kindness lit a lantern deep within me that I now proudly carry to others.

The bright blue sky has been replaced by its distant cousin, grey, and the palm tree silhouettes wave gently in the rain.

It’s a cold day in Huntington Beach, and it will be dark in an hour or so. As I sit in my office on Main Street, I peer out the window to see the nameless passersby.

There is a family getting into their SUV, dad is buckling in his Mini-me version of mom, a tan homeless man is walking on the wet cement with his bare feet, and a group of tourists are window shopping in front of the gift shops.

It’s a simple life here, a good life, and I am happy with where I am and who I have become. I have AA to thank for that.

When I first came into the rooms nearly two and a half years ago, I was broken, I was desperate and I was hopeless. Now, I realize each day is a gift we should not take for granted.

For what tomorrow will bring, I do not know, but I do know I wouldn’t be where I am if it hadn’t been for all of those people who helped me along the way. You may not know it now, but I thank you. Perhaps you were the one who held the door open for me that day when I was too weak to open it myself. Maybe it was you that smiled at me the day I had

I see that, today, God made our hands that so perfectly fit together for a reason. I see that today there is someone and something to live for. You may not know it yet, but perhaps one day as you are walking down Main Street in the rain, I will pause before I open the door for you, or I will smile at you, just as you are about to look away, or maybe you will overhear me telling someone to never give up, keep looking up, do not quit five minutes before the miracle happens.

That’s what we do today because we cannot keep what we have unless we give it away.

“We cannot keep what we have unless we give it away.”

I have a lot to be grateful for today. I may not have all of the material possessions I used to but that is okay because what matters is that I am able to turn around, and share the hope that was so freely given to me.

The bright blue sky fades into darkness as I leave my office.

I smile as I look up at the stars. My times have changed, I think to myself, my it is a beautiful world I say softly aloud.

I am filled with gratitude for the kindness of others over the years. As I walked to my car a stranger passes by, we smile at each other just as we are about to look away. And after a brief moment I finally understand; God has been here on Main Street all along.

Recovering Couples Anonymous 12-Step Program for Couples Recovering from Dysfunctional Patterns of Communication www.Recovering-Couples.org 20 - MARCH-APRIL 2017

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20 IMPORTANT Self-Assessment QUESTIONS For You or a Loved One

One of the oldest and most time tested dependency evaluation tools for chemical dependency has its origins from the Johnson Institute of Minneapolis. Many variations exist, but the basic questions are as follows: 1. Has anyone ever suggested you quit or cut back on your drug/alcohol use? Y / N 2. Has drinking or using affected your reputation? Y / N 3. Have you made promises to control your drinking or using and then broken them? Y / N 4. Have you ever switched to different drinks or drugs or changed your using pattern in an effort to control or reduce your consumption? Y / N 5. Have you ever gotten into financial, legal, or relationship difficulties due to drinking or using? Y / N 6. Have you ever lost time from work because of drinking or using? Y / N 7. Have you ever sneaked or hidden your use? Y / N 8. On occasion, do you feel uncomfortable if alcohol or your drug is not available? Y / N 9. Do you continue drinking or using when friends or family suggest you have had enough? Y / N 10. Have you ever felt guilty or ashamed about your drinking or using or what you did while under the influence? Y / N 11. Has your efficiency decreased as a result of your drinking or using? Y / N 12. When using or drinking, do you neglect to eat properly?

Y/N 13. Do you use or drink alone? Y / N 14. Do you use or drink more than usual when under pressure, angry, or depressed? Y / N 15. Are you able to drink or use more now without feeling it, compared to when you first started using? Y / N 16. Have you lost interest in other activities or noticed a decrease in your ambition as a result of your drinking or using? Y / N 17. Have you had the shakes or tremors following heavy drinking or using or not using for a period of time Y/ N 18. Do you want to drink or use at a particular time each day?

Y/N 19. Do you go on and off the wagon? Y / N 20. Is drinking or using jeopardizing your job? Y / N Three or more “yes� answers suggest that you should more closely evaluate your drug and or alcohol use. Call for help today!

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MARCH-APRIL 2017 - 21

UNLOCKED For Life

with

Dan Sanfellipo

Half Measures When I want something, I want it all. I’m not going to be happy with just some of it or half of it, I won’t rest until I have it all! It was like that with my drinking and using, and it’s like that in my recovery.

I got nothing when I drank just half a beer, or half a shot.

I didn’t get what I was looking for doing half a line, or half an issue. I didn’t risk going to jail for half a robbery.

And half an orgasm … never! What’s the point? No, I am never satisfied with half of anything. Half measures just don’t accomplish the goal whether the goal is to get high, get rich, get even, or get happy.

When I decided enough was enough, and walked through the doors of recovery, I initially sat in my seat and held back. I held back my truth and my white-flag.

I held on to my old ideas and looked at the unfamiliar faces of serenity, peace, and joy with apprehension and wondered why my reflection never changed. Bitterness, anger, fear, and failure kept looking back at me when I brushed my teeth or combed my hair. But going to the meetings wasn’t enough. My half-measures were availing me nothing.

I’d heard the words many times, but when I actually listened with my heart, I realized I needed to give one hundred percent of my effort the same way I did in my active addictions. I needed to break away from my old way of thinking and behaving. I needed to surrender fully

to the program that was clearly working for others. They may not have been just like me, but they were fighting the same demons. I needed to fight them too, with the same level of intensity that I had been competing for medals in Jiu Jitsu.

My Grandma used to say, “get all the way in, or all the way out. Staying in the middle gets you no where.” I think the level of desire will drive the level of commitment. If I really wanted to get high … nothing would stop me. I wouldn’t just sorta look for a connect, and ask him if I could have just a half a hit. No, if I wanted to get high, I would hunt the connect down and demand all he had.

Today, I sincerely want recovery. I want the promises that this program offers. I want it bad. I have to chase down my sponsor, and take all the tools he can give me with the same vigor I chased down the connect. Rather than sitting around waiting for the meeting to end, I engage. And it works.

In my job, my relationships, my training and my recovery, half measures avail me nothing. I give one hundred percent and am rewarded with the promises. I know a new freedom and a new happiness. I don’t regret the past nor do I wish to shut the door on it. I comprehend the word serenity and I know peace. I have been way down on the scale of despair and I use that experience to help others. Uselessness and self pity rarely rear their ugly heads and I have a genuine interest in helping others without self-serving motives. My attitude is grateful and my judgment is unclouded. When half-measures look like a good idea, God does for me what I cannot do for myself.

Today, when I brush my teeth and comb my hair, the reflection in the mirror is fresh and alive. Full measures lead to results. I am satisfied, serene, and content. I have a healthy self-esteem and I give back freely. If you’re struggling with half measures, double your efforts. Two halves do make a whole—and that’s all it takes.

Written by K.VanDenBerg based on interviews with D. Sanfellipo © Dan Sanfellipo received his education in the California State Penal system from the age of 13. A trauma survivor, author of the upcoming book “Unlocked for Life” and founder of support and coaching program of the same name, Dan is a practicing member of twelve-step recovery and an international competitor in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. Dan has dedicated his energy, experience, strength and hope to helping men and women find lasting freedom—from poverty, restriction, stigma, addiction, despair and prison. Dan can be reached at Dan@unlockedforlife.com

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MARCH-APRIL 2017 - 23

Everything Triggers Something

By Lori Nelson

A smell, a song, a flock of birds above … everything assaults our sense memories, and that can be good or bad.

The deja vu feeling that comes with a new friend, the chill that runs up your spine in the darkness of a movie theater, the taste sensations that shimmy across your tongue when you bite into a juicy sweet treat—all these and more trigger something primordial that we can’t explain to anyone else, so why try?

Everything triggers something. And sometimes something triggers nothing, but triggers wait for us. They do push-ups while we coast blissfully through our days, not expecting any abnormalities, simply being and doing, when BAM! A trigger descends down the mental neurons that take us from what we were doing or thinking, to what we now wonder about.

Overthinking can cause sadness. We know this, but we wonder why did this happen or that happen? What changed in an instant? What were we thinking when we started thinking about something else? How did we get from here to there?

In our minds everything makes sense at the same time that nothing makes sense.

“Save yourself, so you can serve others.”

We’ve conquered our battles. So we think ….

Then, it happens. Afterward we spend an inordinate amount of time trying to figure out why it happened. We retrace the memory, we fight the urges, and sometimes, yes, sometimes it’s even a good trigger. (Especially the food!)

Being an uncomfortable human being is the norm. Just trying to fit in and be accepted is the age-old riddle. If we allow our triggers to consume us and take us away from the moment at hand, that can lead us to a devastating shame spiral where we resort to behaviors from which we’ve tried so desperately to distance ourselves.

The problem is self-focus. When focused inward, analyzing and over-analyzing, we lose perspective. It’s a similar trait to “being shy.” Shy people are simply too focused on what other people will think about them, without realizing that others are also self-focused, and probably not thinking about anyone else as much as others think they may be. It’s another kind of spiral. One that feeds on itself.

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There are more answers than one. But a good choice is to focus outward. Focus on what’s next. Focus on the other person or people in the room. Focus forward. It is better to be interested than interesting.

Before you know it, you’re not obsessing anymore. The trigger rests. (Still waiting in the wings, you know … but rests, nonetheless—for now.) Serving outward in the form of attention ahead and for others gets you out of your own head.

It helps. It means the difference between a trigger that leads us down a dark path, or a trigger that trails away for another day.

Life lessons are not easy. Sometimes the tests come first and that’s not fair. But fair is not part of the equation in life. Life is like a big buffet. Some of the choices are not for you. Some of the choices that are for you may get passed over in your pursuit of perfect. Next time around, you’ll know better.

