DROWNING IN THE PAST

DROWING IN THE PAST PAST

Waves of hurt, waves of fear, wash over me like drugs – oh dear –

that wash away this space and time, hold all my hope in pretty lies.

Hold all my hope in hazed green eyes and arms that hold me one more time?

Arms that cradle me to sleep within this scary great big sea, yet I am swimming all alone caving in between my bones.

I crave it like a deep disease, it overtakes and overwhelms me, it calls my name, beckoning: come lose yourself in the great big sea.

I feel when it tosses me, cradles, rocks, and alters the structure of my whole wide world, and once again I’m just a girl.

I’ve lost that girl in the great big sea. I gasp for air, try to breathe,

while I look for myself in waves of hurt. Swim, dive, drown. I can’t fi nd her.

Writer: Cristina Angee Editors: Noelle Knowlton & Lexi Fernandez Shoot Staff ers: Katie Jones, Vallerie Kolczynski, Sydney Tindall, Marriana Gutierrez Beauty: Marriana Gutierrez Models: Vicky Ortiz, Daniel Candelaria-Petrocchi Photographer: Tess Passinault, Abby Marcil Videographer: Renee Rivas Layout: Clara Celedon

e Chaos It washes over me. e Confusion e Coping e Pressure e Pain e Chaos e Emptiness e Grief Consumes e Loss of Self Me

When did I lose her? How can I get my old self back?

What happened to me? Who am I? I miss who I once was

is isn’t at all how I imaged it to be. Please just comfort me. I don’t want to be this version of myself Dear self, I miss you... ...Please come back to me