Sentinel april fools' day 2009

Page 1

The ¢entinel

St. Luke’s School New Canaan, CT

Inside This Issue... Read To Find Out!

April 1st, 2009

St. Luke’s Changes its Historic Name

Mr. Davis’ Generous Offer

Our school’s name and mascot have long been the subjects of contention and concern. Many members of the school community have expressed discomfort about the religiously-charged name and mascot. After many hours of consideration and discussion, the administration and Board of Trustees have revealed the long-awaited changes. St. Luke’s School will from this day be officially known as K.L.H.T. (Keen Learners’ Hill Top). The administration and Board of Trustees felt that the name K.L.H.T. would suitably reflect the values of the school, without containing any controversial innuendo. In addition, K.L.H.T. is well known as the former name of another private school in the area, and the administration was eager to snatch up the name as soon as it became free. “We were overjoyed when they changed their name to King because we have had our eyes on the name K.L.H.T. for quite a while,” says Mr. Yavenditti. There have been some concerns raised about confusion between the new K.L.H.T. and King, but Mr. Bailey reassures worriers, “Who cares if there is confusion? They’re both private schools in Connecticut, right? (he laughs)” With the new name has come a new mascot as well. We will now be known in athletic circles as the K.L.H.T. Kittens. Old jerseys for varsity spring sports will be replaced with new jerseys with kittens printed on them. Spectators at games are encouraged to purr in support of the team. Go Kittens!

It is common knowledge that juniors cannot park on campus after spring break. Now that tennis season has started, the tennis courts must be clear of cars. This means that the junior lot must be taken up by excess cars of faculty and visitors, leaving the juniors hanging from a limb (in other words, not allowed to drive to school). After a sudden change of heart, however, the administration changed their mind on this crucial position. Headmaster Mr. Davis knows that making alternate parking arrangements is troublesome and conflicts very easily with the busy schedules of both parents and students alike. That’s why he has donated his lawn to the St. Luke’s juniors. “I feel that they deserve parking, too,” said Mr. Davis. “I have plenty of space, and am happy to extend it to their cars.” In addition, the two juniors with the highest GPA will have access to Mr. Davis’s personal two-car garage, which is perfect for bad weather. “I want to encourage high academic performance,” noted Mr. Davis. 11th graders are encouraged to park around Mr. Davis’ home and on the hill in front of it. “If you do park on the hill, please use your emergency brakes; I don’t want your car in my kitchen!” Mr. Davis added.


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