Serve yourself first, then you can serve others better. Just like the air mask in a troubled airplane. The instructions are not easy to follow or understand. Save yourself, so you can serve others.

And do relish the right triggers; the ones that take you for a walk, send you to your photo album to remember lovely occasions, spark a memory of a long-lost love, allow the sun to blaze through long days. The scent of a flower, the breath from a new puppy, the banana split (with double cherries on top), the smile of a stranger.

Everything triggers something. © Lori Nelson is an author, speaker, educator, and an international “edutainer” aboard cruise ships. She occasionally blogs at anotherloristory. blogspot.com. Find Lori on Facebook. Torture: Broken Foot, Shattered Soul, is available on Amazon, or email Lori at anotherloristory@gmail. com. Lori lives in Atlanta, Georgia.

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Dear Petra...

Expert answers to your questions about Hep-C and Addiction

More Info on Ravidasvir?

Kolkata, India Dear Petra: I am about to start a clinical trial on Sofobuvir plus Ravidasvir sponsored by Drugs for Neglected Diseases Initiative. I haven’t heard of Ravidasvir before. If you know anything about it, I would love to know what I am taking, and are there any side effects? Thank you!

Dear Blessed: Ravidasvir has been introduced to the market to effectively eradicate HCV in Egypt (the highest effected population in the world) at a highly affordable cost; ravidasvir combined with sofosbuvir is a promising once daily oral treatment shows high sustained virologic response rates in Egyptian HCV Genotype 4 patients. Treatment is generally safe and well-tolerated. There is one serious adverse event considered possibly related to study drugs, transient symptomatic bradycardia (slow heartbeat), which is noted as a rare side-effect of the sofosbuvir. You are so blessed to be receiving this trial!

What Is Social Anxiety?

Fort Worth, Texas Dear Petra: I am pretty sure what I am suffering is what they call social anxiety? I am literally scared to death to leave my house. It’s becoming a problem as it’s getting worse lately.

Any ideas?

Dear Scared: Social anxiety disorder is when you are excessively afraid of being judged, making mistakes or being embarrassed in social situations. It is a very real fear but you have no reasoning behind why you are as “scared to death” as you are. It can affect your daily life where you avoid social situations at all cost. When you do have to face social situations you may even suffer panic attacks. Your best bet is to get a therapist who practices what we term as “cognitive behaviour,” to help you Change Your Thinking...Change Your World©. A faster way is hypnotherapy, which creates permanent change in less time. Good luck to you, and happy future socializing!

Hepatitis B … HBeAg … what is that?

Fort Saskatchewan, Alberta Dear Petra: I did a Hep A & B test to see if I ever finished the vaccinations for it ( I cannot remember it was so long ago).

Anyways, I just went and got the tests, but there is one test Hepatitis B (HBE Ac) with a level of 1.52. Is there anyway you have any connections with knowing what that means?

Dear HBe.Ag?: HBeAg and anti-HBe: HBeAg is the hepatitis B envelope antigen, and anti-HBe are the antibodies produced against this antigen. If HBeAg is detectable in

26 - MARCH-APRIL 2017

a blood sample, this means that the virus is still active in the liver (and can be transmitted to others). If HBeAg is negative and anti-HBe is positive, this generally means that the virus is inactive. However, this is not always the case.

Some people with chronic hepatitis—especially those who have been infected with HBV for many years—may have what is known as a precore or core variant mutated form of HBV. This can cause HBeAg to be negative and anti-HBe to be positive, even though the virus is still active in the liver.

Techy explanation, but I hope this helps!

Withdrawals…

Washington, DC Dear Petra: I have been an active heroin and oxycodone user for seven years. I keep hearing about the withdrawals, which is making me think twice about quitting. Do you have any good advice that will sway me to quit? I really do want to.

Dear Withdrawal Fear: Depending on your physical health and age, be aware that some drug withdrawals are severe enough to cause your heart and breathing to stop, so there should always be a medical professional helping you. Your doctor can help you by tapering you off first, but know that this requires a ton of self-discipline and determination, to prevent relapse. The safest way to kick opiates is to go to a full detox facility, so they can monitor you around the clock, and you will not be as inclined to go and use just to kill the withdrawal pain. But listen, if I can do it, YOU can do it.

Nothing worthwhile is ever easy. I encourage you to give it your all!

Hep C … When Did It Begin?

Akron, Ohio Dear Petra: How long has Hepatitis C been going around for? I just heard about it recently and am curious.

Dear Curious: Hepatitis C was first named in 1989 by Dr. Michael Houghton and his team. Prior to that date, it was called Non A, or Non B hepatitis. It is important to note here, that blood transfusions prior to 1992 were more than likely infected with the blood to blood disease. I hope this helps. © 2016 Petra aka Petrabilities is a Mental Health Counselor, Clinical Hypnotherapist, Card Reader, Speaker, Author and CEO of #HepCGI . Being an expert in her field and specializing in addictions, Petra is here to answer all your questions and concerns. Please send your questions anonymously via the contact form at www.Petrabilities.com or http://hepcgi.wix.com/hepcgi

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The following book reviews are honest IMPRESSIONS of these newly released titles.

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These are not “paid” reviews.

Do you have any recommendations for books about recovery? Get in touch! email: editor@step12magazine.com

Fundamentals of LGBT Substance Use Disorders

by Michael Shelton

Shelton has conducted a probing investigation into the minority stress, aggression and trauma the LGBT community is perpetually challenged with, which all too often leads to substance abuse. Fundamentals of LGBT Substance Abuse Disorders covers a vast range of topics including teenagers, the elderly, families, justice issues, and LGBT substance abuse in rural areas, and emphasizes the need for affirmative therapeutic practices.

It’s a comprehensive resource designed to assist counselors, therapists and professionals working in the addiction and recovery field to understand fundamental issues faced by the LGBT community in order to better counsel lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender substance abusers.

Face Your Addiction and Save Your Life

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SUBSTANCE ABUSE TREATMENT La Ventana’s approach to substance abuse treatment is holistic, individually tailored, and grounded in evidence-based research. Our multidisciplinary team expertly craft treatment plans that include psychiatric and medical care; individual, family, and group psychotherapy. Our program meets the client and their family where they are at: we formulate treatment plans to focus on the individual’s needs, beliefs, and underlying causes of the disease throughout all levels of care. And yes, La Ventana accepts most major insurance.

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Dr. Sunder’s knowledge on the subject of addiction knows no limits.

His study of the addictive mind and the pathology of addiction is explained in simple language so that everyone is able to better understand this incredibly complex disease. This book is a must read for anyone suffering from addiction, and the people who love them. By focusing on addiction as a disease, rather than a life choice, Sunder’s book leaves little room for unkind judgments and moralistic opinions. The book takes an in-depth look at the physiological aspects of addiction, while eradicating the attached stigmas, and outlines an integrated approach to treatment and the prevention of relapse. With its easy-toread overview, this is a great introductory book for anybody who is dealing with addiction.

MARCH-APRIL 2017 - 27

ADVERTORIAL

by Staff Writer Just one of the success stories emerging from Lighthouse Treatment is Charles C. who has been clean/sober since December 2011. Charles currently works as a substance abuse counselor in Orange County, and is passionate about helping others on their road to recovery. This is Charles’s story: “While I was active in my addiction I felt completely lost, alone and afraid. I used drugs and alcohol to mask the feelings. After I’d smoke the first gram of meth and downed a single shot of vodka, I’d get an amazing rush. I remember the feeling clearly—I’d be on top of the world.

Once the high really set in, my mind went fast and upbeat. It felt like one long ten year day, time just passed by. I was hooked. Drugs were slowly destroying my life; I knew something had to change.

When I got to the doors of the Lighthouse I felt something inside me that I had never felt before.

Everyone was extremely welcoming and kind—they talked to me and most importantly they understood what I was going through. That was something I had not felt in a very long time.

“While I was active in my addiction I felt completely lost, alone and afraid.”

My experience at the Lighthouse is something no one can ever take away from me. I finally had a place I could call home. It was like having a new family.

The staff and the friends I met there really took the time to reach out to me and that meant everything.

I learned there were so many tools I could use to help beat my addiction and live life on life’s terms.

I realized, after the drugs and alcohol were gone, there were still some behaviors that needed to be modified and The Lighthouse showed me how.

Today, I have a strong foundation and a fellowship with other Lighthouse alumni. They are my family and I can always call on them whenever I need support and guidance. I became someone I can be proud of.

After five years of sobriety, I can say that I’m finally happy with who I am. I continue to grow and contribute to society in a meaningful way by getting beyond myself. I went back to school to become a substance abuse counselor and began motivational speaking at treatment centers all over southern

28 - MARCH-APRIL 2017

California. I feel truly blessed and I owe everything to my foundation, the bedrock I built while at the Anaheim Lighthouse.”

Lighthouse Treatment Center is laid out like a small self-sustaining neighborhood. They accept almost every type of health insurance because they’ve taken the time and expense to secure licenses and accreditation for a wide variety of treatment modalities.

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The graduates of Lighthouse Treatment come back and offer hope to new clients by sharing their successes and struggles with life on life’s terms.

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MARCH-APRIL 2017 - 29

The Student’s Perspective

by Judy Redman, Phd

I still love my recovery and I am grateful that I haven’t for a moment forgotten that I owe my life to it! I am convinced that had I not learned the importance of being of service early in recovery that I would not have been able to stay clean and sober. After eighteen years of recovery I am so blessed to be able to work at a job where I truly feel as if I am being of service to the Addiction Community. My job allows me the privilege to teach amazing people to become professionals in the field of addiction. Not only do I get to watch their transformation from student to professional, but I get to see and hear the stories of what they do once they graduate and become Substance Use Disorder Counselors. Having taught for fourteen years at InterCoast Colleges, you can imagine the accumulation of stories I’ve been blessed to hear on the topic of “Being of Service.”

