AN ASSISTED SEARCH FOR SERENITY

It all started with a little piece of paper on his tongue. Aft er all, life has been tough recently. He’s been struggling with school, work, relationships, and even his home doesn’t feel like home. Th ere’s a constant overarching sense of discomfort following him around. As if something is looming in the shadows, waiting for a single misstep. He can’t take it anymore; he needs to know why. As his thoughts were reaching a breaking point, he heard kids at lunch talking about tripping this weekend. He overheard someone say, “It’s pretty sick bro, it really lets you dive, like, into your mind man.”. At that moment, he knew exactly what he needed. Speaking to therapists never helped; they didn’t know what he was going through. Th e moment he got home, he whipped out his laptop and typed in LSD. For the next few hours, he did research. What does LSD do? How does it make you feel? Best places to trip? Where to fi nd it? How to test it? Finally, his decision was made. “I, too, will be tripping this weekend,” he thought to himself. Finding acid was surprisingly easy for him- he just asked the “stoner” kid in his 6th-period history class. By the time he left school, the quarter-inch piece of paper was in his possession. Th roughout his walk home, as he passed dozens of white picket fences, mossy oaks, and strangers, he would briefl y pull out the tab of acid and stare at it in amazement. He couldn’t believe that a piece of paper that small could have all the answers he was looking for. But, for the fi rst time in a long time, he felt in control. Th ursday and Friday fl ew by in the blink of an eye, and before he knew it, Saturday arrived. His mother and her obnoxious boyfriend left for a weekend vacation once again, leaving the house in his care. “Today is the day.”, he said to himself. He sat at the edge of his bed, placed the tab of acid upon his tongue, and laid back, allowing it to dissolve. He read online that acid takes anywhere from twenty to ninety minutes to kick in, so he put the Red Hot Chili Peppers Californication album on shuffl e and watched Bob Ross videos on mute. As each second passed, he began to feel more and more spaced out. Th oughts would shoot in and out of his head at a rapid rate, like atoms around a nucleus. It was all very overwhelming. He wandered over to the bathroom, splashed his face with water, and as he was doing so, locked eyes with himself in the mirror. He was in a trance, all he saw was himself within himself; inception in its purest form. Th e next thought that popped into his mind was the one he found troubling himself day in and day out. What is my purpose? Each day on earth is a repetitive cycle; we wake up, we eat, we work, and we sleep, every day until we die. He found himself in a loop uttering the same six words for hours: wake up, eat, work, sleep, die. Until he couldn’t take it anymore. He was done with those pessimistic thoughts. Yes, life is a cycle. Yes, it can get repetitive. Yes, everybody dies. So what? Life’s limited quantity is what makes each waning moment so special. Sure, some days are better than others. But just because 3,000 seconds of one day were god-awful doesn’t mean the other 83,400 seconds should be thrown away. Once he developed this outlook, he vowed to never allow pessimistic thoughts to consume him again. He realized every moment on this earth is a gift to cherish, as each day is never guaranteed. Just like that, he found comfort within himself, which he never thought was possible.

Writer: Lucas Zaret / Editors: Jayna O & Lexi Fernandez