I wish everyone had the opportunity to witness the faces of those students who come to me from their clinical sites ecstatic because they were able to effectively intervene and block an ATA or AMA (a patient leaving against treatment or medical advice). I look at their eyes, bright with excitement, as they tell the story of how they were able to say just the right thing, at the right time, to keep a patient from leaving treatment. The excitement that they display because they were able to “be of service” to another human being is joyful to watch.

Substance Use Disorder Counselors do what they do because they want to be of service. Many times students will come into the profession with the ideology that they want to give back because of what someone has done to help them. They want to help, and help they do. This week, one of my students wrote about their experience on a detox ward of the hospital.

The compassion that this student was able to provide literally kept a patient from leaving. The patient was miserable, but my student remained kind and showed the patient compassion.

To me working on the detox ward is analogous to working on a burn unit; the difference is the burns of the addict are on the inside. It takes a great level of compassion to be there.

So I ask my beautiful bright young students to help me write this article for Step 12 Magazine because I wanted to see what “service” looked like from their perspective. Of course their incredible collective minds once again delighted me. Service said one is “The Sun shining on the Earth never asking for anything in return.” Several of them said if they could just help one person their education would have been worth it. It was in collective agreement that their educational endeavors and goals were because they wanted to help people.

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The picture attached to this article was drawn by Marco, a student at the West Covina Campus. This was his contribution to the article and his way of being of service. I include it here because there are many ways to be of service. Sometimes creating something and presenting it to an attended audience is a great service. Other times the simple act of listening to someone who needs to be heard is the greatest gift of service that anyone can give. Being of service has many definitions and an extraordinary amount of intended goals.

Some of the agreed upon definitions of “Being of Service” from the student’s perspective included: Being of service is a shortcut to happiness.

A life of service is a life filled with purpose.

No effort to make conditions better for any form of life goes without reward.

Acts of compassion are acts of being of service.

Being of service understands that there is no piece of trash too small that it cannot be picked up and placed in the proper receptacle.

I would like to thank the InterCoast College AOD Counseling Studies Students at the West Covina Campus for the collaborative effort, and for being of service writing this article. A special thank you goes to Marco for his heartfelt artwork.

Dr. Judy Redman is a leading proponent of recovery. She has dedicated much of her personal and professional life to the betterment of the recovering community.

She began her career as a Certified Substance Abuse Counselor in 2000. She began teaching AOD Counseling Studies in 2004 and is currently the Director of Education for New Creation College, Costa Mesa. Currently, Dr. Redman is completing her Dissertation; Motivational Interviewing’s Impact on Addiction Counselors.

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MARCH-APRIL 2017 - 31

By Carrie T. Ewing There is really only one question to ask anyone who would like to receive Reiki healing: Do you believe there is infinite light and love in the universe?

Reiki energy is known to heal on all levels physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

Over the years, I have been humbled by the healing power of Reiki when dealing with addiction. Ultimately, most people healed by Reiki energy are those who found the courage it takes to do the hard self-work and learn to selflove.

Throughout the ten years I have been a Reiki Master, I have had the honor of giving Reiki to a few thousand people, animals, and Mother Earth. I have seen first-hand how the healing power of Reiki has helped recipients of the healing energy.

I give Reiki healing energy freely because I never want anyone to think they cannot ask for healing energy if they don’t have money to pay for good health. This is my special way of being of service to others. I have always been interested in healing. As a child I wanted to be a nurse.

I feel that part of my life’s path has placed me into the lives of people who are or have been addicts or other difficulties with pain. Throughout my life’s journey I have been surrounded by people in pain. So many people I know are suffering from some form of pain. Is this coincidence or synchronicity?

Soon after Ron and I married, he was involved in a traumatic accident at work which left him with chronic pain. Is this the “life path” we chose together? Since then, there have been other accidents, but my husband is still mobile in spite of his chronic pain because of regular Reiki sessions.

Reiki has taught me to see even the smallest of miracles. There are times when I am sending healing energy to someone, I receive messages for that person. It could be just an image, a word, a scent, or a thought. I have delivered some really odd message to the individuals that are receiving energy. There is no ego involved with Reiki healing. Only intent. And the intent is to heal.

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Some of the people I have met over the years were able to find sobriety because of the healing Reiki energy they received. Some individuals accepted Reiki healing on a daily basis for a whole month. There have been other people along the way who were also inspired to become Reiki Masters.

I also have had the honor of sending Reiki energy to a few souls who were ready to leave this world. I was a facilitator that helped a man’s heart valve start working again for a little while.

Since then, I have become more open to receiving messages from the other side. I have also found grace in Reiki, and was fortunate enough to be able to help my mom cross over peacefully by giving her Reiki during the last days of her life. Reiki truly moves me. Sometimes I am privileged enough to pass on messages from those souls too.

I believe Reiki can heal what needs to be healed. Ultimately we all have to do self-work to heal our wounds. Reiki helps magnify the positive energy around us so we can move forward in a positive way.

On May 20, 2006 I received my Certificate of completion to be a Reiki Master Practitioner. I also received attunements at this time which raised my energy vibrations on this plane of existence. Those attunements opened up the line of communication between me and the highest light and love of the universe. This includes my Holy Spirit guide. Reiki Masters are facilitators—or conduits if you will—for the energy from the light and love of the universe. We do not heal the individual, the energy that comes from the light and love of the universe through the individuals own self will does the healing.

Carrie Ewing became a Reiki Master Practitioner in May 2006 and is currently working on obtaining her Reiki Master Teacher Certification. For a free Reiki healing, she can be contacted at www.facebook.com/carrie.t.ewing and https:// griefandforgiveness.wordpress.com.

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MARCH-APRIL 2017 - 33

BECOME A CERTIFIED ALCOHOL & DRUG COUNSELOR My Journey My journey began in a substance abuse treatment facility. After going through rehab and being introduced to the 12 steps in 1985, I was invited back by the treatment center I had completed to be their first Behavioral Technician. I didn’t have any formal education or training to help other alcoholics and addicts recover. What I had to offer was my strength, hope and experience. I loved helping others, but it wasn’t enough.

In order to grow in the field & advance my career, I had to go back to school.

I needed a specific education to have the positive impact on others that I really wanted.

ATI was created to offer others an affordable, efficient and accommodating avenue to increase their effectiveness in the field of addiction treatment and open the door for employment opportunities.

I have worked nearly every position in a treatment center – from an entry level Behavioral Technician to the Executive Director of a 150 bed facility. During my 30 years in the field, I feel good about the work I’ve done helping others get their lives into a better space.

If you aspire to help others, make the word a better place, and earn more money in a field you are passionate about, ATI was created with you in mind. Call us today and let us surprise you with how simple it can be to take the next step.

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Solution on Page 64

Puzzles Across

4. An ailment that requires diagnosis and treatment.

6. Olive Oyl’s sailor boyfriend who loves spinach!

8. An act of helpful activity.

9. We have a _______ malady.

11. April __________ bring May flowers.

13. A person who puts out fires ________ (two words).

15. Two pieces of bread filled with peanut butter & jelly.

18. Quieting of the mind.

19. Someone who tends to the vegetables and flowers.

20. A person who nurtures and guides the growth and development of a child.

21. A person who disposes of refuse and waste into landfills or recycling plants.

22. Financially insolvent, or morally ______.

24. Someone who grows crops.

36 - MARCH-APRIL 2017

Down

1. Half__________ avail us nothing.

2. A person who shares information and knowledge with another, often in a classroom.

3. A person who provides food products for purchase in a store.

5. A 12 Step practitioner sharing experience strength and hope with someone newer to the program than themselves.

7. April showers bring May __________.

10. A person upholding laws for the greater good.

12. Someone who listens and gives direction to someone who is struggling emotionally.

14. “Life on Main Street” author, Morgan ___________ 16. Sue Jackson’s article, “The Seventh Reality: Profound___________” 17. Protection from the rain or the sunshine.

23. Caregiver who works closely with doctors in offices and hospitals.

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Solution on Page 64

ACTOR APRIL ARTIST BAKER BANKER BUILDER COUNSELOR CROSSING DIETICIAN DOCTOR EASTER FIGHTER FIRE FRIEND GARDENER GROCER GUARD HOUSEKEEPER MARCH MUSICIAN NURSE OFFICER PARENT POLICE POSTMAN REWARD SERVICE SHAMROCK SPONSOR TEACHER TEAMMATE THERAPIST WRITER

Spot the 16 differences in these pictures Solution on Page 64

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MARCH-APRIL 2017 - 37

The Crucial Interplay Between Addiction And Nutrition

by Keerthy Sunder, MD and Jeffrey Bohnen, BSc

When defining addiction, it is imperative to understand that this disease involves devastating biochemical disruptions, as opposed to being merely psychological in nature. Given that nutrition also plays a vital role in biochemical functions, the line between addiction and nutrition often blurs for those in recovery.

“Okay, but drugs seem much more powerful than food. How can what I eat have a significant impact on my recovery?

Shouldn’t I focus on just staying sober and worry about my diet later?”

A study conducted at the University of Texas compared alcoholics in a typical AA treatment program (28 days in treatment) with alcoholics undergoing the same program with an added nutritional component, which consisted of dietary changes, vitamin and mineral supplementation, and nutrition education. Six months after discharge, 81% of the subjects who received nutritional training were sober, in comparison to 38% of the control group.

“Wow… so proper nutrition more than doubled recovery rates. How can something as simple as eating right have such dramatic effects?”

Rather than overload you with a bunch of dense explanations, we’re going to be covering this topic in a series of five articles.

Our goal is to keep each segment short and simple, giving you the tools you need to transform your body and mind in as little time as possible. After providing you with a concise overview of key facts pertaining to the interplay between addiction and nutrition, we’ll explain the science behind four life-changing supplements: Vitamin D, Fish Oil, Turmeric, and Ashwagandha.

Dr. Keerthy Sunder, MD is an accomplished Physician with extensive experience as a clinician, researcher, administrator, teacher, lecturer and writer. In Feb 2013, he was invited to join the Editorial Team of the prestigious Journal of Addiction Therapy and Research. He is Board Certified in Psychiatry and Addiction Medicine. Dr. Sunder currently serves as Medical Director for the Mind & Body Treatment and Research Institute and Brisas IOP in Riverside, California and Principal Investigator for CNS Clinical Trials at Clinical Innovations in Riverside, California. You can follow Dr. Sunder at www. asoundmindandbody.com and mbtrins.com or reach him at DrKeerthy@mbtrins.com

38 - MARCH-APRIL 2017

“Sounds interesting… I’m ready for the crash course.”

Great! Let’s start by addressing three common misconceptions regarding addiction and nutrition.

Myth #1: Addiction may cause poor nutrition, but the opposite–that poor nutrition may cause addiction–is not true.

The causal arrow between addiction and poor nutrition actually points both ways. Addiction promotes poor nutrition by reducing the body’s capacity to absorb and process nutrients. In turn, this can create a vicious cycle as poor nutrition can ignite cravings and reduce willpower. Research showed that vitamin-deficient rats were more likely to choose alcohol over water. However, these rats returned to preferring water upon receiving vitamin supplementation.

Myth #2: “Mind over matter” is all that matters. As long as your head is in the right place, there’s no need to worry about what you eat.

It’s important to remember that our mind is a product of the brain (biological matter), which is a product of what we eat. Moreover, our brain’s messengers, known as neurotransmitters, are derived from our diet. Make sure to give your brain the support it needs by including lean sources of protein (such as organic chicken breast or wild-caught fish) and healthy sources of essential fatty acids (such as high-quality fish oil or cold-pressed olive oil) in your diet.

These nutrients are vital for the synthesis of our brain’s mood regulators.

Myth #3: Addiction and nutrition are separate issues and should be treated as such.

Our experiences in treating addiction and preventing relapse have taught us that addiction and nutrition are rarely, if ever, isolated issues. Addiction often coincides with nutritional issues, including hypoglycemia, adrenal fatigue, and leaky gut syndrome. Remember, however, that the causal arrow points both ways! Research has shown that treating the nutritional issues related to addiction dramatically improves the likelihood of recovery.

... continued on page 35

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... continued from page 34 “So what can I do today to get started?”

All of this information may seem overwhelming. Let’s start with one simple shift. This month, focus on keeping your blood sugar at a steady level. This means that you should eat plenty of vegetables, organic meat or eggs, raw nuts, and healthy fats (such as cold-pressed olive oil or non-hydrogenated coconut oil), while avoiding simple carbohydrates (such as white bread, sweets, and processed foods). Your new food pyramid should look something like this:

Although this may be challenging at first, take note of how you feel as the month progresses. If you have any questions, don’t hesitate to reach out to us on www.mindandbodytreatment. com. In the next issue, we’ll dive into a series of four lifechanging supplements!

TIPS TO STAY SOBER ON MARCH 17 1. Go out with friends you trust: The foundation of any twelve-step program is finding support and helping other alcoholics.

2. Agree to be a designated driver: Agreeing ahead of time to be a designated driver gives you the perfect excuse if people ask why you aren’t drinking.

3. Try doing something else that’s Irish: There’s Irish music and Irish dancing and also a whole world of fabulous Irish cuisine to sample.

4. Always have an out: If feel like you might take a drink, come up with a reason to leave, even if you have to lie.

5. Find a sober St. Patrick’s Day party: Most major cities host a sober party for the recovery community in the area.

6. Don’t go out: This is kind of the most obvious way to stay sober and safe on St. Patrick’s day.

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MARCH-APRIL 2017 - 39

Realities of the Addicted Family

by Susan Jackson, LMFT

The Seventh Reality:

Profound Coherence Profound Coherence, the final reality!

This is the solution reality. If you have been reading about the realities of the family scrimmage in the previous issues, hopefully, you understand the profound impact the first six realities have on the addictive family. From pathos, emotional suffering, through all the stages of the wrath experience, you understand that a deep wounding has occurred. Family treatment takes much more than education on the disease concept of addiction and the twelve steps. It will take a strong commitment and a warrior’s courage to process through all the wounding the family scrimmage inflicted. That is not drama, that is reality.

According to the Webster’s dictionary coherence is defined as, “quality of forming a unified whole” or “… parts of something fit together in a natural or reasonable way”. The only unifying quality of the addictive family is the scrimmage.

The family is unified in the abstruse reality, the secrets own secrets that each family member keeps guarded. Mounting discouragement leads to the reality of grave incongruence within the individual self.

What alcohol and drugs do to the individual in body, mind and spirit, is similar to what it does to the family as a whole.

Family members become intoxicated with pain, shame and denial. They too suffer from the ravages of alcohol and drugs, that is the family scrimmage The ultimate goal, then, is for the addictive family to heal from the six realities and find coherence, a family unified and whole in a natural and reasonable way! Accomplishment of this reality, the reality of coherence, would truly be profound!

The exposure of the family secrets will allow for the formation of a unified family because all the parts of the family can heal and fit together. For the addictive family, coherence means the scrimmage behaviors of each family member have changed significantly into recovery behaviors of rigorous honesty.

This is important because anyone who has lived with and endured the realities of addiction, knows there is a deep desire for the family scrimmage to cease. Individuals suffering from the family scrimmage almost always cling to the hope that their emotional pain will stop and the secrets will finally be revealed. In the past, attempts to find a solution may have been pursued, found and implemented. However, with those solutions, after a certain amount of time, everyone in the family slowly slipped back into old behavior because the six realities remained unresolved.

Resolving the realities is critical to the family healing. Real family treatment will include identifying the family’s pathos

40 - MARCH-APRIL 2017

and exposing most or all of the family secrets by confronting the abstruse, the buried shame.

This really will take the warriors courage within.

Profound coherence is different from the other realities. By the time this seventh reality is achieved the pain and suffering which was caused by the six realities has been resolved. The grave incongruence of the emotional, spiritual, cognitive selves is now congruent. The wrath experience which included anger, rage and wrath, have been reduced to appropriate responses.

Once the realities are resolved the addictive family is able to enjoy new realities, the realities of the recovering family.

Profound coherence removes the toxic shame and reaffirms that you do not have to be in hiding or be superhuman. Change will take a dedicated commitment to daily living in the reality of profound coherence. It will take daily personal selfreflection. It will take sorting out the “whatever” presented to us in the moments of each day. It takes more than courage, it takes honesty and surrender to a power greater than ourselves.

© Susan Jackson is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, author, and Clinical Director for New Creation Healthcare Foundation/His House. Susan has contributed to the field of addiction, as distinguished Clinician, Clinical Supervisor, Director, and Author for over 28 years. She began her career working for the City of Chino, as a Gang Interventionist, Domestic Violence Counselor, and Prevention Specialist. Susan’s dedication and experience working with adolescents with substance use disorders, and their afflicted families, led her to Loma Linda University Behavioral Medicine Center, where she became the Family Therapist on the Chemical Dependency Unit.

Contact Step 12 Magazine at 760-898-8354

Naranon Family Groups http://www.nar-anon.org/ Alanon Family Groups http://al-anon.org/ CODA for Co-dependents http://coda.org/ NIDA (National Institute on Drug Abuse) http://www.drugabuse.gov/ Drugfree.org http://www.drugfree.org/

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Ask The Judge (answers for teens about the law) http://www.askthejudge.info/ TheFix.com https://www.thefix.com/ Addiction Inbox http://addiction-dirkh.blogspot.com/ Pathway to Prevention (teen use and abuse stops here) http://www.pathwaytoprevention.org/ CRAFT (Community Reinforcement and Family Training) https://www.robertjmeyersphd.com/index.html GRASP (Grief support for those who have lost someone to addiction) http://grasphelp.org/ Camp Mariposa (For children who have addiction in the family) http://www.moyerfoundation.org/campmariposa Recovery Research Institute http://www.recoveryanswers.org/ The McAlister Institute (low cost/no cost treatment services) http://www.mcalisterinc.org/ Resource List from Denise Krochta at Addicts Family Lifeline, Inc.

MARCH-APRIL 2017 - 41

CONTRIBUTIONS FROM OUR

FABULOUS READERS THANK YOU THANK YOU

THANK YOU

Please send submissions to: editor@step12magazine.com. We’d love to hear from you.

Survival Of The Fittest

By Jessica Summer I think God gave mercy on us both.

She had suffered enough, And he brought her to him.

I have been given a second chance.

I have a voice to find, to use.

God has given me strengths, I have buried beneath the surface.

What should only get in the way of self, is me.

Be strong, choose wisely and it will come.

Don’t let outside influence get in your way.

Use the voices that used to bring you down, lift you up.

No one has the power over the actions you take.

Action for change is for you to decide.

To try and make people understand, the decisions that you have made, is a waste of your precious time.

No one can really know another’s understanding.

To believe that we have no limits to understanding Gives us capabilities that are endless.

Everybody has their place in this world, I don’t tell you your place so please don’t tell me mine.

42 - MARCH-APRIL 2017

One More

By Lyn P. Unity Hall, Sun City

One more day, Lord, Give me one more day, To drown my looming anger, Regretful words I had to say.

Give me more hour,Lord, Just one more hour.

I’m running late for living life, Though I’m feeling so empowered.

Give me one more night, Lord, Just one more night, To calm my restlessness, They’re hurling words and picking fights.

One more drink, Lord, Just one more drink, I’ll finish up this bottle, To better clear my head and think.

One more prayer, Lord, Just one more prayer.

On my knees, I’m quivering, I can’t make it up the stairs.

One more try, Lord, Just one more try.

I know you’re so forgiving, A new slate will keep me dry.

Lord, I’ll thank you most tomorrow, When I can pay my bills, While I’m cracked and glued together, With numbing alcohol and pills.

One more word, Lord, Just one more word, do say.

Lying in my bed alone, I heard a loving whisper pass, “Okay.”

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My All

By Tim L.

I put my my all in what I had and lost what I gained worked hard to better myself only to kill my body and soul lost in a world that fluctuates with hope I call myself a man when I can’t even stand looking at myself not in the mirror but where I stand in a world where no one will understand running from demons I really have no chance I thought I have faith and never look me in the face believe that hope is what pushes them away I watch the waves crash against sand so beautiful when you know you’re not alone but if you are alone one thing we should know we have a power within us that keeps keeping on it only works if we let it and have no fear know I’ll make it back in what I write is sincere.

by Ranay Dato

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MARCH-APRIL 2017 - 43

Serve Up Yourself

by Nora Slattery

Supporting others in recovery—the Twelfth Step—is one of the fundamental tenants of Alcoholics Anonymous. Running an AA meeting, taking commitments, being a sponsor are all opportunities to help the AA community thrive. According to AA’s General Service Office there are 140,000 groups in 170 countries. Those amazing numbers are made possible only because hundreds of thousands of individuals commit their time and energy. As a result, those in need can find help and support for their recovery all over the globe.

homeless shelter, with informal groups of neighbors or with established non-profits. There are whole websites devoted volunteering. Whatever the outlet, the most rewarding work will the one that makes the best use of you. Find a service outlet that calls uniquely on your skills and attributes. That can range from computer to cooking skills, being handy with a hammer or tackling hefty moving jobs. Simply having an outgoing personality and willingness to work can be all the qualifications you need to make service a part of your recovery. Finding a skill and putting it to work for others is one of the great life experiences for anyone. For those of us in recovery, it is vital. Serve others and I guarantee you will serve yourself.

Once you start looking for ways to be of service, there is almost no limit to the volunteer opportunities available, usually hidden in plain sight, at your local school, hospital or

Nora Slattery is a professional business and speechwriter. She is a certified Journal to the Self™ instructor, teaching a workshop created by the Center for Journal Therapy.

She is currently working on a memoir in the UCLA Writer’s Program. For workshop information contact: njslattery@gmail.com.

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Beyond AA, how can you be of service to others? That was the question I asked as part of my own recovery. I am writer by trade, which is a rewarding career that combines intellectual curiosity with creativity. But writing is a lonely business and often stressful, which contributed to a downward spiral in my life. Once in recovery I found I was unwilling to let negatives define my craft, so I turned to creative and journal writing, and eventually teaching. As I help others, often young people new to therapeutic writing, I find myself inspired and supported in my journey. I am I not alone in turning a professional skill into a service avocation.

I know a veterinarian who turned her love of animals into a job training service dogs for veterans with PTSD. Another friend, a retired psychologist, advises workers who provide counseling services in immigration camps.

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MARCH-APRIL 2017 - 45

A Life of Service

by Dr. Phyllis and Rev. Carrol Davis

“It is more blessed to give than to receive.” Why? This is probably an expression you have heard most of your life. Is it true? If it is true, why is it true and how does it work?

Service takes our focus off of our own problems and rechannels the energy into something or someone that is bigger than ourselves. Most twelve-step programs ask newcomers to do something to contribute: move the chairs, set up refreshments, greet newcomers. What the newcomers do not usually understand is that service will benefit them more than the people they are serving.

Jesus Christ came to serve; not to be served and He is the Christians’ example of perfect love. “Perfect love casts out fear,” we are told in the scriptures. Mahatma Ghandi, Mother Theresa, Christ, all had this in common: A life of service.

If you are feeling unappreciated, write a note to let someone else know how very special they are to you and what it has meant to have them in your life. Make a list of all of the things you are grateful for. It is very hard to maintain an attitude of oppression and depression when you focus on gratitude.

Spending time in the service of worship with songs and music lifts the worst of spirits. Some say that disease, oppression, depression, fear, and anger, are the result of demonic spiritual attacks. We are not trying to prove nor disprove the theory; however, we have found that listening to Christian music and reading scriptures out loud does change not only our mood, but the mood of others that are listening.

We have a service dog that accompanies us when we do therapy with some clients with learning disabilities. He is deathly afraid of thunder and lighting. We have had him since he was a new puppy and know of no logical reason for the fear, yet in the early morning hours of a thunderstorm, he is nearly inconsolable. Christian music, rescue remedy, and hugs from Mom and Dad, quiet him back to sleep.

“Make a list of all of the things you are grateful for.“

In our own experiences of working a twelve-step program, we have found this phenomenon to be true. If we believe we need more money, we choose to give more away. If we feel lonely and uncared for, we find someone else to pour love and attention into their life. If we feel unneeded and unimportant, we volunteer our time to a worthy cause. The strange thing that happens is that without thinking about our problems or spending any energy worrying about a solution, the problem is either resolved, goes away or is not as important as we first believed.

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Having a pet to care for, a special friend, a volunteer job, or a project that takes care of the needs of others has a healing effect on everyone. This is one of those principles that must be practiced to be believed. Pick one or two suggestions and try them out for thirty days. Mark your calendar when you start and mark your calendar at the end of thirty days. Make a note in your journal at the beginning of the experiment. Write down the problems that are troubling you, your thoughts and feelings, fears and doubts. During the thirty days, if the problem resurfaces, write down your thoughts and put them in a box. We call it a God Box … just a literal way to hand your troubles over to your “Higher Power,” whom we choose to call God. At the end of the thirty days, write down any changes in your life’s circumstances, thoughts, and/or behaviors. If your changes are positive, you might want to pass the exercise along to a friend. We would love to hear from you and how your acts of service changed you. You may find yourself living a life of service and loving every minute. © Rev. Carrol graduated from Furman University, ordained in 1975. Honored in Who’s Who, Dr. Phyllis E. graduated from the Union Institute. Davis & Davis were awarded the Christian Authors Award for “Stop the Violence Seven Stages to Sanctify.” Participants give the book, “Journey of the Soul Cracked Pots and Broken Vessels,” and workshops five star reviews as they journey to resolve challenges of living life in a fallen world. www.thejourneypathwaystohealing.net

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MARCH-APRIL 2017 - 47

Catching the Recovery Wave with

ADVERTORIAL

by Staff Writer

When Darryl “Flea” Virostko checked into Beacon House in 2008, he had some experience with waves.

He was a master at riding monster waves and had built a successful career as a professional surfer.

With three consecutive Maverick Championships, high-dollar sponsors, and an internal pressure to push harder and be better, Flea found himself riding a wave of alcohol and drug abuse that almost wiped him out.

Having hit his rock bottom, Darryl checked into Beacon House in Pacific Grove, California at the “encouragement” of his family and girlfriend.

Like so many people in early recovery, one of the challenges Darryl faced was identifying his Higher Power. His most profound prayers had mostly been to survive and conquer Maverick waves. Those prayers had been answered, and in early recovery he accepted the ocean as his Higher Power—a Power greater than himself.

Experiential treatment wasn’t offered in the treatment of addiction back in the mid 2000’s. But at Beacon House, Darryl was allowed to go surfing with a chaperone once a week. This practice of connecting with his Higher Power regularly, and having a release for his anxious energy, helped Darryl gain focus and reinforced his resolve to stay clean and sober.

Darryl was approached by Beacon to create a Surf and Watersports program for their clients. Beacon House not only recognized the value of experiential therapies, they were willing give him the resources and support to provide their clients with new ways to reconnect with their spirituality and themselves.

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“Most of the clients begin their surf therapy sessions as apprehensive beginners. Everyone is at a different level of physical fitness but it’s not about teaching people how to surf. Some clients hop on for the first time and totally rock it. Others struggle with low self confidence. The main objective is to support people getting out of their comfort zone, and building selfconfidence by doing something they never thought they could.”

The greatest reward for Darryl, “there are one or two [clients] in every group who have a profound spiritual breakthrough. Overcome with tears and emotion, they experience the vast energy of the ocean and soak it in with every salty splash and sea-misted breath. They float on their boards just beyond the breaks and experience a personal connection with their Higher Power whether it is the Ocean, God, or Light. I am allowed to witness these transformations first-hand and it’s an amazing experience.”

The experiential therapy options offered at the Beacon House help to reconnect people with their physical, emotional, and spiritual selves Darryl’s service is helping people get back to what they are passionate about. To replace addiction with healthy passion, whether it’s surfing, fishing, golfing, gardening, painting, writing, or whatever.

As addicts and alcoholics many people lose sight of their purpose and their passion. The experiential therapy options offered at Beacon House help to reconnect people with their physical, emotional, and spiritual selves. “To witness the transformation is a privilege … It’s a natural high unlike any other.

To be healthy on every level makes room for those moments of spiritual bliss—riding the perfect wave, or observing a spiritual experience in someone else.”

Contact Step 12 Magazine at 760-898-8354

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MARCH-APRIL 2017 - 49

Many of them were once atheist or agnostic, but something happened. Undeniable happiness and peace was evident in their lives. Sobriety was not a sacrifice; it was their greatest asset. Their spirituality was working, whereas I alternated from spiritual giant to spiritual guppy, seesawing with the ups and downs of my life.

Clearly, spirituality was the bedrock to long-term sobriety.

Finding what was blocking me was my next concern. I knew it was possible; the look in their eyes gave me hope. Theirs were the eyes of another kind of Lazarus.

by mark masserant My early sobriety was bedeviled by unnecessary struggles and overdue surrenders. Incredibly, even though I was D.O.A. at my first meeting—Defeated on Arrival—willingness and an open mind didn’t come automatically. I always wanted more than I needed; here, I needed a lot more than I wanted. A long, bumpy road lay ahead.

I needed the same foundation they had, but how? A headfull of old God ideas had been gathered; most were clouded by what a child thought he heard, or misconstrued following life’s big hurts. Since then, God and I had a lot of fights—He let me lose them all. That, I later realized, was grace.

As the meeting that night unfolded, from out of the blue an idea surfaced—perhaps a spiritual nudge? While members shared, I sat picturing a blackboard in my mind’s eye. On this imaginary chalkboard I began writing everything I didn’t like about God.

I attended meetings daily, asked for help in the morning and said ‘thanks’ at night; those actions worked—I didn’t pick up the next first drink. When asked how I was doing, the answer was always ‘Fine’; however, my face often told another story.

I was uniquely screwed-up. The dilemma others viewed as a drinking problem was counterbalanced by a sobriety problem that always drove me back to the booze. I couldn’t drink and I couldn’t not-drink. It was the riddle from Hell. My sponsor called it ‘the battle of the bottle’.

My sobriety problem took center stage after alcohol was removed. Questions I wouldn’t ask and problems I couldn’t solve dogged me. My intellect, deeply entangled with my ego, was challenged. Areas of my life I tried to handle without God were failing. It was difficult to accept I needed all the help I could get, yet knew if I kept doing what I was doing, I would keep getting what I was getting. That ticket was punched.

Distressed, I went to my Tuesday night meeting, committed to listening more intently. The answer to the question “Why do you want to be restored to sanity?” was suddenly clear. If I wasn’t restored to sanity, I would be restored to drinking. My case history was punctuated by umpteen attempts to regain control while my life fell apart around me. That was my Third Chapter, too.

When they stressed the main problem of the alcoholic is centered in his mind, I got it. The notion that my own thinking could uproot the faulty reasoning that accelerated my downfall was absurd. Acutely aware I couldn’t fix myself, I was in trouble. I needed a Higher Power, now, or else.

Fortunately, I was in the company of God’s Repo-men.

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After jotting down numerous grievances, I realized it was impossible to uncover them all before the meeting ended. To hasten the process, I determined everything was included, remembered or not. Satisfied, I erased the lengthy list until the slate was clean. My case was closed.

“I’ll learn about God here,” I thought. “These people can show me.”

Hopefully no one noticed, but it’s likely somebody saw that screensaver look on my face during my spiritual housecleaning. Nevertheless, it was a pivotal day in my recovery, ground zero in my relationship with God. An essay

by Bill Wilson likened AA to a spiritual kindergarten, and on an invisible blackboard on a Tuesday night, so it was for me.

This was the power I would rely on to take the Twelve Steps.

Other miracles became beacons on my journey, too; I hold fast to them. They still remind me I’m never alone, even when I fall asleep to that Great Fact when life surrounds me. Years have passed, sitting in that room every Tuesday, remembering a chalkboard that was created by grace.

I ask myself in morning meditation, “Is today a good day to trust God?” Hindsight tells me, “Yes”... With God, I know it’s okay, even when it’s not okay.

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MARCH-APRIL 2017 - 51

A New Freedom And A New Happiness

by Kyczy Hawk

There are few things more inspirational than the look in a newcomer’s eyes when they “get it”; that moment when he/ she understands the incomprehensible demoralization can come to an end. I see it in the rooms when someone shares a story that a newcomer relates to, after the meeting when a sincere conversation changes fear to hope. I have witnessed it in treatment centers and in jails when the listener’s head bobs in a “me too, me too” connection with the speaker. I have seen it sitting in a meeting when a terrified face glances around and softens as the result of a comforting smile. These are all forms of service: the witness, the sharing, adding to the community of the meeting rooms, and going to rehabs and jails. You cannot underestimate the power of each; none more important than another. Each one can be so fulfilling to the person offering this kindness; not the purpose, but it lifts the spirits in a way nothing else can.

Excess gets divided in a specific way according to your region. Our service here is monetary but not required; “there are no dues or fees”. A person will volunteer as treasurer and give regular reports about how the money was distributed.

Hospital and Institution contributions are specific and given to that arm of our recovery group. We can serve in that group.

We can also serve in the regional representation of all groups (intergroup). These positions allow us to see the greater good, organization, and personalities of recovery.

In addition to the meeting by meeting, person to person service that can inspire and enlighten recovery is the service we can provide the meeting structure itself, the region and the good of all your recovery groups. For me this is the Alcoholics Anonymous twelve-step groups: for you it could be another. Serving at the group level from anything from greeter to coffee-maker, from secretary to representative at a regional or national level in any of the organizations that make this miracle work. I have recently been reading the traditions with a sponsee (service to me and to her) and have remembered a lot that I have learned about the “most disorganized organization” that has ever been able to survive.

Now, in 2017, the opportunities to serve now have taken on a broader stage: there are online meetings which need speakers and chairpersons (think not only of pajama days when you don’t want to go out, being on travel or vacation—but those who are bedridden or cannot leave their homes for one reason or another) they, too, now can access meetings online. This is a service. It can be an international communion of people who want to get clean/sober/abstinent and those who have long term recovery and want to share their experience strength and hope in another forum. (www.intherooms.com is one of these sites.) There are closed and open Facebook groups that support recovery and the challenges of relapse prevention.

Posting solutions and positive encouragement is another way to be of service (share the message, not the mess.) Coming from a positive, solution based place begins to retrain your brain to move to the healing and away from remembering and repeating the negative to yourself.

We have specific instructions about how to use the money from the baskets: first being “self supporting through our own contributions”: rent, coffee, and literature are the basics.

“You cannot underestimate the power of service.”

One to one for the benefit of each, person to group for the benefit of your community, person to group for the benefit of all communities, and in a virtual way supporting your recovery by supporting others in theirs is all useful service.

Remember we do this letting go of results, not to force change but to offer “a new freedom and a new happiness”. And the secret of service is that you benefit your own recovery in an inspirational way—giving and expressing gratitude. Namaste.

Kyczy Hawk is in long term recovery and is enthusiastic about her life in sobriety. She is the “secretary” of the “Yoga Recovery” meetings, Sundays 7am PST on In The Rooms ( http://www.intherooms.com/livemeetings/view?meeting_id=144&check=1 ). She is a yoga teacher and author of Yoga and The Twelve Step Path and Life in Bite Sized Morsels. For more yoga tools, visit her website at: http://yogarecovery.com/additional She is aided and amused by her family who keep her busy and humble.

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Contact Step 12 Magazine at 760-898-8354

Alcohol Addiction Alcoholics Anonymous: www.aa.org Secular Sobriety: www.sossobriety.org Women for Sobriety: www.womenforsobriety.org SMART Recovery: www.smartrecovery.org Drug Addiction/Substance Abuse: Narcotics Anonymous: www.na.org NIDA: www.drugabuse.gov Recovery Program Search Engine: www.recovery.org Sex Addiction Sex Addicts Anonymous: saa-recovery.org Sex Addict Help: sexaddicthelp.com/Links/index.htm Healthy Mind: www.healthymind.com/s-index.html Food Addiction Overeaters Anonymous: www.oa.org ACORN: www.foodaddiction.com Food Addicts: www.foodaddicts.org RFA: www.recoveryfromfoodaddiction.org Gambling Addiction: Gambling Anonymous: www.gamblersanonymous.org/ga Problem Gambling: www.problemgambling.com CCPG: www.calpg.org Other Addictions: Internet Addiction www.addictionrecov.org/ Addictions/index.aspx?AID=43 ReStart: www.netaddictionrecovery Support Groups for Family and Friends Al-anon: www.al-anon.org Al-ateen: www.al-anon.alateen.org/for-alateen Adult Children of Addicts: www.adultchildren.org Gam-Anon: www.gam-anon.org Codependency: Forums: http://www.onlinecoda.net/forums.html https://sites.google.com/site/codacall Mental Health Links SAMHSA: www.samhsa.gov

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MARCH-APRIL 2017 - 53

It’s a “We” Program

by Randy Boyd

Before I entered into the world of recovery, the only person I was of service to was myself. In most cases I would only help someone if there were something in it for me. I was a selfserving, selfish, egomaniac with a huge inferiority complex.

However, within a month of entering recovery all of that began to change.

My wife and I were really close to Tom and Mary (fictitious names), and their two children. Together, Tom and I coached our boys in soccer and baseball and, as families, we would spend a lot of time together at Lake Mead. The funny thing about Tom and Mary is that neither of them drank; yet Tom was crazier than I was after I’d had several beers. What was even more baffling to me was that neither Tom nor Mary said anything to me about my drinking. Then again I was never really out of control around the two of them or the kids.

When I decided to check myself into the Betty Ford Center (BFC) for treatment my wife called Mary to let her know what was going on, that is when Mary told Cathy that her and Tom were alumnus from the BFC. Mary assured my wife that she would be there for her as my journey was going to be hard for not only myself, but for my wife as well. For the fifteen years that we had known Tom and Mary prior to my entering treatment, they were being of service in ways I would never have thought of.

They never revealed to my wife or myself they were not only sober but also BFC alumnus. Never did they say anything about our drinking or judge us. As I look back on it now eleven years later, they were demonstrating how it was possible to have fun in life without alcohol.

Tom knew me fairly well, which meant he knew what it was going to take to help me stay sober. I wasn’t a month into treatment when Tom was put in charge of reigniting the BFC alumni picnic. It was May in the Coachella Valley and the temperature was already in the triple digits. Tom called me up and told me, not asked, that I was going to be on the grill for that picnic. I thought no way, it’s going to be 110 degrees and I’m not going to be slaving over a hot barbecue all day. Well, that wasn’t the case. I showed up and did as I was asked, and in doing so I was introduced to the power of service work.

By helping others that day, my self-confidence issues began to fade away. All day people were coming up and talking with me, not to me, and thanking me for being of service. The next year I was asked to take over the picnic and over the next five years that picnic grew from sixty people to over two-hundred people. In doing so, I was able

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to introduce several other men and women to the power and benefit of service work. Our friends Tom and Mary had been the pebble that started the ripple effect of service that would help hundreds if not thousand of people in the last ten plus years.

As for myself, since those early years of recovery, I am still doing a lot of service work. I started by cleaning the ashtrays on the patio of our AA hall, then serving coffee and finally being the secretary of my home group meeting. I would pickup Yvonne, a lady dying of cancer, every morning and take her to and from our AA meeting. Becoming a sponsor was and is one of the greatest gifts I have received. Watching broken men turn their lives around is amazing and gives me such joy.

My greatest sorrow has turned into my greatest joy as a result of service work. For the past nine years I have been a part of a group called “It Happens To Boys.” We speak at conferences, high schools, colleges, and treatment facilities about the sexual abuse of boys and how it affects boys who become men. We bring awareness and educate both survivors and therapist on the prevalence of abuse, who the perpetrators are, and correlation between chemical dependency and sexual abuse.

Currently I am the Celebrate Recovery ministry leader at Destiny Church in Indio, CA among many other things. I could write pages, if not a book on how service work has helped me stay not just sober, but helped me recover and change my life.

Service work is second only to God the reason I remain sober today. For me, being of service is not work—it’s an honor and a privilege. Remember that recovery is a “WE” program, not an “I” program. We need each other—I need you, too.

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ang h W e n Suzan

What a WHANGderful World!

America The Beautiful

I recently returned from Marianne Williamson’s Sister Giant conference in Washington D.C., where the theme was the intersection of spirituality and politics. It was an enlightening, inspiring, energizing weekend, full of incredible speakers and panels that included religious leaders, politicians, journalists, and artists. (See video clips of the conference at: http://www. sistergiant.com)

When Donald Trump was elected President, I went through a plethora of emotions including bewilderment, grief, and anger.

Then I posted this on my social media pages: “In 2011, I had stage four breast cancer and was given six months to live. I decided I was going to reverse the disease. I approached my recovery with love, passion, humor, intelligence, optimism, and action. I had to throw my pride and ego out the window, and I asked for and received help. It took a village. I did tons of research.

I had to drastically change my lifestyle and the way I think. I had to learn some tough life lessons. And I found out who I really am.

I reversed the disease, and I’m now completely cancer-free. I’m healthier and happier than I ever was before I got cancer. It didn’t happen overnight. It was a wild journey. And then it turned into a miracle.

Donald Trump winning the Presidential election is this country’s diagnosis of stage four cancer. It’s a wake-up call. We’ve discovered a giant malignant tumor in the heart of America, and it’s not time to go numb or move away. It’s time to grieve, yes. But not for too long. Because it’s time to rally, step up, focus on our vision for the future, use our gifts, congregate, unify, take effective and strategic action, and remember to breathe. Think globally and act locally. Address the shadows of our own psyches that are being unearthed by this election. Get involved. Speak our truth with grace and dignity. Live by the golden rule. We can create major transformation here. We will have to walk through fire to do so, but we are up to the task. We are giving birth to a new version of humanity. Giving birth is extremely painful, but on the other side

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of it is a beautiful new life. So keep breathing, keep believing, and keep your eye on the dream. I’ll post what I’m doing, and I hope you’ll share what you’re doing to be part of this Love Revolution.

Remember, I don’t just believe in miracles ~ I AM one. The Cubs won the World Series, I reversed stage four cancer, and America now has a great opportunity to become the best version of itself.”

I’m fired up to take action, and I’ve decided to run for some sort of political office. The etymology of the word “politics” comes from the root word meaning “citizen.” Politicians were always meant to represent the people, and to be public “servants.”

In twelve-step programs, there is an emphasis on the importance of service. For recovering codependents like me, that’s a tricky thing, because I have a history of being of service to everyone EXCEPT myself. Cancer taught me that my first priority is my relationship with the divine infinite power that exists within me.

My next priority is my own basic human needs, which include healthy nutrition, sleep, exercise, meditation, laughter, creativity, and nature. It’s my responsibility to fill my own cup until it’s overflowing, so I can give to my family, friends and community from my OVERFLOW, and still be full.

In this time of political upheaval, it’s crucial that we stay informed and be of service to this country, but we must also balance that with self-care. This is a marathon, not a sprint, so please take breaks and find joy in your daily lives; otherwise you will crash and burn. And if you get discouraged, please reach out for help and strength. As Margaret Mead said, “Never underestimate the power of a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens to change the world. Indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has.” Martin Luther King Jr. said “Darkness cannot drive out darkness—only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate—only love can do that.”

The Women’s March in LA on 21 January warmed my heart.

There were so many people there marching peacefully, with love, kindness and humor. People from all walks of life were singing, chanting and exuding the spirit of a love revolution.

Marianne Williamson recommends this daily prayer: “Dear God, where would you have me go, what would you have me do, what would you have me say, and to whom?” Let’s all take divinely guided action so that we can be of the most service to this country.

And find me on Facebook or Twitter, so we can collaborate! © Suzanne Whang is best known as the host of HGTV’s #1 show, House Hunters, for almost a decade. She also co-hosted Bloopers with Dick Clark on NBC, and FOX After Breakfast with Tom Bergeron. Suzanne played Polly on NBC’s Las Vegas for four seasons, and she’s a double award-winning stand-up comedian. She’s a published author, keynote speaker, teacher, coach, political activist, and metaphysical minister. Suzanne has a B.A. in Psychology from Yale University, and a Masters in Cognitive Psychology from Brown University. She’s currently starring in the sitcom From Here On Out (Here TV), recurring on the new DirecTV series Kingdom, and stars in the hilarious film, A Weekend With The Family.

You can find her on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram @suzannewhang.

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Tom worked as a general handyman in a small village upstate, and was known to have occasional spells of binge drinking and debauchery from time to time. Despite his addiction and its associated cravings, he had managed to remain sober and quite well behaved for over a year.

One day, however, Madge, one of those relentlessly nosy and terribly respectable old widows with nothing else to do but meddle in people’s lives, stood up at a church meeting and accused him of reverting to his drunken ways.

A young guy from Nebraska moves to Florida and goes to one of those “everything under one roof” department stores looking for a job.

The Manager says, “Do you have any sales experience?”

“I saw your wheelbarrow parked outside the local pub for several hours on Wednesday,” she sneered. “You ought to be thoroughly ashamed of yourself!“

Tom, wrongfully accused, made no defense. In fact, he left the church without telling anyone he had actually been at the back of the pub, repairing the broken fences.

The kid says, “Yeah. I was a salesman back in Omaha.”

A bit later on, he finished his supper, then went out for his evening walk. On the way, he put his wheelbarrow outside Madge’s front gate and left it there overnight.

“You start tomorrow.” I’ll come down after we close and see how you did.”

Q: What do you call a fake noodle?

A: An Impasta.

Well, the boss liked the kid and gave him the job.

His first day on the job was a bit rough, but he kept his head about him and got through it.

After the store was locked up, the boss came down.

Q: What do you call a guy with a rubber toe?

A: Roberto

“How many customers bought something from you today?

The kid says, “One”.

The boss says, “Just one? Our sales people average 20 to 30 customers a day. How much was the sale for?”

The kid says, “$101,237.65 “.

The boss says, “$101,237.65? What the heck did you sell?”

The kid says, “First, I sold him a small fish hook. Then, I sold him a medium fish hook. Then, I sold him a larger fish hook and a box of fishing tackle. Then, I sold him a new fishing rod. Then, I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast, so I told him he was going to need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him a twin engine Boston Whaler. Then, he said he didn’t think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4x4 Expedition.”

The boss said, “A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a BOAT and a TRUCK?” The kid said, “No, the guy came in here to buy tampons for his wife, and I said, ‘Dude, your weekend’s shot, you should go fishing.’”

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by Ranay Dato

MARCH-APRIL 2017 - 57

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“Why is Service important?”

t went into “When I firs being of the rooms, me a sense service gave lf and also of my own se steem, lf-e lifted my se a sponsor, s but now a rs to get it helps othe se hardest through tho very, which days of reco s us all to in turn help nd sober.” stay clean a , Ohio ~ Juanita W

s ck what wa “To give ba .” u o y n to freely give amento, CA cr a S ., N ~ Pete “As a strugg was the only ling newcomer, it re me out of b ason I had to get ed each mo rning ~ Mark C. N YC, New York .”

“My program doesn’t work without it.” ~ Macey G. Los Angeles “Gets me out ~ Julie L of my head.” ., Califor nia matter.

“Actions tta do it.” ’s go Someone Oceanside, CA. . V., ~ Karen “Giving back—it helps people and it helps me.” ~ Rochelle S., Los Angeles, CA.

“Being of service gave me the self-worth I needed to stay clean.” ~ Jackson G, CA

“Service = Sobriety.” ~ Mary-Lou, Big Sur

“Service saved my sanity.” ~ Boston, MA I’m “Next week, to show finally going w I get everyone ho e shirt my cute littl ! That over my head e is kind of servic ant!” really import plorer ~ Dora the Ex

“Gives me purpose.” ~ George F, CA

“Service makes us feel good.

We build our self-es teem by accomplishing things .” ~ Ron B., Ft. Lauder dale, FL. “It gives me community, an a sense of d re that I am not a assures me lo ~ Robert W, Lo ne in this.” s Angeles, CA.

“There are few feelings on of earth worse than the feeling uselessness. Being of service erases that problem. ~ Roni, Ecuador.

active a n a s s “A , I wa titled. t c i d n ad felt e lfish.

I . r e e tak ery s iven v s a I w ce has g ul f Servi e wonder lf.” e h s t me my true X. f T gift o nnifer P, ~ Je

“We are in the business of service! We couldn’t do what we do otherwise.

Service is vital to us because you get to see how strong, powerful, clever and well-dressed we all are.“ ~ Superheroes, Worldwide. www.step12magazine.com

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Puzzle Solutions from Pages 36 & 37

TM

Carrying A Message of Hope

Thank You!

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Urea, a chemical compound found in urine, and Ambergris (whale vomit) are added to cigarettes for extra flavor.

IA IV d things tha

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ake you g

It’s illegal for drug companies to advertise to consumers almost everywhere in the world.

The only exceptions are the USA and New Zealand.

During the 12th Century, the Aztecs used a substance called teonanácatl, meaning “flesh of the gods,” that many believe was magic mushrooms.

They were used to induce trances, produce visions and communicate with the gods.

A study in 2013 revealed that opium cultivation in Afghanistan increased 300% since 2003 when compared to the seven years prior to the USA invasion.

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George Washington was the first large distiller established in the USA. In 1798, his distillery at Mount Vernon produced 11,000 gallons of whiskey.

In 2010, three burglars in Florida who thought they had found a stash of cocaine ended up snorting the ashes of a man and his two great danes.

Methyphobia

is fear of alcohol.

The alcohol content of a standard can of beer, glass of wine, or distilled spirit is identical.

Ozzy Osbourne’s entire genome has been analyzed by scientists to try to determine how he has survived after decades of extreme drug abuse.

NASA intoxicated spiders with different drugs to see if they could still build an effective web. All of the drugs reduced web regularity except for small doses of LSD, which actually increased it.

In Europe in the mid-sixteenth century, smoking tobacco was thought to cure syphilis.

The Star-Spangled Banner, the national anthem of the USA, was written in 1814 to the melody of the popular British drinking song To Anacreon in Heaven and was recognized for official use by the United States Navy in 1889.

MARCH-APRIL 2017 - 65

Aries Mar 21 – Apr 19

Taurus Apr 20 – May 20

Gemini May 21 – Jun 20

Cancer Jun 21 –Jul 22

Leo Jul 23 – Aug 22

Virgo Aug 23 – Sept 22

Mar – Romantic relationships will be at the forefront, so just enjoy. It seems March could be a good month for your career as well. If you are working for someone you might get a promotion but if you have your own business new contracts could be coming your way. Travel either on business or for pleasure could be on the cards. If you take a business trip it should be profitable or further your job prospects.

Apr – For the month of April, the sun will provide you with its powerful dynamic energies, enabling you to overcome great challenges. Therefore you should make your decisions confidently and distribute your energy intelligently. Try not to get into any open confrontations this month, and focus on solving problems one by one.

Also realize that this might not be the best time to plan a trip with friends or family.

Mar – You might experience some mental turmoil during the early part of this month but by focusing on yourself you will experience better relationships with loved ones towards the middle and end of this month. You might want to write down some future plans, and start working towards them but get them clear in your mind first. Relax as otherwise your health could become a problem.

Apr – This is your time to shine as a leader. Try to avoid getting into any partnership deals this month and really focus on intimate and personal relationships. You will confront obstacles with extreme positivity. Remember the importance of being open and honest and patient. You will have a real chance to stabilize your financial situation and prepare a solid foundation for further development.

Mar- You might feel your life has become a bit stagnant and you are now ready to do something about it. The problem is that you may not be thinking very logically as this month also brings a lot of love and passion. Take care of your health—you may want to consider taking up a relaxing activity such as Tai-Chi. This could become a lifelong interest and help to focus that wandering mind of yours.

Apr – This month has the potential to be made up of some extraordinary times. With that said, remember to practice balance and spend some extra time before making important decisions. Your energy is likely to be stable and even. Take advantage of this and re-evaluate where you’re spending your energy and your personal resources. And take the time to think hard before making any important decisions.

Mar – Direct your energy towards your job or business during March and you will also enjoy continued success into the future. Romance may not flourish but you will discover a new depth to relationships—trust and understanding will increase.

Financially things are looking good and you could perhaps consider spending some of your money on a short vacation. Stick to a healthy diet and every day exercise.

Apr – It’s critical to remember you DO have the resources to deal with the complicated month ahead. You will be facing significant life changes. Are you feeling powerless over your body, your eating habits, your exercise regimen? Start talking about it.

Engage in conversation about exercise, engage in conversation about your issues around exercise. It will get you closer to it. You are human, just like everyone else Mar – You will have a lot of opportunities coming your way. The single Leo should look out for true love as someone special could enter your life during this moon cycle.

Things might seem to be taking their time in your job but patience will pay off. Money is a bit short at the moment but it is okay because your income should still be more than your expenses. Remember to look after your heart.

Apr – During the first half of the month take a look at your home life and make some decisions. Money will help but it is just as important to show that you care. There will be a strong focus on the younger members of the family and they really do need your help right now. April will pass quickly and although work is important it will not be your main focus.

Mar – There are some new ways of thinking out there and one of these new ways will appeal to you and give you spiritual focus. This will be good for your mental health.

Trust your instincts. You may have a minor financial crisis but finances will stabilize during the month. At the end of March you will feel more at peace with yourself and family. You can do it because you accept the help and advice of others.

Apr – You will meet new people during April. They will offer new perspectives and inspire new ideas. You will also learn that you may have to change your goals.

Investments made some time in the past are looking good and will give you scope for movement. This is a good month for winning so you may want to enter a few competitions or even apply for a promotion at work.

66 - MARCH-APRIL 2017

Libra Sept 23 – Oct 22

Scorpio Oct 23 – Nov 21

Sagittarius Nov 22 – Dec 21

Capricorn Dec 22 – Jan 19

Aquarius Jan 20 – Feb 18

Pisces Feb 19 – Mar 20

Mar – Things will settle down on a professional and personal basis. Stay away from messy relationships. Your motto for the month should be “persistence beats resistance” and it will pay off. You are the captain and you need to take all the opportunities coming your way. Develop a financial strategy, write it down and stick to it. Look into rejuvenation, natural living for mind, body and soul.

Apr – Let this be a month of reflection while you take a look at some of the goals that you have set for yourself. Your intuition will be heightened during April, and you can put this to good use. Seek new alliances and friendships and perhaps rekindle some old friendships as this could bring new business and settle some old dreams.

Dreams may start coming true towards the end of the month.

Mar – Be selective with your social activity and make sure you partake in activities that benefit others as well. Friendship, love interests and relationships will also be important this month. Try to fit them in with your social calendar and bring your loved ones with you to your social activity. Money might be in short supply at the moment but things will get better. Traveling is not a good idea this month.

Apr – Now is the time to make the travel plans—efforts made on your trip will mean both personal and professional recognition. Curb your spending now as summer will bring more trips and adventures. You are thinking about organizing a special event.

It is important you do your homework for this special event to make sure everything goes smoothly.

Mar – Your personal and professional life is blessed. Take personal relationships more seriously after the 15th. You may be on top of the world but others are not so lucky. Plan your finances and you may have some spare cash. Get in touch with old friends. Facebook is okay but a chat over coffee is better. Keep your energy levels up with good physical activity, healthy diet and some special treats.

Apr – There is a strong focus on work in April, and it will be important for you to remain professional. If you are assigned a special project at work remember to use professional judgment. Don’t follow your heart when it comes to this matter. You will find you have excellent leadership skills. The middle of the month is an excellent time to consider expanding your horizons.

Mar – You will be busy but it’s also be a time for change, personal transformation and modifications. Put a smile on your face and go with the flow. Enjoy friends and family and spend some time enjoying the spring weather. Health dominates your sign this month so make this your priority. The decisions you make about your health will be important to you and your family and friends.

Apr – You might get some disturbing news from work but think before you speak.

Remain calm, think things over and take the appropriate action. Remain emotionally strong and don’t let negative influences affect your thinking. Avoid confrontations both at home and with work colleagues. Towards the end of the month you will have more energy and can spend some time focusing on other interests.

Mar – Spend time with your love ones. It is not your responsibility to carry the world on your shoulders. Just let go and let the world go round. Honesty is good but diplomacy is worth its weight in gold. Be careful in your job. Someone is trying to trip you up so be on top of your game and work with attention detail. Finances are not too great and could cause an argument at home.

Apr – Handle family problems with care, and try to see issues from another perspective. Once the problems have been solved enjoy spending time with friends and look on the brighter side of life. Stress could catch up with you during April and May so consider adding extra periods of rest, and perhaps a supplement. Avoid people with colds and infections as you could easily pick them up.

Mar – It is time to get intellectual. Keep yourself focused, mentally alert and stop yourself from drifting off into your dream universe. You normally lavish attention and love on your friends and family and when you choose to focus on your own pursuits it may come as a bit of a surprise. This will be a very hectic month but you will prosper.

An increase in income is on the cards.

Apr – It might have taken some time to get here but your hard work is now beginning to pay off and you will see some positive results. Participate in events and enjoy your health which is really good at the moment. The sun is warming both body and soul, and you will feel much better about your spirituality. Plant a garden, real or imaginary it doesn’t matter. You will feel a burst of creativity during April.

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